Dear LIB readers: My past mistakes have caught up with me... | Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog

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Wednesday 16 September 2015

Dear LIB readers: My past mistakes have caught up with me...

From a female LIB reader
My story is a story from the heart. I was forced into marriage at the age of 15yrs to a man I never met and don't love. I tried so hard to love him, so hard but you could never force love. We had nothing in common. I'm a lively, fun and exciting human being. I never knew a woman can have orgasm till I started cheating on my hubby. I was frustrated,  depressed, angry with my life. After I had my 1st baby, I ran away but my dad brought me back. Same goes when I had my 2nd child. I wanted to kill my self because I was so unhappy. 
I started having an affair, from diff man to another, partying and having fun. Living my teenaged life that I was deprived hopping to find love nd also hopping my hubby will send me packing but he never did cos he afraid of ppl will say. 
 
To cut d story short. I was able to leave my hubby wit my kids  after 12 miserable life. Now i ve found love at last with a man that loves me so much. A man that that taught me all you need to be faithful woman is to be in love and to be loved. I can't imagine  any other man touching me I will rather die than let  it happen. I ve bin wit him for 7yrs and I ve bin with only him and no other.  He wants to marry me but his family and frids are against it. Said I will repeat same mistake I made in my 1st marriage wen I was young. How can I repeat my mistake at this my age knowing how much my man loves me. I don't want to loose this man, now am being given a chance to choose my past and mistakes has caught up with me. Am in turmoil. 
 
Pls If he was your brother or friend what advice would you give him. 
PS. Advice to parents, leave your children to make their choice on marriage. Give them the chance to fall in love. Give them the choice to make mistakes and to live their tennege life. 
I want to start  a foundation that say The choice Is Ours. 
Nobody have right to choose a partner for anybody no matter how old or young the person is.

93 comments:

Davido's driver said...

Take heart

seyi crown said...

This story is kinda funny to me





Seyilicious

BONARIO NNAGS said...

Phew! its quite a precarious situation you have found yourself. Many women have found themselves in such pathetic situation. May God sew you through.


~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA LUMIA

Abeni said...

Mmmmm.

Anonymous said...

It's wrong for them to Blame you for the mistakes u made when you were 15.. one shouldn't even be married at that tender age.. the family should try and understand that.. you deserve a happy life..

Alloy Chikezie said...

All the best to you dear. We all make mistakes, we're only an imperfect being not immune to mistakes, so don't let the issue worry you too much, que sera sera.
If you're meant to marry him, then nothing will change that.
I hope things turn for the best for your, and your heart desires comes to past in Jesus name.

Cheers!

Your comment will be visible after approval.

Alloy Chikezie said...

All the best to you dear. We all make mistakes, we're only an imperfect being not immune to mistakes, so don't let the issue worry you too much, que sera sera.
If you're meant to marry him, then nothing will change that.
I hope things turn for the best for you, and your heart desires comes to past in Jesus name.

Cheers!

Your comment will be visible after approval.

Unknown said...

Wow! If I was d sister i'll let hhim marry her, wat if I was in her position...it's so Saad sweedy buh d past shld remain in d past!

Northern Princess 7 said...

you are seeking for advice, yet advising others... you've said it all Madam... Do what u wish

Anonymous said...

My dear your story is so pathetic and it's rather unfortunate. Don't even know where to start advising you LMAO!!! Yahoo guy leaks video of himself having phone sex on speaker with a UNILAG babe..*See how she moans* (Must-watch)

Unknown said...

Madam I feel your pain and understand you. But you're not asking for advice for yourself but for him, you're even advising us, so I will pass.

Unknown said...

In D part of D country where I come from we don't choose husband for our daughters...... U don't have to be blame ur father is to be blame.... Go and tell him to his face what he has cause U...... If D guy luv u he will marry U.. Our own is our own. My own is my own.....

Unknown said...

In D part of D country where I come from we don't choose husband for our daughters...... U don't have to be blame ur father is to be blame.... Go and tell him to his face what he has cause U...... If D guy luv u he will marry U.. Our own is our own. My own is my own.....

Unknown said...

In D part of D country where I come from we don't choose husband for our daughters...... U don't have to be blame ur father is to be blame.... Go and tell him to his face what he has cause U...... If D guy luv u he will marry U.. Our own is our own. My own is my own.....

Unknown said...

See what parents dey cause,which kind yeye marriage be dat at such a young age,I pray she get her life bck.....mstchhhheeeewwww




....Am gettin dere....

Unknown said...

Good to know that you have found yourself and can now think of running an NGO where you can share your experiences in marriage. Your new man should speak for you amongst his family, he is the one that knows you and wants you. He is the only one that can defend you and fight for you.

As regards your first marriage, there are a million and one women who have never experienced orgasm during sex, men have different experiences when it comes to sex. As much as it is vital and a bedrock of many relationship, it is not a tool to break a marriage or cheat on your partner.

If your partner does everything right but sex, there is way you can help him or her, cheating is always not the best option. You can start out by talking and expressing your dissatisfaction Lovingly, don't let him feel he is not man enough.
Suggest sex positions or even watch Adult movies together especially the ones on Love making lessons.

Discover your G spot and make sure he concentrates on that area most times during sex, help yourself to come and not make it your partners duty mainly. You can also touch yourself and and help yourself, the main thing is that you have achieved orgasm.

Early marriages are no crime, ask omotola Jalade and she will tell you how happy she is at 37yrs with grown up children. Intact dear, it's the best, you set out early and finish fast. By 25yrs, you are done with pregnancies and nursery's. It's such a beautiful experience. Need I say though that different strokes for different folks. Have fun and stay faithful.

Unknown said...

Good to know that you have found yourself and can now think of running an NGO where you can share your experiences in marriage. Your new man should speak for you amongst his family, he is the one that knows you and wants you. He is the only one that can defend you and fight for you.

As regards your first marriage, there are a million and one women who have never experienced orgasm during sex, men have different experiences when it comes to sex. As much as it is vital and a bedrock of many relationship, it is not a tool to break a marriage or cheat on your partner.

If your partner does everything right but sex, there is way you can help him or her, cheating is always not the best option. You can start out by talking and expressing your dissatisfaction Lovingly, don't let him feel he is not man enough.
Suggest sex positions or even watch Adult movies together especially the ones on Love making lessons.

Discover your G spot and make sure he concentrates on that area most times during sex, help yourself to come and not make it your partners duty mainly. You can also touch yourself and and help yourself, the main thing is that you have achieved orgasm.

Early marriages are no crime, ask omotola Jalade and she will tell you how happy she is at 37yrs with grown up children. Intact dear, it's the best, you set out early and finish fast. By 25yrs, you are done with pregnancies and nursery's. It's such a beautiful experience. Need I say though that different strokes for different folks. Have fun and stay faithful.

Unknown said...

Yeah I so got this part clearly..Nobody have right to choose a partner for anybody no matter how old or young the person is. Yea fine then on the other hand if he were to be my brother, I wouldn't advice him to go further with you, because the way you said your own part sounds so sweet but to the society you are a wayward child and no body in his right sense will want his brother or frnd get married to a woman that left his first husband, for what reasons? My dear put yourself in the man's family people's shoe and then advice yourself then come back here to give me an answer

Unknown said...

Story that touch d heart.. Sorry woman, but if the man is man enough and loves u, he will stick witg you Regardless of what family says

Unknown said...

Hmmmmm

Damilola said...

Its unfortunate that you were forced to marry so young and really no one has the right to judge u for the sleeping around and partying. But seriously there is nothing we can do for you except hope he ends up marrying you. I wouldn't stop my brother if it were the case

Unknown said...

Your story is a pathetic one, sorry you had to go through dat as a teenager. Wat I'll say is, don't go on making the same mistake again, cause u said ur parents forced u into the first marriage now u kinda trying to force ur self into yet another one. Yes I said u want to force ur self into dis one now. Is simple, if he loves you as u claim then u don't hv to worry ur self about anything. Let him make his choice, his ppl or u, period.

Unknown said...

Your story is a pathetic one, sorry you had to go through dat as a teenager. Wat I'll say is, don't go on making the same mistake again, cause u said ur parents forced u into the first marriage now u kinda trying to force ur self into yet another one. Yes I said u want to force ur self into dis one now. Is simple, if he loves you as u claim then u don't hv to worry ur self about anything. Let him make his choice, his ppl or u, period.

Unknown said...

dear sender, so sorry about your story it quite touching and sympathetic. i understand how u feel and how much pains u have endure for the past 12 years in ur first marriage. firstly biblically God hates divorce, and it is only permitted if there is infidelity.pls i will strongly advice ur work out ur first marriage, talk share ur worries and your heart.work it out, no perfect marriage and no perfect being on this earth. think about it, since his family is against it let me tell no family will accept such except if his family are not aware ofur background..

Unknown said...

If twas d guy dat had kids buh left his wife, his friends and family wudnt complain... mtcheew. Nigerians and dia 2nd Century mentality..
* * * Linda's 1st Daughter * * *

Anonymous said...

I'm sure u are a Muslim,those people are Senseless,nothing is right about them

Karlsson said...

Well, we all make mistakes. Luckily, some ve another chance to right their wrongs while some don't ve that opportunity. Thank God U re back on the right path and I wish U success in everything you do

Ubanagum

SWILL MARTIN said...

If he was my bro and he really loves you,i'll tell him to go ahead jooor,i mean it's love u can't explain it,alot of pple make mistakes jaree who r we not to 4give my dear if dat guy loves uuu genuinely whatever his people say wud be crap to him he wouldn't even bat an eye lash.

Anonymous said...

Keep praying God will see u tru


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Sparkles said...

Hmmmmmmm

Ms.Nicey said...

"loose"and "lose" are two different things my people.

Neymar said...

Start the foundation from the North dear.

Irene Nonye said...

I can relate with you my dear,I was also forced into an early marriage,there was no love neither were we compatible,I stayed in it for the sake of my kids and because of what people will say if I leave,at a point I couldn't bear it anymore because he 's a wife beater,I still have the scares of his last beating on my forehead,that was just the last straw for me, I left with my kids and we 've been surviving on our own,I pray God to send true love my way,my advice for you is to remain patient with your man 's people,I know that love will surely prevail in the end,.All the best

Unknown said...

Hian

Unknown said...

If he were my brother, i would advice him to stay clear of you. You should have waited to divorce your hubby properly before philandering. I don't blame the people who say you would do same if you marry the new guy. I only hope your kids (especially your daughter if you have one) don't suffer for your sins when they grow up.










#TeamBlessed#

Anonymous said...

Well,youve really answered ur question @ d last sentence,the family and friends of ur new Man has no right to choose for him and if he loves u enough as u claim,he won't b bothered by what others say

vien said...

Linda ikeji 35 nice 1

Anonymous said...

HMMMMM, DE CHOICE IS HES, IF HES A MATURED BROTHER I WIL ALLOW HIM TO MEK IT OR MIS IT SINCE HE HAS A CHOICE...BT IF YOUNGER BROS WIL TEL HIM TO THNK N PRY WEL CUZ I WNT WANA HEAR STORIES 2MORW....TOMJERRYSWIT

Unknown said...

Stories dat touches the heart. God help you on dis. Linda take note!

Unknown said...

Stories dat touches the heart. God help you on dis. Linda take note!

Unknown said...

Stories dat touches the heart. God help you on dis. Linda take note!

Anonymous said...

Do u want to start a foundation or u need whic 1.abeg pak well cock n bul story

Anonymous said...

sharp

Anonymous said...

WOMAN!!! It just sounds to me that you are an idiot. Why will any sane man marry a prostitute wife who claims change? Humans aren't capable of change,we only make good or bad decisions. We are always who we are. I would have characterised your promiscuity as a 'bad' decision made by a teen,but your recount is not remorseful of any sort. You are instead proud of the cheating,lies and all. Do you give a f?ck about your kids? Women were not meant to love,but to submit. Men were given the order to love their wives and to care. The world's problems begins with the interchange. Men submitting,women loving,men transing,women bouncing. The typical world of today has turned a woman to an average man. Wearing trousers,keeping short hair,lesbianism....and lots more. I will just say that you are a victim of this system of things - Bad! Repent! Go back to your husband and don't let that new nigga fool you with cute smiles and a good f?ck

Anonymous said...

WOMAN!!! It just sounds to me that you are an idiot. Why will any sane man marry a prostitute wife who claims change? Humans aren't capable of change,we only make good or bad decisions. We are always who we are. I would have characterised your promiscuity as a 'bad' decision made by a teen,but your recount is not remorseful of any sort. You are instead proud of the cheating,lies and all. Do you give a f?ck about your kids? Women were not meant to love,but to submit. Men were given the order to love their wives and to care. The world's problems begins with the interchange. Men submitting,women loving,men transing,women bouncing. The typical world of today has turned a woman to an average man. Wearing trousers,keeping short hair,lesbianism....and lots more. I will just say that you are a victim of this system of things - Bad! Repent! Go back to your husband and don't let that new nigga fool you with cute smiles and a good f?ck

Anonymous said...

I'm very interested in this story which is exactly similar 2 wat I'm witnessing right now in my home. I am a guy and truthfully, d society we live in have a barbaric restrictions on women in certain matters which I solely don't agree with. There is high rate of Divorce in d western world b'cos of honesty and there is low rate of Divorce in Africa and Nigeria 2 b precise b'cos dia is lack of honesty, respect 4 humanity and itz "free will" which is why u see so many unhappy marriage go down 2 d wire whereby d man or d woman stay 2geda even wen dey r both very unhappy in d marriage. I bet u dat if d whites were nigerians, dey will b so many failed marriages a ratio wihch might b more over here dan over dia in d western world. D greatest gift ever given 2 mankind by God is "FREE WILL". D ability of a man 2 chose what 2 eat, wear, how 2 dress, type of job u want, who 2 "love", dat is y God himslf can't force U 2 worship HIM which is y dey r so many religion in d world 4 u 2 chose 4rm. So y. Should society make ur choice 4 U? Pls my dear, dat is an abuse of God's Infinite Power n if u believe in God, u should never let any1 b ur God by dictating what u want in life. Follow ur heart, live happily in love and stay happy. Don't let wot society say affect ur ways of living.

Anonymous said...

You are a big fool ashawo, cheating on your husband, you better go back to your formal husband or go and hang a transformer, anofia

Unknown said...

Wow!

Dis LIB super story has said it...
D ultimate choice depends on ur man dat is is he truly loves u he wil go d mile to marry u witout caring abt ur past ibut d case wil b otherwise if he doesn't possess d true luv for u as u claim.

So dis is d test for true luv.
Watch it as it unfold by ur man making d ultimate choice by not listening ti wht his people think or feels abt u.

Case close!

NaijaDeltaBabe said...

Quite unfortunate

Unknown said...

Wow!

Dis LIB super story has said it...
D ultimate choice depends on ur man dat is is he truly loves u he wil go d mile to marry u witout caring abt ur past ibut d case wil b otherwise if he doesn't possess d true luv for u as u claim.

So dis is d test for true luv.
Watch it as it unfold by ur man making d ultimate choice by not listening ti wht his people think or feels abt u.

Case close!

Unknown said...

A parent should always be involved . Not the final decision maker but can serve as advicers. Considering your shady past, its hard for a man to trust such. If he can cope he will take the risk but never expect any family member of anyone in Nigeria to be happy their son is marrying a mother of two on his first marriage. Talkless of discovery that u jumped from man to man

ary said...

Awww a horrible story!! How do you force a child into marriage at 15!! How unfortunate, I hope this man turns a deaf ear to his friends!

QUEEN B said...

The society is so cruel on woman. Mothers are busy raising good wifes without in turn raising good men to marry them.

obietrezy said...

Well that's your cup of tea........ Jor oh

yawanow said...

Yours is a sad story every parent should learn from. Pray hard and forgive yourself. even if it doesn't work out, someone better will make it happen.

APPLE said...

I won't advice my brother to marry your type.

Anonymous said...

Funny how life turns out. My sis had a similar experience. She Used to go out with her present boyfriend's younger brother when she was 15 but they didn't have sex and later broke up. Now she's dating the older one who proposed to marry her and people are opposing to it now she's devastated. What do you expect her to do?
Nb- most people make mistakes when there are younger but the most important part is that we grow and learn from it.
Keep praying, the Lord is your strength....

Kachi said...

Hey yah!!! Touching

Unknown said...

#Speechless!........

Unknown said...

Just go back to your first husband when you were forced to marry him why didn't you run away from your house so that the marriage won't work. Your problem get K-leg

Anonymous said...

How do I write to Linda? I am in the same scenario, but we are still married. My husband lies, cheat and has a temper. I pray your true love marries you. I want to join the foundation.

Anonymous said...

First of all, go back to school.

Unknown said...

The Lord is your strength and will see you through....

PRESIDENT's DAUGTHER said...

First where re ur children u left them just so if u cud go flexing and u call urself a mother u cudnt sacrifice for children knowing u Wud need them whn ur old? For leaving dos innocent children 4 d man alone to cater 4 them I pray dis man neva marries u cos u are a wicked and an heartless woman thts y his pipo doesn't want u becs they re afraid u might fall out of love wit him somday nd leave him wit his kids. Useless woman

Unknown said...

One hell of a complicated situation.
Trying making dem understand what really happened in ur first marriage nd convince dem ure better dan u were then....good luck all d same!

Unknown said...

I understand ur story ma dear

Unknown said...

I understand ur story ma dear

Ehikay said...

Go back to ur husband. You can't get married to someone else when ur husband is still alive. Do u really have feelings? You have 2 kids girl. I was told that u love the person you marry not necessarily marry the person you love. Mayb ur story isn't detailed but I won't let anyone related to me marry u wen ur husband is still alive. Sorry if my words re too straight. Have a nice day

Unknown said...

Shake me nonsense ps ps pack one side

Anonymous said...

You want to eat your cake and have it too? Greedy bastard...cheating on your ex husband...running away from your kids. What a selfish individual you are!!!! Once a cheater always a cheater. May your past continue to haunt you!!! Anuranu mgbeke

Unknown said...

Hmmm pray nd repent God will help u















Lib freak

Sholafunmi. said...

My dear ,pray well.

Unknown said...

My advice is not to marry uu. Go back to ur first husband. No man will be better than him since he didn't do the following: beat, cheat or abuse u

Anonymous said...

I tow with his family. You would not only carry ouy the same mistakea but graduate to doing worse things like murder maybe. So pls return to your husband and apologise and take good care of your children. You dont know what the man feels, you only think of yourself, selfish self. Dont be a psycho pls

Shelterlovely@gmail.com said...

I feel your pain.if it were my brother and he is happy we will support him. I pray it works for you.

Shelterlovely@gmail.com said...

I feel your pain.if it were my brother and he is happy we will support him. I pray it works for you.

Shelterlovely@gmail.com said...

I feel your pain.if it were my brother and he is happy we will support him. I pray it works for you.

SIMPLYCOCK said...

A friend of mine (a UNN graduate) did same...

Went to the village in the East and fetched himself a teenager as wife...

Brought her to Lagos, and enrolled her in a nearby secondary school...

But the young girl bolted after rumors of her having serial affairs...

But conservative, silly, and hypocritical Nigerian parents would never learn...

They think money can buy love....

My advice to the man: if you love that girl and you are settled deep in your stomach that she's your wife from God, then deafen your ears to the heckling from your family; move with dispatch and marry your love...

Life is short and dreary...

Only love makes it worth the while...

If you've found love, trade it for nothing in the world!!!!!

King said...

You're 34 years now. Are you sure you're not Linda Ikeji??? I'kala, onweghi onye g'alu gi; I'kala.

King said...

You're 34 years now. Are you sure you're not Linda Ikeji??? I'kala, onweghi onye g'alu gi; I'kala.

Anonymous said...

You cheated as a married woman with kids and here giving an advice?
you no dey shame?and i believed the same man you wanted to marry now was the
guy you was cheating with your husband money right?cos he ur ex.must be in money to
make ur parents give u early in marriage,listen he will always telling you in ur
face that since you cheated on ur ex,you will also cheat on him maybe after 5years
of this ur new marriage,give ur life to CHRIST JESUS first,,before entring into
marriage again and just if you love ur kids much,
from swiss

Anonymous said...

You cheated as a married woman with kids and here giving an advice?
you no dey shame?and i believed the same man you wanted to marry now was the
guy you was cheating with your husband money right?cos he ur ex.must be in money to
make ur parents give u early in marriage,listen he will always telling you in ur
face that since you cheated on ur ex,you will also cheat on him maybe after 5years
of this ur new marriage,give ur life to CHRIST JESUS first,,before entring into
marriage again and just if you love ur kids much,
from swiss

Lady C said...

Touching,pray hard for d parent to accept u cos I believe u won't repeat such mistake again.

dudette said...

The story funny sha!

Anonymous said...

My dear if you had a man with security issues like mine,I swear you would have had no option but to struggle to love your forced husband.my husband is scared of me talking even to women n any boy or neighbour talking to me is sleeping with me.He is so insecure that he burns my clothes n won't even allow my family or friends to call me on my fine.God will help u.

Anonymous said...

Awaiting comments
~D great anonymous!

Anonymous said...

If the man truly truly loves you, he should defy everyone and marry you. Love conquers.

Unknown said...

Hmm ok

Juleslouis said...

Mistakes African parents r fond of making. Smh

TAMARA SPLASH said...

Follow ur heart

Anonymous said...

Funny how it is more of women that are here criticizing a girl given out in marriage at age 15 people. The judges here have not tried to even consider the fact that at 15 this girl would still be in secondary school. Non of the accusers would ever understand how it feel because the truth is she is the one that wore the shoe for 12 years. The level of hypocrisy in this part of the world is appalling. Some of the people talking are not yet married because they are looking for love damn it! If people bring some of their life issues here it is only advisable that we don't compound it by abusing them. So many idiots in this world. All of you talking trash, try to give your girl child out in marriage at age 15 because I am sure non of you is below 15 here and talking. Has anyone even considered that what her parents did was child abuse? come on!!!!!

Unknown said...

Is true, the fault is from her dad

Mo Sibyl said...

A lot of holes in the story. First, who gets married at 15?! In any event, this is an issue between you and the guy. Appealing to the public on what to do is short of manipulating or controlling the guy for him to stay with you. If he loves you genuinely and if it is meant to be, he will be with you. A true man shouldn't care too much of your past (assuming you are contrite) especially if he gets to be a part of your future.

Love always wins!

The Austinite... Love is God is Love.

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