Dear LIB readers; can you fall in love with your hubby later?
From a female LIB reader
There's this fellow that wants to marry me but I am not in love with him, I do not even find him attractive but he's a catch, asin he has a good job, he's well behaved and he really loves me. My family and friends say I should accept his proposal, that love will come later. If I don't feel anything special for him now, will it come after I marry him? I don't want to be in loveless marriage so I am wary of entering this union. Please advice
Ifea akuko ndi mgbe ochie! Why wud u marry someone u don't love? Or u Don De turn aunty gwegs? U don't have a choice anymore? Abeg shiftuo! Na despies De do dis kain tin
If you don't love him now, you don't even find him attractive in any way, then don't marry him. You will only torture him and make yourselves miserable
First of all, why don't u get to know him before marriage. Go out together, chat often too. During that time u might get to know if he's the kinda person u want as a life partner. Personally though, i would love to marry a man that loves and cherishes me more than i do him. It is easier for a woman to grow to love a man who adores her than for a man to grow to love a woman, especially after marriage.
Nne this sounds exactly like my story. I married a very good man I'm not in love with nor finds attractive. He loves me and takes good care of me and our kids. We've been together for 4yrs now and I still don't love him. I'm just used to him. We're living fine but that little butterflies in the stomach love ain't there for me at all. I'm a faithful wife and I've accepted the faith of living like this forever. Yours may turn out same way.
Depends on d definition u gave the whole ish.. It works that way for some ppl, atleast I'v witnessed that some couple of times.. But then that it works for others doesn't mean it will work for u... Its better u check within urself αи∂ know if u really wanna marry now or cos ur parents are on ur neck. If ur sure u won't feel anything for d guy later, then allow him to marry sm1 that will love him like he deserve... A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage.
This is a gamble, love can be cultivated, and there is also the possibility that you will end up hating him the more. Anyway life is full of risk, but we are advised to take reasonable risks.
GLOW UP MY DEAR YOU ARE ALREADY FEELING SOMETHING .......... .. DON'T LOOK FOR EXCUSE FOR YOUR INABILITY OR FEAR OF RESPONSIBILITY........ SURE NOT ALL WILL MAKE A GOOD HOME
If you don't love him now, you will never love him. If you are capable of loving, then you can focus on his good and bad attributes (courtship), and see if you can cope with them or love them before acceptance. Remember marriage is a life time, divorce shouldn't be your watchword.
Please don't. Love will not come after marriage instead, u need to love him first before deciding to get married to him. Why the rush in the first place? Get to know him well, be friends with him and let things fall in the right places before u go ahead with the marriage. All the best darling
Well, my suggestion is you first get to know him and spend time with him. Date him for sometime, getting to know him may change how you feel. But please dont go into a loveless marriage so you dont end up cheating on your husband! all the best!
I think you should pray before you make your decision... those physical things you referred to as " a catch" can not sustain your marriage if the storms of life hit..
I would advise u not to accept him bcoz if u dnt luv him u'll av no option dan to start cheating on him. Money cannot buy luv, dre iz no amount of money dt he'll shower on u dt would coz u to luv him
I think you should pray before you make your decision... those physical things you referred to as " a catch" can not sustain your marriage if the storms of life hit..
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Foolishness has no bounds .... You want the one that u will love and he will treat you like a bitch ..... Some women bring problems to themselves... Put ur mind to it and love will come
Marry someone u love not just someone that loves u. If u don't love him, certainly u cannot tolerate him or forgive him when he wrongs u. But on d other hand, only what can make u love him after marriage is if there is mutual likeness n he has d characters u admire in a man. My dear, marriage is deeper than just being a good catch n all those things u think. He must have d ability to make u smile even when u r so angry with him. Ur mere look at him must b satisfactory to u.
Oleeee trust me no love after marrige, if u can't love him now u will end being in a loveless marriage n cheat sure u don't wanna do datt cos u can't pretend forever, free d man jeje
My dear, marry who u love now. Love may never come later. Don't live with regrets. Don't marry him because of superficial things. All those may vanish. Then what? What if u never love him? ? Please be wise. Forget what family/friends say. U are the one entering someone's home not them. Mo-1
The love may come, it may not come. But to be on the safe side, try to love him before marriage, still date him for some time, don't rush into marriage like that, if you still don't love him, then don't marry him.
Love is a verb! An action! Not a feeling! Movie directors have brainwashed people into thinking it's a feeling! Feelings change as the situation changes. My view is that you are either comfortable with the person's behaviour and you chose to love the person or you pray about it and if God directs you to marry the person, you also chose to love them
dont dear it. if u dont love him now then u will never love again even if he get u a private jet to take to work. Love is a thing of the mind ok. move on except u have a change of heart.
My dear love is something that is built, if d man loves u,respect u,understands u,marry him...cos so many marriages dat began with love r ending now cos love has left d marriage, love is not everything in a marriage I assure u
To love is a decision and not just a feeling that come upon us (not saying it is bad to feelings too). if it is just a feeling, what happen when the feeling is no more? God command is children to love because He knows they can chose to love. I will not advise you to marry the person you are not attracted to but i will say you must love the person you marry. You should decide if i marry this person i am going to love him/her, that is very important.
If you don't love him, then don't marry him. Still take time to date and know one another more and if you still don't feel anything special, let him go because money can't buy happiness all the time. If he loses the good job and financial stability, you will really hate his guts and be miserable. Don't do it! www.bunmisimplesblog.com
Am guessing u are way overdue for marriage if not ur family wouldn't be supporting u to marry someone u don't love. Or mayb u are the overly fussy type so dey just want you to settle and not end up single at 40
Hello you. That story of yours is a little different from mine. I met my husband 17 yrs ago and it wasn't love at first sight. He was everything a woman would want in a man and I knew my family would love him. It was perfect. I made myself love him and it has been so up until March when I came across someone. It was an instant crush and I quenched it as fast as possible. This September I was going through depression and I couldn't find succour. I thought of this person and I re-established contact. Hmmmm. Now I finally know what the Romance writers mean when they talk about being in love. It finally happened to me.m as in, electric sparks, butterflies in the stomach and much more. The condemers will be quick to scream *Adulterer*. Lol. I don't mind. The good thing is that I won't cheat on my husband physically but emotionally I will. So my dear, 17 years after a happy marriage I can only tell you that you can get married TO LOVE but you don't need to be married to be IN LOVE. Its so sweet, it hurts.
My dear what else do you want from a guy. He is well behaved, has a good job and loves you. I think that's every ladies dream. Or do you preffer the flashy handsome guy that is rude and doesn't really care much about you except for what he stands to gain. I am guy and I always advise my fellow guys to marry a girl that loves you more than you love her. Because any guy that marrys a girl he loves so much and the girl doesn't love him is in trouble. If I know this your suitor I will advise him to Shine his Eyes very well. I don't think you deserve him.
Put your mind into it, dont allow distractions because it creates confusion and makes things complicated. Hold on to that man and believe he is the one and you will fall in love with him. Give him your all and concentrate fully and he will make you happy. Take a man that loves you more serious than the one you love but don't really want you
Hello you. That story of yours is a little different from mine. I met my husband 17 yrs ago and it wasn't love at first sight. He was everything a woman would want in a man and I knew my family would love him. It was perfect. I made myself love him and it has been so up until March when I came across someone. It was an instant crush and I quenched it as fast as possible. This September I was going through depression and I couldn't find succour. I thought of this person and I re-established contact. Hmmmm. Now I finally know what the Romance writers mean when they talk about being in love. It finally happened to me.m as in, electric sparks, butterflies in the stomach and much more. The condemers will be quick to scream *Adulterer*. Lol. I don't mind. The good thing is that I won't cheat on my husband physically but emotionally I will. So my dear, 17 years after a happy marriage I can only tell you that you can get married TO LOVE but you don't need to be married to be IN LOVE. Its so sweet, it hurts.
You are a woman, you should marry a man who loves and adores you. You have said he's well behaved, that means he will treat you right and you in turn will grow to love him. But if you are the one loving and chasing after him, hmmmm..... he will turn your nose into a flute. Chasing different women, not coming home, bring different women into your home, beat you complain...... The list is endless. Ask God to put his love in your heart when you pray. God bless you.
you be mumu ask yourself assuming he has no money will your family still want you to marry him and love him later? infact ask your family this question. stupid people after you will start cheating in marriage and blaming Satan now Satan is chilling in his Jacuzzi you are disturbing him. let the young man be. tell him he is a nice guy but you cant marry him. mumu girl and mumu family.
Dis LIB super story is as easy as it comes... Biko let tak for example ur intention to marry him or not...
If u marry him b ready to accept him for who and what he is wit dis d love wil definitely come but if u don't accept him for who or wht he is...
Then there goes d problem. So frm d foregoing all dis lies in ur hands to adhere to and make d necessary difference to hav a loveable home mostly a hubby dat u luv.
Loves grows and is b nurture and its sth dat comes wit dedication and commitment. So make urs grow and worth it.
Dis LIB super story is as easy as it comes... Biko let tak for example ur intention to marry him or not...
If u marry him b ready to accept him for who and what he is wit dis d love wil definitely come but if u don't accept him for who or wht he is...
Then there goes d problem. So frm d foregoing all dis lies in ur hands to adhere to and make d necessary difference to hav a loveable home mostly a hubby dat u luv.
Loves grows and is b nurture and its sth dat comes wit dedication and commitment. So make urs grow and worth it.
My dear if u tink u hv anoda option. U beta take bcos its like ur ppl just want u to marry him bcos of d money. The love can still grow later if u give it a chance. i knw of many ppl who neva dated and got married,still doing fine till date.
Your family and friends are really greedy if truly they've asked you to marry and love will come later. Love does matter in marriage and it's not always about money. Be wise, patience and fervent prayer will see you through.
Marry a man you respect, not necessarily one you are madly in love with. Your ability to respect your husband is more important than loving him the way we women like to be loved. That type of love is meaningless to a husband.
I don't want to marry out of pity but u no dey pity am as u dey chop the guy money... In the end Na people go pity u when u go marry that guy Wey u de find
Well i believe Love shouldn't be the reason to marry, but Marriage should be the reason to Love. This means you can learn to love him later, it has worked for our parents in time past and i believe it can still work. Afterall, the major thing bthat kills love quickly which is money has been settled so go ahead, don't stop...lol You can read inspiring relationship tips from: www.tundegold.com
It's possible that you will love him later! Love is a Choice, you can love anybody. I want to ask you, how do you know you love some one? What is love? Is it some kind of feeling? Think about these things. The guy that makes your hear beat may not treat you well after he marries you and believe me 3years later into that marriage your heart will not be missing a beat anymore. What will u be left with? You said it urself, this guy is well behaved &loves you. Its better he loves you because the other way round is not pleasant at all. Women are love creatures. When we are treated very well we see our selves loving. Pray about it. Talk to ur pastor or who ever it is that you respect and admire. They must be married at least 10 years! God's speed.
Yes love can come after marriage. Seen a lot of cases. Its better when the man is head over heels for a woman. U can go ahead and marry him, but prayer is still the no 1. Pray and ask God for divine direction. Wish u the best
Date him first but be clear that you are just testing the waters to see whether you guys are compatible. After some months, if the feelings are still not there, then call it quits. But be transparent with him.
My dear it happened to me! I was just like U! I only like him, then I pray n follow my heart cos he really loves me. Now I love my husband like mad. I love him each passing day. Pray to God 4 his will n not ur own will cos he knows best. Remember it is better dat more of the love should come from d man than from d lady. A woman has a soft heart she can always love later in marriage as long as she is a godly woman.
I understand the doldrums single women of advancing age go through. But I see no sense/reason to tie the knot with someone you find unattractive. Any relationship that doesn't rise from mutual feelings is a form of slavery.
If you try it, adultery is in your future. Do not do it. It's better for you to be 39 and unmarried than to be in a marriage where your husband's touch disgusts you. A word is enough for the wise.
My dear sister, you may not know this, but you happen to be one of the most fortunate women on the planet right now. It is ironical that women want to be happily married but they choose a beast as husband. God has sent you a friend who will make you enjoy marriage, respect you and bring out the best in you. Ask some women who are sad in marriage and they will tell you they despised a 'good man' and chose a 'corporate man.' Loving someone who loves you back is the best gift you can give yourself. I advice that you spend time with God to take the confusion away and lead you correctly. At times our hearts deceive us to choose a serpent instead of fish. Stop deluding yourself that you will one day fall in love with a suitor. Yes you may but I am not sure it will be a suitor with these fine qualities. It is slavery to love a man who 'loves' many other women even when he claims he loves you. Tis is what some women are saddled with because they rejected real love. Is this what you want?
i think the question you need to ask yourself is "why you have not reciprocated his love for you" these are few reasons why i think you have not 1. maybe bcoz u have some oda guy in mind 2. maybe he doesnt have what you desire so much in your guy 3. maybe you are carried away with the thought of "i just dont like him".....and so on,you need to sit yourself down think tru the reasons why u feel u dont like diz guy then, try and see if dey are reasons that you could change. one thing i know is that our mind plays a major role in how we physically react to everything in life...mail me @udehemmanuel.c@gmail.com if you are confused about anything as i will be glad to reply you.
What are you guys foing together. Are you in a relationship? I guess so since you are nursing the idea of marriage at all. I mean you are currently dating each other. So how has that experience been. Is the romance good enough for you. Other department of marriage nko? Are the above pass mark. If all these are good then give the relationship more dept fir say about a year. You should feel somthing by then. If not end it. I only hope that the man you can love will turn out to by a man that cares for you. Cheers and good luck
If you don't love him Plz don't enter into it. Marraige is sweet when both couple love each other crazily. Love is natural,dont force it on you cause you might end up regretting.
I am sure he has money, when will Nigerian ladies stop marrying just for wealth? Why are you all so materialistic? ( most ) You don't love this man yet you won't leave him alone so he can marry a lady that deserves him. Tomorrow now you will start running to your ex for sex like the dog you are. *longest hiss*
My sister go for what your heart wants and not what what people want for you. Marriage is for life and not child's play, and for your marriage to withstand the pressure that comes with it, then you need to marry your best friend.
THERE IS NO TWO WAYS ABOUT IT. DON'T BANK ON MIRACLES. DON'T EXPECT LOVE TO JUST RESURFACE AFTER MARRIAGE. TRASH ALL YOUR EMOTIONAL ASPECT WITH HIM FIRST BEFORE DELVING INTO HIS PROPOSAL. FORGET PEER PRESSURE BEFORE WHEN THE HEAT STARTS IS BETWEEN YOU AND HIM BY THEN THE PEER PRESSURE GROUP MUST HAVE BID YOU BYE BYE LEAVING YOU TO YOUR FATE TO MANAGE YOUR CRISIS. AM SPEAKING FROM A CASE STUDY A FAMILY I KNOW.
I will advice u marry for love. For me every other things comes later it's too dangerous what if u don't grow to love him u will start cheating God bless you.
Sometimes you can. Fall in love but most times u dont... It's * 50/50 chance... Love is d most thing u need in a marriage..Love is patient nd overshadow all tins.. think wisely gal..
Yes love can come later. In some cases because of the way he loves u , u will start loving him without even knowing. It happened to me and we are married now. Good luck dear
Well thanks first for sharing your problem with all in the multitude of council there is safety please I will advice you to go ahead to marry him after prayer God for is God that make marriage to work out perfectly well because there is more of understanding tolerance that you need more in marriage please removed your mind from the cash because sometimes this is a problem in marriage once your mind is set on it I speak from experience God bless you as you take your decision.
Pray about it first.. Its possible to love later, most indians n in d olden days the bride doesn't even know her hubby until after the engagement and they fall in love later.. But if he doesn't fit into wat u want in a man, like physical looks and all, u might find yourself cheating wen u meet someone u really like, so pray and think well, spend quality time with him to know if there is a little feeling that can stand as a foundation to build on but if there is none.. Hmmmmmmm.... All is well o..
Na God I take beg you, no make that mistake. Trust me if love doesn't come now I doubt it will ever come.You said it yourself ,you don't want to be in a loveless marriage.You shouldn,t marry him just because ppl say you should or because his wealthy,because at the end of the day if you marry him you'll find out that his wealth is useless without the love and you'll just end up felling empty.Relationships shouldn't be based on wealth or looks cause they all fade away, but on love.
the guy is not attractive because you still feel you have other attractive people around you. the moment you make up your mind to be with him and shut your attention from distractions, you will gradually start finding him attractive, then love comes in. you may be the one to make him as attractive as you want. since he has good job it means when worked on him he can be attractive as you want. don't be surprise that so many other girls are dying to be with him.
My dear,u have to like the person first.those people will not be there when anything goes in the future..so,dont listen to anything one advice..hand it over to God and know if it's God's will.mariage no be bean cake babes.
A great guy versus the great guy : He is nice and very great, why can’t I love him? Have you ever been in a relationship with this guy, nice, caring, loving, perfect gentle man, better than every other one you have dated but yet you don’t just feel him, there is no connection, you try to work hard to love him and the more you try, the more it stresses you out as love and commitment becomes work?… Your family loves him and your friends think you are so lucky but there is just this piece of puzzle that don’t seem to add up, you start asking yourself if anything is wrong with you? and when you try to tell your friends or family they go out on you saying ” what are you doing?, so you don’t like good things eh?, you want to throw this boy that has come to redeem you? what are you looking for in life? you will regret this decision!”. After a conversation like that, you still try and you are not feeling it, should you marry him because he’s good to you or should you move on?
There are two kinds of great guys you might meet in life, there is “A Great Guy” (not for you) and “The Great guy”(made for you), you see both of them are good and fits the ideal man but one is for you while the other is not, people may not understand why you cannot make it work with “A Great Guy” and everybody may think you have made a mistake when you leave him, but you know you feel unsettled in your heart… just know you are right to move on from that relationship, not every great guy is great for you but when you meet “The great guy”, all those doubts would go away.
“A great guy” versus “The great guy”
They are both ideal men but one is great for you while the other isn’t With a great guy, you try hard to love him, with the great guy, love is not an issue with him You may think you are not worth a great guy’s love because you don’t love him back and you pity him… You love the great guy and he loves you back and you guys may even be wondering who loves each other more You walk around egg shell with a great guy and may not be free to be yourself but with the great guy, you are at ease, you enjoy every moment and things are just fluid with you guys You would totally enjoy and look forward to hanging out and communicating with “the great guy” but most times hanging out with “a great guy” is like a chore I am not saying that every guy you are free with, that fits into the characteristics of “the great guy” is your husband o, I am just saying if you are with “a great guy” and you don’t understand why you can’t connect with him, then he may not be the one.
Why you shouldn’t Marry a great guy
If you listen to everybody and still marry “a great guy” that you almost have no connection with aka “you are not feeling” you would most likely be
Frustrated Unfulfilled Angered easily or bitter Most likely regret it Bored out of your mind Resent the people that advised you to marry him Struggle to submit May not have a fulfilled sex life
If you marry “the great guy”
Fulfilled and this will lead to being the best you can be Happy Enjoy almost every moment Connection is magical You will definitely get angry with him sometimes but hardly bitter You will not struggle to submit and other things Most likely have a fulfilled sex life All I am trying to say, don’t get it twisted, for the fact he is a great guy and fits the picture of the ideal man doesn’t mean he is for you, therefore another girl “a great guy” could be “the great guy” for another girl.
A great guy versus the great guy : He is nice and very great, why can’t I love him? Have you ever been in a relationship with this guy, nice, caring, loving, perfect gentle man, better than every other one you have dated but yet you don’t just feel him, there is no connection, you try to work hard to love him and the more you try, the more it stresses you out as love and commitment becomes work?… Your family loves him and your friends think you are so lucky but there is just this piece of puzzle that don’t seem to add up, you start asking yourself if anything is wrong with you? and when you try to tell your friends or family they go out on you saying ” what are you doing?, so you don’t like good things eh?, you want to throw this boy that has come to redeem you? what are you looking for in life? you will regret this decision!”. After a conversation like that, you still try and you are not feeling it, should you marry him because he’s good to you or should you move on?
There are two kinds of great guys you might meet in life, there is “A Great Guy” (not for you) and “The Great guy”(made for you), you see both of them are good and fits the ideal man but one is for you while the other is not, people may not understand why you cannot make it work with “A Great Guy” and everybody may think you have made a mistake when you leave him, but you know you feel unsettled in your heart… just know you are right to move on from that relationship, not every great guy is great for you but when you meet “The great guy”, all those doubts would go away.
“A great guy” versus “The great guy”
They are both ideal men but one is great for you while the other isn’t With a great guy, you try hard to love him, with the great guy, love is not an issue with him You may think you are not worth a great guy’s love because you don’t love him back and you pity him… You love the great guy and he loves you back and you guys may even be wondering who loves each other more You walk around egg shell with a great guy and may not be free to be yourself but with the great guy, you are at ease, you enjoy every moment and things are just fluid with you guys You would totally enjoy and look forward to hanging out and communicating with “the great guy” but most times hanging out with “a great guy” is like a chore I am not saying that every guy you are free with, that fits into the characteristics of “the great guy” is your husband o, I am just saying if you are with “a great guy” and you don’t understand why you can’t connect with him, then he may not be the one.
Why you shouldn’t Marry a great guy
If you listen to everybody and still marry “a great guy” that you almost have no connection with aka “you are not feeling” you would most likely be
Frustrated Unfulfilled Angered easily or bitter Most likely regret it Bored out of your mind Resent the people that advised you to marry him Struggle to submit May not have a fulfilled sex life
If you marry “the great guy”
Fulfilled and this will lead to being the best you can be Happy Enjoy almost every moment Connection is magical You will definitely get angry with him sometimes but hardly bitter You will not struggle to submit and other things Most likely have a fulfilled sex life All I am trying to say, don’t get it twisted, for the fact he is a great guy and fits the picture of the ideal man doesn’t mean he is for you, therefore another girl “a great guy” could be “the great guy” for another girl.
My dear,u have to like the person first.those people will not be there when anything goes in the future..so,dont listen to anything one advice..hand it over to God and know if it's God's will.mariage no be bean cake babes.
I wonder what else your looking for in a man. He has everything a woman could demand from a real man and ur still not inlove wit him...nne ndooooo. Ur wahala came from ur villa u need deliverance.
In my opinion we build Love gradually in every relationship. But the number question u can ask urself is if u can stand him as a friend? Cuz when true friendship is nurtured then love thrives.....
85 to 95% of married couples are in a loveless marriage and in my personal opinion and experience you cannot develop the said love much later but what you get is mutual respect and at best comfort because you know or feel that if you leave you might not find anyone like him anymore and for that reason you will now have to compensate by showering all the love you have on your kids but when you're asked you will say you love your family rather than your husband.....Bottom line is you cannot grow to love each other after you're married.
U will learn to live him, as long as he's a good man and you give yourself chance to love him and make ur marriage work. Don't sit and be waiting for tall, dark and handsome to fall in love.
Marrying a man you are not attracted to nor have even very little feelings for will be a great mistake. Yes!sometimes love comes in marriage, but what if it does not come and you are stuck in a loveless marriage. If he loses his job tomorrow, that will like be end of your marriage. Don't marry a man because you think he will be a good provider, marry a man because you love him and most especially he is the will of God for you. Pray my dear sister.
Omoh see jamb questions wey u dey ask us re we soothsayers hw we go take no whether u go love am in the future ask the pipo wey tell u say u go love am later na
My dear it is better to build love than falling in love.. Trust me u won't know when or how it will happen. I was not inlove with my hubby before marriage but now I so love him than anything. I cant even do without him. Dear go on and accept his proposal with God love will finally come. Wish u best of luck.
if he wants to marry you that means you are already dating him . can a man come from the blues and want to marry you ? then it wont work cos u dont love him
Yes, it's possible to fall in love in marriage. Women are quite emotional and fall in love more with someone they are quite familiar with. In marriage you'd spend more time together and grow fond of him, from there feelings and subsequently love, develop. My BFF was in a similar situation, and she confessed to not loving her hubby before marriage but after they got married. She chose to marry him inspite of the absence of love initially, because he had all the qualities of a good man and husband, plus he loved her dearly. She chose right because that love he had for her held them close for the first 9yrs of they not having children (they have a set of twins now). Her love for him has grown with time and nutrition. Some cases differ tho due to different precipitating factors.
well,he may seem to be a perfect guy but marriage is a life time union and choosing a partner is not base on this qualities alone.if u don't love him at all, you are not attracted to him.pls don't go ahead,because what if the love does not come even after marriage?the the whole thing will be a disaster.i don't know you at the same time u need to open your heart don't live in the past.
Well u hv said it all. U dnt want a loveless marriage bt babes evn marriages wit love hv ish dis days o. Nobody is sayin u shud if u dnt wnt to, so u shud really tink aabt ur decision.
Nne don't go there o! I was in same situation hoping love would develop later. I grew up hating the man with passion, instead of love I developed disgust and resentment towards him. 4yrs later I had to leave the marriage cos it was the most miserable thing I ever found myself in.
Don't even try going into the marriage,cus all dis useless men we av around.ones they put u in d house they wil start misbehaving and if u don't love him from d onset,u wil easily divorce him but it's ur initial love for him dat wil make u tolerate his excesses and carry on.but in all watch and pray
Wait till you reach 40years old by then loves will feeling ur heart, naso this kinds of people will always disturbing my ear in the church with all their voice open to air,hear them praying,,,God please slap me with any how husband when ever they reach 40years old
Okay..that's easy..To begin with,you are thinking about it that's why you' r seeking advice..meaning more or less you' r considering it..Just take a moment and see what I shall point out here for you..you said that he is well behaved, that he loves you and in your very words that he is a "catch" and just may be in time after marriage you might love him...right? Come to think of it, I will be well behaved too when am seeking to marry a lady( so to the generality of many that's common..okay! however it's out). Secondly, he loves you and that is good but you don't love him so there is a clause..( marriage union should be an entity comprising of both him and you sharing whatever there is to share and that includes love..so if he loves alone and you do not love him also there will be no sharing of love. He will give, give, continue giving and he may just observe is not getting back..hope you understand my drift? again a clause. I understand that money is good..and to a very large extend makes life good so to say..but if he is a catch, what are you? And who is really to be caught here? Think dear..unless you are saying that you don't place value on yourself..what I mean to ask is that; don't you have a means to an end, don't you have a job or some form of livelihood? If yes, then come-on you don't need that kind of "catch" what you do need is a catch of an unending happiness in regardless of marital problems fluctuations. Catch or no Catch, money or no money do not solve the issue of finding love it only prolongs it..trust me. Finally, time is crazy when it matters on love, relationship, marriage and all....Marry him first and later you may love him,,,oooo,thats K, it's old school and that's so cheap...come-on who does that only a valueless fellow I beg to say..are you valueless if that's even a word I beg to use it..Listen, we are talking about LOVE okay! Not just affection, not just care, not just the other kind of things that makes or surrounds love, not the components of love but love itself as an entity. When love does not exist it does not exist. Here we are talking about straight to marriage no form of courtship for some time at least then I seriously fear for any existence of love in and during the marriage. NB: (i) If you think you like him enough for now to get married..okay (ii) If you think you can handle the issues that may arise in striving to find love in a MARRIED relationship..okay (iii) If you think you value more your family opinions about the matter in question...okay (iv) If you think your decision is worthless compare to people's..okay (v) If you think you can mortgage your happiness for money..well okay (vi) If you conclude time can heal every wound..okay
Only you can answer that question because this is all about your emotion. If u get married to him and never get to love him, it will make you very miserable and he will also feel bad
Pls go ahead and marry him. Its even better for d man to love u.....I am a married woman so I know what am talking about..wen a man loves u he overlook ur wrongs and correct dem with luv.......but if is d oda way round...,hmmmmmmm! OYO ni o...
If you are in love with someone else better not marry cos you will end up comparing the two which will definitely affect the marriage (negatively) but if your not go ahead you will get to love him.
The Holy Book of the Lord(Bible)says wives are supposed to respect their husbands whiles husbands are supposed to love their wives. (Ephesians 5:33) Dear sister, what are you waiting for, if the man is God-fearing? Good luck.
You're very funny. Your mum didn't tell you it's better for a man to love you more than you love him. Anyway, I advise you to marry him, becos I was once in your shoes but thank God, I made the right decision and married my husband. He is man, that when I cough, he listens to me.
In the first place you women behaves so funny, why will you marry someone you don't have passion for? You want him simply because he has a good job what if he lost the job in which you cherished before you married him? Have a compassion for someone you want to marry. I advice you to love someone before you get marry at all. Beauty or handsomness is not important but if you consider that yes is alright but love him for whom he is at your courtship
In the first place you women behaves so funny, why will you marry someone you don't have passion for? You want him simply because he has a good job what if he lost the job in which you cherished before you married him? Have a compassion for someone you want to marry. I advice you to love someone before you get marry at all. Beauty or handsomness is not important but if you consider that yes is alright but love him for whom he is at your courtship
Yes u can. Its more important that he loves u. If he truly loves u and shows it, u will fall in love with him. But if u marry someone u love but does not love u, u will be even more angry.
Please dont!!!! It is difficult enough for married people in love to keep that relationship going, talkless of a relationship defficient of love. Please note that the absence of love magnifies little habits that you may be over looking now. Trust me, in marriage, the tiny habits that used to be cute when dating grow into irritation in marriage and it takes the Grace of God.
Funny u had better take a walk! There is nothing like I will love him letter.Your family adviced you to accept him bcos of his money sorry o don't forget say na u go live with d man o! Not your parents or family.
love will always come after the marriage. Ask yourself this: what are things you like about him and what don't you like about him and if the good out weigh the bad then; he is the one. Please don't create more bad things because you don't love him, be sincere to yourself.how is communication between you two. I felt the same way before i married my husband three years ago and a wise woman asked me to do this and we have a son now and i am very much in love with my husband and happy with my family.The Bible tells us to love the one we marry and not marry the one you love. What if you marry the one you love and you are never happy, then what? Divorce or suffer in silence. Think about it.
love is not what you can rush into at your first sight, it takes a gradual process to retain the feeling and develop it. all you need to do is, ask him for a friendship for a while and then spend some nice time with him like going out together, doing shopping together e.t.c. and if there are still no any sigh of love feeling in you. then, the ball is in your court.
My dear dis only works for someone dey forced into a marriage, dats (later love) . But u. Ur just attracted to d so called "catch" don't deceive ur self. U should have a reason to love someone
Hmmmmmmn. You go fcuk your boyfriend tire even after you are married. Then hubby will find out someday, then you will be like 'I really didn't love you in the first place' then, marriage will collapse, then children won't know which side to be, daddy's side or mummy's side then children will grow up with the same mentality then...
My dear.dont rush tins wit him.take your time and open your heart to love him. I was once in your position .I kept saying the guy wasn't my spec.then I opened my heart to him. Today he is d best husband any peace loving lady can ask for. The love came from no where gradually and now,i love him to pieces. I have overlooked the "spec" part and I focus on everything he can do to make me happy.just a word of advice give him d chance and he may b better than u expected.
Who told you that there is absence of love .... The man loves her and that is the love but its left for her to respond.... The marriage that had problem is bcos both man and wife are loveless
Will fucking the bf help matters? It will only deceive her and the bf will never marry her bcos he will have his own wife , the husband will marry another wife while u the bf fucker will all b alone even ur children will hate you for that. Concentrate on your husband to be alone and allow him fuck you well believe me as long as there are no distractions, you will love him to pieces
My dear..plsssssssssss marryyy him..I was in your shoes 5years ago...I marry my man 9mths after we met...I liked him but he loved me more...I couldn't even define my love for him...but I tell u,today I love him that I can't do without him...it's not like he gives me the whole world but I am contented! Because it is union from God....
Most importantly pray and marry the man that loves you more than you love him!! U will enjoy ur marriage
Ure sooooo right...I was in the same shoes 5years ago too..i am very happy with at peace with my marriage till now. If only ladies can marry the man that loves t more than they do,the high rate of divorce will drop
I will send it again!!! Incase linda doesn't approve my previous marriage! Marryyyyy him!!! U will be at peace cos ure assured he loves u and won't hurt. Women learn to love...u will love him soooo much later...
It is just wrong when people say it is better the man loves you more, what happened to both of you loving yourself equally. This is one of the lies we grew up believing. It is very sad. www.bride2mum.com
My dear, follow your heart, was in your situation too but I followed my heart and married my hubby,dats d best decision Eva. Don't have kids with him yet afta 5years but he is still crazy bout mi and likewise. If he is good to you and treats you right, you would love him. My dear if you can't get wat you like pls like what you get. Simple
Na wa oo,its like most babes marry out of love judging by d comments,we really value marriage for dis nija sha,most babe dream na just marry,no self worth nothin,its well oo,my dear marry for love,happiness is priceless
"Do not stir up or awaken love until it pleases.” (Songs of Solomon 2:7, 3:5, 8:4)Its mentioned 3 times for emphasis. It cannot be forced or manipulated, let it happen naturally. And if it doesn't...don't marry him until you feel peace about it.
You may learn to love him in the long run, but you may never become sexually attracted to him. Many ppl marry for security so you would not be the first to go that path. Truthfully, I think love is overrated at times. When you think about family rearing and the peace of mind that comes with being financially solid, and having a partner of good character all of that trumps love which can quickly fizzle when money is not around and the man has a bad character. He loves you so that is a boon, at least you know he is already in your corner. It is your choice at the end of the day.
Sweetheart, what you feel is lust, obsession or infatuation. And trust me, this "butterfly in ur tummy" stage will pass. I wonder what you will have then. Feeling is fleeting and love is a choice.
I'm in the same dilemma right now and it's giving me sleepless nights. We started dating under the premises that love will grow, one year down the road and I still feel nothing. I don't know what to do anymore, he is my definition of the perfect guy, any woman would be lucky to marry him. It's by far the best relationship I have ever had but there is something missing. No physical attraction, no emotional connection, I can't bring myself to have sex with him (funny he thinks I'm just conservative but I'm actually wild in bed if I'm attracted to you) Seeing him sometimes feels like punishment but I suck it up cos I believe in faking it till you make it but it's getting so exhausting. Funny enough I haven't cheated on him but the way I see it it's only a matter of time.
I don't know what to do, all my friends and family love him ( Damn, if I were them i'd love him too) so I keep my reservations to myself. I know I don't love him, he knows I don't love him but he doesn't seem to care.
I will miss him if I left and feel terrible for breaking his heart but I can't shake the feeling that there is something better out there. Or is this love? Confused girl
211 comments:
1 – 200 of 211 Newer› Newest»You will get use to him once you have him daily in your life..butbyou alone should make the decission
Giveaway time
If u don't love him,let him go!
Ifea akuko ndi mgbe ochie! Why wud u marry someone u don't love? Or u Don De turn aunty gwegs? U don't have a choice anymore? Abeg shiftuo! Na despies De do dis kain tin
Coming from a guy I think you should accept he's offer especially if you don't have someone who wants you or you ain't in a serious relationship
If you don't love him now, you don't even find him attractive in any way, then don't marry him. You will only torture him and make yourselves miserable
Now let me start with asking you a question how old are u? Once you are able to answer that there u have ur answer
Now let me start with asking you a question how old are u? Once you are able to answer that there u have ur answer
It's very possible. But what if you just don't fall in love with him later? It's a gamble my dear Channels TV news anchor caught blowing colleague a kiss on live TV
Marry me...am a love you till you be like that's enough
First of all, why don't u get to know him before marriage. Go out together, chat often too. During that time u might get to know if he's the kinda person u want as a life partner. Personally though, i would love to marry a man that loves and cherishes me more than i do him. It is easier for a woman to grow to love a man who adores her than for a man to grow to love a woman, especially after marriage.
#TeamBlessed#
Nne this sounds exactly like my story. I married a very good man I'm not in love with nor finds attractive. He loves me and takes good care of me and our kids. We've been together for 4yrs now and I still don't love him. I'm just used to him. We're living fine but that little butterflies in the stomach love ain't there for me at all. I'm a faithful wife and I've accepted the faith of living like this forever. Yours may turn out same way.
Wen u marry him you will love him no doubts about dat.
PPLE LUV LATER...BT LIV DE MAN JOOR FOR ANOTHER TO CATCH SINCE U DNT VE LUV FOR HIM...TOMJERRYSWIT
Depends on d definition u gave the whole ish.. It works that way for some ppl, atleast I'v witnessed that some couple of times.. But then that it works for others doesn't mean it will work for u... Its better u check within urself αи∂ know if u really wanna marry now or cos ur parents are on ur neck.
If ur sure u won't feel anything for d guy later, then allow him to marry sm1 that will love him like he deserve... A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage.
#iT wiLL oNly gEt bEttER
#It mUsT enD iN prAise
It's very possible. But what if you just don't fall in love with him later? It's a gamble my dear Channels TV news anchor caught blowing colleague a kiss on live TV
Sometimes people reli do grow to love anoda, but apart from love there are other sustaining ingredients....respect, friendship, patience....
Follow ur heart plz. Don't go into a marraige because a guy is rich cos u might never find happiness in it. Look elsewhere for love n marriage plz
This is a gamble, love can be cultivated, and there is also the possibility that you will end up hating him the more.
Anyway life is full of risk, but we are advised to take reasonable risks.
~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA LUMIA
Follow ur heart plz. Don't go into a marriage because a guy is rich cos u might never find happiness in it. Look elsewhere for love n marriage plz
Nne go and ask google..... Jor oh
GLOW UP MY DEAR YOU ARE ALREADY FEELING SOMETHING ..........
.. DON'T LOOK FOR EXCUSE FOR YOUR INABILITY OR FEAR OF RESPONSIBILITY........ SURE NOT ALL WILL MAKE A GOOD HOME
If you don't love him now, you will never love him. If you are capable of loving, then you can focus on his good and bad attributes (courtship), and see if you can cope with them or love them before acceptance. Remember marriage is a life time, divorce shouldn't be your watchword.
It's best to love some1 dat loves u dan some1 u love....since u love all his stuff den u'll find it in ur heart to love him later on or maybe not...
U can go ahead if he really loves you. I was in the same shoes as u 3yrs ago Bt nw I love my hubby die!
Please don't. Love will not come after marriage instead, u need to love him first before deciding to get married to him. Why the rush in the first place? Get to know him well, be friends with him and let things fall in the right places before u go ahead with the marriage. All the best darling
Well, my suggestion is you first get to know him and spend time with him. Date him for sometime, getting to know him may change how you feel. But please dont go into a loveless marriage so you dont end up cheating on your husband! all the best!
It is 50. 50.
I think you should pray before you make your decision... those physical things you referred to as " a catch" can not sustain your marriage if the storms of life hit..
I would advise u not to accept him bcoz if u dnt luv him u'll av no option dan to start cheating on him. Money cannot buy luv, dre iz no amount of money dt he'll shower on u dt would coz u to luv him
I think you should pray before you make your decision... those physical things you referred to as " a catch" can not sustain your marriage if the storms of life hit..
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Foolishness has no bounds .... You want the one that u will love and he will treat you like a bitch ..... Some women bring problems to themselves... Put ur mind to it and love will come
Na lie o. The best it can get to is tolerance & an acceptance of what your life has become & will be.
If don't love him don't bother bcos u are gonna hurt him. Which might make him to search comfort outside
Yes you can! Love is much more than a feeling! Give the guy a chance and he will go out of his way to be good to u.
Marry someone u love not just someone that loves u. If u don't love him, certainly u cannot tolerate him or forgive him when he wrongs u. But on d other hand, only what can make u love him after marriage is if there is mutual likeness n he has d characters u admire in a man. My dear, marriage is deeper than just being a good catch n all those things u think. He must have d ability to make u smile even when u r so angry with him. Ur mere look at him must b satisfactory to u.
Oleeee trust me no love after marrige, if u can't love him now u will end being in a loveless marriage n cheat sure u don't wanna do datt cos u can't pretend forever, free d man jeje
Seyilicious
My dear, marry who u love now. Love may never come later. Don't live with regrets. Don't marry him because of superficial things. All those may vanish. Then what? What if u never love him? ? Please be wise. Forget what family/friends say. U are the one entering someone's home not them. Mo-1
The love may come, it may not come.
But to be on the safe side, try to love him before marriage, still date him for some time, don't rush into marriage like that, if you still don't love him, then don't marry him.
Love is a verb! An action! Not a feeling! Movie directors have brainwashed people into thinking it's a feeling! Feelings change as the situation changes.
My view is that you are either comfortable with the person's behaviour and you chose to love the person or you pray about it and if God directs you to marry the person, you also chose to love them
a.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said...
.
Dont marry him..... But aunty linda is this yu......
.
.
***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***
Women can mumu errr , no b small. Women will say they want a loving man but the truth is they fall in love with men that trit them like trash
dont dear it. if u dont love him now then u will never love again even if he get u a private jet to take to work. Love is a thing of the mind ok. move on except u have a change of heart.
The way children of nowadays write is simply disgusting.. What is "asin"
Village witches at work
I will advice u to marry someone that truly love u rather the opposite ..... It happened to me and now we r happy together
My dear love is something that is built, if d man loves u,respect u,understands u,marry him...cos so many marriages dat began with love r ending now cos love has left d marriage, love is not everything in a marriage I assure u
To love is a decision and not just a feeling that come upon us (not saying it is bad to feelings too). if it is just a feeling, what happen when the feeling is no more? God command is children to love because He knows they can chose to love. I will not advise you to marry the person you are not attracted to but i will say you must love the person you marry. You should decide if i marry this person i am going to love him/her, that is very important.
Madam if there's no Love they won't be Love
If you don't love him, then don't marry him. Still take time to date and know one another more and if you still don't feel anything special, let him go because money can't buy happiness all the time. If he loses the good job and financial stability, you will really hate his guts and be miserable. Don't do it! www.bunmisimplesblog.com
go to GOD in prayer!
Am guessing u are way overdue for marriage if not ur family wouldn't be supporting u to marry someone u don't love. Or mayb u are the overly fussy type so dey just want you to settle and not end up single at 40
Don't enter a relationship u don't have feelings for
Hello you. That story of yours is a little different from mine. I met my husband 17 yrs ago and it wasn't love at first sight. He was everything a woman would want in a man and I knew my family would love him. It was perfect. I made myself love him and it has been so up until March when I came across someone. It was an instant crush and I quenched it as fast as possible. This September I was going through depression and I couldn't find succour. I thought of this person and I re-established contact. Hmmmm. Now I finally know what the Romance writers mean when they talk about being in love. It finally happened to me.m as in, electric sparks, butterflies in the stomach and much more.
The condemers will be quick to scream *Adulterer*. Lol. I don't mind. The good thing is that I won't cheat on my husband physically but emotionally I will. So my dear, 17 years after a happy marriage I can only tell you that you can get married TO LOVE but you don't need to be married to be IN LOVE. Its so sweet, it hurts.
My dear what else do you want from a guy. He is well behaved, has a good job and loves you. I think that's every ladies dream.
Or do you preffer the flashy handsome guy that is rude and doesn't really care much about you except for what he stands to gain.
I am guy and I always advise my fellow guys to marry a girl that loves you more than you love her. Because any guy that marrys a girl he loves so much and the girl doesn't love him is in trouble.
If I know this your suitor I will advise him to Shine his Eyes very well. I don't think you deserve him.
Put your mind into it, dont allow distractions because it creates confusion and makes things complicated. Hold on to that man and believe he is the one and you will fall in love with him. Give him your all and concentrate fully and he will make you happy. Take a man that loves you more serious than the one you love but don't really want you
Go ask your grandma. I'm sure she would be in a better position to explain how dat works to you. Linda take note!
Go ask your grandma. I'm sure she would be in a better position to explain how dat works to you. Linda take note!
The love will come and don't be surprised u will be madly in love with him later and his nice and a catch
Go ask your grandma. I'm sure she would be in a better position to explain how dat works to you. Linda take note!
Hello you. That story of yours is a little different from mine. I met my husband 17 yrs ago and it wasn't love at first sight. He was everything a woman would want in a man and I knew my family would love him. It was perfect. I made myself love him and it has been so up until March when I came across someone. It was an instant crush and I quenched it as fast as possible. This September I was going through depression and I couldn't find succour. I thought of this person and I re-established contact. Hmmmm. Now I finally know what the Romance writers mean when they talk about being in love. It finally happened to me.m as in, electric sparks, butterflies in the stomach and much more.
The condemers will be quick to scream *Adulterer*. Lol. I don't mind. The good thing is that I won't cheat on my husband physically but emotionally I will. So my dear, 17 years after a happy marriage I can only tell you that you can get married TO LOVE but you don't need to be married to be IN LOVE. Its so sweet, it hurts.
You are a woman, you should marry a man who loves and adores you. You have said he's well behaved, that means he will treat you right and you in turn will grow to love him. But if you are the one loving and chasing after him, hmmmm..... he will turn your nose into a flute. Chasing different women, not coming home, bring different women into your home, beat you complain...... The list is endless. Ask God to put his love in your heart when you pray. God bless you.
you be mumu ask yourself assuming he has no money will your family still want you to marry him and love him later? infact ask your family this question. stupid people after you will start cheating in marriage and blaming Satan now Satan is chilling in his Jacuzzi you are disturbing him. let the young man be. tell him he is a nice guy but you cant marry him. mumu girl and mumu family.
Old woman keep asking at your age. He has a good job look at you. All about money vainty. Not even the fear of God.
ma'am follow ur heart....
I def will not marry someone I do not love.
cos da whole point is settling with ur best friend....
Dear, if ur heart don't feel like it, please don't do it
how old are you lady? love fades away, equally likeness, fondness and love grows and increases! check am well well! http://www.bummyla.com
Fuck am well well , u go just start to day love am
I do not know but people say you do! But I often think that it is not love but they have come to get use to that person, they confuse it for love.
My dear, to be honest you will end up cheating on that guy. Shalom
Wow!
Dis LIB super story is as easy as it comes...
Biko let tak for example ur intention to marry him or not...
If u marry him b ready to accept him for who and what he is wit dis d love wil definitely come but if u don't accept him for who or wht he is...
Then there goes d problem. So frm d foregoing all dis lies in ur hands to adhere to and make d necessary difference to hav a loveable home mostly a hubby dat u luv.
Loves grows and is b nurture and its sth dat comes wit dedication and commitment. So make urs grow and worth it.
Wow!
Dis LIB super story is as easy as it comes...
Biko let tak for example ur intention to marry him or not...
If u marry him b ready to accept him for who and what he is wit dis d love wil definitely come but if u don't accept him for who or wht he is...
Then there goes d problem. So frm d foregoing all dis lies in ur hands to adhere to and make d necessary difference to hav a loveable home mostly a hubby dat u luv.
Loves grows and is b nurture and its sth dat comes wit dedication and commitment. So make urs grow and worth it.
My dear if u tink u hv anoda option. U beta take bcos its like ur ppl just want u to marry him bcos of d money. The love can still grow later if u give it a chance. i knw of many ppl who neva dated and got married,still doing fine till date.
Your family and friends are really greedy if truly they've asked you to marry and love will come later. Love does matter in marriage and it's not always about money. Be wise, patience and fervent prayer will see you through.
Marry a man you respect, not necessarily one you are madly in love with. Your ability to respect your husband is more important than loving him the way we women like to be loved. That type of love is meaningless to a husband.
I don't want to marry out of pity but u no dey pity am as u dey chop the guy money... In the end Na people go pity u when u go marry that guy Wey u de find
Well i believe Love shouldn't be the reason to marry, but Marriage should be the reason to Love.
This means you can learn to love him later, it has worked for our parents in time past and i believe it can still work. Afterall, the major thing bthat kills love quickly which is money has been settled so go ahead, don't stop...lol
You can read inspiring relationship tips from: www.tundegold.com
It's possible that you will love him later! Love is a Choice, you can love anybody. I want to ask you, how do you know you love some one? What is love? Is it some kind of feeling? Think about these things. The guy that makes your hear beat may not treat you well after he marries you and believe me 3years later into that marriage your heart will not be missing a beat anymore. What will u be left with? You said it urself, this guy is well behaved &loves you. Its better he loves you because the other way round is not pleasant at all. Women are love creatures. When we are treated very well we see our selves loving. Pray about it. Talk to ur pastor or who ever it is that you respect and admire. They must be married at least 10 years! God's speed.
Yes love can come after marriage. Seen a lot of cases. Its better when the man is head over heels for a woman. U can go ahead and marry him, but prayer is still the no 1. Pray and ask God for divine direction. Wish u the best
IDIOT YOU WANT TO MARRY HIM BECAUSE OF HIS GOOD JOB. SEE YOUR MOUTH LIKE HE IS A CATCH! GOLDIGGING OLOSHO
Date him first but be clear that you are just testing the waters to see whether you guys are compatible. After some months, if the feelings are still not there, then call it quits. But be transparent with him.
If he has money, take him and find yourself another playboy to supply the remaining. Finished
My dear it happened to me! I was just like U! I only like him, then I pray n follow my heart cos he really loves me. Now I love my husband like mad. I love him each passing day. Pray to God 4 his will n not ur own will cos he knows best. Remember it is better dat more of the love should come from d man than from d lady. A woman has a soft heart she can always love later in marriage as long as she is a godly woman.
If u marry him. u go dey play away match
JABAR SAYS SO VIA SAMSUNG E1170
PLEASE DON'T DO IT! WAS ALSO TOLD SAME AND YEARS LATER I REGRET TAKING THAT DECISION.
I understand the doldrums single women of advancing age go through. But I see no sense/reason to tie the knot with someone you find unattractive. Any relationship that doesn't rise from mutual feelings is a form of slavery.
If you try it, adultery is in your future. Do not do it. It's better for you to be 39 and unmarried than to be in a marriage where your husband's touch disgusts you. A word is enough for the wise.
My dear sister, you may not know this, but you happen to be one of the most fortunate women on the planet right now. It is ironical that women want to be happily married but they choose a beast as husband. God has sent you a friend who will make you enjoy marriage, respect you and bring out the best in you. Ask some women who are sad in marriage and they will tell you they despised a 'good man' and chose a 'corporate man.' Loving someone who loves you back is the best gift you can give yourself. I advice that you spend time with God to take the confusion away and lead you correctly. At times our hearts deceive us to choose a serpent instead of fish. Stop deluding yourself that you will one day fall in love with a suitor. Yes you may but I am not sure it will be a suitor with these fine qualities. It is slavery to love a man who 'loves' many other women even when he claims he loves you. Tis is what some women are saddled with because they rejected real love. Is this what you want?
Dnt utry it...dose ppl dat r asking u to marry him won't b living wif u,if u fink u can cope no p buh dnt try it if ur nt certain abouh d future
i think the question you need to ask yourself is "why you have not reciprocated his love for you"
these are few reasons why i think you have not
1. maybe bcoz u have some oda guy in mind
2. maybe he doesnt have what you desire so much in your guy
3. maybe you are carried away with the thought of "i just dont like him".....and so on,you need to sit yourself down think tru the reasons why u feel u dont like diz guy then, try and see if dey are reasons that you could change.
one thing i know is that our mind plays a major role in how we physically react to everything in life...mail me @udehemmanuel.c@gmail.com if you are confused about anything as i will be glad to reply you.
What are you guys foing together. Are you in a relationship? I guess so since you are nursing the idea of marriage at all. I mean you are currently dating each other. So how has that experience been.
Is the romance good enough for you. Other department of marriage nko? Are the above pass mark.
If all these are good then give the relationship more dept fir say about a year. You should feel somthing by then. If not end it. I only hope that the man you can love will turn out to by a man that cares for you. Cheers and good luck
He's a catch but U don't love him and u don't want to be in a loveless union.
END OF STORY.
Yesss it's possible,you can grow in love dat's it....
....Am gettin dere...
Accept his proposal. You'd love him later.
~D great anonymous!
My Dear, now you know he's a good man and all that....... Give him a chance, open your heart because love grows in a open heart. I wish you good luck.
If you don't love him Plz don't enter into it. Marraige is sweet when both couple love each other crazily. Love is natural,dont force it on you cause you might end up regretting.
Don't even try it! You will hate the rest of your life.
OREO GRANDE
Yes hun love can come later......it's better u get married to who loves you more than u do
You better give yourself brain... you are not even attracted to him you say, babe RECEEEEEEEEEEEEIVE BRAIN
I am sure he has money, when will Nigerian ladies stop marrying just for wealth? Why are you all so materialistic? ( most ) You don't love this man yet you won't leave him alone so he can marry a lady that deserves him. Tomorrow now you will start running to your ex for sex like the dog you are. *longest hiss*
My sister go for what your heart wants and not what what people want for you. Marriage is for life and not child's play, and for your marriage to withstand the pressure that comes with it, then you need to marry your best friend.
THERE IS NO TWO WAYS ABOUT IT. DON'T BANK ON MIRACLES. DON'T EXPECT LOVE TO JUST RESURFACE AFTER MARRIAGE. TRASH ALL YOUR EMOTIONAL ASPECT WITH HIM FIRST BEFORE DELVING INTO HIS PROPOSAL. FORGET PEER PRESSURE BEFORE WHEN THE HEAT STARTS IS BETWEEN YOU AND HIM BY THEN THE PEER PRESSURE GROUP MUST HAVE BID YOU BYE BYE LEAVING YOU TO YOUR FATE TO MANAGE YOUR CRISIS. AM SPEAKING FROM A CASE STUDY A FAMILY I KNOW.
I will advice u marry for love. For me every other things comes later it's too dangerous what if u don't grow to love him u will start cheating God bless you.
Sometimes you can. Fall in love but most times u dont... It's * 50/50 chance... Love is d most thing u need in a marriage..Love is patient nd overshadow all tins.. think wisely gal..
You have said it yourself, you don't want a loveless marriage, so it's a NO!
Take ur time to be friend with him first and see if love for him will come up and grow.....if not Dnt do it
Ask God in Ekpere
Bible say husband love ur wife,wife b submissive...na man dey love,marry am jor
Yes love can come later. In some cases because of the way he loves u , u will start loving him without even knowing. It happened to me and we are married now. Good luck dear
It has been successful since the beginning of man. It can't change now!!! Lol.. I can hook people up with him if u don't want......
Well thanks first for sharing your problem with all in the multitude of council there is safety please I will advice you to go ahead to marry him after prayer God for is God that make marriage to work out perfectly well because there is more of understanding tolerance that you need more in marriage please removed your mind from the cash because sometimes this is a problem in marriage once your mind is set on it I speak from experience God bless you as you take your decision.
u should learn to love him before getting married to him if u cant bring urself to love him then forget about it else u will regret it later
Well! My dear dis generation now is money first every other thing will cum later
Pray about it first.. Its possible to love later, most indians n in d olden days the bride doesn't even know her hubby until after the engagement and they fall in love later.. But if he doesn't fit into wat u want in a man, like physical looks and all, u might find yourself cheating wen u meet someone u really like, so pray and think well, spend quality time with him to know if there is a little feeling that can stand as a foundation to build on but if there is none.. Hmmmmmmm.... All is well o..
It's possible. Ask most ladies in INDIA
Na God I take beg you, no make that mistake. Trust me if love doesn't come now I doubt it will ever come.You said it yourself ,you don't want to be in a loveless marriage.You shouldn,t marry him just because ppl say you should or because his wealthy,because at the end of the day if you marry him you'll find out that his wealth is useless without the love and you'll just end up felling empty.Relationships shouldn't be based on wealth or looks cause they all fade away, but on love.
Na u Sabi! U won marry person wey u no get any feelings 4.... dum. Head
the guy is not attractive because you still feel you have other attractive people around you. the moment you make up your mind to be with him and shut your attention from distractions, you will gradually start finding him attractive, then love comes in. you may be the one to make him as attractive as you want. since he has good job it means when worked on him he can be attractive as you want. don't be surprise that so many other girls are dying to be with him.
Na u Sabi, u want marry person wey u no get feelings for...
Dum head
My dear,u have to like the person first.those people will not be there when anything goes in the future..so,dont listen to anything one advice..hand it over to God and know if it's God's will.mariage no be bean cake babes.
Yes you can dear just make up your mind and love will come. Am a testimony and am glad I did i love him like crazy.
Please don't marry him oh as sue as u don't have any feelings for him. Noting like somebody u have feelings of love for.
A great guy versus the great guy : He is nice and very great, why can’t I love him?
Have you ever been in a relationship with this guy, nice, caring, loving, perfect gentle man, better than every other one you have dated but yet you don’t just feel him, there is no connection, you try to work hard to love him and the more you try, the more it stresses you out as love and commitment becomes work?… Your family loves him and your friends think you are so lucky but there is just this piece of puzzle that don’t seem to add up, you start asking yourself if anything is wrong with you? and when you try to tell your friends or family they go out on you saying ” what are you doing?, so you don’t like good things eh?, you want to throw this boy that has come to redeem you? what are you looking for in life? you will regret this decision!”. After a conversation like that, you still try and you are not feeling it, should you marry him because he’s good to you or should you move on?
There are two kinds of great guys you might meet in life, there is “A Great Guy” (not for you) and “The Great guy”(made for you), you see both of them are good and fits the ideal man but one is for you while the other is not, people may not understand why you cannot make it work with “A Great Guy” and everybody may think you have made a mistake when you leave him, but you know you feel unsettled in your heart… just know you are right to move on from that relationship, not every great guy is great for you but when you meet “The great guy”, all those doubts would go away.
“A great guy” versus “The great guy”
They are both ideal men but one is great for you while the other isn’t
With a great guy, you try hard to love him, with the great guy, love is not an issue with him
You may think you are not worth a great guy’s love because you don’t love him back and you pity him… You love the great guy and he loves you back and you guys may even be wondering who loves each other more
You walk around egg shell with a great guy and may not be free to be yourself but with the great guy, you are at ease, you enjoy every moment and things are just fluid with you guys
You would totally enjoy and look forward to hanging out and communicating with “the great guy” but most times hanging out with “a great guy” is like a chore
I am not saying that every guy you are free with, that fits into the characteristics of “the great guy” is your husband o, I am just saying if you are with “a great guy” and you don’t understand why you can’t connect with him, then he may not be the one.
Why you shouldn’t Marry a great guy
If you listen to everybody and still marry “a great guy” that you almost have no connection with aka “you are not feeling” you would most likely be
Frustrated
Unfulfilled
Angered easily or bitter
Most likely regret it
Bored out of your mind
Resent the people that advised you to marry him
Struggle to submit
May not have a fulfilled sex life
If you marry “the great guy”
Fulfilled and this will lead to being the best you can be
Happy
Enjoy almost every moment
Connection is magical
You will definitely get angry with him sometimes but hardly bitter
You will not struggle to submit and other things
Most likely have a fulfilled sex life
All I am trying to say, don’t get it twisted, for the fact he is a great guy and fits the picture of the ideal man doesn’t mean he is for you, therefore another girl “a great guy” could be “the great guy” for another girl.
Marriage is a life time issue. Don't go into it wt someone u don't love. Is d love that will make you to stand d test of time.
A great guy versus the great guy : He is nice and very great, why can’t I love him?
Have you ever been in a relationship with this guy, nice, caring, loving, perfect gentle man, better than every other one you have dated but yet you don’t just feel him, there is no connection, you try to work hard to love him and the more you try, the more it stresses you out as love and commitment becomes work?… Your family loves him and your friends think you are so lucky but there is just this piece of puzzle that don’t seem to add up, you start asking yourself if anything is wrong with you? and when you try to tell your friends or family they go out on you saying ” what are you doing?, so you don’t like good things eh?, you want to throw this boy that has come to redeem you? what are you looking for in life? you will regret this decision!”. After a conversation like that, you still try and you are not feeling it, should you marry him because he’s good to you or should you move on?
There are two kinds of great guys you might meet in life, there is “A Great Guy” (not for you) and “The Great guy”(made for you), you see both of them are good and fits the ideal man but one is for you while the other is not, people may not understand why you cannot make it work with “A Great Guy” and everybody may think you have made a mistake when you leave him, but you know you feel unsettled in your heart… just know you are right to move on from that relationship, not every great guy is great for you but when you meet “The great guy”, all those doubts would go away.
“A great guy” versus “The great guy”
They are both ideal men but one is great for you while the other isn’t
With a great guy, you try hard to love him, with the great guy, love is not an issue with him
You may think you are not worth a great guy’s love because you don’t love him back and you pity him… You love the great guy and he loves you back and you guys may even be wondering who loves each other more
You walk around egg shell with a great guy and may not be free to be yourself but with the great guy, you are at ease, you enjoy every moment and things are just fluid with you guys
You would totally enjoy and look forward to hanging out and communicating with “the great guy” but most times hanging out with “a great guy” is like a chore
I am not saying that every guy you are free with, that fits into the characteristics of “the great guy” is your husband o, I am just saying if you are with “a great guy” and you don’t understand why you can’t connect with him, then he may not be the one.
Why you shouldn’t Marry a great guy
If you listen to everybody and still marry “a great guy” that you almost have no connection with aka “you are not feeling” you would most likely be
Frustrated
Unfulfilled
Angered easily or bitter
Most likely regret it
Bored out of your mind
Resent the people that advised you to marry him
Struggle to submit
May not have a fulfilled sex life
If you marry “the great guy”
Fulfilled and this will lead to being the best you can be
Happy
Enjoy almost every moment
Connection is magical
You will definitely get angry with him sometimes but hardly bitter
You will not struggle to submit and other things
Most likely have a fulfilled sex life
All I am trying to say, don’t get it twisted, for the fact he is a great guy and fits the picture of the ideal man doesn’t mean he is for you, therefore another girl “a great guy” could be “the great guy” for another girl.
My dear,u have to like the person first.those people will not be there when anything goes in the future..so,dont listen to anything one advice..hand it over to God and know if it's God's will.mariage no be bean cake babes.
Lol! You don't sound like you are mature enough for marriage. Who is going to give you the answer you need on this platform now? Next post please!
FOLLOW UR HEART,MARRIAGE IS NOT SOMETHING TO ENDURE BUT ENJOY.
I wonder what else your looking for in a man. He has everything a woman could demand from a real man and ur still not inlove wit him...nne ndooooo. Ur wahala came from ur villa u need deliverance.
Don't do it. There's your advice.
In my opinion we build Love gradually in every relationship. But the number question u can ask urself is if u can stand him as a friend? Cuz when true friendship is nurtured then love thrives.....
If You are Christian pray...
but for me you can plant love!
85 to 95% of married couples are in a loveless marriage and in my personal opinion and experience you cannot develop the said love much later but what you get is mutual respect and at best comfort because you know or feel that if you leave you might not find anyone like him anymore and for that reason you will now have to compensate by showering all the love you have on your kids but when you're asked you will say you love your family rather than your husband.....Bottom line is you cannot grow to love each other after you're married.
Ask God for divine direction, or tell God to make u fall in love if he is really husband
U will learn to live him, as long as he's a good man and you give yourself chance to love him and make ur marriage work. Don't sit and be waiting for tall, dark and handsome to fall in love.
Marrying a man you are not attracted to nor have even very little feelings for will be a great mistake. Yes!sometimes love comes in marriage, but what if it does not come and you are stuck in a loveless marriage. If he loses his job tomorrow, that will
like be end of your marriage. Don't marry a man because you think he will be a good provider, marry a man because you love him and most especially he is the will of God for you. Pray my dear sister.
Omoh see jamb questions wey u dey ask us re we soothsayers hw we go take no whether u go love am in the future ask the pipo wey tell u say u go love am later na
My dear it is better to build love than falling in love.. Trust me u won't know when or how it will happen. I was not inlove with my hubby before marriage but now I so love him than anything. I cant even do without him. Dear go on and accept his proposal with God love will finally come. Wish u best of luck.
if he wants to marry you that means you are already dating him . can a man come from the blues and want to marry you ? then it wont work cos u dont love him
Yes, it's possible to fall in love in marriage. Women are quite emotional and fall in love more with someone they are quite familiar with. In marriage you'd spend more time together and grow fond of him, from there feelings and subsequently love, develop. My BFF was in a similar situation, and she confessed to not loving her hubby before marriage but after they got married. She chose to marry him inspite of the absence of love initially, because he had all the qualities of a good man and husband, plus he loved her dearly. She chose right because that love he had for her held them close for the first 9yrs of they not having children (they have a set of twins now). Her love for him has grown with time and nutrition. Some cases differ tho due to different precipitating factors.
if love cant be hot and visible now that you guys are single, if you are married that luv will be cos of condition and not straight from the heart
marry those you love so that it can stand the test of time
Thank God u've not yet accepted his proposal, it's gonna be very difficult to love him later so just end it now.
well,he may seem to be a perfect guy but marriage is a life time union and choosing a partner is not base on this qualities alone.if u don't love him at all, you are not attracted to him.pls don't go ahead,because what if the love does not come even after marriage?the the whole thing will be a disaster.i don't know you at the same time u need to open your heart don't live in the past.
Well u hv said it all. U dnt want a loveless marriage bt babes evn marriages wit love hv ish dis days o. Nobody is sayin u shud if u dnt wnt to, so u shud really tink aabt ur decision.
Nne don't go there o! I was in same situation hoping love would develop later. I grew up hating the man with passion, instead of love I developed disgust and resentment towards him. 4yrs later I had to leave the marriage cos it was the most miserable thing I ever found myself in.
Don't even try going into the marriage,cus all dis useless men we av around.ones they put u in d house they wil start misbehaving and if u don't love him from d onset,u wil easily divorce him but it's ur initial love for him dat wil make u tolerate his excesses and carry on.but in all watch and pray
Wait till you reach 40years old by then loves will feeling ur heart,
naso this kinds of people will always disturbing my ear in the church
with all their voice open to air,hear them praying,,,God please slap me with
any how husband when ever they reach 40years old
It's your life, make your own choice
It's your life, make your own choice
Don't force ursef my dear, or else u will regret it.
Okay..that's easy..To begin with,you are thinking about it that's why you' r seeking advice..meaning more or less you' r considering it..Just take a moment and see what I shall point out here for you..you said that he is well behaved, that he loves you and in your very words that he is a "catch" and just may be in time after marriage you might love him...right?
Come to think of it, I will be well behaved too when am seeking to marry a lady( so to the generality of many that's common..okay! however it's out).
Secondly, he loves you and that is good but you don't love him so there is a clause..( marriage union should be an entity comprising of both him and you sharing whatever there is to share and that includes love..so if he loves alone and you do not love him also there will be no sharing of love. He will give, give, continue giving and he may just observe is not getting back..hope you understand my drift? again a clause.
I understand that money is good..and to a very large extend makes life good so to say..but if he is a catch, what are you? And who is really to be caught here? Think dear..unless you are saying that you don't place value on yourself..what I mean to ask is that; don't you have a means to an end, don't you have a job or some form of livelihood? If yes, then come-on you don't need that kind of "catch" what you do need is a catch of an unending happiness in regardless of marital problems fluctuations. Catch or no Catch, money or no money do not solve the issue of finding love it only prolongs it..trust me.
Finally, time is crazy when it matters on love, relationship, marriage and all....Marry him first and later you may love him,,,oooo,thats K, it's old school and that's so cheap...come-on who does that only a valueless fellow I beg to say..are you valueless if that's even a word I beg to use it..Listen, we are talking about LOVE okay! Not just affection, not just care, not just the other kind of things that makes or surrounds love, not the components of love but love itself as an entity. When love does not exist it does not exist. Here we are talking about straight to marriage no form of courtship for some time at least then I seriously fear for any existence of love in and during the marriage.
NB: (i) If you think you like him enough for now to get married..okay
(ii) If you think you can handle the issues that may arise in striving to find love in a MARRIED relationship..okay
(iii) If you think you value more your family opinions about the matter in question...okay
(iv) If you think your decision is worthless compare to people's..okay
(v) If you think you can mortgage your happiness for money..well okay
(vi) If you conclude time can heal every wound..okay
Only you can answer that question because this is all about your emotion. If u get married to him and never get to love him, it will make you very miserable and he will also feel bad
I am in such situation nw, mine is so bad dat he has a small dick again, and I love my dicks very big, huge and mighty
Pls go ahead and marry him. Its even better for d man to love u.....I am a married woman so I know what am talking about..wen a man loves u he overlook ur wrongs and correct dem with luv.......but if is d oda way round...,hmmmmmmm! OYO ni o...
I'D ADVISE YOU NOT TO MARRY HIM IF YOU DONT LOVE HIM RIGHT NOW. YOU WILL ONLY END UP WISHING YOU HAD WAITED
Why the rush..why not get to like him 1st
If you are in love with someone else better not marry cos you will end up comparing the two which will definitely affect the marriage (negatively) but if your not go ahead you will get to love him.
The Holy Book of the Lord(Bible)says wives are supposed to respect their husbands whiles husbands are supposed to love their wives. (Ephesians 5:33) Dear sister, what are you waiting for, if the man is God-fearing? Good luck.
You're very funny.
Your mum didn't tell you it's better for a man to love you more than you love him.
Anyway, I advise you to marry him, becos I was once in your shoes but thank God, I made the right decision and married my husband. He is man, that when I cough, he listens to me.
There is no guarantee you would like him after marriage..
In the first place you women behaves so funny, why will you marry someone you don't have passion for? You want him simply because he has a good job what if he lost the job in which you cherished before you married him?
Have a compassion for someone you want to marry. I advice you to love someone before you get marry at all. Beauty or handsomness is not important but if you consider that yes is alright but love him for whom he is at your courtship
In the first place you women behaves so funny, why will you marry someone you don't have passion for? You want him simply because he has a good job what if he lost the job in which you cherished before you married him?
Have a compassion for someone you want to marry. I advice you to love someone before you get marry at all. Beauty or handsomness is not important but if you consider that yes is alright but love him for whom he is at your courtship
Yes u can. Its more important that he loves u. If he truly loves u and shows it, u will fall in love with him. But if u marry someone u love but does not love u, u will be even more angry.
Please dont!!!! It is difficult enough for married people in love to keep that relationship going, talkless of a relationship defficient of love. Please note that the absence of love magnifies little habits that you may be over looking now. Trust me, in marriage, the tiny habits that used to be cute when dating grow into irritation in marriage and it takes the Grace of God.
Funny u had better take a walk! There is nothing like I will love him letter.Your family adviced you to accept him bcos of his money sorry o don't forget say na u go live with d man o! Not your parents or family.
My sister if really you are convinced he loves you please give him chance.love will over ride later.
love will always come after the marriage. Ask yourself this: what are things you like about him and what don't you like about him and if the good out weigh the bad then; he is the one. Please don't create more bad things because you don't love him, be sincere to yourself.how is communication between you two. I felt the same way before i married my husband three years ago and a wise woman asked me to do this and we have a son now and i am very much in love with my husband and happy with my family.The Bible tells us to love the one we marry and not marry the one you love. What if you marry the one you love and you are never happy, then what? Divorce or suffer in silence. Think about it.
please don't. Love will not come later. Don't get married for convenience sake please. You would be living in hell
love is not what you can rush into at your first sight, it takes a gradual process to retain the feeling and develop it. all you need to do is, ask him for a friendship for a while and then spend some nice time with him like going out together, doing shopping together e.t.c. and if there are still no any sigh of love feeling in you. then, the ball is in your court.
Unless you DO NOT like him at all, I would say take a chance, take a leap of faith.
Waiting for comment. In the same situation too as well
WHAT DO YOU WANT IN A MAN? LOVE IS NOT JUST A FEELING. IT IS A DECISION AND A COMMITMENT YOU MUST BE WILLING TO MAKE.
Don't marry him. I repeat, dont!!!
My dear dis only works for someone dey forced into a marriage, dats (later love) . But u. Ur just attracted to d so called "catch" don't deceive ur self. U should have a reason to love someone
Hmmmmmmn. You go fcuk your boyfriend tire even after you are married. Then hubby will find out someday, then you will be like 'I really didn't love you in the first place' then, marriage will collapse, then children won't know which side to be, daddy's side or mummy's side then children will grow up with the same mentality then...
My dear.dont rush tins wit him.take your time and open your heart to love him. I was once in your position .I kept saying the guy wasn't my spec.then I opened my heart to him. Today he is d best husband any peace loving lady can ask for. The love came from no where gradually and now,i love him to pieces. I have overlooked the "spec" part and I focus on everything he can do to make me happy.just a word of advice give him d chance and he may b better than u expected.
Who told you that there is absence of love .... The man loves her and that is the love but its left for her to respond.... The marriage that had problem is bcos both man and wife are loveless
Myopic reasoning of a poverty stricken fellow
Will fucking the bf help matters? It will only deceive her and the bf will never marry her bcos he will have his own wife , the husband will marry another wife while u the bf fucker will all b alone even ur children will hate you for that. Concentrate on your husband to be alone and allow him fuck you well believe me as long as there are no distractions, you will love him to pieces
My dear..plsssssssssss marryyy him..I was in your shoes 5years ago...I marry my man 9mths after we met...I liked him but he loved me more...I couldn't even define my love for him...but I tell u,today I love him that I can't do without him...it's not like he gives me the whole world but I am contented! Because it is union from God....
Most importantly pray and marry the man that loves you more than you love him!! U will enjoy ur marriage
Ure sooooo right...I was in the same shoes 5years ago too..i am very happy with at peace with my marriage till now. If only ladies can marry the man that loves t more than they do,the high rate of divorce will drop
I will send it again!!! Incase linda doesn't approve my previous marriage! Marryyyyy him!!! U will be at peace cos ure assured he loves u and won't hurt. Women learn to love...u will love him soooo much later...
It is just wrong when people say it is better the man loves you more, what happened to both of you loving yourself equally. This is one of the lies we grew up believing. It is very sad. www.bride2mum.com
My dear, follow your heart, was in your situation too but I followed my heart and married my hubby,dats d best decision Eva. Don't have kids with him yet afta 5years but he is still crazy bout mi and likewise. If he is good to you and treats you right, you would love him. My dear if you can't get wat you like pls like what you get. Simple
Na wa oo,its like most babes marry out of love judging by d comments,we really value marriage for dis nija sha,most babe dream na just marry,no self worth nothin,its well oo,my dear marry for love,happiness is priceless
A man would always marry who they love not who loves them,so pls dear marry who loves you.
I can see why the rate of divorce is high
How would you marry someone you don't love/have feelings for...
"Do not stir up or awaken love until it pleases.” (Songs of Solomon 2:7, 3:5, 8:4)Its mentioned 3 times for emphasis. It cannot be forced or manipulated, let it happen naturally. And if it doesn't...don't marry him until you feel peace about it.
My dear, the answer you are looking for is in the bible not in people's comment, go through the scriptures and pray and u will get ur answer
My dear, ur answer is in the bible and not in people's comments, pray and search the scriptures, u will see it
I reason am sef, It could be
GBAM.
YOU'RE BLESSED.
What a great question.
You may learn to love him in the long run, but you may never become sexually attracted to him. Many ppl marry for security so you would not be the first to go that path. Truthfully, I think love is overrated at times. When you think about family rearing and the peace of mind that comes with being financially solid, and having a partner of good character all of that trumps love which can quickly fizzle when money is not around and the man has a bad character. He loves you so that is a boon, at least you know he is already in your corner. It is your choice at the end of the day.
I really thot I was the only one thinking love is a decision, it is a choice. U spoke my mind.
My thots exactly
Sweetheart, what you feel is lust, obsession or infatuation. And trust me, this "butterfly in ur tummy" stage will pass. I wonder what you will have then. Feeling is fleeting and love is a choice.
I'm in the same dilemma right now and it's giving me sleepless nights. We started dating under the premises that love will grow, one year down the road and I still feel nothing.
I don't know what to do anymore, he is my definition of the perfect guy, any woman would be lucky to marry him. It's by far the best relationship I have ever had but there is something missing.
No physical attraction, no emotional connection, I can't bring myself to have sex with him (funny he thinks I'm just conservative but I'm actually wild in bed if I'm attracted to you)
Seeing him sometimes feels like punishment but I suck it up cos I believe in faking it till you make it but it's getting so exhausting. Funny enough I haven't cheated on him but the way I see it it's only a matter of time.
I don't know what to do, all my friends and family love him ( Damn, if I were them i'd love him too) so I keep my reservations to myself. I know I don't love him, he knows I don't love him but he doesn't seem to care.
I will miss him if I left and feel terrible for breaking his heart but I can't shake the feeling that there is something better out there. Or is this love? Confused girl
You will grow to love him. Sounds like my story but it's not applicable anymore. He is my all in all.
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