I am married to a man who constantly compares me with his ex girlfriend to my face!! Each time there is a little misunderstanding he constantly reminds me of how well his ex-girlfriend understood him and treats him. What does this mean and how do I deal with this? I am confused!! I have told him severally how well I hated it and he doesn't see a big deal in it, he doesn't even care how I feel about it. How do I get him to stop it?
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Monday 27 April 2015
Dear LIB readers; my husband is constantly comparing me with his exes
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210 comments:
1 – 200 of 210 Newer› Newest»Too Bad!! Pele..
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.NOTE: Raise Your Words, Not Your Voice. It Is Rain That Grows Flowers, Not Thunder..
Keep prayin for him
There is trouble, he's definitely cheating on u
Hope u don't end up stabbing him like others do. Well, just stop doing things that'll make u fit into that category. Lindaobserve
Heya sorry, u okay now
Try to ajust ur ways, maybe he wants u to ve d characteristics of his ex period
He's still a kid then,he needs prayers!
Then start comparing him to your ex or your father.
I am afraid to inform you that you married an a**hole! Sorry but he is probably cheating on you because he is not contented with you.
He doesn't love you. He wishes he married her. Simple. You don enter one chance be dat. Sorry, ma.
Get used to it as they always compare davido to wiZkid
Your man needs to grow up....u are his future he should let go of his past. if his ex were better why did he end up with u???
Is just nt cool at all.
Also tell him how ur ex male friends understand u too.
Simple compare him to ur own ex as well.
Boy-man
herexcellency4lib@gmail.com
I feel his not into u. He's still stuck to the memories of his ex. If it becomes unbearable for u and there is nothing else worth staying please move.
Jane Ike winner of lib N100k 2015
tell him about ur exes too....rub it on his face as well...am sure dat will help
My dear,when a man keeps comparing you with his ex then you are in trouble
Sit him down & Talk sense into him
#Commenting thru Glo 4G LTE
Didn't he compare you before marriage?answer honestly and I will know the advice to give to you..
Rellaidiovo.blogspot.com
Too bad, why didnt he marry his ex?
Give him a taste of his own medicine. Compare him to ur ex boyfriend too
50-50 compare him to ur own ex and ask him hw its feels. Simple answer 4u.
Looks like he doesn't care about How u feel, really don't know what to make out of this,
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lolx. giv im d ryt position of sex(maybe table or wall style)n he will stop...
lolx. giv im d ryt position of sex(maybe table or wall style)n he will stop...
Compare him with your exes too. QED
I feel his not into u. He's still stuck to the memories of his ex. If it becomes unbearable for u and there is nothing else worth staying please move.
janeikewinner@gmail.com
Jane Ike winner of lib N100k 2015
lolx. giv im d ryt position of sex(maybe table or wall style)n he will stop...
patience...........
its a common trait with men especially
when u didn't date 4 long/ new in d relationship
lolx. giv im d ryt position of sex(maybe table or wall style)n he will stop...
Ask him he dint marry any of them why u? Abi u beg am to marry ni? Or na by force u force am or na wetin blind fold am?... also compare him with ur ex(s) even if u dint have one form a cool story around an imaginary ex... he'lld stop...I know it's not easy but also be independent and act like u don't care... if problem persists...then contact me... i'lld tell u what to do
Murda him wit d sweetness of d thin,give em enough german juice to drink,i bet em go forget those exes!
Damn! Wen u marry d wrong man, u sure thr z nothn goin on btwn him nd his so called ex? Smh
Are you sure he truly loves you. All you need is prayer and if possible see a counselor.
lolx. giv im d ryt position of sex(maybe table or wall style)n he will stop...
Hmmm dis man is too handsome for dt mama, well I dnt no u too
Normal so sit down
~D great anonymous!
go ahead and compare him with your ex Bobo...i think thats going to put him to check. if the ex was too good,he wouldn't have settled for you. but thats really rude shaa....
well Mrs Linda if ah no see my comment. war dy bdat ooo
No issues just give him time and keep studying him to know those things his girl friend does that are good learn to do them and he will begin to see his girl friend in you and soon he will see you in you....
Dis one is strong
You should tell him to go back to her, or better yet compare him with your ex. Bottom line is your man doesn't love you, he's still in love with his ex and probably his with you because he couldn't marry her (reasons for you to find out)
Means the man still possess some childish trait in him and mentally immature cos I wonder why he never saw that while you two were courting, just unfortunate you people ended marrying. All u need to do nw is to study him more and do away wit his dislikes @least to safe your marriage.
Compare him to an ex too!
Mac10...
smash his head with a bottle..i tried that once,it worked real quick!
Compare his dick to someone from the past! Mtcheew!!
He doesn't love you!
No issues just give him time and keep studying him to know those things his girl friend does that are good learn to do them and he will begin to see his girl friend in you and soon he will see you in you....
When ever he compares u with his ex do the same thing compare him with your ex their and then. That way he knows how it feels.
U better start comparing him wiv ur exes too..did dat for mine too..he ws always comparing me wiv his ex..me too started doin it too..d guy don pack well now..
Tell him in love
Get him to stop by dumping his ass
so he'll go back to his almighty ex.
Compare him to your ex also. Especially when it comes to sex (that should get his attention)
I don't know what the comparisons are, but I think you should avoid all the things you do or say that brings about the comparisons.
He don't love you.
I don't know what the comparisons are, but I think you should avoid all the things you do or say that brings about the comparisons.
do wot d ex use to do dat always makes him happy
My dear, Since is constantly,try and find out the exact things the exes are doing that tripes him. And start doing it,maybe it might change him.
He should marry his ex and have peace,foolish man,he married a woman who doesn't understand him
He should marry his ex and have peace,foolish man,he married a woman who doesn't understand him
Start comparing him with ur exes so he can he a piece of his own cake.
or may be u are not d right person dat he wnt to marry.
He doesn't respect you, warn him very seriously
Compare his love making to ur exes' . Let him know how better at it they were than he is. Or report him to his father or anyone else he listens to. Have been a victim. I know just how that feels.. aaaarghhh!
Nmaaa...
just give him a dirty slap
The man is not yours>>><<<<you have to be very careful
kick him down below
compare him with ur exes too
Did you guys not date at all ? please just pray
Wet in carry go there? Mtshew
When next he compare u to her, ask him why I he didn't marry her instead if she's so perfect. And tell him that ur ex will never compare u with any lady and that real men don't do that. #lobatan
So have u asked him why he didn't marry his ex instead of u?...
Compare him to urs. If he doesn't exist, make one up.
fool, his ex is better than her y dnt he married her .confuse man abi na charm u charm ur husband lolz provoking tin
Go for counselling both of you! Or wen he is very honey hold him down n give him a piece of your mind!
It means u married a retard/ fool...
And who says you cant also compare him to your exes? Do same to him so can know how its feels. Bad advice I guess.heehhhee
It means u married a retard/ fool...
If u compare him with ur ex now, it would be a problem 'cos African men are territorial and jealous. They have over bloated ego. Just let him know that u don't like it one bit. Tell him to stop if he wants u to be happy. If he doesn't stop, then ask him why he left the girl for u in the first place. If he still won't stop, then let the comparing game begin!
#TeamBlessed#
compare him with your ex boyfriends.
Tell him to go and marry his ex. Simple
I can tell you what it means, he's still in love with his ex. I can't tell you how to deal with it. I think he's a silly man, if the ex was his ideal woman why didn't he marry her?
Your husband is immature. Don't sweat it cos he won't change.
Ah ah, very simple...
U no get person wey u fit compare am to? The comparison does not have to be physical and it doesn't even have to be connected to you (it can be your friend's husband that you know he envies secretly, your colleague). There has to be someone out there to compare him to...
What is good for the goose is good for the gander...hehehehehe
Kill him @ least it stop him constantly repeating it, anyway may God help you, that's what happened when u stupidly force a man who doesn't wanna married into an institution dat he's not ready for.
He knows you hate it , thats why he does it to press your buttons, so next time he does it ignore him or pass a funny comment about it and laugh hard, very hard.
He is a stupid man. Why didn't he marry his ex(es). You need to ask him why he got married to you if he is going to be comparing you with his ex or exes all the time. If he dumped his exes or ex that means he has a problem then if he was dumped by them that means their is something he probably might have been doing that caused them to leave. Don't let the idiot bother you. Just do what you got to do.
Tell him to go and marry her. Period. Hope no kids are involved.
By changing your ways
#LIB OBI
Begin by making comparisons of him with your exes as well as your friend's husbands. People usually don't understand the gravity of what they do to people, until its done to them.
It's pretty simple. Compare him to your ex when he does that. It worked wonders for me.
Stop nagging...
Tit for tat. Do the same after love making and let us see how he likes it.
Compare him with ur own exes na #shikena. Abi U no get ex ni? Let's see if he wld like it.
Compare him to ur ex. QED
hate it, its very unfair to do this, try make up in your head a fit sexy cute well spoken well read well built ex of yours too and compare them to his face too, do it jokingly and laugh while at it
stop doing the things that makes him compare
Start comparing him with your ex too. Even if you dont have,make up one. I tried it and it worked for me.
he wants you to be jealouse
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he wants to get at you .. so play along
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Simply means you snatched him from a good woman. Sorry.
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Simply means you snatched him from a good woman. Carry your cross.
Ladies! Looking for your next signature outfit to suit all tastes and occasions? We've got you covered!
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aurabytiti.blogspot.com
Why didn't he marry his ex girlfriend then
Some men are just annoying......
Compare him to ur exes too
Men sef! Please pay less attention to that. That's if you value your life and still wants the marriage. ****Cageyberry ****
Compare him with your ex 2 let him knw how better they treated you... he go get sense by force.
End the marriage
He needs to get back with his ex
Hey darling,
It just might be his own way of telling you subtly. He chose you regardless...so think of how to make this work. If she was all that, he would av married her, dont you think? Sit ur hubby down and find out what exactly he wants or whatever...youuknaaaaamean??
Run!!!
Exactly! I would compare him back too, nonsense
My dear thank u for this.
Prayer ke? Be logical please.
#TeamBlessed#
He's obviously not soooo into her.
He's obviously not sooo into her.
Compare him with ur exes too
She should tell him to go and marry his ex if she is not good enough for him.
My dear majority carries d vote..... Almost everyone here says you should compare him wit ur ex, that's d word..... Do the same to him n let's c how it goes.
Meaning? Is this a giveaway post?
He stl prefers hz ex to yhu so u nid to make him prefer u to her.
Slap or pray the demon out of him.....Lol
He must v had dat same attitude when we guys were dating or courting. Ma guess is u felt he would change, well he didn't . Nothing can be done dear. Go down on ya kneels and pray.
It's simple, compare him wit your exes too each tym he upsets u.. rubbish
Hmmm well payg hm bck wit hurt wrds doesn't solve d problm, rada it add more fuel to d burning fire. He doesn't value u, if he does he wd neva compare u to anoda, try listn to hs complaints n c if u cd try adjusting. Bt believe me u r beta dan hs ex, if am wrong he wdnt v mari u, der's sumthg u v which hs ex doesn't v, dtz y he choose u instead of dm
Nigerians and their "pray for him/her" response to everything. Lol
To poster; Sounds like you married an idiot. Sadly, someone has to. He clearly doesn't know or acknowledge your worth, I suggest you let him know (unless you made him marry you in the first place)..
Also, do you bring anything to the table? This is why nig Men don't respect women. If you come to the marriage with nothing, how is he supposed to see the value you bring????
Good luck!
Pls warn that ur hubby! Better tell him how he's so uncivilised unlike ur civil ex. Rubbish
He doesn't love you.
Nne, I feel your pain jare. Marriage is much more complicated then it appears. God go lead you thru. Linda take note!
My boyfriend used to compare me to his Ex until the day I asked him a trillion dollar question... “if ur ex was better why didn't you end up
with her?” I told him to go and date his ex again if she is good enough for him and walked away. He later came back to his senses and apologized.
Keep praying, ijeoma is right. A little advise, when next he does that, act like u didn't hear him n talk about something else. Act like the statement wasn't made. U will v to try n he will get tired when he notices u don't get upset about it any longer. Men are children in adult body ( no harm meant) u will learn to understand each other soon. Be patient n enjoy ur marriage. Good luck to u both.
May God forgive all who have judged without hearing from the other party.
Let's look at dis scenereo, what if the hubby consider her his best was d reason he left his ex's and went for her, but he is getting far less than he had ever anticipated, bearing in mind that woman can pretend to be more than best when they really want to pin a man down to themselve, and go haywire just aftervthey have the man to themselve, thinking that the man is their already.
If u av never be in a particular shoe, pls be modest and don't be quick in judging.
Am not holding brief for the husband, am just indulging you all to view and take a deep look of both side of the coin.
99% of women won't indict themselves when giving an account of what transpired between them and the hubby.
Ask him how he'd feel if you compared him to your ex boyfriend or if you didn't have maybe your dad. If he still doesn't change, then say it one day to him. If he's got violent disposition, expect a slap either way its gonna hurt him. If he still doesn't turn a new leaf after this, trust me he's still into her.
Mikey
She should tell him to go and marry his ex if he is not comfortable wit her again or she should compare her ex to him and let see how he feels. 50-50 do me I do u God wil not b angry. Simple solutions to her problems. U can thank me later.
May God forgive all who have judged without hearing from the other party.
Let's look at dis scenereo, what if the hubby consider her his best was d reason he left his ex's and went for her, but he is getting far less than he had ever anticipated, bearing in mind that woman can pretend to be more than best when they really want to pin a man down to themselve, and go haywire just aftervthey have the man to themselve, thinking that the man is their already.
If u av never be in a particular shoe, pls be modest and don't be quick in judging.
Am not holding brief for the husband, am just indulging you all to view and take a deep look of both side of the coin.
99% of women won't indict themselves when giving an account of what transpired between them and the hubby.
True. Some ladies like deceiving themselves
You've said it all, when a man act in such way shows he's a kid.
Libers and bad mouth, lmao
If u snatched him from someone he truly loved then dat may be d reason. If u compare him with ur exes it will only escalate the issue. Obviously, he isn't into u. Both of you need proper marriage counsel. Let him accept his fate dat he is hooked forever and you will also help him to build dat love for you. You both have to work on ur marriage but the first step to succeeding in this is to forgive all past grievances. In my own opinion datz d only way out. It mite be difficult and requires a lot of patience but if you handle it maturely, it will work wonders. Remember marriage is a union of two forgives. All d best ma'am!
Am speechless...
Pretty wife caught cheating on her husband with the houseboy
Nadia Buari caught in a Hotel with a prophet
See What this Man is Busy Doing with a Lady in an Uncompleted Building
Crazy Things Uniport Babes Do in their Room when they ‘re Bored.
Wicked!!! Lol
Start yours too.. Or you manage it
The man obviously wants to hurt you. And you've shown him your Achilles heel. My advice, ignore him. And focus on the reasons why you guys are quarreling so much and fix it.
Probably. Ignore him and once in a while u compare him to someone. Give him a dose of his medicine
U can beat him in his own game, just b smart and try to be faster than him , u could say" oh, ur ex would have understood better than me " by the time u say more than he does, he will stop saying it to u.
Just ignore him when he says such. Don't give him your attention and don't say a word whenever he compares you with anyone. Ignore him but continue to perform ur duty as a wife. He will soon sense the change in ur behaviour whenever he compares you with another and he will change by God's grace.
HE WILL NEVER STOP COMPARING YOU, NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO, I THINK ,IT IS BETTER TO DUMP HIM AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, BECAUSE THERE WOULD BE A TIME HE WOULD TELL YOU THAT SEX WAS BETTER WITH HIS EX THAN YOU .
Ignore him when he says such. He will stop.
Correct!!!
Ijeoma, u might be right oh
Herexcellency; fine brainless girl. Lol
Wait u guys didn't date?
@davido's driver pls do u no linda's email account , I hv something bothering my mind and I want Lib to advice me
First thought dat came to my mind was "is he stuuuuupid"? It's quiet unfortunate that u find urself in such a position dear. Since he's refused to listen to ur pleas, u shud prolly ask some1 he respects to help talk to him. If he still refuses, then you should start comparing the heck out of him with ur exes also. Tit for tat.
Abi...lolZ
Kai f9 comment
Best reply thus far. Just ignore and whenever he does that, serve him extra delicious food and give him politely. Whenever you are going out, make sure to always look very beautiful, particularly when he is not going out with you. In all these, remain, humble and always happy and beautiful. Don't bother to nag. Trust me, men go crazy and imagine all sorts of things when they see you are happy irrespective of their bad attitudes. They begin to think someone else is making you happy. If you are a bit wicked, always be with your phone and be smiling like you just won the lotto ( even if it's Linda you are looking at) but make sure the phone is unlocked so he can always go through, if he is the type that snoops. He will be even more confused when he doesn't find anything. Lol. Take charge of your happiness and build your self esteem. Lose weight if you have to and remain happy. Expect he is a beast, you will see some changes.
I jst dnt understand men these days. I mean,if his ex was that perfect,how did he end up with u? Have u tot of asking him dis question?
SELFISH_ME say so!
He is not a man in the first place!! An ex used to do that to me, he talked about his ex girlfriend and everything they did together whenever we are together, my dear i left his ass. No man or woman should do that to their partner. Why did he marry you in the first place if he is still so into his ex? Just sit him down and talk to him, I mean REALLY talk. Cheers!
@HER,So you want to use idea use your tonto find money abi?
HE SETTLED FOR YOU. Worst thing that can happen to anybody in a marriage- Husband or Wife, is to realize you weren't your partners No.1 choice. He settled for you.
Lol.
Read Confessions of Nigerians on trueanonymousconfession.bogspot.co.uk #Nigeria
My thot exactly, if his exes were out of dis world den why did he let dem go?
He shud av wifed one of dem,some men shud learn to grow up...
Hnmmm!!!!
If what his comparing about
is worth adjusting
then you have to adjust
If its not worth it then try
letting him know you are better than his exes
If not you have to move on with your life
Its not do or die affair
#InmyHonestOpinion
Start comparing him with ur ex too,guy hate challenge and also pray about but don't b violent about it
My dear ignore him my husband does the same and me? I over compare him with my ex, then I have decided to make myself happy cos only you can make yourself happy, I also channel my energy into building myself and my career doing a whole lot of career building courses and hanging out with friends, since divorce is not an option! Stay in your house and condition yourself that he does not exist pay attention to yourself girl else intimidation will kill over a useless thing if she was so perfect why did he not settle with her? Forget abeg nothing is worth your happiness except you allow it, make yourself happy this life na only once u go live am and if you die? That kind of human being will surely bring his slots to the funeral so forget him abeg his not worth your happiness
Such a dumb response if he wanted her to change her behavior why didn't he marry the so called ex that understood him and treated him well. It's childish plain and simple.
Forget. Don't try to be any one else. If he is not satisfied with u, he should go and hang, u no get ex to compare am with. My sister, d days when u depend on husband to give u joy don pass. Compare him so he knows how it feels. Chikena!!
Why didn't he marry her if he loved her so much ? He married you, didn't he? On the other hand, whatever it is you're doing wrong should be corrected . I know it hurts but don't let his comments get to you. Talk to him and let him know how his comments hurt you. I'm sure even though he had his own flaws, you still married him and you don't throw them in his face. Find a way to improve on whatever it is you're doing below his ex's standard. The truth is, he is your husband and if you both don't put in effort to make your marriage work, you'll have no one to blame but yourselves.
Better answer, the man is a child. Real men don't disrespect women. So sad that some men have refused to grow up.
The 'thing' is probably the bone of contention here! Lol! #justsaying
Ignore him, make yourself happy atleast you owe yourself and children that, focus on yourself and compare him with your ex, and his friends, build yourself by doing a lot of courses as well as silent investment stop telling him things avoid him as if his a plague cos if you give yourself self BP and die this kind of imatured damaged brained human being will bring his slots to the funeral so face your life abeg his nothing I'm for marry the mumu ex na! And one thing with ex is that they always come back for revenge finish!
Really? Will you take this same advice you're dishing out ? This is a marriage here and not a relationship. Lets try not to make a mountain out of a mole hill.
I love your advice but I must say that I can picture the narrator receiving a hot slap after she blurts the phrase 'real men don't do that'. If her hubby is this immature, I doubt if he'll take that comment lightly. She can relay her message without belittling him. Two wrongs can never make a right .
At tyms dats what happens when u r forced to marry someone by friends or relative.
Am sure some ppl will say nobody can force u to marry whom u dont av 100% love n loyalty for but it real u can b forced to marry someone ur his or her love has declined in ur heart bt u av no other choice
Lol I lik ur answer
Haba how u know?
Best comment ever, @poster pls take this.advice, it will really help u.God bless our homes
Hmmmm....dnt go wt d comparison ,he probably compared his'ex' wit d other 'exes'.its his nature:he is immature n needs u to talk to him n let him know Hw badly u detest his disrespectfulness n lukewarm attitude towards ur feeling
Please madam give him a holt kiss, he we not saying again, try it, it's walking .
If his Ex was so perfect why did he leave her? @ Ijeoma Okafor spoke my mind.
Case close
......HMMMM, Sounds like my ex husband...that is one of the ENDLESS negative reasons why i left his childish ass...so he can go to his EXs
just pray for him and hope for the best.
My dear, take it to the lord in prayer. He will surely show you what to do. Gbam!!!
You are write jare
This scenario perfectly talks about me.I am the ex here the so called husband broke up with me because I am not a. Member of their church n so b it I accepted my fate. Now hes back begging n calling me to be his girl bcos he has made a mistake in marrying this babe.jus bcos of the constant calls he do make d so called wife thot am going out with her hubby na so she called to be raining curse on me Abeg if u are in my shoes wat will u do
And when she loses her home by following your counsel, you will provide her with another one Juliet? If you are a married woman, I'm not sure your marriage is a happy one. If you are single, it is better you stay off marriage! Better please!!!
Lindaikejiads@gmail.com
compare him with your exes too.. and let him know how they are better than him in bed. if he cant take the shit.. he shouldnt dish it
Aria
keep praying for him.
Ikechukwu Onah is his name
Ikechukwu Onah is his name
Compare him with your ex - case closed!
It is your faith, live with it or quit if u can't win him to it.
Anony @8.34, this is the best response ever. GOD bless u for this
why on earth did he leave d ex if she was too good for him,no mind am jare he is just a loser looking for whom to pour his frustration.GUYS TAKE NOTE,u leave ur humble gal u marry a waka gal now u complaining he hasn't see notin yet...IDIOT MAN
Wow! Pele dearie. I know how it feels been in your shoes before. I agree with @ijeoma tho... Is your husbands name Obinna? Lol, that's the name of my ex who did exact same thing to me. Threw his ass to the curbs.
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