Dear LIB readers: My husband is addicted to porn & I'm beginning to hate him
From a female LIB reader
I have been married for almost 2 years with an 8 mth old baby. I discovered shortly after I got married that my husband is really into pornography/masturbation. He's also
registered in pornography sites but claims he's not into cyber sex. I've confronted him several times and told him how I feel about it and he promised to stop. But every now and then he still does it.
He says it makes him perform better in bed and also its easier than having sex. He also says he
sometimes doesn't want to disturb me so prefers to masturbate sometimes. I can rate our sex life below average. Please what do I do because I am developing hatred in my heart for husband and can"t stand it any longer.
Since u guyz sexlife is below average then I suspect he knows it and that's an escape for him instead of exposing his sexual flaw again...so get him HERBAL aphrodisiacs n others that elongates ejaculation but make sure its herbal then sits him down and tell him what u feel about him doing it and ask if he's ashame of anything and if there's anything he really wants to upgrage of have about himself that is making him indulge in it...let him know how u r so willing to help him achieve it...another thing I want to ask is; is he into gay pornography? Or the ones he watches are extreme? I can tell he really lacks something...it could be freaky and intense sex that u not willing to engage in or that he can't make manifest cos he needs herbal boost......when u talk to him don't be confrontational but as submissive partner in crime...he needs prayer too
My dear na real wa!!girl go learn new tricks,watch d porn with him and try to make him do u instead of wanking off.help ur sex life and add some spice to it.then put it in prayers cos heaven helps those who help themselves.
I like dis,everyone is talking about asking God for help and all dat.am not saying dat God won't help,but remember heaven helps those who help themselves.help ur marriage by giving him mind blowing sex!!am sure he would then prefer it to porn.cos it didn,t start now,he got used to porn and masturbation cos he wasn,t getting enough sex or sometin.remember sex is a tin of d mind.its gonna take some time for him to change cos it,s become a habit for him.if u have to learn new tricks,pls do!!then put ur sex life in prays too.goodluck
Useless whore!u re definitely sick upstairs,don't worry,ur own hubby dts if u ever have1 will masturbate b4 u nd even in public so u'll deal wt it2.aproko monkey like u!
My dear i hav nofin else 2 tell u dan 2 take ur hubby 2 the lord's Chosen, where the truth about sin nd dangers of sin shall be preached 2 him,where he will no d real harm he is doin himself...a world dey say is anof 4 d wise...our GOD na helele(GOD OF CHOSEN)
Hmmmm... There's nothing prayers can't solve. Get down on ur knees and pray for God to heal ur marital bed and I also tink u need to improve on ur sexuality, read more books, learn and hey... Don't hate ur hubby
Masturbation has its on spirit. That is why it is difficult to stop it even after marriage. He needs to be delivered of it. Good luck in your drive to help him overcome it.
Hating him is not the solution but keep advising and pestering him. Tell him how you feel and discuss with him as your sex life is poor. If he want to repent, he should discard or burn every tapes and de-register. Also, he should turn to God by reading holy book like Quran and Bible. As some said, keep praying for him too with love but you need to act, things that will reduce or stop the temptation.
Don't make the mistake of condemning YOUR HUSBAND or feeling morally superior. Does he love porn? Then join him in his interest. Bet you, he's looking for a porn star for a wife. Fulfill his fantasy and become his Jada Fire or Pinky or Cherokee Dass....join him to watch...and each time you both are at it, screw the living day light out of him...fuck him shege. He's your husband! Straddle him. Bang him cowgirl. Do to him what the porn stars do best. Fuck him to exhaustion and he will have no time for more porn. I mean fuck him black and blue!!!!Men watch porn when their sexual fantasies are not being fulfilled...
This your two things don't make sense at all...ahn ahn! cos he is masturbating means he is gay? How stupid can u be? How about the fact that he just likes it?....abeg give yourself btain!
Pornography is very addictive and quite difficult to break. However it can be stopped. From what you said your husband is not even willing to stop hence the excuses. The first step is him accepting he has a problem and the second is the effort he is willing to put to fight it. If he isn't sweetie it ain't gonna work. Also to stop an addiction, the addicts require a lot of support and love cos it will be a struggle and they need your encouragement. So hating him won't help,it will only push him further into it . He also needs a figure head who he can constantly talk to, like a pastor,a counselor or a psychologist. Most importantly the God factor, with him nothing is impossible.Best of lucK.
Good Lord! This woman has been married for 2 years to her husband and she found out that he is a porn and masturbation addict yet she still went ahead and had a baby with him? Anyway, a bit too late to be raking over the past now- She needs to talk to him seriously and deliver an ultimatium- you or the porn- if he chooses you, then list your conditions and that should include couples counselling. Prayers are good but your man also needs to make the effort- that is the only way God will answer his prayers and defeat the devil. Plus, restrict his access to the internet as well so that he does not have access to porn. Talk to your friends and family. You can find out more about porn addiction here:
Nigerians and prayer madness. Tell the poor girl what to do like aeeing a psychologist to help him with a therapy to stop the habit. All this our religious-madness jusy has to stop.
Heaven helps those who help themselves. ..your sex life is below average,like you said, then simply up your game...make it above average, don't leave it all up to GOD...help yourself first. Yemi
My dear no matter how acrobatic ur partner is in bed, you will still mastubate. I am an example, female and now married. I used to do it when i was single even after having sex with bf. I had to pray b4 God saved me.
its a serious problem and you have to tackle it spiritually, pray to God, seek help from a true man of God and not one dat will tell u to bring money or something in return. if u stay in lagos try and come to Winners Chapel and see a Pastor, they would gladly help you with all their heart.
Only God can help him. You efforts would only be in vain if not channeled to praying and fasting. I was once like that, believe me, it is almost impossible for one to help himself. It is like being entangled in a strong web that gives you no fighting chance. The person is helpless and strongly bound to an elusive world.A world that no other can imagine, except those that share the same fate. He is possessed by negative forces but is not visible to him. He thinks its just who he is and often times is attributed to high libido. LIE of the devil. I was entangled since i was 13 yrs which was 23 yrs ago and was only able to stop this year. Only GOD can do it, no man can. i dont think his situation is worse than mine so there is hope. Even if it is worse, there is nothing that GOD cannot do. You have to intensify your prayers for your husband, with the strong belief and faith that GOD would rid him of those thoughts and desires that are holding him bondage. You do not have to let in hatred into your heart cos he does not know what he is doing. Help him as his soul partner and friend, and do not let the enemy to achieve his set objective. Stand firm and take charge of your home and life. YOU ARE ALREADY VICTORIOUS. GOD BE WITH YOU.
Only God can help him. You efforts would only be in vain if not channeled to praying and fasting. I was once like that, believe me, it is almost impossible for one to help himself. It is like being entangled in a strong web that gives you no fighting chance. The person is helpless and strongly bound to an elusive world.A world that no other can imagine, except those that share the same fate. He is possessed by negative forces but is not visible to him. He thinks its just who he is and often times is attributed to high libido. LIE of the devil. I was entangled since i was 13 yrs which was 23 yrs ago and was only able to stop this year. Only GOD can do it, no man can. i dont think his situation is worse than mine so there is hope. Even if it is worse, there is nothing that GOD cannot do. You have to intensify your prayers for your husband, with the strong belief and faith that GOD would rid him of those thoughts and desires that are holding him bondage. You do not have to let in hatred into your heart cos he does not know what he is doing. Help him as his soul partner and friend, and do not let the enemy to achieve his set objective. Stand firm and take charge of your home and life. YOU ARE ALREADY VICTORIOUS. GOD BE WITH YOU.
I think wat u need is to deal with it in 2 ways : spiritually and sexually. Improve ur sexlife, thereby causing him to be distracted from porn. And improve ur prayers.
a married man masturbating? wow sis am sure u aint giving d dude what he needs on bed odawise why will sme choose to have sex with himself when him don buy d real thing wholesale.
A lot of people will say nonsense regarding this lady's question. However, porn is something a lot of men are struggling with. And I mean Christians, Muslims, and Atheists. The addiction is way deeper than viewing people having sex or showing of nudity.
For men, it's interesting to see naked women. It starts at childhood (sometimes at the age of 6). Somehow, it becomes an addiction and a release from the pressures of the Lagos. Even when you try so hard to fight it, you just keep falling in. No amount of great sex can take away the addiction. You wife can have a PhD in sex but your addition to porn and masturbation will remain till you make that decision to change.
Lady, God can change any situation. Do not hate your husband as that will only drive him deeper and deeper into his porn addiction. He needs help. Give it to him. One thing to note is that to porn addiction recovery takes time. It can take 1 year or even 2 years depending on how long he has had the addiction. In addition, you need to find out what he is actually struggling with. Most times, people use porn to escape stress, boredom, loneliness, pressures of work, anxiety, etc. Help him to deal with the root cause of this evil addiction.
First, he has to admit it is wrong to masturbate and watch porn and also see that its hurting the relationship, that is a major step. After that he has to be disciplined, begin to build up a resistance to porn n masturbation and this would require a lot of ur support and love to help him through it. Then, you have to meet him half way sexually. With his exposure to porn, his sexual proclivities might tend towards selfish satisfaction. So you have to be patient and understanding. But never fail to let him know how much you love him. Its doable, but he has to truly be willing to change that lifestyle.
You nigerians... HOW ABOUT giving her sound PRACTICAL advice like : LOOSE SOME WEIGHT, WEAR NICER THINGS AROUND YOUR HUSBAND, COOK AN APHRODISIAC, TALK ABOUT WHY HE LIKES PORN THAN YOU, FIX YOUR SCHEDULE so you are not ALWAYS BUSY for him, go to COUNSELLING, SPICE UP your sex life...
The man is doing it cause u allow it. He obviously has no respect for u or care about ur feelings. Take a hard stance againts it and tell him u will leave if he does not and be prepared to. Then tell the people he respects like his parents ,ur dad,pastor ,his best friend etc. If he has no shame u shouldn't either.exposure is the key. He should go to God in prayers. If he does not stop after all these then u will know the demons behinde these habits have total control.
Yes. Join him. Its an issue because its something he's doing on his own. If you're satisfying your husband he won't want to wank. My advice; buy some porn that works for you. He will be thrilled that you're sexually adventurous. Sex is very very vital in marriage. Good, open and fun sex helps keep a couple close because of the level of intimacy. My dear, you really don't sound like a sexy woman at all. Your husband will move on from porn to other women. The fault is yours.
I think the problem is with Naija girls, you people are serious prudes. You wouldnt know what to do with a dick even if it where staring you in the face 24/7. You come up with so many flimsy excuses not to have sex, and you think the man is going to sit back and allow you control his sexual life. my girl once tried that whole crap of coming up with excuses about sex, i masturbated and came in front of her. she cried her eyes out afterwards but you better believe we had a serious convo about our sex life and she aint gonna be coming up with excuses anytime soon. Even if you are not in the mood be romantic about it instead of been a mother about it. Guys dont need much to be satisfied and it is understandable that a woman cant always be in the mood and needs to be in the right mood and environment to be turned on. However, what you need to ask yourself is what will make a man who is married and is meant to have free pussy whenever he wants resort to porn and self gratification. it is easy to call him an addict, but i call BS on that and i ask you the wifey to check yourself; last time i checked pussy sweet pass hand.
I was lured into this act by my fwnd who watch porn all minute of the day, he has it on all of his devices. I joined and was addicted to it. After a long time I keep tinkin of it, how could a big guy lyk me be into dis shit, each tym I decided to quit a spirit in me wil force me and b4 I could knw, I don dey ahhhhh. Tank God for one gal I got during dat period bt she is married nw, I sex her sumtyms for and hour no droping, she always ask me if sumtin is wrong wit me bt I alone knws my problem and wil blame her for not opening very well until a faithful day, I summond some courage and share wit her my being addicted to masturbation and porn viewer, she beared wit me and supported me wit every tin. If u are into dis and would wnts to stop, take dis piece of shit and prAy ova it cos dia is a spirit behind it. Dnt always be ideal, enguage ur self in sumtin doing all tyms except going to bed tym, try and be takin ur bath jst for once cos so many pipo always start up b4 bath, dnt always stay at home, dnt always stay alone, try to open up to ur gal fwens so that they wil be comin to u at first call and then pray over it. For married pipo, wives always follow follow ur husband dnt give him breathing space to be alone, try to do nasty tings b4 u put dat stick into u, spit on it, wave it wit ur hand, play wit it and always let him beg u b4 u put it, try dis for a month and give ur testimony his ur husband and u can nat run from him. I tank God for mua cos de boy nw goes for seven to eight rounds before okokorokoooo. Exercise patience, pray over it and help over it sure it shall be well and it is the devils work.
Watch with him!help jerk him off or give him mind blowing sex! No reason to call God!communicate!ask him what hs sexual fantasies and desires are! Play act them out for him and if u need a little courage,a glass of brandy or whisky will do the trick!lol or you can go for councelling seek help!
At the risk of sounding exceptionally liberal, watch with him and perhaps act out some of what you are watching. Like someone else said, the 2 of you become the porn stars. At least you know he ain't checking outside so you can still use this to your advantage.
All human beings are addicted to one thing or the other. No need for pretenses here. I also watch porn and i do masturbate too. At least 3 or 4 times in a week. But i feel it is better and safer than fucking around. Some people actually derive real pleasure when they go solo.....I don't see why people will bring spirituality into it. lollllsss...Give your husband more Hot and exciting sex positions, watch the porn together with him....be more lively and creative...stop being Boring...try out new things...these are the ways you can make him to loose interest in Porn and masturbation...Your husband's problem does not have a cause for alarm...there are women out there whose husbands are Drunks, Drug Addicts...wife beater...chronic womanisers and worse things....so calm down and sice up your sex life with ur husband. no cause for alarm
All human beings are addicted to one thing or the other. No need for pretenses here. I also watch porn and i do masturbate too. At least 3 or 4 times in a week. But i feel it is better and safer than fucking around. Some people actually derive real pleasure when they go solo.....I don't see why people will bring spirituality into it. lollllsss...Give your husband more Hot and exciting sex positions, watch the porn together with him....be more lively and creative...stop being Boring...try out new things...these are the ways you can make him to loose interest in Porn and masturbation...Your husband's problem does not have a cause for alarm...there are women out there whose husbands are Drunks, Drug Addicts...wife beater...chronic womanisers and worse things....so calm down and sice up your sex life with ur husband. no cause for alarm
All human beings are addicted to one thing or the other. No need for pretenses here. I also watch porn and i do masturbate too. At least 3 or 4 times in a week. But i feel it is better and safer than fucking around. Some people actually derive real pleasure when they go solo.....I don't see why people will bring spirituality into it. lollllsss...Give your husband more Hot and exciting sex positions, watch the porn together with him....be more lively and creative...stop being Boring...try out new things...these are the ways you can make him to loose interest in Porn and masturbation...Your husband's problem does not have a cause for alarm...there are women out there whose husbands are Drunks, Drug Addicts...wife beater...chronic womanisers and worse things....so calm down and sice up your sex life with ur husband. no cause for alarm
linda plz wat did u give u readers....every body is been reasonable on dis, saying the same tin been praying to God about it...is like u hav treating thjem on how to respond to issue like dis....by the way make him see hw unhappy u r wit him doing it all the time and pray to God about it..
How can u be so daft to ask her to tell her mom and mom in law, are u kidding? This is marriage and such issues aren't to be shared with family cos its a bad omen. It's not every issue that u involve family members. She asked this question here to get opinions and she's anonymous to us so we can't look at her or her hubby and say " hey! That's d dude that loves to masturbate, or that's d woman who's hating her hubby"... so tomorrow of all things to tell their child is * your father jerks off and visits porn sites* Pls! if u don't have better advice ikpuchie onu!
Did I hear u say it's not an evil act? In as much as we buy that idea and say watch porn too doesn't justify that act. It's evil before God, it's an immoral act dude...
First, he has to admit it is wrong to masturbate and watch porn and also see that its hurting the relationship, that is a major step. After that he has to be disciplined, begin to build up a resistance to porn n masturbation and this would require a lot of ur support and love to help him through it. Then, you have to meet him half way sexually. With his exposure to porn, his sexual proclivities might tend towards selfish satisfaction. So you have to be patient and understanding. But never fail to let him know how much you love him. Its doable, but he has to truly be willing to change that lifestyle.
Woman check yourself and get off ur high horse. Your husband clearly enjoys non penetrative sex so why don't u talk him into replacing solo sex with blow jobs and handjobs from u. Trust me he will be very happy to give u a good head and enjoy penetrating sex more. Quit complaining and get to work
pls walk in d spirit, days are evil allow God to take control.report dis to ur church pastor and also put it in prayers + dry fasting and ask God to teach u what to do and reveal to u what is actually d problem cos most problems are from d foundation so u need to close to God almighty always for direction.
By the way, Na so Nigerians dey fail exam. The girl did not say the husband was addicted. She is just offended by the fact that he watches porn and masturbate. Nonsense!!! Unless a man has 3 to 4 different girls on rotation, he will watch porn and masturbate every now and then. There is nothing wrong with your man. Stop worrying yourself.
This is 2013, things have changed. I know a good sex therapist presently helping my fiance. We have been in therapy for some weeks and things are changing,I am beginning to see light at the end of the tunnel. I can't give you her number but her email is doclaitan@gmail.com. she is a medical doctor and psychiatrist too. Good luck dear. If you want change, get professional help.
My dear, the truth is that he needs you to be more adventurous in bed, not to just lay there like a log of wood. participate more and do all you can to keep him occupied. when we men do what he is doing, it is with hopes that the lady in the porn movie can be the one we are actually making love to. i wouldn't be surprised if he gets an erection from the movies and cannot sustain one with you. i would advice you learn a thing or two from these porn movies he watches (in terms of styles) and most importantly, try moaning in bed.......if you usually don't. you will be amazed to see how much he can get turned on by you for this.
Idiot! If you had spent the time you used to type this silly tale to give your husband a blow job, you won't even have a problem. Overdose your man with sex or leave with his addiction. Your choice!
i feel your pain my dear sister. you need to take this seriously. its not something to be hidden. talk to others who you think can help.then you need professional counselling. its a terrible addiction, you also need to pray to God to help you. its a combinastion of physical and spiritual therapy. God will help and keep your home.
Divorce him or stop complaining. And don't be mad when he gets ur maid pregnant or sexually abuse ur child. Learn not to blame urself for his addiction. And remember u can never change him. Its better to leave him now cos u will be more hurt in future. Its not good to marry a man with any form of addiction.
Maam,I suggest u check ur self out b4 praying,funny thing u might b one of d reasons he's masturbating nd watchin Porn,but u should hav also noticed dis wen u guys were courting,cus Masturbatn and watchin porn no b wetin dey start overnight,if u are sure u are meeting his sexual needs(dats if u truly knw wat it means)as in givin it to him anytime he needs,and of course u can't give him everytime @ least if u re meeting 90% of his bed needs,then he doesn't hav any reason and dats when u really need to seek God,but if u dnt allow ur husband to make love to u always,backin him on bed most of d time,if u giv him unnecessary excuse wen he's suPpose to b banging ur brains out and u think the next tin to do is to kneel down and pray,well if u prayin to God to increase ur libido no P,bt if u prayin for ur husband to drop those act,u re wasting precious time and moments dat should be spent on d bed F*****G
i will suggest you help him spiritually through prayer.........God will take control.you can also visit my blog at www.abdulkarimgolfblog.wordpress.com
Luk ur hubby is highly sick neva indulge in watchin it wit him bicose u wil b affected 2 take him 4 councelling & pray if d art or sex is spritual btw husband &wife as design by God so is own abnormal method is spiritual & nid spiritual dose 4 man is made of sprit soul&bodi get it dear c him as a dead man 4 now & hold bodi wit time u wil get ova d urge & face ur child alongside help him deal wit his problem
This is 2013, things have changed. I know a good sex therapist presently helping my fiance. We have been in therapy for some weeks and things are changing,I am beginning to see light at the end of the tunnel. I can't give you her number but her email is doclaitan@gmail.com. she is a medical doctor and psychiatrist too. Good luck dear. If you want change, get professional help.
People, she had asked for good advice, yet it's clear that allot of the commentators are female and cant reeeally help out in this matter; or simply have no phuckin clue of an idea how to solve the problem... hence all the ambiguous prayer talks. How about we keep it real for God's sake?! Here’s a Real Solution for you...
It is clear that your husband has taken a liking to watching the act of sex performed by professional cum guzzlers (porn terminology that is used to describe a woman who enjoys consuming loads of sperm whether in the mouth, pussy, or asshole; all simply for just enjoyment) and likes to masturbate to VISUALLY stimulating sex, like the rest of us grown ass men do. This doesn't necessarily mean that you are not sexually satisfying or that he doesn't find you attractive. It actually might have nothing to do with that. It simply means, like most guys, he is attracted to what he sees and likes to be in control of when, where, and how his sexual desires are satisfied. Let’s be honest, most chicks, especially African girls, are always ready to put a strict limit to the sexual activities they're will to perform and the amount... the only time a “limited edition model” is a thing a guy doesn’t want. ANYWAYS!!! Truth be told, porn will never tell you "im tired", "wait, im not in the mood tonight honey", "REMOVE YOUR HAND OUT OF MY P*SSY, it is not a toy!", or whatever annoying BS these chicks be saying nowadays; on the contrary. In fact, it’s always available and ready to visually simulate the imagination and deep desires. He can select from whichever culture or ethnicity, height, breast size etc etc. Yes, you will never be able to compete with all the girls on the internet today, but the difference is that you are REAL! You could be his wife and his one and only pornstar if you wanted!
I would like to share the words of the great philosopher Sun Tzu (who wrote the 'Art of War' for all u dummies :P) "The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting" and he also said “If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle”. Now i want you to substitute the word "Porn" for the word "enemy" and attack the problem as such. My suggestion to you is one that results as a win win situation for the both of you and also keeps your relationship steamy hot. But it will require you to have an open mind as your about to get ur Kim Kardasian freak on(side joke) *lol* You love your husband right? You want your marriage to work right? Your husband has a porn addiction right? Ok, so instead of hating him for doing something that he has obviously enjoys and has been doing way before he met you, why not know thou enemy? to go further, you should even embrace it. What do i mean embrace the enemy? Well if u were able to put your ego and self-esteem to the side for a moment and the rest of that BS that will only lead u to being single the rest of your days, you might realize that you actually have the opportunity to make your relationship much MUCH stronger. Just by becoming open minded and allowing the idea of performing your own erotic movies for private viewing could be what your man is looking for.
284 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 284 of 284Lol,funny but wicked!!
Since u guyz sexlife is below average then I suspect he knows it and that's an escape for him instead of exposing his sexual flaw again...so get him HERBAL aphrodisiacs n others that elongates ejaculation but make sure its herbal then sits him down and tell him what u feel about him doing it and ask if he's ashame of anything and if there's anything he really wants to upgrage of have about himself that is making him indulge in it...let him know how u r so willing to help him achieve it...another thing I want to ask is; is he into gay pornography? Or the ones he watches are extreme? I can tell he really lacks something...it could be freaky and intense sex that u not willing to engage in or that he can't make manifest cos he needs herbal boost......when u talk to him don't be confrontational but as submissive partner in crime...he needs prayer too
Gbamest. Seconded
My dear na real wa!!girl go learn new tricks,watch d porn with him and try to make him do u instead of wanking off.help ur sex life and add some spice to it.then put it in prayers cos heaven helps those who help themselves.
I like dis,everyone is talking about asking God for help and all dat.am not saying dat God won't help,but remember heaven helps those who help themselves.help ur marriage by giving him mind blowing sex!!am sure he would then prefer it to porn.cos it didn,t start now,he got used to porn and masturbation cos he wasn,t getting enough sex or sometin.remember sex is a tin of d mind.its gonna take some time for him to change cos it,s become a habit for him.if u have to learn new tricks,pls do!!then put ur sex life in prays too.goodluck
Yes na. Shebi dem say no money no romance. Now u don see money and now wants luv. Watever u sow baby
Useless whore!u re definitely sick upstairs,don't worry,ur own hubby dts if u ever have1 will masturbate b4 u nd even in public so u'll deal wt it2.aproko monkey like u!
My Dear Watch it with Him. He is your man.
too much is baddddddddddddd. he may be addicted, this is now in the realm of prayer and fasting o. its well
The best comment so far
My dear i hav nofin else 2 tell u dan 2 take ur hubby 2 the lord's Chosen, where the truth about sin nd dangers of sin shall be preached 2 him,where he will no d real harm he is doin himself...a world dey say is anof 4 d wise...our GOD na helele(GOD OF CHOSEN)
Hmmmm... There's nothing prayers can't solve. Get down on ur knees and pray for God to heal ur marital bed and I also tink u need to improve on ur sexuality, read more books, learn and hey... Don't hate ur hubby
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Masturbation has its on spirit. That is why it is difficult to stop it even after marriage. He needs to be delivered of it. Good luck in your drive to help him overcome it.
Hating him is not the solution but keep advising and pestering him. Tell him how you feel and discuss with him as your sex life is poor. If he want to repent, he should discard or burn every tapes and de-register. Also, he should turn to God by reading holy book like Quran and Bible. As some said, keep praying for him too with love but you need to act, things that will reduce or stop the temptation.
Don't make the mistake of condemning YOUR HUSBAND or feeling morally superior. Does he love porn? Then join him in his interest. Bet you, he's looking for a porn star for a wife. Fulfill his fantasy and become his Jada Fire or Pinky or Cherokee Dass....join him to watch...and each time you both are at it, screw the living day light out of him...fuck him shege. He's your husband! Straddle him. Bang him cowgirl. Do to him what the porn stars do best. Fuck him to exhaustion and he will have no time for more porn. I mean fuck him black and blue!!!!Men watch porn when their sexual fantasies are not being fulfilled...
This your two things don't make sense at all...ahn ahn! cos he is masturbating means he is gay? How stupid can u be? How about the fact that he just likes it?....abeg give yourself btain!
Pornography is very addictive and quite difficult to break. However it can be stopped. From what you said your husband is not even willing to stop hence the excuses. The first step is him accepting he has a problem and the second is the effort he is willing to put to fight it. If he isn't sweetie it ain't gonna work. Also to stop an addiction, the addicts require a lot of support and love cos it will be a struggle and they need your encouragement. So hating him won't help,it will only push him further into it . He also needs a figure head who he can constantly talk to, like a pastor,a counselor or a psychologist. Most importantly the God factor, with him nothing is impossible.Best of lucK.
Good Lord! This woman has been married for 2 years to her husband and she found out that he is a porn and masturbation addict yet she still went ahead and had a baby with him? Anyway, a bit too late to be raking over the past now- She needs to talk to him seriously and deliver an ultimatium- you or the porn- if he chooses you, then list your conditions and that should include couples counselling. Prayers are good but your man also needs to make the effort- that is the only way God will answer his prayers and defeat the devil. Plus, restrict his access to the internet as well so that he does not have access to porn. Talk to your friends and family. You can find out more about porn addiction here:
http://www.sexualrecovery.com/pornography-addiction.php
Nigerians and prayer madness. Tell the poor girl what to do like aeeing a psychologist to help him with a therapy to stop the habit. All this our religious-madness jusy has to stop.
Fcuk his brains out!u de come LIB find solution.nxt pls
Heaven helps those who help themselves. ..your sex life is below average,like you said, then simply up your game...make it above average, don't leave it all up to GOD...help yourself first. Yemi
Linda all ths ur questions u de post so.I dey suspect u e fit be sayna ur bf,u cme here dey lie*
My dear no matter how acrobatic ur partner is in bed, you will still mastubate. I am an example, female and now married. I used to do it when i was single even after having sex with bf. I had to pray b4 God saved me.
Start watching it with him, when he wants to wank suck him off. Get active about ur sex life, you sound LAZY
Watch it with him and help him 2 masturbate....I swear he will love you
its a serious problem and you have to tackle it spiritually, pray to God, seek help from a true man of God and not one dat will tell u to bring money or something in return. if u stay in lagos try and come to Winners Chapel and see a Pastor, they would gladly help you with all their heart.
Only God can help him. You efforts would only be in vain if not channeled to praying and fasting. I was once like that, believe me, it is almost impossible for one to help himself. It is like being entangled in a strong web that gives you no fighting chance. The person is helpless and strongly bound to an elusive world.A world that no other can imagine, except those that share the same fate. He is possessed by negative forces but is not visible to him. He thinks its just who he is and often times is attributed to high libido. LIE of the devil.
I was entangled since i was 13 yrs which was 23 yrs ago and was only able to stop this year. Only GOD can do it, no man can. i dont think his situation is worse than mine so there is hope. Even if it is worse, there is nothing that GOD cannot do.
You have to intensify your prayers for your husband, with the strong belief and faith that GOD would rid him of those thoughts and desires that are holding him bondage. You do not have to let in hatred into your heart cos he does not know what he is doing. Help him as his soul partner and friend, and do not let the enemy to achieve his set objective. Stand firm and take charge of your home and life.
YOU ARE ALREADY VICTORIOUS.
GOD BE WITH YOU.
Only God can help him. You efforts would only be in vain if not channeled to praying and fasting. I was once like that, believe me, it is almost impossible for one to help himself. It is like being entangled in a strong web that gives you no fighting chance. The person is helpless and strongly bound to an elusive world.A world that no other can imagine, except those that share the same fate. He is possessed by negative forces but is not visible to him. He thinks its just who he is and often times is attributed to high libido. LIE of the devil.
I was entangled since i was 13 yrs which was 23 yrs ago and was only able to stop this year. Only GOD can do it, no man can. i dont think his situation is worse than mine so there is hope. Even if it is worse, there is nothing that GOD cannot do.
You have to intensify your prayers for your husband, with the strong belief and faith that GOD would rid him of those thoughts and desires that are holding him bondage. You do not have to let in hatred into your heart cos he does not know what he is doing. Help him as his soul partner and friend, and do not let the enemy to achieve his set objective. Stand firm and take charge of your home and life.
YOU ARE ALREADY VICTORIOUS.
GOD BE WITH YOU.
U are just a senseless fool. So she should commit a sin to please a man.if the man is a killer,the wife should join him? U are just evil.
I think wat u need is to deal with it in 2 ways : spiritually and sexually. Improve ur sexlife, thereby causing him to be distracted from porn. And improve ur prayers.
candeohealthysexuality.com
Rubbish....:......:........
Pray, pray, pray n pray again. God is d only solution. May God u oh
a married man masturbating? wow sis am sure u aint giving d dude what he needs on bed odawise why will sme choose to have sex with himself when him don buy d real thing wholesale.
A lot of people will say nonsense regarding this lady's question. However, porn is something a lot of men are struggling with. And I mean Christians, Muslims, and Atheists. The addiction is way deeper than viewing people having sex or showing of nudity.
For men, it's interesting to see naked women. It starts at childhood (sometimes at the age of 6). Somehow, it becomes an addiction and a release from the pressures of the Lagos. Even when you try so hard to fight it, you just keep falling in. No amount of great sex can take away the addiction. You wife can have a PhD in sex but your addition to porn and masturbation will remain till you make that decision to change.
Lady, God can change any situation. Do not hate your husband as that will only drive him deeper and deeper into his porn addiction. He needs help. Give it to him. One thing to note is that to porn addiction recovery takes time. It can take 1 year or even 2 years depending on how long he has had the addiction. In addition, you need to find out what he is actually struggling with. Most times, people use porn to escape stress, boredom, loneliness, pressures of work, anxiety, etc. Help him to deal with the root cause of this evil addiction.
The website below will be helpful to him.
www.settingcaptivesfree.com
www.candeohealthysexuality.com
www.xxxchurch.com
First, he has to admit it is wrong to masturbate and watch porn and also see that its hurting the relationship, that is a major step. After that he has to be disciplined, begin to build up a resistance to porn n masturbation and this would require a lot of ur support and love to help him through it. Then, you have to meet him half way sexually. With his exposure to porn, his sexual proclivities might tend towards selfish satisfaction. So you have to be patient and understanding. But never fail to let him know how much you love him. Its doable, but he has to truly be willing to change that lifestyle.
You nigerians... HOW ABOUT giving her sound PRACTICAL advice like : LOOSE SOME WEIGHT, WEAR NICER THINGS AROUND YOUR HUSBAND, COOK AN APHRODISIAC, TALK ABOUT WHY HE LIKES PORN THAN YOU, FIX YOUR SCHEDULE so you are not ALWAYS BUSY for him, go to COUNSELLING, SPICE UP your sex life...
You gotta be prayerful dear! Prayer does everything
The man is doing it cause u allow it. He obviously has no respect for u or care about ur feelings. Take a hard stance againts it and tell him u will leave if he does not and be prepared to. Then tell the people he respects like his parents ,ur dad,pastor ,his best friend etc. If he has no shame u shouldn't either.exposure is the key. He should go to God in prayers. If he does not stop after all these then u will know the demons behinde these habits have total control.
Shut up! Like u don't knw u won't find out up to 50% of ones characta b4 marriage. Well,how can u knw? U aint married.
Idiota! U shd remove any name relatin to Christ from ur name.
Shut up! Like u don't knw u won't find out up to 50% of ones characta b4 marriage. Well,how can u knw? U aint married.
Yes. Join him. Its an issue because its something he's doing on his own. If you're satisfying your husband he won't want to wank. My advice; buy some porn that works for you. He will be thrilled that you're sexually adventurous. Sex is very very vital in marriage. Good, open and fun sex helps keep a couple close because of the level of intimacy. My dear, you really don't sound like a sexy woman at all. Your husband will move on from porn to other women. The fault is yours.
Gbam
I think the problem is with Naija girls, you people are serious prudes. You wouldnt know what to do with a dick even if it where staring you in the face 24/7. You come up with so many flimsy excuses not to have sex, and you think the man is going to sit back and allow you control his sexual life. my girl once tried that whole crap of coming up with excuses about sex, i masturbated and came in front of her. she cried her eyes out afterwards but you better believe we had a serious convo about our sex life and she aint gonna be coming up with excuses anytime soon. Even if you are not in the mood be romantic about it instead of been a mother about it. Guys dont need much to be satisfied and it is understandable that a woman cant always be in the mood and needs to be in the right mood and environment to be turned on. However, what you need to ask yourself is what will make a man who is married and is meant to have free pussy whenever he wants resort to porn and self gratification. it is easy to call him an addict, but i call BS on that and i ask you the wifey to check yourself; last time i checked pussy sweet pass hand.
U foolish o eve....kip reporting ur husband's secret to outsiders n c if u won't end up a divorcee.....okoko tufiaaa
I was lured into this act by my fwnd who watch porn all minute of the day, he has it on all of his devices. I joined and was addicted to it. After a long time I keep tinkin of it, how could a big guy lyk me be into dis shit, each tym I decided to quit a spirit in me wil force me and b4 I could knw, I don dey ahhhhh. Tank God for one gal I got during dat period bt she is married nw, I sex her sumtyms for and hour no droping, she always ask me if sumtin is wrong wit me bt I alone knws my problem and wil blame her for not opening very well until a faithful day, I summond some courage and share wit her my being addicted to masturbation and porn viewer, she beared wit me and supported me wit every tin. If u are into dis and would wnts to stop, take dis piece of shit and prAy ova it cos dia is a spirit behind it. Dnt always be ideal, enguage ur self in sumtin doing all tyms except going to bed tym, try and be takin ur bath jst for once cos so many pipo always start up b4 bath, dnt always stay at home, dnt always stay alone, try to open up to ur gal fwens so that they wil be comin to u at first call and then pray over it. For married pipo, wives always follow follow ur husband dnt give him breathing space to be alone, try to do nasty tings b4 u put dat stick into u, spit on it, wave it wit ur hand, play wit it and always let him beg u b4 u put it, try dis for a month and give ur testimony his ur husband and u can nat run from him. I tank God for mua cos de boy nw goes for seven to eight rounds before okokorokoooo. Exercise patience, pray over it and help over it sure it shall be well and it is the devils work.
U re foolish
Watch with him!help jerk him off or give him mind blowing sex! No reason to call God!communicate!ask him what hs sexual fantasies and desires are! Play act them out for him and if u need a little courage,a glass of brandy or whisky will do the trick!lol or you can go for councelling seek help!
At the risk of sounding exceptionally liberal, watch with him and perhaps act out some of what you are watching. Like someone else said, the 2 of you become the porn stars. At least you know he ain't checking outside so you can still use this to your advantage.
All human beings are addicted to one thing or the other. No need for pretenses here. I also watch porn and i do masturbate too. At least 3 or 4 times in a week. But i feel it is better and safer than fucking around. Some people actually derive real pleasure when they go solo.....I don't see why people will bring spirituality into it. lollllsss...Give your husband more Hot and exciting sex positions, watch the porn together with him....be more lively and creative...stop being Boring...try out new things...these are the ways you can make him to loose interest in Porn and masturbation...Your husband's problem does not have a cause for alarm...there are women out there whose husbands are Drunks, Drug Addicts...wife beater...chronic womanisers and worse things....so calm down and sice up your sex life with ur husband. no cause for alarm
All human beings are addicted to one thing or the other. No need for pretenses here. I also watch porn and i do masturbate too. At least 3 or 4 times in a week. But i feel it is better and safer than fucking around. Some people actually derive real pleasure when they go solo.....I don't see why people will bring spirituality into it. lollllsss...Give your husband more Hot and exciting sex positions, watch the porn together with him....be more lively and creative...stop being Boring...try out new things...these are the ways you can make him to loose interest in Porn and masturbation...Your husband's problem does not have a cause for alarm...there are women out there whose husbands are Drunks, Drug Addicts...wife beater...chronic womanisers and worse things....so calm down and sice up your sex life with ur husband. no cause for alarm
All human beings are addicted to one thing or the other. No need for pretenses here. I also watch porn and i do masturbate too. At least 3 or 4 times in a week. But i feel it is better and safer than fucking around. Some people actually derive real pleasure when they go solo.....I don't see why people will bring spirituality into it. lollllsss...Give your husband more Hot and exciting sex positions, watch the porn together with him....be more lively and creative...stop being Boring...try out new things...these are the ways you can make him to loose interest in Porn and masturbation...Your husband's problem does not have a cause for alarm...there are women out there whose husbands are Drunks, Drug Addicts...wife beater...chronic womanisers and worse things....so calm down and sice up your sex life with ur husband. no cause for alarm
linda plz wat did u give u readers....every body is been reasonable on dis, saying the same tin been praying to God about it...is like u hav treating thjem on how to respond to issue like dis....by the way make him see hw unhappy u r wit him doing it all the time and pray to God about it..
Anon 3:31 it is counseling. Olodo
Looooool at anon 4:20 p.m
How can u be so daft to ask her to tell her mom and mom in law, are u kidding? This is marriage and such issues aren't to be shared with family cos its a bad omen. It's not every issue that u involve family members. She asked this question here to get opinions and she's anonymous to us so we can't look at her or her hubby and say " hey! That's d dude that loves to masturbate, or that's d woman who's hating her hubby"... so tomorrow of all things to tell their child is * your father jerks off and visits porn sites* Pls! if u don't have better advice ikpuchie onu!
Did I hear u say it's not an evil act? In as much as we buy that idea and say watch porn too doesn't justify that act. It's evil before God, it's an immoral act dude...
First, he has to admit it is wrong to masturbate and watch porn and also see that its hurting the relationship, that is a major step. After that he has to be disciplined, begin to build up a resistance to porn n masturbation and this would require a lot of ur support and love to help him through it. Then, you have to meet him half way sexually. With his exposure to porn, his sexual proclivities might tend towards selfish satisfaction. So you have to be patient and understanding. But never fail to let him know how much you love him. Its doable, but he has to truly be willing to change that lifestyle.
My dear pls talk to God in bended knees...and make sure u give him all the attention he desires. Also talk to a Councillor for help.
Woman check yourself and get off ur high horse. Your husband clearly enjoys non penetrative sex so why don't u talk him into replacing solo sex with blow jobs and handjobs from u. Trust me he will be very happy to give u a good head and enjoy penetrating sex more. Quit complaining and get to work
pls walk in d spirit, days are evil allow God to take control.report dis to ur church pastor and also put it in prayers + dry fasting and ask God to teach u what to do and reveal to u what is actually d problem cos most problems are from d foundation so u need to close to God almighty always for direction.
shoot his bloody skull
Olodo!!! It is sex not sexy!!!
Answer is the word. Olodo!
Olodo! You can't spell!!
By the way, Na so Nigerians dey fail exam. The girl did not say the husband was addicted. She is just offended by the fact that he watches porn and masturbate. Nonsense!!! Unless a man has 3 to 4 different girls on rotation, he will watch porn and masturbate every now and then. There is nothing wrong with your man. Stop worrying yourself.
This is 2013, things have changed. I know a good sex therapist presently helping my fiance. We have been in therapy for some weeks and things are changing,I am beginning to see light at the end of the tunnel. I can't give you her number but her email is doclaitan@gmail.com. she is a medical doctor and psychiatrist too. Good luck dear. If you want change, get professional help.
crazy dude he shld get help from doclaitan... www.doclaitan.blogspot.com
My dear, the truth is that he needs you to be more adventurous in bed, not to just lay there like a log of wood. participate more and do all you can to keep him occupied. when we men do what he is doing, it is with hopes that the lady in the porn movie can be the one we are actually making love to. i wouldn't be surprised if he gets an erection from the movies and cannot sustain one with you. i would advice you learn a thing or two from these porn movies he watches (in terms of styles) and most importantly, try moaning in bed.......if you usually don't. you will be amazed to see how much he can get turned on by you for this.
Idiot! If you had spent the time you used to type this silly tale to give your husband a blow job, you won't even have a problem. Overdose your man with sex or leave with his addiction. Your choice!
one thing PRAYERS
@lwkmd_naija
(twitter/instagram)
i feel your pain my dear sister. you need to take this seriously. its not something to be hidden. talk to others who you think can help.then you need professional counselling. its a terrible addiction, you also need to pray to God to help you. its a combinastion of physical and spiritual therapy. God will help and keep your home.
Sex him 3 tyms a day.
Divorce him or stop complaining. And don't be mad when he gets ur maid pregnant or sexually abuse ur child. Learn not to blame urself for his addiction. And remember u can never change him. Its better to leave him now cos u will be more hurt in future. Its not good to marry a man with any form of addiction.
search for a movie titled "fireproof" and watch it together with him...survey says its helped a lot of couples in that aspect...
Maam,I suggest u check ur self out b4 praying,funny thing u might b one of d reasons he's masturbating nd watchin Porn,but u should hav also noticed dis wen u guys were courting,cus Masturbatn and watchin porn no b wetin dey start overnight,if u are sure u are meeting his sexual needs(dats if u truly knw wat it means)as in givin it to him anytime he needs,and of course u can't give him everytime @ least if u re meeting 90% of his bed needs,then he doesn't hav any reason and dats when u really need to seek God,but if u dnt allow ur husband to make love to u always,backin him on bed most of d time,if u giv him unnecessary excuse wen he's suPpose to b banging ur brains out and u think the next tin to do is to kneel down and pray,well if u prayin to God to increase ur libido no P,bt if u prayin for ur husband to drop those act,u re wasting precious time and moments dat should be spent on d bed F*****G
**Peace In********
my dear,make him ur whore,prayers to it.
i will suggest you help him spiritually through prayer.........God will take control.you can also visit my blog at www.abdulkarimgolfblog.wordpress.com
please leave him alone and look for another guy cos he cant stop it.richie alvin 21cf8992
Luk ur hubby is highly sick neva indulge in watchin it wit him bicose u wil b affected 2 take him 4 councelling & pray if d art or sex is spritual btw husband &wife as design by God so is own abnormal method is spiritual & nid spiritual dose 4 man is made of sprit soul&bodi get it dear c him as a dead man 4 now & hold bodi wit time u wil get ova d urge & face ur child alongside help him deal wit his problem
This is 2013, things have changed. I know a good sex therapist presently helping my fiance. We have been in therapy for some weeks and things are changing,I am beginning to see light at the end of the tunnel. I can't give you her number but her email is doclaitan@gmail.com. she is a medical doctor and psychiatrist too. Good luck dear. If you want change, get professional help.
Huh??? Ignorant responses.
People, she had asked for good advice, yet it's clear that allot of the commentators are female and cant reeeally help out in this matter; or simply have no phuckin clue of an idea how to solve the problem... hence all the ambiguous prayer talks. How about we keep it real for God's sake?! Here’s a Real Solution for you...
It is clear that your husband has taken a liking to watching the act of sex performed by professional cum guzzlers (porn terminology that is used to describe a woman who enjoys consuming loads of sperm whether in the mouth, pussy, or asshole; all simply for just enjoyment) and likes to masturbate to VISUALLY stimulating sex, like the rest of us grown ass men do. This doesn't necessarily mean that you are not sexually satisfying or that he doesn't find you attractive. It actually might have nothing to do with that. It simply means, like most guys, he is attracted to what he sees and likes to be in control of when, where, and how his sexual desires are satisfied. Let’s be honest, most chicks, especially African girls, are always ready to put a strict limit to the sexual activities they're will to perform and the amount... the only time a “limited edition model” is a thing a guy doesn’t want. ANYWAYS!!! Truth be told, porn will never tell you "im tired", "wait, im not in the mood tonight honey", "REMOVE YOUR HAND OUT OF MY P*SSY, it is not a toy!", or whatever annoying BS these chicks be saying nowadays; on the contrary. In fact, it’s always available and ready to visually simulate the imagination and deep desires. He can select from whichever culture or ethnicity, height, breast size etc etc. Yes, you will never be able to compete with all the girls on the internet today, but the difference is that you are REAL! You could be his wife and his one and only pornstar if you wanted!
I would like to share the words of the great philosopher Sun Tzu (who wrote the 'Art of War' for all u dummies :P) "The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting" and he also said “If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle”. Now i want you to substitute the word "Porn" for the word "enemy" and attack the problem as such.
My suggestion to you is one that results as a win win situation for the both of you and also keeps your relationship steamy hot. But it will require you to have an open mind as your about to get ur Kim Kardasian freak on(side joke) *lol*
You love your husband right? You want your marriage to work right? Your husband has a porn addiction right? Ok, so instead of hating him for doing something that he has obviously enjoys and has been doing way before he met you, why not know thou enemy? to go further, you should even embrace it. What do i mean embrace the enemy? Well if u were able to put your ego and self-esteem to the side for a moment and the rest of that BS that will only lead u to being single the rest of your days, you might realize that you actually have the opportunity to make your relationship much MUCH stronger. Just by becoming open minded and allowing the idea of performing your own erotic movies for private viewing could be what your man is looking for.
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