Dear LIB reader: My ex husband didn't love me this way
From a LIB reader:
My marriage ended in 2008 after 9 years and four kids because my ex and I just couldn't make it work. The best part of it all was that we managed to remain friends after we parted ways. We see each other often because of our kids and over the years we've become quite close. If you see us together you would never guess we were divorced. I never thought exes could be friends but my relationship with mine has proven me wrong. But there's a problem now. My ex husband met a lady 8 months ago and his attitude totally changed after then. He doesn't come to the house as often as he used to, doesn't see his kids as often as he used to, doesn't call me anymore..and when he eventually shows up at my house all he talks about is her. He's moved her into his home, bought her a Mercedes and taken her on two romantic trips abroad, all in 8 months.
What am I complaining about, you may wonder? Well I was with him for 13 years and gave him four children and he never ever for once took me on a romantic trip abroad. Not once in 13 years.
Just two nights ago, he told me that he's never loved anyone as much as he loves this woman and is planning to pop the question this valentine.
I was with him for 13 years, 4 years dating and 9 years married and he's never loved anyone as much as he loves this woman he met 8 months ago? I know you read this blog occasionally J, thank you!
Linda jor tell her to come out plain cos that's not what happened. She left and there is no child involved. She insulted him and belittled him. She didn't kn he will get to this point. No kids are involved in that marriage so let her get her loosing self off. Those that deserved the abroad romantic trips will still get more.Pls wallow in ur sorrow.
Are you really serious??? So you actually think that this is the best time to announce how much you love your boo!!?? You need help kmt. I'm sure the so called 'boo' doesn't love you as much as you love him *rme* just wait till your 'boo' finds 'the one' and your story would take a drastic turn! N bitch pliz stop inviting us to your crap blog, no one cares. *concerned me*
So this may not be directed to the lady but to people commenting and saying " I know how you feel"...... Bitch please, you know nothing about what she's feeling right now except you have gone through the same or worse! I hate when people say that! This is not just a bf/gf break up. This j ehn, so you decided to rub it in her face, it's even good you guys are no longer together because she can't really see any nice thing you did for her na wa for you! I hope that bitch sucks you dry and runs away. I would want to stay longer and rain insults/curses on you but I'm too busy and I don't think that's the best for now nyway, have a good life n by good i don't mean the ' good' we all know. Kmt n for the lady, next time you see Jo's girlfriend, CHOKE that HO! *concerned me*
I'm so infuriated by Sleek's comment. Yes marriage is important, but women should be able to pride themselves in other accomplishments besides marriage. I hate how Nigerians invalidate women's achievements based on the simple fact that they're not married. Some women don't sit back and decide they're not going to get married...it's just getting harder to find responsible men willing to make that commitment. Is it the guys borrowing money to pay rent and buy unnecessary flashy cars we should settle for just to say "we're married"?
A father is diff from husband, you married your children's father and not ur husbanbd, pls just let it go, u've got the greatest love in the world, and they are your kids, let ur kids be your husband nw, pay all ur attention to them, they all ur world, let him go and love anybody dat's he's own palava. Abeg forget him and take gud kia of ur kids, dat's life for u.
This is ridiculous, men!men! God help us. the fact is, the ex guy is just carried away, soon he will start singing a different song, it is unfortunate that after 9 years the marriage had to break up. there is nothing like perfect marriage, we all strive to make our marriage work. my cadid advice for the young lady in question is that, she don't need to start getting sleepless night because of this new development. it is unfortunate her ex is a confussed person, he will come around and start singing a different song when he meets ungly holes in the new found relationship.she should remain focus and take care of the wonderful gift's our good lord had given to her.
Maybe he's trying to make you jealous or why will he be telling u all these info? Did he try to get back to you after the divorce & u refused? I have a feeling u guys will still have a happy ending cos I really really hate divorce
shebi if i say all i need is a drop of sperm to have a child pple will ask me if i am crazy. This thing called marriage God knows i am very scared. Chai 13 years. I will give you rat poison one day. But in the end i really undastand how this gal feels. My ex left me after 3 years and funny enof he is dating one masquerade like looking gal that needs to buy herself good makeup. Nne all i can say is move on and there is only one person i know that comforts and he is God. Go to him and you will be healed.
Why the whimpering lady. MOVE ON, shouldve done that after divorce. Honestly tell me: If it was you that met a man or. If you meet a man that truly loves you, will u let him hang around U ? Hellooo, you are divorced. That's why I don't believe in friendship with my ex even if my life depends on it (except on coincidence)
Why the whimpering lady. MOVE ON, shouldve done that after divorce. Honestly tell me: If it was you that met a man or. If you meet a man that truly loves you, will u let him hang around U ? Hellooo, you are divorced. That's why I don't believe in friendship with my ex even if my life depends on it (except on coincidence)
Men!! Men!!! we can't live with them yet we can't live without them!! my sister, just take heart and move on tho i can tell you from experience that moving on is the hardest thing to do espcially when you are still in love.thankfully, you have kids so concentrate on them and make yourself more attractive to men again. God will surely give you a man that will love you beyond your imaginations!
HAD A CHAT WITH A FRIEND ABOUT THIS AND WHAT HE SAID MADE SENSE. BASICALLY, HIS ANALYSIS IS THAT YOUR EX LEARNED FROM THE MISTAKES THAT HAPPENED WHEN YOU BOTH WERE TOGETHER AND NOW, HE WILL CHANGE THOSE MISTAKES IN HIS NEW RELATIONSHIP. FOR EXAMPLE, IF HE NEVER TOOK YOU ON A TRIP AND YOU ALWAYS COMPLAINED ABOUT IT, HE WILL CHANGE THIS WITH A NEW WOMAN, ETC ETC.
People stop, stop please , stop blaming nyone , we do not choose d pple we love. She might not av done nytn wrong thats life. I have been in the same shoes loving someone that doesnt love me and yet some other guys are falling head over heels for me yet i cant love them. I only want that one guy and there is no speciality attached to him at all. Its sad thats y the i only solution is to turn to Jesus cos he will neva disappoint or leave u, he wiill comfort and strengthen u through your trying times
MY DEAR MOVE ONN AND GET READY FOR MORE OF HIS ABSENCE. BUT I BET YOU: NEW LOVE NAH SO E DEY SHACK E GO SOON FADE ENN. REMEMBER DR SOLEYE AND NIKE NAH SO OO I BEG BE STRONG FOR YOUR KIDS
wat women go tru all in marriage. my dear u will get a guy too that will love u. he is not ur life. move on. assume he is dead or probably out of the country. at least u pple are divorced. he has no hold on u watsoever. if there is no guy yet, pretend there is someone.he might just wnt to mk u jealous. talk abt ur guy too wen he is there. wish u well.
Na wa o for dz attempt to get self pity.. Now he is bad cos he didn't plan romantic trips with u?? Not lyk u wanted to then buh he refused.. You sound so bitter pls. And u want libers to label him a heartless man so u'll feel good abt urself. Plz frm wot I read u guys r divorced(and u were definitely ok with it),so y dz sob story, he is an ex for chrissake. So woteva he does now with his personal life shouldn't bother you. He told u all doz things cos u were playing d understandin ex wife n friend. Plz stop dz pity-me-act and move on.
u pips saying its pride dat made her lose her man**can u all shout up alredi...... do u no wat happened dat lead to d divorce(dou am nt in support)? or if she didnt try to save her marriage? wat if she had humbled hersef to her husband n dis still happens? pls u guys shuld undastand 1 fin n its dat, no matter hw cool d 2 of dem r, d guy shuld av respected her, atleast respectd d fact dat she was his wife n moda of his children ... n not say all dos fins to her... yes its gud to move on, n no matter wat, in a divorce 1 person gets affected dan d ordeer. sunshine
maybe you should have stayed for 13 years and eight months...........maybe he now has those things that he didnt have that could ve made u stay.....or maybe u just didnt love him enough to reciprocate such love.....it takes alotta patience
I honestly dint want to comment but I'm forced to say a few things to the two of you.
J! You shouldn't say all of that to your ex and mother of your 4 kids. This is Africa not Europe or America. Except you are trying to make jest of her for what she once did to you. But no matter what, you don't need that. Be more matured.
At madam writer, I hope other ladies will learn from this and stop castigating other commenter, that long term dating is not good for you. 4 good years. Common! This thing becomes a habit when it tarries. If you have to marry, then marry. Except for reasonable financial cases, once a man stays for too long to ask your hand in marriage, he is busy taking his time with you while looking out for the sure love. And if his sure love doesn't come, he will go for you but will continue to hope for that girl in his heart.
Except if your life was endangered thru continuous violence, after 4 children, you should have made that marriage work for the sake of your children. You would have swallowed your pride and humbled your dreams for those innocent souls. It's possible. Some women have testified thru this.
Now that you have done it the western women's way, you have got to take it the western women's way. No complain. When a white couple remain friends after divorce, they share secrets of their new partners with themselves without grudges. It's obvious you still love him. You can still get him back, we have seen divorced couples who came back together. If not, move on with your life and care for your children. You will find someone who will take you on a romantic holiday too.
So what?? why are you still caring wether he treated her better or not abi you want to go back .my friend move on and forget about him and how he treats others. he is no longer important in your life.let him go
Is anyone considering the possibility that 13years ago, J may not have had the resources he now has at his disposal? As far as i'm concerned only both of you know what led to the divorce so its pointless giving only your sober side of the story As for J, bruv keep it simple. The less complicated your life is, the better. Don't expect your new 'wife' to love your 4kids.
i really understand ur story,,,but i can tell u that ur husband love u....there is sometin u r not telling us here maybe u want to kept it silence,nevertheless like they say MOVE ON.........Dear readers,u need to stop judging no one ever hear from d husband side but i can tell u there is something she is not telling us here.
I felt emotional too. I'm so sorry you had to go through this! This isn't dating gone wrong, this is a man you were married to. So sorry. I can only tell you to pray, pray that God settles you, try not to think about him and his girlfriend. It'd be hard but its a healing process. May I suggest therapy? I know we're not exactly into that in Nigeria but I'm sure you'd find one. God will comfort you!
Abi o, Mr J take care of your children and no matter how close you are with your ex wife you should never flaunt your new relationship. Come on, this woman was with you for 13 years!
9ja woman,move on wit your life. Relationship/Marriage is not all about only you and what you want. U wanted 4 kids, he wanted to be loved. It is not the number of " miserable" years you've been married or how many children you have together that makes a marriage. It is about looking out for the other person, how they feel, what they want and most of all, where you are BOTH going together. Too many men and women will not fulfil their destinies because they are in bondage not marriage. Girl, this is your chance to find your own "person" who you will walk/ work together to fulfil destiny.
WAT A SAD STORY @jj i believe u r d man shes referring to wat more do u want frm a woman who has gone through d tin lines btw line n death to bear 4 good looking kids for u? my dear, u ve done ur best call it 9 wasted yrs wit great mission. GIVE all thanks to GOD dat u r still alive wat if he had killed u like others who has lost their life for a worthless men. in all give thanks n move on...... u will surely find love... mama
He must have married you because you were pregnant and you went on to have 3 more kids in the hope of holding him. Well, well, he has found love and when a man LOVES a woman . . . Babe, move on and let him go, he was never yours to keep. He deserves to have a life cos if he ain't happy, your kids ain't gonna be happy too! My advise to you is Get on with your life and forget what he is doing with anyone else. You too can find love if you give yourself the chance.
i think he didnt love you from the start, he was just pretending or patching up with you.or its either u have a very bad character and the other woman is well behaved, but if its better you are out then good for u and you have to overlook anything he does and face your children squarely.
I really feel for u, especially ur KIDS cos now they will have to share their father with his NEW BABE and I can bet that the man will choose to be with her rather than his KIDS and U. My advice is for u to move closer to GOD cos HE is the only ONE that will neither leave nor forsake U. That's y I can't stand DIVORCE especially when KIDS are involved. GOD HELP U
The guy's a jackass for rubbing it in her face like that. Divorced couples are never neutral! It's never ok to make the mother of ur kids feel down and depressed with jealousy just becos he's found a new whore! My dear f**k him and move on. Truth is he never really loved anyone but himself.No one else's feelings or pain matters to him. His new fling will soon find that out! Give it time!
my own question is why he is telling her all these.Move on and stop taunting her wit ur love life!!! Woman!you too stop entertaining painful conversations.its is clear he has moved on, do the same!!!
May I remind you that he is your EX-husband. We are only hearing your side. The stress that you gave him during your marriage were not touched on. For him to stay that long with you shows he is a good man. You need to work on yourself. You need to be lovable if you want to be loved.
I feel your pain but you gotta move on cos he already did. but u also need to ask yourself some questions wot didn't you do right while u guys were still together?there's obviously something the new girl is doing right that you never did. Anyways i wish u all the best and i pray you find true love and happiness.
I feel your pain but you gotta move on cos he already did. but u also need to ask yourself some questions wot didn't you do right while u guys were still together?there's obviously something the new girl is doing right that you never did. Anyways i wish u all the best and i pray you find true love and happiness.
May I remind you that he is your EX-husband. We are only hearing your side. The stress that you gave him during your marriage were not touched on. For him to stay that long with you shows he is a good man. You need to work on yourself. You need to be lovable if you want to be loved.
Love is like faith! It may work for you if you believe. You just have to believe to make it work. You must first love yourself and give love to receive more love.
Love is like faith! It may work for you if you believe. You just have to believe to make it work. You must first love yourself and give love to receive more love.
WOW!!! Can I please say you are JEALOUS? He's obviously moved on with his life, relegated you to the sidelines as his EX, gotten himself a partner and most of all accepted that you are part of his past. Why don't you do the same? MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE!!!!
Oh dear!! Life is cruel, no one can ever love you like you can love yourself hon. I know it hurts, if you love yourself enough, it wouldn't hurt as much although, 13 years and 4 kids no be small feat. My dear, My heart goes out to you. Insensitive of him to be telling you these things tho men have fish brain and thinks u guys r "cool".
I feel bad for you dear, was so touched when i read this, it shows he doesnt think about you anymore, i know this is difficult for you, all i can say is make sure your children are ok, he still a father to them so he should be responsible to them. And try to move on with your life, get back in shape and start dating again when the opportunity comes
In fact u got it spot on! U make sense.... I'm a wife and a mum of 2 and I totally agree with you. The new lady isnt necessarily the best thing since sliced bread but she's defo met J at a different time.....I hope the writer can move on gracefully. This whole thing doesn't mean the world has ended....it's all good xxx
i read ds and felt nothing but pain... sad how the one you deeply love n bore kids for have no mutual feelings for u. BUT! i guess u both were not meant to be husband and wife but great friends. sad it took you this long to find out. you sound jealous but of course, who would'nt? i would if it were to be. sweetheart, hard as it may be, put it behind you, and move on. really sad.
Dear, i have just one advice for you: Go out there and live! it might not be easy with the kids and all but you are a super woman.
Go on dates, take care of you more, do all the things you always wanted to do but never got the chance. do not dwell on this sadness it'l only give you wrinkles.:))
Some dudes are vindictive. To my mind, I think he may not be really doing all that stuff because he loves her. It may be to make you regret leaving him. To test out this theory, get your own Bobo, and lavish attention on him while making your man know in subtle ways.
Tire go burst go expressway. And you will see the truth.
Apologies that this has little to do with the original post but Sleek!!! I am not into name calling but there are always exceptions. Seriously how silly are you?? So, in your eyes, I am worth nothing because I am not married at 28? I should go and kill myself shebi? I should have married anyone who bothered to ask right? Hmmnnn, there is something very wrong if you define your own self worth solely by your marital status.
Let me tell you a little bit about myself...I am an educated 28yr old bill paying professional lady. I will NEVER marry any man for any reason other than LOVE. Not for money, not just for children, not for good looks, not for charisma and definitely not for some fake ass respect from people like you who judge me because I have decided to actually be ambitious in love and life. You have settled for what you can get, I will settle for what I deserve.
Marriage can be great but babes let me give you gist, that guy that you are building your world around can up and leave you ANY day. If he doesn't leave you outright, he can marry another woman (or women), have a litter of kids outside. If you are particularly unlucky he can slap you one day just to test the waters. The 'virtuous submission' with which you accept the slap is then likely to encourage him to go a bit further...till you have to start explaining how you fell down the stairs or walked right into that door.
I don't even wish these on you... I hope your marriage is sweet (those definitely do exist). However, as you enjoy your marriage please SHUT UP before fate takes your smug self and makes your life a sick joke.
i neve write here, but just have to...im married and i cant imagine how you feel. all i can say is that Jesus is always up to something. Put your trust in him. have confidence that His plans for you are to prosper you and the way events will turn around will shock u. its hard but try. also many single women will pretend and do anything to be married right now.. but we married people know that is is after the wedding the marriage starts...thats when the trials come...so bliv me if u didnt do anthing major to push him away, he will still have the same complaints with his current gf...
Anon at January 29, 2013 at 10:25 AM seems closer to the truth. Men think differently. A divorce has changed him. It is likely, that he is now a lot more attentive and more sensitive to the new woman in his life. He doesn't want to lose another woman. The 'other woman' in the equation is probably very receptive of this 'brand new man' and so things are working out for them. I am so sorry babes...shit really does happen. If you want him back, fight for him before he proposes to her...you have his kids and at the moment you have more of a life with him than she does. If you both had truly irreconcilable differences, be honest to yourself and try to stop letting him into your life more than is necessary for the children's sake. It won't be easy but I am sending lots of love and strength your way (Hugs)
The guy might be doing all these things just to make you feel this way (jealous, miserable and a total loser).....Don't give in to that> And let me ask you this: what value have you added to yourself since you left him? My dear, move on with your life and act as though you don't give a damn about his new found 'love'......Another thing is: how much value did you add to his life while you were with him? This new lady may (just may) have some values which you lack. By and large, move on and stop hurting yourself by keeping grudges
I have been through something similar. There are sometimes that divorce is just best for both of you and your children. It's good to maintain a cordial relationship but I will say here that you have made your self too available for him. You have made him see you as a friend and not an ex . I don't think he is telling you how he feels Bout the new lady to oppress you, he just sees you as a friend that he can tell his feelings.
Pick up your bible and pray to God. One day, he will come back 4 u. He can't forget all those years in a hurry even if he's a beast. Quote me, he'll surely come back when his eyes are cleared. A friend of mine is currently dating a married man and I've warned her several times but she wouldn't listen. Now they are planning 2 get married. I pity her oo..cos i know the end of it won't b a funny tale. Trust me, sis, he'll be back for u. Much love dear. from mee..
Lol na today she know dat one, a beg her time done pass, she get four kids to take care of, maybe she no give d guy time self( 4 kids in 9 yrs ahhhh which time u come get four ur guys so) u were busy breast feeding instead ongoing down low
ONE READER JUST SAID THAT NOTHING A MAN DOES WILL SHOCK HER.WHY DO WOMEN ALWAYS CRY VICTIMS?THEY BELIEVE IT IS ALWAYS A MAN'S FAULT.WELL, THE WRITER ONLY GAVE US HER OWN SIDE OF THE STORY,BUT I BELIEVE THERE IS REASON FOR EVERYTHIN.LOVE BEGETS LOVE,RESPECT BEGETS RESPECT.DID SHE GIVE HER HUSBAND ENOUGH LOVE AND RESPECT?IT IS SURPRISING THAT MOST WOMEN ARE EXCITED ABOUT MARRIAGE,YET WHEN THEY GET MARRIED,THEY WONT BEHAVE,ONLY TO CRY OVER SPILT MILK AND GET FRUSTRATED WHEN DIVORCE COMES.THE OTHER DAY,A GROUP OF LADIES TOLD ME THAT IF THEIR HUSBANDS EXPECT THEM TO CONTRIBUTE FINANCIALLY TO THE HOME,THEY,THE HUSBANDS SHOULD ALSO SHARE 50-50 IN COOKING,CLEANING AND ANY OTHER HOUSEHOLD CHORES!THEY ALMOST LYNCHED ME FOR SUGGESTING THAT A MAN CAN ONLY HELP WHILE IT IS THE WOMAN'S PRIMARY RESPONSIBILITY DO HOUSEWORK.ATTITUDES LIKE THIS WOULD PUT ANY REAL MAN OFF A WIFE EVEN IF SHE IS A MULTI MILLIONAIRE.ALMOST EVERYDAY,I PRAY TO GOD,MAY I NEVER BE PUT IN A POSITION TO ASK MY WIFE FOR MONEY. OF COURSE MEN ARE NO SAINTS BUT IF A HUSBAND IS CHEATING(AND WHO SAYS A WIFE DOES NOT CHEAT?)IT TAKES LOVE,SUBMISSION AND PRAYER,NOT OPPOSITION AND REBELLION TO WIN HIM BACK.THE READER SHOULD REFLECT WHERE SHE GOT IT WRONG SO AS TO SUCCEED IN HER FUTURE RELATIONSHIP.
That is d truth, he is telling you all these things to make you jealous. Besides , even if it's true' good for him. Some men r like dat' u have endured with him for too long dat he has no value or respect for you. This is just 8 months, let d new thing scatter his brain, you stayed for yrs' let's see how far they can carry on. For me my advice is when u r done, cut off from him, after all u left bcos u couldn't take his problems anymore, even if he becomes a billionaire dat's his business. As long as he never loved or gave u dat respect. Don't forget to always remind him to send ur check for the upkeep of your innocent kids. I GENUINELY pray to God for you to send you a man dat would love u.
Men can be soooo heartless i swear! Tufiakwa! Whatta hell was the need for him to flaunt all these details to his ex for??
My dear please move on and live ur life! If u have family close, leave the kids with them once in a while and go out with friends. Go on vacays with ur kids and enjoy life! Trust me, while living life, u will meet someone who will love u like u deserve (yes, even with ur kids). My aunt just got remarried to a medical doctor in Abuja and the man loves and spoils her like mad. Dont sit and wallow in this mess. If u feel ur body isnt up to par, get in shape...change ur wardrobe...dress-up everyday like u're hitting the runway. Ur ex is obviously an insensitive a-hole ...he doesn't deserve ur hurt or tears.
he probably didnt love you that much. it happens. people marry not because they r in love, then when they meet that 1 they love, it changes everything. sorry
It is not easy but all you can do is take your burdens to the Lord so He can guide and direct your steps. It is wonderful that you wanted a good relationship with your ex for the sake of your kids. But, from one divorced lady to another, I have released him to his women but I do maintain a cordial friendship for the sake of our children. You have done a wonderful thing by having a healthy relationship in order for the children to adjust well. Please try not to punish him by spoiling him in front of the kids. Just remain cordial with him and keep the emotional health of the children, a priority. May God help you IJN. As my pastor said, life is not fair and we must fight through prayer and fasting for what we deserve. Now, it may not mean that you may get him back, but God our father, will point you in the right direction. In the place where you will no longer be an outcast but where you truly belong. The spirit of rejection truly hurts but God says He will take care of us. I pray God's mercies for you and your children. Take heart.
Why is everybody here assuming that bcos you are married automatically you are in love? This is not always the case… bcos you are dating someone does not mean you are in love with them either.. Obviously this is all J’s fault he was never really in love with the mother of his children yet he got married. My mom always said something”it is always better for a man to love a woman way more than a woman loves a man” this equals a lasting relationship/marriage. J brother man, you need to be there for your kids enjoy you new babe but please don’t rub it in the face of the mother of your children as you know its going to take her some time to heal and her heart is still fragile.
Hmmmmm,why do people automatically assume the wife didnt treat her hubby well..........thus him not treating her right. Abeg stop making excuses for the man.
Woman, u nid to move on like seriously. Also any woman dat changes a man's attitude to his kids, aint right oooo.
9ja women & their wahala. Didn't you say hes your EX? Didn't you say you were friends even after the divorce? What is your business now how he chooses to love his girlfriend? When you choose to be all chummy with your ex-husband, then be prepare to listen to bullsh*t. Abeg, free J jo! He is living his life. You need to go and do same. In life, not everyone we marry is our true love or soul-mate. Sadly, that's just the way life and love go. If J was such a bad person, i doubt you would have been friends with him after your divorce. So, just keep things simple and accept, you both just aren't meant to be together for now.... who knows what life has in store next year or in 10years though?
it seems that a lot of Nigerians have candy for brains, going by the comments on this blog. Why would people automatically assume that the woman was to blame for the divorce? If she was such a bad person, do you think the man would even remain friends with her? Haba, some of you should use your brains jor
dat man is mad more reason you should never pity them just enjoy while it lasts.....dat guy has a Dumbskull & he wld b back trust me i knw der type....
Why is the woman crying over spilt milk? I'm even wondering if the 4 years of courtship wasn't enuff for the man to have known that he was with the wrong person or was the marriage based on a condition? My dear move on.... That is the best thing u can do for your self now.
The following is what you need to do for your mental health and that of your kids: 1. Stop being friends with your husband. 2. Deny him custody of the kids, take full responsibility. Don't worry! You'll be fine. 3. Relocate to a different place and change your number. Start life all over. 4. Make your children your motivation. Earn money and treat yourself and your kids with love. 5. Channel your anger and frustration to becoming a better person. 6. Appreciate life. Treat yourself and your kids to trips....Have fun.
Soon or later, this painful memory will all be a thing of the past. Be strong!
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293 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 293 of 293Linda jor tell her to come out plain cos that's not what happened. She left and there is no child involved. She insulted him and belittled him. She didn't kn he will get to this point. No kids are involved in that marriage so let her get her loosing self off. Those that deserved the abroad romantic trips will still get more.Pls wallow in ur sorrow.
Are you really serious??? So you actually think that this is the best time to announce how much you love your boo!!?? You need help kmt. I'm sure the so called 'boo' doesn't love you as much as you love him *rme* just wait till your 'boo' finds 'the one' and your story would take a drastic turn! N bitch pliz stop inviting us to your crap blog, no one cares.
*concerned me*
So this may not be directed to the lady but to people commenting and saying " I know how you feel"...... Bitch please, you know nothing about what she's feeling right now except you have gone through the same or worse! I hate when people say that! This is not just a bf/gf break up. This j ehn, so you decided to rub it in her face, it's even good you guys are no longer together because she can't really see any nice thing you did for her na wa for you! I hope that bitch sucks you dry and runs away. I would want to stay longer and rain insults/curses on you but I'm too busy and I don't think that's the best for now nyway, have a good life n by good i don't mean the ' good' we all know. Kmt n for the lady, next time you see Jo's girlfriend, CHOKE that HO!
*concerned me*
@Alicia, so....a dog had it with your ma'am. Right?
#That makes your Dad a dog too#
I'm so infuriated by Sleek's comment. Yes marriage is important, but women should be able to pride themselves in other accomplishments besides marriage. I hate how Nigerians invalidate women's achievements based on the simple fact that they're not married. Some women don't sit back and decide they're not going to get married...it's just getting harder to find responsible men willing to make that commitment. Is it the guys borrowing money to pay rent and buy unnecessary flashy cars we should settle for just to say "we're married"?
Mayb he still loves u..nd he is trying to make u jealous..otherwise he shldnt be putting it all over ur face.
eeeeeyyyyyaaahhhhh pele e ma su kun
That's what happens when you don't give your man BJ and his new lady does. Ladies give your man BJ if you don't to lose him to capable hands.
That makes two of us.tears welled up in my eyes as soon as I finished reading. Love hurts! Too damn much
A father is diff from husband, you married your children's father and not ur husbanbd, pls just let it go, u've got the greatest love in the world, and they are your kids, let ur kids be your husband nw, pay all ur attention to them, they all ur world, let him go and love anybody dat's he's own palava. Abeg forget him and take gud kia of ur kids, dat's life for u.
He is ur ex for a reason,forget him move on n u will surely meet ur own man
the "J" there means "Joseph Benjamin"...do the maths people!!!
Lets see if "J" pops the Q come Feb 1.4...rme
This is ridiculous, men!men! God help us. the fact is, the ex guy is just carried away, soon he will start singing a different song, it is unfortunate that after 9 years the marriage had to break up. there is nothing like perfect marriage, we all strive to make our marriage work. my cadid advice for the young lady in question is that, she don't need to start getting sleepless night because of this new development. it is unfortunate her ex is a confussed person, he will come around and start singing a different song when he meets ungly holes in the new found relationship.she should remain focus and take care of the wonderful gift's our good lord had given to her.
Anonymous said...
What I've noticed as a man is that some women personality determines how deeply you can love her.
January 29, 2013 at 7:22 AM
this is the best comment ever...whether she a ho',a groupie or an angel,her personality is what keeps the man!!! (and its vice-versa too)
Maybe he's trying to make you jealous or why will he be telling u all these info? Did he try to get back to you after the divorce & u refused? I have a feeling u guys will still have a happy ending cos I really really hate divorce
shebi if i say all i need is a drop of sperm to have a child pple will ask me if i am crazy. This thing called marriage God knows i am very scared. Chai 13 years. I will give you rat poison one day. But in the end i really undastand how this gal feels. My ex left me after 3 years and funny enof he is dating one masquerade like looking gal that needs to buy herself good makeup. Nne all i can say is move on and there is only one person i know that comforts and he is God. Go to him and you will be healed.
Why the whimpering lady. MOVE ON, shouldve done that after divorce. Honestly tell me: If it was you that met a man or. If you meet a man that truly loves you, will u let him hang around U ? Hellooo, you are divorced. That's why I don't believe in friendship with my ex even if my life depends on it (except on coincidence)
Why the whimpering lady. MOVE ON, shouldve done that after divorce. Honestly tell me: If it was you that met a man or. If you meet a man that truly loves you, will u let him hang around U ? Hellooo, you are divorced. That's why I don't believe in friendship with my ex even if my life depends on it (except on coincidence)
Men!! Men!!! we can't live with them yet we can't live without them!! my sister, just take heart and move on tho i can tell you from experience that moving on is the hardest thing to do espcially when you are still in love.thankfully, you have kids so concentrate on them and make yourself more attractive to men again. God will surely give you a man that will love you beyond your imaginations!
HAD A CHAT WITH A FRIEND ABOUT THIS AND WHAT HE SAID MADE SENSE. BASICALLY, HIS ANALYSIS IS THAT YOUR EX LEARNED FROM THE MISTAKES THAT HAPPENED WHEN YOU BOTH WERE TOGETHER AND NOW, HE WILL CHANGE THOSE MISTAKES IN HIS NEW RELATIONSHIP. FOR EXAMPLE, IF HE NEVER TOOK YOU ON A TRIP AND YOU ALWAYS COMPLAINED ABOUT IT, HE WILL CHANGE THIS WITH A NEW WOMAN, ETC ETC.
TAKE HEART SIS, LEAVE IT IN THE PAST.
People stop, stop please , stop blaming nyone , we do not choose d pple we love. She might not av done nytn wrong thats life. I have been in the same shoes loving someone that doesnt love me and yet some other guys are falling head over heels for me yet i cant love them. I only want that one guy and there is no speciality attached to him at all. Its sad thats y the i only solution is to turn to Jesus cos he will neva disappoint or leave u, he wiill comfort and strengthen u through your trying times
MY DEAR MOVE ONN AND GET READY FOR MORE OF HIS ABSENCE. BUT I BET YOU: NEW LOVE NAH SO E DEY SHACK E GO SOON FADE ENN. REMEMBER DR SOLEYE AND NIKE NAH SO OO I BEG BE STRONG FOR YOUR KIDS
Wait, are you the "j " shes reffering to?
wat women go tru all in marriage. my dear u will get a guy too that will love u. he is not ur life. move on. assume he is dead or probably out of the country. at least u pple are divorced. he has no hold on u watsoever. if there is no guy yet, pretend there is someone.he might just wnt to mk u jealous. talk abt ur guy too wen he is there. wish u well.
Na wa o for dz attempt to get self pity.. Now he is bad cos he didn't plan romantic trips with u?? Not lyk u wanted to then buh he refused.. You sound so bitter pls. And u want libers to label him a heartless man so u'll feel good abt urself.
Plz frm wot I read u guys r divorced(and u were definitely ok with it),so y dz sob story, he is an ex for chrissake. So woteva he does now with his personal life shouldn't bother you. He told u all doz things cos u were playing d understandin ex wife n friend. Plz stop dz pity-me-act and move on.
u pips saying its pride dat made her lose her man**can u all shout up alredi...... do u no wat happened dat lead to d divorce(dou am nt in support)? or if she didnt try to save her marriage? wat if she had humbled hersef to her husband n dis still happens? pls u guys shuld undastand 1 fin n its dat, no matter hw cool d 2 of dem r, d guy shuld av respected her, atleast respectd d fact dat she was his wife n moda of his children ... n not say all dos fins to her... yes its gud to move on, n no matter wat, in a divorce 1 person gets affected dan d ordeer. sunshine
No. Life is actually a cunt.
maybe you should have stayed for 13 years and eight months...........maybe he now has those things that he didnt have that could ve made u stay.....or maybe u just didnt love him enough to reciprocate such love.....it takes alotta patience
I honestly dint want to comment but I'm forced to say a few things to the two of you.
J! You shouldn't say all of that to your ex and mother of your 4 kids. This is Africa not Europe or America. Except you are trying to make jest of her for what she once did to you. But no matter what, you don't need that. Be more matured.
At madam writer, I hope other ladies will learn from this and stop castigating other commenter, that long term dating is not good for you. 4 good years. Common! This thing becomes a habit when it tarries. If you have to marry, then marry. Except for reasonable financial cases, once a man stays for too long to ask your hand in marriage, he is busy taking his time with you while looking out for the sure love. And if his sure love doesn't come, he will go for you but will continue to hope for that girl in his heart.
Except if your life was endangered thru continuous violence, after 4 children, you should have made that marriage work for the sake of your children. You would have swallowed your pride and humbled your dreams for those innocent souls. It's possible. Some women have testified thru this.
Now that you have done it the western women's way, you have got to take it the western women's way. No complain. When a white couple remain friends after divorce, they share secrets of their new partners with themselves without grudges. It's obvious you still love him. You can still get him back, we have seen divorced couples who came back together. If not, move on with your life and care for your children. You will find someone who will take you on a romantic holiday too.
So what?? why are you still caring wether he treated her better or not abi you want to go back .my friend move on and forget about him and how he treats others. he is no longer important in your life.let him go
Is anyone considering the possibility that 13years ago, J may not have had the resources he now has at his disposal? As far as i'm concerned only both of you know what led to the divorce so its pointless giving only your sober side of the story
As for J, bruv keep it simple. The less complicated your life is, the better. Don't expect your new 'wife' to love your 4kids.
i really understand ur story,,,but i can tell u that ur husband love u....there is sometin u r not telling us here maybe u want to kept it silence,nevertheless like they say MOVE ON.........Dear readers,u need to stop judging no one ever hear from d husband side but i can tell u there is something she is not telling us here.
I felt emotional too. I'm so sorry you had to go through this! This isn't dating gone wrong, this is a man you were married to. So sorry.
I can only tell you to pray, pray that God settles you, try not to think about him and his girlfriend. It'd be hard but its a healing process.
May I suggest therapy? I know we're not exactly into that in Nigeria but I'm sure you'd find one.
God will comfort you!
Abi o, Mr J take care of your children and no matter how close you are with your ex wife you should never flaunt your new relationship. Come on, this woman was with you for 13 years!
9ja woman,move on wit your life. Relationship/Marriage is not all about only you and what you want. U wanted 4 kids, he wanted to be loved. It is not the number of " miserable" years you've been married or how many children you have together that makes a marriage. It is about looking out for the other person, how they feel, what they want and most of all, where you are BOTH going together. Too many men and women will not fulfil their destinies because they are in bondage not marriage. Girl, this is your chance to find your own "person" who you will walk/ work together to fulfil destiny.
WAT A SAD STORY @jj i believe u r d man shes referring to wat more do u want frm a woman who has gone through d tin lines btw line n death to bear 4 good looking kids for u?
my dear, u ve done ur best call it 9 wasted yrs wit great mission. GIVE all thanks to GOD dat u r still alive wat if he had killed u like others who has lost their life for a worthless men. in all give thanks n move on...... u will surely find love... mama
He must have married you because you were pregnant and you went on to have 3 more kids in the hope of holding him. Well, well, he has found love and when a man LOVES a woman . . .
Babe, move on and let him go, he was never yours to keep. He deserves to have a life cos if he ain't happy, your kids ain't gonna be happy too! My advise to you is Get on with your life and forget what he is doing with anyone else. You too can find love if you give yourself the chance.
i think he didnt love you from the start, he was just pretending or patching up with you.or its either u have a very bad character and the other woman is well behaved, but if its better you are out then good for u and you have to overlook anything he does and face your children squarely.
I really feel for u, especially ur KIDS cos now they will have to share their father with his NEW BABE and I can bet that the man will choose to be with her rather than his KIDS and U. My advice is for u to move closer to GOD cos HE is the only ONE that will neither leave nor forsake U. That's y I can't stand DIVORCE especially when KIDS are involved. GOD HELP U
The guy's a jackass for rubbing it in her face like that. Divorced couples are never neutral! It's never ok to make the mother of ur kids feel down and depressed with jealousy just becos he's found a new whore!
My dear f**k him and move on. Truth is he never really loved anyone but himself.No one else's feelings or pain matters to him. His new fling will soon find that out! Give it time!
Hmmm!
Move on my dear and give ur children ur love..
Woman don't listen to what some people on here are saying. Marriage is about commitment. Woman how ever you can FIGHT FOR YOUR MARRIAGE!!!
BIKO, MOVE ON! YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY NOW DWELLING IN THE FRIEND ZONE FOR HIM TO HAVE TOLD U ALL THAT!
my own question is why he is telling her all these.Move on and stop taunting her wit ur love life!!!
Woman!you too stop entertaining painful conversations.its is clear he has moved on, do the same!!!
May I remind you that he is your EX-husband. We are only hearing your side. The stress that you gave him during your marriage were not touched on. For him to stay that long with you shows he is a good man. You need to work on yourself. You need to be lovable if you want to be loved.
I feel your pain but you gotta move on cos he already did. but u also need to ask yourself some questions wot didn't you do right while u guys were still together?there's obviously something the new girl is doing right that you never did. Anyways i wish u all the best and i pray you find true love and happiness.
I feel your pain but you gotta move on cos he already did. but u also need to ask yourself some questions wot didn't you do right while u guys were still together?there's obviously something the new girl is doing right that you never did. Anyways i wish u all the best and i pray you find true love and happiness.
May I remind you that he is your EX-husband. We are only hearing your side. The stress that you gave him during your marriage were not touched on. For him to stay that long with you shows he is a good man. You need to work on yourself. You need to be lovable if you want to be loved.
Mr. J sit up
Love is like faith! It may work for you if you believe. You just have to believe to make it work. You must first love yourself and give love to receive more love.
Love is like faith! It may work for you if you believe. You just have to believe to make it work. You must first love yourself and give love to receive more love.
Lol...so true. Thesame happened to me and my new girl cannot wait to marry me and have my kids!
....now, i feel like flying over the moon :)
LET IT GO WOMAN, PLEASE LET IT GO AND MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE.
WOW!!! Can I please say you are JEALOUS? He's obviously moved on with his life, relegated you to the sidelines as his EX, gotten himself a partner and most of all accepted that you are part of his past. Why don't you do the same? MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE!!!!
Oh dear!! Life is cruel, no one can ever love you like you can love yourself hon. I know it hurts, if you love yourself enough, it wouldn't hurt as much although, 13 years and 4 kids no be small feat. My dear, My heart goes out to you. Insensitive of him to be telling you these things tho men have fish brain and thinks u guys r "cool".
I feel bad for you dear, was so touched when i read this, it shows he doesnt think about you anymore, i know this is difficult for you, all i can say is make sure your children are ok, he still a father to them so he should be responsible to them. And try to move on with your life, get back in shape and start dating again when the opportunity comes
In fact u got it spot on! U make sense.... I'm a wife and a mum of 2 and I totally agree with you. The new lady isnt necessarily the best thing since sliced bread but she's defo met J at a different time.....I hope the writer can move on gracefully. This whole thing doesn't mean the world has ended....it's all good xxx
i read ds and felt nothing but pain...
sad how the one you deeply love n bore kids for have no mutual feelings for u. BUT! i guess u both were not meant to be husband and wife but great friends. sad it took you this long to find out.
you sound jealous but of course, who would'nt? i would if it were to be.
sweetheart, hard as it may be, put it behind you, and move on. really sad.
MR Universe of 10.38pm the best answer and advice i have read....*bbm thumbs up*
Dear, i have just one advice for you: Go out there and live! it might not be easy with the kids and all but you are a super woman.
Go on dates, take care of you more, do all the things you always wanted to do but never got the chance. do not dwell on this sadness it'l only give you wrinkles.:))
Typical man, selfish lot.....
NEWSFLASH, NEWSFLASH, NEWSFLASH, NEWSFLASH, NEWSFLASH, NEWSFLASH, NEWSFLASH , NEWSFLASH
Some dudes are vindictive.
To my mind, I think he may not be really doing all that stuff because he loves her.
It may be to make you regret leaving him.
To test out this theory, get your own Bobo, and lavish attention on him while making your man know in subtle ways.
Tire go burst go expressway.
And you will see the truth.
Just pull urself together and move on...
Apologies that this has little to do with the original post but Sleek!!! I am not into name calling but there are always exceptions. Seriously how silly are you?? So, in your eyes, I am worth nothing because I am not married at 28? I should go and kill myself shebi? I should have married anyone who bothered to ask right? Hmmnnn, there is something very wrong if you define your own self worth solely by your marital status.
Let me tell you a little bit about myself...I am an educated 28yr old bill paying professional lady. I will NEVER marry any man for any reason other than LOVE. Not for money, not just for children, not for good looks, not for charisma and definitely not for some fake ass respect from people like you who judge me because I have decided to actually be ambitious in love and life. You have settled for what you can get, I will settle for what I deserve.
Marriage can be great but babes let me give you gist, that guy that you are building your world around can up and leave you ANY day. If he doesn't leave you outright, he can marry another woman (or women), have a litter of kids outside. If you are particularly unlucky he can slap you one day just to test the waters. The 'virtuous submission' with which you accept the slap is then likely to encourage him to go a bit further...till you have to start explaining how you fell down the stairs or walked right into that door.
I don't even wish these on you... I hope your marriage is sweet (those definitely do exist). However, as you enjoy your marriage please SHUT UP before fate takes your smug self and makes your life a sick joke.
Lots of fake ass respect to your married ass, Moi
i neve write here, but just have to...im married and i cant imagine how you feel. all i can say is that Jesus is always up to something. Put your trust in him. have confidence that His plans for you are to prosper you and the way events will turn around will shock u. its hard but try. also many single women will pretend and do anything to be married right now.. but we married people know that is is after the wedding the marriage starts...thats when the trials come...so bliv me if u didnt do anthing major to push him away, he will still have the same complaints with his current gf...
Anon at January 29, 2013 at 10:25 AM seems closer to the truth. Men think differently. A divorce has changed him. It is likely, that he is now a lot more attentive and more sensitive to the new woman in his life. He doesn't want to lose another woman. The 'other woman' in the equation is probably very receptive of this 'brand new man' and so things are working out for them. I am so sorry babes...shit really does happen. If you want him back, fight for him before he proposes to her...you have his kids and at the moment you have more of a life with him than she does. If you both had truly irreconcilable differences, be honest to yourself and try to stop letting him into your life more than is necessary for the children's sake. It won't be easy but I am sending lots of love and strength your way (Hugs)
You must be joking right???
The guy might be doing all these things just to make you feel this way (jealous, miserable and a total loser).....Don't give in to that> And let me ask you this: what value have you added to yourself since you left him? My dear, move on with your life and act as though you don't give a damn about his new found 'love'......Another thing is: how much value did you add to his life while you were with him? This new lady may (just may) have some values which you lack. By and large, move on and stop hurting yourself by keeping grudges
I have been through something similar. There are sometimes that divorce is just best for both of you and your children. It's good to maintain a cordial relationship but I will say here that you have made your self too available for him. You have made him see you as a friend and not an ex . I don't think he is telling you how he feels Bout the new lady to oppress you, he just sees you as a friend that he can tell his feelings.
4hrs of dating? maybe she forced d guy to marry her. they were meant to be frnds notin more.
Oh my goodness, laff don tear my belle open, u funny ooo, lol@ if u like do monkey style in bed., tears in my eyes from lafffter.
Pick up your bible and pray to God. One day, he will come back 4 u. He can't forget all those years in a hurry even if he's a beast. Quote me, he'll surely come back when his eyes are cleared. A friend of mine is currently dating a married man and I've warned her several times but she wouldn't listen. Now they are planning 2 get married. I pity her oo..cos i know the end of it won't b a funny tale. Trust me, sis, he'll be back for u. Much love dear. from mee..
Lol na today she know dat one, a beg her time done pass, she get four kids to take care of, maybe she no give d guy time self( 4 kids in 9 yrs ahhhh which time u come get four ur guys so) u were busy breast feeding instead ongoing down low
ONE READER JUST SAID THAT NOTHING A MAN DOES WILL SHOCK HER.WHY DO WOMEN ALWAYS CRY VICTIMS?THEY BELIEVE IT IS ALWAYS A MAN'S FAULT.WELL, THE WRITER ONLY GAVE US HER OWN SIDE OF THE STORY,BUT I BELIEVE THERE IS REASON FOR EVERYTHIN.LOVE BEGETS LOVE,RESPECT BEGETS RESPECT.DID SHE GIVE HER HUSBAND ENOUGH LOVE AND RESPECT?IT IS SURPRISING THAT MOST WOMEN ARE EXCITED ABOUT MARRIAGE,YET WHEN THEY GET MARRIED,THEY WONT BEHAVE,ONLY TO CRY OVER SPILT MILK AND GET FRUSTRATED WHEN DIVORCE COMES.THE OTHER DAY,A GROUP OF LADIES TOLD ME THAT IF THEIR HUSBANDS EXPECT THEM TO CONTRIBUTE FINANCIALLY TO THE HOME,THEY,THE HUSBANDS SHOULD ALSO SHARE 50-50 IN COOKING,CLEANING AND ANY OTHER HOUSEHOLD CHORES!THEY ALMOST LYNCHED ME FOR SUGGESTING THAT A MAN CAN ONLY HELP WHILE IT IS THE WOMAN'S PRIMARY RESPONSIBILITY DO HOUSEWORK.ATTITUDES LIKE THIS WOULD PUT ANY REAL MAN OFF A WIFE EVEN IF SHE IS A MULTI MILLIONAIRE.ALMOST EVERYDAY,I PRAY TO GOD,MAY I NEVER BE PUT IN A POSITION TO ASK MY WIFE FOR MONEY.
OF COURSE MEN ARE NO SAINTS BUT IF A HUSBAND IS CHEATING(AND WHO SAYS A WIFE DOES NOT CHEAT?)IT TAKES LOVE,SUBMISSION AND PRAYER,NOT OPPOSITION AND REBELLION TO WIN HIM BACK.THE READER SHOULD REFLECT WHERE SHE GOT IT WRONG SO AS TO SUCCEED IN HER FUTURE RELATIONSHIP.
ANDY
That is d truth, he is telling you all these things to make you jealous. Besides , even if it's true' good for him. Some men r like dat' u have endured with him for too long dat he has no value or respect for you. This is just 8 months, let d new thing scatter his brain, you stayed for yrs' let's see how far they can carry on. For me my advice is when u r done, cut off from him, after all u left bcos u couldn't take his problems anymore, even if he becomes a billionaire dat's his business. As long as he never loved or gave u dat respect. Don't forget to always remind him to send ur check for the upkeep of your innocent kids. I GENUINELY pray to God for you to send you a man dat would love u.
That yeye man never loved her, he married her for something. I feel sorry for him bcos if this woman was really nice to him, God will judge him.
Men can be soooo heartless i swear! Tufiakwa! Whatta hell was the need for him to flaunt all these details to his ex for??
My dear please move on and live ur life! If u have family close, leave the kids with them once in a while and go out with friends. Go on vacays with ur kids and enjoy life! Trust me, while living life, u will meet someone who will love u like u deserve (yes, even with ur kids). My aunt just got remarried to a medical doctor in Abuja and the man loves and spoils her like mad. Dont sit and wallow in this mess. If u feel ur body isnt up to par, get in shape...change ur wardrobe...dress-up everyday like u're hitting the runway. Ur ex is obviously an insensitive a-hole ...he doesn't deserve ur hurt or tears.
he probably didnt love you that much. it happens. people marry not because they r in love, then when they meet that 1 they love, it changes everything. sorry
It is not easy but all you can do is take your burdens to the Lord so He can guide and direct your steps. It is wonderful that you wanted a good relationship with your ex for the sake of your kids. But, from one divorced lady to another, I have released him to his women but I do maintain a cordial friendship for the sake of our children. You have done a wonderful thing by having a healthy relationship in order for the children to adjust well. Please try not to punish him by spoiling him in front of the kids. Just remain cordial with him and keep the emotional health of the children, a priority. May God help you IJN. As my pastor said, life is not fair and we must fight through prayer and fasting for what we deserve. Now, it may not mean that you may get him back, but God our father, will point you in the right direction. In the place where you will no longer be an outcast but where you truly belong. The spirit of rejection truly hurts but God says He will take care of us. I pray God's mercies for you and your children. Take heart.
Why is everybody here assuming that bcos you are married automatically you are in love? This is not always the case… bcos you are dating someone does not mean you are in love with them either..
Obviously this is all J’s fault he was never really in love with the mother of his children yet he got married. My mom always said something”it is always better for a man to love a woman way more than a woman loves a man” this equals a lasting relationship/marriage.
J brother man, you need to be there for your kids enjoy you new babe but please don’t rub it in the face of the mother of your children as you know its going to take her some time to heal and her heart is still fragile.
Hmmmmm,why do people automatically assume the wife didnt treat her hubby well..........thus him not treating her right. Abeg stop making excuses for the man.
Woman, u nid to move on like seriously. Also any woman dat changes a man's attitude to his kids, aint right oooo.
who is the boss now?
Straight to the point! What more is there to be said
Thats life! The heart doesnt choose who it 'loves that way'. At this point, who he loves and how he loves her, should not really be your problem.
9ja women & their wahala. Didn't you say hes your EX? Didn't you say you were friends even after the divorce? What is your business now how he chooses to love his girlfriend? When you choose to be all chummy with your ex-husband, then be prepare to listen to bullsh*t. Abeg, free J jo! He is living his life. You need to go and do same. In life, not everyone we marry is our true love or soul-mate. Sadly, that's just the way life and love go. If J was such a bad person, i doubt you would have been friends with him after your divorce. So, just keep things simple and accept, you both just aren't meant to be together for now.... who knows what life has in store next year or in 10years though?
My dear I feel your pain biko! guys can be so annoying. Jay i hope u read this post thank u!!!!!
it seems that a lot of Nigerians have candy for brains, going by the comments on this blog. Why would people automatically assume that the woman was to blame for the divorce? If she was such a bad person, do you think the man would even remain friends with her? Haba, some of you should use your brains jor
dat man is mad more reason you should never pity them just enjoy while it lasts.....dat guy has a Dumbskull & he wld b back trust me i knw der type....
Why is the woman crying over spilt milk? I'm even wondering if the 4 years of courtship wasn't enuff for the man to have known that he was with the wrong person or was the marriage based on a condition? My dear move on.... That is the best thing u can do for your self now.
The following is what you need to do for your mental health and that of your kids:
1. Stop being friends with your husband.
2. Deny him custody of the kids, take full responsibility. Don't worry! You'll be fine.
3. Relocate to a different place and change your number. Start life all over.
4. Make your children your motivation. Earn money and treat yourself and your kids with love.
5. Channel your anger and frustration to becoming a better person.
6. Appreciate life. Treat yourself and your kids to trips....Have fun.
Soon or later, this painful memory will all be a thing of the past. Be strong!
who ever is reading this testimony today should please celebrate with me and my family because it all started like a joke to some people and others said it was impossible. my name is Michael i live in Chicago i am happily married with two kids and a lovely wife something terrible happen to my family along the line, i lost my job and my wife packed out of my house because i was unable to take care of her and my kids at that particular time. i manage all through five years, no wife to support me to take care of the children and there come a faithful day that i will never forget in my life i met an old friend who i explain all my difficulties to, and he took me to a spell caster and and the name of the temple is called, DR OKORO, i was assure that everything will be fine and my wife will come back to me after the wonderful work of Dr Okorospelltemple, my wife came back to me and today i am one of the richest man in my country. i advice you if you have any problem email him with this email: dr.okorospelltemple01@gmail.com and you will have the best result. take things for granted and it will be take from you. i wish you all the best.
Contact Dr. OKORO on: dr.okorospelltemple01@gmail.com
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