'Dead' prostitute wakes up & jumps out of coffin en route to morgue | Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog

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Saturday, 30 March 2013

'Dead' prostitute wakes up & jumps out of coffin en route to morgue

Paramedics were forced to leave empty handed

A prostitute in Zimbabwe 'died' during a hotel romp with a client - only to come back to life as her body was being put in a coffin. The vice girl reportedly collapsed during a sex session last week at the Manor Hotel in Bulaweyo. Convinced she was dead, her shocked client called the police - who sent paramedics to collect the body. 


But as they were loading the 'corpse' into a metal coffin, the hooker suddenly woke up screaming.
Local news reports claim she leaped from the casket, yelling: "You want to kill me, you want to kill me". LMAO. Continue reading...


Terrified staff and guests at the hotel who had gathered to watch the scene unfold, fled in panic.
A source told Bulaweyo24 News: "It was like a movie. People were running away in different directions. It was a scary incident because we were all convinced that she had died because she was just cold. Miracles surely do happen." 

The shaken hooker - known locally as MaNdlo - was escorted home by another prostitute.

Source: The Sun UK

147 comments:

Eze Chukwumereze said...

Hahahaha thanks Linda for the morning humor. A Lazarus hoe lol, hope she avoids the likes of dicktator because something huge was drilling her.:)

GALORE said...

hmmm....GOD of a second chance

She better Repent.

★★PRINCE CHARMING™★★ said...

Lol... No be small thing, the man really did her strong thing o! This should be a sign for her, telling her to change line of business.

simple baby said...

Its Bulawayo not Bulaweyo
The scenario is sometimes referred to as "tonic immobility"...many have been buried alive like this

segunsd said...

Loool. Quite hilarious so to speak

Anonymous said...

Thank God for herlife

Anonymous said...

Wow! Linda we so much love this news.

Anonymous said...

Na d Client prick kill am, guess she was awakened after d effect on her..so ashawo don de follow resurrect..

Anonymous said...

Na d Client prick kill am, guess she was awakened after d effect on her..so ashawo don de follow resurrect..

↭PRINCE JOBLESS↭ said...

Second chance. Imagine a Nigerian hooker doing this. The illiterates in that country would of lynched her thinking she's either a demon or an anti-christ.

Reimen said...

OMG!!! I died laughing. Good thing she's alive though.

Anonymous said...

Bhuhahahahahahahaahahahahahahah, I cnt stop laf, as in lazarus tins .

Mr. Fils said...

Wetin come dey chase them runners? lmao

Ngo... said...

Lol!! This Easter period... she shoulda waited till the third day to rise again.

ps; I hope she remembered to collect her money from the guy.

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
YOU GO FEAR BANGING AND EMOTIONAL CONNECTION.
SEX IS A JOB, NOW YOU CAN CONFIRM BABY.
LAUGH MY ASS OUT.
UMMA GIVE MY WOMAN SEVEN ROUND TODAY.
NON STOP, JUST A 4AND HALF HOUR PROJECT.
nON STOP, JUST WORKING ON HER BODY NON STOP.
HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA.
YOU GO FEAR THIS ZIMBABWEAN BANGING...LOL

Anonymous said...

Was escorted home by anoda hooker? Amazing!

hhb said...

She was hibernating! Lmao, it's about time she retires, this is a sign!

DickTatOR said...

Prostitutes're thick as thieves,she was escorted home by her colleague :)

Anonymous said...

Lmfao!! Oh Lord! This is hilarious. D dude must hv really banged hard. Wt if she had died. Hell fire straight up. Buhahhahaa! Cnt stop laffin.

Anonymous said...

Na wa o!

BONARIO NNAGS said...

She was probably pronounced dead in error.
If I were her,I'll pick d next available convent form.

~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA3310

Anonymous said...

Jeez... I wonder what she wud ave told ha creator if she truly died!

sommyplanet said...

I fink she purposely did dat,mayb she got tired of d sex n looked 4 a way out,2 no avail n she collapsed.if not,dats really a miracle and a big lesson 4 her 2 repent.my first tym 2 comment on ur blog linda.nyc job u r doing

Anonymous said...

Her lucky day. A chance to repent.

Anonymous said...

Lmao....bt seriously its a second chance 2 change 4rm ha immoral ways.....she shld beta repnt #ziggy#

spycat said...

Hahahahahahahahaha......hahahahahaha....."LAffin session

JustPorsh said...

2nd chance.
She should go home n sin no more.

http://justporsh.blogspot.com

tipslodge.com said...

thank God it happened in Zimbabwe

Anonymous said...

hehehe, notin we no go read 4 here. shes faking it or watin do her??? lmao. linda if u no post dis comment, u no go see me here agn. watin sef.

Anonymous said...

Buahhahaha...that customer f#€ked the life out of her.

Kobikes

Anonymous said...

Hilariously scary.waooh wonders will never cease!

Austine Onyedibe said...

That man must be a tiger for giving a sent to hell fire Sex ,infact this is called "I no do Again" ashawo no be work.

Anonymous said...

Imagine that... *in styl plus voice*

Sommie Italia

inno king said...

God saved for a purpose she stil have mission to acomplish ,be wise gurl.

nosablaq said...

hehehehehe. .d man wan kil am na y she form death..hop she encountrd GOd datz if she dint form it

baby said...

Lmao

Love Nna. said...

Gen gen!!! What's the title of this movie??? Let me think.......ok, Resurrection of the dead prostitute. Hehehehehehehehe.

Al Ameen Nigeria said...

Wonders shall never end.... End time things!!!

missy said...

Died indeed!I'm sure she was exhausted...shebi she collapsed yle 'in action'? n as 4 d paramedics,rnt dey supposed to confirm sm1 dead b4 loading into a coffin??she's lucky she woke up in time sha! Lolz...

ebira babe said...

Go hooker!leenda d major story wud be if u can gt an intavew wif her to tell us her side of d story...like did she mke heaven or hell?...RME

Marzzzz said...

Lmao! What will I not hear in dis life? The funniest part is dat she wz ezcorted home by another prostitute...lwkmd!

cream said...

Hahahahahhahahaha... Linda o, dis is sooo funny. D guy probably hit d tin well sotee d gal passed out. Dis is hilarious

Anonymous said...

Prostitution is so rampant in Zimbabwe (highest in Africa ) cos of miserable economy, one can fuck any bitch with just biscuit. To the prostitute, that's just a grace from God for her to give her life to Jesus and a lesson to others.

Chibuike said...

Hmm make she repent dis time o

fikky said...

Either of 2options:

1. Medical explanation: heart stopped or slowed down so much and suddenly started pumping again.

2. God gave a 2nd chance at redemption. Not many pple get this. At such a risky profession tho.

Anonymous said...

LMAO.. She died out of sex pleasure and came back to life after she could no longer feel τ̲̅ђe pleasure.. Lols. Na Osama she see for hell fire.

Anonymous said...

You need to start a new life babe, God saved You!

Anonymous said...

Lmao!!! Power of hm hm!! Dariz all

Anonymous said...

I know pple dt hv woken frm death wit dat same fear âñð anguish after they hv witnessed Hell. Am glad God gave her anoda chance to live a better life. Pls its Easter let us reflect on how much God has loved âñð sacrificed to make us sons. Christ death on the cross isn't history,nor a joke.He did it 4 u. Pls Say this if u wnt 2 giv Ɣ☺ΰя heart to christ."dear lord God,i come to u in d name of Jesus Christ. Your word says..whosoever shall call on the name of the Lord shall be saved "Acts 2:21. I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of the living God,i believe that God raised Him frm the dead âñð i confess wit my mouth that Jesus Christ is the Lord of my life frm today.i receive by faith,remission of sin for my soul, âñð rit now in the name of Jesus Christ i receive eternal life in2 my spirit.i am born Again.(linda pls post dis i beg u) God bless u.

BobbyDonChims said...

Linda she wasn't dead, i think she was still in shock over the hot s*x that fellow gave her, shez never had such before, Linda i'm still crying, I LOVE YOU SO DEARLY..PLEASE...PLEASE***crying and running around the streets.

Welcome to Eddy Ogbunambala's blog said...

Second chance... For her to repent!

Anonymous said...

LMFAO! Apparently she wasn't dead,this is hillarious,Bwahahahahahaha

Pretty Girl

Annie Kofi said...

Lol

Anonymous said...

o boy!!! The guy dick must be very dangerous for the woman to wake up screamin those words. Lol......

Anonymous said...

Second, chance make she repent abeg.

gloria sharon said...

Hehehe!LMAO!Ashawo a'int work mehn,hope she repents after this!But these zimbabweans ehn!

Tongryang Pantu said...

Hmm

Anonymous said...

Lmao thisms d funniest v ever read n a while Linda, o ti yanma

U want to kill me, u want to kill me
Who carry am por sledge hammer in my. Hausa accent

Anonymous said...

This one na laughter galore. Chei. I wish the event had been captured on video. It wud be such a hit. Hahaha still laughing. IAI

gistmode said...

I guess she went on coma not that she died... that's for sure.

Anonymous said...

Does that mean dat S̶̲̥̅ђε̲̣̣̣̥ went t hell nd came back? Or is it a miracle dat S̶̲̥̅ђε̲̣̣̣̥ came back? Confused mind

Anonymous said...

Lmao,linda this is weird but funny!

Anonymous said...

SHe should thank God very well becos hell was waiting for her,she better repent now cos God loves her!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Now she's gat her second chance. She needs to repent.

Anonymous said...

She is lucky 2 hv a 2nd chance
Sallysmart

Anonymous said...

Oga oo!

Dobby said...

Lolz! Dats wierd!!!miracles surely do happen and it wasn't probably her time

Anonymous said...

Hehehehe......Iimagine,the "Lady" taking to her heels without shoes and her "Client" kneeling down to thank God for not landing in jail.......

Anonymous said...

Lol. Am sure she will repent after the incident. Lmao

DickTatOR said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
GALORE said...

as u dey RUN,,no shaa coomot cloth for street....bcos LINDA no send U 'dry' love oo

Linda is 'taken' alreday......YeLsh.

Anonymous said...

Another chance to repent

BobbyDonChims said...

Nwaooooooooooo..these fellas love s*x talk whole lot..save ma self hmmmmmm today na good Saturday in ma house praying and think about LINDA please please i'm getting so crazy.

Anonymous said...

Hmmm ashawo with 9 lives...repent o

Anonymous said...

Senseless comment.

Ada Owerri said...

Lwkmd!!!buhahahaahaha

Anonymous said...

Sooo stale......go nd upgrade oo linda, ur news r so so so behind

Anonymous said...

Jobless u so right hehehehehe I remember same happened to your grandma.....lol but seriously u are right thank God this whore was surrounded with literate *sarcastic look* when she ressurected.

Anonymous said...

Nice avie, is dat ur gf? *coverface* ofofo

Julianah Baiyeshea said...

That girl came back to life for a purpose. But wait a minute, why didn't the Sun UK go after the prostitute to interview her? This news isn't complete if we don't hear from the prostitute herself.

Anonymous said...

Ohh Fuck off u ignorant piece of shit. Your comment was just unnecessary .

Anonymous said...

D@s true sum ppl wre buried lyk d@ nd nobody wil knw d@ dey weren't dead mayb in a coma.
Damn!

Anonymous said...

Why are pple sying she shld repent??? Repent 4rm what exactly?? Dats her source of income n its legit.. Abeg all these hypocrites shld park well abeg.. As if they don't also have sex 4 money.. Thank God for her though!

Anonymous said...

i don't belief d woman died and wake up..
www.naijaopenmouth.com

BIG FISH * said...

Ewww!! C me c Wahala oooooo..... Dat guy nid to b arrested for Sexual killing and too much sex assault... They nid to charge him for 200% fee of sex..."STILL WATCHING FROM MY OCEAN

Queenette Ononibe said...

LMAO @ 'escorted home by another prostitute' hahahahahahahahaha..

grace arinze said...

dis is a real Easter gift to the said lady,no greater second chance than this

Anonymous said...

God save her sha make she repent ooooo hmmmm else there won't be 2nd chance anymore...lindiana pls post my comment o i beg

Anonymous said...

God save her sha make she repent ooooo hmmmm else there won't be 2nd chance anymore...lindiana pls post my comment o i beg

Viano said...

Hmmm, makes one wonder how many people have been pronounced dead without proper examination and buried alive!!!!

Anonymous said...

So dts hw Linda did nt post ma comment! Well done u hear *kmt*

Anonymous said...

Our own first lady died for seven days!

London Boy said...

THIS COMMENT IS ONLY INTENDED FOR @ "SIMPLE BABE" AND ALSO TO SERVE AS FORM OF CLARITY AND NOT MISREPRESENTING TERMINOLOGIES. THE WORD "TONIC IMMOBILITY" WAS USED INVARIABLY BY YOU AND ITS SOO SAD. THAT LADY CAN NEVER BE IN THAT STATE. TONIC IMMOBILITY IS AN Apparent death, colloquially known as playing dead or playing possum, Its a behavior observed in a wide range of animals in which they take on the appearance of being dead to an observer. This could either be an involuntary reflex action, as in tonic immobility; or an adaptive behavior as in thanatosis, which is used both as a defense mechanism and as a form of aggressive mimicry. I BELIEVE THAT WAS A MIRACLE. SOME PEOPLE JUST THINK AS IF THEIR BRAIN IS ON HEAT PERIOD. LONDON BOY SAY SO..

Anonymous said...

hahahahahahaha..this surely cracked me up.omg!...she simply passed out on her customer we dey high on toxic substances.lol...wen power jam power,lesser power go bow!lol

Anonymous said...

*would have

U L said...

0dne.verdana.javali0

Anonymous said...

Shut up Mumu. He is saying the truth.

SOUTHERN BLOG BUG said...

That dude is just like me. Heheheh!! I can remember the day i HIT a Gurl so hard that She threw up (vomited). Well, i think God gave her a 2nd chance. Go & sin no more.

Anonymous said...

True at PJ

Chichi Chb said...

LMAOOOOOO!

http://life-is-a-rosee.blogspot.ca/

elo said...

Its tru jor, we know he usually doesn't have sense but not every comment is senseless,,,remember aluu4?

Anonymous said...

Was S̶̲̥̅ђξ wearing cloth as @ d̶̲̥̅̊ time ÖƑ̐ resurrection?=))º°˚˚°º=DнaĦaнaaa=Dº°˚˚°º‎​=))‎​=))º°˚˚°º=DнaĦaнaaa=Dº°˚˚°º‎​=))‎​=))º°˚˚°º=DнaĦaнaaa=Dº°˚˚°º‎​=))  =))˚°◦ .
_\\_ℓ☺ℓ

stormzino said...

if i hear repent

Tee'stalking said...

Hahahahaha! Shit I can imagine the terror. Lmao

Anonymous said...

Eh! Simple baby, you know all abi? Biko swerve! Create ur own blog and tell us about those that have been buried alive na (˘̯˘ )

Anonymous said...

Its kalled lazarus syndrome

Obianwu Festus said...

2nd chance. Become a good born again.

wise king solomon YSG said...

LMAO, jesus wakes Lazarus..........

wise king solomon YSG said...

LMAO, jesus wakes Lazarus..........

PROUDLY LESBIAN GIRL said...

Is this a joke or Wht ?

Anonymous said...

Hahahahahahahahahaaaa u're one crazy fella. Laz indeed

spiky said...

Mumuric as usual.

NK said...

True talk,not senseless atall

Trendy Rammy said...

Thank God for her life.she shud go and sin no more
http://trendyrammy.blogspot.co.uk

Aby said...

So hilarious

Olamilekan bello said...

Very hillarious...anyway, i believe its a chance for her to leave a better life...

Anonymous said...

Chai... Ashawo ₪☺ βε work Ooº°˚˚°ºoO

Anonymous said...

U re d 1 dat is senseless kos wt Prince Jobless said is actually TRUE.

Anonymous said...

Q: What do these 3 people have in common?
-Lazarus
-Perm Sec Patience Jonathan aka Madame Umblerra
-Zimbabwean prostitute

A: They all rose from the dead

Anonymous said...

Just can't stop laughing

Anonymous said...

LMFAOOOOOO!!!! This is the funniest post ever!! Hahahahahaha

Anonymous said...

@Prince Jobless. The way you use every opportunity (even in unrelated matters) to make deprecatory remarks about Nigeria has become very irritating to say the least. You lived 11yrs of your 20yrs in Nigeria. SHOW US SOME RESPECT! Stop being so unnecessarily pernicious. The way you write on issues portray you as an intellectual and emotional cretin. GROW UP!

Anonymous said...

God has a mission for her. If u can ask her u'd find out this very fact. She better answer her calling.

Anonymous said...

She was not checked properly to know if she was still breathing bcos she's a hoe, nuttin like resurrection joor.

Anonymous said...

LMAO!!! This is the funniest thing I've read in a long time

Anonymous said...

Lmfao @ Lazarus ho

Anonymous said...

Pls Pls and Pls lets get something right here.Has any body tried to imagine the size of the prick that nearly put this lady to an untimely exit.Pls lets meet the man ,see how the prick is,if possible try it on another woman and see where this problem could be from.pls examine this mans prick agility/size and every other thing.............

JustPorsh said...

Enlightening...
Merci.

Dlapikin said...

These things actually happen a lot. Sometimes the heart stops and comes back.

Max said...

Prince Jobless I'm so happy for you bro! Your mom arose from the dead despite being a public toilet. I truly believe this is the universe' way of warning you and your entire family. Your mom already had you..an abomination if I might add..as a result of this holistic way of life..and now you have joined the family business by taking it up the ass on a regular..this trend has to stop..and I believe your mom waking up from the dead is a true sign..(Even tho I believe she just experienced a minor episode of asphixia from a cock being shoved too deep down her throat). It is well prince jobless...it is well.

Queen Bee said...

She wasn't dead,she travelled to the seventh realm of ecstacy!!

Anonymous said...

Lollss, Nice 1 Linda. Am so Addicted 2 ur blog.

DickTatOR said...

Lol @ *coverface* ofofo.No she's not my gf,she's my best-friend.

DickTatOR said...

Oh and thank you for the compliment :)

Anonymous said...

No Offence ,,,,but if she is a muslim ,,,she would have been burried and long forgotten. This is a very big opporturnity for her to repent. Thank GOD for Jesus

DickTatOR said...

I like how u use words that'll send d bunkum flipping through d pages of his dictionary not knowing he can just google d words.

kawasaki said...

Max - its asphyxia
Secondly if you all keep riding on prince jobless dick not all of u might be lucky as Bulawayo/ Bulaweyo.

Anonymous said...

PJ stop responding to your own posts you cum guzzling piece of shit. #FlamingHomosexualBastard

Anonymous said...

Wooooohoooooooo!!!!! Prince Jobless's Mom lives!

Derin Afe said...

Let us all Rejoice with Prince Jobless on the ressurection of his mom.

Anonymous said...

i'm sincerely not a fan of anybody here cos evri1 as dey ar al entitld 2 deir opinion.but as 4 u Max,tel us wat sense ur comment makes.PrinceJ might annoy peeps at tims,but u on d otherhand,u ar clearly dillusional 2 tink u made sense wit dis nonsense cheap shot u carved out 4m ur brain dat is suposd 2 b functionin.Pj aired his view,how has dat caused u malaria.air ur own view and shut ur trap!

Anonymous said...

PJ what if you die while taking it up the ass and you don't wake up? That's hell fire o..repent your sins.

crazyfacts said...

is this real, can i get a deeper information on this? stories like this can create waves on crazy facts. good blog...

Anonymous said...

Hahahhaahhaahhaahha.U'r funny.pls leave my pj alone abeg.

Kshitij said...

Thanks a lot Linda for this funny news... Keep it up dear...

0 said...

Kawasaki Ninja...Anon 11:10....FUCK YOU! *** :)*****

Anonymous said...

Derin that is not nice. How will you feel if your mum is called a resurrected ashawo. Ha ha... Take it easy all attacking PJ. INSULT PJ IF YOU WANT BUT NOT HIS MAMA. madam Linda see to this. Such comments shouldn't be posted. I know that comments are checked before being published. LET'S ALL BE CIVILISED.

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