Dear LIB readers; how do you handle unreasonable friends?
From a LIB reader...
I have had two friends stay with me on two different occasions and they
stay for months (even though the initial plan is for them to get their
own apartments after two to three months) and I have had to ask them to
leave with reasons why they cannot keep staying with me when I sense
they are not making plans to move out.
Now my issue with these
friends is simple as I currently have another friend going through this…
These friends never contribute to the welfare of the house/living...
They
work and earn salaries like me but they will never buy things as small
as dispenser water when it finishes or even fuel for generator meanwhile
you see, they know the time for every program showing on TV. They
expect me to take care of all the bills while they stay with me and they
spend their money on things that are important to them...
My
question is, do you think it is OK for a friend (the friends that work
or making money NOT the ones who aren't working o or still looking for
job) who is staying at your house to disregard these things and not
contribute because it is not their house?
If they are Making Money and ain't contributing to your welfare, They Should Leave ASAP!! Wonder what your waiting for.. . . . .Disclaimer:: Raise Your Words, Not Your Voice. It Is Rain That Grows Flowers, Not Thunder..
NOPE....They re indeed Unreasonable nd not friends.........Find a way to flush dem out.......They either contribute to d welfare of d house or they bounce out...
We have all shades of friends nowadays. Firstly,define your relationship, not all so called friends are worthy to be called friends. The above scenario accentuate it that they are not friends but parasites,how can they be earning salary and accept freebies too,they are really wicked,it's different if they are not working but your so called friends are working and not contributing anything. My dear,it's not okay at all,so bounce them out of your lives and in this year no room for parasitic friends
My advice, wen u have a friend who wnts to squat nxt time, make it my house my rule. U tel her/him wat is expected frm her/him. And if this person is already wit u den u ve to call him/her and tel her hw u feel. Ur house shud be ur hme and u can't let a friend make u feel otherwise. Goodluck
Simple communication. Talk to them about it. Every type of relationship needs effective communication to thrive. They should contribute. You are not Santa Claus, unless of course you are. Tell them if things don't change then you would be forced to take drastic actions you rather wouldn't take.
Of course not, they are supposed to help out in doing some things and if it isn't okay by them, then they should move out..am not saying they should pay half the rent but since they have jobs that pay the least they can do is buy fuel like u mentioned, ,or help buy one or two things they know u both use.. this is where common sense comes in, u ought not to even remind them to do these things, but I guess common sense isn't as common as it ought to these days,,,people sha smh..
I've learnt that people will never see your assistance to them positively so to save myself headache and heartache I don't allow friends stay over anymore, one night isn't even Ok you,ll be advised to learn the same. Let them stay somewhere else and spend or not spend their money somewhere else
It is so not ok, I'll first talk to that friend about it as subtly as possible probably by giving hints, if they choose not to adjust, you'll bounce. I'm not asking you to pay rent, but if you get enough sense in your head, and you're earning money. You should contribute to taking care of the house.
It is so not ok, I'll first talk to that friend about it as subtly as possible probably by giving hints, if they choose not to adjust, you'll bounce. I'm not asking you to pay rent, but if you get enough sense in your head, and you're earning money. You should contribute to taking care of the house.
My dear, experience they say is the best teacher. Sometimes, its best not expecting them to contribute, cos that way they begin to feel really comfortable and may indefinitely extend their stay. All the same, help when you can and dont let others burn the bridges for others. Remain in control
both are not OK,the ones earning salary must contribute, one must refil the gas while the other pays NEPA bill,while you buy fuel off CU's not not everyday if they no see light make them manage,and the food stuff you all must contribute equally as long as they feed from the house unless they wan dey chop outside, as for the jobless one,I don't no your relationship with him/her,CU's he may turn out to be a liability to you.
This happened to me in school and all I did was to send her out cos she never drops a dime, she eats the most and she changes her wardrobe everytime she travel home. Tell them to start contributing as far as they are working cos they may see nothing bad in what they are doing. But if they refuse, then u can decide to close your eyes and evict them cos its not easy to do it.
Common sense and good upbringing should tell you that when staying with someone, you should contribute in every area since you are not paying rent. Your friends obviously lack these. You should not be afraid to raise the issue with them and let them know the 'rules'. However, next time, before allowing such friends into your home, lay the ground rules upfront so they know what they are getting into. You might have given then the impression that you are Mr/Miss Christmas!
Nope Its neva done Dox frnds re selfish They working and making di paper they shld con tribute If not,they shld get d boot I hate stingy and selfish ppl
Na u born them? Many people are like dat! Parasites on anoda's income while they use theirs to build house in the village. The same people are the first to call u mugu! Pls ones u have a friend u spend on more than twice and he has but hounds his own, desist from such person! Bad people!
Welll,its cos u are being lenient and passive, seems u have millions of money dats y u allow dem get away with this... If u are strict and stand on ur ground dey won't do such...its all ur fault
My dear earlier d better ooo ask them to leave or else they will turn u to a house maid in ur own house. ..They don't ve any plans of leaving soon cos they are comfortable nd not contributing to house...I ve experience dat before nd wuldnt want anybody to experience dat too
They should contribute. Even a friend without a job can help out with menial chores too. I can't stay with someone and not contribute to the welfare of the house.
Look have been through that lane and its as crazy as it is! Just don't allow anyone in no more. That's how friends are no matter how nice they seem to be at first...
It is definitely not okay for "friends" to do that, they are called freeloaders who take advantage of the other person's kindness. For posterity sake, always set boundaries, rules and regulations before you let any friend stay with you for long periods. If their stay is for a few days then the host can just suck it in and tolerate them for that short while.
I have a cousin who once stayed with me and was not contributing a single dime. She was cooking with my gas (and she cooks everyday!) while I hardly cooked except on weekends yet when the gas finished and I kept hinting that this gas finished too fast that I have to buy another one she acted deaf. This is someone that has a running catering business. When I realized she had no plans to contribute one day I came back home from work and told her point blank that going forward we will be contributing for gas and electricity and any other expense that will arise. I saw from her expression that she was not happy but I didn't care. When the time came I asked her for her own half and she reluctantly gave me. I made sure I never stopped. I didn't care. The alternative was for me to ask her to go. So dear LIBer, please if anyone is staying with you and is working ask the person directly to bring half of the money or ship out! People are naturally selfish.
I believe that any adult living with someone should contribute in one way or another either in cash (for a worker) or kind (chores) for those still seeking employment. Now, since you are the one housing the person the responsibility lies on you to ask the person upfront what they should contribute, its either you share it equally or they pay some part i.e. handling water refill or fuel for the generator etc but YOU must involve them in the financial aspect. Don't wait for them to say what they want to contribute because that may never happen. Usually its the fact that they are paying for things in the house that make them appreciate all you do or make them decide to move-out. Lets not be shy about letting people know that they have obligations because you were nice enough to house them in the first place.
I believe that any adult living with someone should contribute in one way or another either in cash (for a worker) or kind (chores) for those still seeking employment. Now, since you are the one housing the person the responsibility lies on you to ask the person upfront what they should contribute, its either you share it equally or they pay some part i.e. handling water refill or fuel for the generator etc but YOU must involve them in the financial aspect. Don't wait for them to say what they want to contribute because that may never happen. Usually its the fact that they are paying for things in the house that make them appreciate all you do or make them decide to move-out. Lets not be shy about letting people know that they have obligations because you were nice enough to house them in the first place.
Its bad attitude and such friends should be avoided. The best thing is for friends to leave apart, the moment friends leave together, hardly will u depart in peace.
They are not unreasonable friends, they are mere parasites. Before you know it, they will bleed you dry and thereafter move into their own homes. These same people will abandon you later, claiming that your impoverishment is caused by your spendthrift attitude.
First and foremost, it is necessary to spell it out for them, don't just expect them to understand the way you.
Remember, not everyone has common sense neither can they use their eyes to identify some common/minor need(s) while some will wittingly and wickedly act a such finding your mouth to hold on.
As a management student, you meant to know and understand that such act must likely happen whenever you're assisting someone. Cheers: AK
my pastor once advised me that to avoid family and friends from milking u dry, that I should get a smaller apartment that won't accommodate many. Just me and my immidiate fam like hubby and kids. If you are single, let the apartment be selfie or selfie and househelp, it will save u money and friends coming to complicate for u.when they come and see the apartment won't ACCommodate much they will be forced to move on as soon as possible. U can always help them from afar cos some will come with habits that may influence young minds badly and such instances u already talked about.
Helping someone don't need pay back. If your friend is living with you and not pay any bills, You have to explain to him and he will definitely understand you.
Your friends are both insensitive and selfish. You just have to tell them calmly to be sensitive to the needs in the house. If they disregard you then they have to go otherwise they will drain you emotionally, financially and spiritually. Speak out or begrudge in silence. Guys, Do you want a 'serious' relationship? Try BV HookUps
Some people are like that, all they care about is them self, why should she be told to do little things in the house don't they have common sense I'm working you are working too. I think the best way is to share responsibilities! She takes care of some needs in the house and you do the rest, if she refuse you show her the way out she is a parasite! Such friends when you are broke and down they will show u pepper!!!
Is not ok at all and sometimes when u ask dem to leave ur house u become d most wicked person on earth.........I had a frnd like dat,urs is dispenser water dat one too cost naa mine common serchet water she couldn't buy once d water finishes she wil go downstairs and buy one seachet for hersf so I had no choice than sendin her out of my house,since then I hv becme her enemie for 4years nw.So I tink d best tin is not allowin dem to stay for d first time,find a reason to convince dem if u really want dat friendship to last
sorry (in calabar tune)my sista I feel ur pain...ooh..buh i tink shuld say it 2 dere face. Dey might not knw ur pain..its nature of ppl.(Especially all dis untrained lag gals)
I think it is totally unfair. Nect time, tell your friends from day 1 that these are the bills and this is what they have to contribute if they want to live with you. If they dobt like it, they should move out..... parasites. I have a brother in law too who has refused to move out despite the fact that he has been working/living with us for 3 years. He wants us to pay his rent first....mschewww
My dear, I have been in your situation. The only way you will have peace of mind is to politely ask them to get their own place. Give them a deadline and stick to it. There are many friends who take advantage of people's kind gestures. But first, discuss the topic of their contribution to the house and needs of the house. I'm sure they know but want to be asked. You alone will know from their responses if they are willing to change and then make your decision....I've got to say Good luck though. Lol!. Kicking out friends isn't good business.
Capital YES, they need to contribute if they are working or earning money. It will be so selfish of them not to. Some people think that some are Mugu. Abeg chase them Comot your house....Rubbish
Some people are like that, all they care about is them self, why should she be told to do little things in the house don't they have common sense I'm working you are working too. I think the best way is to share responsibilities! She takes care of some needs in the house and you do the rest, if she refuse you show her the way out she is a parasite! Such friends when you are broke and down they will show u pepper!!!
It makes no sense keeping such friends cos u aren't their money maker now u both responsible to pay bills and buy tins since they are eating and still staying in d house. Wat u have to do is tell dem politely if dey don't know wat to do cos som people just don't know wat to do unless they are being told
U knw what to do. The best advice is the one given to urself. Stay there and be asking LIB readers while they use u to grow and dump u when they are done.
They are bitches. i have had to send one out of my owz one time. I don't know how people will feel cool with me footing 2 people's bill. They do not av conscience ni
Well.....it doesnt matter to me. Wll advice u to It for God nd Moreover if dey r nt wv u, U wll fix everythn up without dia money. I think as time goes on dey ll realise every little thn u r doing for them. Its calld tolerance.
Its not right. I've bn in this situation before and what i did was draw up a roaster of everything they use. Before i make any purchase they all must contribute. At a time, i came up with a welfare purse where we drop the same amount of money on a weekly basis. The money from this purse is used for foodstuff, water, fuel, servicing and d rest. Soon it became a norm. Some friends r just parasitic and inconsiderate.
Those that are working are supposed to be contributing in anyway they can, but is a tin of choice, if they don't, don't force dem and keep on doing the ones u can..
try tellin em, if u see no changes, ma guy move those mofuckers out menh! Trust me ave bin thru dah shit bfore, I told em to there F**king Face!, @linda u d boss
My opinion is, once they start making money, they are fit to move out. If they don't want to, then you have to do what you need to do, bearing in mind that "life is not fair".
MR EDDY said this harmattan is sponsored by MTN. It is everywhere u go.
No friend of mine will try that except if I know he or she is financially handicap. I suggest u let them know u ain't running a charity organization,and if they don't comply please use them play free kick out of ur apartment. ^ ^ ^™THAT EDO BOY.COM~wishes u happy new year.
It is not always easy to do away with this kind of friends. The best thing is to avoid them @ d initial time,reject such request bcos u will only end up been enemies. They will even go to the extend of hurting u with the secrects u shared with them. U can help them to get sheltered somewhere else and let them no that u cannot do it, for some reasons.
That is absolutely rubbish, they can't stay for free and be eating for free. They should be able to contribute to little things. That is the way life is. You both get paid so they have to contribute.
When you want to buy fuel tell em to contribute, when the water finishes, tell them to contribute. Truth is as long as you don't ask, some people will just seat and relax and reason that you have it covered
My dear do not accommodate any friends at all,let them visit n go but stay for more than a week/months no way they are always ungrateful even snatch ur BF join am sef.kick them out asap.
That's crap. They live in the house with you so they are equally entitled to partake in the bills as well. If that's not happening, kick them out immediately
Firstly,you can give your friend a period of six month duration to stay in your house.While within that period you her the amount she have to be contributing for upkeep of the house since she is working.
My dear kick dem out is your house Since they didn't contribute anything to the welfare of the house Because they were unreasonable doesn't mean everybody is So don't judge the next person base on that
Lolz. I know the feeling. Most of dem are just selfish nd feel dat since dey are in ur house u shud foot all d bills. So bad. Kindly check out my blog nd share ur opinions. Tks. http://pamscrib.blogspot.com/?m=1
That's so wrong & unreasonable of them. They are to contribute oh jare as long as they earn salary. Everybody's trying to make a living/survive. You giving them shelter has even saved their necks from a lot. MAKE DEM CONTRIBUTE OH
It's not okay at all... Kick 'em out biko cos obviously, they are selfish, self centered and inconsiderate... You don't have to tell 'em to buy fuel for d gen if they were to be good ppl cos it's a minor thing dat either of them shld do at least once in a while.. I've been in d same position b4 and I know how it feels to have friends lyk dat arnd, imposing themselves on u...
Its very unreasonable, some pple turn themselves to parasite under d pretense of friendship. u are a friend not their Aunty, evn if u dont ask, as long as she works n earn salary #courtesy demands
I will be as sincere as I can be.if I have a friend whoses working staying with me, he/she must contribute shikena.except ofcourse I am dangote's daughter.
My dear, is their fault.They don't want to buy anything so that after leaving ur house,it wld bcom ur property.its bad not to contribute in where u are leaving.
Is not ok and they are not even a good friend. Atleast the suppose helping in some bill. Best thing to do is to ask them to leave bcos the are wicked. LIB EMPIRE
I know how you feel, I have been there. It is not ok for them not contributing to the house expenses. And I promise yu u are better of without them, the best way to alienate them is make them feel nt welcomed.
It is wrong. Don't let people continue using u because they notice u are too kind to a fault. From the moment they enter ur house, let them know in a nice manner/voice
No biggie , be polite enough to tell them they are not welcomed anymore or you try to tell them what they are doing which you hate and which is why they have to go. ¤ ¤¤¤GUTS OVER FEAR¤¤¤ ¤ ¤¤¤QUEENMAYA¤¤¤
My dear send dem away joor, ur best friend could be ur worst enemy u never know, women are soo wicked dis days oo, never bring dem too closeoo, keep dem at a distance ooo, dis same people u are doing all dis for, will turn around to bite youoo, a word is enough for a wise, send dem awayoo oo , dats my own shaa, if dey happen to be nice ones which I doubt, at least dey should be contributing, but plss even dey contribute or not abeg send dem awayooooo
If they must enjoy it, they shld as well contribute to it , but wait oooo its only a wicked frnd that will fold hands and watch u replace these stuffs without making efforts to assist, pls sack them all !!!
Dear serve them 'quick notice'.. Truely some folks ar dump most times, u aint paying no rent, n yet u can afford 2 buy toothpaste wen there is none n yet u feed in ma house.. Babe am sorry bt please close ma door behind u.
LIKE YOU SAID "UNREASONABLE FRIENDS" BCOS A REASONABLE FRIEND DONT NEED TO BE TOLD !ANYWAY I WONT EVEN KEEP IN UNDER MY ROOF TALK MORE OF EXPECTING ANYTIN FROM U
As For me is not right u call them out and tell them that u not comfortable wit their attitude that is if u still want them to keep staying wit u if not ask them to leave coz u have try for them.
It's really wrong to squat under someone and not contribute to the welfare of the house. I once had such experience what I did was to start eating outside, buy bottled water and pretended I had no money. It very common amongst the ladies.
It's your house and your responsibility to take care of the bills, but if u think their presence in the house is affecting u financially- then u have all the right to ask them to start contributing towards the upkeep of the house or ask them to move out.
It's simple, if they can't contribute cos it's not their hux, den dey shld park out. Those are parasites kinda frnd, they shldn't b welcomd in d first. Mtchewww....
If they must enjoy it, they shld as well contribute to it , but wait oooo its only a wicked frnd that will fold hands and watch u replace these stuffs without making efforts to assist, pls sack them all !!!
Human beings love to take advantage of things. The earlier you make it clear the better. If after the person stays a month and has never brought anything to d house, you have to then tell d person dat she should start contributing in d house. If she is angry she can leave . If d person has spent more than 3months my dear start sharing all bills with the person including shopping .if the person has spent one year, you both should divide the house rent and pay.
Not theirs?they live with u,make use of those tins,y wouldn't they contribute.My advice is;get another apartment if u can,wen d rent expires,move outta the haus with ur properties and c if they wouldn't take up their responsibility.For d mean time,stop doing the things u do,manage if u have to,make everything about you.Surely,they will come to you.
Em pple,m 22yrs old nd just startd dating dz man. D fin z wen he kissz me tz always irritatng. he jst suck ma lips nd jam his tongue down ma throat. Z dat hw pple kiss? Coz m a V. No insults pls
They should contribute at least for d sake of the comfortability of the person Ur staying with....its rili wrng to parasite on someone. I cud be generous but only when I'm loaded with money...at d slightest hint of depreciation I'l subtly start showing my irritation to that friend...dis issue is worse among uni girls...sme roommates hide their pocket money and live off your food and provisions
My dear some friends like feed-off people and it's very bad. The day you talk about it you become a bad person. The best thing is not to let them stay at all.
I hv a frd like dat too dat use to stay Wt me!she can eat like idiot still she will not buy yet she works!she can't buy toothpaste,soap to wash her cloth basically nothing!i stopped talking to her and sent her packing cos I was not working and d little thg I hv she finished evrythg not considering if hv eaten or not.Rubbish
so people like that exist. hmmmm that's being unreasonable ... uv gat every reason to send dem out of ur house.. and next time you want to take In another ..come out clear with him/her...for crying out loud they are working..
This is the problem with so many Nigerians. Too much awoof and showing sense full our blood. Pls u should let them know your plight if not they should leave. Some people are just parasites. For that 1 that doesn't have a job should stay n be doing the necessary house chores pending when he/she gets a job.
foolishlly wise friends..but befor u admit friends nxt time mak sure u share responsibilities to them...u can even tel dem about ur xperience wit previous frnds.dat wil mak dem sit up
That's rubbish! U can be under my roof wit out contributing 2 the warefare of the house, weda u dey wrk or nt, if u earn salaries u must contribute financialy! If u dnt earn any salary den u must do the cleaning and going 2 market! Is onlky an unreasonable person dat wuld feel comfortable wit laziness and stinginess. Can live wit such kinda pple
That can't work with me. I will tell you to your face to care of those bills that is why we are friends. If the friend isn't working that is a different ball game. I can't keeping a friend working and stay in my house behave in this manner.
The thing is that most people seem to relax when they see a situation where another person takes care of them. It's very few people that would be willing to contribute. It's okay to tell them to contribute once in a while, when something needs to be done just meet them and tell them about it and collect money from them. Make it clear to them but not rudely that since they are staying that you cannot carry all the load and responsibilities alone. Let them know that they have to try and make things also comfortable for them but let them understand as much as you can that you aren't trying to be insulting to them just because you have a place. Some will understand, some won't but you are only human right? you can only do your best
350 comments:
1 – 200 of 350 Newer› Newest»They must contribute or U chase dem out
Unreasonable friends lol you cut them off.....yay I don't want shit in my life
Tor! U are still friends no matter what goes on. Remember that
If they are Making Money and ain't contributing to your welfare, They Should Leave ASAP!! Wonder what your waiting for..
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.Disclaimer:: Raise Your Words, Not Your Voice. It Is Rain That Grows Flowers, Not Thunder..
Give them quick notice,try and tell them your mind...that's my advise
This isnt a question for debate coz i see the answer in your words already.If its OK you wont be complaining
What nonsense they must contribute, Nigeria and this mentality
Chance dem away. #oneandonlynwa@gmail.com#
NOPE....They re indeed Unreasonable nd not friends.........Find a way to flush dem out.......They either contribute to d welfare of d house or they bounce out...
Moye says so via BB Passport...Courtesy LIB....
Abeg Abeg pursue dem all
Chase dem away tho! #oneandonlynwa@gmail.com#
Na so, we call dem parasitic frnds. You too learn to keep your money & do only d absolutely necessary things. Linda take note!
Na so, we call dem parasitic frnds. You too learn to keep your money & do only d absolutely necessary things. Linda take note!
We have all shades of friends nowadays. Firstly,define your relationship, not all so called friends are worthy to be called friends. The above scenario accentuate it that they are not friends but parasites,how can they be earning salary and accept freebies too,they are really wicked,it's different if they are not working but your so called friends are working and not contributing anything. My dear,it's not okay at all,so bounce them out of your lives and in this year no room for parasitic friends
My advice, wen u have a friend who wnts to squat nxt time, make it my house my rule. U tel her/him wat is expected frm her/him. And if this person is already wit u den u ve to call him/her and tel her hw u feel. Ur house shud be ur hme and u can't let a friend make u feel otherwise. Goodluck
Capital NO, it isn't ok one bit... Yu knw dey say common sense ain't common...
Allowing any of them to stay is like having countless children of ur own to cater 4 dem.instead go adopt kids 4 d orphanage home.
It isn't okay my dear. Reasons: when puting up with a frnd and u knw u re working, u don't need to be tld wat and wat nt to contribute. Asked them out
Abeg tell them you need your space.
Sit them down n talk sense in2 them. If they don't change...then u av evry right to ask them to leave your house. Monkey dey work Baboon d chop!
It's a double wahala 4 dead body.make non of dem stay.
I just let them go.
Miss indomie says so.
U can always say in their presence d things dat needs to be done but dat you don't have d money 4 it at d moment. Linda take note!
Simple communication. Talk to them about it. Every type of relationship needs effective communication to thrive. They should contribute. You are not Santa Claus, unless of course you are. Tell them if things don't change then you would be forced to take drastic actions you rather wouldn't take.
U can always say in their presence d things dat needs to be done but dat you don't have d money 4 it at d moment. Linda take note!
I detest selfish people. So dey can't continue living wit me. #oneandonlynwa@gmail.com#
U handle them by 1. holding them by the collar with two fingers 2. Lifting then up in the air 3. Dumping them in a waste bin near you
Let me wait for comments
OMG! Yall should read this on lagos girlsl
Of course not, they are supposed to help out in doing some things and if it isn't okay by them, then they should move out..am not saying they should pay half the rent but since they have jobs that pay the least they can do is buy fuel like u mentioned, ,or help buy one or two things they know u both use.. this is where common sense comes in, u ought not to even remind them to do these things, but I guess common sense isn't as common as it ought to these days,,,people sha smh..
It is utterly wrong!!! And such friends should be forced to go and use their money to rent their house and pay their bills!
I've learnt that people will never see your assistance to them positively so to save myself headache and heartache I don't allow friends stay over anymore, one night isn't even Ok you,ll be advised to learn the same. Let them stay somewhere else and spend or not spend their money somewhere else
No! Nt at al ok. All u need do is sit them down and talk to them dats all.
It is so not ok, I'll first talk to that friend about it as subtly as possible probably by giving hints, if they choose not to adjust, you'll bounce. I'm not asking you to pay rent, but if you get enough sense in your head, and you're earning money. You should contribute to taking care of the house.
Babes, wisdom is profitable to direct. Please send them packing. 😡
It is so not ok, I'll first talk to that friend about it as subtly as possible probably by giving hints, if they choose not to adjust, you'll bounce. I'm not asking you to pay rent, but if you get enough sense in your head, and you're earning money. You should contribute to taking care of the house.
no long story...chase them out
#Commeting thru Glo 4G LTE
My dear, experience they say is the best teacher. Sometimes, its best not expecting them to contribute, cos that way they begin to feel really comfortable and may indefinitely extend their stay. All the same, help when you can and dont let others burn the bridges for others. Remain in control
They they con't contribute to those important things,they shold find their way,simple!
#GodblessNigeria
both are not OK,the ones earning salary must contribute, one must refil the gas while the other pays NEPA bill,while you buy fuel off CU's not not everyday if they no see light make them manage,and the food stuff you all must contribute equally as long as they feed from the house unless they wan dey chop outside, as for the jobless one,I don't no your relationship with him/her,CU's he may turn out to be a liability to you.
They should go get a house since they also work as you do...Just give them so time sha with notice
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Believe me is not okay..they are just parasite.
This happened to me in school and all I did was to send her out cos she never drops a dime, she eats the most and she changes her wardrobe everytime she travel home. Tell them to start contributing as far as they are working cos they may see nothing bad in what they are doing. But if they refuse, then u can decide to close your eyes and evict them cos its not easy to do it.
Common sense and good upbringing should tell you that when staying with someone, you should contribute in every area since you are not paying rent. Your friends obviously lack these. You should not be afraid to raise the issue with them and let them know the 'rules'. However, next time, before allowing such friends into your home, lay the ground rules upfront so they know what they are getting into. You might have given then the impression that you are Mr/Miss Christmas!
It depends on how to treat dem with the house..if u make dem feel its also their house,fine and good dey r meant to contribute
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Nope
Its neva done
Dox frnds re selfish
They working and making di paper they shld con tribute
If not,they shld get d boot
I hate stingy and selfish ppl
.....SƖεεkz
Na u born them? Many people are like dat! Parasites on anoda's income while they use theirs to build house in the village. The same people are the first to call u mugu! Pls ones u have a friend u spend on more than twice and he has but hounds his own, desist from such person! Bad people!
Welll,its cos u are being lenient and passive, seems u have millions of money dats y u allow dem get away with this... If u are strict and stand on ur ground dey won't do such...its all ur fault
LINDA,I HAVE ALWAYS KNOWN YOU AS A SELFISH BITCH
My dear earlier d better ooo ask them to leave or else they will turn u to a house maid in ur own house. ..They don't ve any plans of leaving soon cos they are comfortable nd not contributing to house...I ve experience dat before nd wuldnt want anybody to experience dat too
They should contribute. Even a friend without a job can help out with menial chores too. I can't stay with someone and not contribute to the welfare of the house.
That's absolutely wrong. why will some1 stay with u & not take care of bills? abeg pursue them kiakia
Look have been through that lane and its as crazy as it is! Just don't allow anyone in no more. That's how friends are no matter how nice they seem to be at first...
It is definitely not okay for "friends" to do that, they are called freeloaders who take advantage of the other person's kindness. For posterity sake, always set boundaries, rules and regulations before you let any friend stay with you for long periods. If their stay is for a few days then the host can just suck it in and tolerate them for that short while.
I have a cousin who once stayed with me and was not contributing a single dime. She was cooking with my gas (and she cooks everyday!) while I hardly cooked except on weekends yet when the gas finished and I kept hinting that this gas finished too fast that I have to buy another one she acted deaf. This is someone that has a running catering business. When I realized she had no plans to contribute one day I came back home from work and told her point blank that going forward we will be contributing for gas and electricity and any other expense that will arise. I saw from her expression that she was not happy but I didn't care. When the time came I asked her for her own half and she reluctantly gave me. I made sure I never stopped. I didn't care. The alternative was for me to ask her to go. So dear LIBer, please if anyone is staying with you and is working ask the person directly to bring half of the money or ship out! People are naturally selfish.
I believe that any adult living with someone should contribute in one way or another either in cash (for a worker) or kind (chores) for those still seeking employment. Now, since you are the one housing the person the responsibility lies on you to ask the person upfront what they should contribute, its either you share it equally or they pay some part i.e. handling water refill or fuel for the generator etc but YOU must involve them in the financial aspect. Don't wait for them to say what they want to contribute because that may never happen. Usually its the fact that they are paying for things in the house that make them appreciate all you do or make them decide to move-out. Lets not be shy about letting people know that they have obligations because you were nice enough to house them in the first place.
common sense isn't that common...some people have to be told what to do before they do it
Don't allow any one stay in ur house expecially if s/he is not working.
I believe that any adult living with someone should contribute in one way or another either in cash (for a worker) or kind (chores) for those still seeking employment. Now, since you are the one housing the person the responsibility lies on you to ask the person upfront what they should contribute, its either you share it equally or they pay some part i.e. handling water refill or fuel for the generator etc but YOU must involve them in the financial aspect. Don't wait for them to say what they want to contribute because that may never happen. Usually its the fact that they are paying for things in the house that make them appreciate all you do or make them decide to move-out. Lets not be shy about letting people know that they have obligations because you were nice enough to house them in the first place.
So not okay. Please kick them out
Simply calculate d monthly bills n share it accordingly. I mean like 2:1. So they'll know their responsibility at d end of d month.
Kick them out of your house. They are not grateful human beings.
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@Mr Endowed via Lumia phone
Kick them out of your house. They are not grateful human beings.
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@Mr Endowed via Lumia phone
Its bad attitude and such friends should be avoided. The best thing is for friends to leave apart, the moment friends leave together, hardly will u depart in peace.
Call there attention to it
They are not unreasonable friends, they are mere parasites. Before you know it, they will bleed you dry and thereafter move into their own homes. These same people will abandon you later, claiming that your impoverishment is caused by your spendthrift attitude.
First and foremost, it is necessary to spell it out for them, don't just expect them to understand the way you.
Remember, not everyone has common sense neither can they use their eyes to identify some common/minor need(s) while some will wittingly and wickedly act a such finding your mouth to hold on.
As a management student, you meant to know and understand that such act must likely happen whenever you're assisting someone.
Cheers:
AK
... you should continue doing what you are doing. You're getting blessings
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@Mr Endowed via Lumia phone
my pastor once advised me that to avoid family and friends from milking u dry, that I should get a smaller apartment that won't accommodate many. Just me and my immidiate fam like hubby and kids. If you are single, let the apartment be selfie or selfie and househelp, it will save u money and friends coming to complicate for u.when they come and see the apartment won't ACCommodate much they will be forced to move on as soon as possible. U can always help them from afar cos some will come with habits that may influence young minds badly and such instances u already talked about.
Helping someone don't need pay back. If your friend is living with you and not pay any bills, You have to explain to him and he will definitely understand you.
.. Show me your friends I will know who you are
totally understandable, they are all insenstive
Your friends are both insensitive and selfish. You just have to tell them calmly to be sensitive to the needs in the house. If they disregard you then they have to go otherwise they will drain you emotionally, financially and spiritually. Speak out or begrudge in silence.
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they are unreasonable and are a scourge that should be wiped out
Some people are like that, all they care about is them self, why should she be told to do little things in the house don't they have common sense I'm working you are working too. I think the best way is to share responsibilities! She takes care of some needs in the house and you do the rest, if she refuse you show her the way out she is a parasite! Such friends when you are broke and down they will show u pepper!!!
Send'em out,they're wicked!
That's very bad of them, that won't work wif me o every body has to contribute @all times!
Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Personally, I can have a friend put up with me for a few days. If it exceeds the time, u gotta go.
Is not ok at all and sometimes when u ask dem to leave ur house u become d most wicked person on earth.........I had a frnd like dat,urs is dispenser water dat one too cost naa mine common serchet water she couldn't buy once d water finishes she wil go downstairs and buy one seachet for hersf so I had no choice than sendin her out of my house,since then I hv becme her enemie for 4years nw.So I tink d best tin is not allowin dem to stay for d first time,find a reason to convince dem if u really want dat friendship to last
sorry (in calabar tune)my sista I feel ur pain...ooh..buh i tink shuld say it 2 dere face. Dey might not knw ur pain..its nature of ppl.(Especially all dis untrained lag gals)
I think it is totally unfair. Nect time, tell your friends from day 1 that these are the bills and this is what they have to contribute if they want to live with you. If they dobt like it, they should move out..... parasites. I have a brother in law too who has refused to move out despite the fact that he has been working/living with us for 3 years. He wants us to pay his rent first....mschewww
My dear, I have been in your situation. The only way you will have peace of mind is to politely ask them to get their own place. Give them a deadline and stick to it. There are many friends who take advantage of people's kind gestures. But first, discuss the topic of their contribution to the house and needs of the house. I'm sure they know but want to be asked. You alone will know from their responses if they are willing to change and then make your decision....I've got to say Good luck though. Lol!. Kicking out friends isn't good business.
Capital YES, they need to contribute if they are working or earning money. It will be so selfish of them not to. Some people think that some are Mugu. Abeg chase them Comot your house....Rubbish
Some people are like that, all they care about is them self, why should she be told to do little things in the house don't they have common sense I'm working you are working too. I think the best way is to share responsibilities! She takes care of some needs in the house and you do the rest, if she refuse you show her the way out she is a parasite! Such friends when you are broke and down they will show u pepper!!!
Welcome to my world..well sweethrt kick their ass out.
Tell them what you want them to contribute to. If they refuse, then they park and leave. That's cheating for not contributing while earning an income.
Shalom in Nigeria, Amen
It makes no sense keeping such friends cos u aren't their money maker now u both responsible to pay bills and buy tins since they are eating and still staying in d house. Wat u have to do is tell dem politely if dey don't know wat to do cos som people just don't know wat to do unless they are being told
U knw what to do. The best advice is the one given to urself. Stay there and be asking LIB readers while they use u to grow and dump u when they are done.
They are bitches. i have had to send one out of my owz one time. I don't know how people will feel cool with me footing 2 people's bill. They do not av conscience ni
Well.....it doesnt matter to me. Wll advice u to It for God nd Moreover if dey r nt wv u, U wll fix everythn up without dia money. I think as time goes on dey ll realise every little thn u r doing for them. Its calld tolerance.
It wrong, wrong and wrong...
Dis shows such friends r insensitive and they r to b shown d way out asap.
True and real friends r suppose to think alike. So if u call d attention of d friend to let him or her knw abt it and if after dat no changes...
Then feel free to show d friend d way out pls.
It wrong, wrong and wrong...
Dis shows such friends r insensitive and they r to b shown d way out asap.
True and real friends r suppose to think alike. So if u call d attention of d friend to let him or her knw abt it and if after dat no changes...
Then feel free to show d friend d way out pls.
It wrong, wrong and wrong...
Dis shows such friends r insensitive and they r to b shown d way out asap.
True and real friends r suppose to think alike. So if u call d attention of d friend to let him or her knw abt it and if after dat no changes...
Then feel free to show d friend d way out pls.
Its not right. I've bn in this situation before and what i did was draw up a roaster of everything they use. Before i make any purchase they all must contribute. At a time, i came up with a welfare purse where we drop the same amount of money on a weekly basis. The money from this purse is used for foodstuff, water, fuel, servicing and d rest. Soon it became a norm. Some friends r just parasitic and inconsiderate.
Betta ve a house meeting nd divide responsibilties.... pple can b pests.
Those that are working are supposed to be contributing in anyway they can, but is a tin of choice, if they don't, don't force dem and keep on doing the ones u can..
NINA
try tellin em, if u see no changes, ma guy move those mofuckers out menh! Trust me ave bin thru dah shit bfore, I told em to there F**king Face!, @linda u d boss
Na na they must contribute. Haf had similar experience
Let them leave ur house and look for their own house cos u can't stay with selfish friends
Ask google
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It is OK for them to contribute oo
My opinion is, once they start making money, they are fit to move out. If they don't want to, then you have to do what you need to do, bearing in mind that "life is not fair".
MR EDDY said this harmattan is sponsored by MTN. It is everywhere u go.
No friend of mine will try that except if I know he or she is financially handicap. I suggest u let them know u ain't running a charity organization,and if they don't comply please use them play free kick out of ur apartment.
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^™THAT EDO BOY.COM~wishes u happy new year.
It's not ok!!!!! Send them packing. They are leeches.
That's too bad,they hv to contribute,or r u running a charity organisation? If it were me,they'd be long gone
There's no reason @all for it. It's sheer insensitivity
It is not always easy to do away with this kind of friends. The best thing is to avoid them @ d initial time,reject such request bcos u will only end up been enemies. They will even go to the extend of hurting u with the secrects u shared with them. U can help them to get sheltered somewhere else and let them no that u cannot do it, for some reasons.
Send them packing they have nothing to offer so y keep them around....
I ave one of those in my house
Take a walk
I've had issues lik dat o,som pple jst use d fact dat u're calm nd nice as an advantage,dats nt rite @ll!! God wil judge dem
That is absolutely rubbish, they can't stay for free and be eating for free. They should be able to contribute to little things. That is the way life is. You both get paid so they have to contribute.
Loool..let them go..they are being selfish n unreasonable................................#KingOfKings #6God
They are parasites (enemies of progress) pls chase them away, if they refused to go, use shovel & shoved them out...
When you want to buy fuel tell em to contribute, when the water finishes, tell them to contribute. Truth is as long as you don't ask, some people will just seat and relax and reason that you have it covered
My dear do not accommodate any friends at all,let them visit n go but stay for more than a week/months no way they are always ungrateful even snatch ur BF join am sef.kick them out asap.
That's crap. They live in the house with you so they are equally entitled to partake in the bills as well. If that's not happening, kick them out immediately
Firstly,you can give your friend a period of six month duration to stay in your house.While within that period you her the amount she have to be contributing for upkeep of the house since she is working.
My dear kick dem out is your house
Since they didn't contribute anything to the welfare of the house
Because they were unreasonable doesn't mean everybody is
So don't judge the next person base on that
Lolz. I know the feeling. Most of dem are just selfish nd feel dat since dey are in ur house u shud foot all d bills. So bad.
Kindly check out my blog nd share ur opinions. Tks.
http://pamscrib.blogspot.com/?m=1
That's so wrong & unreasonable of them. They are to contribute oh jare as long as they earn salary. Everybody's trying to make a living/survive. You giving them shelter has even saved their necks from a lot. MAKE DEM CONTRIBUTE OH
the best thing is never to allow them come and even think of staying. they just feed on your blessings and finances. i wont ever try it.
It's not okay at all... Kick 'em out biko cos obviously, they are selfish, self centered and inconsiderate... You don't have to tell 'em to buy fuel for d gen if they were to be good ppl cos it's a minor thing dat either of them shld do at least once in a while.. I've been in d same position b4 and I know how it feels to have friends lyk dat arnd, imposing themselves on u...
Must they b told...thy knw wat dy r doin....selfish ppl ....talk to dem if dem no change den .......
Its very unreasonable, some pple turn themselves to parasite under d pretense of friendship. u are a friend not their Aunty, evn if u dont ask, as long as she works n earn salary #courtesy demands
I will be as sincere as I can be.if I have a friend whoses working staying with me, he/she must contribute shikena.except ofcourse I am dangote's daughter.
My dear, is their fault.They don't want to buy anything so that after leaving ur house,it wld bcom ur property.its bad not to contribute in where u are leaving.
@Emekanews
Kick out the selfish bitches!
It is not ok! It is pure wickedness and selfishness! They need to go! Dey earn salaries so i dont see y dey shud still stay with you!
It is not ok! It is pure wickedness and selfishness! They need to go! Dey earn salaries so i dont see y dey shud still stay with you!
Push them out before is too late.... Na me be the sexy wealth, I have spoken
Is not ok and they are not even a good friend. Atleast the suppose helping in some bill. Best thing to do is to ask them to leave bcos the are wicked. LIB EMPIRE
I know how you feel, I have been there. It is not ok for them not contributing to the house expenses. And I promise yu u are better of without them, the best way to alienate them is make them feel nt welcomed.
It is wrong. Don't let people continue using u because they notice u are too kind to a fault. From the moment they enter ur house, let them know in a nice manner/voice
No biggie , be polite enough to tell them they are not welcomed anymore or you try to tell them what they are doing which you hate and which is why they have to go.
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¤¤¤QUEENMAYA¤¤¤
My dear send dem away joor, ur best friend could be ur worst enemy u never know, women are soo wicked dis days oo, never bring dem too closeoo, keep dem at a distance ooo, dis same people u are doing all dis for, will turn around to bite youoo, a word is enough for a wise, send dem awayoo oo , dats my own shaa, if dey happen to be nice ones which I doubt, at least dey should be contributing, but plss even dey contribute or not abeg send dem awayooooo
If they must enjoy it, they shld as well contribute to it , but wait oooo its only a wicked frnd that will fold hands and watch u replace these stuffs without making efforts to assist, pls sack them all !!!
Absolutely not...
No no no no......they need to contribute
it is not fair at all. They should contribute no matter how meagre it is or you send them packing. Haba!.
Its so not OK and to me, those ain't friends. Find a way to make them leave your house.
Dear serve them 'quick notice'.. Truely some folks ar dump most times, u aint paying no rent, n yet u can afford 2 buy toothpaste wen there is none n yet u feed in ma house.. Babe am sorry bt please close ma door behind u.
Abeg chase them comot from ur house , very stingy wicked souls !
This has become the norm in our society, it's outrightly absurd.
It's nt ok at all.
LIKE YOU SAID "UNREASONABLE FRIENDS" BCOS A REASONABLE FRIEND DONT NEED TO BE TOLD !ANYWAY I WONT EVEN KEEP IN UNDER MY ROOF TALK MORE OF EXPECTING ANYTIN FROM U
They are just been selfish and immature.. @official_AGA
Ur even complaining abt your fwnds, I hav no fwnds, i'm even lookin 4 sef, well I think u shld tel her ur mind so u wuldnt die of heart attack 1 day
Don't Make them feel bad but try and avoid all issues that bring them closer to u.
Start avoiding their interactions and presence, soon enough they will understand the hand writing on the wall
Throw them out!
They are bad friends and should be kept out of sight.
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Throw them out!
KILL THEM....AKA...BLURSHING
Throw them out!
They should contribute one way or the other without been told....That is part of responsibility
I stayed with an aunt of mine sometime ago .and she is a very rich woman....but when I go out.. I buy as little as slice bread 200naira
That is been responsible
@Galore
They re wicked. This is pure wickedness QED.
@SOPHIA STEPHEN
Dat is human being 4 you..wn you try 2 correct dem dey see you s a bad person...
As For me is not right u call them out and tell them that u not comfortable wit their attitude that is if u still want them to keep staying wit u if not ask them to leave coz u have try for them.
It Is wrong for them not to contribute. They are only being self centred.
It's really wrong to squat under someone and not contribute to the welfare of the house. I once had such experience what I did was to start eating outside, buy bottled water and pretended I had no money. It very common amongst the ladies.
It's your house and your responsibility to take care of the bills, but if u think their presence in the house is affecting u financially- then u have all the right to ask them to start contributing towards the upkeep of the house or ask them to move out.
Throw them out. Lazy asses.
It's simple, if they can't contribute cos it's not their hux, den dey shld park out. Those are parasites kinda frnd, they shldn't b welcomd in d first. Mtchewww....
If they must enjoy it, they shld as well contribute to it , but wait oooo its only a wicked frnd that will fold hands and watch u replace these stuffs without making efforts to assist, pls sack them all !!!
Is not ok at all.
# I know who I am #
Lmaoooo SEND THEM AWAY...no hard feelings. They are taking advantage of you.
tell them to leave or they shld start providing such amenities afterall, they re working.
It's not cool at all, without been told they should know they have to take up some bills too
It's not cool at all, without been told they should know they have to take up some bills too
Human beings love to take advantage of things. The earlier you make it clear the better. If after the person stays a month and has never brought anything to d house, you have to then tell d person dat she should start contributing in d house. If she is angry she can leave . If d person has spent more than 3months my dear start sharing all bills with the person including shopping .if the person has spent one year, you both should divide the house rent and pay.
Kick them out. U no b mugu.
Dey must contribute to the upkeep because we All earn salaries
Not theirs?they live with u,make use of those tins,y wouldn't they contribute.My advice is;get another apartment if u can,wen d rent expires,move outta the haus with ur properties and c if they wouldn't take up their responsibility.For d mean time,stop doing the things u do,manage if u have to,make everything about you.Surely,they will come to you.
Em pple,m 22yrs old nd just startd dating dz man. D fin z wen he kissz me tz always irritatng. he jst suck ma lips nd jam his tongue down ma throat. Z dat hw pple kiss? Coz m a V. No insults pls
There mission is to run you down. Period
They should contribute at least for d sake of the comfortability of the person Ur staying with....its rili wrng to parasite on someone. I cud be generous but only when I'm loaded with money...at d slightest hint of depreciation I'l subtly start showing my irritation to that friend...dis issue is worse among uni girls...sme roommates hide their pocket money and live off your food and provisions
Similar case but now used to it.
Face the problems with your friends, don't carry the burden alone.
Those friends of urs r highly unreasonable..for their mind,u be santa-claus abi?...
If they won't contribute then stop feeding them...wen u wana cook,cook jes for urself alone...which kain selfishness be dat?
If they wia jobless,it would ve bin a different case...and I won't be surprised u buy their sanitary pads too..mtcheew!!!
Chinwenmeri.blogspot.com
I had the same issue with a friend of mine before I got married. I told her point blank,its better they move out.
Hell no, pay up or ship out
My dear some friends like feed-off people and it's very bad. The day you talk about it you become a bad person. The best thing is not to let them stay at all.
To me they are just being selfish and I will not mince words wen asking them to leave, like u work and earn money so take care of ur slf
I hv a frd like dat too dat use to stay Wt me!she can eat like idiot still she will not buy yet she works!she can't buy toothpaste,soap to wash her cloth basically nothing!i stopped talking to her and sent her packing cos I was not working and d little thg I hv she finished evrythg not considering if hv eaten or not.Rubbish
it is so not okay
so people like that exist. hmmmm that's being unreasonable ... uv gat every reason to send dem out of ur house.. and next time you want to take In another ..come out clear with him/her...for crying out loud they are working..
To me they are just being selfish and I will not mince words wen asking them to leave, like u work and earn money so take care of ur slf
for me i dont approve friends staying together its better apart to avoid tins like dis.
This is what we called unfriendly friend u better send dam away
chase them out fast. They are parasites
This is the problem with so many Nigerians. Too much awoof and showing sense full our blood. Pls u should let them know your plight if not they should leave. Some people are just parasites. For that 1 that doesn't have a job should stay n be doing the necessary house chores pending when he/she gets a job.
foolishlly wise friends..but befor u admit friends nxt time mak sure u share responsibilities to them...u can even tel dem about ur xperience wit previous frnds.dat wil mak dem sit up
That's rubbish! U can be under my roof wit out contributing 2 the warefare of the house, weda u dey wrk or nt, if u earn salaries u must contribute financialy! If u dnt earn any salary den u must do the cleaning and going 2 market! Is onlky an unreasonable person dat wuld feel comfortable wit laziness and stinginess. Can live wit such kinda pple
let do off them
send her out she is not a good friend.
Since they work it's not fair for them not 2 contribute, that means dey r living off u, that's not nice! (A.F.A)
LOL.....@They know the time for every Tv programme #Bad Market Friends#..... pursue them sharp sharp!!! no time.....
U ask too many questions,Jst leave deir bags outside fr dem to pik it up wen dey get bak,Simple.
That can't work with me. I will tell you to your face to care of those bills that is why we are friends. If the friend isn't working that is a different ball game. I can't keeping a friend working and stay in my house behave in this manner.
Busy Fingers.
Ofcourse it isn't. ..They are called pests
The thing is that most people seem to relax when they see a situation where another person takes care of them. It's very few people that would be willing to contribute. It's okay to tell them to contribute once in a while, when something needs to be done just meet them and tell them about it and collect money from them. Make it clear to them but not rudely that since they are staying that you cannot carry all the load and responsibilities alone. Let them know that they have to try and make things also comfortable for them but let them understand as much as you can that you aren't trying to be insulting to them just because you have a place. Some will understand, some won't but you are only human right? you can only do your best
Askralph
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