I am in my final year in the university and am staying with my aunt (my mum's younger sister) whose husband is a Pastor of his own church with 18 members. I am from a Conservative Baptist family and I'm not cool with his Pentecostal way of doing things. My question is this; do I have to attend his church? If no how do I tell them without offending them?
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Thursday 26 June 2014
Dear LIB readers: How do I avoid attending my uncle's church?
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83 comments:
talk to them politely and speak ur mind. tell them u have ur way of worshipping which u are accustomed to and u cant be forced to worship where u are not free. there is a manner of approach that can be used in conveying ur message without getting them offended.
u ve to attain their church till u graduate BTW dat girl in d pix resamble tiwa savage.#THAT AKWA IBOM BOY#
my dear, u don't have to go if u don't want to.....they should understand. after all, ure an adult n can make ur own decisions
Tell dem politely dat u wldnt mind attendin ur own church frm time to time,n its nothing personal. #DAZZOL.
You just have to develop some courage to tell him you would appreciate it if he allow you attend your church, its a free world, and you have a right to the church you attend, just tell him politely with all respect
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We all have freedom of worship.
The man aint forcing to go to his church so why are u complaining.
Abeg Linda another news
Use your local dialect.
Dunno what else to say dear.
~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA LUMIA
Religious denomination is not to be forced on any one. They should know that already.
All you need do is to locate where your church is in the area and start attending weekly programmes there.
Then on a sunday, u tell your Anty that you are going to your church. Not with a rebellious face, but just your normal self. I don't really see this as a big deal
i believe since u re not spending your whole life with him and the wife.... Endure for the time being...The is a reason for everything.
There's no other way dan telling dem......hohaaa! Otutu okwu adiro na uka mgbede.
Yes!!! You must have to attend the same church with them. Until you become independent and live on your own, then you can worship wherever you want. It's just like saying you don't want to worship in the same place with your parents because you don't like how they operate. You're under the man's roof so it will be disrespectful not to worship in his church.
U don't ve any problem,Ur sounding as if they are dragging u2 a mosques abegii if u won't/cant attend Their church stay @home oR parkOUT & stop buggin people
My dear travel every weekend or tell them you wana convert to another religion,coz you find spiritual fulfilment only in your church.Believe me sweetheart ,they'll fall for your trick and would rather have u attend your church than change religion.This should be your last resort incase diplomatic dialogue fails
Gd 2 hear u re in ur final year, look 4 a gd frd of urs dt stays alone nd is willin 2 accommodate u, then tel ur guardian u wil lik 2 stay wit a frd dt is willin 2 assist u academically durin weekends...
freedom of worship.my dear.Go a any church ur spirit agrees with
there is no denomination in heaven. Christianity is one. message is past
You either tell them in polite but clear terms that you have your liturgical preferences or you come to the service with them, sneak out for your own runs and return just before closing. In doing this find a seat where you can see but not be seen.
I have been in this situation before and he wasnt even a Pastor. I just didnt flow along with dr church and i had to back out. Even though my not attending their church caused a lot of rift, i still stood my ground. Life is too short to be attached to anyone's apron. We are all going to account to God separately. Why attend a church that your heart is not in it.........My dear, stand your GROUND and go where ur heart is. The worst they will do is that they start giving you attitude, but that will just be for a while.
sorry dear, YES, you have to attend the church; it is just you honoring them. If you decide to go to another church, they may not see it as a big deal, but you put yourslf in their shoes, they have a growing church in need of members, yet you from their household wouldnt even attend their church, how does that make you feel?
Just go to their church, at least while you are in their house.
Lolzz. trust me av been in dat situation before en it wasn't funny....hated Sundays like mad....Nwanne just manage till u leave d house. If u ask me oo
*sparkle *
Sometimes the truth will set you free. Just tell em you want to go to your church and that they should respect your wish and let you, after all it is God we all pray to.
Simply tell them u want to be going to your family church.
I'll advice that you just endure attending your uncle's church. I've been in such a situation before. Just keep attending his church, just to avoid any conflict.
Ur aunty shld undrstnd better,and,if d husband want 2 force you,you leave thr house n explain 2 ur parent ur reason,but,pple don't normally force pple 2 do tyns dey don't want agn not evn inlaws,dey don't ve right on u jst thr spouse,aftral,u re an undrgraduate...als put it in prayer...
a.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said...
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Yu just have to have to attend the church or else ur staying there will be hell beside u are not going to stay there forever....
.
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***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***
We worship one God it doesn't matter the name of the church.
And Who Approves Linda
Very easy and simple dear,introduce her to linda's blog and let her read your topic ! She will talk to her
Husband,make sure you show her the topic and ask for her advise.
Funny girl! If you dont want to attend his church, then move out of his abode. Women just always want to have the same cake they have eaten.
If there is no other option of where u can stay, then u need to discuss with them. Because it will be too bad that there is a church in your house and u are attending another church and besides they are harboring u. So I think u just need to attend the church for the while and since u are almost through with your studies , u will soon be free to attend that your church as u want.
just tell him u are holding a laeding role in ur church. dat it will affect ur member if u are not pensent
You tell dem...u move out of the house.You are part of the growing ministry.SHOUT alleluyah!
Hmmmmm... 18 members... Lol...
U no wan make ur aunty's husband be a big general oversear??? U no know na im be the koko now?
My friend attend the church and be d 19th member.
If its pastot chris, would u ask this question?
U MIGHT NOT AV A CHOICE DAN TO ATTEND HIS OWN CHURCH.......
BUT JUST TRY ND ASK HIM NICELY..... U MAY BE LUCKY
This is not a problm worth bringing to a blog. Wen u want to tell them, keep ur head on the floor with ur legs up, or better stil, use a hammer nd break his windscreen. If they ask u why, tell them u dnt wanna attend their church...smh
Hian! Jus tell them you would love to attend a church you are comfortable with but if it was me, I'll suck it up an just attend their own church sef after all, church is church and is it not the same god we are worshipping? Highest when the church is doing stuff you don't like, don't join them.
My dear therez notn u can fu..xcept u call ur parents nd ask dem to talk to ur uncle for u...
Pls visit my shoe blog
www.glowysofiscated.blogspot.com
You join them and be praying in ur style becos I belive we worship thesame God
Send sms
this is the problem i have with christians. what do you mean by his pentecostal way of doing thing? what do they do in other denomination? is it not the same praise worship prayer and word? then hynms. instead of you to say its cos the church is small you are here telling us you are baptist.
i have been to catholic, methodist baptist anglican and pentecostal whats the big deal besides the trousser they wear. which is not a religious problem but a cultural one.
go to any church it doesnt make you more righteous.
Seriously this question is funny tho serious. . Bt I don't even knw wat to say on d matter. Jst do ur wish...
Then pack ur load outa his house!!!
Well, for now, u're under dem so, it would be wise to attend his church. U're not going to live der forever. Believe me, I've lived with ppl and, I know how tough it can be. Just bend to dia will for now, until u're through with ur studies and relocate or leave. DacDuchess
NO, u mustnt attend his church... way 2 tell him "sir, i hv change church. Tank 4 understanding"... hehe
Just tell him speak out your mind #bright bravo#
What's a conservative baptist like you, doing on LIB? Turn to God for guidance, not from "sinners" like us on this blog! After all, that's how you conservatives view others.
go rent ur house...
C.E.O
No stress o. Just explain to your aunt IF she ever challenges your action. I was in same show during my undergrad in London. My aunt is a pastor and just started a youth church. I'm a catholic and wasn't interested in their activities. I just acted my dedication to my church and helped out when I could in her church mostly when they had major events. She and her fellow pastors tried much to change me, but I remained persistent.
NB. I have no reservations towards other denominations. I just love being Catholic and having my free mind. #DontPushIt
Tell em ur parents said to stick with baptist ways.. And ur nt fine with pentecostal
Are you going to serve the pastor or church?? If No then i see no reason why you can't go to there church... Except if there is something else you are not telling us...
Just go to his church. And do ur personal study daily. Nigerians wil nvr understand.
Have a conversation with your uncle and talk about it. Linda is my fashion style focus for the week. visit www.fashionitazbybuiti.com to see
What is there you just tell him you were brought up as a baptist member
My friend support your aunt husband church jor. All christians are one, except your playing religion. If we reverse the roles will you accept? A small church today will become big 2moro.
My dear,its no biggie. If u don't feel comfortable with ur uncle's church, just tell him politely. Am sure he will understand. Plus u have 2 make him believe dat ur a good gurl by ur commitment 2 spirituality. Wif such attitude, he wouldn't b so bothered abt u not attending his church. ---Tyndase
Sorry darling, u have to attend his church if he insists , except he is liberal and let's u attend Ur own church. If not, just play by his rules cos u r under his roof.
You didn't specify the Pentecostal ways your uncle does things you disagree with.
Girlie o, it wont be asking too much
To have you attend uncle's church
Know that your tithe and presence
Are your domestic bills and rent
Hello dear, just tell your Aunty that you miss your church and your former church members, that you would love to go and worship there, once you are able to go once or twice... that's it! you will just make it an every Sunday event.
There is freedom of worship which he too enjoys. Gently tell him that you prefer your own church. If he doesn't like it then he is not really serving God.
See question .
You want to avoid attending his church? Then leave their house. QED
Go back to your parents home or go and rent a place of your own.
My dear, i was in a similar situation abt 7yrs ago - in this case my sis wanted me to go to her church (together as a family). I tried it for wks and goodness it just wasn't me..cant pretend to enjoy what u don't! What did I do? I stopped going to church for a few wks and boom a friend invited me to his church and am a happy member now. Did I explain anything to my sis & her hubby? Nope! Yes, i was in their house, ate their food but of course I made few contributions too. So girl, man up and go where the Lord leads. Btw, my sisters hubby was/is an assistant pastor. Interestingly, they left the church later. It's quite funny how church folks act sha. The spirit leads not people.
You re an adult if u don't like his church just quietly tell him u already have a church u attend and if he is a genuine pastor he won't hold it against u.
Church ish cn mak dem throw u out so bcareful.... God is evrywea na so jst manage til u move outta d huse.
~@iamJbankz Olamide's PA~
U did not chose ur biological family but God did it,Jeremiah 3:15-16,u belong to a particular spiritual family tree where ur profiting,flourishing,nourishing and ur positive spiritual growth is guaranteed,pls locate it and search no more.if u have found it just politely tell them and reference d scripture above and find ur way.exceeding grace is urs.
Yes you are an adult and should be able to make your choices...bt also it doesn't hurt to try something new,free yourself and let the holy spirit direct you...
I don't tink u ave any problem. U need to talk to dem about it and if u tink u can't talk to dem, u ave to continue going to their church in peace
aint nufin wrong wif the pentecostal way....am redeemed nd I attended a Baptist university ......shouldn't be any form of discrimination. ...all serving the same God
Omg u don kill me @lyndmk
As u said,u r in ur final year in school why not cool down till u graduate, after that u r not saying with them again so cool down
Funny comment. Loooolz
Linda, i just visited www.fashionitazbybuiti.com.blogspot,saw the readers post here,girl, u have some cute pictures and u looked beautiful.thumbs up
Yes go with them for the short period you will be staying underb their roof. It's respect.
When you leave their house, you enjoy where you want.
They are still trying to grow that business dear, living with them without worshipping with them will send a message to the few members they have.
If you don't attend with them cos you can't, fastforward and visit when they have hundreds and thousands of members in a gigantic auditorium, would you still feel the same way?
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Yes, you have freedom of worship. AT THIS TIME, JUST GIVE THEM THAT RESPECT.
When people visit relatives, it's a sign of respect to follow them to their place of worship.
Anyway, some people visit and worship with you when you have posh cars that convey them to church. When you are poor, they hussy to their own places of worship and retuyrn back to your house later.
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MAKE UR OPINION KNOWN POLITELY N IF IT ISN'T ACCEPTED, ENDURE FOR THE PERIOD U AV TO STAY WITH THEM. PLEASE WHAT IS ABT THE CHURCH U DONT LIKE COS SOME MEMBER MITE NOTICED DIS N MAKS DEM TO GO ELSE WHERE. DISCUSS DEM FOR A CHANGE. WHO KNOWS DIS MITE BEGIN POSITIVE CHANGE. GOODLUCK
You just tell them politely.
Be smart dumb ass. Attend his idiot church then attend your service. Which kind Olodo level u dey. Abi has he asked u to renounce Christ? If that is the case run for your life. If it's just a matter of attending church whats your own?. If you like go and politely report yourself to them. You will just be homeless. This is the real world gal grow up you have to learn to be diplomatic. There is a time for principals and a time to just keep quiet.
Tell him by renting your own apartment cos it seem you aren't taking responsibility "soul winning". You can help grow the ministry and God could use him to send you away.
Yes o. Time for principals is when u are independant and pay your way. For now just manage ur situation very well.
A very matured answer. Nice tip
My dear ooo... there are different ways but it is the same God... my friend was in the exact same position as you and she had to attend the church - just go, sometimes in life we have to do evn things we don't want to do - SORRY but manage it for now or else they will see you as unsupportive unruly and making excuses
tell him u have a program
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