Actress Stella Damasus advices women on how to keep their men | Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog

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Friday, 23 August 2013

Actress Stella Damasus advices women on how to keep their men

Actress Stella Damasus took to her Adiva blog yesterday to advice women on how to keep their men. Read it below
"...let me go to the topic I want to discuss today "keeping your man" This is for the married women o please this is not targeted at single girls. Now we know that the one thing men cannot live without apart from money is SEX. In this forum I really don't care where anyone is from or what religion you belong to, I will be as raw and honest as possible.
I do not understand why women especially Africans do not talk about sex when we know that it is the one thing we do regularly with so much pleasure.
Read the full article after the cut...

Keeping Your Man - By Stella Damasus

Hello ladies,

Been a while since you read from me and I am sorry about that. However I never said I would be the only one writing for this blog. I threw it open to members to send in their articles, concerns, challenges, questions and other things to the Adiva email address and we will publish it.

Not only that, we will get the experts/professionals to help answer some of your questions, I am still waiting to hear from you all.

Anyway I have good news and that is the fact that you will be able to watch me talk more/elaborate on things I will write in the blog. Yes o my YouTube channel will be very very active soon with my new project called Stella's diaries.


You all need to look out for it because it will be very exciting as usual. I will say it the way I see it and I am sure by now most of you know I am not ashamed or afraid to speak my mind.

Anyway let me go to the topic I want to discuss today "keeping your man".This is for the married women o please this is not targeted at single girls.

Now we know that the one thing men cannot live without apart from money is SEX. In this forum I really don't care where anyone is from or what religion you belong to, I will be as raw and honest as possible.

I do not understand why women especially Africans do not talk about sex when we know that it is the one thing we do regularly with so much pleasure.

Anyway our men love sex to the max and we know that for a fact. So how come when we are dating them we are so willing to give them what they want even though we know it is wrong. The first few years of marriage is filled with sex almost five times a day in different parts of the house and at odd hours, but after the few years we start to back down, we start to make excuses, we start to see it as a chore and then we let them know that we are really not interested in them physically.

Wow, what happened to the lady fox, the hot chic, the sexy cat that he got married to?
What happened to the babe that would understand the signal he would give and immediately comply?
What happened those times when he would race home to his sexy energetic ever ready wife who would make him feel wanted?
I know that most of you will say "I have kids who wear me out, I have work that drains me, I got older, my sex drive has gone under, I have a headache" to the point that the man will need to get a visa at your "embassy" to visit his favorite place in the World.

When you do this to him, how do you expect him to come home everyday to look at your tired, grumpy and unfriendly face?

How would you expect him to come home to you complaining about the plumber, your child that was being rude, and your boss that gave you a hard time?
NOOOOOOO please.

At that point he wants you to take him to that special place were the sky is so wonderful and turn his brain around to the point that all you say will sound like sweet music to his ears.
These men are human beings who go through their own challenges, half of which you don't even know because they are trying to save you from all the stress.

What annoys me the most is when we women start to complain and nag about the men not having time for us, and how they no longer find us attractive anymore and that's where the suspicion starts. That's when the saying comes, "if he is not getting it from me someone else must be giving it to him’.

I don't encourage cheating at all in fact it goes against what the bible teaches no matter what. I will not also judge anyone who has been caught in a web he is not proud of for one reason or the other. I believe that if we are truly sorry for our sins and we go to God with the determination not to sin again, he is merciful and will forgive us.

In all of this I know that all men are not beasts, neither are they evil because we married them. I also know that men do not get married and carry it at the back of their minds that they must cheat. That's not how it works please. There are things that we do that trigger things in their brains and these things drive them to do things that they really would not have done. Most of us believe it when they say men don’t think with their brains but they think with their penis. I beg to differ because they know what they are doing and I don’t see how the penis can have a brain that will control the whole body. There is always something that sparks off in the brain that sends the signal to the penis.
You may or may not agree with me but this is what I choose to believe. Most men we married are not so evil and dubious, some may be cowards but cast your mind back to the kind of man you chose to marry and see if there were traces of that character or not.

What men want:
- They want to feel like they are in control of things which is not bad because they are the head.
- They want to feel loved and like it or not they are our first babies who desire words of affirmation no matter how macho they seem.
- They want to feel WANTED all the time, it gives them the confidence that all men crave for.
- They want to know you are still sexually attracted to them.
- They don't want you to make it obvious that you are smatter even if you are.
- They like their space and alone time.
- They don't want to come home to a fat mama who is the opposite of the sexy curvy woman he fell in love with, because she let herself go after they got married. Why should she try and look the same? She is married now, who else does she have to impress? WRONG! Men are first of all moved by what they see before anything else. So when they can't see that anymore or at least an effort to getting back that body that turned them on, they'll probably lose interest in you and find it someone else.
- They don't want to come and hug you after work with you are smelling of onions and oil. At least take a shower before he gets there or if there is no time spray perfume.
- They want to come home to a nice smelling neat and tidy home.
- They want to walk into the bedroom with the bed all made up and clothes arranged. Maybe a small note on his pillow saying I love you and I am glad you are home, that definitely puts an automatic smile on his face even if for three seconds, it keeps him interested in you
- They want you to be a good listener not just a talker.
- They want to know that you believe in them and you are proud of them.
- They want to know that no matter what you will have their back and support them, then ask questions later.
- They just want to see that you are making an effort because no human should expect you to be perfect.
- They don't want another mother but they want you to take care of them the way you would your kids.
- They want a wife, girlfriend, sorry to say (personal call girl) which is not a bad thing because he is your husband who is free to express his sexual desires as long as they are not life threatening or demeaning.

There are so many things I can add and you will not stop reading so let me end this by saying: if you do not try to do at least 60 percent of this regularly, trust me a younger version of you will cross his path and that is exactly how the enemy works. When that younger and more energetic version of you catches his eye, your matter will quietly end. This girl will rock his world so bad that coming home to you will become a chore. These girls can give him all these things and even more that the men find it so difficult to resist. All the money that was supposed to go to you and your children will find their way to her pocket. They can get anything they want from your man because they know the secret to getting and keeping him.

I know that this article will cause a lot of controversial wahala but it is fine because in life people don't like to hear the truth. This might also be an opportunity for people to make silly comments but the truth is I am loving it all. I finally have the attention of people who will ordinarily not want to listen to me or watch me.

Ladies on a more serious note, if you are guilty of these crimes and are depriving your husband of what is rightfully his then don't be shocked when a younger version of you gets the best of him.
I will let you all know when the extended version of this topic will be on my YouTube channel. God will bless your homes and give you the wisdom you need to keep it together.

Think about this objectively, try out what you agree with and discard what you don't. Leave the messenger out of it for a change and see the bigger picture ahead.

Take care of yourselves and remember that I love you all.

275 comments:

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Anonymous said...

Dnt judge so that you will not be judge,we only sit here and read blog,whatever problem she has with her relationship is her business not ours,what matters here is that she make a lot of sence

Anonymous said...

Anoymous 5:30pm,did you jst ask what her life has got to do with this her write up?kai!ur brain must av been wired with one of the cheap sockets made in d outskirts of taiwan! Linda,if u like,don't post my comment,no b today,na ur way.LatinoPINKY

Anonymous said...

Lol. Bro I feel u

Unknown said...

of all pple in this world......dis husbabnd snatcher sudnt be the one lecturing women on aw to keep dier men.hisss

Eida said...

Thank you my sister or brother, anonymous 2:45pm

Anonymous said...

U na monkey!!!

Anonymous said...

@anony 4:34pm,its obvious ur a snatcher likee stella damaturu aboderin nzeribe aderinokan!shut the hell up!Ape!

Anonymous said...

Cum oh e u sure ur not my boyfriend? ......biko use ur real name

Anonymous said...

madam which man have you held down , jumping from bed to bed . i beg shut up

Anonymous said...

Please I'm confused. Is this blog for critics or what? Because all I have been reading depicts noting but pure criticism

Anonymous said...

i didn't read what she said i don't care what's with all these people with unenviable relationships trying to give other people advise abeg o keep it the world is already messed up enough we don't need anymore false prophets

Anonymous said...

God punish dis boyfriend..

Anonymous said...

Doris dey sleep wit another man oh u get another wyf 4 him

Anonymous said...

Ders no point criticizin Stella,we all make mistakes,jst get d msg 4rm d write up Shikena....LIZ

cecelinda said...

Oga eeehh, abeg talk say †̥☺ chop punani outside don D̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣̥ hungry U̶̲̥̅̊ siiiiinnccceee, no be ur wife matter. If U̶̲̥̅̊ think she isn't doing her wifey duties well, whateva happened †̥☺ dialogue in marriage? U̶̲̥̅̊ beta sit ur woman down and iron things out with her, b4 U̶̲̥̅̊ embark on a journey without destination.

Ada Ada said...

Didn't read what she wrote, frankly, don't care.
I'm not gonnna listen to a woman who thinks getting in the middle of a troubled marriage is a good thing, no matter what stories he gave u as defense. Meanwhile, u been using sex to hold him down abi? ngaw nu, u just wait and see.

Anonymous said...

I can c y celebs dnt pay attention to pple lyk u,cos u r jst bhind dem nd can neva meet up or b beta. Shez impacting knowledge bt u busy judgin character. Now wu has a cheaper brain. D reasons dere r teachers is for pple to b beta nt for we to chck up on dere lyf style. Learn DUMB

Anonymous said...

If she doesn't want to commit suicide then she should get off d internet,or just get off our faces.

Lucian said...

I've a strong feeling Stella is replying comments here.

Anonymous said...

Stella be truthful, how do wives accomplish this with the demands of kids?? by the end of the day ur tired and fagged out, how do u keep the house so tidy when the kids untidy it the next million and u have 101 things to do
you and i know that men are men, if u like give him sex everyday he will still cheat if he wants to.

Anonymous said...

aunty Stella! good topic but not a balance article. Paul never married but he gave best advice on matrimony . God can use anybody but it would have being better if u use urself as an example , , you've had it all .you suppose to let us know ur past mistakes and how uve learnt and how we can learn from u.tx.

Unknown said...

Gawd!!!! The hypocrisy of this woman is nauseating!!!! Gawd!!! Nwanyi, u need to look urself in d mirror. Look am twice & climb down dat ur high horse.

Anonymous said...

After saying all this,I sincerely hope not to read about your divorce soon. Cos people like you don't get to stay married.

Anonymous said...

u are a disgrace to womanhood and shouldnt advice us.... husband snatcher,advice daniel to go back to doris and stop giving boring crap here.... sex machine i sight u

Anonymous said...

u are a disgrace to womanhood and shouldnt advice us.... husband snatcher,advice daniel to go back to doris and stop giving boring crap here.... sex machine i sight u

Anonymous said...

Anya d ever lousy dog..u think like a rabbit...of Al things to say she killed ha husband???. na wa ooo... d way u kill ppl doesn't make killing easy for odas ooo Ewu gambia..

Anonymous said...

I stopped reading half way because i was getting angry!

Why blame it on the women always?

Your write-up Ms Damasus, i believe is stereo-typed to a certain group of women who have all the comforts of life at their beck and call just like you. And not to the ordinary Jane you see living in a face-me-i-face-you with her children, or living with several relations in a small flat, or who the husband does not help out with any chores! N0! You were not referring to these type of women were you?

Hey! wait! Did you ever considered the circumcised women when writing? Yes, the women that don't have the pleasure zones,but just the functional hole for reproduction and urination?

Please give us a break and ask the men why they stopped the petting, wooing and toasting after wedding?

A loved- happy and less fatigued woman would always look forward to having sex with her husband. THIS IS THE FACT MADAME!

Anonymous said...

Stella i thought u were experienced.... Looking at this article, u know nothing. I know women that keep to ur so called golden rules but their husbands are cheats to d core n they dnt give a damn! Cheating is a choice......... No one is perfect. U getting married to someone, u gat to accept ur partners flaws, imperfection,...... What u put up as an artcle is not what keeps MAN back home. Maybe ud learn in ur next marriage. Stop misleading pple. Men obviously get tired of seeing one lady all d time.... It takes more......a choice within him.

Anonymous said...

This lady is not in good standing to even dare to advice on issues of marriage. Pple who know her closely should tell her to stay clear from marriage/relationship issiues.

Anonymous said...

Ok. Let me ask a question..... So stella i have a man that cheats right...cos im fat for instance.....one of ur points....k i wanna get my man back, u know make him stop cheating....i go slim down:.........will dat make him stop cheating? Will dat make him have attention for me again...... Stella i need an answer now!

Anonymous said...

Please why are you blaming women for husband snatching, if the men do not leave their wives and try another woman outside, nobody would snatch them. so, blame the man not the woman. Everybody needs a shoulder to lean on.

Anonymous said...

this commentz are jst d fun of dis post.hmmm keepin ur man tinz.lolz.....linda post my comment oh!

O~Intuition! said...

Majority Of The Anonymous Comments seem to be from The Stella Damasus Camp.... roflmmaaaaooo

Anonymous said...

@2:28pm why are you calling her late. Well i hope he visits you that way your questions will be answered. I blame you.

Anonymous said...

True talk Stella. But what abt women that does all that yet the man cheat and eventually led the woman to do as well?

Anonymous said...

Wow, what planet is this woman coming from. This is the 21 st century babe, women are out at work and not at home cleaning and perfuming themselves for the arrival of the igwe of the house.
Whilst you have made some text book points, I would say you have missed the point completely. Marriage needs love, sacrifice, patience, perseverance, some times long suffering and prayers. Offcourse your home should be a clean , and a lovely sanctuary for the family. MrsU

JANETPRETTY said...

WARNING..............
If you're not married n u're here abusing this kind gesture, then U're the most miserable! Cos not until U're married( either once, twice, thrice or......), u won't know, understand, comprehend and endorse this piece of educative n inspiring advice.
OBSERVATIONS..............
I know 92% of those wagging tongues did not even read through, but went straight to 'comment' box 2 post rubbish.
QUESTIONS..............
Let me ask; is there a crime in what she did? Did she force u to read or take to the advice? So why raining abuses on her?
LAST WORD..............
You're bera go get a life! Assholes!

Anonymous said...

u guyz take it easy.... we all sin and one day we will seek Gods forgiveness after we av come to know the truth. God will readily forgive us. Stella may not be proud of her past but knows the truth today, we should give her a break.... like allthose sinners that seeks another chance, she deserves one too. make una take advice wey go help restore joy in ur marriage and stop being a critic

Unknown said...

sincerly speakin stella is tellin the truth... no matter wat she does, shes still tellin da real facts to ladiess... God wil Bless you Dear!!! Kip onn please and for you haters go to hell....

Unknown said...

Why people so negative. Obviously she's in a better position to talk about it because she's been through it she learnt for her mistake dats y she educating us. U dont expect a happily married person to teach this because she don't have experience.

Unknown said...

Yo

Anonymous said...

Some people are so negative.obviously she's in a better position to educate us about this cos she's been through it. Fine she been through numerous relationship that's y she able to come up with a conclusion . Ya all dont expect a happily married woman to educate u on this tho. Come on guys

Anonymous said...

madam fat face Stella sit your fat face down lets hear word

TinaTina

Anonymous said...

Can u all shut up!!!!!what has Stella done,in a marriage a lot of things happen,you never know why Dayo left Doris,I hate the way people criticise and call her names like husband snatcher,some stupid girls are calling her names As well.when will people learn to comment based on what the topic is about than attack the personality of the writer.let God be the judge no man has the right to judge because I'm sure some women commenting just slept with their friends boyfriend last night.bunch of stupid women own this blog.linda u need to do enough to educate readers on how to comment and screen as many stupid comments as possible(No human being is perfect we all have a story)

Anonymous said...

Tioluwalope Sleek, God bless u, my dear, they think that this is children story, some who are sounding like rolling tire are still single with their dirty behavior, ppl who are married understand all the writing here and the meaning, to my dear writer, Stella u are right and thank u for sharing this, mind u is not for everybody, like as they said that don't give a children food to Dog, thank for the massage and remain bless

Anonymous said...


just too long dear...and to be honest more concerned bout your awful hair-do...pls do away with this CHAKA KHAN & DIANA ROSS hair-do's...e don do...

Anonymous said...

Push a botin agujugom nwanne

Anonymous said...

Push a botin agujugom nwanne. Ali li post my commentoo or else

Anonymous said...

Push a botin agujugom nwanne. Ali li post my commentoo or else

Anonymous said...

Push a botin agujugom nwanne. Ali li post my commentoo or else

Anonymous said...

Push a botin agujugom nwanne. Ali li post my commentoo or else

Anonymous said...

Yes My dear Stella u see truht they is so bitter.but I can assure you we humans all have concience so some time is so easy to reject the undiluted truth publicilly but later in our quiet zoons it comes up like a movie and then we tend to accept it.As for me dear you have said it all.it does'nt matter what ppl are saying the wise ones who read this article we stainely be grate full to your work. may God continue to inspire you with more wisdom to do what you are so happy doing.More greas to your elbou.keep it up.

Anonymous said...

I get so tired of advice centered around women keeping the man. It's so backwards. It's the same line of thought that says the single woman has to 'catch' the guy. People need to stop propagating all this sexist, backwards thinking. Both parties need to work hard to keep the marriage alive, to make sure that both parties feel their needs are taken care of. If a woman, or man starts to change in a relationship, then both parties need to find out way and jointly address those issues. It is not the responsibility of the woman alone. It is a joint responsibility. The happiest and longest serving marriage I know is where both husband and wife adore and nurture each other. They idolise each other, 14 years on, they are as they were when they met and married after 3 months. It is not a job of a woman to keep anyone or anything. It is the job of both partners to make sure they remain in love and fulfilled. I could go for forever, but i'll stop now!

Anonymous said...

Chai, eyin aye

Anonymous said...

For those looking to a Daniel Doris reconciliation, is this how the do over ensues? He knocks on Doris' door and says "Hunny I'm home" and they live happily ever after, as if the public humiliation, divorce and remarriage didn't happen. How do they get to happy after all the pain and hurt between them once Stella "gives him back"? Draw that road roadmap.

Anonymous said...

SOOOOOO TRUE! GOD MY WIFE NEEDS TO READ THIS!

vee said...

all of una wey dey tongue lash dis woman......una nor try.....maybe i missed it but can some1 draw my attention 2 where she said she's perfect? she saw dese tins as flaws in marriages of 2day and she adviced oda women abt it. d fact dat u're not doin sometin u know u shud do doesnt mean u shouldn't advice odas 2 do it. we all av our weaknesses......ride on stella. dats a useful piece u just dropped. #OkBye

YKiluminating on Yahoo plu$ plu$ said...

if i am to marry, my wife must be a sex machine.... stella u are so on point

Anonymous said...

U shld listen to her.she knows what she's talking abt. She has been wth several men and she must figure out y dos men left their wives to be wrh her... Men r silly.dey gist deir girlfrnds abt deir wife. So she's talking frm experience

Anonymous said...

I concur

Anonymous said...

Stella, how about u writing about how men can keep their wifes. S

Anonymous said...

una don spoil finish

Anonymous said...

Seriously for a common-working-class mother and wife,I dnt think itz going to be all lyk u said in practical. nd stella? Ur article shud be titled"how I got your husband" u re nt a celeb to emulate no matter wat u write,ur lyf hangs dere lyk a danger banner

Anonymous said...

I am so disappointed at Stella. From the thoughtless video on child marriage,to this badly written article laden with grammatical and structural errors.
Stella,if you must share your thoughts through blogging or youtube,please get a coach.
You display a lack of knowledge of your chosen subject;both your video and this article.
You have no emotional intelligence,as displayed in your child marriage video.
I can go on and on Stella. Get coached or just shut your trap!

Anonymous said...

He who has ears, let him hear. A word is enough for the wise.

Anonymous said...

if its marriage, then according to the christian belief, that is according to the bible, it is "for better for worst" meaning that regardless of the situation u shouldn't cheat on your spouse. its as simple as that...

if u do not sucumb to the christian belief then you can do whatever you deem right

Anonymous said...

Please change title to read "advises" not "advices". There's no such word and advice is the noun while advise is the verb

Anonymous said...

Please change title to read "advises" not "advices". There's no such word and advice is the noun while advise is the verb

Anonymous said...

I know it might be late for comments,bur all I gave to say is dat u are good in the advice bur u ought to have used it in ur previous marriages nd secondly don't u put ur salt in ur kids shoes their mate calling them names NGOs of u.at least single mothers survive happily it not a crime to chase after other peoples men

Anonymous said...

Get a life u friggn hater. U jst open dat dump u call mouth n pour out wht eva shit in it.

Unknown said...

good one abi? God do forgive if we are sorry & sincerely stay from our errors, though there are rumours here & there but if indeed you want to be a role model then stay away from scandals. If you really have something to do with that your colleagues husband hmmmm Doris, then what is your point my Sister, you cant never be a role model with that lifestyle, I use to love you but i had to have a re-think of how you guys live your lives, Pls stay with God, i heard you use to be a church girl. Women who are roles models have respect for God and mankind. There are men outside there if you wish to re-marry. But if you are innocent then it is well.


Ruby said...

So that people like her would not steal them.She try

Anonymous said...

seriously guys, lets be really mature about this... yeah she messed up bt u know it's non of ur business... its up to her to make amends... n y'all better take heed to all she's said because its the truth!!!

Anonymous said...

u advise women? that is an insult...after how many husbands and more coming...stella.../aboderin/ nzeribe/aderinokan!

u're a disgrace to womanhood-abeg go hide urself,haven't u disgracde us enough.

Ebere said...

THIS IS A VERY GOOD WRITEUP.KEEP IT UP AUNT STELLA.

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