A letter from an ardent LIB reader and commenter. She needs your advise. Read below...
I’ve been having this dilemma for quite some time now. Advice me please... albeit bluntly. Of course its a ‘guy’ issue. The only problem is that this ‘guy’ is my in-law.
I meet guy last year, while I was on holiday in Abuja. He’s married to my cousin, a lady I hadn’t seen in like 18 odd years. When I met him, I greeted him like I would any other relation. After our first meeting, we would all go out together, to family parties and general outings. Through that, guy and I exchanged BB pins.
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When I eventually got back to the US, we maintained a cordial relationship; even though on BB, he was one of those contacts that would never have a display pic or update his status, almost like he wasn’t there. We never really chatted....it was mainly a ‘how is family, how are things’ sort of chat.
Then one day, I displayed a picture of me...a rather sultry one. With that the compliments flooded in; surprisingly this guy that barely talked to me, ping me saying ‘you’ve forgotten me shey’. At first I thought he mistakenly sent the message to the wrong contact. So I replied, ‘me ke? (my name) cannot forget you oh, you’re family now’. He then laughed it off and asked for my number. I was baffled, but then I thought, he is family. What harm could he do? (How wrong was I).
I sent him my number and he called almost immediately. I thought it was weird, but I blew it off. After all guy was family..... He told me he liked me, that he was attracted to me and had been from the moment he set his eyes on me. I was flabbergasted. I’m not the kind of woman to shut someone down, even if they’re blatantly wrong, so I told him I was flattered but nothing would ever amount from what he’d just told me, because he is a married man. We ended the conversation on a nice note, and I thought we were done.
After that phone conversation, our chats on BB became more frequent. We chatted every single day. He would compliment me constantly....telling me the sweetest things, calling me beautiful and special. This went on for several months and soon after I started to fall for him. I would get butterflies whenever i got a ping, thinking it was him. I would get agitated it he hadn’t pinged me all day. I became emotionally attached. He visited the US a couple of times and would ask me to meet him and I would. The last time I met him, one thing led to another and we both stripped to our undies. When I told him I couldn’t go any further and that it wasn’t inappropriate, he ushered me out....as if to say, ‘you’re useless get out’. (That still didn’t stop the sweet messages and compliments).
I kinda felt really special...like out of all the girls it was me he chose (ODE). It was so easy to disregard my cousin after all I hadn’t known her that long and she was a stranger.
A few weeks backs, I found out that his wife had a baby. She didn’t tell us she was pregnant because she wanted to surprise us, as it was her first child.
Since she’s put to bed, the chats are not as frequent as they used to be. Before it was like he was pestering and bothering me....now it’s like i’m the one doing the bugging.
I’m at a loss; I’ve accumulated feelings for this man....something that I know is too damn wrong. I’m trying to escape it. Sometimes i’m mad at him for being so selfish...but when he pings me, I forget everything.
Recently, I’ve been feeling like a piece of shit. I feel like I was used to appease his sexual desires while his wife was pregnant. All the compliments and sweet things were just a ploy to get me exactly where he wanted. I also feel like he played on my naivety as he is an older (6yrs) man. I feel so easy. I feel like he sees me as a ‘non (motherfucking) factor. Someone he can pick up and drop whenever he likes. This has made me lose focus on what’s important in my life.
I sometimes feel so annoyed, like he has his beautiful wife, he’s beautiful child and a lovely home and here I am, no gain. How could I allow myself to fall for this nigga, knowing full well that he was never on the market?
In the process of all this, we exchanged various details. From phone numbers to work and personal emails to skype ID to home address. I’ve attempted to delete him from my BBM. When I did, he emailed me and when I didn’t reply, he skyped me.
I don’t know what to do. I want to cut him off completely, but then I think I will see him one day, how do I answer his questions? Would he attempt to pick up from where he left off? I am actually afraid of what might transpire if we meet again.
LIB readers, what do you make of this, have any of you ladies had such experiences? Men, have you done this kinda thing to girls before? Help me make sense of this issue please. Before I lose my mind!!
Regards.
D. x
450 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 400 of 450 Newer› Newest»like seriously? nothing wey person no go hear sha.
well, the best thing is to cut him off........you know like you said, he has a wife and a kid. what exactly do you wanna be in the picture? the estranged cousin secretly fucking the husband?
My dear am happy cos u know d truth.Let this your so-called bro in-law be in the past and face what lies ahead of u.Think of something better,mayb skul,wrk or probably marriage.This man is not your Mr right,he belongs to some1 else,ur cozn 4 dat mata.When yu get married n u find out ur hubby is sleeping wif ur housegirl not 2 talk of ur own blood,u'll feel like hanging ur self.If u delete him outta ur life,n u mit him somewhere else again,tell him ure a wife material like ur cuz n not a tissue case closed.I know it aint easy,cos i've bin there,but u can do it wif determination.
Well,you laid your bed now you can sleep on it,you shouldnt have gotten chatty and cosy with him in the first place, jeez!!! Your cousin's husband!! That was totally out of it.Anyways i would advice you to delete all contacts with him and move on with your life, i guess the dude just took for a ride.
Using the fact that he is older than you is just a flimsy excuse. He did not force you to do anything you originally didn't want to do. Avoiding him also will not change anything because when you meet again, he will assume that you can continue where you left off. I suggest that you have to come to a realization that the man is TAKEN!!! He cannot offer anything to you. He is not going to leave his wife and child for you. He is just USING you and playing on your emotions. Start by telling him on BB that you have come to the realization that he has nothing to offer you and no matter how sweet his promises sound, he is not going to follow through on it. When he calls you, pick up his call and let him know that you don't want to have anything to do with him anymore, he should face his wife and child. When he knows your stance on the matter, then you can delete him on BB, Skype and anywhere you have his contact. If he still pesters you, avoid his calls. Good luck. It s a mind thing and I hope your mind wins over this matter!!
You don't owe him anything my dear, cut him off completely and ask God for mercy. Its not easy I know but its for the best
My Dear, you did the wrong thing...but i wont crucify you cos no one is perfect and two wrongs dont make a right....i ll give u what u seek, advise....you have to let urslf hurt, break out of that incest relationship...the guy is wicked and doesnot deserve you...you can do it...i broke up from my wife-beater fiance...it was difficult but now am happily engaged to a very sweet man...he makes me so happy and fulfilled....open your heart and give someone else a chance...den u ll forget ur cousin's husby...hope dis make sense...cheers
I'm gonna try hard not to judge you for being so selfish that you'd want to steal ur cousins HUSBAND, I'll give u the benefit of a doubt and blame it on ur naievity and the 'husband's greed and sexual immaturity. You've learnt ur lesson, thats what counts. Now u better go on ur knees and start praying that the hammer of God will not strike you and the man in vengance on your cousins behalf.
you should be ashamed of your self, you showed a sultry picture of yourself to gather compliments, it should be a lesson next time, keep it modest, attention is not worth much, what if he raped you? if you are so lonely keep your loneliness to yourself and find people outside of your family and bbm, there must be someone for you somewhere, i hope you are not lonely because i feel for you, most people would want to be in your shoes, you should be happy that you didn't get intimate with him, but that does not excuse the position you brought yourself into. good luck for the future
My dear, let him go, he is just not worth it. I had a similar experience, but in my case, it was a friend's hubby. When I realized where he was headed, I deleted him from BB, and when he calls, I get very cold and distant, he got the message fast! Now whenever I see him, he pretends he doesn't know who I am (lol)! You will get over him if you don't let your heart rule ure head. Imagine how your cousin would feel if she finds out!
Hmmm, something similar has happened to me b4, not my cousin`s hubby. I understand how u feel girl.pls take heart.. kisses. And dont forget to report him as spam on skype i mean blokk him. Very soon, u will get over it
It's not a difficult thing...If you are not ready to wreck your cousin's house,why dont you send his a message threatening to show his wife all the messages he had sent if he does not buzz off...Maybe that could do the trick.You were used in passing time,u should be happy no sex was involved as that could have been a lot messier.
sasha says...
do u really want an advise...or a resounding KNOCK on ur head?????
Na wa for this babe o......i'll advise you just shut the fuck up and move on.If you like when next you see him open your legs wide for him make him do again! Abi u be another Nuella? It wont work o
I DEY LAFF OOO,NONSENSE,but wait u straf u cousin husband.my advise 'continue'
I understand ur plight.the guy in my own story wasn't related 2 me in anyway tho & I'm lucky I got a grip of myself before things went 2 far. When a guy is 'interested' in u he'd do anything to get 2 get u. Obviously u were a sub for the period his wife was preggers!! I'll advice u to cut of all contacts from him.. U are in no way answerable 2 him!if he asks u y u cut him off,bluntly tell him u think its best 4 d both of u. Its when u start 2 discipline ur emotions that u find it easier 2 face him.Best of luck!!
Oponu ni eleyi.
Silly hoe
Leave this guy. There's no future except you want to destroy your family. Get some closure. Good thing you live abroad. Cut off all communication and ignore him. Deny the whole episode like it never happened and move on with your life. It might not be easy to deny the feelings you had for him at first, but the faster the better. Good luck
Hah! I feel yuu dear so much..been there befre (not wiv family so to say)...can't wait for comments on dis.. Its Hard but yu need tu pull out...((Hugs))
just try and leave him alone and move forward erase him frm your brain even if u see him tmoro do as if u hav seen no body.you can do it let by gonr be by gone.
u really need 2 refocus ur life n stay away from dis dude who doesnt have respect for his home.il call him a 'destiny crasher'.be ware!
Well its high time both of them get back to their senses....cos if they continue they will commit great sins before God and their family
You are not a victim. There are over 7 billion people on the planet. Surely you can find someone who is not married and not an in-law! Cut your losses, learn the lesson and move on before your family finds out.
Nope.
You be complete M U M U, still dey talk nigga dis, butterfly that. What help are u asking for? How to get his attention back abi wetin? U dey craze ni? He has seen the type of girl you are, cheap. With ur BBM picture, looking for cheap attention and you got it. For someone to try to chase a family member of his wife, you know the kind of guy he is. He is enjoying playing mind games with you, and you know what? You will stay there for another 10yrs. Someone that will chase you like fly if you nor gree do, dey make u feel like queen at the same time.hahaha, your own don finish. Wetin you dey do for US? No work? No school? You seem to have a lot of time on your hands. Try getting busy, cutting him off and getting some self respect. Mumu geh, getting jealous of a family member's husband, a married man sef. You should have cut him off and ignored his advances initially. I bet you had sex with him too. Don't worry, wait for 2yrs when the wife is pregnant again. Madam everlasting cum bucket. You are the perfect tool, shame no go let you come out and tell your family, except u don craze patapata.
I trust Nigerian, especially LIB they will kill the girl with insult while the guy will get nothing. Even Nella and Tchidi matter, na only Nuella everybody dey insult. That is why African man get away with everything cos they know say na only woman people go blame. I hope we will wise-up oneday. The guy did it intentionally afterall nobody go blame am, na only woman be ashawo and gold-digger. Oneday, we will all realise that men are Diamon-digger as well.
First and foremost I'm happy u knw he's nothing but a user.he doesn't have an iota of respect for u if not he wouldn't have picked his wifes cousin regardless of d fact dat u guys aren't close,family is family somethings shldnt just be done.sorry to be dis blunt but u re a big fool for allowing him manipulate u d way he did.for christs sake he's ur cousins husband,den God will punish him for choosing u to be his object of sick fantasies.dat u re still harbouring feelings for him wen u have learnt of his treachery just goes to show u are weak willed n think lowly of urself.if I were u I will blast madness out of his head n act like he never existed.get ur act straight,he didn't loose anything,u on d oda hand has lost ur self respect.d sooner u end dis nonsense d better for u.
u r very stupid nd shameless 2 hv done wat u did, wat kinda brain do u hv, guess u got cookies up dier!
damn!! berra confess 2 ur cousin nd beg 4 forgiveness,stupid slot.....
get it together and forget the asshole. it was never going to amount to anything.
You are actually on the wrong path young lady and what both of you have done is abominable and it's incest because you are related.Retrace your steps and turn your face to GOD genuinely for forgiveness.Delete his Pin and stop all flow of information while you seek forgiveness from God.
disgusting piece of shit...whore, d man treated u xcatly lik wat u r trash.. dat is hw u pple roam around seekin 4 hme 2 break...HOME BREAKERS!!
1st of all I'll say u beta 4get dt dude n focus on wot's more important.av dis facts in Ur mind 1)he's Ur cousin's husband,2)u dnt av a future wit him,3)Ur cousin will be very disappointed if she eva finds out dt u had sth 2 do wiv d hubby which is WRONG!4)men will always be men,he has gotten wot he 1ted 4rm u SEX n nw he's gone back 2 his wife....do urself a favour n get over such unreal feelings n tink of hw u're gona av ur own home wit sum1 who's gona av ur full attention.dnt be a second fiddle!Kapish!Airi.
I am highly disappointed with you, you still have the guts to even send out such an article asking for suggestions. The answer is plain already. Thank God u weren't even used and dumped which i wish was the case. How can u fall for your cousins husband? especially when you are in the know. You are a disgrace to womanhood and need to b highly punished.It is wrong to even date a friends boyfriend how much more a married man to your COUSIN. ahahan, pls na arent u just STUPID.He can never have anything serious with you becos ure a backstabber.
You are not even ashamed to be messing around with a married man to start with. People like you are out there destroying many families! Instead of you to caution your cousin about the type of pig she went to marry, you decided to become a greater pig than him and be having a relationship behind her back! That poor child might have to deal with divorced parents because of ashewo like you! Then you bring your dirty ideas here asking for advice? You don't deserve any!
My dear, you are an ode. Better go and find something better to do with your life.
I think you are the reason they call women stupid/ I think you are an ODE, I think you will still fall into this kind of trap again, I think you are the reason married men wont stop thinking theres a quickie out there. JUST MY THOUGHT.
Oh bless ur lil heart, he will never give u what u want, u just anoda booty call, forget abt him n move on, delete him from ur skype & move on, don't be a marriage destroyer, all the best girl
Hi dear, i know pple might reign abuses on you, pls ignore.
I understand ur plight. You need to be strong 4 urself and think deeply and ask yourself "What is your gain"
There are times as a woman u need to be strong and make decisions with ones brain rather than with d heart.
Pls ignore and forget this guy, delete every thing relating to him. and move on.
U'll definitely meet a guy that deserves u....
Linda i can see u have upgraded your blog system. Thumps up..
As it is written: Wisdom is profitable to direct. Wisdom is the principal thing and in all your getting, get wisdom and get understanding.
Q: How do I get wisdom?
A: FEAR GOD!
Wisdom will direct you and order your steps.
Wisdom would have directed you to stay away from another woman's husband be her a relation or a total stranger.
Fear God for He instituted marriage.
Remember you started this by displaying an inappropriate pic and going further to entertain the koko from a married man.
You had the power to start it and you still have the power to stop it.
Ignore him and move on. Delete everything about him from your life and when you do meet him relate with him as an in-law that he is, with respect and nothing more.
Who knows what the Lord would have done for you already if you had showered all that love and affection on the one that loves you more than you can ever imagine, His name is Jesus Christ.
Put all that I have written to the test and let your heart beat for God alone. Your heart is safe with Him and no man would be able to hurt you.
You'll be eternally glad you did.
My question has got to be 'How old are you' that way i'd know how best to address the situation. But as getting the answer to that wud be a little far fetched let me go ahead and give you my two cents. You should never have gone there, period!! His a married man and from get go the alarm bells rang loud and clear but you chose to ignore them. He chose to contact you which was fine, but you indulged him. You should have put an end to it when he made he's advances. Men know the trick to get a chic is to tell her what she wants to hear, make her feel like she's the only one in the world. Sooner or later, she falls like a pack of cards. If he was single then oh! by all means have a party and do whatever. Were you expecting him to leave her for you? or maybe carry on with the affair till you were ready to end it? I'm not quite sure what you wanted out of all this. But anyway i'm sure you've learnt your lesson!
You mean you let him bang you for a number of years and not so much as a BB Porsche (apologies to suxie pee) to show for it?
// I feel like I was used to appease his sexual desires while his wife was pregnant...I also feel like he played on my naivety .... I feel so easy. I feel like he sees me as a ‘non (motherfucking) factor. Someone he can pick up and drop whenever he likes. .
I sometimes feel so annoyed, like he has his beautiful wife, he’s beautiful child and a lovely home and here I am, no gain... //
All you feel is quite frankly the damn truth but actually its much worse as you allowed him make you loose focus on your life..YOUR LIFE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ALL THESE CHEATING HE-GOATS CALLED MARRIED MEN that said, You are what you think dear..Please if you think your life isnt worth living, kill yourself and create space for another. Be rest assured that the guy will still have his family + will still chase ladies. Look if you areold enough to f*ck, you are old enough to use your brain. Ladies that go for married men quite often know exactly what these he goats are good for..materials things or good sex or both. These broken men are Never, ever for keeps
You hear me so?
sayingitasitis
@ Poster,hmmm. Thanks for sharing this experience so that other ladies (men too) will see the danger of having an 'emotional affair' on Social networks. You asked for advice abi? Here si my 2 kobo advice: Delete all contacts and links you have with this man,sure he will call or keep emailing you but you do not have to respond. Once you pick the call and realise its him,calmly end the call. Cut this man off completely! The more you talk,chat,bbm or whatever with him,the more attached you will be to him. When you do meet him someday,which may not be inevitable (as you are inlaws) politely greet him and then keep your distance. Ask yourself,if this was my hsband flirting/hitting on my cousin,how would i feel? Please STAY AWAY from this man who obviously has no respect for his wife or fear of God.
My Dear, its clear you know what to do. Thing is its all wrong from the start, you don't go after a married man nor do you give them any kind of time. To allow one who is also married to your extended family makes it doubly wrong.
As things haven't gone beyond where it should not, my advice is for you to totally disregard all contact from him, use the fact that you feel dumped as a source of energy to do it.
We should all be wise to flee from every appearance of evil
You Like Koboko JooOOOooOOOOr*In D'banj's tone*
Wahala wey BB go cause, BB no go fit resolve am!
Better delete all his contacts from your head or phone or wherever yoy kept them. You were used for that time his wife was heavily pregnant. Get that into your head.
Anyway, not to be too harsh, dust yourself and move on. Girls fall for these things most of the time so no be only you.
BTW you still no get sense sha
i just think u are a desperate, confused and folish "kid".wat? are u ok?and u sound like its one of those things. just read wat u wrote and c if it makes sense. put urself in dt woman's shoe, imagine ur COUSIN doing that to u.some girls just piss me n u are one of them.go get a job, read ur books and get busy.just do smth worthwhile pls.when d man for you comes he wont want to use u for a while and face his work. he ll love u enof to genuinely care for u and with time take u to the altar if thats d guy for u. pls gal go get a life, dis is not one. hw will u feel whn u c ur cousin????? plsssss
I know how it can be. When guys are completely selfish.. Asin they get you to that place n then they just leave you there.. But ur case is diff. Cos you know he is married. I have one thing I always say.. If u know u get emotional easily. Don't. Get wit a Married Man.. Don't!! Well. My advise is this delete him completely.. U don't owe him anything when u see him again.. Then concentrate on forgetting him.. Trust me.. U will b able to after a while.. Go n wit ur life n find a single guy to give u the butterflies..
The main reason why it's paining you so much is because you F*CKED him, even a blind man can read between the lines.
"I feel like I was used to appease his sexual desires while his wife was pregnant"
I honestly dont know what this chiq is worried about. the fact is, his wife was having pregnancy blues, he couldnt stand all of it, he decided to go for a fun seeking adventure n met u. he did all wat he did with u, passing time before he gets his wife back(after d baby).
u have all the answers right with u which is he doenst love u, he is ur relation's husband. he is just playing with u. wat du expect from such a man. dont let ur emotions cloud ur sense of reasoning. use ur head not ur heart. do away with those silly ideas n occupy ur mind with some other serious things. cut off all contacts n make oda things ur priority so u dont land urself in trouble that will consume u.
i hope this helps.
You are a dumb bitch and you deserve what you get! I hope your next boyfriend cheats on you.......Basic Bithch
I think the lady is ingatuated, and pointlessly emotionally attatched to the man possibly because of the existing vacuum in her life. My take is that she should get over it before getting too deep, because the moment the man gets what he wants, everyone's eyes would be clear but someone will carry more injury than another. . .
Gboza says:
Lol... Perhaps I'ld help u make sense on this if I call this story 'Beautiful nonesense'
Nawaoooo. Seems like you've been played babe. I went through something similar. He wasn't married but in a serious relationship. These kinda men are manipulative and honestly, you were naive. It's wrong that you got that close to him, knowing who he was married to....now that was naive. I sha don't know how you would allow yourself to be in your undies with him, you're lucky he didn't rape you when you stopped. Anyway...I suggest you cut him off completely and avoid him until he forgets you or gets the message. If you've still got feelings for him, try and keep yourself busy with other thoughts until those feelings fade.
~ Menakaya's Baby.
Ashawo, leave him alone he's a married man. Now you ve guilty trips because he went back to his wife, ur cousin for crying out loud. It's people like u dat smear single ladies in the mud. #isorai
You must be an old ulgy wench, sitting on her fat ass, waiting for the ping of a married man. You no get boyfriend ni, ode buruku ole. You need deliverance, nonsense and ingredient. #longhissss.
If i must be sincere with u, having a relationship with the guy in the beginning is utterly wrong but having said that, the guy used u while his wife was pregnant becos pregnant women could be nasty at times and just want 2 be left alone. Good u did not go all d way with d guy. my advice is 4 u to delete him from ur bb, delete him from ur emails and block future invites from him, also delete him from skype and block him, if possible av a new skype account. I know it might not be easy since u av some feelings for him but u av got to sike ur self up and constantly tell urself u av nothing to gain by having feelings for him but rather u av got everytthing to loose and also find a way of occupying urself with other things if it is making new friends, going to d gym, attending church or mosque more often and been more active, just anything to occupy ur time and take ur mind away from him. also whenever u see him next just greet him like a normal friend and dont allow urself to be alone with him or av any private conversation with him. Hope this helps. Av been in such a situation b4 although just with a neutral guy but left me 2 get married 2 someone esle after av developed all d emotions and this was how i dealt with d issue. Now i dont av d minutest feeling for him. even after marrying he still had d guts to call me dat i shd come and meet him somewhere but i did not and blocked all contacts with him. Now i am happily married with a son and live in Europe with my husband.
Dont mean to be rude, HE WAS A MARRIED MAN....you should have known better than to be collecting his mobile number...you dey craze? One thing you must understand is you will never know what goes on in his marriage so its not in your place to be carrying on with him as if he was single! Its obvious the man has problems commiting to his wife and thats the place for the church NOT YOU! He will never have respect for you-thats for sure cos you have given him what he wanted and that was sex, oh well at least he has told you your level! There is no point crying over spilt milk you deserved all the insults! Nonsense! You dont need advise, common sense will tell you you were acting foolishly, furthermore if your cousin finds out you better pray it dosent ruin your future with any single man thats wants to marry you!
Long hisss, Linda pls this post looks like a story put 2geda by a 5yr old and does not make sense in anyway, like she stripped and refused to do and he asked her out then now she is feeling like she was used by the man to satisfy his sexual urge when wifey was preggy? that means at a point girl finally agreed to go all the way with man and that's why now girl is feeling like shit. What was she even thinking in d first place, ur cousins hubby? even if it's ur friends hubby sef, she would have vehemently refused to have anything to do with him. any it's a good thing she feels like shit now sha, enuf said, i no pity her sha
He basically used you and you foolishly for whatever reason fell for it. Did you know he had a wife from the beginning? If you knew, then Im sorry but you are very stupid. My advise to you is to delete him from all your contacts and move on with your life. Just thank God you didnt sleep with him or else you would have felt even more useless.
lib readers,before you start to cast the stone,think deeply about this..it happens to many people.It's only bad when you decide to continue with it.I think you should just see a pastor or confide in another trusted person who would be your support while you cut this man off for good.
Luckily,you havent had sex with him yet(rolling eyes)he just wanted to use you just as most men who have pregnant wives do.He is a goat and a green dog combined for even thinking of cheating on his wife with you.
so lady please cut offffff as in ,,,the guy no send you at all......
You have to move on.
Shut down. Change the BB;
Transfer your contacts to Android so you wont remember the thought of being pinged.
You have to be strong. If the guy isnt family, there may have been room for hot fucks and fast screws and delicious licks. But the guy is family. Ypu can never escape family.
Even the most rebellious amongst all of us, still need them for a few things. So cut your losses and leave. Lif is hard for evrybody.
So you are not the first person to go through a love so profound (seemingly so) that you can barely function. But believe me, as a veteran, and someone who has been in love so uncontrollably - at that time: in the end it will gradually die down and life will go on.
So darling, let go.
REMEMBER, EVEN THIS....shall pass.
1974
You have to move on.
Shut down. Change the BB;
Transfer your contacts to Android so you wont remember the thought of being pinged.
You have to be strong. If the guy isnt family, there may have been room for hot fucks and fast screws and delicious licks. But the guy is family. Ypu can never escape family.
Even the most rebellious amongst all of us, still need them for a few things. So cut your losses and leave. Lif is hard for evrybody.
So you are not the first person to go through a love so profound (seemingly so) that you can barely function. But believe me, as a veteran, and someone who has been in love so uncontrollably - at that time: in the end it will gradually die down and life will go on.
So darling, let go.
REMEMBER, EVEN THIS....shall pass.
1974
The best way to avoid this manner of complications is to avoid intimacy. Many things can be said, but once there is no intimidating intimacy, the lust will soon fade away. Let the lady look for her own husband.
Me dear u are very lucky..I will translate it to u d way some married women see it...its cause of shit slutty behaviour from girls like you I spend thousands moinitoring and tracking my husbands every move...ur lucky u got a nice cousin. If it was me I would fuck u up, ur career, ur happiness infact i will be a thorn stuck in your neck. How clearly do u want the message STOP GOING AFTER PEOPLE'S HUSBANDS...ur not dumb girl if he ping u.. dont reply!! block his motherfuckin ass fron contactin u...I mean are u serious???? dont know wat ur mothers be teaching u but she darned as hell didnt do a good job Nonsense!!!!!!!!
My dear as a lady myself I will simply say no be today....she should just move on she was just a neccessary distraction and past time for him....
Be strong, delete all numbers.......yes he would ring once in a blue moon and the feelings you have for him will come rushing back but the longer the disconnection goes, the easier it will get and you will tell him boldly to piss off. Don't be surprised to know you are just one of his many bit on the side. You will find your special person soon who will love you and look after you. He is just a playa.
D if 2 say I can see u, u deserve a huge slap.. Na u lose of course.. Wat do u fink u r saying? U slept wiv ur cousin's husband and u feel for him and shit.. Pls d bobo don chop u clean mouf.. Dats wat it is.. Ur cousin is a stranger and all.. Very soon u sleep wiv ur dad and fink he is a stranger as unto nofin.. Once a guy is married he should be off limits whether he is ur ex boyfriend or sista's husband.. I suppose he didn't even give u money d few tymes he devoured u.. U r such a loser.. U r his puppet, comes around weneva he wants to..he already made his choice.. His lovely wife, the mother of his child, ur cousin.. Babe run as fast as ur legs can carry.. If I knw ur parents I for don tell dem.. Can u imagine d shame ur folks will feel because u can't close ur legs and find a man of ur own.. Fine single bois full niaja.. Find one and pls leave some1's..
mschewwwww she is not serious! see me waiting for the story to climax
girl, u just have to forget him as difficult as it may seem. pele
STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM HIM, HE IS A NON ENTITY!
FACE UR LIFE N FIND UR OWN MAN simples!
afta all dis u will b d 1 2 lose cos he wont b satisfied...u will jes b a tool 4 him 2 use nd dump....@ d end wen eventually u wanna settle down wif ur own man it can(nt even can it will affect u negatively) which am sure u re hvin it in mind 2 settle down...jes cut him off completely...also ask urself dis ques 'wat will hppn if ur cousin gets 2 find out evritin dat has bein goin on btw u 2'??
Girl, you really need to get a life and pray to God that those pics never fall into wrong hands cos if his wife ever sees those pics, you're so dead. Its really easy to forget about a guy especially if as you said, you guys didnt actually have sex..All you have to do is superimpose him with someone else..meaning that you should just start giving other guys on your case the light of day....Once you're adequately distracted with receiving attention from other guys, believe me you'll forget about this other guy who is really a douche bag...The truth is that we can actually be quite fickle when it comes to members of the opposite sex. I think u were starved of attention at the time he started coming onto you...And yes, this is coming from another chick. Goodluck!
What is there to make of this silly story....like she rightly called herself she is an ODE. men will always be men but as a chic u've got to have virtues...how can any right thinking chic fall for her cousins husband even if u have not seen her since u both were 1yr old...its just plain wrong.
Abeg madam forming confused u know what to do. and oh just while u keep hanging on, know u re being fooled. I'm irritated jare.
All I can say is please let this go. You're young, find yourself a single guy.
my darlyn face reality,he is married n u wld always be no 2...he wont walk away from his marriage,wife and lovely kid jst bcos U
wake up and stop building castles in the air
Run while you still have your legs. Cut himoff completely. He has already shown you that he just wanted to make you a play thing whilst his wife, YOUR COUSIN was heavy and incapable of satisfying his libido. As soon as she put to bed, he ran back to her. Can't you see the handwriting on the wall.......? A word for the wise is sufficient.
Hi D.X
How could you possibly let your self go for a "married guy" and in this case not just any married guy your inlaw!!
you got what was coming for you as it is typical.
PEN
You Better put your head together and focus on more important things in your life instead of running around with a maried man and with a relatively stable home.Go stabilize your self with your man not another woman's man
Hmmm... You are not the first and you wont be the last to play the fool. Honey, you asked for blunt advice...here we go:
U crossed a line that you should not have even reached. Regardless of what he is thinking or feels, PUT YOUR BIG GIRL PANTIES BACK ON RIGHT NOW and keep it moving!
I want to assume you are a grown-up, so act like one and stop acting like there is no tomorrow.
Thank God you woke up..its easy for a lady to fall in love with a married man they always no what to say dats y as a personal mantra married man are a NO NO for me I dnt have dem even as friends jus aquaintances n dats as far as it goes..it cud happen to any1 from this and never find yourself here againdon't feel condemned but LEARN fromthis and NEVER find yourself in this situation again and a lil piece of advice no woman should EVER feel comfortable breaking up another womans home u are bringing into your life what u bring into the life of another
An interesting read. As the relationship and your feelings developed gradually, you'll need to gradually let them ease off. He knew what he was doing all along and its good that you identified that he just wanted to use you to satisfy his sexual desires. Stay far from him. delete all his contacts and ignore any emails or communication from him. That;s the way to save your own head oh, eh hen. I don talk my own.
well ma dear, first of all you should be familiar with the saying "what God has put together, let no man put asunder" he would never in a million years leave his wife for you, he is the hit and run person. your situation isn't the first cos i'm a youth's counsellor at ma school. you need to try and delete him off your contacts and go out with friends and meet not find someone new cos you saying you want to find someone new is only deceiving your pretty self.
Second, you r partly to blame for leading him on, going to visit when you knew clearly he wanted something from you. i suggest the next time he calls stand your ground and tell him you r not interested cos believe me you, if you keep going at this with him when you get married you would experience 10times of what he is doing to his wife.
,
As a woman who is in love with a married man (who dsnt really care about me) I wld say I understand ur feelings.
I understand what it feels like whn u call him or txt hm n he dsnt pick ur calls,call bk or rply ur txt msgs.How u feel like a complete idiot n promse urself never 2 contact hm again bt whn he calls u,u frgt all those promises u made and continue making a fool of urself.Hmm.
I dnt ve any advice 4 u.I'm jst saying I understand.I identify with u.
Young lady,I don't mean to b rude but blunt...dat he's six yrs older doesn't make him more matured or u less matured Dan u she b...in d first place u knew dat being with him was a no-no yet u went ahead...now he's dumped u cos obviously he was using u to catch feelings while his wife was preggoes..n u r all upset n feeling used..honey u let ur self b used...a word of advice:MOVE ON!! Dat ship has sailed n never coming back n if it ever does, its just to make u sink deeper..delete him from all sources n if u meet him in future which u will eventually,treat him like family or avoid him like a plague...dis is a no issue d answers r obvious...n don't forget?.. FAMILY WILL ALWAYS B FAMILY n oh! KARMA IS A BITCH N MORE!
woww,girl ur situation is pathetic,since u nw kn he used u to satisfy his sexual prowess,d best tin 4u to do now is pick urslf together n forge ahead.tk it as part of those mistakes of life and move on.except u wanna be labelled a home wrecker.hopefully u will find ur own man who isnt already taken.
Let him go. He was just gonna use you for sex and nothing more.
My question has got to be 'How old are you' that way i'd know how best to address the situation. But as getting the answer to that wud be a little far fetched let me go ahead and give you my two cents. You should never have gone there, period!! His a married man and from get go the alarm bells rang loud and clear but you chose to ignore them. He chose to contact you which was fine, but you indulged him. You should have put an end to it when he made he's advances. Men know the trick to get a chic is to tell her what she wants to hear, make her feel like she's the only one in the world. Sooner or later, she falls like a pack of cards. If he was single then oh! by all means have a party and do whatever. Were you expecting him to leave her for you? or maybe carry on with the affair till you were ready to end it? I'm not quite sure what you wanted out of all this. But anyway i'm sure you've learnt your lesson!
ach! go and get a man young woman and stop making noise here!
hey babe,if u haven't slept with him u are one of the luckiest girls on earth. pack your load and run for your life before its too late .trust me it inst worth it.there are many other single guys out there that can give u the same or even better attention and affection you feel you are getting from this guy.Hes married and he can never be yours.shut him out and move on he is no good cos you are the one who would loose at the end of the day.
how do i know??
i once once like you naive and now i am on the forth married man.its like an addiction once you start you begin to think married men are the best for you even though you know what you are doing its very wrong. some days ,he tells you how much he likes u and cant be without u (he actually means u are really good at working his hmm hmm),telling you to send pictures and meet up somewhere. that's all u can get .HE CAN NEVER BE YOURS .he wouldn't risk his marriage for you.leave him alone
i have tried so hard to move on but its been really difficult.still trying.its not good for you emotionally and sadly many girls are were you and i are right now but cant accept the truth.
God help us all cos it aint easy.
You suppose know na...You shouldn't fall for a married man. Guess you've learnt your lessons right. And don't try to fall for another again!
You need to stay away from him and stick to that. He is married with a child and u will alwayz be the " outsider" i'm sure thats not what you want for yourself.
U r a piece of shit how can u do that to ur cousin
Hi, first and foremost, you wouldn't loose your mind. Love, Lust, infatuation or whatever feeling you have for him will soon pass away. You knew from day 1 that nothing good will come out of this and deep within, you know the best move (fleeing). All you now need to do is stop self deception and do what you have to do, WALK AWAY! If he has the guts to question you, for ignoring him, in front of his wife and kid, then you can worry about him, if he doesn't then he isn't worth your time. Were you used? Maybe, but then that is life. We all make mistakes, some worse than yours, but we don't dwell in our mistakes and have learnt to face our fears. For him to be interested in you, you sure are beautiful and deserve someone better. Wish you all e best.
Hmmmm....gurl, u beta stop b4 u hurt urself even more. Its just wrong, he's married & to ur cozin whtr close or distant, blood is blood. D guy just wanted to getdown on u nothing more. Abeg leave dirty for mad man to carry...leave whiled sun still shines *waka pass*
This is Africa not America and we don't tolerate adultery. See how she is explaning like it's a normal thing.
My dear wake up from your slumber!!! You have just been used and dumped! face reality he just used u all the while his wifey was pregnant..... on the other hand he might have " liked" you ( your physical appearance as you stated) but ask yourself this question...Is this the kind of life you want to live? Guys na wao for una and babes that listen to you guys are indeed.....SMH
Miss D, hmm.....where do I start?! You crossed 2 lines that should never be crossed.
1) you knowingly got involved with a married man.
2) you knowingly got involved with a relative's spouse!
My dear I do not have any sympathy at all. You've made a whip for your own back so deal with it!
The only thing you can realistically do is cut off all communication with him and sort out your emotions.
Do unto others as you would have them do to you.
I no fit shout!
Take a chair and siddon jare, you dont have any problem. You dont wish someone well by attempting to take her husband and you want everything to be well with you?
pls....stay away 4rm him...delete him...dnt pick his calss.....runnnn..nd wen d tym comes u ll meet d right man......
men u r a mugu, ode as u called yasef... pls wld u lk if sm1 does d same 2 u by takin ur man. I believe u will soon settle dwn God will give u sb better 4 u tk heart ...Ndo...Am not judgin u, am jst givin u an advice....
Deep within you, you know the right thing to do so do it. To start with, he was your COUSIN's husband at the time you started seeing him. That alone should have put you off after discovering he was the kind of man that could cheat on his wife with not just anyone but her COUSIN!! Anyway, there is no need blaming you now. Cut him out of you life completely. Eliminate any sentimental attachments you have towards him and disregard his calls and messages. God frowns at women who go after marriend men and you do not want to incure His wrath. Do not feel like you were used (even though it is apparent you were). Just move on and linger on no more! Such men are not worth your time of day, seriously!! It might be hard but trust me, you gotta do what you gotta do before you get yourself in a disastrous situation. Take care.
That is exactly how heartless men cud be. Always looking 4 substitutes wen their wives are carring d load dey(men) put in them. Gurl i fink u hav got d ans already, he was neva in d market, so den y should u purchase? 4 me, dat is FRAUD. As 4 ur feelings? i cud help u wit dat, jst tel me hw to reach u
silly girl. why are u women all fish brains? Tomorrow u will do the same thing...what were you expecting when you posted a 'sultry' image of yourself on BB? Abeg go siddon...
The honest truth is that you have fallen hook line and sinker to his tricks. The guy is a cheat and a stinky one at that...cheatn on his wife with her cousin...the best thing to do is to ask God for forgiveness and move on...the earlier you get him off your mind the better for you..Try to avoid further contact with him through mails, pings or anyfin that links him to you...u have to be strong and ask God for strength to overcome your weakness.And im sure you will be fine at the end...
He's married...whether its to a relative or not, a married man is always off limits. I'm not really sure what advice you want. Your words indicate that you knew hooking up with him was wrong, whether it was an emotional or physical affair. You need to preserve your heart and to do so I suggest a complete END to all communication from him. He has a wife and a new baby to occupy his time, ask yourself what you have and what you are preventing yourself from having from continuing this.
He only hard advantage of u while d wife was not able to satisfy is sexual urge. U got a life to live.
Adeola
YOU ARE A FOOL!
Mumu, get yourself together and move on with your life. Nothing good can ever come out of this. He's family and worst still married. To get out of this, get your cousin's BB pin and invite her to join your conversation any time he Bbs' you again and that will curtail or stop him from pestering you again.
I think your right, you need to move on. I had a distant cousin who tried to do the same thing. Yes he was an attractive young man, but i knew it was wrong. You have to tell them from the get go that your not interested. I think its funny how you posted a cute pic of yourself, and now he's interested in you, more then just being friends. why not before? Men are funny, i say move on there's plenty of guys you'll meet in your lifetime, and one of those guys will be your perfect match. P.S. He's a married man, think if his wife found out. Your name would be a disgrace in the community. Hoped I helped.
calling u a bitch woudnt hurt u cos u knw u r 1,,erm a fool,prolly ur surname,note 1 tin karma neva looses an address,liv dat family alone..
by topsy
You have the answer what you are asking. He is simply randy and has to feel loved during the period his wife was pregnant. He found solace in ur company and the unfortunate thing is you are the end looser.blank him off and forget him. Your cousin won't find it funny if she finds out. And if possible avoid family functions where u cld meet him till the feeling eases off. He is a teaser so stay away from him.
Move on girl, the guy is family and worst still married. How to get him off your back? Get his wife your cousin's BB pin and invite her to join in your chat with him any time he BBs' you. He would have to explain to his wife how he got your BB pin and did not even mention it to her.
Let go!
It was wrong from the one set.
He is simply using you,to satisfy his lust.
When and if your cousin finds out, it will cause a family strife and all the fault would be laid at your feet, because the man can say, you were the one that seduced him, and his wife would believe him!
NIGERIAN MEN CAN LIE!
DELETE ALL CONTACTS ASAP. FIND SOMEONE ELSE.
Your story, implied, you did not have sex with him, hence he ushered you out, BUT at the last paragraph you talked of him using you to satisfy his sexual desires??
More went down, than what you are telling us. All the same,it was a betrayal on both of your sides!
So what do you want us to do for you? CONSOLE YOU, WITH STORIES FROM OTHER PEOPLE, SO THAT YOU WON'T FEEL BAD AND SAY, YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE ON THE BOAT? gosh! i call it guilty ride babe!
my dear...u can't still be flirting wit d wrong man nd expect d right man 2 show up....close his door..nd open d door 2 d right one...4 christ sake...dis guy is ur sis hubby///do u even tink u re d only lad he does dis to......am sure dere re several...u were just vulnerable.....hes nt a decent or responsible guy...runnnn!!!!!!!!
even if his wife is not ur cousin, u shldnt have such affairs with a married man. wht u have done is really disgraceful and its a betrayal to women. and she is ur cousin!!! ders no need for condemnation sha.
u have d chance to retrace ur steps and make amends.at least u hv acknowledge ur wrong.dnt make d mistake again.
hes married and living his life.dnt be his occasional hubby.
peace!
even if his wife is not ur cousin, u shldnt have such affairs with a married man. wht u have done is really disgraceful and its a betrayal to women. and she is ur cousin!!! ders no need for condemnation sha.
u have d chance to retrace ur steps and make amends.at least u hv acknowledge ur wrong.dnt make d mistake again.
hes married and living his life.dnt be his occasional hubby.
peace!
U figured it out for urself!! He used u to assuade his sexual desires while his wife ws preggers! Too bad u fell for it but its neva to late to count ur loss
My advise for u is just dat u av to forget about him completely so dat u dont ruin ur cousin's life
Its neva too late to count ur losses n move on. Most of all i hope u learn a very good lesson from dis. Dnt mess wit marryd men least of all a family member. It jus makes u look cheap n see finish factor enters.
3 things to say:
1. What were you thinking?!?
2. From the 'dirty' relationship- what was your gain? House, Land, N20m in account...What?!? Love doesn't exist in this kinda 'affair'MUMU
3. What next?!? Move on!
C'est la vie.
...Phibz.
The thing is I can tell you how you've messed up and how i think the first mistake you made was to start chatting with him on bb regularly knowing he is married to your cousin but as ladies we all have found ourselves in this types of mess. The picture is of what is right and wrong is always clearer from afar but when we get closer, we tend to ignore all the red lights. It's good that you've finally realised that you should cut ties with him and yes all those questions you asked yourself are the answers. Yes, you were merely someone he used to lay of steam while his wife was pregnant, etc. Don't for a second think you were the only one and you wouldn't be his last either etc. Trust me he doesn't love you because it would show in his actions and not his words. So what if you meet him later in life, you do not owe him anything or answers to questions. Don't ever let yourself feel like he has any power over you because you are not his or vice-versa.
I think you should just get yourself a life...get busy with work, positive friends, maybe a boyfriend and try as much as possible to avoid and ignore him..he ain worth it and wasn't in the first place.
'Recently, I’ve been feeling like a piece of shit. I feel like I was used to appease his sexual desires while his wife was pregnant.'.... Did u sleep with him or not? Cos dis sentence contradict ur hotel undies sentence when he usher u out after u told him u couldn't go on... We need to get it straight befor help can be rendered to u. If u slept wit him, sorry if u didn't then u should move on
,
In a situaion like this, i do not blame the man at all. because most men are dog...but all blame goes to you young lady, how can you allow yourself to be fooled by a married man. i think women, who date married men, have self esteem issue..there are thousands of young men out there...you coming here and asking people for advice, clearly shows us that you still love him, becos i don't know what kind of advice you are looking for.you want us to advice u on how to block him from ur email, bb, and other means of communication y'll had? you know the right thing to do..so do it..not judging you, bt u really deserve a slap on the face..karma is a bitch
my dear the head of ur cousin and the children will purnish u,stupid girl...if i catch u i will ask my DOG to do the same....lack of home training...next pls
my dear the head of ur cousin and the children will purnish u,stupid girl...if i catch u i will ask my DOG to do the same....lack of home training...next pls
Linda, you should consider writing novels for a living LOL.
I'm in the same fucking situation as you only mine is not married. But let's face it, the facts are there staring right in your face! How come his pings became frequent after you put up a 'sultry' picture? Why did he ask u to get out when you told him you culdnt hav sex? Clearly that's all he's after and when he's done he'll dump you so fast it ll make ur head spin.
Lucky for you you havnt had sex yet or it wld be a lot worse trust me. Its a good thing u deleted him off ur bbm(I wish I had the courage to do that) anyways that's the first step. U need to STAY AWAY from this guy! Like RUNNN he's nothing but bad news and the more distance u put between urslf nd him the more ul heal. Time heals everything D and with time ul forget him. If u keep focusing on him ur failing to put urself out there for ur own guy to come sweep u off ur feet. I know its hard but with time ul forget him trust me. What u need to do now is focus on the thngs that make u happy, hang out with ur frnds a lot more, eat lots of ice cream nd chocolate, go clubbn just do thngs, anything! to take ur mind off him.. Set a goal nd focus on achieving that goal. As for what you'l say when u see him and if u ever see him again, when the time comes you wld know just what to say to him. He's a stupid jerk anyway *rme* You ll be fine..we all wld be fine at the end of the day.
No need to be so hateful now, she's realised she was foolish, as tiny as it seems u should encourage her to move in the right direction. We all fall! But we getup and that's thats
SINGLE GIRLS IN AMERICA ARE always so DESPERATE and end up being used by any man WHO ISNT EVEN WORTH THEIR SALT...GIRL U NEEED TO EXPAND UR SOCIAL NETWORKS, AND FIND URSELF UR HUSBAND STOP BEING STUPID AND FOOLISH...ARE U THAT DESPERATE....HOPE WIFE FINDS OUT AND POURS HOT OIL ON YOU.....AS ONE OF THE POSTS SAID DID YOU GET 20 MILLION NAIRA OR LAND IN UR NAME IF NOT U ARE A COMPLE MUGU!!! GET A LIFE!!!
I feel really bad for you, I once fell in love with a married man and once I decided to get rid of him, it wasnt easy. But let me tell you, theres a curse that comes with it. God dealt with me very well, and dealt with him very well too, individually. So prepare yourself. At that time I was young and now I know better. I am hoping you are not 25 and above cos if not, then your own is stupidity. To make it worst dont think your cousin will never find out,she will. So prepare for that too. Grow up and get over your feelings, that man dont and never gave a damn about you. AND you are right you are a non factor to him. Find someone that you will be a plus too. Good luck.
Hey! Ladies like deceit and most times you allow men to deceive you because if you are told the truth they know they might loose you. TRUTH IS BITTER! But it's better to be told than be caught lying, then you loose respect. Ladies beware of Guys or Men with flattering words!
I wonder sometimes when Ladies run after married men, let them imagine such happening to their husband when they are married too, can they tolerate such? IF NO then why date another Woman's Husband? LADIES (ARISTO GIRLS) STOP GOING AFTER PEOPLE'S HUSBANDS... Lady here, Life goes on step up and stay clean. One of the greatest mistake people make is fooling oneself. DON'T FOOL YOURSELF
Don't mind d fool.. Upon her folly she is also a liar.. D guy don damage u.. I can image hw he devoured u cos u were just a mere sex object to him.. Idiot gurl.. U mess up instead of u to admit it u r here lying to ur LIB family.. Y would u b feeln so bad and desperate if he Neva play wiv ur shangolo.. Foolish girl.. U dey visit am for im hotel suite and nofin of sexual nature transpired.. U bof got down to ur undies and u said no.. Which kind story b dis.. D guy knack u apako and not just once.. U b ode like u called urself.. Kip pinging him.. U no get shame.. U must b a junkie.. Nwanne NUELLA.. People fins dey sweet una.. Ndi oshi!!!
Feel ur pain, buh which wld u prefer to break things off now or to hope sumfin continues n later get d wrath of the aftermath of things from God n ur family?...Break it off, u wont die!
I think it really bores down to what women want. This young lady has answers to her own questions but then beautiful fleshy desires. I have more questions that can serve as answers; 1 What does she really want? (A defined relationship that would lead to marriage to come from an already married man?)
2 Did she see a future or she has not thought about it? (And later on complain all men are bad when the signs were on the wall)
3 Why didnt she go through with sleeping with him? (Was it her deciding to finally reason?)
4 What's her relationship life like? (Is she attractive enough to command attention from other guys and if she is why hasn't another guy come up?)
5 Is her question what to do really or that she is scared? (No one needs to tell her what to do, she could enjoy what she is enjoying and see how happy it makes her down the line)
I read some comments that women face such issues regularly, but maybe I am missing something, I am of the opinion that we create our destinies and shapen our lives by the decisions we make, strong women develop principles that form the basis of their lives and their relationships, if you as a woman cannot get hold of your life and define your relationships someone else will do it for you - example the dude that can come in and out her life at will even though he has a wife. I have more to say but this should do for now.
you mean you actually sat down and typed this?
If this happened once, i could understand but continually?Girl you need psychiatric help.
People like you end up sleeping with their siblings.
Let me tell you one simple stuff.Whatever you do in this life, if you seek a reason for it and seek for it hard enough you shall find. There is no excuse for getting it on with your brother-in-law.you are lucky you did not sleep with him. What part of don't fall in love with family don't you understand?
hmmmm...I think the advise you are seeking to get won't be gotten from people who comment on LIB cos 80% of them are mean hypocrites who don't give a ratass.
Everybody keeps saying you are lucky he didnt rape you , I want to understand why it pained you so much for you to put it on LIB if you didnt sleep with him ? I am very sure you had a boyfriend when you met this guy but you left that part out so you wont look bad to us , its all good , you deserve what you got , everybody gets their own piece of the pie , your mates were looking for boyfriends , you went on a search for married men , because there is no way you will do that if you never desired it , we are all human and we make mistakes , but to be honest with ourselves , there is no mistake we have made that our minds didnt tell us at some point that it was wrong , but it was our choice to go on with it .
look at them all and their thoughts, saints like they ve never committed greater wrong doing. Anyway fine girl, let me have ur pin and i SHALL help you forget him so fast, plus am available. lol
ladojalanre
Linda,this story had better be true and not ur fabrication to get comments,cos I don't want to waste my talent!
Firstly,I will like to let her know that you are very CRAZY and the fact that you want advise means you are not well yet!
Ole,olojukokoro, a ri ogun ologun fokan bale!omo oshi buruku (Sorry,had to abuse her in yoruba).
Thank ur stars that I am not your cousin,I would have thrown caution to the wind and beaten the hell out Of u.
That said,I will like to inform yoU that you are a very useless person and you deserve all the treatment ure getting from him now!
What the hell were u thinking???or not thinking??? Cos u obviously do not have sense.
Did u think or were u praying that he leave his wife (ur cousin) for u???
U Jezebel!!!
My candid advice,go pray for forgiveness and stAy the hell awAy from ur cousin's husband and every other married man sef.
Confused bat oshi!
Your nightmare has just begun and I beLieve they are following u from your villAge.
Long hiss!
BABE
Only God can help you in this case ...i cant believe you would no come and seek advice from this blog, knowing fully well that the majority of these comments would do noting but depress you the more.
YOUR WRONG..point, blank , period. no atom of remorse can even be gotten from your essay, so im very sure your going to do...'what your heart tells you to do'
BUT if you have any sense left, please delete this guy from every avenue, lane or street in your life.. Give him no more room to enter bikonu.
Secondly its obvious you watch Basketball wives...PLEASE STOP, as some one like you needs to be watching Braxton Family Values or the new Mary Mary show coming out.
Lastly, as mentioned earlier..,.please go and pray, ask God to forgive YOU, to give you the grace to forgive yourself and to take away your shame.
i wonder how you would feel if it was done to you remeber what goes round comes round and the cain they use to flog the 1st wife will wait for you down stairs nonsense and ingredient abeg make she park for corner jor rubbish.....
Believe me , your cousin will find out and its the same "motherfucker" that will tell her , she will end up forgiving him and will never forgive you.
if the Beast complimented Beauty long enough with attention and time she would fall for him, its just a matter of time and it is what it is, that being said,Okay, let me spell it out ....HE IS UR COUSIN's HUSBAND !!! and as such you cannot win at all, whether he was true or not, it wouldnt have paid off anyway you look at it, sliced,minced or diced.You see , men/women will always play and there will be a 'played'. in this case u were played, accept it and move on. In a while,another player will lie to you and you will be the ODE again and fall for him, somewhere along the line, he will sit and think of how much meaning you bring to his life and all the lies will become true for both of you, he will commit and then you will have the man you've always dreamt of and you will live happily ever after ...... with a lot of real life issues. but to get that, tell the bozo married to your family to take a very loooong Hike in any opposite direction from you and dat includes calls,BBM's, Skype and whatever type gadget that used to connect you two........Safe
u are an obvious fool.... men will be men he was only using u to warm his bed cos his wife was pregnant and not sexually active,.......note this u wud be married someday and one random chick will do the same to you........
He is using you simple ......
What kind of nonsence is this? Of course YOU know within yourself that this guy is a player. RUN, and if he still pesters you, tell him off!And please aviod your cousins home whenever you come to Nigeria. This guy is a serious unrepentant Cassanova
i think you should get something else to occupy you that way you can move past him and dont give him the listening ear or threaten to tell because it will turn him on more n he will b persistent and na you as a woman the shame go fall on.ignore what eva messages he sends...your DELETE button should b ur bestfriend during this period n wen u get to meet physically,look thru him.... shikena!
Am sure there is one small boy begging this gal that she is doing yanga for... later women will say man no dey town...
Cut him off completely my dear, it may be hard but it is for the best. You need to ask for God's mercy too to be able to move on with your life. All the best
You are a BOMBASTIC ELEMENT. bOMFOOL. Home wrecker di ka gi. Onye ara. Abeg Linda, remove this nonsense post from your blog
Girls like u shld be given divine punishment, u are an obvious fool... My dear get prepared, men will be men, men cheat and are all the same, one der wife are pregnant and are not dat sexually active, dey look for the nearest vulnerable plantain chips (you) to satisfy their sexual urges, that is what he just did to you, he used you, my dear take a look @ d mirror and see how worthless you look and feel, he cnt marry you, he cnt leave his wife, he cnt leave his kids, he cnt give u d happiness you desire, he is married and has a loving family he runs home to everyday, men cheat for variety, he was also humping other girls while he was fucking you, u shld be ashamed of urself dat u shld sleep wit ur cousins husband, wat did d bible tell u about temptation? It said u shld flee from tmeptation, wen he started making advances and u knw fully well he is ur cousins husband, u didn't nid d devil to slap u to gain ur senses and delete him or block him in wateva way thru d privacy settings of ur application, hw much does a sim cost change ur line and b bold enuf to stand off an put him off, karmar is a bictch girl, what goes around comes around, am suffering it now, I dated a married man while I was single, now I am married and my husband is doinbg the same I am emotionally stricken but I ave to deal with it, karma is a fucking bitch!!!
All of u condemning her, swear dat u haven't don't worse things,mschewwwwww. She asked for ur advise n judgement. Ode people
Blackberry wahala...
i'll need u to stop acting all naive and innocent in this whole dilemma; like u didn't know what u were gonna get involving urself with a married man. He went back to his WIFE and u are feeling used and betrayed? Are u serious?! GTFOH! U expected him to keep sharing his time with u and wifey? U're the selfish, ruthless one here. This is ur own freaking cousin mayne! How dare u? The guy is a jackass and i'm not even gonna justify his jackassery with a commenting. But since u wanted us to give u a feed back, u need to realize that u were dead wrong, u were not deceived, u were not used, u were not betrayed. U got yo azz involved in this ish....and u are even more selfish for feeling left alone now.
U must not be getting frequent compliments from dudes, because for u to fall so cheaply for ur own in-law because he told u that u're beautiful and special....seriously? Na today? So every dude that hollas and tells u a bunch of sweet nothings u give a time of day to?
I am also happy that he disrespected u when u told him u couldnt go far with him (btw, i think u have already slept with him)....he showed u u were nothing but a whore who he basically wants to have a fling with, and homegirl is over here catching feelings! LMAO! Like, are u serious? When karma comes back to hunt ur own marriage tommorrow now, u will start acting all brand new.
U already know what to do...so get out of here with that mess abeg!
Separate d offence frm d offender ... All of u insulting her , she dnt ask for ur cause , she ask for ur advice , she dnt ask for u cause , she asked for u advice n u r causing her ... How ll she charge ... B very mature n advice her ... If dnt ask for u advice n she was caught in d act u ll d abuse her na she don dey ask una n una dey cause her ... If u daughter come for ur advice na cause u go dey cause with good advice
I am, the no Sender.
Hi. I'm sure you know this site well enough that you'll be getting and already gotten sharp and even stinging abuses and condemnation from persons who have probably done worse than you or are already on the path to doing worse than you've done.
This is life. Ignore their holier than thou comments here ok? There are few women here or out there who wouldn't fall to the charms of a man who knows how to complement a lady and does it consistently too. Did you know he was married? Yeah you knew. But we all know that life at times can be exciting when you are likely to be caught doing wrong. I am not going to be blaming that fella cause you had the will in you to stop what happened nor be saying much in terms of advice cause many good natured folks here have already downloaded to you practical, simple and sound advice as well as wisdom. If I were you, I'd take them and make something of my life and just move on. It's not even impossible that some of those advice may be coming from your cousin right here on this blog. Yeah, it's just possible. She might even have read this and not know it's her this is all about.
About the main thing you want. The truth really is that you are not exactly and subconsciously too, looking for advice. You do know the right thing to do, you do and it's clear from your post. I think it's your female ego that's been burst that troubles you. Perhaps you've never felt or experienced this level of rejection and so you're really really hurt.
Are you a Christian? If yes, go to God with a contrite heart and ask for forgiveness. Cry out to him as you really feel and simply then repent. In faith move on and believe you've been forgiven. Then follow all the practical advice given you here on distancing yourself from the dude. Also, don't go acting as if he's got a hold on you cause he doesn't except you want him to.
As for him, his day will come and sooner than you know it. Just help save your cousin's marriage by staying away from the adulterous fellow. That's all you can do.
Evidently u can't read... She said she hasn't had sex wit him, luckiily she was able to stop.. Dullard.. Try t read and understand her predicamnet. When u r able to do that, then u can start feeling superior
Alley cat and Onome pls take it wasy abeg.SStop the whole insult crap and u Onome,u say u get husband?That man must be miserable cos ur mouth stinks from the words that come out from them.Go and brush.
As much is this stroy is true n i c n hear it everyday ,,,, Y do I hv this feeling that Linda made this story up ... So we can discuss it n share To keep d blog going ... Trust me Linda na business woman ... Dnt b fooled o
Recently, I’ve been feeling like a piece of shit. - you should
I feel like I was used to appease his sexual desires while his wife was pregnant. - you were
All the compliments and sweet things were just a ploy to get me exactly where he wanted.- Yes they were
I also feel like he played on my naivety as he is an older (6yrs) man. - yes he did and you played urself too
I feel so easy - well, you werent just easy, you were very jezebellish. this means you can sleep with ur father if he finds attractive and syas nice thns to you.
I feel like he sees me as a ‘non (motherfucking) factor.- yes he did.
Someone he can pick up and drop whenever he likes. This has made me lose focus on what’s important in my life. - eeeyaaaaaa
I sometimes feel so annoyed, like he has his beautiful wife, he’s beautiful child and a lovely home -he is blessed.
and here I am, no gain- and if you continue, you will lose even the one you have
How could I allow myself to fall for this nigga, knowing full well that he was never on the market?
- you were possessed by the demon of lust & jezebel
but guess what, it is not you feeling this and that, it is the holy spirit uiding you. next time he calls you, tell him you will report to his wife and confess everything.if he dares you, call his wife and tell her to say hi to her husband and you have gist for both of them later.
@fearless u dnt want to waste ur talent ... Which is causing d girl aka advicing her
This is to pple causing ... U r given an opportunity to advice someone n thus is all u hv to say ... Ask ur selves ll u comment help her or not ... Ask ur selves if God ask u abt this girl that came for advice ll u tell God that u rili impacted her life with life charging words ... If u r her last chance , d last person she spoken ll ur words help her frm not killing herself n lastly ask ur selves wht ll Jesus do in this situation ... Remember to sepreate d offence frm d offender
My dear, first of all, delete all and everything dat has to do with him... i will not judge u at all in dis mata cos Jesus once said: He who is without sin, let him be d first to cast the stone: Secondly, from now on, please note that married men are not to be dated......they ve wives at home... just like u will become one day. thirdly, please look inwards and call up that strength every woman has- its somewhere down dere- just look for it, dust urself up,hold ur head up high and move on to a better place and a better life. u deserve a young and single man who ll make u a wife someday...... remain blessed.
Chei, see what sin has ushered into ur life. An atheist too is cursing u! Better go and seek Gods face sharp sharp and stop setting fire on ur future and destiny
my dear the head of ur cousin and the children will purnish u,stupid girl...if i catch u i will ask my DOG to do the same....lack of home training...next pls
come this girl (whoever you are) you dont have ba? plsss Linda give us news that will thrill us.....mschewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
girl please delete this guy from your memory. And go ask baba God for forgiveness. What you just did is a sin which God frowns at. You cant hide behind infatuation to destroy your life. That guy is devil sent. He means no good and he is as useless as he portrayed himself. If he is six yrs older than you and he had no sense not to go after you, then he is not even fit to be married to a decent lady. He will sleep with you then go back to your cousin to sleep with her with the same instrument. May God punish him seventy times seven times. And you, whatever gave you the impression that you have a future with this guy or were you doing it for the fun of it. because I know that soon enough you will begin to sing another song of him abandoning you for his wife. You will want him for yourself alone. Were you praying that he will divorce your cousin and come to you. You brain must be in recess.
Even if the guy isnt related to you, wouldnt you weigh the pros and cons before going head first into a relationship? This is why guys feels and think they can have any girl they desire because babes just cant think beyond sex. They think they can get whatever they want with sex. Why would a girl go through all the trouble of getting entangled in an emotional triangle of dating a married man. All these babes offer is sex. Some of them cant even cook. So my advice to wives is to go for extra mural lesson on sex so as to keep your man. But some low lives and never-do-wells will still go out cos of ego. So they boast of the number they have bedded.
Girl run, run , run. OLOJUKOKORO.
@ Momen, we shouldn't judge her abi? Cuz you've been a slut who was shagging a married man in the past abi? So this is Deja vu for you, not? Mschewwwwwwwwww.
I can't even believe people are advising someone who knows EXACTLY what to do. I think this slut just wanted to feel better with the various comments. Effing attention seeker. I jus had my home broken because of women like you and I pray thunder and fire upon you kind each second of the day... Dysfunctional bitch
And to add to my last comment... Did you say 6 years older than you are or na hunger jus dey turn my eye? Oh yeah, na hunger. I think I see 60 years older now. Cuz I for fear o. 6 years older than you come mean say e old like that???? Puleeez! This girl needs to come down to Warri for some schooling!
it was a fling. Laugh cos it happened, no ill feelings move on, and if you can handle it, look back often and take another bite. No grudge. you an adult, he is too. be careful though
I'm just gonna say what you did was wrong.like so wrong! Why would you CHEAT with a MARRIED MAN?! like seriously!....I'm done here ...and goodluck. May God forgive u!
all of u dt are condenming her,you prob havent been in dt position before,so until youve been there,dont say shit.My dear,if the guy can hit on you,his wife's cousin,he is seriously cheating on her.even if hes nt sleeping with you,he probably has other women.My advice is that you keep yourself busy,go out with friends,get your friends dt are either married,engaged or in a serious relationship to hook u up with their partners friends.do all this to erase the man out of your head.
ASHEWO OSHI ... WHAT ADVICE DO YOU NEED OTHER THAN THE MAN IS MARRIED....STUPID ASHEWO.... AHN HAN NO SHAME.. WHAT STUPID FEELING HAVE YOU ACCUMULATED.... ASHEWO... LOOSE PROSTITUTE ???
STUPID ASHEWO OSHI
U most be a flirt for even allowing urself to be a playtoy. How could u do such a thing to ur cousin. anu ofia mmadu.
90% of the people that have commented on this post are self-righteous cunts and pricks!!! Y'all need to get of your self-righteous asses and get with the mudafuckin program!!! Y'all seat on ur high horses casting insults and aspersions on this poor woman just to make urselves feel good whereas most of you do worse in your closets! Abeg KMT joor!!!
babes u re a bigg FOOL!! ahn ahn ur cousin's hubby ... asin serzly no mata wat married men shuld be off limit ... we women sha we so wicked hurtin eachoda like dis .. bbz u re a slut GET UR ACT 2GTDA FAST FAST N DELETE HIMM OFF UR LIFE ABEG...cos u wouldnt wat d same thin done to you if u were married ooooo.. shioooo RUBBISH .....
Don't keep yourself, the mistake has been done. All you av to do just has many have said, Ask God for forgiveness and mercy"Psalm 51" and pray to God that your mistake doesn't catch up with you in the future. Try has much as possible to disconnect every link you av with him. Don't jump into another relationship immediately, cos u aint in the right frame of mind. May God help u.
@ X
Listen up girl! If you went into that relationship lookin for some physical release or attention, dats aight...it dosnt make it right cos he belongs to another woman, but at least it means that you have your head screwed on right and you'll probably get bored at some point and move on. However, if you were hoping he'll leave his family to be with you, get over yourself!You aint that good! It will NEVER happen!!! Besides, even you would not be able to cope with the drama that follows. I'm glad you figured out that you were only a place holder. If you are truly over this guy, get back in the social circuit and start dating someone else. With time you'll forget him...Goodluck.
Fair enough! you didnt know you were related to him. Listen girl! i dont know you but damn girl you can do way way better. he is just a greedy ass man. what made you think he wasnot even cheating on your cousin with another woman (excluding you). Men like that you need to poor boiliong oat on their face and hit them continously with a fry pan. It a good thing you have a far away from him but before you meet him next time make sure you have occupied yourself with something to distract you away form him. its not easy which is understandable but.. find another man or something one that you will ride and die with then you wouldnt have to9 be caught up in the nonsense. and the next time he is all over you tell him you are gonna tell his wife whereas you have nothing to lose, you didnt know her for 18yrs and u 2 arent that close but he has everything to lose. blackmail him or something and start a new life. Bare in mind that his wife will catch him cheating one day and you dont want the girl to be you. focus on something else!
This man did not dupe you, he showed you that he only wanted you for sex and you wholeheartedly accepted. Let's forget that your cousin is involved, cause that does not bother you. You need to get a heavy dose of self-respect. Stop bothering the man and you will get over him. Later, you will open your mouth and say you were hurt by a man when you are the one that has out yourself in trouble...willingly. Linda, please be screening your letters. This girl knows what to do, she is just looking for someone to say the man wronged her. The man is no good and you are no good and air headed (sorry for the insults please). When a man walks you out of his room for not going the distance (although I get a sense that you are lying about that), what does that mean to you eh girl? Please take a seat over ----> and get some sense about yourself #nosympathyhere.
Omo I am not without sin but haba, make una check this one. Abi is this what you women are doing out there these days. Saying a married man that used and dumped you led you on. Biko, commot with that rubbish. I am not saying you can not become attracted to someone but you have been given the ability to control your emotions. You are a higher animal with self control, acknowledge it, chuck it up that you have been used, embrace self control and use it next time. Women stop being stupid with these men, a married man wants you for your body. Please we see these stories too much...are you all that easy. This is why married men will forever cheat, there are too many careless women out here thinking he will leave his wife. If he does, how secure will you be in your home knowing your new man has no sense of discipline and devotion. Biko make una dey try reason small. I tire.
My dear u know the rules and u broke the #1 rule "thou shalt not mess around with family". u need to forget his ass, delete him from existence in ur mind and move on, meet new people and get over it.
And stop being such a soppy mumu and empower urself and pray your cousin never finds out or they will hold family meeting ontop ur home-wrecking ass.
@ Ayo, if u see as dis mata dey vex me eh. Imagine da lady seeking our advice after messing up & frolicking wif a man knowing fully well he is married 2 her own blood.Lady which kain advice u even wan make we profer? Da likes of u go about breaking up peeps relationships,marriages & home juzz like da case of dat LAME Director Tchidi.Make THUNDER no strike u Oo...juzz retrace ya movement & fuck off*talking in an angry tone*.I no blame u na Linda wey i blame 4 accepting nonsense & putting it up 4 us all her readers 2 aid ADULTERY.
dnt start what you cannot finish,u knew he was married from the begining.as everyone has said,change your sim if possible cos if you delete his number he's got yours and will continue to call you.....block him from your skype and yahoo and if you see him in the future threaten to report him to his wife if he continues to say rubbish....anyways you dulled big tym.
its sisters like you that give us women a bad name. How could u? dont u have moral scruples? This is ur inlaw for heavens sake even if he's the one that came on to you in the first place, you should have treated him like the 2 time loser he is and shunned him. But you had to taste the forbidden. now you feel like shit, like you rightly should. I'll advice you to purge this asshole out of ur system and go get urself a man who isn't someone else's. you dont need our advice you know the right thing to do.
Am glad u learnt few lessons though.. This is for all ladies never allow a married man to mess with you because he just wanna use you to satisfy his sexual fantasy.. change ur fone n number if possible,if u using tmobo that makes it easier just change ur area code and that's all.. And u need to have ur cousin's back even if u had not seen her in a long time.. Do you watch cheaters? LOL
its very easy to insult and judge some1 until you are in the situation. Girl all I would say is that you are emotionally tied to this person. The only way out is disconnect from him and keep yourself busy. At first he would think you are playing hard to get thus chasing you but if you threaten him saying if he doesn't leave you alone you will show all the family members all his messages (oviously deleating urs) and that he has been perstering you, he would definately back off.
It will take time, but time does heal wounds and one day you will laugh about this issue and see how useless and pathetic the idiot was.
As for you, move on with your life and find some1 worth it (single oviously). U have a second chance so dont take it for granted..trust i know cos i have been in similar situation b4.
That is a typical man for you my dear, they use you to satisfy their urge and the rest is history. I understand exactly what you are saying. been in similar conditions before. one thing you should know before messing arnd with a married man is that you will always be second, unless he is no longer with/seperated or not attached to the wife anymore. infact it is only an unwise person that would invest so much feelings into such a relationship. its ok to like the person but any other thing should have a limit. your best bet is to tell him off and move ahead. Tell him that this is exactly the way you want it and that you would appreciate that he respects your decision. you'ld even be shocked to know that you are not the only woman that he is possibly fooling arnd with. be wise and shine ur eyes!
some women sha! How can you invest feelings into a relationship that you obviously know will not go anywhere?! The sooner you move on and get rid of him, the better for you. Its virtually a hopeless situation. Did you ever think he would leave his wife or family for you? Hell NO!
But you are a mumu oh, you knew he was married yet you accumulated feelings for him. Sorry but I have to say it as it is. Forget about him, don't break a family up.
As man that believes in practical solutions, I offer to take you out this weekend. Let's hang out in Manhattan and "see what we can do" about it. It will be good distraction and I promise you will forget about him totally. Holla: two zero one seven seven one one one five five...txts prefered.
haba niger people...take it easy on the gal now..no one is perfect..he who is without sin should cast the first stone..oga o...Gal just forget the guy and move on in ur life...wish u all the best
this gal stupid desperate and can kill her own family for a man.HAte u die
My advıse 4u ıs sleep the hell out of the man...uld get closure!
And am so sure that out of the over 300 advıses here you'Wed 21 Mar 2012 pıck thıs,cos that ıs exactly what you want to do!
Wısh u all the luck ın the world. *huge grın*
Liar!you slept with him slut! Get a bf of ur own hot and smoking and move oonnnnn!
I really do hope that you get to read this comment cos ordinarily if I were you would probably have been discouraged by all the seemingly hateful like comments and mite not get to the 400th wish I had seen ds earlier, first things first the judging people its something I would have do but until you have walked the same shoes and acted better trust me you have no right to judge was even smiling when I read this cos ordinarily but for the fact that I went through the same experience recently and even yet to sort out the aftermath would have joined the club of judging people. Mine was with a single guy but the difference is that I am in a serious relationship abt to wed kind of oh my we had even done parents notification then met this guy he wasn't even finer or richer than my husband to be but won't lie to you felt some attraction for him that I had never felt for anyone before to the point that I started wondering if I had ever be attracted to husby to be forgetting that its a 5yrs relationship nd yes I am attracted to him, the foolishness continued to the extent that just like you I looked forward to his pings, was pratically chasing felt warmth when I saw him and would be vexing if I didn't hear from him, d foolishness continued to the extent that I told husby to be and was considering walking out from my relationship notwithstanding that the new guy hadn't even like said anything specific though it was mutual, you know how I eventually broke free because the truth is I knew it was foolish but I won't lie was just powerless against it, had to ask for his genotype cos I am of the genotype that can't maRry a specific genotype and immediately he told me he was of the type that I couldn't marry that was how I broke free but now I am left with the aftermath of repairing my relationnship and then I think of it now I feel nothing for d guy whom I had tot my feelings and passion for was insurmountable. First things first don't ever tell your cousin dts one baggage you don't want to carry true you are not close but she and some other family members would be seriously hurt. Secondly surround your self with trusted friend and even family members who can talk sense into your head I won't lie even after knowing about his genotype d foolishness still somewhat continued though on a lesser degree but I was only able to completely get free with serious though not bashing frank talk from a close friend my mother and another aunt, they would tell you things that would completely take you out of it. I hope I helped and wish you all the best cos trust me I know exactly what you are going through I have been there though I least expected such behaviour from me I am the prim and proper type so though it might seem unsurmountable now, it is and you just need your own catalyst for instance if he had aids wud u still continue of course not, it just some overpowering foolishness find your catalyst and then surround your self with good advice from friends and family to finally be yourself again.
So long.....
Okaay. Can everyone SHUT THE FUCK UP about her being useless? She came here to ask for help not to ask for criticism or to find out how worthless she is.
BABE, I have never been in your position and I will not judge you plainly because SHIT happens. I am in a similar position but we didn't get physical at all cos I wanted him to define what it was and now it seems like i'm begging too. I've decided to let it go.. Its been hard but i'm still trying! Just resist every form of contact with him. Im in the US too.. Email me if you want to talk and shit. Maybe we can go through this together. mimi_nil@yahoo.com
I have dated married men in times past. It seemed like a dangerous adventure, still i knew how wrong it was. You do too. Problem is entertaining any soft feeling for them,no matter how tiny. That's where it begins. It's unjustifiable, what makes it worse is that he's married to your cousin.
1. Block him completely on all possible social media avenues
2. You know you were wrong; convince yourself he's not worth your suffering
3. Think of his wife, your cousin. Get yourself to empathize with her for the wrong you have committed against her. You will then despise her husband
4. Ask for God's mercy and grace; decide all married men are devil's traps; no matter how attractive
You can do it. Many have overcome it. And you'll soon find your own personal man.
Take care.
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