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Saturday, 6 September 2014

Dear LIB readers: Should I tell her?

From a female LIB reader...
My very close friend has been married for 4 years and I just found out that her husband has a mistress. My friend is 7 months pregnant and is in a very happy phase in her life. It hurts me not to tell her but at the same time I don't want to be the one to burst her bubble especially with her condition. Though this won't be the first time he's cheating on her. He once got a girl pregnant when they were dating just cos my friend was a virgin back then and refused to sleep with him. Though he made the girl abort the baby and moved mountains to make my friend forgive and come back to him. They dated for 7 years, he disvirgined her and she has invested so much time, sweat, energy in the relationship that now that it has finally materialised into marriage I just don't want to be the one to uproot her world.
So do I tell her or wait till she delivers or just let her find out herself? Please, I need your honest opinions.

253 comments:

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Anonymous said...

U are right

Anonymous said...

Listen very carefully. You better mind your own damm business and another thing, if your friend is a LIB reader, meaning you have indirectly informed her about this whole shit. She does not need your assistance to the family through this means. Allow her to have peace both now and after she put to bed. It is none of your business.

Anonymous said...

i know this is probably not his second cheating as well…your friend knows…but chooses to ignore it. Best believe her reaction will create problems in your friendship but stay loyal and tell her!

Jesus Reigns said...

God bless u

Anonymous said...

Tafia! Mind your business.

Unknown said...

their headache





BORN TO SHINE!!!!!

Anonymous said...

U beta shut up. Don't tell her now, don't tell her 4eva!!! U don marry, u sure say ur husband or husband to be will be faithful? Mtchew.. Free dat woman

Lady G said...

just sip some tea and mind your business.

Anonymous said...

Exactly!!! All dis amebo girls.. rubish

Anonymous said...

Linda I curse d day I click on d post u made about Susan channel beauty skin line, her product is so fake, I spent my money to purchase more problems for myself, her soup gives u a serious vagina itching while her cream gives u ezeam and d case which u bought it for worsen.... I curse d day I click on her post .

Unknown said...

Plz mind ur business derz no point tellin her coz Shez obviously nt goin to leave

emoekpere said...

Mind ur own business b4 u become enemy of progress

l.i.m said...

Kween I love your comment. Lib readers you dont have to be insultive in your comments abeg e dey for una body wetin. Tufia kwa

Anonymous said...

Amebo. Mind ur business.

Anonymous said...

My dear please mind your own business! Better still confront the hubby and give him a good warning.

Unknown said...

O girl lock up oO

Anonymous said...

Intelligent

Anonymous said...

I feel that if she is really ur friend u tell her instead of her finding out and she will label u as a bad friend u knew and u didn't tell her but do what ur heart tells u

Aromire said...

Looking at all the comments and all I see is people calling this lady in question names, the way every one is calm & cool with the man cheating on his wife. What if he comes home with some sort of disease?
The best thing right now is definitely not telling the woman because she's delicate and doesn't need any bad news at the moment. And are you really sure - 100% certain & convinced that her husband is seeing a mistress?
Well, your friend should also be ready for anything she gets in their marriage since she went ahead to marry someone who couldn't hold himself when they were dating & he impregnated another lady. Smh karma is real.

K-line said...

What God has join together let no put asunder, so pls mind your biz nd tink of how I can get married

GOD's son said...

If u wish ur friend well no need for u to tell her oh, just pray remember her in ur prayers. ( single, living in d U.S, any single lady in U.S interested? My email krisoseki0024@gmail.com.

Anonymous said...

Dont telll her anytin, mind ur business she will find out someday if she is smart

Anonymous said...

Chinomnso thank you very much for sounding sane..so far the right comment comes out.

Honey

Anonymous said...

I strongly agree with your idea @ em jay... Its better off that way.

Anonymous said...

Anony 12;55pm you are the one stupid here, how can you encourage an outsider to be involve in a matrimony, have you not heard what God has join together let no man put asunder. The girl should mind her own business and pray for the couple. xcept she is the one the woman husband is cheating with if she is the one she should stop.

Anonymous said...

Seriously can't believe some comments here especially from the ladies.what did this lady do wrong?one,some girls here have already wrecked homes by being the other woman,hence the name calling,two,if you were the married friend here and your friend knew your husband was running around on you,wouldn't you want to know?check yourself before you wreck yourself..,#FemaleDante

Trevorberg said...

And its ur type dat is the mistress? So Shut d fuck up x2

Anonymous said...

All u people abusing dis woman are pathetic. Does it mean u cant advice her without calling her names? Its unfair. Ladies, it might b u tomorrow. Guys it might be ur sister. So y r u pple so mean.

Anonymous said...

From most of the comments here, it is sad that Nigerians have accepted adultery and see nothing wrong with it. The worst part is women make excuses for these cheating husband's. No wonder HIV no dey reduce.

Anonymous said...

Why would anyone post a question for LIB readers? Most of the responses are always ignorant and dumb

Anonymous said...

Like seriously,

What you allow is what will continue, and all men do not cheat. Geez!!! Remember, the bible said that adultery and fornication is a sin (both for men and women). Women would rather live in denial and answer the title of MRS, and would do anything to stay in a miserable marriage. And the lady's friend does not intend to ruin the marriage like all you dumb silly and petty women think, she's trying to SAVE her marriage.
When we allow infidelity, it never stops, it only continues, like every other thing, it starts slow and hidden until it grows and blows up in your face. And to all you silly women, it takes two to TANGO!! Your hubby or bf actually made a conscious and intentional decision to sleep with someone else, to chase another woman and yet he's the victim? Honestly, we ladies tell ourselves that "all men cheat, and as far as he takes care of his family and doesn't rub it in our faces its fine", but honestly that's what we women need to believe to keep us from running crazy, or because its just easier? and that's what men need to believe so they can feel less guilty for their act!! but honestly its a sin ohhhhh and you will surely reap whatever you sow. And to the man that said men need mistresses to ease their stress, well Women also have 10 x more stress and we need to ease it too. So what is good for the goose is good for the gander? Maybe is when all women start cheating too to ease their stress that is when all this rubbish will stop. Mcheeeeeeew. Well, as for me, i would rather have my friend tell me what's going on so i can decide how to handle it early enough.

Anonymous said...

Let's forget about him for a sec and ponder on this question; knowing his antecedents, can she honestly claim NOT to know what he's capable of doing? As the say, " the predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour" and so I find it terribly hard to believe that she doesn't know that he is probably cheating on her but she , for reasons best known to her ( may be the good life being married to him affords her) has chosen to look the other way. After all, as the say, no marriage is perfect ; you win some and lose some.

Anonymous said...

Anon 12:55 I agree with you. Most men be running here to say don't tell cos they all cheating on their wives. Anyway girl, it depends on what kinda friend you have. Me I will really appreciate it if you tell me but u know most naija stupid girls will start shouting enemy of progress, they don't care or want 2 know a man is cheating on them. Turn this story around 2 'a wife cheating on her loving husband and ull see them especially these same men tear her 2 pieces and tell you to tell her hubby immediately. Please if I'm truly ur friend I beg you tell me but I knw sme of my friends I can't tell cs they'll blame n hate u as if u da 1 cheatn on them. U might be a good friend but a good friend also knows what kindof person her friend is. Use ur intuition. Would she want2 knw? or just confront that heartless incapable of love husband of hers. Men with pin pricks and yet they cheating ...smh ----C21

Anonymous said...

Shut up JD LIAR. There are fertile and loaded men that do what's right. It's peoples mentality that keeps them poor. And yes, if a woman decides to divorce 10 men because they're all stupid it's no business of urs since we're all supposed 2 mind our business Shikena ----C21

Anonymous said...

Just say she should not tell her because there is no happy place there. It is ruined already

MY TURN said...

IF HER HUSBAND IS ELKANAH FAMIR BUYEUNGUM.... TELL HER THAT ASS HOLE NEEDS TO STOP MESSING PEOPLES LIVES UP

patty said...

Pls my dear like dey say hubby n wife matter dem no dey put mouth at end na u dem go use settle ok

Anonymous said...

Dear friend, I appreciate your concern and believe me, u rock! My advice comes in two ways. First, what you don't know does not hurt you. Don't tell her yet and if u must, hold on till she puts to bed and do it descretely.

Secondly, If he hasn't brought d other woman to her then he still respects his wife. Let her be. Not everyone knows how to handle such issues. I have been through it once and I spent 5 days at d psychiatric hospital. Now, I know dat d only one that can give u peace is JESUS. After 3 kids and no income from him in 6 years coupled with d fact that we have lived separately for 2 years, he's back now for good and has also started living his life for JESUS.

I'm better off because of d patience I learnt. May God keep sicknesses and diseases far from us and our household. Amen.

Please don't tell her!!!

Anonymous said...

This must be about Bode and Tolu

Anonymous said...

IF IT REALLY WORRIES YOU THAT MUCH,CONFRONT THE HUSBAND AND TELL HIM YOU WOULD EXPOSE HIM TO HIS WIFE IF HE DOESN'T END THE ROTTEN RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS MISTRESS. IF YOU DON'T HAVE THE NERVES TO PULL THAT THROUGH, GET AN UNKNOWN NUMBER LIKE WILLIAM SUGGESTED AND TEXT HIM OR IF YOU HAVE THE FEAR THAT THE NUMBER WOULD BE TRACKED GO ON LINE TO www.smslive247.com PAY FOR THE SERVICE AND SEND YA TEXT VIA ONLINE SERVICE. I BET YOU IF YOU TORMENT AM VIA THE sms WEBSITE HE WOULD STOP. BUT PLEASE STAY CLEAR OF TELL YA FRIEND OOOO AS YOU KNOW SAY WE WOMEN GET BAD BELLA. THE WIFE WOULD SEE YOU AS A HOME BREAKER SO NOT A WORD TO HER. AM A WOMAN AND I DO KNOW WE WOMEN ARE EVIL TO OURSELVES FRIENDS OR NO FRIENDS. BUT IS YOU MUST ASSIST USE THE ALTERNATIVE MEANS I HAVE SUGGESTED ABOVE.

Anonymous said...

please keep ur findings to ur self. thank you.

Anonymous said...

ki lo kan e, biko mind your own business.

Anonymous said...

mind ur damn biz. wats ur own. if u tell her, she n her husband ll reconcile and ul b banned from dia house. plus u sed shes pregnant, most married men cheat wen dia wives r pregnant. u shd know dat ur husband ll do d same wen ur pregnant aswell nd im sure u wldnt want to know.....wat u dont know wont kill u...

JM said...

hmmmmmmm. wat the hell is " ALL MEN CHEAT"....that statement will definitely encourage those men who dont cheat, and discourage all married women.
"dnt tell her" or "tell her" my dear with dis ur very detailed explanation of the woman and her situation am very sure she reads LIB and have seen it or some one close to her will be able to relate it to her.

Kessyjan said...

I'll say don't tell her just yet, confront her husband, if he insist on messing up, tell her, but if he promises to change, give him a stern warning and let him know next time you catch him, you'll tell his wife. If you catch him after that, tell her, she's your friend, and her happiness should be your priority.

Anonymous said...

I'm just curious, how did you know all these things the man did?

ayoSpecie said...

Pray for them.

JM said...

hmmmmmmm. wat the hell is " ALL MEN CHEAT"....that statement will definitely encourage those men who dont cheat, and discourage all married women.
"dnt tell her" or "tell her" my dear with dis ur very detailed explanation of the woman and her situation am very sure she reads LIB and have seen it or some one close to her will be able to relate it to her.

JM said...

hmmmmmmm. wat the hell is " ALL MEN CHEAT"....that statement will definitely encourage those men who dont cheat, and discourage all married women.
"dnt tell her" or "tell her" my dear with dis ur very detailed explanation of the woman and her situation am very sure she reads LIB and have seen it or some one close to her will be able to relate it to her.

Unknown said...

Mind ur business oloshi!!!

Anonymous said...

wait till she delivers. 6months after she delivers,tell her

Engr. Maknun said...

Anonymous. We know your type. Cyber bullies!

Unknown said...

Sho gba e!

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