I have seen and read about a lot of cheating husbands on your blog, a friend of mine even told me that she caught her husband cheating,confronted him and he beat her up. I am a woman and I feel very sorry for all those women who have been cheated and worse still, beaten by their cheating husbands. Initially, I said to myself that I won't get married becos most marriages (especially Nigerian/African marriages) are fulfilment of societal expectations of families and friends. The nigerian society expects every woman to be in a man's house, whether or not she finds happiness and peace in marriage is not their business. However ,I have decided that if I must marry and be happy in marriage, both husband and wife must have equal opportunities in d marriage. I have therefore found the solution to men's infidelity in marriage.The solution is OPEN MARRIAGES. Women should be allowed to cheat as well as men. Am not encouraging infidelity,I'm just saying since women have been given equal opportunities in areas of politics,business,education etc they should be given an equal playing field in marriage as well.
It is a fact that men's sexual urges are insatiable and they blame their cheating on their wives,however, women with high libido whose husbands don't satisfy should also be free to have sex with other men. Afterall the saying goes "what's good for d goose is also good for the gander" therefore,if its okay for men to cheat on their wives and still beat them,it won't be so bad if women do the same. In fact, the world would be a better place and married people would be a lot happier.
Why do men tell their wives they won't cheat at the beginning then few years after marriage,they eventually cheat ???? Well,Open marriage is not a license to cheat,it is only a caveat/warning to your spouse that "I may cheat and if I do cheat,don't be angry and feel free to cheat too" becos if u look at the issue critically, everyone is cheating with someone expressly or impliedly. Married men who do erotic texting (sexting)and chatting wit other people and exchange pictures, as well as those who sleep around are all cheaters.
And to those women who console themselves saying "all men cheat" thereby confining and subjecting themselves to a lifetime of avoidable marital slavery, FYI,marriage is a contract btw 2 people and if you're entering into the 'marriage contract' with the thought that d other party(men) would breach the terms and conditions of d marriage, then you should give the men as your own term of the marriage that if its okay for him to be with other women,then the wife can be with other men. Its like a lecturer giving his students an "open book exam" to prevent exam malpractice.
To put an end to the emotional drain,psychological torture and heartbreak drama most women are going thru, I say OPEN MARRIAGE is the solution. Infact, Nigerian law makers should pass a law on open marriages.
Yours Faithfully,
Signed
I AM THE VOICE OF ALL CHEATED WOMEN.
482 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 400 of 482 Newer› Newest»Lol.dt is not a solution it will only worsen it
a point made
I feel you dear but you are not married so it's easy to run your mouth from the outside. So during the periods of pregnancy and nursing which can run back to back for 6 years what happens? You still keep cheating? When your kids have a fever and you are there watching their temperature and he is out cheating what happens? When the kids are struggling with their grades and self esteem and need the parents and he is selfishly out there what happens? Sad as it is, when men go all out women stay behind not out of foolishness but out of strength to up hold the home and raise good children. So dear voice, there is more to marriage than good sex. And to the men, shame on all of you who go out there to mess around leaving that strong woman to uphold your home...may your days be cut short!!!!
Rubbish talk....there's nothing like'law on Open marriages'.cheating hs nothin to do wt gender or d sexes,its a personal thing.if u can't put a padlock right there, I suggest u go av a pee-drink n stop saying u r speaking for oda women.sory to say,bt u represent ur own selfish interests n desires
See this one.
Them tell you say women/wives no dey cheat? Even if more men cheat, I can tell you for a fact that a whole lot of married women also cheat. Gerrarahia with your myopic and dumb suggestion abeg
She said all...Gbam!!! I agree with her o
Cheating on sum1 dat cheated on u can never be the solution. It takes divine understanding to comprehend d reason men/women cheat.
i will like to blame married women for their spouse cheating on them.
at first before marriage they dress to kill, u as their fiance will be so happy to hang out with them, nice colon, nice makeups, cool undies. and many more. but shortly after their vows they relax and stop doing all those things the guy love in saw in her. they will start wearing my grandmas panties, how will a happening guy derive plesure in their love making. pls parkwell with ur solution . first advice ur fellow women. shikenna
Well said for those that would ve the courage to but to my future husband don't bother u can only cheat after ensuring u satisfy me and meet all my needs daily and dat of d kids wen we ve them.
Well said for those that would ve the courage to but to my future husband don't bother u can only cheat after ensuring u satisfy me and meet all my needs daily and dat of d kids wen we ve them.
Well said! I share the same ideology with you! Cheat on me, I will definitely cheat back on you...it's given!
Madam there is no need for a law, Nigerian women are also cheating on their husbands, it is just that the women are very good at hiding it . If the men will pay more attention they will catch their wives trust me. ( many are doing it ) CHEATING IS WRONG. Do you want to know what the men will find if they decide to do DNA for their children???!!!…Kikikikiki…I DEY LAUGH O. ( in OBJ voice )
Shoro leleyi sha?
OSHEEEEYYYYYY, WOMEN AFF PARA.... I SUPPORT DIS, I'LL CHEAT ON MY HUSBAND IF I EVER CATCH HIM CHEATING AND I'LL RUB IT ON HIM.
IF I CAN STAY FAITHFUL IN THE MARRIAGE, HE SHOULD TOO.
OSHEEEEYYYYYY, WOMEN AFF PARA.... I SUPPORT DIS, I'LL CHEAT ON MY HUSBAND IF I EVER CATCH HIM CHEATING AND I'LL RUB IT ON HIM.
IF I CAN STAY FAITHFUL IN THE MARRIAGE, HE SHOULD TOO.
Idiot if your mother cheated on your father to inspire this dumb post, keep it to yourself
Yessss!!!
I swear I love this woman,av also been considering cheating on my man but we've talked about his behaviour and cheating habit and he has promised to change bt if he continues then I'll be left with no oda choice bt to also cheat which I already told him.
Quite a sad devilish voice born out of a frustrated and fallacious logic.
The simple answer to cheating is that nobody male or female should have sex outside marriage. That's how God intended it to be.
As long as there will be girls or women who are ready to open their legs for half-men who are not their husbands, then the cheating men will continue their lustful tryst.
Women honour yourselves and close your legs to whoever is not your husband (boyfriends inclusive).
By the time the men have nobody to sleep with but their wives, infidelity will simply reduce. More boyfriends will quickly update their status to husbands thereby ending old spinsterhood. And everybody will be happy.
That was how God meant it to be.
NO WONDER YOU ARE STILL A SPINSTER!!! HEHEHEHEHEEH
SAFI BOY DON YARN!!!
Is she serious? My friend Gerrarahere men shit.... Gerrarahere for real.. You know wha i'm saying...
ode!
Agreed! 100%. Im already practicing this open marriage theory though. Just that hubby doesn't know. He's sleeping around with runs girls and I'm steadily hooking up with my ex for great satisfying sex, companionship and care that I lack from him. I don't even nag him about his whereabouts any longer. Everyone is happy.
Curse me out if you like. To each his own.
Another example of 'ode' talk
Agreed! 100%. Im already practicing this open marriage theory though. Just that hubby doesn't know. He's sleeping around with runs girls and I'm steadily hooking up with my ex for great satisfying sex, companionship and care that I lack from him. I don't even nag him about his whereabouts any longer. Everyone is happy.
Curse me out if you like. To each his own.
#yawns
If dis can happen I believe all the cheating men will come 2 dia senses
In my opinion do not get married at all if you will cheat. I believe that oursociety makes it seem as though marriage is a muct however it is just for formality. I rather remain unmarried have kids, have a good relationship with the fathers and live life. But todays society will frown at it but lets face fact. Isnt it the best way to aviod divorce or unhappy marriage because if you do not feel tied down by "MARRIAGE' wouldnt life be alot easier. JUST A THOUGHT
I totally disagree with you madam,open marriage gives room for so many mishaps.so what about your kids,what example are you setting for them?they look up to you.
Clearly U're under the influence of a terrible concoction or U re just deranged. Ur advice is from the pit of hell and therefore should be disregarded entirely by sane people. I don't support cheating neither can U authoritative say that all married men cheat on their wife. Sick adviser and am sure nobody solicited for ur ridiculous advice. U go ahead n find a man that ll agree to ur rubbish idea
Ubanagum
DONT TEACH the few good girls bad things please ,my girlfriend is an ardent reader of LIB and she made me addicted to it too, don't want her seeing these nonsense here.
Solutions:
#1 the solution is to develop good friendship with your man , marry your friend or make your husband your best friend.
#2 Play with him , be his peace
#3 Some girls have too much policies ,~ I don't do this or I don't do that , I don't like this or I don't like that , know his likes and try a little to accommodate some fun play, don't be too up tight, your home don't need what you read on a book or your degrees , job , background or who you think you are, it just needs you , smile , plain and happy
#4 . Cultivate the habit to be happy always
#5 . STOP loving at what you see online and judge your man or have expectations of him , be a reality
#6 . be sexy , playful , stylish and hot , be romantic
#7. go on trips together, road trip hotels lodging once in a while ,
#8. good sex
#9. good food
#10. pray together always .
~~~~note why men cheat
the major reason men cheat is because they either have a typical boring life and their wife is causing them to be boring since she is already a wife and feels no need to go some miles to be in tune with life.
while some women are not happy with their life after looking at friends and marriages so they bring attitude on their man and their home and one ex lover or friend becomes a listening ear and gives him some peace then he will cheat and when it becomes a habit he will cheat for no reason because he might not be interested in your repentance.
another reason men cheat is because they just are possessed others cheat because they have a boring partner and sex is possibly boring as well as their communication.
be happy , play ,listen , learn , be stylish , be updated , be peaceful , communicate
the buttomline I
OMG!!! So you want to tell me women do not cheat in the first place.. Abeg Joor stop giving irrelevant advice, like women do not cheat in the first place.
STD central.
it's all fun and games till someone gets hurt. Use your head nau... two wrongs don't make a right. Divorce is better, cus you'll drag too many people into your messed up, twisted situation. and the bible allows divorce on the grounds of infidelity. Open marriage?! Puleeeze! don't get married, just dey play the field dey go!
for real tho, I think people should open their eyes before marrying, not after the wedding day...there are happy marriages out there, watch, ask and learn! it requires a lot of work to keep a marriage intact! let every man and woman work on their marriage... Imagine having kids in your "Open Relationship " you've ruined those innocent kids by your example before they even got a chance.
Werey.....abeg take several seats jare....adding insult upon injury again!
Pls stay off marriage cos u sound incapable of staying faithful in marriage. We all hear about men cheating becos it's hard for men to hide their characters but the truth is women equally cheat as men or worse. It's just d case of a dog and the Cat.
Okay, ur madness is noted
DONT TEACH the few good girls bad things please ,my girlfriend is an ardent reader of LIB and she made me addicted to it too, don't want her seeing these nonsense here.
Solutions:
#1 the solution is to develop good friendship with your man , marry your friend or make your husband your best friend.
#2 Play with him , be his peace
#3 Some girls have too much policies ,~ I don't do this or I don't do that , I don't like this or I don't like that , know his likes and try a little to accommodate some fun play, don't be too up tight, your home don't need what you read on a book or your degrees , job , background or who you think you are, it just needs you , smile , plain and happy
#4 . Cultivate the habit to be happy always
#5 . STOP comparing ur life with what you see online and dont judge your man or have expectations of him , be a reality
#6 . be sexy , playful , stylish and hot , be romantic
#7. go on trips together, road trip hotels lodging once in a while ,
#8. good sex
#9. good food
#10. pray together always .
~~~~note why men cheat
the major reason men cheat is because they either have a typical boring life and their wife is causing them to be boring since she is already a wife and feels no need to go some miles to be in tune with life.
while some women are not happy with their life after looking at friends and marriages so they bring attitude on their man and their home and one ex lover or friend becomes a listening ear and gives him some peace then he will cheat and when it becomes a habit he will cheat for no reason because he might not be interested in your repentance.
another reason men cheat is because they just are possessed others cheat because they have a boring partner and sex is possibly boring as well as their communication.
be happy , play ,listen , learn , be stylish , be updated , be peaceful , communicate
the buttomline is PRAY, PLAY AND COMMUNICATE
this is a rubbish write up...
correct!!! ijiya nwanne!
Solution for cheated men Nko?
Hahahahah intrestin
I love this
i am just speechless on this bcz i cant understand y a man will take an oat before God and man to be faithful and fail. when u say open marriage should be encouraged that means u r giving room to adultery.
Stop passing your personal frustration to decent women. Who told you that a cheating husband or wife is happier than non cheating ones? Cheating is a symptom of different marital problems none of which you attempted to solve.
ije enu! see life o, na sidon look i dey
No.
I honestly believe that Men should own and trademark the Monopoly of Cheating.
Z's suffering from serious H O, an aftermath of a toxic weekend fueled by drinking orgies.
chai i read ma finish . For which nigeria
oya opponent over to u
chai i read ma finish . For which nigeria
oya opponent over to u
I like your idea...but it may not be a permanent solution. It may help women feel better and complain less since both parties are doing the same but their might just be a lot more damage involved. Just saying. Cheating is just one of the issues in marriage. Many more like male ego and emotional manipulation is the game changer for me. This usually results in career death and financial crises among women. It is legendary among Nigerian men. That has been my experience oh. I am married.
Not bad tho
Gud talk
Only promiscuous and irresponsible women will succumb to this silly solution. You should pray that God will give you a faithful husband,not praying to cheat on your husband. Stop educating the young girls wrongly.
Balderdash!
You are nothing but a bloody idiot with African-American mentality. What do you hope to gain from open marriage?
Woman wah dey talk like this set na him dey cry pass when she marry and the man go outside. She fit do natin.
Its obvious u r not a christian.
Women should try their best to be financially independent, that way, they will have means to support themselves if they decide to leave the marriage. Sleeping with different men is not a solution and will not bring peace and happiness in your marriage. A lot of women endure all these shit because they are trapped and sees no way out. How can someone continue to be happy in such a relationship where you are being physically and emotionally abused. If you choose to stay just be ready to bear whatever comes out of it and be strong and prayerful otherwise leaving and ignoring whatever anybody says should be your best answer.
This write up, while seeming thought provoked turns out to be one of the silliest pieces I have read in a while.
Open marriage the solution to cheating? thats like saying everybody cheats (which isn't the case) so lets just destroy marriage as it is.
Firstly, if your idea of marriage is 'only' a contract/sentence to be with one person then maybe you have a point as they cheat I cheat definitely levels the playing field.
However, If cheating is wrong and indeed a sickness then there is no way that making yourself sick to put a check on a sick person is a solution...think about it.
due to mixed beliefs, I am careful not to come from a 'religious' viewpoint on this matter because really I don't have to.
The thing is some people are decent and some are not. Note however that the extent to which people are tempted vary, but more importantly the resolve to overcome this temptation varies even more (temptation here is used to simply describe the urge/suggestion to cheat).
If you are decent and you cheat because you were cheated on. trust me it doesn't make you feel any better...in fact it can just complicate things because by cheating, for whatever reason, you contribute to the problem and end up seeing yourself as 'him'
Also, by design, we are selfish. Trust me, you will eventually feel betrayed when the person you are cheating with is cheating on your illicit relationship with someone else. If you doubt me ask any cheat.
In conclusion, please consider this analogy;
if I live in a society where stealing is rampant and I decide to steal because I was robbed blah blah blah... if you apply that rule to the entire society It will surely collapse. What you rather want to do is find a way to isolate and deal with the thieves in order to restore some sanity
My therapy therefore is simple. If a man does not value your relationship and decides to cheat, forgive as much as you can otherwise leave him.
if he is not decent enough to respect your relationship then he definitely is not the person you want to model your standards after.
Also,
On marriage being a contract, this should be the exit clause. In the event where a man separates from his spouse because of his infidelity, he should be under compulsion to continually provide for her needs or forfeit half of his estate to her as settlement for time wasted in a futile relationship. I believe this might help those who should naturally have the resolve to not cheat but do it anyway due to lack of consequence.
Regards
I actually think women already cheat as much as men do, only they don't broadcast their exploits as much as men. All these young chicks with their aristos, Baba alayes, Baba alaanus, sugar uncles and sugar boys suddenly become saints after they marry abi? Naa. I don't think so. Heard several stories and can experientally substantiate the stories that several married women always try to get with their old flames. People refuse of course cos we feel it's taboo to do married women. Longshort story... We already practise some form of 'open marriages'. Women just keep it much more coded than men.
This really make sense to me..
U r just 1 of the women those men have beaten to be a living dead!!! U want to live civilised in an uncivilised society..... stop pretending madam!!! We r in Africa, if u want to live as u have said,u can as well change urself like jenny did
This is a msg from the pit of hell. Women who are being cheated on should continue to pray for their husbands. The person who wrote this epistle forgot to mention what will happen to children of couples involved in infidelity.
There is nothing like a scorned woman !
Only a woman who is a hoe sleeps around cos ur husband cheats doesn't mean u shld dere are oda ways around it kapish
if open marriage is a solution then people shouldn't marry in the first place. i understand how women feel when their husbands cheat on them but the truth of the matter is that two wrongs cant make a right. Alot of women have made the mistake of cheating because their husbands cheat. in most cases they disolve the marriage. why must you cheat because your husband is cheating. so if the husband commits murder, the wife too should commit murder.please note, it's not all men that cheat but if you happen to be in a relationship that your husband cheats and you love him and still want to be in the relationship. I would advice you find out what the problem is and also pray for him. If you go into a marriage with the mind set of equality, most times the marriage wont last. The problem is the society. even if your husband does not want to cheat, the fact that he is a married man, alot of women will throw themselves at him. I agree women also go through that. alot of guys are attracted to married women but you see the society we live in does not accept women who cheat. other societies or countries might be okay with women who revenge (cheat). When you are in Rome, act like the Romans. Women are stronger than men. i am a man and i have alot of respect for women. There is always a head and the man is the head when they are newly married but years down the line the woman assumes the role of the head. Thats when the guy cheats, lies and does everything wrong but the woman who has assumed the role of the head, Tackles the problem and not revenge because she values her marriage. I would say Tackle the problem and not revenge. But never let him lay his hands on you. Women should not see themselves as being weak doing the right thing and trying to make the marriage work but they should see themselves as the head, Mother, leader who is taking care of a man who has become a kid in a just a few years. I feel if ladies handle the situation as the head and mother they would be able to change that childish behaviour in their husbands. It might not be immediate but that change will come. When that change comes, he becomes the head again and you have to respect him.If not???(look out for my next comment. Thats another topic entirely. Stage two where a woman gets to and what needs to be done when the husband becomes a man again and to avoid conflict. Remember their cant be two heads in a house. Dont let anybody push you into revenge i.e cheating on your husband because he cheated on you. That person might not necessarily have your best interest at heart.It's your marriage and happiness. i can go on and on but i have to stop now. It's only meant to be a comment.
Lolz dis woman de vex ooooooo pls men stop cheating be faithful
Well two wrongs don't make a right....but damn it who cares!!!
Supported! Gbam!
Please find ur self a descent man and marry.
Hmmm
The most meaningless piece I have read by an individual that lacks direction in thinking and writing. You just contradicted yourself when you said "I'm not encouraging cheating...", please if you so decide to be a failure in marriage, don't spread the mental virus, you sure don't correct a wrong with a wrong. By so doing we all become like animals in the zoo, thank you! #Joshe
my dear,two wrongs can never make a right. I expect you to suggest solutions to I infidelity problem on the part of the male folks instead of encouraging vengeance. all sinners(cheaters) shall go to hell and God will not ask you the reason you cheat,so cheating becos your spouse is cheating will only mean that both of you will go to hell fire. gbam.
Lame article!
Lame article!
She doesn't knw wht she's sayin.
For your mind, abi?
if this is allowed, then get ready for the spread of diseases your fore fathers never knew about. i pity this lady. anyway, it not her fault, all in the name of equal rights.
I support open marriage oooooooooo
Heeeeeeeeeey
Some men wud rather die than do open marriage!
Hahahahahahah,thats y. Women need to be as sleek as a cat.
Lol.... very funny. I fink it sld b oda way round, as much as women sldnt cheat, men sldnt also. Bt it dosent work by rules or laws tho. Its extremely personal.
My job gives me. Space,time and opportunity to cheat on my husband. Hahahahaa he's cheating too, mine is too too coded, hahahah he will swear dat I'm good wife whereas, im having my fun too n getting paid for it...all na. salary. Hahahaha
Menr dogs, they poop everywhere, women are cats,onlly foolish women are caught.
Lol.... very funny. I fink it sld b oda way round, as much as women sldnt cheat, men sldnt also. Bt it dosent work by rules or laws tho. Its extremely personal.
Story!
You try!!!!! I wonder where in your bible or quran all this are written.
You're clearly dumb....
Two wrongs can not make a right,cheating is a No No for me
Well said
Miss or Mrs Writer Kedu. I agree to your idea, but wait, this conditions must first be met - 1, When your father returns my bride price and you then go pay yours over my head to my parents, 2, When I and the kids begin to bear your name and answer your last name, and 3, when you begin to pay the bills for me and the kids then you can go around opening your pussy for Tom, Dick and Harry, but not a minute before then.. kachifo!
Jerry FROM Liverpool
Funny
Waiting for people to comment
Dumbest article I have read in ages. The laws on marriage that you should follow are the ones passed down to us by the originator, God. This foolish philosophy of yours will only end in heartache. That one person disobeys God's laws on marriage doesn't absolve you from the responsibility to obey. He will hold all of us to account one day. And you had better have something better to say than "I cheated because my husband cheats".
Hmmm..im a victim of that... he cheated just few months after our wedding and i was pregnant then...he was caught...and he promised to change...with the mind that he has, just recently caught him wit d same girl.... changed her name and all.. she even used to like our family picture on instagram.. but ladies why...you know yourself
this cant solve it, as archaic as this sounds i think blood convenant is the final answer, cheat and u dead. i dunno sha...
Voice of cheating women. You are a gifted writer, therefore chanel your energy to writing positively. First, bible's principles on marriage should be respected. Who is the head of a family if you are seeking equality btw man/woman? It is this same equality that has turned the world upside down. Women no longer give attention to their kids thereby leaving them at the mercy of internet and television where they learn negatively. A woman is designated with the responsibility of making a beautiful home. There is no home without the beauty of kids, husband etc. If a home is peaceful, there is no need husbands to stay out unnecessarily. On the other hand, I need you to differentiate between greed and insatiability among men. If a man has a wife who is always decent and maintains her her beauty and still cheats, he is greedy. If a man does not see her wife attractive and sees no beauty in the wife again the man wants to be satisfied. This happens when a woman no longer care for herself and sees herself as a house property to be used when needed. For example. I am married, i have 3 kids and my wife is always attractive. She works at home. She is sexually very active. I hardly think of sex outside my marriage because i always want to satisfy my wife vice versa. Some women out there doesn't know how to satisfy a man and this makes their husband run outside. Men are like boys they go with you if you havr the necessary gadgets. @amfestus
She is not married yet so she can't say. When she is married she will realise that what is attainable is way different.
Okay. I concur.
well, your opinion is very good but don't you think it will cause a lot of troubles for women if they adopted this your position?
My reasons:
1) This might lead to a broken home and in this situation, note that women suffer it (broken home) most and if children are involved they are open to a kind of what might be an endless suffering.
2) Since it is reasonable ( to some extent) for a man to marry two or more wives, and not reasonable for a woman to claim to be engaged in marriage with more than one husband at a time, (most especially in African tradition), I think the lady in question is prone to retribution or blame if d situation u suggested here backfires and result to trouble.
For me, d only way out is for women to take to their fates or if as u suggested, it could be passed into law and be made effective that cheating men would be punished in so so so and so way. Bt hu will bring that up in our parliament since most of the pple there are involved in such acts? (I am curious)
Rethink about your comment. Men can marry more than one wife and have concubines not only in Africa/Nigeria. Pls read history very well
well, your opinion is very good but don't you think it will cause a lot of troubles for women if they adopted this your position?
My reasons:
1) This might lead to a broken home and in this situation, note that women suffer it (broken home) most and if children are involved they are open to a kind of what might be an endless suffering.
2) Since it is reasonable ( to some extent) for a man to marry two or more wives, and not reasonable for a woman to claim to be engaged in marriage with more than one husband at a time, (most especially in African tradition), I think the lady in question is prone to retribution or blame if d situation u suggested here backfires and result to trouble.
For me, d only way out is for women to take to their fates or if as u suggested, it could be passed into law and be made effective that cheating men would be punished in so so so and so way. Bt hu will bring that up in our parliament since most of the pple there are involved in such acts? (I am curious)
I just don't understand why people who are not married/in a relationship or who have no clue whatsoever have many advice to give. I already "from what you said" know ur not married so i advice you wait until you do and stay minimum of 3years before you can be eligible to advice/be a voice. Am also sure ur under 20's thats y ur thinking with ur heart not ur head. Am a married man and i'v not cheated on my wife, "not that i'v not been tempted to" but something always happen and i end up not doing it. There is no reason whatsoever to cheat but until ur married u'l understand better what brings one to that point. No hard feelings but keep ur advice till then. . . Shalom!
I actually agree with her...open marriage !
Supported. Even though I believe a good woman can change a bad man.
Interesting perspective. To say the least.
Two wrongs can never make a right. Lets not forget the man and the woman aren't the only party involved in marriage. What happens to the children when things become complicated. Open marriage or encouraging infidelity is a taboo, a dent in covenant made in the presence of man and God. The consequences, hmmmmmmmm i must advice against it. Prayers, romance/love, foreplay should be introduced to spice up the relationship.
When a man hits a woman after getting confrontation due to his cheating habit, that woman should divorce his sorry ass.
#groans! I actually taught she was going to make sense....dis I just read that balderdash?? So if despite the open marriage he still cheats, which I know most men will, so the best way for the lady to solve it is to cheat too??
Basically what's madam is saying is if you can't beat them, join them and even legalize the act therefore it's no longer becomes cheating, that's like banning marriage because single ladies are feeling bad. The best things that can be done for the African woman is for her rights be protected by law, for the law to make it that if the husband is caught cheating or beating on his wife, the divorce process should be straight forward and that the woman should be given the house, at least one of the cars etc while the husband be made to pay a monthly stipend till she remarried and child support till the children are adults
the writer of this article no well....
tlolu
Thanks a lot for Ur thought Bcos it wuld definately make men sit up and stop breachin d contract of marriage once dey knw how detrimental it wuld be as their wife wuld breach also. A man can't stand a cheating wife but wuld want his wife to bear wif him as a cheating husband, dis nonsense has gat to stop.
the men will come after you. lol
The woman who wrote this cannot do all she wrote.
Busy Fingers.
She's totally right. Open marriage or no marriage. Ladies have a little respect for yourself.
I PITY YOU DEAR AUTHOR, COZ THE SEX ORGANS ARE NOT BUILT THE SAME AS SUCH, YOUR VJ WILL BE SO EXPANDED BY THE TIME YOU ARE DONE FUCKING ALL THE MEN YOU WANT TO A LARGE YAM POUNDING PISTLE WILL NOT FIT IN IT BETTER YET, YOU MAY END UP WEARING ADULT DIAPERS AT THE END OF YOUR SEXING CAREER OR SEXCAPED, MEN OWN THE PLANET-WORD!!!
I absolutely think whoever wrote this isn't serious!!!! And probably not a born again Christian. We all know adultery is a Sin against God and even against your own body. It's bad enough that men cheat, so women too should go ahead and sleep with other men while they we are married because our husband's cheat... I. Totally disagree... I do not get the moral of her advice.. we are supposed to be vitreous women. And asides being a Christian, it doesn't sound nor feel right to be sleeping with other men cos your husband cheats, open marriage doesn't make sense!! And we clearly know that men can sleep with other women without any emotional attachment but it doesn't work for women because we are naturally emotional.
i may get bashing for this, but i totally concur, have an open marriage without pretense of fidelity, that way he cheats she doesn't find out and wants to kill herself. i mean really, its not fair, you promise(d) her heaven and earth and not to hurt her, you do what hurts her by cheating, you don't slip into some woman's P u s S y!!! so i believe it should be addressed, honey c, let have an open marriage, but we would always have a center or know when to draw the line. i am SICK and TIRED of the long suffering African woman/wife!!! men the same way you are scouting for some young blood is the same way some guy is eyeing your woman!!! WHAT THE FUDGE IS WRONG WITH YOU GUYS AND STAYING LOYAL!!!! WHAT DNA ARE YOU ENCRYPTED WITH THAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO STEP OUT AND SHE DOESN'T BECAUSE SHE IS FEMALE??? what is the trill in chasing a woman not even chasing (to d women who have made themselves cheap) and then sleeping with her then you get up? then what!!! it makes you feel accomplished? that tells of the quality of man you are, WEAK! UNACCOMPLISHED! GOALLESS! M not bitter or been burned, in a SAFE relationship, emphasis on safe, if he cheats, thats a bullet doged because am well aware of the quality of Female(with shortcomings obviously) i am. i just am tired of hearing so much about broken marriages and homes and cheating men n women( despite d efforts d women make to make herself and her man happy). ENOUGH already!!! or you stay on your own and don't get married. simple.
I second!
Dear LIB reader
open marriage means equal opportunities and equal opportunities means equal responsibility. so men and women should provide equal money for the house, for the car or cars, the kids school fees, feeding, vacation money, designer clothes, bags etc. if women are ready to provide equal money for these things then they deserve to have equal treatment in marriage. In some families that have women as the bread winners, the women do the cheating and men suck it up.
Hmmmm.... nice thinking!...
Really, dumb stuff
Don't agree one bit with you #Solution# Get bornagin, stay bornagain, Love God & live life the GOD WAY. then such issues don't exist around you, being faithful just flows naturally with you. It becomes YOU! #yourlifestyle# This has worked, is still working & will continue to work. Am a living testimony! & my friends are too! #Jointheclub#
I THOUGHT THIS WAS ANOTHER GOOD SOLUTION FROM SOMEONE WITH A HEAD ON HER SHOULDER, I DIDN'T KNOW IT'S ANOTHER FOOLISH ADVISE FROM A NOVICE. IN AMERICA AND EUROPE WHERE THEY DO IT, HAS IT STOPPED INFIDELITY... THERE ARE DIFFERENT SOLUTION FOR DIFFERENT COUPLES BECAUSE THERE DIFFERENT INDIVIDUALS WITH DIFFERENT NEEDS FOR EACH ONE. BUT THE ONE THAT NEVER FAILS IS TO GO TO GOD AND ENSURE THAT YOU RETURN TO YOUR FIRST LOVE.
If i wasn't a christian and believed in the institution of marriage, i will totally agree with the writer. An open marriage will be a caveat in that if one party cheats, the other shouldn't feel bad and is also allowed to cheat. This way everyone knows what they are signing up for.
But then praying hard and asking God to help you choose the right person is the only way. Don't pick someone because of money, fame or looks.
Lol...I'm coming back to read comments. I know she would receive serious bashing!
#TeamBlessed#
COOL.
Thank you! Beautifully written! I'm tired of those that say it's ok for a man to cheat thus the wife should accept it all with open arms. Since we women have decided to fight for equal rights on all sorts for decades (including the right to wear jeans lol), we should fight for this right as well. Please no ignorant LIBER comments
Two wrongs don't make a right young lady... Swerve!!!! Ju
Two wrongs don't make a right young lady... Swerve!!!!
Nonsense i see a lady looking for an opportunity to cheat when married,useless solution you have
This young lady does not speak for all women, and contrary to most thoughts,i do believe it is possible to have a marriage without infidelity. She is encouraging adultery and is basing it on equal rights,thats just sad. You should remember that two wrongs don't make a right, so instead of pronouncing open marriages (adultery) as a solution to the problem, I would prefer you encourage ladies to go on their knees and pray to God for their husbands and ask God for wisdom to know what to do nd what not to do and also for grace.
Westernization things... Una won remove the sacredness from marriage completely... FYI, it is not only the men that cheat in marriage it goes both ways... So please come up with a very good solution n not something obscene.... Open marriage?? Smh
Hmmmmm just speechless for now.
Hahaha! Good one girl!
http://www.dobzifingers.com/?m=1
Dis girl must be a runs girl,u don dey fuck people husband nd u are afraid dat karma will visit u, ma dear de truth is dat it will definitely visit u nd if u decide to cheat u go back to ur papa house!.
Bastards go full everywhere..bad thing
yoruba's would say ori bibe ko logun ori fifo,in English head cutting is not the solution to headache! So I don't support her
Please young ladies or women, don't listen to this woman because you will end up loosing your family. If you ever marry a cheating man, don't fight him,make him realize your aware he's cheating, put him in prayers and trust me one day, he will stop those acts. Take it or leave it, you can never have same right as a man, a man is a head and should be respected no matter what, i am not saying they have the right to act stupidly but they will always be men that is why you need a God fearing man. Apply wisdom!
Please young ladies or women, don't listen to this woman because you will end up loosing your family. If you ever marry a cheating man, don't fight him,make him realize your aware he's cheating, put him in prayers and trust me one day, he will stop those acts. Take it or leave it, you can never have same right as a man, a man is a head and should be respected no matter what, i am not saying they have the right to act stupidly but they will always be men that is why you need a God fearing man. Apply wisdom!
rubbish! for her mind now,she get sense
Biblically it is wrong
Gbam!
She is funny
But God won't ask u if u wia cheated on 1st b4 u joined de chorus
Pls read ur bible & meditate alwaz
Stop leading souls 2 hell fire wit dis kinda write up cos u wil answer 4 it on de last day
#oneandonlynwa@gmail.com#
I don't wanna be so mean or cocky but if I shud see the woman who wrote dis letter I will give her 5 hot slaps to restructure her medula oblongata wtf since when did 2wrongs make a right smh, woman there's no justification for cheating in marriage either from both couple/spouse involved so stfu u ain't got any point
U are high I guess.
Women are more likely to cheat than men these days. In fact, you certainly cannot understand why some people put up with cheating spouse until you're married. Perhaps this is why you are not married as clearly represented in your article. Get yourself a husband because it's better experienced than imagined!!!
gan gan...this one na wa ooo.This would be difficult to achieve because of our tradition / religious reason but however .just thinking about this issue ,most women i have spoken to after a cheating scandal with their partners says" i wish i could do this to him so he knows how i feel. They wish they can give the men a taste of their own medicine '.
Some women are lucky they can move on i.e. if single but who knows the next man they meet. Makes me wonder ''Are all men the same'' How many heartbreak and cheating boyfriends can a woman deal with. They get very emotionally drained and detached and this affects their next relationship " can i trust him" Thats all a woman who has experienced cheating thinks about in her new Man.
If you are unlucky enough to be married ,this is the worst especially if you have kids already. The woman hates her marriage,her man,life, she goes thru depression,psychosis ....i could go on and on. Her relationship with her kids suffer.mummy is not happy to play with them, take them out .if only men could understand that its very dangerous living with a scorned woman.She could end you with a blink of an eye.
Our men need to change
I hope this gets posted cos I have been tryna sign up since and put comments but nothing. I hear u dear but truth is it won't work. Why is that? Just like friends with benefits, someone will get jealous and something horrible will happen. Do u really think u will both be smiling and happy cheating on each other? Even whites that do it will tell u. U both have to be a pro before that can work and trust me even @that, it does not work. And we end up being the ones hurt cos we fall in love completely and can't stand someone eyeing our man. What happens if he falls in love with another person? What happens if u fall in love with another person. The lines get blurred for both. There is no solution to a cheating spouse. U either leave him or ignore him. I won't date talk of marry a cheating fooool!!!!
HARLOT, UNAFRICAN, RUBBISH
May God help your mind. It is the word of God that the man shall leave his father and mother and the woman the same and that they shall become one flesh. God instituted marriage and not the 'African society'. There are also so many women that cheat on their husbands even when the men are gentle and don't cheat. Don't allow your mind corrupt that of others just because you might be pained you are not married. Jesus said the only time we are allowed to remarry is based on infidelity or death, so if your spouse is cheating then you should think about praying first and if no solution then maybe divorce. Please don't corrupt the minds of the faithful ones out there. With this your mindset, you might have been cheating and will even cheat on a man that doesn't cheat on you. After a while you'll find out that you have no joy and you'll begin to pray, cry and crave for a man you can call your own. It just might be too late because none will trust you.
It doesn't make sense to me
Amazing!!! Some stupid married men don't even satisfy their **hot** wives but they have stamina to cheat and carry ugly hoars!! I support that married women in such positions should cheat away **hehehehehehehh**
Open marriage is a very good idea, (minus the existence of STDs), except that ideally marriage is not a contract between two people but a COVENANT between the couple and God, who instituted marriage.
Another solution can be for partners to try to remain emotionally connected to each other so that they will not begin to entertain feelings for outsiders to their unions.
Yeye dey smell*ish*
You yourself can CHEAT. Pls don't encourage or advice any other woman. As Africans we are different from the rest, so stick to what is yours. Stop all this copy wrong. Women to cheat or not in marriage won't change these already rotten world. So pls keep this view to yourself maybe to your siblings too. Every marriage should choose what works for them.
I fully understand what you mean but two wrongs don't make a right
Great. Check out how bunkerers tow fuel filled bags inside a canal and sell at roadsides at www.naijacarlovers.blogspot.com.
Nice one, I like this. I believe that if a man should disrespect his marriage to the extent of cheating, then the wife should lose all love and respect for him and cheat also. Marriage is between two people and if a man decided to bring in a third party by cheating then he has chose to ruin his marriage (aka open up doors for divorce and cheating on the part of his wife ). Men cheat coz they know their wife won't cheat back and won't divorce them. If a man knows in his heart that the threat of cheating back and divorcing him isn't an empty threat, trust me that man won't mess up his marriage. The truth is no man wants a divorce especially after having kids, men could die rather than starting all over again after building a family. It's time for us to call evil by its name and for women to be strong and know that divorce isn't a crime, if he ain't respecting ur marriage thereby making u unhappy , divorce him. Good women are hard to come by and those men know it, but they cheat coz they know that these women won't leave. Leave when he cheats and u will realize that men are faithful by nature, that's why most married white men don't cheat coz they know their wives will head out to divorce court without warning. And that's why most Nigerian men abroad are scared to marry white , they go back to naija to marry coz they know a naija wife will stay in a cheating and unhappy marriage and will prefer to die in in , while making false excuse that she is in the marriage for her kids and will focus on her kids.
Dear Married Woman. U better ignore the voice of this so called married woman and wish well on ur home. I am 90 per ent sure this woman does not operate an open marriage. Let her lead u astray o!!!
An open marriage is definitely not an option
Lol! Weyaf feksed!!
CAN U REMEMBER THAT IN THE BEGINING GOD CREATED MAN AND LATER REASONED THAT ITS NOT RIGHT THAT A MAN SHOLD BE ALONE THEREFORE PROVIDED HIM A PARTHNER WOMAN,HOLDING THIS MANTLE AS A MAN,MEN AS A PEOPLE,NATION,WORLD ARE POLYGAMUS BY NATURE,AND AS THAT HAVE THE RIGHT TO CHEAT,AND AS AFRICANS THAT WE ARE,WOMAN ARE PLACED ON HIGH ESTEEM,WHEN BEIGN MARRIED,IF SHE IS FOUND CHEATING ON THE MAN,ITS BYE BYE ISSUE..........SO WHY LET YOUR HUSBAND GO LOOK FOR ANOTHER WOMAN,AND STILL MAKE HIMSELF HAPPY WHILE YOU THE WOMAN GO ABOUT LOOKING FRO ANOTHER MAN WHILE YOU ARE ALREADY AFTER ONE OR TWO OR THREE CHILDREN. MY LAST STATEMENT TO WOMEN IS TO STICK TO YOUR HUSBAND REGARDLESS OF ANYTHING,AND HAVE IT @ THE BACK OF YOUR HEART THAT ONE DAY HE MUST FALL A VICTIM
CAN U REMEMBER THAT IN THE BEGINING GOD CREATED MAN AND LATER REASONED THAT ITS NOT RIGHT THAT A MAN SHOLD BE ALONE THEREFORE PROVIDED HIM A PARTHNER WOMAN,HOLDING THIS MANTLE AS A MAN,MEN AS A PEOPLE,NATION,WORLD ARE POLYGAMUS BY NATURE,AND AS THAT HAVE THE RIGHT TO CHEAT,AND AS AFRICANS THAT WE ARE,WOMAN ARE PLACED ON HIGH ESTEEM,WHEN BEIGN MARRIED,IF SHE IS FOUND CHEATING ON THE MAN,ITS BYE BYE ISSUE..........SO WHY LET YOUR HUSBAND GO LOOK FOR ANOTHER WOMAN,AND STILL MAKE HIMSELF HAPPY WHILE YOU THE WOMAN GO ABOUT LOOKING FRO ANOTHER MAN WHILE YOU ARE ALREADY AFTER ONE OR TWO OR THREE CHILDREN. MY LAST STATEMENT TO WOMEN IS TO STICK TO YOUR HUSBAND REGARDLESS OF ANYTHING,AND HAVE IT @ THE BACK OF YOUR HEART THAT ONE DAY HE MUST FALL A VICTIM
You are the voice of HOME BREAkERS idiot... What is the meaning of that then there wuld be no love lust in marriages and there is room 4 seperation becus the other party won't be able to take such shit ...what abt the children... What will dey learn frm this they are going to be affected
Tra la la la la la la............#dancing!!! Just the solution I adopted after several years of crying my eyes out every night over my serial cheating husband. And guess what?? IT FEEL SOOOOO GOOOOOOOOODDD!!!!!!! My young boyfriend so good in bed. Linda better post my comment or else I will say you are not fair. My husband can't stop cheating and I really don't care! Cause the love and sex I get from my boyfriend, is out of this world!!!!! Save your criticism fellow LIB readers, you are not in my shoes.
this is d most stupid write up have read on this blog... she should marry first,. its easier said than done. nonsense idiot.
Lol, l hope you are not planning on marrying a Nigerian and certainly hope you don't intend to live in Naija and lastly your husband doesn't have family.
I am not supporting men that cheat but the truth is, once a woman start cheating, it posses more damage and challenge to the home than wen a man is cheating. Even the Bible said it that the happiness of a home is in the hand of a woman. God has given u guys a big heart to tolerate and forgive. A loving heart that is second to none. I suggest u spend time in writing article on how to prevent men from cheating, rather than encouraging women to destroy their home
Lmao.I dont agree to this at all. If you can't stand your man cheating then their is something call divorce.By cheating as a woman then you expose your self to self hatred.
I am Cheating on his cheating ass.. a Finer stronger younger sexier hardworking colleague of mine.
He can cheat all he wants, we both discharge all our responsibilities without batting our eye lids. We're that quintessential perfect loving couple to the onlookers and even to one another. dotting on each other like perfect lovers.
We both cheat and we both know it but no one confronts the other cos we both know we'd deny the allegations.
Why do you ladies make so much noise. Go have fun already.
You are so much on point.
I believe the writer is under 40years old,,
hopes if men lives with his 3wifes happy at his home ,,,,
you will marry a 3husband and live happy in your home too?
/i hate cheating though and all these sickness around
eleyi gidi gan o
Mkes no sense. Remember, a cheating woman can not b respected in d kind of society we find ourselves...
* * * Linda's 1st Daughter * * *
D write up is as stupid as d owner...how can u advise women to cheat...FYI God is d author of marriage... We cheat on God buh yet he's still faithful.. Two wrongs can't make a right
UNGODLY AND WICKED COUNSEL.if you cant do without cheating dont get married. period.
True story. But then theres nothing special abt d marriage after dt. Feelings will always get in d way (either 4 d spouses or d partners) & JEALOUSY breeds a lot of evil.
These situations always start out gd & end up messy. My advice is you both just break up & stay single.
Haha haha. ...GBAM. I understand this writer.....but I still know that our faithfulness is to God and not our spouses. ..I am Faithful to my husband not because of him but because of God. ...However to each his own.
Crazy woman
please rephrase ur comment from the voice of all cheated women to ur personal voice.Speak for urself and not odas.2/3 of men u see cheating definitely got problems in dia marrages,if u rili 1ted to ryt a buk or an article,i expected u to go down to d grass root of y MARRIED men cheat rada dan cutting d branches,it wld still grow again.So plz dnt push women to enter 1 chance with u.From ur statement alone,i can already tell y ur not MARRIED.
Open marriage been subtly going on yet men think a woman cheating cannot be forgiven while theirs is excusable. Mtcheeew. I did a prenup and T&C spelt out so I would not be bothered by any kinda cheating. Women love with your brains plzzz and save yourself some emotional tourture. A MAN MUST NOT DEFINE A WOMAN! Kyla
A woman that want to cheat should go ahead and cheat but should endeavour to inform the husband of her escapade. Also, they should give the women right to have more than one husband @ home. No be open marriage for women you dey find? You go marry 4 men for house. Because me na 4 women I wan marry and they will all stay in my house. Linda you don start the discussion Oya make we start to dey curse ourselves since Linda don open the floor. Oya start...
Dont make sense to me
I totally agree
Lmao😂😂😒 this woman dey h!!! But I agree too with her... All this fucking dudes be acting like their the only that can cheat and expect us the women to still be loyal... Like Na bitch ass nigga if u g'on cheat nothing g'on stop me from cheating too then u come tell me how it feels..
YES O.... MY SISTER
I support you my dear, I am a man but I hate the word "cheat" which men has placed as their invisible middle name.
I love all you just said but you know the Country Nigerian, lots of crazy traditional believes that surrounds our living here.
I myself don't want to marry but with a little of yours and a little of other reasons, you just have to try and make your way out of this country because that's where you can meet top class understanding with no interior blood running through their veins.
OR better still... Please Marry Me!
I will definitely agree to this terms you and condition you just laid down.
So satanic!
With the rate at which we see a lot of comments from women about cheating husbands, one would probably assume only men cheat and women just being oppressed by the whole issue. My guess is that most women cheat as much as the men and probably more. only difference is that most men dont come out openly to make their family issues an open discussion as women find it convenient to do as it is more a slight on them than anything else.
On the suggestion that women go out cheating as well, that like i said is already common, but we men dont really advertise it on web pages.
Finally, without wanting to sound like a chauvinist, A man who has had more than 10 known lovers may still have more than a 100 women who might still want him if they believe he can come to his senses and be faithful. But a woman with more than 2-3 known lovers will hardly find any serious man to come near her. Those that come close are probably only looking to have their own taste of the goodies and then find their level.
The world may preach equality, but the truth is NOTHING IS EVER REALLY EQUAL FOR ALL
I am not even reading this stuff...women are the same and can only trust them in the grave.No exception. ALL including the writer.
Nice ones,pls go to norther part and cheat on ur husband, see what they we do to you.
I agree with her.
In an open marriage, it's only cheating if there's an emotional attachment to the person being seen. The partners know and approve of the person their spouse is going to sleep with. No romance, no attachments. There's actually a whole lot more openness and trust in an open marriage than most Nigerian ' monogamous' marriage. But Nigerian are too proud and egotistical to allow such. They believe cheating is their birthright. For me, after all is said and done whatever goes on in a marriage shd be agreeable to the 2 ppl involved. Be it open, polygamous or monogamous.
absolutely correct! i will sign this petition.
i love this post and throughly agree to the thought of the writer.... ah ah! wetting set, its becoming to much.
I do not quite agree with you because of the use of the term "women should be allowed to cheat", did the men take permission before cheating. Women do not need permission to cheat, and hell do not even need to put up with a cheating husband. My take is cheat if he cheats, if you can not stand the heat then leave the kitchen. There are no rules to marriage, u make it what you want. Note to men, if your wife is unhappy, chances are she will kill you one day. Hell has no fury than the scorn of a woman.
No body is forcing u to get marry u na. U can flirt as much as u like. Leave those that want to get marry to do so.......... Plz
No body is forcing u to get marry u na. U can flirt as much as u like. Leave those that want to get marry to do so.......... Plz
go and marry your own and practice open marriage. devil's advocate. you ppl just sit down and keep yourself busy plotting who next to destroy. you are not married so its easy for you to help in breaking homes.
Never you condole evil...... Read your bible and call a spared a spared not a garden implement is evil, demonic and bad to cheat as a married man or woman QED.
I so agree wit u,infact it shld be in our law
Well said. Supported but not be careless to be caught.
Speak for yourself. That your voice belongs to you alone. Nonsense person. Enemy of progress. Wives are respectable, that's why they mostly remain faithful to their husbands. Very angry wife
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