Dear LIB readers; how do you handle unreasonable friends?
From a LIB reader...
I have had two friends stay with me on two different occasions and they
stay for months (even though the initial plan is for them to get their
own apartments after two to three months) and I have had to ask them to
leave with reasons why they cannot keep staying with me when I sense
they are not making plans to move out.
Now my issue with these
friends is simple as I currently have another friend going through this…
These friends never contribute to the welfare of the house/living...
They
work and earn salaries like me but they will never buy things as small
as dispenser water when it finishes or even fuel for generator meanwhile
you see, they know the time for every program showing on TV. They
expect me to take care of all the bills while they stay with me and they
spend their money on things that are important to them...
My
question is, do you think it is OK for a friend (the friends that work
or making money NOT the ones who aren't working o or still looking for
job) who is staying at your house to disregard these things and not
contribute because it is not their house?
It is highly unreasonable. I have stayed with such friends and I equally had to ask them to leave. It is an act of selfishness if you ask me. I suggest you you ask them to leave the moment they start exhibiting such character.
Im still a student and in the hostel I'm known for cooking.I love cooking a lot. I would use my provisions to cook,use my money to buy the things needed and would also end up washing the plates. I didn't count it as anything.But something happened one day that got me angry.I got broke and needed money to get something,I asked one of my friends and she couldn't help meanwhile she had money. These were the people I would use my money to cook for while they saved theirs...Lesson learnt!
Wow...I thought ii was the only one. Honestly it can be very annoying. The last time it happened to me I simply stopped cooking and started eating out, then I travel most weekends. she got the message and started looking for her own apartment. Within 3wks I was free. Funny thing is she rather starve than cook a meal for two........People can be mean. So my dear you can deal with it my way or you tell her simple.
lol 9ja things...come here dey follow me yarn dust say u no go pay inside bill...The speed wey i go take change keys ehn! people always try to act broke when they see u have some money! i experienced this shit when i first came to malaysia... mtchewww
It is unfair.Its common sense.They should both contribute to everything, except the house rent.In my opinion, i'll prefer i pay my house rent incase they fuck up,i can easily eject them.
They re not Ur friend, they re unfriendly friend so send them out asap before is too late.i ve one of such friend & i'm still working on that too,#THAT AKWA IBOM BOY #
Han han they shud be able to contribute o Then ur frnds aint responsible missy U nt contributin to the hoise rent, the reasonable thin is to assist My dear sit them down and tell dem, if they dont like it then let them get the fuck out of ur house Or rather when anytin finish no buy am And when they dont get it call their attention to it Those kind frnds na destiny suckers o lol
Gone through a situation like dz b4 until i finally learn to say NO to friends like that cos they will eat your food,drink from you and still gossip you,And when u ask for a space they think you are a bad person.
It is not ok...a sensible person knows what to do. I had a cousin like that, he works and earns money but won't buy even toothpaste or soap. Pathetic lot.
I ave experienced such....d best course of action is to kick them out. Dnt even think twice about it. I call dem leeches. Day suck u dry n get fat yl u slim dwn. Out wif dem o
I personally do not feel it is right, however, these people sometimes do not realise what they are doing,calling their attention to it is a difficult thing, but compared to asking them to leave, it is better to have a word with them, if it continues, then you wont be blamed for your actions.
If they re staying jes for a weekend or for a week, u shudnt expect anythng from them after all what are friends for. Buh whn its beyond dis they shuld have conscience.
Its Very terrible and very wrong.i have had your exact experience and it made me feel stupid,i was buying food,paying bills,etc it can drain you and destroy the friendship cause in your heart you begin to build resentment i advice you address the issue and if they still dont bulge,send them packing.
I think that people who don't use their asses to think are few and far in between. How can you earn a salary, bunk at someone's place and at least not make a budget to contribute to the person who is helping you out?? I would feel really uncomfortable.. If you have anyone staying with you who is doing that now..talk to em,or kick em out..simple...
We are humans, apart from ones parent, it will hard not to feel cheated. The best is to contribute even if very little. Their quota must be felt since they are earners.
It is F◆◆king not ok..sorryfor the choice of words buh am so angry now. Couldn't sleep last night n waking up, try o lighten my mood with d only blog I notice den reading this.. such gurls aren't friends at all. N dey aren't even ashame. Free dem d are not worth ur assistance. Metcheeew
It is F◆◆king not ok..sorryfor the choice of words buh am so angry now. Couldn't sleep last night n waking up, try o lighten my mood with d only blog I notice den reading this.. such gurls aren't friends at all. N dey aren't even ashame. Free dem d are not worth ur assistance. Metcheeew
Tell them to contribute to the payment of the bills. do not assume they should know, thats the mistake people make. i have been in a situation like urs and i told them. however, do not let them contribute to ur house rent. if you do that, its no longer 'my place', its 'our place'. and from time to time, ask them about their plans to move.
No one thinks it's right, even they (your friends) know it's not proper but they do it anyway. Had similar experience back in my school days. Really annoying sh*t I must say.
Please kick them out without looking back. Those are not friends at all. Dont even feelmbad about it. Iinfact pop a champaign when they are gone. In this year, all you need to do isbto learn to say NO to these kinds of people. Goodluck.
Y do I sense dat it's ma sister dat sent dis in...see ehn ma sis doesn't even wanna talk sometimes because she doesn't wanna annoy her friends in her own house o...infact one had a child n ma sis had to provide 4 dem...dey don't contribute to anyfin in d house @all even wen ma sis decided to stop buyin groceries, her friend will only mk food 4 her mouth n her child too...we had to tell ma sis to ask her friend outa her house cos itt was becomin unbearable...even if ma sis talks sometimes d friend will flare up n start sayin shits lik becos she is in ma sister's house!...tnk God dats all story was in sch tho dnt knw wa apened btwn dem n wen I gt bk for christmas brk I didn't see her n ave nt bn seeing her around...she called recently buh ma sis said she was busy n nt around! dis her friend has a car o! Chai ppl r just ungrateful
No! It isn't OK at all. They need to shoulder some responsibilities too. Even if they are not, the should still be able to help out with some stuffs. That's not being nice, that's indulgence on their own part.
Baby girl, I feel for u o! It's time u had a heart to heart with the current friend staying w u. U also need to come to some decisions on ur own, do u want a room mate? Not just lodging pple. If u do then they shld start paying rent and they have to contribute to the upkeep of d house. But u have to be sure the person is someone u can share ur space with permanently and not just for a while. Good luck!
Chase them outta your house. They ain't no friend of yours. You earn salary likewise them. Why spending your on them whilst you've got a family back home to care for. No bro for hustle ooooo. I can't care for another bitch ass that earn what I earn. Had it been d monkey ain't working gen it gonna be appropriate buh this is a different ball game. Wise up and face ur future show d motherfuckers d exit got good
Just get things that will be useful to only them.,frustrate them, do things that they don't like. Continue this with this, with time, if they need something they will get it by themselves. The only problem is if they are sharing your room with u
It is very bad i can't keep such people as friends my advice to you is that you should sit them down and say your mind open up to them if they can't keep up with your conditions let them leave period!
My advise, do not buy or re-fill the water in the dispenser when its empty (keep a pack of bottled water in your room and out of sight too), do not pay subscription to DSTV or GoTV once its elapsed(if you can watch it then you can pay for it), do not even buy the littlelest tissue paper(if you will use it please replace it). If they have any conscience at all they'll come to you and if not.....persevere! They'll soon be out on the other hand; call them and tell them how you feel. I am sure you all spend some good time together cos no one wants to be alone. But after all is said and done, sometimes its best to be alone than be unhappy....chikena!
People who behave like that are stingy and wicked people... why would you live with someone and not wanna support someone you call afrnd that's allowing you stay without pay??? Just let them no the rules and if they dont abide by it, u chase them
Dy r bin so selfish n greedy. i can tolerate dat 4 onli a few months n nafin more dan dat cos an understandn friend knws dat he/she is meant 2 contribute at least a lytle 2 d bills.Sats shudn't b left 4 onli mi
Offering someone your home is saying, you're welcome to stay in my house and use my things. It is YOU allowing that in "good measure", your guests SHOULDN'T be mandated to pay for things.
On the flip side, "good guests" will know there are certain curtsy that they should show. Like, Clean after themselves and support in areas such as household stuff especially if their stay isn't a short one.
the simply answer is, be a good host to good guests. If your guest makes you uncomfortable, they tell them to leave. But remember Karma is real and no one really knows tomorrow!
I used to have the same problem.. till i spoke to my friends about it and they changed. As long as ur friends are working, it is IMPORTANT, for them to contribute. Its unfair on their own part to ignore contributing either money or foodstuffs. Kick dem to the curb if u speak to them and they don't change.. My candid advice. It worked for me.
OF COURSE NOT! you are too nice. You are suppose to look them in the eye and be clear on your expectations from them, and if they don's act responsibly kick them out... well in your own case as a nice woman, ask them politely to leave.
For me I think your friends staying with you should contribute in one way or the other for the upkeep of the house. You can't pay rent and also tolerate their stupidity,else they should follow the exit root.
I have been in this boat and i can tell you confidently dat it was not funny. Ladies we are our own worse enemy. After all the help and support at the end of the day I turned enemy to my friends even dey gossip join am o but as God would have it i heard everything right in time. Right now i can't accept anyone in my house in d name of friend looking for a job or relocating or visiting or whatever. NO is my final answer. I hustle hard for my money so aint gat time for one lazy ass b**** to come waste my food all in d name of helping. #ZERO TOLERANCE FOR FAKE FRIENDS IN 2015.
Very wrong idea if they can not contribute to the welfare of the haus. Come to tink of it how can I hv a friend who earns income or make money and I harbour u only for u nt to do anytin in the haus but only for yourselve haba.............. my friend I show u d door
Hello, first i'll say i have similar arrangements where i stay. If they are your guests for 2 to 3 months till they find their feet, They shouldn't pay any bills, except they volunteer freely. However, when they exceed or extend their visa duration...Its best they pay, but mind you, when they start paying, they are now ??somehow flat mates and you can't really ask them to leave, since they are also splitting your bills with you. All da best Landlord tenant
Your friends are very insensitive people & I see everything wrong with it. Dey are purposely living off u. Every right thinking matured friend wld contribute in any little way dey can even if it's buying salt & toothpaste or d little necessary needs at home.
Dey are simply selfish. Even if such a friend is unable 2get dere house at d time agreed, its also ideal 2 tell u d situation of things & not just act like dey are at home & hv come 2 stay. To answer ur question- NO ITS NOT OK!
Now I understand where u r coming from cos I had such experience and as a matter of fact I ve 2 friends stayin with me nw,one works while mysef and other is searchin for a job but I let everyone. Of them know wat and wat nt to do while in my house.also I think u shud call them to order cos dats nt fair hw can u be futtin their bills wen they receivin salary like u do?u r nt their parents joor my dear if u can't say it in words, act it.if they pretend nt to see den stop making available those necessities in house and see wat happens next,I trust mysef for dis kind matter.
It is not wrong for you to expect friends living with you to contribute something to the upkeep of the house they live in. No matter how small, caring for one person is different from 2. I once lived with friends and I contribute to everything in the house except the rent. Not that they expect me to do it, but it is just courtesy. I buy water, food, petrol, contribute to the bills and everything in between. So if you have friends living with you, even if it is just for a week, it does not stop them buying a loaf of bread or something you can all snack on. It is just showing appreciation and plain simple courtesy.
SOME WOMEN ARE LIKE THAT. I HAVE HAD THEM LIVING WITH ME. THEY CANNOT EVEN PROVIDE CANDLE OR MATCHES IN THE HOUSE. UNTIL ONE DAY MY YOUNGER SISTER TOLD THEM TO LEAVE. PEOPLE CAN NEVER ACCOMMODATE YOU IF ARE IN THEIR SHOES. UNREASONABLE PEOPLE
If they can't contribute to d welfare of d house, pls pursue them outta d house Mtcheeeew I have friends like this n its annoying cus no body is father Christmas. U can talk to them abt it, if no change or they want start acting up ask the out. When u talk to them abt it, they may want to leave willingly. There are only staying cus of the free things. Fish brain girls*annoying* Mtcheeeew
Well, I have seen this kind of happen many times and I also try to watch it in my own life too. Nothing makes it right!!! The fact that you foot the bill of the house rent should make them also contribute to enable harmonious running of the house.
Johnny, u are a learning....ur mother must have baptized you CHARITY, anyways u are a philanthropist, kip d good work...this is how dangote and Jim ovia started, from helping low life friends. This one no be question u dey ask? U be ode, sule abi mukiala... The gods are not to blame! Gab2shoessaysso
They took you for granted.anyway,dats people for you.if you do good to them,they return it wit evil.let them knoe you don't like it and you can't cope wit them anymore.if they can't contribute,they should leave ur house.don't tell them in a harsh way sha
Such friends should be avoided I used to in your shoes but after my rent expired I told my friend in question that I had no money for new rent so I will be moving to our family house by so doing he has to get a place luckly for him he decided to move to his girlfriends place me I eventually moved elsewhere under deguise that am moving that am moving to our family house. So poster no need confronting them when the rent is due tell it to them point blank the way its or use mine as a case study but at the moment try endure.
It is just right that they help out. They are not financially constrained and so should or dare I say must contribute to everything that keeps the house running. I wonder what their conscience does, nothing I imagine
Those are parasites They will so suck u dry The day u dnt pay ur rent n ur landlord sends u packing, u will be shocked at their reaction when its tym to help u Operation push them out
Its not a very good idea to stay with someone & disregard the bills in the house especially wen the person is just a friend & is working cos they won't take such themselves.
Hmmmmn my dear...I have been in this dilemma before infact kind of reverse in the case that I was staying with my friend and she left me to the all the work,buying water fuel,cooking etc..mi could'nt complain cause she was paying the rent. Now I have my place and another friend is staying with me and this one even expects me to prepare the food and serve her. She's not paying no bills,yet she cant even buy water or anything for that matter. She goes out and expects to come back and meet food @ home. Its interesting how all these friends can just take advantage of someone.
My dear, ur frnds are being selfish. Cut them off...they shud go and look 4 their own apartment. Make frnds with benefits and nt d oda way round. Working class frnds shud be able to contribute no mata how small....I hate selfish pple
My dear, please kick those girls out of your house, they are parasites. nobody should use your head and thats the issue with being too nice. look them in the eyes and tell them they cannot be living in your house and not contribute to the upkeep of the house, simple.and these are the kinda babes that would go out and start forming chic.rubbish
that's so unfair of those girls. please if they cant contribute to for the upkeep of the house, please quietly kick their ass out.......................
C gbege oooo,i pray say dem no move oooo,if I shiiira 4 dem 4 2 mins no be dier clear eye dem go take park! Shooooo maka yyyyyy?mnkey de work bamboo de chop,which kin rubbish b dat??when they also earn salries I've stayed with a frnd b4,dem no go wnt mke I go sef,coz na me wey no get house go de buy d main tinz,naim I find my location oooo,so mke it veeeerrrry clear u wnt dier asses out!capeeech!!!
Whenever friends stay with you, tell them you have a policy of charging guests that stay beyond a month. Have this talk with anyone planning to stay for more than two weeks. Get it out of the way early to avoid problems at the one month mark when you ask for their allocation.
My advise, do not buy or re-fill the water in the dispenser when its empty (keep a pack of bottled water in your room and out of sight too), do not pay subscription to DSTV or GoTV once its elapsed(if you can watch it then you can pay for it), do not even buy the littlelest tissue paper(if you will use it please replace it). If they have any conscience at all they'll come to you and if not.....persevere! They'll soon be out on the other hand; call them and tell them how you feel. I am sure you all spend some good time together cos no one wants to be alone. But after all is said and done, sometimes its best to be alone than be unhappy....chikena!
I don't think is OK at all...I live with someone like that .... even though I am not the initial owner of the apartment but he's that same kind that expect the other to do everything for him while he spend his own money on women and stuffs like that. Let them know the situation of things OR find an excuse of your family member coming over in two months or so and be serious about it so they can leave. I like privacy myself and if i decide to help someone .... it's definitely not going to be a stupid one.
I've been in your shoe's before,do the best you can,keep your things in your room,switch your generator on and off when you need it,give the best you can,help from afar and if possible do NO such thing again.Trust me,when they leave,no thank you from them,they talk bad about you and it could cause enmity.Above all,seek God for guidance on whom to help.
I've been in your shoe's before,do the best you can,keep your things in your room,switch your generator on and off when you need it,give the best you can,help from afar and if possible do NO such thing again.Trust me,when they leave,no thank you from them,they talk bad about you and it could cause enmity.Above all,seek God for guidance on whom to help.
No matter your discussion or visible situation on ground,they won't contribute a dime.Trust me,Jesus first,yourself last and others in between -others that don't have,not those who have but extort others.House chores,they will not do.Just stay on your own and do your best.
Gbam. I think at this point dialogue is essential, it's possible that they are ignorant about the necessary things to do or they are just been wicked. Talk to them about it, if they don't change then please kick their asses out of ur house. They work n should hence get der own apartment since all they do is constitute private nuisance in your house please let me go. Friendship ain't by force!
Such people are what I call unreasonable friends with no conscience. (if they are working and earning money) then its normal and human to contribute to the walfare of the house they leave in even if its not theirs, cuz partially i think its theirs. If they don't contribute, how do they expect God to bless them with a place of their own? Selfish people disgust me..
I hate 'friends' that have this mentality, no matter how small even of the only thing you buy is fuel for the generator or matches for the stove; na something. Especially since they are working too.. My advice sit them down and let it out; tell them that it can no longer continue because you are starting to resent their 'friendship'. Then give each an aspect to take care of e.g. Yemisi from now on you will buy all the water. Inform them that they either do this or move out. Another option that you could propose is that they each give you a certain amount monthly for upkeep and you continue to take care of all the details like before. I really think you have to address this lest the resentment continue to build and build till it gets to the point where you're not even friends again sef...
100 likes! This has happened to me countless times. Unfortunately am a slow learner when it comes to friends but trust me I have learnt. Went broke and they blamed it on my extravagant lifestyle which I spent on them o! May God forbid and rebuke such friend from my life!
it is simple ooo, U PAY , U STAY .... U NO PAY, U NO STAY!!! oh u will so hit the streets HARD . at least i would have helped u save some money to be able to get a place of your own.
Lmaoo out. Asin eh that one hard becus ur husband family will want you to understand that they are brothers, And he is not going anywhere until he decide to leave and it's even worse when he doesn't assist in the house.
From your write up. You sound like a push over. Well they agreed for two or three months. you need to start from there. So their time to leave has come to an end.
Well if you are one of those house owners who tell the world a pity party story to gain sympathy sorry for you. Repent and be accountable.
Unfortunately I have come across homeowners who are mean to other human beings who live with them. Especially Africans. God is watching.
Homeowners please pray before you accommodate people.
hmmm....pls dont waste time ,just tell them to go.....i hv experienced such and is painful to habor someone who is wkn but cnt contribute. To me is bn wicked n dont deserve to keep such friend simple.
It takes grace to handle with such people. For this category(working class), it takes just common sense to know that certain things must not wait for the renter(no mind my oyibo) of the house to get done. I had friends stay with me at different times but there were reasonable people and were never missing in action on basic things. But! i warned that anything pertaining bills (PHCN, Gen gone bad, Refuse bills, security etc) please dont pay. i shall pay. You buy water, oranges, cook(once in a while) we go chop or drink am together. Having someone else around is usually not very easy but with patience and wisdom, u actually get to enjoy having dem around you. The rule is; do not expect too much. Except you are not friends, you can always talk to him/her. For years i had someone who earned more than i did and i didn't let pay bills.
I did once had dis prob,when i complained 2 a frnd she said as far u were confortable 2 host dem bfr den u shld nt complain of such tins,dey r Ur guest jst du its fr a while when u feel u reali tired u tell dem in a polite way 2 go,so dat it dnt cause prob fr u gals.
Contribute or they leave the house cos to me such friends are just being wicked,they would definitely spend more if they stayed on their own so y would they want to be a burden to someone else if it's not just wickedness on their part
Let them go asap...they are not worthy to be called friends. I'm sure they eat from your pot too. Chaseeee them outtt. Very annoying sef after reading the whole write up
Hmmm just very few de borrow brain..If not dat a friend called me 1 day n was like "sisi oooh u b fool?as a single mum wit bukata y foot all d bills wen dis chic u de squat even without a job she de do runs plus bfs, de change clothes, nails n hair weekly basis suppose de drop n d to think d 2 months she ask Don de turn 6months..ur own na dispenser water 400 against tissue 50 she couldn't buy. Upon i even help am get job of bout 50k..Abeg if we begin rojor d matter I fit vex stone person my fone..If not dat I asked her to start contributing by fire by thunder she no for realise say she had actually overstayed her welcome. Do d needful sharperly.
350 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 350 of 350They should use their minds and contribute to the smooth running of the house. You've done a lot by keeping them in your home.
It is highly unreasonable. I have stayed with such friends and I equally had to ask them to leave. It is an act of selfishness if you ask me. I suggest you you ask them to leave the moment they start exhibiting such character.
KICK THEIR UNGREATFULL ASS OUTA YOUR HOUSE..FRIEND NO BE BY FORCE
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DON RICHIE SAID SO VIA TECNO
It's ABSOLUTELY NOT okay. please tuff them out...bunch of leeches...SMH!!!
It's not okay at all, send them out.
They should contribute because they are also working...
Dats bad. If they re not ready to contribute den let dem leave. Its uncalled for abeg. After all dey re working.
Dats bad. If they re not ready to contribute den let dem leave. Its uncalled for abeg. After all dey re working.
Im still a student and in the hostel I'm known for cooking.I love cooking a lot.
I would use my provisions to cook,use my money to buy the things needed and would also end up washing the plates.
I didn't count it as anything.But something happened one day that got me angry.I got broke and needed money to get something,I asked one of my friends and she couldn't help meanwhile she had money.
These were the people I would use my money to cook for while they saved theirs...Lesson learnt!
They are wicked plz throw them out of ur house ASAP, I can't deal abeg.
Wow...I thought ii was the only one. Honestly it can be very annoying. The last time it happened to me I simply stopped cooking and started eating out, then I travel most weekends. she got the message and started looking for her own apartment. Within 3wks I was free. Funny thing is she rather starve than cook a meal for two........People can be mean. So my dear you can deal with it my way or you tell her simple.
I think the so called friends are insensitive. And you shouldnt tolerate such.
lol 9ja things...come here dey follow me yarn dust say u no go pay inside bill...The speed wey i go take change keys ehn! people always try to act broke when they see u have some money! i experienced this shit when i first came to malaysia... mtchewww
It is unfair.Its common sense.They should both contribute to everything, except the house rent.In my opinion, i'll prefer i pay my house rent incase they fuck up,i can easily eject them.
I think it is very inappropriate. For me, discharging you from my house will be your case. Simple.
They re not Ur friend, they re unfriendly friend so send them out asap before is too late.i ve one of such friend & i'm still working on that too,#THAT AKWA IBOM BOY #
Nooo...its not nice at all. Discharge them asap pls
Ooh yes they shud contribute
Han han they shud be able to contribute o
Then ur frnds aint responsible missy
U nt contributin to the hoise rent, the reasonable thin is to assist
My dear sit them down and tell dem, if they dont like it then let them get the fuck out of ur house
Or rather when anytin finish no buy am
And when they dont get it call their attention to it
Those kind frnds na destiny suckers o lol
Chase that inconsiderate friend away Asap....... person no dey use shame chop witch o
Gone through a situation like dz b4 until i finally learn to say NO to friends like that cos they will eat your food,drink from you and still gossip you,And when u ask for a space they think you are a bad person.
It is not ok...a sensible person knows what to do. I had a cousin like that, he works and earns money but won't buy even toothpaste or soap. Pathetic lot.
Na God go purnish that person,u wudnt even stay up to 1month.
Ur still asking, if no get sense to help in d hse better chase cus u no be mumu
I ave experienced such....d best course of action is to kick them out. Dnt even think twice about it. I call dem leeches. Day suck u dry n get fat yl u slim dwn. Out wif dem o
No no no...that's a case of monkey dey work barboon they chop let them leave and get a life.
Linda post my comment biko
Nope not at all, I have stayed with a friend before and always made contributions from paying bills to buying food.
I personally do not feel it is right, however, these people sometimes do not realise what they are doing,calling their attention to it is a difficult thing, but compared to asking them to leave, it is better to have a word with them, if it continues, then you wont be blamed for your actions.
If they re staying jes for a weekend or for a week, u shudnt expect anythng from them after all what are friends for. Buh whn its beyond dis they shuld have conscience.
Nne give d person ben-johnson
Its Very terrible and very wrong.i have had your exact experience and it made me feel stupid,i was buying food,paying bills,etc it can drain you and destroy the friendship cause in your heart you begin to build resentment i advice you address the issue and if they still dont bulge,send them packing.
I think that people who don't use their asses to think are few and far in between. How can you earn a salary, bunk at someone's place and at least not make a budget to contribute to the person who is helping you out??
I would feel really uncomfortable..
If you have anyone staying with you who is doing that now..talk to em,or kick em out..simple...
We are humans, apart from ones parent, it will hard not to feel cheated. The best is to contribute even if very little. Their quota must be felt since they are earners.
Mbanu! Ibia lagosu Igu bridge. Asi na Ewu nwuru n'oba ji abughi agu gburu ya. oyigi malu no ge bi nulo gi yamata kwa no ogana weputa kwa ego.
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Its unfair.They should all contribute
Very unfair. Politely ask them to leave. It's the height of insensitivity and stupidity (provided they're working)
It is F◆◆king not ok..sorryfor the choice of words buh am so angry now. Couldn't sleep last night n waking up, try o lighten my mood with d only blog I notice den reading this.. such gurls aren't friends at all. N dey aren't even ashame. Free dem d are not worth ur assistance. Metcheeew
It is F◆◆king not ok..sorryfor the choice of words buh am so angry now. Couldn't sleep last night n waking up, try o lighten my mood with d only blog I notice den reading this.. such gurls aren't friends at all. N dey aren't even ashame. Free dem d are not worth ur assistance. Metcheeew
Not ryt @all, tell dem wat u want dem to do. @chidinma
Tell them to contribute to the
payment of the bills. do not assume they should know, thats the mistake people make. i have been in a situation like urs and i told them. however, do not let them contribute to ur house rent. if you do that, its no longer 'my place', its 'our place'. and from time to time, ask them about their plans to move.
Na to troway dier luggages outsyd my hauz sure pass ooooo
thats so not right.this is going on because you havent complained about it.sit them down and talk to them.if you cant,pls sms them.all the best.
No one thinks it's right, even they (your friends) know it's not proper but they do it anyway. Had similar experience back in my school days. Really annoying sh*t I must say.
Please kick them out without looking back. Those are not friends at all. Dont even feelmbad about it. Iinfact pop a champaign when they are gone.
In this year, all you need to do isbto learn to say NO to these kinds of people. Goodluck.
Y do I sense dat it's ma sister dat sent dis in...see ehn ma sis doesn't even wanna talk sometimes because she doesn't wanna annoy her friends in her own house o...infact one had a child n ma sis had to provide 4 dem...dey don't contribute to anyfin in d house @all even wen ma sis decided to stop buyin groceries, her friend will only mk food 4 her mouth n her child too...we had to tell ma sis to ask her friend outa her house cos itt was becomin unbearable...even if ma sis talks sometimes d friend will flare up n start sayin shits lik becos she is in ma sister's house!...tnk God dats all story was in sch tho dnt knw wa apened btwn dem n wen I gt bk for christmas brk I didn't see her n ave nt bn seeing her around...she called recently buh ma sis said she was busy n nt around! dis her friend has a car o! Chai ppl r just ungrateful
these people are loafers!they will just continue to eat you dry, better get them out of your house as soon as possible. Cant stand people like that!
Simple... It's not okay
No! It isn't OK at all. They need to shoulder some responsibilities too. Even if they are not, the should still be able to help out with some stuffs. That's not being nice, that's indulgence on their own part.
Not good at all. They are suppose to at least help their friend contribute to the. Up-keep of the house.
Baby girl, I feel for u o! It's time u had a heart to heart with the current friend staying w u. U also need to come to some decisions on ur own, do u want a room mate? Not just lodging pple. If u do then they shld start paying rent and they have to contribute to the upkeep of d house. But u have to be sure the person is someone u can share ur space with permanently and not just for a while. Good luck!
Chase them outta your house. They ain't no friend of yours. You earn salary likewise them. Why spending your on them whilst you've got a family back home to care for. No bro for hustle ooooo. I can't care for another bitch ass that earn what I earn. Had it been d monkey ain't working gen it gonna be appropriate buh this is a different ball game. Wise up and face ur future show d motherfuckers d exit got good
Just get things that will be useful to only them.,frustrate them, do things that they don't like. Continue this with this, with time, if they need something they will get it by themselves. The only problem is if they are sharing your room with u
Plzzzzzz they must contribute cos they are working.haba!
They must contribute o, provided dt de work. Any reasonable person should do dt without even being told. But some ppl re just daft.
You sound like a non-confrontational person. #question4libers
U. Just discard them like a waste..
It is very bad i can't keep such people as friends my advice to you is that you should sit them down and say your mind open up to them if they can't keep up with your conditions let them leave period!
My advise, do not buy or re-fill the water in the dispenser when its empty (keep a pack of bottled water in your room and out of sight too), do not pay subscription to DSTV or GoTV once its elapsed(if you can watch it then you can pay for it), do not even buy the littlelest tissue paper(if you will use it please replace it). If they have any conscience at all they'll come to you and if not.....persevere! They'll soon be out on the other hand; call them and tell them how you feel. I am sure you all spend some good time together cos no one wants to be alone. But after all is said and done, sometimes its best to be alone than be unhappy....chikena!
Mmam u av asked dem 2leave so wots d point in d question?
People who behave like that are stingy and wicked people... why would you live with someone and not wanna support someone you call afrnd that's allowing you stay without pay??? Just let them no the rules and if they dont abide by it, u chase them
Dy r bin so selfish n greedy. i can tolerate dat 4 onli a few months n nafin more dan dat cos an understandn friend knws dat he/she is meant 2 contribute at least a lytle 2 d bills.Sats shudn't b left 4 onli mi
Offering someone your home is saying, you're welcome to stay in my house and use my things. It is YOU allowing that in "good measure", your guests SHOULDN'T be mandated to pay for things.
On the flip side, "good guests" will know there are certain curtsy that they should show. Like, Clean after themselves and support in areas such as household stuff especially if their stay isn't a short one.
the simply answer is, be a good host to good guests. If your guest makes you uncomfortable, they tell them to leave. But remember Karma is real and no one really knows tomorrow!
Kick em out 4 being so unreasonable.
I used to have the same problem.. till i spoke to my friends about it and they changed. As long as ur friends are working, it is IMPORTANT, for them to contribute. Its unfair on their own part to ignore contributing either money or foodstuffs. Kick dem to the curb if u speak to them and they don't change.. My candid advice. It worked for me.
OF COURSE NOT! you are too nice. You are suppose to look them in the eye and be clear on your expectations from them, and if they don's act responsibly kick them out... well in your own case as a nice woman, ask them politely to leave.
For me I think your friends staying with you should contribute in one way or the other for the upkeep of the house. You can't pay rent and also tolerate their stupidity,else they should follow the exit root.
Jonrisa...
Be blunt to them..this ain't right
Dude u already know the answer to ur question so what else do u wanna hear??
I have been in this boat and i can tell you confidently dat it was not funny. Ladies we are our own worse enemy. After all the help and support at the end of the day I turned enemy to my friends even dey gossip join am o but as God would have it i heard everything right in time. Right now i can't accept anyone in my house in d name of friend looking for a job or relocating or visiting or whatever. NO is my final answer. I hustle hard for my money so aint gat time for one lazy ass b**** to come waste my food all in d name of helping. #ZERO TOLERANCE FOR FAKE FRIENDS IN 2015.
Wrong thinking and should be kicked out
You complain bcos you ve developed hatred fr them. It's better u ask them to leave than keep them and harbour resentment
Very wrong idea if they can not contribute to the welfare of the haus. Come to tink of it how can I hv a friend who earns income or make money and I harbour u only for u nt to do anytin in the haus but only for yourselve haba.............. my friend I show u d door
Hello, first i'll say i have similar arrangements where i stay. If they are your guests for 2 to 3 months till they find their feet, They shouldn't pay any bills, except they volunteer freely. However, when they exceed or extend their visa duration...Its best they pay, but mind you, when they start paying, they are now ??somehow flat mates and you can't really ask them to leave, since they are also splitting your bills with you. All da best Landlord tenant
Mscheeeeew
Your friends are very insensitive people & I see everything wrong with it. Dey are purposely living off u.
Every right thinking matured friend wld contribute in any little way dey can even if it's buying salt & toothpaste or d little necessary needs at home.
Dey are simply selfish. Even if such a friend is unable 2get dere house at d time agreed, its also ideal 2 tell u d situation of things & not just act like dey are at home & hv come 2 stay.
To answer ur question- NO ITS NOT OK!
So dem dey do dis nonsense 4 9ja too? I think it's just 9ja foolish smart ways.
I will say u call dem to order ni. As dere church mind no go dere.
Now I understand where u r coming from cos I had such experience and as a matter of fact I ve 2 friends stayin with me nw,one works while mysef and other is searchin for a job but I let everyone. Of them know wat and wat nt to do while in my house.also I think u shud call them to order cos dats nt fair hw can u be futtin their bills wen they receivin salary like u do?u r nt their parents joor my dear if u can't say it in words, act it.if they pretend nt to see den stop making available those necessities in house and see wat happens next,I trust mysef for dis kind matter.
It is not wrong for you to expect friends living with you to contribute something to the upkeep of the house they live in. No matter how small, caring for one person is different from 2. I once lived with friends and I contribute to everything in the house except the rent. Not that they expect me to do it, but it is just courtesy. I buy water, food, petrol, contribute to the bills and everything in between. So if you have friends living with you, even if it is just for a week, it does not stop them buying a loaf of bread or something you can all snack on. It is just showing appreciation and plain simple courtesy.
THEY CALL IT MONKEY DEY WORK BABOON DEY CHOP.
SOME WOMEN ARE LIKE THAT. I HAVE HAD THEM LIVING WITH ME. THEY CANNOT EVEN PROVIDE CANDLE OR MATCHES IN THE HOUSE. UNTIL ONE DAY MY YOUNGER SISTER TOLD THEM TO LEAVE. PEOPLE CAN NEVER ACCOMMODATE YOU IF ARE IN THEIR SHOES.
UNREASONABLE PEOPLE
If they can't contribute to d welfare of d house, pls pursue them outta d house Mtcheeeew I have friends like this n its annoying cus no body is father Christmas. U can talk to them abt it, if no change or they want start acting up ask the out. When u talk to them abt it, they may want to leave willingly. There are only staying cus of the free things. Fish brain girls*annoying* Mtcheeeew
Well, I have seen this kind of happen many times and I also try to watch it in my own life too. Nothing makes it right!!!
The fact that you foot the bill of the house rent should make them also contribute to enable harmonious running of the house.
IT IS VERY BAD MY DEAR. BUT THEY ARE NOT HELPING THEMSELVES COS THE MORE YOU SPEND AND GET RICHER THE MORE THEY BECOME POORER. PROVERB 11vs24.
Johnny, u are a learning....ur mother must have baptized you CHARITY, anyways u are a philanthropist, kip d good work...this is how dangote and Jim ovia started, from helping low life friends. This one no be question u dey ask? U be ode, sule abi mukiala...
The gods are not to blame!
Gab2shoessaysso
You be mumu. Tell them to move out ASAP!
dis kind of frnds are called enemy of progress. if dey ar not ready to pack out stop doing all the things u mention dey dnt do.simple
They took you for granted.anyway,dats people for you.if you do good to them,they return it wit evil.let them knoe you don't like it and you can't cope wit them anymore.if they can't contribute,they should leave ur house.don't tell them in a harsh way sha
Such friends should be avoided I used to in your shoes but after my rent expired I told my friend in question that I had no money for new rent so I will be moving to our family house by so doing he has to get a place luckly for him he decided to move to his girlfriends place me I eventually moved elsewhere under deguise that am moving that am moving to our family house. So poster no need confronting them when the rent is due tell it to them point blank the way its or use mine as a case study but at the moment try endure.
It is just right that they help out. They are not financially constrained and so should or dare I say must contribute to everything that keeps the house running.
I wonder what their conscience does, nothing I imagine
If the person doesn't contribute....tell make he stay on e own....
I never let anyone come and stay in NY house cos they wouldn't do wat it takes to be me
Those are parasites
They will so suck u dry
The day u dnt pay ur rent n ur landlord sends u packing, u will be shocked at their reaction when its tym to help u
Operation push them out
Such rubbish don't happen abroad.
Its not a very good idea to stay with someone & disregard the bills in the house especially wen the person is just a friend & is working cos they won't take such themselves.
tosindaramoye@yahoo.com
Hmmmmn my dear...I have been in this dilemma before infact kind of reverse in the case that I was staying with my friend and she left me to the all the work,buying water fuel,cooking etc..mi could'nt complain cause she was paying the rent. Now I have my place and another friend is staying with me and this one even expects me to prepare the food and serve her. She's not paying no bills,yet she cant even buy water or anything for that matter. She goes out and expects to come back and meet food @ home. Its interesting how all these friends can just take advantage of someone.
My dear, ur frnds are being selfish. Cut them off...they shud go and look 4 their own apartment. Make frnds with benefits and nt d oda way round. Working class frnds shud be able to contribute no mata how small....I hate selfish pple
No! I don't think so
Capital NO!, I hate it when pple claim second hand wiseness. Chase the lass out pls.
Use broom sweep them out . Fast fast . Free loaders.
I'm having same problem too.
I'm having the same problem.
My dear, please kick those girls out of your house, they are parasites. nobody should use your head and thats the issue with being too nice. look them in the eyes and tell them they cannot be living in your house and not contribute to the upkeep of the house, simple.and these are the kinda babes that would go out and start forming chic.rubbish
that's so unfair of those girls. please if they cant contribute to for the upkeep of the house, please quietly kick their ass out.......................
Pls send d retard packing... There are so many of them.. Fucking delete them from your life cos they wont even help u when u down.
Kick their broke ass to d curb abeg
It is never okay. They are being selfish n wicked. These are the type that can kill and will never help you when you ever go broke.
Tell them dat landlord don't need more dan 2 people, biko chupu dem ooo
i call such frnds leech dey prefer using dia money 4 oda tinz dan 2 help d person accomodating n feeling dem? ungrateful beings.
U better tell em ur mind b4 ur silence kill u dearie!
C gbege oooo,i pray say dem no move oooo,if I shiiira 4 dem 4 2 mins no be dier clear eye dem go take park! Shooooo maka yyyyyy?mnkey de work bamboo de chop,which kin rubbish b dat??when they also earn salries I've stayed with a frnd b4,dem no go wnt mke I go sef,coz na me wey no get house go de buy d main tinz,naim I find my location oooo,so mke it veeeerrrry clear u wnt dier asses out!capeeech!!!
Ahhhhhhh!!!!!! They have to contribute oooo coz its not fair on you nah
Whenever friends stay with you, tell them you have a policy of charging guests that stay beyond a month. Have this talk with anyone planning to stay for more than two weeks. Get it out of the way early to avoid problems at the one month mark when you ask for their allocation.
My advise, do not buy or re-fill the water in the dispenser when its empty (keep a pack of bottled water in your room and out of sight too), do not pay subscription to DSTV or GoTV once its elapsed(if you can watch it then you can pay for it), do not even buy the littlelest tissue paper(if you will use it please replace it). If they have any conscience at all they'll come to you and if not.....persevere! They'll soon be out on the other hand; call them and tell them how you feel. I am sure you all spend some good time together cos no one wants to be alone. But after all is said and done, sometimes its best to be alone than be unhappy....chikena!
I don't think is OK at all...I live with someone like that .... even though I am not the initial owner of the apartment but he's that same kind that expect the other to do everything for him while he spend his own money on women and stuffs like that. Let them know the situation of things OR find an excuse of your family member coming over in two months or so and be serious about it so they can leave. I like privacy myself and if i decide to help someone .... it's definitely not going to be a stupid one.
Cut them off and stay away frm them.
In life they must b beneficial r/ship dat benefits both sides if not it should b kicked out.
Without been told, they should know they have to contribute
You can allow it for humanity sake. God will surely reward you.
I've been in your shoe's before,do the best you can,keep your things in your room,switch your generator on and off when you need it,give the best you can,help from afar and if possible do NO such thing again.Trust me,when they leave,no thank you from them,they talk bad about you and it could cause enmity.Above all,seek God for guidance on whom to help.
I've been in your shoe's before,do the best you can,keep your things in your room,switch your generator on and off when you need it,give the best you can,help from afar and if possible do NO such thing again.Trust me,when they leave,no thank you from them,they talk bad about you and it could cause enmity.Above all,seek God for guidance on whom to help.
No matter your discussion or visible situation on ground,they won't contribute a dime.Trust me,Jesus first,yourself last and others in between -others that don't have,not those who have but extort others.House chores,they will not do.Just stay on your own and do your best.
Gbam. I think at this point dialogue is essential, it's possible that they are ignorant about the necessary things to do or they are just been wicked. Talk to them about it, if they don't change then please kick their asses out of ur house. They work n should hence get der own apartment since all they do is constitute private nuisance in your house please let me go. Friendship ain't by force!
Gbam... Contribute or Fuck out
Such people are what I call unreasonable friends with no conscience. (if they are working and earning money) then its normal and human to contribute to the walfare of the house they leave in even if its not theirs, cuz partially i think its theirs. If they don't contribute, how do they expect God to bless them with a place of their own? Selfish people disgust me..
Hmmmm
I hate 'friends' that have this mentality, no matter how small even of the only thing you buy is fuel for the generator or matches for the stove; na something. Especially since they are working too.. My advice sit them down and let it out; tell them that it can no longer continue because you are starting to resent their 'friendship'. Then give each an aspect to take care of e.g. Yemisi from now on you will buy all the water. Inform them that they either do this or move out. Another option that you could propose is that they each give you a certain amount monthly for upkeep and you continue to take care of all the details like before. I really think you have to address this lest the resentment continue to build and build till it gets to the point where you're not even friends again sef...
Send their sorry arses out
100 likes! This has happened to me countless times. Unfortunately am a slow learner when it comes to friends but trust me I have learnt. Went broke and they blamed it on my extravagant lifestyle which I spent on them o! May God forbid and rebuke such friend from my life!
Lupita and Oyelowo on to something
You don't have respect for your elders? Yes I know u are a baby. Bcus u hide under anonymous to insult Linda. Idiot!
it is simple ooo, U PAY , U STAY .... U NO PAY, U NO STAY!!! oh u will so hit the streets HARD . at least i would have helped u save some money to be able to get a place of your own.
Its a must for them to contribute if not let them leave as soon as possible.
Lmaoo out. Asin eh that one hard becus ur husband family will want you to understand that they are brothers, And he is not going anywhere until he decide to leave and it's even worse when he doesn't assist in the house.
So u comment on dis blog too..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FCT babe...
you call such friend to order.some friends could have nonchalant attitude.
From your write up. You sound like a push over. Well they agreed for two or three months. you need to start from there. So their time to leave has come to an end.
Well if you are one of those house owners who tell the world a pity party story to gain sympathy sorry for you. Repent and be accountable.
Unfortunately I have come across homeowners who are mean to other human beings who live with them. Especially Africans. God is watching.
Homeowners please pray before you accommodate people.
everybody needs to pitch in. some people are parasites not friends.
If you like great stories, check this blog out.
opustjkwrites
hmmm....pls dont waste time ,just tell them to go.....i hv experienced such and is painful to habor someone who is wkn but cnt contribute. To me is bn wicked n dont deserve to keep such friend simple.
Diva chilee
It takes grace to handle with such people. For this category(working class), it takes just common sense to know that certain things must not wait for the renter(no mind my oyibo) of the house to get done. I had friends stay with me at different times but there were reasonable people and were never missing in action on basic things. But! i warned that anything pertaining bills (PHCN, Gen gone bad, Refuse bills, security etc) please dont pay. i shall pay. You buy water, oranges, cook(once in a while) we go chop or drink am together. Having someone else around is usually not very easy but with patience and wisdom, u actually get to enjoy having dem around you. The rule is; do not expect too much. Except you are not friends, you can always talk to him/her. For years i had someone who earned more than i did and i didn't let pay bills.
Pls kick them out like yesterday!
I did once had dis prob,when i complained 2 a frnd she said as far u were confortable 2 host dem bfr den u shld nt complain of such tins,dey r Ur guest jst du its fr a while when u feel u reali tired u tell dem in a polite way 2 go,so dat it dnt cause prob fr u gals.
God bless you for this reply
B ikemson can you say that again? Thank you. I was like this world we live in some people over ride their consciences to make up their own rules.
Be a good host to a good guest.
Some host just take their poverty mindset to maltreat good guests and tell the whole world a different story.
Plz cut dem off,dey are wicked and dnt deserve help from u
Contribute or they leave the house cos to me such friends are just being wicked,they would definitely spend more if they stayed on their own so y would they want to be a burden to someone else if it's not just wickedness on their part
Some pple are like dat,i suggest u tell dem ur mind,give dem an option,either they share in d responsibilities in d house or take a walk.
Dey must contribute o
Let them go asap...they are not worthy to be called friends. I'm sure they eat from your pot too. Chaseeee them outtt. Very annoying sef after reading the whole write up
The jobless ones should atleast contribute in chores around the house. Nobody is useless.
Hmmm just very few de borrow brain..If not dat a friend called me 1 day n was like "sisi oooh u b fool?as a single mum wit bukata y foot all d bills wen dis chic u de squat even without a job she de do runs plus bfs, de change clothes, nails n hair weekly basis suppose de drop n d to think d 2 months she ask Don de turn 6months..ur own na dispenser water 400 against tissue 50 she couldn't buy. Upon i even help am get job of bout 50k..Abeg if we begin rojor d matter I fit vex stone person my fone..If not dat I asked her to start contributing by fire by thunder she no for realise say she had actually overstayed her welcome. Do d needful sharperly.
They just have to contribute.
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