Dear LIB Readers: Is it okay to keep in touch with an ex?
From a LIB reader
Please is it okay to keep intouch with an ex? My wife thinks its not right and has been fighting me for communicating with my exs. One is married while the other is still single. The married one is the one that calls often. They call to check on me and to ask for advise and I also call them to know how they are doing. I don't think there is anything wrong with it but my wife is fighting me about it. Please will like to know other people's opinion on this. Thanks
154 comments:
BLOGLORD
said...
For the interest of peace. pls stop contacting ur ex. My ex was still my friend till i noticed my hubby wasnt pleased with it one bit so i brot a very sharp knife n cut the contact
is this a trick question or what? what will u and ur ex be discussing? pls my husband will not b allowed to continue contact wit all his ex dem or else there will b no peace in the house. i dnt talk to any of my exs. please aunty linda follow my blog www.nellyozojie.blogspot.co.uk thanks
This has caused conflict between my husband and I.Me,I don't want him keeping in touch with them cos if it's me,he wouldn't like me to do so.......shikena.
Y will they be callin u? Re u a marriage counselor? Abeg...if y'all meet casually u can say casual hi...hello & kip it movin...notin more. Says Aduntos Via Metropcs LG Fone!
Hello fellow LIB reader, The matter @hand is not to seek other people's opinion but to accord your wife the basic mutual respect required in a relationship. You need to understand how and why your wife feels otherwise about the issue and not bring 3rd parties into it. In my opinion sha, it is totally wrong and uncalled for, let sleeping dogs lie. Cheers!
okay, mr man!! if your wife starts keeping in touch with her exes, will you be comfortable? quit these games and all you deceitful people should move on with your life. that chapter has been closed. so why do you keep on opening it ? to reminisce on old times ? STAP EET!
Bia Linda,it seems like when u run out of pictures to post n stories to post,u resort to 'Dear LIB readers' rescue remedy abi?u be real business babe sha!cos u know say for sure,u go get many hits for the rescue mission....na ur luck,enjoy ur mola.
I agree with bloglord, and as for the second anonymous. SO true. One day you will visit your ex or because she is asking for advice, you will meet one place. Then gist will finish, then u guys will start reminiscing how it used to be, then one thing will lead to another, one person will give the "just this last time" speech, and things will start to go haywire from there. if u r both single, then no wahala, to me sha. cHECK OUT MY SKITS ON YOUTUBE. http://www.youtube.com/user/olsnetwork
It's not advisable at all. U̶̲̥̅̊ never can tell what ur ex has in mind. Pls get a sharp scissors and cut off d relationship if U̶̲̥̅̊ don't want a broken home.
It's not advisable at all. U̶̲̥̅̊ never can tell what ur ex has in mind. Pls get a sharp scissors and cut off d relationship if U̶̲̥̅̊ don't want a broken home.
do not keep in touch with your ex period! it is unfair to your partner. my own husband kept in touch with his ex even after we got married buying her gifts. it has affected our relationship so badly. if i mean so much to him, why hurt me by constantly keeping in touch with her?
Are you a shrink? If you are comfortable with your wife keeping in touch with her exes constantly no wahala. Just let her know she can hang out and "give advice" to her exes.
This is a LAME question!...if you want to keep talking to your exes while you married, then your wife should start talking to all the guys that smashed abi na gbenshed her before you married her! Dont see anything wrong with that now, huh?!!!IDIOT
I dont tink its bad if it is not affecting ur marriage in anyway.but if a party is not comfortable then its nice to cut off completly.not all ex are badnews
It,s not okay cos of present affair. No reason justfies the friendship. But I tell u,sometimes memory are great especially when you shared great times and just wonderful friendship. Just let go and stop any form of communication.
You know how I solved this problem? I started keeping in touch with my own exs. He got mad and understood where I was coming from. He stopped it and I also stopped it. Problem solved.
Most times people do not understand how their actions hurt others till they at the receiving end.
Linda,i know u will not post my comment abt telling u this sortof questions u bring up here are ur 'rescue remedies'or trump card u throw in when u are low on the stories department...na today?u sabi do 'selective posting'when it suits u n ur bank account.Na u sabi!
Bros no play with charcoal wey still dey bring smoke oh! On a more serious note I think u shud cut-off d relationships b/w u and ur exs now b/4 old layed to rest emotions resurface! U are seeing it as being friendly and platonic,are these ladies seeing it dat way? U can neva tell sometimes with women! So bros make u run oh becos soonest na ur shoulder dem go rest put dey cry and u go come dey pat dem 4 back oh!
Okafor's Law will make your wife worried and she should be! Advising ko, Checking up ni. The both of you are just testing the waters to see if you both can still hit that. Be honest and quit it.
I hate it when pple know what's right and act like they don't, like many persons said, if you would be okay, letting your wife be a counselor to her Ex, then you can continue being intouch with your else. Rubbish. If you don't like something, why do it to another?
When things go wrong,d first person to blame is d devil! Pls bros cut off dat communication link b/w u and ur exs now b4 old layed to rest emotions re surface!
I don't see anything wrong with you staying in touch with your ex, as long as you are true to yourself and your wife that you guys are just friends...I keep Intouch with my ex, he even introduced me to his girlfriend and I introduced mine to him and we hang out most of the time and there has not been any animosity. It might be different for other people but just saying mine
Ex's are like trash. When you take it out, you never bring it back in the house. That said, if an ex is in a position to add progress to your life or vice versa, I don't see anything wrong in being amicable and civil. I always love being the ex anyway cos I know her boyf or wateva will hate me.. Lol It kinda feeds my ego knowin he knows iv had her in worst ways than he can imagine
Y wld u contact ur EX? It wasn't gud enuf dats y she/she is ur ex. If they were gud then they wld stil b wi u. D married one cal 2 ask 4 advice r u a marriage councelor? Well 4 mi.. I dnt feel comfortable contactin ur ex especially if she's prettier dan mi..lol.. Buh all my husbands exes r nat as preedy as mi.. So I won't even bug my head if he's seein his ex, If derz an undastandin, u can c ur exes n b jst frends. FLoBERRY don talk o.
Well I suppose you have to ask yourself what is more important to you, your career as a counselor to your exes...... or your wife's happiness and contentment.
Its not! Xpecially if ur husband or wife isn't ok wid it.. N by d way,ow wil u feel if she's kipin in touch wid an x? Dats d questn u shud av askd ursef 1st!.. Na frm kipin in touch e dey stat den its graduates to romance.. Anyfin can happen, xpecialy if d x is ur 1st love. Pls stp d "kipin in touch" xcept say e get wetin u too dey fyn frm dem sef.
Mr Man! U knew u guys would still keep in touch in the future why didn't u tie the knot in the past?abeg better respect urself and ur marriage vows jare...
Abeg, abeg...people should start posting comments with sense.So because there is no story, Linda should turn herself into story?If she no post anything, u go complain, if she post, u will be crying...is there anything one can do to please u people?Abeg park well or vamoose from this blogsite before I open my eyes.Mscheeeew....
just because someone is an ex does not mean you have to burn the bridge with that person. Just because a relationship didnt work out with someone does not mean that person is a bad person...learn to keep all your bridges in tact, you never know when you might need them.
My ex bf keeps in touch wif his exes wen I don't, dis constantly brot quarels b/w us,he tells me she's hs very gud frnd,I decided to knock on his door. Early one mornin voila! He did'nt let me in,I was mad, afta he explained he did'nt want me to cause a scene,we made peace dat day.(Meanwhile I'v taken d girl's no from his fone awhile ago witout his knowledge. I went home, cald d girl up for a meetin..I found out dey were stil datin.they neva broke up.we decided to kip our meetin a secret and scheme( I felt pity for her coz she's dated him for more dan 2yrs..but she went b'hind me n told him all I told her*smiles*..we are over now..sounds like a movie huh..yeah ..I'm hurtin sha..but I knw I'll be fine.
It is not advisable to contact ur Ex for anything at all, cos it will compound more problems. So if u really love ur wife stay away from ur Ex, because contacting ur Ex can trigger off some chemistry and when u start enjoying her, u don get issues for ur marriage. For eg, i just call an old GF of mine BABYM That is, my baby, my wife saw it and i knw what happened so its better not to contact ur Ex.
Okay, the answer to the question is notjustok.com.I personally don't feel its right to keep in touch with ur exes.It's like a dog going back to its vomits.Anything can happen when such communication is not broken.It can lead to broken hearts, broken homes, adultery&many other things.Wisdom is profitable to direct.
When you meet the right person for you that comes into question ,Do you put your relationship at risk by seeing ex partners ,My opinion is that you don't have a long term plan for your current partner ...think about it would you like it done to you .........#youknowyouarewrong#
Maturity is key when it comes to handling such matters. Followed closely by trust. Even if the 3rd party has ulterior motives, so long as you and wifey understand each other well well it shouldn't be an issue.
I tell my wife that my not cheating on her isn't bcos of the hurt it would bring her; it's bcos of the hurt it would bring the God I serve. It easily settles any doubts that spring to her mind when she hears me talking to or is told that I was seen with another lady.
Ladies and Gentlemen run away as in run away from any so called ex. Most of them are not happy you moved on but they pretend to be just friends. My girlfriend warned me about my ex I didn't listen until I realized the evil she could do and how bitter she really was. Just stay away from them it's usually worth it at the end.
in my OWN OPINION there is nothing bad in communicating with your ex but when your wife is not happy about it, you should stop it, not every ex are bad, i still get in touch with some of my ex. they provided contacts that are useful for my business and i also did same.my wife is not against it, cos she knows what i can do and what i can't. people are different. so if your husband or wife say no to it, just stop it. simple as ABC. MY OWN OPINION.
Why did you marry your spouse? because they are your besfriend, anyone trying to hold on to that spot, from your past or present, who is of the opposite sex is a potential threat to the stability of your relationship. If you love your spouse, respect the boundaries you have both set for each other. they are called healthy boundaries. I mean let the other woman go and mind her business, and sort things out with her husband, it's not your problem, not your gist, women are tricky, beware, guard your heart, your love, your home, before you invite hell into it. A word is enough for the wise.
ok whats with the case of the exes today just got off a similar story on madamenoire.com...anyway my two cents exes are exes for a reason unless you have children together i don't see what yall could be communicating about on the reg...be cordial if you bump into each other a hi how are you is enough even if you share the same circle of friends like my ex tried to tell me when we were still dating (he was fb, skype and phoneceall buddies with his ex simply coz they shared the same circle of friends) i think all overly familiar communication between exes has to stop for your new relationship/marriage to flourish period
My hubby was close friends with one of his exes. She's married with 2 kids and keeps running to him wit her tales of woes about her husband doing this or that . Didn't like it but never complained till he got tired of taking her calls and started ignoring her. In his words," I'm not an agony uncle"it all depends on the man and woman in question, some are disciplined and harmless but some ...??? But if ur wife is uncomfortable wit it den cut all ties with her. Its not worth it
my husband kept in touch wirth a single ex. i complained and he said i didnt trust him. well one thing led to another and he started gbenching her. it almost broke up our marriage. NO is my own answer. by the time u realise what hit u the marriage is affected. and trust me ur wife will never respect u the way she used to. if u want ur marriage, its totally not worth it.
OKAFORS LAW! ONCE DEBE ALWAYS DEBE! DO NOT KEEP IN TOUCH WITH THEM! YOU HAVE BEEN INTIMATE WITH THEM IN THE PAST AND TRUST ME ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN!MY EX FIANCE RECENTLY GOT HIS EX GIRLFRIEND PREGNANT. HE CLAIMED SHE SEDUCED HIM .... AND I LEFT HIS SILLY STUPID ASS! U GUYS JUST SUCK! CUT ALL CONTACTS WITH UR EXES FOR THE SAKE OF PEACE AND TO AVOID TEMPTATION!
I have a question. I am in the same predicament as this out aunty, but its jst dat my ex is not married, he is in a relationship with someone esle, but he says he loves me but he will not break up with his present girlfriend until he is sure that i am committed and serious. We have been acting like a couple evr since but he still havent broken up with her. Should i wait around? He loves this oda girl. Or should i just move on?. I know he loves me very much.
well there is nothing wrong with being friends with ur ex if its platonic (which is a hard thing to do most of the time). HOWEVER, ur wife is ur priority now and anything she don't like gasto go!!!
It is wrong!! I made that mistake bin free wit my x husbands ex cos she was married wit kids n'he was also married wit kids, infact our kids go 2 the same school and attended each odas birthday,that was d'biggest mistake of my life becos dey continued were they stopped! At 1st i didnt believe until i started seeing strange messages and bank tellers he used 2 pay money in her account monthly. Wen i confronted him about it he said he was only helpin her giving her advise cos she complains her hus doesn't give her money. As a good wife i accepted the lies until breeze blow fowl yansh open! Dey were actually banging n'fell inlove all over again. So i gave dem dere space n'move on wit my own life! And that was d'best decision ve ever taken in my life cos im d'happiest woman 2day. Unfortunately d'gal neva divorced her husband 2 be wit him, so he lost both women n'his home. FoooooL
Every damn tin is wrong with it... 100%. Quite a number of guys do it n I cnt seem to comprehend it. They dnt even bother to know how the present gf/wife feels abt it. Its c'mon sense my dear, stay away! Shikena. Esp when ur spouce frowns at it. Let the past remain in the past. If she's bored or sometin, she shd call her hubby or call someone else. Why u??? A married man fa! Hia!
Very good Q. Linda, this issue caused my ex bf n I very serz probs. His 'Ex' keeps calling n he keeps answering. They can talk like 20x a day. I confronted him abt it n expressed my displeasure. Still, no changes. I later noticed that ALL his Ex's keep in touch with him even the married ones. Asking for a 'harmless' date n all. I just figured say this one no get anytin to do.the truth is: keeping in touch wit ur Ex can cause so many damages. Its beta u stay away! Wonder wat u both will b discussing abt sef. *hiss
My hubby kept in touch with his exes. When i complained he hit the roof saying i didnt trust him. well one thing led to another and he started gbenching a single ex. it was terrible and really affected us. its taken alot of work (especially on his side) to make it work. My ans is NO. if u love ur wife and want ur marriage to work then dont do it. its not worth it and ur wife will never respect and look up to u like she did b4
Call it quit,its simple or are you still interested? Its an issue u don't need anyone to advise you on b4 knowing that it shud come to an end. *wink* quits talking to ur ex.
I think its only an irresponsible man that will do that. You can't eat ur cake and have it. If your ex is so good why didn't u marry her? Why complicate things in ur home unnecessarily? Pls stay off! Stop calling and if they call, stylishly tell them to stop calling.
Wow! This just happened with me. I had to cut off the friendship with an ex cos I decided it wasn't worth keeping hubby unhappy. Now he is happy which is and should be ur priority.
YIU ARE DOING OLE OLOJU KOKORO YOU BETTER LEAVE DEM AND STICK TO YOUR WIFE ASIN THIS IS HOW IT ALL STARTS VERY SOON NOW DEM GO DEY FIND YOU TO GIVE DEM EMOTIONAL SUPPORT
My dear,I see nothing wrong in keeping in touch with your ex afterall you guys are not enemies once in a while you guys can keep in touch nothing bad atall my brother..all this people saying one same thing CUT OFF...if your wife is not happy with it that means she is insecure..if she truly loves and trust you she will not be afraid that you are in touch with your ex dem but the best thing duh is to inform your ex that your wife does not like it so you guys can look for another means to communicate while your wife is left in the BLUE.
Personally I think if ur partner is ok with it then fine. If not it's better to cut all contacts with ur ex.I am married and I still get in touch with my ex, my husband still calls his exes as well.....this was something we discussed and we agreed it's ok as long as we know where to draw the line.
ONOME says...... Keep in touch with your ex bawo?Is that really a question?
I dated my ex for over 10yrs.Unfortunately it didn't work out.I walked;he walked.I got married,he hasnt.He has since been trying to contact me and establish some form of communication with me via emails,calls,text messages,Facebook,LinkedIn,you name it!But I do not vomit and go back to lick it.WTH for?I have moved on.If he hasn't ;too bad.What are we keeping in touch for?To discuss what?
Abeg no make me vex jo;respect your wife and do the right thing.Cut off ALL communication.Your ship has sailed.Move on!
Yes oo, its allowed; all you need to do is to also advise your wife to communicat with her exes, after all no harm done. It is to find out how they are doing, they are her friends not enemies, and who knows they may come in handy when you are too busy with your exes to pay her attention. Mtcheeeeew.....who are you kidding ? rubbish
well i am in touch with my ex.nothing wrong with it.just bcos u arent dating anymore doesnt mean u can't be friens.u just know when to draw the line.for single people tho nt if u r married and whatever friendship u av with an ex has to be defined
Pls am I the only one that took notice of that picture? That guy's face kills me every time! Back to the matter at hand, I think you should severe all ties with your exes. If they need relationship advice or a shoulder to cry on they should see a shrink and get a dog(in that order). If your wife means that much to you, you would respect her feelings and stop communicating with them...ah ahn, not even one, but 2. If not all of them sef. Guy, mind yasef o
All I would say is that wouldnt u mind ur wife keeping intouch with her exs? I had d same experience with my hubby's ex calling d house to say hello, wot for? An ex is suppose to b a past, nothing gud can come out of d relationship, bcos along d line they still would end up talking about how one another were good in bed! B4 u know it some stupid ideals will start coming up in their heads! Resist d devil...
Not worth it, one called me up some yrs ago nearly destroyed my marriage, went too far with the discussion but to turn the rubbish on the head the foolish wife now wanted to be my best friend and start demanding for things, I just cut both of them off. The last time he called I told him I have moved on with my life and sent him a text. DON'T CALL ME AGAIN. SHIKENA!!! 419
If it was possible for me to stop my wIfe to cut off all contacts with her ex and friends,I would do that! The greatest threat to any relationship r meddlars who want to see ur rship crash! Any ex wether it is d husbands ex or d womens ex is always a threat to ur rship.If my wife won't get rid of them, I will imediately get rid of herfast so she can go and marry her ex!
Slow ur roll folks, I don't and have never seen anything wrong with talking to my exes, must all relationships end in marriage? Can't u fuck someone and not marry them; what happened to your primary school crush or high school bf/gf, if they are married and you are married can't you have them as family friends. Me I date people I wouldn't be ashamed to be associated with; therefore, they will always be my friend as long as we did not have a bitter break up. Are you going to make new friends all over because you are married, good friends are hard to find biko. Just because we did not end up in marriage doesn't make us enemies. I know I will never cheat on my wife with my ex, I have never cheated on a gf with an ex, just not my style. Especially because the chic will always regret it, so I look out for them amd that's why my exes always wanna be friends because I am no asshole and I don't date aholes.Its all u bitter people that don't know how to make life easy for the kids if marriage ends up in divorce just because u can't be friends with your EX, grow up.
Honestly, your wife has a point. Their marital status doesn't matter. Your marriage can still be dented by keeping close contact with your ex. If she calls you so frequently for advice, doesn't that tell you something.
there's nothing wrong with it. as long as you both dont have hidden intentions. but if your partner isnt happy/comfortable with it, then you have to stop it. you unfortunately lose rights to making sole decisions when you get married. everything is now done with agreement by both parties. so pls, if your partner says stop, then kindly stop.
I see nuin wrong wit talking wiv my exs...buh wen I'm married and my wife complains about it...I think I just have 2 stop. Its called respect. And I believe I owe my wife dt respect.
Come to think of it,even if nobody screwed ma wife b4 I married her,she may have kissed some dude and that qualifies him as an Ex! Do I want her talking to him after we r married? Hell Fucking No!
Can't Nigerians answer questions without insulting everyone? I have fucked a couple of ur gals and they seem nice and plolite to me. Could it be d cash?? Jamaican Boy NewYork.
Come to think of it,even if nobody screwed ma wife b4 I married her,she may have kissed some dude and that qualifies him as an Ex! Do I want her talking to him after we r married? Hell Fucking No!
Nigerians with the way we think. Seriously, i dont see whats so bad in u keeping intouch with your exes... As a man that has a good home, u should make ur wife understand the reason u communicate with just two of dem.. 70% of nigerian gurls dont think straigh n finds demselves where they dont expect...they need to get things together with the help of someone they knew and really trusted before the got hooked up with man the r married to. I do not blame the ladies neither is it wrong for a man to give advices n check on just two exes that needs his help mentally... U just have to make your wife understand.
Linda. NoNsense, weting be this na. since u cannot answwer my mails, answer me here then. what are your advert rates, I want to advertsie on your blog.
Seriously I dont think there's anything wrong with being friends with your ex. So the fact that you guys were once dating means you should be enemies now. Lailai, i no gree. I mean if you are happily married and she is also, then why cant you be friends. Now for the single lady, i'm not to sure you should be your friend, who knows she might have ulterior motives. NA for peace to reign in your family, you might want to just keep away from Miss Single
Marriage counselor, shey you are teaching her method to use in keeping the husband happy ko? How to cook for her husband, take care of other things and good sex ba? And the single ex, you are helping her and comforting her while she waits for Mr Right to come along shey? Ameeebo, no mind ya own business inside ya marriage and let them sort out themselves, na jeje trouble sleep wey yanga wan go wake am... You wan come join us to dey do marriage counseling for u Mchewwwwww
Dear sir, as a lady it doesn't bother me personally dat my husband is still friends with some of his exs. But my husband isn't you ad your wife isn't me. So, if your wife isn't comfortable with the friendship and your life doesn't depend on it, then for peace sake. Let it be and avoid calling or picking their call. You can even politely tell d exs your wife isn't comfortable with the friendship if it'll stop dem from calling. All d best
I have been on both sides of the coin. When I was younger, I use to be the partner who wouldn't stop keeping in touch with my ex(es), because I thought if there is no beef, why create one. Looking back now, I know it affected the relationship I was in at the time. As I got older, it finally dawned on me that exes are just that for a reason...
No matter how amicable your relationship with an ex is, it is best to cut all ties, especially when your current partner is uncomfortable with it. I know exactly how your wife feels, because now my partner wont stop talking to his ex(es), even after several arguments. I can tell you honestly that it is not a good feeling. I know a part of you, might think she is insecure, well maybe... Another part of you, might feel, "who is she to tell me who to talk to?" You might also be enjoying the attention you get from your exes, which is understandable. Bottom line is you have a wife who is in love with you enough to want you all to her self. I am sure, she is your wife today because she has certain qualities that none of your other exes had.
So please, honor her by cutting all ties with your ex(es). If it is the attention you crave, give your wife lots of attention, and I am sure you will get just as much attention from her.
Look I know its wrong but I won't blame the guy, its very hard for a man to move on from his st true love.I am man try walking in his shoes, till date until my ex got married behind my back I still think about her but we remain very good friends, we just laugh and gist but we try to avoid getting intimate plus her husband is away, adultery is very wrong and I dont want to incur his wrath upon me, recently I found a girl I really like,(early days though)sometimes she creeps into my mind.Can someone please advise me what to do to stop thinking about her?(Please be polite in your reply as LIB bloggers here tend to be the most abusive)I need advice
I think it's a NO thing keeping in touch with your ex neither allowing ur spouse to...even if u ve got no intention what about the other party and trust me guys, like someone said that once DEBE always DEBE, am kind of in a similar predicament right now keeping in touch with my ex and she's about getting married Feb but still want's me which was due to the communication i guess. If i was to take advantage of that by now i think something would have happened over and over again.. Pls keep your spouse away from their ex but at the same time all fingers re not same so it's individual difference.
I say when you shut a door pls keep it shut! People are exes for a reason. From personal experience it is not a good thing especially if you are single as you simply do not move on so I like to cut the ties. I was once dating someone but we broke up becoz his family didnt want him to marry me as I was from a different tribe. he later married a girl from his place but my ex says he finds it difficult to forget me. I miss him too because we really enjoyed each others company but now he is married I know I have to keep off. he continues to call from time to time but I have stopped answering because I realize he just calls becoz he wants to reminisce and sometimes (the audacity!) to ask me to do things for him! Psheeew! before you know it one thing will lead to another! So my advice is cut off all links with your ex. And let him/her remain just that!
Seriously? U have to be kidding me ! I can bet my life that ure not married. My dear, marriage is not a JOKE ! Its a covenant ! If dat makes any sense to you. U mean u'l go to the extent of snooping around and inventing new communication methods just to keep in touch with an EX? Is it worth all dat trouble? Then I'm wondering y de hell u guys Xed urselves in the first place. Punks like u need to quit giving advice. ISH !!!
U be correct Okpeke and your head no dey dia ! What kindda ish question is dis? That nigger is polygamist in nature ! Its chics like u dat make men feel like demi-gods ! Dump his ass in a sewage pit ! So when he's tired of you,he'l now say you weren't committed abi? U need to see a shrink sweetie.
Haba ! Na by force to advertise for her blog? Kilode? See local trouble o. Wetin u dey advertise sef? Abeg chill out. This bros get problem dey ask for advice, you dey her dey para for linda.
Some women marry out of convinience but their heart still lie with their Ex epsecially if he is awesome in bed.So that communication line with her Ex is just an avenue to leave the door a lil open for an eventual reunion,especially if her husband is lousy in bed! If u want ur wife to totally forget her ex,here r some vital tips, Suck her juicy cunt regularly!Finger her G spot,make sure ur Dick is Turgid for her to suck as Lolipop b4 u penetrate her and when u do,have a prolonged intimate romantic love making with her.When u cum, don't roll back to snore and sleep,Romance her gently and ensue that she is satisfied b4 u rest for d next round! If u do all of these,her Ex will be History!Oh by d way spank her ass when u guys r doing Doggy style! The spanking is her punishment for having an Ex b4 she met u. Try all of these folks it works.How do I know, cos I just finished doing ma wife and she crows abt how much she loves me like ten times a day!The issue of her ex is non existent with us!
you are an attention seeking egocentric fella. the only way to keep your wife thinking about you is by making her jealous(which you are obviously doing) lavish her with attention, treat her right and respect her by cutting ties with the exes; while @ that, build some self confidence. NEXT.
what ever it may be, some exs are exs bcos we were not destined to remain together, but they are nice ppl, so keeping in touch wont be bad, but the line must be drawn, memories can be deadly.....if its ur partner's problem, adjust and cut off entirely, a bird at hand......
I would have ask for ur hand in Marriage but i dont know u wella LINDA....see how ppl become bad belle, even if linda ikeji does not have stories and decides to put up a scenario which will teach us and brain tease,WHAT IS WRONG about it, Linda Continue, atleast they foul mouths are still hitting their tabs to see ur latest "rubbish". All Nollywood(home video) are such rubbish and ppl sit for hrs mooping at the screen with excitement. Ride on.
Truth be told, its a No No! Why, bcoz I've been in that situation numerous times. Sometimes its starts innocently without any hidden intentions but end up in Fucking each other again. But a lot of times people (mostly ladies) have hidden motives for keeping in touch, probably they can't get over u or end up realizing u r better than their husband they married bcoz of material reasons. And trust me a lot those will be secretly wishing for ur marriage to scatter so they can have their way with u or have u back fully or are just jealous & want to scatter ur marriage bcoz their r not happy with their own or situation(single girls). SO PLEASE LET US BE WISE AND NOT BE CARRIED AWAY WITH FOOLISH THINGS. YOU ARE MARRIED, SO RESPECT YOUR WIFE AND YOUR UNION!
PS: No let toto or prick wey u don fuck tire b4 b4 put asunder for wetin God don join together o!
I have been waiting for this , my gf doesnt want me to keep in touch with my ex also ,I dont see anything bad in it ,I find it very difficult to cut pple off totaly , thats me thats the kind of person I am no matter how crazy they are to me once in a while I still call to check on them . Abbey
i think you should cut all contact with your ex i am a guy and i will not like my wife still contacting her ex for what.what will they be discussing.just as i would not contact my ex or fix an appointment or meet in a place eatery or whatever without my wife knowing.this is a sin against her she should know everything you do.ask yourself will you like it if she says she is in contact with her ex i guess ofcouse you willl not so cut it off.
Personally, I don't think there's anything wrong with keeping in touch with your ex. I mean, if there are no strings attached then fine.
However, if your partner is uncomfortable with it, whether she's insecure or not, then you need to respect her feelings and stay away.
Plus, when you say "keep in touch" what do you mean? How often do you "keep in touch"? If it's once a week kinda phone call. Or a "hey, what's up, hope work is fine" on facebook, like twice a week, then that's cool. I wouldn't see why your wife should be jealous. And you can actually explain to her - show her pieces of the conversations you've had with your ex, that way she knows you have nothing to hide.
However, if it's like every day keep in touch, man, yo, that's weird. That's unethical. If your wife was pinging her ex boyfriends every day, or calling them every day, I sincerely doubt you wouldn't be suspicious.
Plus, as a guy, I know it's easier for us guys to say shit like "Oh, hey, there's nothing wrong with keeping in touch with your ex," but when it's the other way around, when your wife is keeping in touch with some dude that fucked her for like 3 years straight, now THAT becomes a problem. Lol
Me, well, I'm not married, so I aint gonna say what I will or won't do.
Wot are they checking up on u for?is that not wot ur wife is there for?u're making her redundant now.Are u a relationship expert that they want advise from u?pls stop excuses and do the needful.I agree with Barbie...SHUT the damn door!
As a young man starting out in this boyfriend/girlfriend business I figured out quite early that it was very important to move on after a relationship and do not go back there and my reasons were as follows: a. So I can truly close that chapter of my life and move on - that relationship ended for a reason b. To give my new relationship the chance to flourish - what chance do we have if I keep going back to EGYPT. c. Out of respect fro my new girlfriend d. Out of respect for the current boyfriend/hubby of my ex. We must always do to others what we want them to do to us. When you keep communicating with your ex, you have to remember that you are not the same people from the time you broke up. He has changed and so have you. Crucially also you may say that you do not have any intention to do hanky-panky, but that is YOU, do you know what his true intentions are? These actions destroys lives and marriages and makes men and women loose the respect of their wives and husbands - I can tell you because it happened to me. As a lot of people have said here, you run the risk of loosing the respect of your wife forever. Also, as others have said here, I can tell you categorically that your exes {both the married and single} simply want you for Sex and Money - Trust me, after its all said and done, you will remember you were forewarned on LIB
my ex keeps in touch once a while to say hi.he only realised that i was unique after i left him.he was dating another girl 5years into our relationship and he pushed me aside which made me leave. till today he still regrets his attitude towards me.i just answer him for the sake of forgiveness and the fact that av moved on and married now but he still lives wit the guilt of his past. let whateva is in the past be in the past. MOVE ON
in interest of peace, u should stop it, in d other let those ur exs become ur wife's friends, xpexially d married one, let both ur family nd her family becomes friends,as for d single one pls stay away if u love ur family, she might wants to come back xpecially if she has not found a partner nd u a doing well, i think it is risky for ur marriage my dear. God bless u.
wetin do ex, so someone u shared your bed with at some point is now an enemy u dont talk to all of a sudden bcos u marry....rubbish! i dare to differ on this, did bongos ikwe date mariam babangida or not, did he not talk to her b4 she died....i keep in touch with all my ex except the one wey be winch
Lin,Lin! I have a very confusing question to ask fellow LIBers: Dear LIB, Is the sky blue when the sun shines?? #that's how this man's question sounds to me!
All depends on the level of trust on both sides. I did keep in touch with my ex college girlfriend after we’d both got married to different people. As married couples, we met on several occasions. As there was transparency in our dealings, it seemed to work—although, I must admit my wife (I don’t know about her husband) was at times insecure. Eventually, she (the ex) and I cut off our links. The funny thing is that I don’t really bother checking who among my wife’s male acquaintances might be her ex. But she’s very nervous any time she suspects a female friend or acquaintance of mine may be an ex. I have never cheated with an ex (and will probably not do so), but this doesn’t seems to assuage her insecurity. If you think you should severe your relationships with your to preserve harmony in the household, you should.
There is nothing wrong when you have no bad intentions but if your spouse is not comfortable with it, you need to cut it off! Would you be comfortable with her doing that as well? Probably not!
Also, there are statistics which shows that the marital adultery occurs the most with exes
Cash your cheque- www.princessofzion.wordpress.com/2012/07/28/dont-miss-your-cheque
It always remains a dangerous game whenever you open a communication channel with your ex. Even when you have very sincere intentions, the devil has a nasty way of playing with our minds. It once happened to my, my married invited me to a private meeting at a restaurant, I knew immediately that it was wrong, so I simply did not turn up for the date. She rescheduled for about two other times and then I stopped picking her calls. The truth is that you can never be a solution to the problems your exes are going through. Your actions will only bring misery in your home - good luck.
Seriously i thought i was alone on this very issue...I am even frustrated too. My husband calls his ex every other weekend while at work. One day i confronted him and asked him why he said, linda is my best friend..Am like wat?? so am just a cook food and give u sex partner abi? They were fond of each other...wat rubbish? It is totally wrong. Men, I called the bitch and told her to leave my husband alone. I gave it to her o...i dont have time for too many english language. up until now, my husband doesnt know i did. She told me he calls to check up on her and even pray with her and encourages her that she'll find a man soon. My oga, wen u take become pastor i beg? Its an issue and when i bring it out to him he tells me i i have insecurity...So i have resolved in calling my exes too and talking to them in his presence let him see how it feels. am gonna be saying how i felt when i was with my ex. Maybe he would really dig my parole. We are just a yr and 6months married. What makes you feel I dont need counselling or encouragement? I am married but feel like am not. The time to talk to your spouse as in have a "we" time, U call some other lady to check up on them. Am doing my own back never..Make u chop the thing wey u dey give me too..Men can be very stupid at times. Later they tell me, Men need to be honoured...how now?
154 comments:
For the interest of peace. pls stop contacting ur ex.
My ex was still my friend till i noticed my hubby wasnt pleased with it one bit so i brot a very sharp knife n cut the contact
old fireweood burns faster. runnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!
is this a trick question or what? what will u and ur ex be discussing? pls my husband will not b allowed to continue contact wit all his ex dem or else there will b no peace in the house. i dnt talk to any of my exs.
please aunty linda follow my blog www.nellyozojie.blogspot.co.uk
thanks
This has caused conflict between my husband and I.Me,I don't want him keeping in touch with them cos if it's me,he wouldn't like me to do so.......shikena.
you should cut all ties with your ex. if your wife is fighting you about it why keep her?
Y will they be callin u? Re u a marriage counselor? Abeg...if y'all meet casually u can say casual hi...hello & kip it movin...notin more. Says Aduntos Via Metropcs LG Fone!
If she keeps in touch with her EX, married os single, will u take it?
Pls if u r sure u love her, u will respect her feelings
Hello fellow LIB reader,
The matter @hand is not to seek other people's opinion but to accord your wife the basic mutual respect required in a relationship.
You need to understand how and why your wife feels otherwise about the issue and not bring 3rd parties into it.
In my opinion sha, it is totally wrong and uncalled for, let sleeping dogs lie.
Cheers!
okay, mr man!! if your wife starts keeping in touch with her exes, will you be comfortable? quit these games and all you deceitful people should move on with your life. that chapter has been closed. so why do you keep on opening it ? to reminisce on old times ? STAP EET!
Bia Linda,it seems like when u run out of pictures to post n stories to post,u resort to 'Dear LIB readers' rescue remedy abi?u be real business babe sha!cos u know say for sure,u go get many hits for the rescue mission....na ur luck,enjoy ur mola.
I agree with bloglord, and as for the second anonymous. SO true. One day you will visit your ex or because she is asking for advice, you will meet one place. Then gist will finish, then u guys will start reminiscing how it used to be, then one thing will lead to another, one person will give the "just this last time" speech, and things will start to go haywire from there. if u r both single, then no wahala, to me sha.
cHECK OUT MY SKITS ON YOUTUBE. http://www.youtube.com/user/olsnetwork
It's not advisable at all. U̶̲̥̅̊ never can tell what ur ex has in mind. Pls get a sharp scissors and cut off d relationship if U̶̲̥̅̊ don't want a broken home.
It's not advisable at all. U̶̲̥̅̊ never can tell what ur ex has in mind. Pls get a sharp scissors and cut off d relationship if U̶̲̥̅̊ don't want a broken home.
do not keep in touch with your ex period! it is unfair to your partner. my own husband kept in touch with his ex even after we got married buying her gifts. it has affected our relationship so badly. if i mean so much to him, why hurt me by constantly keeping in touch with her?
I'll advise you to remember Okoro's law - Once debe always debe (translates to once you go there, you can always go back). LoL
Are you a shrink? If you are comfortable with your wife keeping in touch with her exes constantly no wahala. Just let her know she can hang out and "give advice" to her exes.
what is good for the goose.....
Haaaaa, once the Mrs does not like it, it is just best to cut it short or off...
This is a LAME question!...if you want to keep talking to your exes while you married, then your wife should start talking to all the guys that smashed abi na gbenshed her before you married her!
Dont see anything wrong with that now, huh?!!!IDIOT
I dont tink its bad if it is not affecting ur marriage in anyway.but if a party is not comfortable then its nice to cut off completly.not all ex are badnews
It,s not okay cos of present affair. No reason justfies the friendship. But I tell u,sometimes memory are great especially when you shared great times and just wonderful friendship. Just let go and stop any form of communication.
You know how I solved this problem? I started keeping in touch with my own exs. He got mad and understood where I was coming from. He stopped it and I also stopped it. Problem solved.
Most times people do not understand how their actions hurt others till they at the receiving end.
respect her opinion pls concentrate no your marriage.how would u feel if she do same
Tz common sense. NO! Stay away from ur ex! Would u like if her exboyfriend was always hanging around her too?
Linda,i know u will not post my comment abt telling u this sortof questions u bring up here are ur 'rescue remedies'or trump card u throw in when u are low on the stories department...na today?u sabi do 'selective posting'when it suits u n ur bank account.Na u sabi!
Bros no play with charcoal wey still dey bring smoke oh! On a more serious note I think u shud cut-off d relationships b/w u and ur exs now b/4 old layed to rest emotions resurface! U are seeing it as being friendly and platonic,are these ladies seeing it dat way? U can neva tell sometimes with women! So bros make u run oh becos soonest na ur shoulder dem go rest put dey cry and u go come dey pat dem 4 back oh!
Okafor's Law will make your wife worried and she should be! Advising ko, Checking up ni. The both of you are just testing the waters to see if you both can still hit that. Be honest and quit it.
Please let the exes be! Are they more important than who you are? It's never a good idea. Even i am fighting my partner over this matter.
I hate it when pple know what's right and act like they don't, like many persons said, if you would be okay, letting your wife be a counselor to her Ex, then you can continue being intouch with your else. Rubbish. If you don't like something, why do it to another?
When things go wrong,d first person to blame is d devil! Pls bros cut off dat communication link b/w u and ur exs now b4 old layed to rest emotions re surface!
I don't see anything wrong with you staying in touch with your ex, as long as you are true to yourself and your wife that you guys are just friends...I keep Intouch with my ex, he even introduced me to his girlfriend and I introduced mine to him and we hang out most of the time and there has not been any animosity. It might be different for other people but just saying mine
Ex's are like trash. When you take it out, you never bring it back in the house. That said, if an ex is in a position to add progress to your life or vice versa, I don't see anything wrong in being amicable and civil. I always love being the ex anyway cos I know her boyf or wateva will hate me.. Lol It kinda feeds my ego knowin he knows iv had her in worst ways than he can imagine
Y wld u contact ur EX? It wasn't gud enuf dats y she/she is ur ex. If they were gud then they wld stil b wi u. D married one cal 2 ask 4 advice r u a marriage councelor?
Well 4 mi.. I dnt feel comfortable contactin ur ex especially if she's prettier dan mi..lol.. Buh all my husbands exes r nat as preedy as mi.. So I won't even bug my head if he's seein his ex,
If derz an undastandin, u can c ur exes n b jst frends.
FLoBERRY don talk o.
Well I suppose you have to ask yourself what is more important to you, your career as a counselor to your exes...... or your wife's happiness and contentment.
www.lagosgirlromanceseries.blogspot.com
Its not! Xpecially if ur husband or wife isn't ok wid it.. N by d way,ow wil u feel if she's kipin in touch wid an x? Dats d questn u shud av askd ursef 1st!.. Na frm kipin in touch e dey stat den its graduates to romance.. Anyfin can happen, xpecialy if d x is ur 1st love. Pls stp d "kipin in touch" xcept say e get wetin u too dey fyn frm dem sef.
Mr Man! U knew u guys would still keep in touch in the future why didn't u tie the knot in the past?abeg better respect urself and ur marriage vows jare...
Hell yes it is wrong! Once de be always de be for men especially.
okoro's law states that 1ce chopped, can always chop and can be chopped anytime.
okoro's law states that 1ce chopped, can always chop and can be chopped anytime.
lol..my ex is my best friend now..so i duno how it will workout wen i gt maried cos i kno am definitely nt gona marry him..
Na u with her get d blog? If she decide 2 select d wheat 4m chaff,o gba sara gi? C painment °˚°Âºo!
Linda's Voltron
Abeg, abeg...people should start posting comments with sense.So because there is no story, Linda should turn herself into story?If she no post anything, u go complain, if she post, u will be crying...is there anything one can do to please u people?Abeg park well or vamoose from this blogsite before I open my eyes.Mscheeeew....
just because someone is an ex does not mean you have to burn the bridge with that person. Just because a relationship didnt work out with someone does not mean that person is a bad person...learn to keep all your bridges in tact, you never know when you might need them.
My ex bf keeps in touch wif his exes wen I don't, dis constantly brot quarels b/w us,he tells me she's hs very gud frnd,I decided to knock on his door. Early one mornin voila! He did'nt let me in,I was mad, afta he explained he did'nt want me to cause a scene,we made peace dat day.(Meanwhile I'v taken d girl's no from his fone awhile ago witout his knowledge. I went home, cald d girl up for a meetin..I found out dey were stil datin.they neva broke up.we decided to kip our meetin a secret and scheme( I felt pity for her coz she's dated him for more dan 2yrs..but she went b'hind me n told him all I told her*smiles*..we are over now..sounds like a movie huh..yeah ..I'm hurtin sha..but I knw I'll be fine.
It is not advisable to contact ur Ex for anything at all, cos it will compound more problems. So if u really love ur wife stay away from ur Ex, because contacting ur Ex can trigger off some chemistry and when u start enjoying her, u don get issues for ur marriage. For eg, i just call an old GF of mine BABYM That is, my baby, my wife saw it and i knw what happened so its better not to contact ur Ex.
Okay, the answer to the question is notjustok.com.I personally don't feel its right to keep in touch with ur exes.It's like a dog going back to its vomits.Anything can happen when such communication is not broken.It can lead to broken hearts, broken homes, adultery&many other things.Wisdom is profitable to direct.
When you
meet the right person for you that comes into
question ,Do you put your relationship at risk by
seeing ex partners ,My opinion is that you don't
have a long term plan for your current
partner ...think about it would you like it done to
you .........#youknowyouarewrong#
Maturity is key when it comes to handling such matters. Followed closely by trust. Even if the 3rd party has ulterior motives, so long as you and wifey understand each other well well it shouldn't be an issue.
I tell my wife that my not cheating on her isn't bcos of the hurt it would bring her; it's bcos of the hurt it would bring the God I serve. It easily settles any doubts that spring to her mind when she hears me talking to or is told that I was seen with another lady.
Ladies and Gentlemen run away as in run away from any so called ex. Most of them are not happy you moved on but they pretend to be just friends. My girlfriend warned me about my ex I didn't listen until I realized the evil she could do and how bitter she really was. Just stay away from them it's usually worth it at the end.
Okafor's law! Ibo dudes keep em cumin back.
QF
NOPE!!
Nothin gud'll come out of it...ul jst get ursef entangled.
in my OWN OPINION there is nothing bad in communicating with your ex but when your wife is not happy about it, you should stop it, not every ex are bad, i still get in touch with some of my ex. they provided contacts that are useful for my business and i also did same.my wife is not against it, cos she knows what i can do and what i can't. people are different. so if your husband or wife say no to it, just stop it. simple as ABC. MY OWN OPINION.
Why did you marry your spouse? because they are your besfriend, anyone trying to hold on to that spot, from your past or present, who is of the opposite sex is a potential threat to the stability of your relationship. If you love your spouse, respect the boundaries you have both set for each other. they are called healthy boundaries. I mean let the other woman go and mind her business, and sort things out with her husband, it's not your problem, not your gist, women are tricky, beware, guard your heart, your love, your home, before you invite hell into it. A word is enough for the wise.
If u like vex.u sure spoke my mind.
ok whats with the case of the exes today just got off a similar story on madamenoire.com...anyway my two cents exes are exes for a reason unless you have children together i don't see what yall could be communicating about on the reg...be cordial if you bump into each other a hi how are you is enough even if you share the same circle of friends like my ex tried to tell me when we were still dating (he was fb, skype and phoneceall buddies with his ex simply coz they shared the same circle of friends) i think all overly familiar communication between exes has to stop for your new relationship/marriage to flourish period
So if all LIBers say its owk and ur wife insists that its not which wud u go for? I am a man but i tink u don t respect ur wife...
My hubby was close friends with one of his exes. She's married with 2 kids and keeps running to him wit her tales of woes about her husband doing this or that . Didn't like it but never complained till he got tired of taking her calls and started ignoring her. In his words," I'm not an agony uncle"it all depends on the man and woman in question, some are disciplined and harmless but some ...??? But if ur wife is uncomfortable wit it den cut all ties with her. Its not worth it
my husband kept in touch wirth a single ex. i complained and he said i didnt trust him. well one thing led to another and he started gbenching her. it almost broke up our marriage. NO is my own answer. by the time u realise what hit u the marriage is affected. and trust me ur wife will never respect u the way she used to. if u want ur marriage, its totally not worth it.
*Okafors law
OKAFORS LAW! ONCE DEBE ALWAYS DEBE! DO NOT KEEP IN TOUCH WITH THEM! YOU HAVE BEEN INTIMATE WITH THEM IN THE PAST AND TRUST ME ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN!MY EX FIANCE RECENTLY GOT HIS EX GIRLFRIEND PREGNANT. HE CLAIMED SHE SEDUCED HIM .... AND I LEFT HIS SILLY STUPID ASS!
U GUYS JUST SUCK!
CUT ALL CONTACTS WITH UR EXES FOR THE SAKE OF PEACE AND TO AVOID TEMPTATION!
Let my husband try it and see if I won't go all Lorena Bobbit on his arse. Mschewwwwwww
I have a question. I am in the same predicament as this out aunty, but its jst dat my ex is not married, he is in a relationship with someone esle, but he says he loves me but he will not break up with his present girlfriend until he is sure that i am committed and serious. We have been acting like a couple evr since but he still havent broken up with her. Should i wait around? He loves this oda girl. Or should i just move on?. I know he loves me very much.
well there is nothing wrong with being friends with ur ex if its platonic (which is a hard thing to do most of the time). HOWEVER, ur wife is ur priority now and anything she don't like gasto go!!!
It is wrong!! I made that mistake bin free wit my x husbands ex cos she was married wit kids n'he was also married wit kids, infact our kids go 2 the same school and attended each odas birthday,that was d'biggest mistake of my life becos dey continued were they stopped! At 1st i didnt believe until i started seeing strange messages and bank tellers he used 2 pay money in her account monthly. Wen i confronted him about it he said he was only helpin her giving her advise cos she complains her hus doesn't give her money. As a good wife i accepted the lies until breeze blow fowl yansh open! Dey were actually banging n'fell inlove all over again. So i gave dem dere space n'move on wit my own life! And that was d'best decision ve ever taken in my life cos im d'happiest woman 2day. Unfortunately d'gal neva divorced her husband 2 be wit him, so he lost both women n'his home. FoooooL
E geras e b, Do me, I go Do U! Shikena, wt if d handshake pass hand cum dey go Elbow? #hmmn# Draggin ma Ear#
Every damn tin is wrong with it... 100%. Quite a number of guys do it n I cnt seem to comprehend it. They dnt even bother to know how the present gf/wife feels abt it. Its c'mon sense my dear, stay away! Shikena. Esp when ur spouce frowns at it. Let the past remain in the past. If she's bored or sometin, she shd call her hubby or call someone else. Why u??? A married man fa! Hia!
Very good Q. Linda, this issue caused my ex bf n I very serz probs. His 'Ex' keeps calling n he keeps answering. They can talk like 20x a day. I confronted him abt it n expressed my displeasure. Still, no changes. I later noticed that ALL his Ex's keep in touch with him even the married ones. Asking for a 'harmless' date n all. I just figured say this one no get anytin to do.the truth is: keeping in touch wit ur Ex can cause so many damages. Its beta u stay away! Wonder wat u both will b discussing abt sef. *hiss
Am so loving y'all LIBERS u guys seem to make lots of brain!
It is nt mandatory 4 u 2 open d post! Haba! Oya go n start ur own blog na...u either contribute 2 d post or move along! #rme#
Your home is on the line and u shud also have ur wife's interest at hand...quit man its unfair!!!
My hubby kept in touch with his exes. When i complained he hit the roof saying i didnt trust him. well one thing led to another and he started gbenching a single ex. it was terrible and really affected us. its taken alot of work (especially on his side) to make it work. My ans is NO. if u love ur wife and want ur marriage to work then dont do it. its not worth it and ur wife will never respect and look up to u like she did b4
Call it quit,its simple or are you still interested? Its an issue u don't need anyone to advise you on b4 knowing that it shud come to an end. *wink* quits talking to ur ex.
I concur. Abimbola O
I think its only an irresponsible man that will do that. You can't eat ur cake and have it. If your ex is so good why didn't u marry her? Why complicate things in ur home unnecessarily? Pls stay off! Stop calling and if they call, stylishly tell them to stop calling.
If your ex was so special why una no marry? When my ex married, I deleted him from all social networks. Its a closed chapter shekina!
Wow! This just happened with me. I had to cut off the friendship with an ex cos I decided it wasn't worth keeping hubby unhappy. Now he is happy which is and should be ur priority.
YIU ARE DOING OLE OLOJU KOKORO YOU BETTER LEAVE DEM AND STICK TO YOUR WIFE ASIN THIS IS HOW IT ALL STARTS VERY SOON NOW DEM GO DEY FIND YOU TO GIVE DEM EMOTIONAL SUPPORT
My dear,I see nothing wrong in keeping in touch with your ex afterall you guys are not enemies once in a while you guys can keep in touch nothing bad atall my brother..all this people saying one same thing CUT OFF...if your wife is not happy with it that means she is insecure..if she truly loves and trust you she will not be afraid that you are in touch with your ex dem but the best thing duh is to inform your ex that your wife does not like it so you guys can look for another means to communicate while your wife is left in the BLUE.
Personally I think if ur partner is ok with it then fine. If not it's better to cut all contacts with ur ex.I am married and I still get in touch with my ex, my husband still calls his exes as well.....this was something we discussed and we agreed it's ok as long as we know where to draw the line.
ONOME says......
Keep in touch with your ex bawo?Is that really a question?
I dated my ex for over 10yrs.Unfortunately it didn't work out.I walked;he walked.I got married,he hasnt.He has since been trying to contact me and establish some form of communication with me via emails,calls,text messages,Facebook,LinkedIn,you name it!But I do not vomit and go back to lick it.WTH for?I have moved on.If he hasn't ;too bad.What are we keeping in touch for?To discuss what?
Abeg no make me vex jo;respect your wife and do the right thing.Cut off ALL communication.Your ship has sailed.Move on!
it is not okay, let "bye gone be bye gone"
naijabreakingnews.blogspot.com
Wuh a stupid ?..how can yu ask such? Fwee ur exs n concentr8 on ur wife.accord er dat respect..dont stat wuh yu cant finish o.
my exes and i contact ourselves once in a while and if we do meet, it always end the same way... *wink*
PS... no partner of mine will be in contact with their ex
This is absolutely sensible...#Wordon!
Yes oo, its allowed; all you need to do is to also advise your wife to communicat with her exes, after all no harm done. It is to find out how they are doing, they are her friends not enemies, and who knows they may come in handy when you are too busy with your exes to pay her attention. Mtcheeeeew.....who are you kidding ? rubbish
well i am in touch with my ex.nothing wrong with it.just bcos u arent dating anymore doesnt mean u can't be friens.u just know when to draw the line.for single people tho nt if u r married and whatever friendship u av with an ex has to be defined
Pls am I the only one that took notice of that picture? That guy's face kills me every time!
Back to the matter at hand, I think you should severe all ties with your exes. If they need relationship advice or a shoulder to cry on they should see a shrink and get a dog(in that order). If your wife means that much to you, you would respect her feelings and stop communicating with them...ah ahn, not even one, but 2. If not all of them sef. Guy, mind yasef o
All I would say is that wouldnt u mind ur wife keeping intouch with her exs? I had d same experience with my hubby's ex calling d house to say hello, wot for? An ex is suppose to b a past, nothing gud can come out of d relationship, bcos along d line they still would end up talking about how one another were good in bed! B4 u know it some stupid ideals will start coming up in their heads! Resist d devil...
Not worth it, one called me up some yrs ago nearly destroyed my marriage, went too far with the discussion but to turn the rubbish on the head the foolish wife now wanted to be my best friend and start demanding for things, I just cut both of them off. The last time he called I told him I have moved on with my life and sent him a text. DON'T CALL ME AGAIN. SHIKENA!!! 419
All these Idle minds that leave the post only to talk abt Linda posting it due to low news or what not.I wonder wht ur minds are made of.Pity
If it was possible for me to stop my wIfe to cut off all contacts with her ex and friends,I would do that! The greatest threat to any relationship r meddlars who want to see ur rship crash! Any ex wether it is d husbands ex or d womens ex is always a threat to ur rship.If my wife won't get rid of them, I will imediately get rid of herfast so she can go and marry her ex!
I choro nno i ga good time. Ga-ebuo anyi oru. Si anyi dewe comment. Biko lota bia deere anyi something ka anyi guo. A maa m ihe na-eme gi.
=))º°˚˚˚°ÂºLmaoº°˚˚˚°Âº°Âº=)) at marriage counsellor!
My thots exactly,which kain checkin uP or mumu advise!
Its nt right joor
Biko abeg y should u b communicating with ur ex...small time if u and ur wife quarell u go go meet d ex for comfort...abeg let's b realistic..YB
Correct!
Why the word IDIOT, Its on called for. He is just asking for advice and nothing more.
Slow ur roll folks, I don't and have never seen anything wrong with talking to my exes, must all relationships end in marriage? Can't u fuck someone and not marry them; what happened to your primary school crush or high school bf/gf, if they are married and you are married can't you have them as family friends. Me I date people I wouldn't be ashamed to be associated with; therefore, they will always be my friend as long as we did not have a bitter break up. Are you going to make new friends all over because you are married, good friends are hard to find biko. Just because we did not end up in marriage doesn't make us enemies. I know I will never cheat on my wife with my ex, I have never cheated on a gf with an ex, just not my style. Especially because the chic will always regret it, so I look out for them amd that's why my exes always wanna be friends because I am no asshole and I don't date aholes.Its all u bitter people that don't know how to make life easy for the kids if marriage ends up in divorce just because u can't be friends with your EX, grow up.
Oga stay away o d rate at which girls are jealous these days Na war. Ex girlfriends wahala plenty
Honestly, your wife has a point. Their marital status doesn't matter. Your marriage can still be dented by keeping close contact with your ex. If she calls you so frequently for advice, doesn't that tell you something.
Hmmmn this is interesting as a guy I would strongly advise you to free all excess baggage cause the tension and drama is not worth it at all.
The message in the image says it all, anything can happen!
there's nothing wrong with it. as long as you both dont have hidden intentions.
but if your partner isnt happy/comfortable with it, then you have to stop it.
you unfortunately lose rights to making sole decisions when you get married. everything is now done with agreement by both parties.
so pls, if your partner says stop, then kindly stop.
Mr man u beta remove monkey's finger 4rom de soup b/4 it becomes human-finger.
blah,blah blah
I see nuin wrong wit talking wiv my exs...buh wen I'm married and my wife complains about it...I think I just have 2 stop. Its called respect. And I believe I owe my wife dt respect.
Cut it,u won't take it so don't dish it,Period!
Come to think of it,even if nobody screwed ma wife b4 I married her,she may have kissed some dude and that qualifies him as an Ex! Do I want her talking to him after we r married? Hell Fucking No!
FATHER LORD...I THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME A MAN THAT HAS SENSE!!
WTF IS THIS SO CALLED HUSBAND SAYING?????
WHY WOULD U KEEP IN TOUCH WITH YOUR EXES...WHY SHOULD THEY STILL BE CALLING YOU???
THERE IS A REASON WHY SHE IS YOUR EX
THIS IS WHY WE ARE ADVISED ABOUT HAVING TOOO MANY RELATIONSHIPS....SEE JAMB QUESTION
ANYWAY...THINGS LIKE THIS.....ENABLE ME TO THANK GOD FOR MY BABY...FLAWS AND ALLL....BECAUSE I KNOW HE CAN NEVER EVER EVER
ASK
SUCH
A
DAFT
QUESTION!!!!!!!
CHUKWU DAALU
Linda pls post ur email address,I want to send u a story
Can't Nigerians answer questions without insulting everyone? I have fucked a couple of ur gals and they seem nice and plolite to me. Could it be d cash??
Jamaican Boy NewYork.
Polite I mean
Come to think of it,even if nobody screwed ma wife b4 I married her,she may have kissed some dude and that qualifies him as an Ex! Do I want her talking to him after we r married? Hell Fucking No!
No stay away.......from ur ex.......nt advisable
Nigerians with the way we think. Seriously, i dont see whats so bad in u keeping intouch with your exes... As a man that has a good home, u should make ur wife understand the reason u communicate with just two of dem..
70% of nigerian gurls dont think straigh n finds demselves where they dont expect...they need to get things together with the help of someone they knew and really trusted before the got hooked up with man the r married to. I do not blame the ladies neither is it wrong for a man to give advices n check on just two exes that needs his help mentally... U just have to make your wife understand.
Linda. NoNsense, weting be this na. since u cannot answwer my mails, answer me here then. what are your advert rates, I want to advertsie on your blog.
Notin like ex relationship or friendship È‹̝̊̅§ better Ï„̲̅ђε̲ sleeping dogs lays
Seriously I dont think there's anything wrong with being friends with your ex. So the fact that you guys were once dating means you should be enemies now. Lailai, i no gree. I mean if you are happily married and she is also, then why cant you be friends. Now for the single lady, i'm not to sure you should be your friend, who knows she might have ulterior motives. NA for peace to reign in your family, you might want to just keep away from Miss Single
Marriage counselor, shey you are teaching her method to use in keeping the husband happy ko? How to cook for her husband, take care of other things and good sex ba? And the single ex, you are helping her and comforting her while she waits for Mr Right to come along shey? Ameeebo, no mind ya own business inside ya marriage and let them sort out themselves, na jeje trouble sleep wey yanga wan go wake am... You wan come join us to dey do marriage counseling for u
Mchewwwwww
Dear sir, as a lady it doesn't bother me personally dat my husband is still friends with some of his exs. But my husband isn't you ad your wife isn't me. So, if your wife isn't comfortable with the friendship and your life doesn't depend on it, then for peace sake. Let it be and avoid calling or picking their call. You can even politely tell d exs your wife isn't comfortable with the friendship if it'll stop dem from calling. All d best
Dear poster,
I have been on both sides of the coin. When I was younger, I use to be the partner who wouldn't stop keeping in touch with my ex(es), because I thought if there is no beef, why create one. Looking back now, I know it affected the relationship I was in at the time. As I got older, it finally dawned on me that exes are just that for a reason...
No matter how amicable your relationship with an ex is, it is best to cut all ties, especially when your current partner is uncomfortable with it. I know exactly how your wife feels, because now my partner wont stop talking to his ex(es), even after several arguments. I can tell you honestly that it is not a good feeling. I know a part of you, might think she is insecure, well maybe... Another part of you, might feel, "who is she to tell me who to talk to?" You might also be enjoying the attention you get from your exes, which is understandable. Bottom line is you have a wife who is in love with you enough to want you all to her self. I am sure, she is your wife today because she has certain qualities that none of your other exes had.
So please, honor her by cutting all ties with your ex(es). If it is the attention you crave, give your wife lots of attention, and I am sure you will get just as much attention from her.
i really think its no biggy as long as they arent tryin to sleep with eachother!
If trully its just to call and check on him,to me I feel its still okay oh.
Look I know its wrong but I won't blame the guy, its very hard for a man to move on from his st true love.I am man try walking in his shoes, till date until my ex got married behind my back I still think about her but we remain very good friends, we just laugh and gist but we try to avoid getting intimate plus her husband is away, adultery is very wrong and I dont want to incur his wrath upon me, recently I found a girl I really like,(early days though)sometimes she creeps into my mind.Can someone please advise me what to do to stop thinking about her?(Please be polite in your reply as LIB bloggers here tend to be the most abusive)I need advice
I think it's a NO thing keeping in touch with your ex neither allowing ur spouse to...even if u ve got no intention what about the other party and trust me guys, like someone said that once DEBE always DEBE, am kind of in a similar predicament right now keeping in touch with my ex and she's about getting married Feb but still want's me which was due to the communication i guess. If i was to take advantage of that by now i think something would have happened over and over again.. Pls keep your spouse away from their ex but at the same time all fingers re not same so it's individual difference.
I say when you shut a door pls keep it shut! People are exes for a reason. From personal experience it is not a good thing especially if you are single as you simply do not move on so I like to cut the ties. I was once dating someone but we broke up becoz his family didnt want him to marry me as I was from a different tribe. he later married a girl from his place but my ex says he finds it difficult to forget me. I miss him too because we really enjoyed each others company but now he is married I know I have to keep off. he continues to call from time to time but I have stopped answering because I realize he just calls becoz he wants to reminisce and sometimes (the audacity!) to ask me to do things for him! Psheeew! before you know it one thing will lead to another! So my advice is cut off all links with your ex. And let him/her remain just that!
Seriously? U have to be kidding me ! I can bet my life that ure not married. My dear, marriage is not a JOKE ! Its a covenant ! If dat makes any sense to you. U mean u'l go to the extent of snooping around and inventing new communication methods just to keep in touch with an EX? Is it worth all dat trouble? Then I'm wondering y de hell u guys Xed urselves in the first place. Punks like u need to quit giving advice. ISH !!!
U be correct Okpeke and your head no dey dia ! What kindda ish question is dis? That nigger is polygamist in nature ! Its chics like u dat make men feel like demi-gods ! Dump his ass in a sewage pit ! So when he's tired of you,he'l now say you weren't committed abi? U need to see a shrink sweetie.
Olodo ! I've fucked a couple of your girLs too and they seem nice and polite too . You're right, Maybe its the money too. Nigerian boy
Haba ! Na by force to advertise for her blog? Kilode? See local trouble o. Wetin u dey advertise sef? Abeg chill out. This bros get problem dey ask for advice, you dey her dey para for linda.
Hehehe. U dey fear abuse.
Some women marry out of convinience but their heart still lie with their Ex epsecially if he is awesome in bed.So that communication line with her Ex is just an avenue to leave the door a lil open for an eventual reunion,especially if her husband is lousy in bed!
If u want ur wife to totally forget her ex,here r some vital tips, Suck her juicy cunt regularly!Finger her G spot,make sure ur Dick is Turgid for her to suck as Lolipop b4 u penetrate her and when u do,have a prolonged intimate romantic love making with her.When u cum, don't roll back to snore and sleep,Romance her gently and ensue that she is satisfied b4 u rest for d next round! If u do all of these,her Ex will be History!Oh by d way spank her ass when u guys r doing Doggy style! The spanking is her punishment for having an Ex b4 she met u. Try all of these folks it works.How do I know, cos I just finished doing ma wife and she crows abt how much she loves me like ten times a day!The issue of her ex is non existent with us!
you are an attention seeking egocentric fella. the only way to keep your wife thinking about you is by making her jealous(which you are obviously doing) lavish her with attention, treat her right and respect her by cutting ties with the exes; while @ that, build some self confidence. NEXT.
what ever it may be, some exs are exs bcos we were not destined to remain together, but they are nice ppl, so keeping in touch wont be bad, but the line must be drawn, memories can be deadly.....if its ur partner's problem, adjust and cut off entirely, a bird at hand......
I would have ask for ur hand in Marriage but i dont know u wella LINDA....see how ppl become bad belle, even if linda ikeji does not have stories and decides to put up a scenario which will teach us and brain tease,WHAT IS WRONG about it, Linda Continue, atleast they foul mouths are still hitting their tabs to see ur latest "rubbish". All Nollywood(home video) are such rubbish and ppl sit for hrs mooping at the screen with excitement. Ride on.
Truth be told, its a No No! Why, bcoz I've been in that situation numerous times.
Sometimes its starts innocently without any hidden intentions but end up in Fucking each other again.
But a lot of times people (mostly ladies) have hidden motives for keeping in touch, probably they can't get over u or end up realizing u r better than their husband they married bcoz of material reasons. And trust me a lot those will be secretly wishing for ur marriage to scatter so they can have their way with u or have u back fully or are just jealous & want to scatter ur marriage bcoz their r not happy with their own or situation(single girls).
SO PLEASE LET US BE WISE AND NOT BE CARRIED AWAY WITH FOOLISH THINGS. YOU ARE MARRIED, SO RESPECT YOUR WIFE AND YOUR UNION!
PS: No let toto or prick wey u don fuck tire b4 b4 put asunder for wetin God don join together o!
#AsAdultsLetsBeWiseAndTryToPutAsideFoolishThings#.
BigMouth
realbigmouth@yahoo.com
I have been waiting for this , my gf doesnt want me to keep in touch with my ex also ,I dont see anything bad in it ,I find it very difficult to cut pple off totaly , thats me thats the kind of person I am no matter how crazy they are to me once in a while I still call to check on them . Abbey
No please, continue with your ex. If you are so compatible dat you can't cut ties, then why did you break up in the first place? Ye ye. dey smell.
i think you should cut all contact with your ex i am a guy and i will not like my wife still contacting her ex for what.what will they be discussing.just as i would not contact my ex or fix an appointment or meet in a place eatery or whatever without my wife knowing.this is a sin against her she should know everything you do.ask yourself will you like it if she says she is in contact with her ex i guess ofcouse you willl not so cut it off.
Wow!!
How dumb can one child be?..dude!!U are d definition of dumb..thumbs up!!...NEKS
Personally, I don't think there's anything wrong with keeping in touch with your ex. I mean, if there are no strings attached then fine.
However, if your partner is uncomfortable with it, whether she's insecure or not, then you need to respect her feelings and stay away.
Plus, when you say "keep in touch" what do you mean? How often do you "keep in touch"? If it's once a week kinda phone call. Or a "hey, what's up, hope work is fine" on facebook, like twice a week, then that's cool. I wouldn't see why your wife should be jealous. And you can actually explain to her - show her pieces of the conversations you've had with your ex, that way she knows you have nothing to hide.
However, if it's like every day keep in touch, man, yo, that's weird. That's unethical. If your wife was pinging her ex boyfriends every day, or calling them every day, I sincerely doubt you wouldn't be suspicious.
Plus, as a guy, I know it's easier for us guys to say shit like "Oh, hey, there's nothing wrong with keeping in touch with your ex," but when it's the other way around, when your wife is keeping in touch with some dude that fucked her for like 3 years straight, now THAT becomes a problem. Lol
Me, well, I'm not married, so I aint gonna say what I will or won't do.
Wot are they checking up on u for?is that not wot ur wife is there for?u're making her redundant now.Are u a relationship expert that they want advise from u?pls stop excuses and do the needful.I agree with Barbie...SHUT the damn door!
As a young man starting out in this boyfriend/girlfriend business I figured out quite early that it was very important to move on after a relationship and do not go back there and my reasons were as follows:
a. So I can truly close that chapter of my life and move on - that relationship ended for a reason
b. To give my new relationship the chance to flourish - what chance do we have if I keep going back to EGYPT.
c. Out of respect fro my new girlfriend
d. Out of respect for the current boyfriend/hubby of my ex.
We must always do to others what we want them to do to us.
When you keep communicating with your ex, you have to remember that you are not the same people from the time you broke up. He has changed and so have you.
Crucially also you may say that you do not have any intention to do hanky-panky, but that is YOU, do you know what his true intentions are?
These actions destroys lives and marriages and makes men and women loose the respect of their wives and husbands - I can tell you because it happened to me.
As a lot of people have said here, you run the risk of loosing the respect of your wife forever.
Also, as others have said here, I can tell you categorically that your exes {both the married and single} simply want you for Sex and Money - Trust me, after its all said and done, you will remember you were forewarned on LIB
Once an ex always should stay so
my ex keeps in touch once a while to say hi.he only realised that i was unique after i left him.he was dating another girl 5years into our relationship and he pushed me aside which made me leave. till today he still regrets his attitude towards me.i just answer him for the sake of forgiveness and the fact that av moved on and married now but he still lives wit the guilt of his past. let whateva is in the past be in the past. MOVE ON
in interest of peace, u should stop it, in d other let those ur exs become ur wife's friends, xpexially d married one, let both ur family nd her family becomes friends,as for d single one pls stay away if u love ur family, she might wants to come back xpecially if she has not found a partner nd u a doing well, i think it is risky for ur marriage my dear. God bless u.
anything that brings a fight between you and your spouse should be avoided, an ex usually brings problem just cut the ties.
Goat,whts the blog for,
wetin do ex, so someone u shared your bed with at some point is now an enemy u dont talk to all of a sudden bcos u marry....rubbish! i dare to differ on this, did bongos ikwe date mariam babangida or not, did he not talk to her b4 she died....i keep in touch with all my ex except the one wey be winch
mtchhewww!
Infact i don tire 4 this question!
Lin,Lin! I have a very confusing question to ask fellow LIBers:
Dear LIB,
Is the sky blue when the sun shines??
#that's how this man's question sounds to me!
it's like saying your dog died but you still wanna keep it
All depends on the level of trust on both sides. I did keep in touch with my ex college girlfriend after we’d both got married to different people. As married couples, we met on several occasions. As there was transparency in our dealings, it seemed to work—although, I must admit my wife (I don’t know about her husband) was at times insecure. Eventually, she (the ex) and I cut off our links. The funny thing is that I don’t really bother checking who among my wife’s male acquaintances might be her ex. But she’s very nervous any time she suspects a female friend or acquaintance of mine may be an ex. I have never cheated with an ex (and will probably not do so), but this doesn’t seems to assuage her insecurity. If you think you should severe your relationships with your to preserve harmony in the household, you should.
There is nothing wrong when you have no bad intentions but if your spouse is not comfortable with it, you need to cut it off! Would you be comfortable with her doing that as well? Probably not!
Also, there are statistics which shows that the marital adultery occurs the most with exes
Cash your cheque- www.princessofzion.wordpress.com/2012/07/28/dont-miss-your-cheque
hjjj
It always remains a dangerous game whenever you open a communication channel with your ex. Even when you have very sincere intentions, the devil has a nasty way of playing with our minds. It once happened to my, my married invited me to a private meeting at a restaurant, I knew immediately that it was wrong, so I simply did not turn up for the date. She rescheduled for about two other times and then I stopped picking her calls. The truth is that you can never be a solution to the problems your exes are going through. Your actions will only bring misery in your home - good luck.
Seriously i thought i was alone on this very issue...I am even frustrated too. My husband calls his ex every other weekend while at work. One day i confronted him and asked him why he said, linda is my best friend..Am like wat?? so am just a cook food and give u sex partner abi? They were fond of each other...wat rubbish? It is totally wrong. Men, I called the bitch and told her to leave my husband alone. I gave it to her o...i dont have time for too many english language. up until now, my husband doesnt know i did. She told me he calls to check up on her and even pray with her and encourages her that she'll find a man soon. My oga, wen u take become pastor i beg? Its an issue and when i bring it out to him he tells me i i have insecurity...So i have resolved in calling my exes too and talking to them in his presence let him see how it feels. am gonna be saying how i felt when i was with my ex. Maybe he would really dig my parole. We are just a yr and 6months married. What makes you feel I dont need counselling or encouragement? I am married but feel like am not. The time to talk to your spouse as in have a "we" time, U call some other lady to check up on them. Am doing my own back never..Make u chop the thing wey u dey give me too..Men can be very stupid at times. Later they tell me, Men need to be honoured...how now?
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