Bread and butter celebrities & failed marriages' - written by Etcetera | Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog

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Saturday 28 June 2014

Bread and butter celebrities & failed marriages' - written by Etcetera

Now singer turned writer Etcetera writes about celebs and why some of their marriages fail. Read below...
If you listen to relationship programmes on radio, you would notice that many Nigerians are indeed struggling with their relationships and marriages and they are all seeking help. And because they do not have a glaring media attention serialising their issues, making judgments, giving strong commentary, poking them emotionally, there are chances of their relationships and marriages problems being solved.
Why is it that with the fame, fortune and good looks, our celebrities’ marriages still don’t work? It has been a strange phenomenon that the union of people in the limelight hardly lasts, indeed. So the question is, why do most celebrity marriages crash frequently?
Fame is dangerous to relationships for many reasons. Most troubling is that it demands that a couple spend time away from each other. One indicator of happiness in a relationship is the amount of time spent with one’s partner.

Spending time together is necessary to sustain a relationship, yet celebrities tend to ignore this and only focus on how to become more famous. You need to keep up with each other’s lives, look into each other’s eyes, and be in the same physical space to feel the mood and emotions from each other.
Without that, you might love each other, but staying “in love” demands much more than occasional get-together.

The man who loves you may start losing feelings because of the demands of your job. Your spouse, for instance, wants you to be home, but you cannot be at home because you are either on location or at one event or another socialising as a celebrity.

Celebs are expected to be extroverts – attending parties, or going to bars or clubs. Your spouse may not like all that. These things take their toll and it gets to a point when one of the parties says that he or she has had enough, and then packs his or her bag and leaves.

Most celebs don’t really take time to understand each other or truly understand what marriage is about before venturing into it. Some even see it as just an added feather to their cap. They love to gather people together, go to church and stand before the altar to exchange vows in front of the congregation. There is actually more to marriage than the physical appearance.

The pressure to live up to certain standards and give a good impression also contributes to marital splits among celebs. Because of their status, they put too much unnecessary pressure on themselves and try too hard to live up to the standard of others.

Most tend to live a life that is not theirs. The pressure of wanting to create or give people the impression of having a sense of perfection will certainly make your marriage crumble. Put a stop to all the pretence and be real to yourself.

Infidelity is the most common cause of most celebrity marriage break-ups in Nigeria. Some spouses have left their marriages when they could no longer bear the indiscretions of their unfaithful partners.
Infidelity is not restricted to celebrities only. It is a major source of marital discord today. But what makes that of celebrities different is the temptation they face regularly. Because of living their lives constantly in the spotlight and fame, they are presented with more ‘opportunities’ to cheat than others.

When musicians, for instance, go for shows, girls throw themselves at them. Even a Reverend Father can get tempted with all the ‘offerings.’ If one partner is constantly unfaithful, it can cause discord in the marriage.

Jealousy is also a problem in celebrity union. If one, for instance, has more fame, more success than the other, it can cause problems if the other party does not have the strength of character to cope with his or her partner being constantly in the limelight.

It takes a very strong man or woman to endure his wife, for instance, being more famous, getting more attention than them. You attend a party, and your husband or wife observes you being embraced and kissed here and there, jealousy starts getting into the marriage. It doesn’t even matter if both of you are celebrities.

Put your ego aside. As celebs, you’re going to be constantly fighting for the limelight. But marriage is all about concessions, even if it takes one of you to have to ride in the backseat for awhile for things to work out.

Money is the root of most problems in marriages. When your wedding planning starts taking the shape of a corporate board meeting, you’re already in trouble. Play deaf to the rumours. Celebrities are always insecure about one thing or another, and it is the reason a lot of media rumours are going to tear your already shaky relationship to shreds. Stop selling your privacy in pictures, on Twitter, Instagram or Facebook.

Choose whether you want to remain single or get married. Marriage is hard when you are used to being in control all the time. But suddenly you can’t just wake up one morning and jet off to Abuja or London for a weekend with your friends or spend N100,000 on a pair of shoes without certain considerations.

When you’re used to being the centre of your world, it is not easy to take that step back and let someone else have a major stake in your life.

Like every electronic device, marriage comes with a manual which must be followed to the letter if you want it to be successful. Celebrity marriages will continue to crash as long as they are building them on themselves and not on God, who is the initiator of marriage.

103 comments:

Anonymous said...

Kinda true..u spoke well Etc..welldone

Anonymous said...

Kinda true..u spoke well Etc..welldone

Unknown said...

ECTERA RE U MARRIED?????

PPLE WILL STILL CUM ND APPLUAD U FOR WRITING DIS.....

DIS DUDE HAS CHANGED IS PROFESSION @ LINDA.....

ECTERA D WRITER....

GDMONI LINDA ND LIBERS... AV A BLESSED WKEND

Anonymous said...

Personally I don't care about whatever he writes but the fact that he writes just about issues that concerns celebs is annoying, if u wanna be a writer u have to be diversed all ur topics shouldn't be celebrities centered, with that it shows u r angry and jealous of them cos u failed at being one. Pls honestly u write well but write meaningful things that we will all gain from and respect u for. Peace

BONARIO NNAGS said...

Loud it!!! Another wonderful piece from Et cetera. U hit the nail on the head.


~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA LUMIA

Gold said...

9ce one

Omosimua Sarah said...

So correct
He keeps writing not minding the insults
I love this piece

Www.omosarah.com

Mischievous said...

Brilliant!

#King said...

Ok mr example..well said..but spending 100k on a shoe..is nufn bro..anybody in a relationship wit a celeb shld knw wat to expect..............in other news I'm back..travelled to owerri with daddy showkey..still in owerri..too busy I didn't open ur blog aunty linda........................................#KingOfKings

Anonymous said...

Officially, Etcetera is my newest crush, well after Enyeama.
He didn't mention names this time, № one should come here mentioning names.

Unknown said...

dis article is wayyy better! it was objective and ddnt come açross as jealous n bitter

Ozed said...

Good write up,I love this.Your analysis is correct,you have given all the reasons why their marriages don't work & will never work unless a partner chooses to play the fool or both of them are doing the same.But Etc,try to go back to music.

Unknown said...

He. Said it all......onye nwere nti ya nuru.

Unknown said...

True talk,who will be the next celeb to take this personal?

###########GOD bless#####################Naija

CHERRY said...

Bro u ve said it all.hope they are seeing this.

Anonymous said...

WHAT A WONDERFUL WRITE-UP. I JUST WISH THE READERS WILL APPRECIATE THIS GREAT MESSAGE RATHER THAN CONDEMING THIS TALENTED WRITER AS USUAL. ANYWAYS TRUTH THEY SAY IS ALWAYS BITTER. MANY THANKS ..... ETCETERA

Anonymous said...

celebrities marriage will cotinue to crash as long as them build it on themselves but not on God who is the initiator of marriage, what an insight linda i need more of dis guy i swear.#THAT AKWA IBOM BOY#

Unknown said...

Lovely write-up. I'm inspired. As an aspiring celebrity I will put all these into consideration b4 venturing into marriage. Kudos Etcetera. I'm out. ***CATCH ME IF U CAN***

Dee said...

The truth is that their are no down to earth women ready to grow with their husbands. They all want already made guys to maintain a standard and the media caused it. How can kim k be a girls role model and you expect the marriage to last when her role model could not even stay,lol..our fathers are just the lucky guys

Anonymous said...

can some one shut dis guy up already,

Cynthia Iyede said...

Word!

Anonymous said...

Etcetera or whatever ure cld seriously don't know wat ure insinuating, a man dat ain't a celebrity, dat marry a celebrity should know wat happens in a celebrity's life style,sometin wiv a woman dat marries a celeb,she should be ready for whatever is going on out in d world,direct ur talk to whoever u wanna yab& stop beating abt the bush man.all dis is cld airi oro so in yoruba language. Linda swallow dis comment if u like.

Anonymous said...

This guy write up is good,I wonder why people like freeze is hating,instead learning good from it..if he failed as a singer to him,how about as a writer? Keep it etc..

Anonymous said...

Etcetera, u really are just good... am so damn sure dat some fools will still find something wrong with this article when they should've rather learn from it, the guy doesn't even give a damn'bout wat ur bitter ass(es) tweet about him... keep doing ur thing man and leave them in their woes...

@so_distinct

Unknown said...

Last paragraph...followed to the later not letter. Insightful article, but why celebrities all the time? Leave them alone nah. Haba!

GeorgeTown Ceo said...

what the fuck is wrong with this dude???always complaining and attacking people....get a life dude..We sick and tired of Ya Face..

Unknown said...

Though wat he's saying is d truth bt ow is it his business.

Anonymous said...

Hehee,et cetra don talk again. Good opinion,yes marriage should be built on God who is the initiator.

Anonymous said...

A minister of the gospel wouldn't have said it better. I traded limelight for my relationship, as a man I just wanna love my wife and family. God help us because leavers don't cleave..leaving is embedded on selfish and demonic reasons, if you did right in the first place things will be under control!

Anonymous said...

Steady stating the obvious

Anonymous said...

True Talk.

Alicia says... said...

Useless write up, as if everything there isn't already common knowledge.

Mc2une said...

Brilliant write-up. Wish most celebs knew this

Unknown said...

It seems Celebrities are now the selling point for Eceteera. He should thread softly so as not to make a lot of enemies in the media because he would one day needs this celebs favour.

Anonymous said...

Alright electra we've heard you #bright bravo#

www.glowyshoe.com said...

Criosly wats wit dz guy...i knw everyone is entitled to hz or her opinions buh he taks hz opinions too far

Pls visit my shoe blog

http://glowysofiscated.blogspot.com

GLAM ME PRO said...

They should take a clue from captain Ekeinde. He's a strong man I must say cos most men can't stand that their spouse is famous than they are, the same way men feel about a woman having more cash than them. True talk!

Chelizruby said...

I couldn't agree more. He is sooo right. God should be the foundation of all marriages. Chelizrubycube.com for naija weight loss tips.

Anonymous said...

Am kinda liking this guy 's write ups...this is absolutely true

Anonymous said...

Very true and correct. Celebrities and the general public take note. That's why lindodo is taking her time to study the manual

Anonymous said...

Second article coming from this dude that I think makes sense...heheheheh who know's I might end up liking this guys's write ups afterall.

Okoro said...

Ok

CharlesEndy a.k.a Dr. Pepper said...

It's 'latter' not 'later'. Next time cross-check before you correct. Nobody sabi pass! "Marriage is hard when you're used to been in control all the time". I do not have to be married to totally agree with this. Relinquishing control and authority is no hobby to mortals.

Tee said...

seeehn if you dont understand something dont condemn it. ETC's previous write-ups came off as bitter although with some truth but his method of passing across his message was askew.

Now this write up has depth and is objective as he picked a farmiliar subject to him which is celebs but also generalised on relationships/marriages across the board.

i give him two snaps for this

Anonymous said...

why cant some people read through the write up before drawing up conclusions. The writer didn't only refer to celebrities but also to the common man. He put facts into words for it to sink in better. He is saying the truth irrespective of if he is married or not.

Lady K said...

At least he has a fine yummy face, can u show your ugly one in public. Grow some sense and learn from the messenger instead of letting jealousy cause you to hang the messenger

Anonymous said...

Etcetera is the MAN! Unlike Freeze dat can't change career. Always spitting on the mick as a radio dj. Nor be only OAP...na oh shit freeze!!!

Anonymous said...

Very insightful. ..Etcetera is a good writer

give urselves brain said...

some people wldnt appreciate good things even if it was given to dem...some anynymous nitwart said he doesnt care wat he writes cos he only writes abt celebrities n so he's jealous...u wld make a good candidate in B.H cos u jst cnt see d clear pix..there are some journalist who only writes abt specified celebrities not even all celebs...people chose to write wat dey can relate to,irrespective...so shush it,eat sum ewa goyin and a satchet of pure of water n prob sleep..yeye foul..etc,good write up bruv...u doing good...no mind peepz like dis and dt rejected albino..

Steveosky 4 Real. said...

I av always known you are one mugu like that. The last time I told you to keep your dealings to yourself. Better still call her if you wish to tell her where u traveled to. Don't be forming on this blog like you are one president's son. You are hangin out with Daddy showkey? U see your class?? Mgbada !!!

Amarachukwu. said...

True talk but must he mention celebrities?

Anonymous said...

Bia what's your name? Don't be feeding us with news of your personal life. Did anybody miss you ? NO ! So STFU..

Anonymous said...

King of pigs, 100k is nufn? Really. Am sure u don't have a family yet and no responsibilities. wheh u do am sure you will know better then..

Anonymous said...

A very insightful article. And it doesn't apply to celeb marriages alone, even non-celebs.

Anonymous said...

Celebrity marriages end more frequently than ones between ordinary people because of finances. The ordinary woman can't leave her marriage because she's dependent on her husband financially, and the alimony and palimony laws don't favor her. With celebs, there's more financial independence for the women. They know they can be successful without a man so they're less likely to endure or tell themselves they must stay in failed relationships because God hates divorce.

Unknown said...

Caught a headache after reading the write up ugh!!! Give it up already

Anonymous said...

My dear Etc, u have a very strong voice. I just heard ur Song "Ring the Alarm" is a very powerful song but is so painful that 9ja will not understand ur kind of Song all dey want to dance to is noise. U just got ur self a great fun I swear down, am a lover of good song Music and u are good at it. May God show mercy on ur work so the world not just 9ja will see wt dey have been missing. Love ur voice to the mood

@MEETD®EALEVANS™ said...

This guy is good, with this kind of write ups, I see u becoming a well known writer...

omalichaspeaks.blogspot.com said...

First piece I've read from this dude that actually makes good sense.
Old School Marriage Advice- click my name to read more.

Anonymous said...

for d person asking ''why he writes abt celebraties''dnt u think d newspaper might have employed him as a celebrity columnist?all i know is he talks abt what u all want to hear,all d ppl yabbing him whether unda anony or wt fake ac names are d affected!savour yr stardom and allow him to savour his own skills as a writer!you hv every write to criticise him but abusing him makes u uneducated!

Anonymous said...

"One indicator of happiness in a relationship is the amount of time spent with one’s partner.
Spending time together is necessary to sustain a relationship..."

If only we know the value of time... more precious and so elusive... than money. Knowing fully well that this life is too short not to spend them with those we care about. How many of us have heard this song "If I could save time in a bottle"?

Anonymous said...

Ecetera d writer...

Unknown said...

Nice one,I used to dislike this dude,buh with this article am havin a. Second thought.

Unknown said...

Omigosh!! Daddy shokey? Of all peeps? And who asked u king of kings? Buhaahahahah! Ndi mmadu sef

ary said...

Let's see who will cast the first stone! Linda is just steady using this guy's articles on her blog so she can stir up hate and then she has more stories.

jbankzE said...

Y r u so paind nd full of jealousy towards ur peers.....na dem tel u 2 fail fr muzik?now ur talkin abt marriage like u kw wat dey sufa behind close door........ Go get a life nd start sellin bread coz datz wea u wil mak t.....

~@iamJbankz Olamide's PA~

Anonymous said...

Nne, ina asaku ndi Mmadu too much. Odiro mma for Nwanyi . Just an advice

Anonymous said...

Spot on.!! That this guy failed as a music artist doesn't mean he can't succeed at writing. Let's face it, we've all failed at something and tried other things so y'all should stop being saintly and crucifying the guy. Every industry has critics and they come in different forms.

Anonymous said...

Thats why they are called writers my darling

Anonymous said...

I totally disagree with the part that says "marriage comes with a manual". That would mean stereotyping marriages, but every marriage is unique and its up to the couple involved to work hard at discovering what makes their marriage tick. Every other point etcetera raised am in support of.

Debbie Chelsea said...

Nice 1

jennietobbie said...

Thank you sir

Unknown said...

The guy isn't a failed musician,he has great voice,write and sing meaningful song. Have u heard Ring the alarm. We 9ja don't appreciate good music,ETC u re doing well 4 urself inbtw a nice article I learnt frm it.

Francis said...

How is it his business ??? What a question its evident u don't know what an ARTICLE is ... *smh*

Orji said...

I bet won't of these dudes with negative comment didn't even read it to completion.

Anonymous said...

Lol, Broda yii sha, but seriously people tho, he has a point. But he actually needs to get off celebs dicks tho,why not write about Amala Politicians e.g Ayo Fayose and the rest of them.

Anonymous said...

OOH MY O MY ETCETERA U ARE TOOMUCH AND GOD BLESS U FOR THIS, I KNEW U WHERE GONNA BRING IN THE EXCEPTIONAL LYRICAL POWER IN UR SONGS INTO UR WRITE UP'S AS I AM ONE OF THOSE WHO ENJO THE FLOW IN UR MUSICAL LYRICS.
BUT U MUST BECAREFUL OF JEALOUSY JEALOUSY PEOPLE WHO FEEL THREATEN ALREADY B'CUS OF UR BLUNTNESS AND NUMBER ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE IS FREEZE OF COOL FM. KEEP IT UP ETCETERA! (9ijaborn yankeebased).

Anonymous said...

The fact that this man has a failed music career has already discredited him. I could never waste my time reading the article of someone whose orientation is birth from bitterness. If he claims to be a writer then let him write about other topics government, lifestyle, public behavior, Nigerians etc and not about other people's lives who managed to make something in the same field where he failed, is he married himself? does he have any experience in marriage? I guess not, so how come he is now a marriage councilor? I don't subscribe to people who operate via jealousy and bitterness, its just not my way.. when he has exhausted all his bitterness in writing what next? My advice for the young man is to go and change career, become a proper writer and stop wasting your time down-casting and pointing fingers on the same industry you couldn't get into. People will get tired of you very soon and your moment of glory in writing will fade away just like your musical career has faded away.. a word is enough for the wise..

Anonymous said...

I'm sure most pple here haven't listened to his songs.. Listen to "federal character", "ring the alarm" etc nd u wld agree with me thats exactly the kind of song my beloved country needs now... Nice Write-ups though..... ODO

Unknown said...

Nice one,guess his style of writing is solely on celebrities.

Anonymous said...

Annie Idibia hope you're reading this. Instagram celeb..

Anonymous said...

Sweet 2 read.. U really hit d point . Nice one

Anonymous said...

Lili , abeg approval dis . Pls try change ur profile pix . Ogini !

Anonymous said...

Am already loving dis guy!!!! Well said dear

Anonymous said...

This dude looks like joker, when he smiles, very creepy looking!!! Who made him the authority on marriage, is he married? The dude is like an annoying pest, when you think you have got rid of him, he comes back with more conceited rants, in the guise of long epistles.... He should go and write a book, and desist from rubbing his colleagues off the wrong way!!! Jeez, and Linda, Liadi and co stop pandering to this nonsense, and stop giving him a platform to rant!!! What has he said, that anybody married or not, does not know already, he is insulting our intelligence smh!!!Whizman

#King said...

Thunder fire u wilHOEminna moses and steve Anus 4 Real..I came down to owerri cos of justice oputa's burial..u pple are just stupid jobless pple..@wilHoeminna showkey will train u in sch u stupid bitch....................................#KingOfKings

Anonymous said...

Y r some people called this man a failed musician? In naija, when u r blunt, they 'll call u all kinds of names. Radarada pple. Nice writeup jare

Anonymous said...

He didn't failed as a music artist, people like u failed to understand good music

APPLE said...

True talk. I like this guy.

Unknown said...

King of Ndi Isi Mmebi,lol
#justpassing

Ezenwa via Samsung c3222.

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Anonymous said...

I'm back,travelled to owerri.......stl in owerri.......too busy, wch 1 is d truth nw? U r back or u stl dey owerri? Anyway,op u won't announce on TVC wen u go USA & mistakenly see any caleb dre . Lol. Cos ds 1 na only owerri & daddy shokey u dey tel linda lik say she evn care or observe ur absence.

Anonymous said...

I believ Lyndy mk is a grammatical guru cos I closely follow her comments. So carelessly missin a 't' is more pardonable than substituting letter wt latter abeg and etc nah writer so he should kno better. And he should stop talkin too much

Anonymous said...

All these usless hatibg machines... sumhow i feel Etc is talkin about u guys but ur stupid small head wont let u sit down nd listen, if na tb joshua talk am u go listen ...... Ndi Aru

Petite Diva said...

Nice write up. To the people saying all sorts can you just read the write up and acknowledge that he is right. Stop being judgmental.....

For healthy hair tips check out www.journalofapetitediva.blogspot.com

Unknown said...

Nice write up! But sometimes write UPS don't change who or what we are over night no matter how insightful they may appear. At the end of the day it is always easier said than done. The only sure foundation is having all endeavors built on the knowledge that there is a God who can always make our path straight even when others appear crooked. So we must always trust in God!

Lagosgirl said...

Charlesendy aka Dr pepper....its not been in control but BEING. #gbam

Anonymous said...

It is very obvious some pple went to school to come out more uneducated.... How is a celebrity columnist expected to write on sports n politics? Should Sola Sobowale, Reuben Abati, Nasir El Rufai n those gamji political columnist be expected to write about nollywood or music?

Unknown said...

Truth is he is actually a good writer...

Anonymous said...

I love dis guy, d reason being dat he says d truth dats d reason d affected go afta him e.g dat she musician & dat OAP guy.....

ZeeZee said...

Even though you are a failed musician you are a very good writer Etcetera

Anonymous said...

Nice one bro......freeze can go to hell. Truth is always bitter

Blessed One said...

He didn't fail as a musician. There are many talented musicians who have not been a commercial success and that doesn't make the wizkid's and the 2face's better off than him talent wise. I wonder if u will call Timmy Dakolo a failed artiste to

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