Leadership speaker and Senior Pastor of Daystar Christian
Centre, Pastor Sam Adeyemi, while preaching on "Prepaper for the
wedding", on Sunday March 16th, shared his opinion about
women proposing to the man and also gave insight on how they can go
about it. Below is what he said
"Some people may ask, Pastor is it okay for it to be the lady that will tell the guy about marriage? Well, is there anywhere in the bible that says a lady can't tell a man? The thing though is, a lot of time, it's better for the guy to pop the question because men become suspicious a lot of time when they are being chased. They like to eat meat that they chased in the bush. They don't like the one that falls on their lap dead. However., sometimes, all the signs are there that she is the one but he is not just speaking. Its also not healthy for the lady emotionally for the man to be so close to her and yet not say anything. So in such a case, a lady needs to prod him.
So how can a lady go about it? Ask him where are we going? I sense this is where the relationship is going, what do you think? Its either a yes or a no, but with that, you know where you are going instead of being on an emotional roller coaster and your heart is smashed into pieces at the end of the day".Pastor Sam supported his position with the story of Ruth in the Bible who was taught to propose to Boaz whom she eventually married according to Ruth Chapter 3 in the Bible. He however emphasized the need for women to apply uttermost wisdom when proposing to a man.
123 comments:
nyc one there! Agreed.
It is allowed in Islam as well. However,it is for material gains nowadays!
-Yemoh.
Oh Yes I Second That!! Its Possible...
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¤GROWN MAN IN A YOUNG BODY¤
Abeg, it's a man's world, when you propose to a Nigerian man he will use you and play ball, so respect your self well.this is just my 2 kobo allow him to be the man in the relationship period.
Sandy berry
Oh Yes I Second That!! Its Possible... Still Waiting For You Linda To Propose To Me...
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¤GROWN MAN IN A YOUNG BODY¤
can happen in other nation but not in Naija.
Its not a bad idea though.
"Uttermost wisdom" indeed. As a married woman, it is undeniable that the thrill is in the chase. Sometimes though, the "predator" forgets to swoop in for the kill or gets too comfortable with the chase and assumes the sprint is a marathon. Women, be wise!
Really? So what?
I hear ya.
U may be rite sir, but it is difficult nd NOT advisable for A̶̲̅ lady to propose to A̶̲̅ man. Cos †ђξ man will use it against dat lady A̶̲̥̅ll †ђξ days ☀f her life.
YES NAU, I DON'T SEE ANYTHING BAD ABOUT IT, ITS JST OUR MENTALITY THAT MAKES US THINK ITS WRONG FOR A WOMAN TO PROPOSE. I GO WITH THE PASTOR JOOR. I KNOW LADIES WILL STRONGLY ARGUE ABOUT THIS
Toh! The number of marriage proposal refusals go increase be that.
There is no crime in doing this.Just apply wisdom n mak sure u a led by d Spirit
Linda that's your green light.
oh pls pastor, use a different word but not proposal. that obviously isnt a proposal but rather a woman checking where she stands in a relationship. pls dont annoy me. why do we always want to change things, some things are not meant to be understood but rather accepted ie. love.
pls stop. when you are talking about her proposing so what will it turn out to be in the marriage. same way a woman can say yes under pressure so does a man. pls do take a different approach!!! men can be arrogant and miserable when they realise that they are not where they want to be, the man that says yes will make a woman's life utterly miserable in the marriage, he would also torment her with the fact that she proposed. no woman wants to go through that.
no thank you! do keep your opinion to yourself.
thank you.
God bless your church and you.
God knws that if a woma propose to me, na yu go marry urself bcos to me that proposal is a plan for yu to destroy my career.....
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***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***
NOTED! NEXT
Thats so wrong for a woman to propose
hmm okay oo
I totally agree with pastor SAM, a lot of times the women just go on for years without knowing where the R/ship is headed and so in the instant its wise to ask and know on time before its too late, cos the men will always claim they never proposed to the ladies thereby justifying their wedding another lady.Ladies always seek God's face and don't go sampling men just cos u are desperate to be married
tank u pastor. So i can now tell Ebuka dat i lov him and i wnt to marry him hmmmmmmmmmmm
So Linda what are you waiting for?
Man should be the one doing the proposal abeg and not the other way round, may be in 3000yrs when person don almost leave this world that one go dey happen.......
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***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***
Yes pastor!!! Halleluyah. Anty Ann .
Yea,no big deal about that infact it happening
Preach! Preach!!! Preach!!!!!!!
makes a lotta sense i must say.
Well, Nigerian men do not see it this way!
I he has a point.....
He didnt say they can propose now - He said they should take style to ask where this relationship is going ? that is not the same as Linda kneeling down on one knee with ring and saying Niyi, will you marry me?
He is not suggesting that you ask directly but that the lady should prod or push the man in the right direction.It's not cool for a woman to ask, if she has to ask, it's likely she is not the one the guy wants to be with.
Dear linlin, bikonu, goan propose to ya man tym don go. If I hear say u chop my comment?
I think he has a point....but like he said, apply wisdom
yea! love this. but our mentality have not gotten to that extent. that's why most of our women remain single waiting for men to do the talking whereas, they can do otherwise
Gbam! Wisdom is the principal thing though.
Linda am I perfect example,I dated my hubby for 2yrs then I bought a ring n proposed to him,my mind was made up for d worst buh I didn't want to waste my time,buh its was cool cos we re married wit a son n very happy
linda are you sleeping ni? abeg correct all this bad grammar inside the spish, no be so our pastor talk am, abi whush one is "preparer for the marriage"- sho ara e o omo ibo!
But it's d truth. U need to know what u doing with ur life when u're with someone for 5years n itz so obvious u guys love each other n hez not saying anything about settling down. Babe ask him d question or else another girl go ask am for u. Make u siddon dey form porshe like linda wey no wan ask
Propose fire
O yea,...women should propose joor
I support 100% and I'm a woman. If you want something, go and get it and leave tradition alone o. You know why most girls are single?, because they are busy waiting for the guy to be the traditional guy, but if the guy is too shy or unsure, you have to take the bull by the horn and go get what you want or else another smart brave girl will come and do what you should have done. Be a go-getter about what you want in life, be it money, job, boyfriend or husband. Use discernment, dot your I's and cross your t's before taking the leap. And if the guy says NO, which can happen, please ladies, biko, move on. There are plenty fishes in the sea, please cast your fishing hook and go fishing again. Don't take it too personal, dust yourself off and try again. At least if you dont find a guy, it won't be for a lack of not trying, but make effort. Dont let these guys use you chop chin chin, now that these guys know their semen is in biological study for skin care, they will start charging for every drop. So, please, dont let them play skelewu on your emotions, biko go fishing, if he acts up, throw him back in the ocean and go find another one until Mr. Perfect comes along.
Na woman wey no get self dignity go propose 2 man
Tact is all that is needed.
Prodding him? or actually proposing?
they are two different things ooo...
i sha know i can never propse to any man....NEVER.
Whoso findeth a wife....i still stick to ma Bible, not a man.....
and i did not see Ruth proposing anywhere...had to read ma Bible again to be doubly sure....hmmm...Ruth was sent by her mother-in-law, to seek favour, not to propose ni.
Abi Lindi, u wan propose to 'one' man?
Shalom!!!
Wow! Dis is great... I go wit dis man. A lady shuld b able to mak her tots towards a man known, but wit wisdom tho... And Linda, wat he said dint realy mean proposal o, dat ur heading na wah o
I don't agree with him.
Man is also willing to submit , but needs a request from wonderfully higher head request .Ladies are also entitle to their heart desires.Yk
Hell no!!!
Whatever!!. . Don't know about the Ruth in Bible, but in reality, a woman that proposes to a guy, just know she's the bread winner and older than the guy; such marriage do not stand the test of time though, as the guy might be subjected to be the wife/& the house boy and moves to a younger lady when he's settled financially.
*My R1.50c comment *
Whatever!!. . Don't know about the Ruth in Bible, but in reality, a woman that proposes to a guy, just know she's the bread winner and older than the guy; such marriage do not stand the test of time though, as the guy might be subjected to be the wife/& the house boy and moves to a younger lady when he's settled financially.
*My R1.50c comment *
for me i do not see it as a bad thing...the lady would know if d man is ready for commitment cos most men do...we love to be free like a bird..lol
for me i do not see it as a bad thing...the lady would know if d man is ready for commitment cos most men do...we love to be free like a bird..lol
for me i do not see it as a bad thing...the lady would know if d man is ready for commitment cos most men are not ready to be commited...we love to be free like a bird..lol
for me i do not see it as a bad thing...the lady would know if d man is ready for commitment cos most men are not ready to be commited...we love to be free like a bird..lol
Pastor Sam Adeyemi has a point there. Though, we men like being in charge, but some group of men I refer to as "reserved men" will never propose to a lady despite the fact that they love the ladies in question. Such group of men want their ladies to be in charge and very bold. I sense that is what the man of God is trying to pass across to our ladies so that they can be observant and know the kind men they are actually dating. As for me i'm an "alfa male" I'm always in charge and I go for what I want, provided the feeling is mutual.
LOL! @ propose to a man. In dis naija wey "IS A MAN'S WORLD" don sit in everybody's head. D next tin u go hear among his friends na dat cheap, old cargo d beg me to marry am. Na her money or waist I dey find make I eat well first na run I dey. Naija no be western word or india oh. If u be woman want a guy just use style show. Ladies no the code
hmmmmmm,in some places shaa
Before nkor! Lol.
Pastor Sam gotta be the best! Yes I say ask and know how far!! Don't ask and be fooled!
Wisdom is required for a woman in this regards.
Get wisdom get understanding.
Heheheheh make I hear, ladies where una dey. Make una come propose to me oo
Nice to hear that....ride on pastor!!!
Words of wisdom
That one man of God, am not a member but his teachings re one of a kind...
I agree but me i no fit.
wish all d girls wld adhere to this..........so we guyz can form and say lemme think abt it..
Yes I agreed with him,am a guy I so much believe it's right for lady to
Man of "god"
Its true shaa....
True, but some women mit not pass d message properly which will make d guy disappear. Sometimes, some men need a lil push in d rit direction .
Touche!
Well he is right though, do it rather than going on a long journey, know where the relationship is leading to.
Yes, its true a woman can propose to a man. The story of Ruth confirms that... read it for wisdom. Some men can't see what is in front of them and until you give them the wake up call. Then they will sing Michael Bolton's song... how am I to live without you?
If any woman do dat kain tin here in niger, she's on her own.. Linda, u know na
LINDA CHAI UNA GET TIME SHAAAAA.....You lifted it word for word and i remember hearing this in service that day (I WAS IN THIS SERVICE 2 SUNDAYS AGO) and shaking my head saying NEVER. Not everything a pastor says's must be swallowed hook, line and sinker. Me i am old fashioned i believed in courtship and a proper proposal all this 21st century bullshit is rubbish to me that'st why marriages are crumbling like a pack of cards. The man won't respect you in his mind after all you were desperate for him. WOMEN RUTH TIME DON PASS OOOOO ALL THIS FAWORAJA TIFF EYE MEN WEY FULL TOWN GO JUST DO YOU ANYHOW.
hmmm, dat one no go work for naija oh
Dear pastor nt diz part of d world coz d insult nd laughter frm pple wil nva go away till u die....oyibo cn do it bt nt a Nigerian woman.ur husband wil nt evn respect u sef.....
Why did you use the word 'propose'? To attract people I suppose. He never said 'propose'. In a relationship, the female with wisdom shd knw where d relationship is going. Shikena
Interesting...A big relief to emotional wreck women..
I'm off the market so I'll leave this one to d single chicks n dudes out there. Sweet anonymous.
Hehehehehehe it feels gud to b propsed to by a lady... I felt like a king whn she pop'd d ? And I said YES! Welsha, ladies pr
hmmmm ok na.#THAT AKWA IBOM BOY
Great preacher with a great spirit, it was a wonderful sermon and ɪ̣̝̇ was really bless by the words. ₲ΘƊ bless him more. @farblous
Dis one go hard sha Rev. Sam.
I concur
Am in support of a lady proposing a guy even in asking for a date. ..but its in a mind of the guy how mature the person is cause in some cases guys see a lady that behave such way as a prostitute or bad girl...a matured man know its not so..cause most atimes guys are shy to make the move ...even girls too it take courage and confidence to do so..
Mr sucas here
Am in support of a lady proposing a guy even in asking for a date. ..but its in a mind of the guy how mature the person is cause in some cases guys see a lady that behave such way as a prostitute or bad girl...a matured man know its not so..cause most atimes guys are shy to make the move ...even girls too it take courage and confidence to do so..
Mr sucas here
A man that stands on mountain top with mouth open waiting for roast duck to fly into his mouth will wait a long time. I'm fed up of waiting for Linda Ikeji to propose. I'm off to my dad's village to find a bush virgin girl that would do as I command.
lol
Ladies nowadays use pregnancy to tie a guy down for marriage Instead . Some guys still run. But most nigerian ladies will never do this . But applying wisdom like he said makes a good point
Best comment ever!
Excuse me, where did he say anything about propose???? Tell or talk or ask a guy about the future/marriage is not the same thing as proposing to him!!!! I once heard a Pastor say if a guy has been dancing around you for a whileeee & not saying anything specific, you have the right to stop the music & say "dude wats up?"
So linda wat r u waiting for, go get ur man
If the guy con reject nko?
naija babes should take note
Uti nwachukwu speaks on his first s*xual encounter, says he could not where to put it
Nigga wat?
With this comment..allow me to say this..'Go to hell'
#wisdom from the jungle box @assumes the sprint is a marathon
U go school at all, did u read the part where he said they like meat they chase in the bush
U sure a bitter 1
The beauty of the whole thing is that man should propose to woman........But a lady can propose with out proposing. If want to knw how add me on facebook Ichie Mustapha
Loooolz
Loooolz
Wat happened to d part of d bible dat says he dat findeth a wife findeth a good thing and obtains favour from d Lord. Bible could as well said she dat findeth a husband. I like pastor Sam 's preaching but I dnt agree with him on dis one.
Aunty linda why did u use an headline that the content is different . The content totally shows what the pastor stop pushing out wrong information just to attract people to your blog
I think people are missing the point here.
Pastor Adeyemi really didn't say a lady can "propose"- no.
He said, "Prod" and, truly, a lady MUST prod!
You cannot just sit there and form, "we're good friends" and hang out with a guy for months, going out with him, seeing only him, going to church with him, excluding relations, no matter how platonic, with members of the opposite sex (he'd get territorial or possessive if you as much as mention that you'd had lunch with a male colleague or sth along those lines), without having defined what you and the man are actually doing.
Two months is even enough for you to ask a man who's constantly taking up your time and attention what it is he truly wants from you.
I asked my husband that question the second week he'd been over-calling me, I wasn't ready for any long thing, he was calling like 5 times a day and the night calls would last about 2 hours- I just wanted to cut through the chase and it really helped us because we knew we both wanted a serious relationship that would lead to marriage and so, we decided to see if we got on well together and if we could tolerate each other- kinda old school yeah- but it worked out- there was the express understanding that if it didn't work out, we'd split up- the whole thing was to see if we were good enough together to be married- that was the end goal.
I was 26 at the time already- from 24, I never gave any guy more than a year- if it wasn't working out, I left.
Before then, I had been all about the "compulsory" two years in a relationship to "learn the person well".
Pastor Sam never said a woman can propose to a man. Linda put up this headline to get traffic as always. Pastor Sam said the woman can employ wisdom and give the guy some signals which will let the guy know whats up. When Boaz woke up and saw Ruth at his feet, he knew what to do. Some men need that kind of prodding. And Boaz still did the proposing at the end. Don't get it twisted. If you like don't publish my comment.
@6:39, I concur. This ed guy is also on bella naija and his comments has always been completely off the deep end. He got checked by one of the ladies on bellanaija for making dumb comments. Dude, you need an ASAP upgrade from the village bush you call home. Granted you are entitled to your own opinion but dawgoonit, really? An end to your career? To think people like you actually vote!
@Ed, you must be living in a different era. You better come back from that Jupiter that you've been hiding at. Keep thinking in that 1890's mentality and see how far it gets you in this life.
This is very hard...but i concur..if u can see the traces..go for it and be happy...God Bless You Pastor Sam
Now I c end tym oooo kai 7 women to 1man pls let me jst answer ur last name I can tak care of my children and my sef ah is coming to. Pass ooooooooooooo
Move on and find anada. Abi men population don reduce for this earth?
Linda take a cue.....atleast you have a reference point from the bible.
Which dirty career u get? Village hunter like u.
Yes very true, I agreed with him, but ninja babe won't dare it, bcos of forming
Single ladies, how long should you wait for him to put a ring on it....find out on omalichaspeaks.blogspot.com
Truely
I am a hunter and will never be hunted, the only way a woman can chase a man is to use her power to manipulate him. She is in trouble if it backfires!
Linda, your headline is misleading! And people commenting, did you bother to understand the body of this headline atall? People please get a grip. I was in that service and what he was saying is that for ladies who have male friends who are shy and laid back and do not know how to speak up, for you not to loose the guy if you feel a certain way for such male, then the lady can "prod". It is not by force, its only a suggestion for you ladies who cry your heart out that you are looking for a husbands, or say so so guy is not saying anything, then when you turn 40 you can now agree to propose to a Man abi? And that is why he said " wisdom must be applied in proding" else people who are here commenting will read a different meaning. He also saod clearly that "The thing though is, a lot of time, it's better for the guy to pop the question because men become suspicious a lot of time when they are being chased." Guys no1 said you should not chase, keep chasing, but ladies be wise in your proding of you so wish. Before una start to dey start to call Pastor Sam or Daystar members names understand that he is a motivational speaker and pastor. He will tell you things as they are. Let's all be realistic and stop saying jargons!
@BIMPE.....NICELY SAID! Grest Comment, what the Ps. said there is not a proposal
i am married and my wife made the first move and we are happy in our marriage with children,
there is nothing wrong in a lady making a move on a guy
Okay words of Wisdom, thanks, I won't be doing it though - he shall propose to me IJN when he comes he will be the right person at the right time for the right reasons
Some guys can be mute for years without saying a word and this can be very annoying, at the long run you'll find out its only the lady who has been playing the 'love thing' alone. Truly, the lady can open up to ask the guy (not stylish but boldly)where the relationship is heading, if there's no positive response, why wait for a guy who is indecisive. Abeg no time for long relationships anymore. Its better i am waiting on the Lord than to be into something that might not yield to anything positive. Ladies, lets act with wisdom.
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