I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 3years now.Some months into the relationship he asked me to wait for him till 2011/2012.We had our differences and disagreement sometimes which is normal in a relationship..Last year he introduced me to the dad and told me that the dad will make family inquiries in December last year. The parents already knows my family as the dad is a very close friend to two of my uncles.I love this guy with everything in me.He's the first man i've ever given my body and my heart.I'm not getting any younger as i'm already in my late twenties.I have a good job, fully independent and ready to settle down.Ist week of june after i came back from my vacation,i asked him where the relationship was heading to as his attitude towards me changed a bit.I only asked him to define the relationship,so at least i know what i'm doing.
He told me that he's not fully convinced,not ready and have not taken any decision yet.He asked me to give him time to take decision.Ever since then we don't communicate well.I call once in a while why he also calls once in while.
He came back and requested for the relationship to be restored back to normal and i refused and told him that i can't continue till the relationship is defined.I told him that i'm ready to accept a break up if that was what what he wants.He came back after a week and asked if we can still be friends if we break up.I refused initially but later granted him that but he now said he does'nt want a break-up.The sister tried asking him what the problem is but he refused to open up.I decided to break up with him and move on no matter how painful it will be.
I broke up with him and after the break up he called to say how sorry he is and how he much he wants the relationship to be restored.Now he's saying i should forget anything that has to do with marriage or defining the relationship,that he will define it soon in his time or i should at least grant him friendship.I asked him if we become just friends as he's requesting,does it mean i can go ahead and open up to another man that is interested and his answer shocked me the more.He said "if someone else proposes before me and you lie him,you can go ahead and marry him".It was over the phone so i ended the call and told him to leave my life alone and that i can't be his friend.He sent me a text later saying that its the pressure from me that is making him uncomfortable,not that he does'nt want me anymore.I'm heart broken and really love this guy.I can't date two men at the same time,so i have to leave hin in other to date another.I'm very confused.Should i give him more time or move on finally with my life?
168 comments:
move on dear he aint feeling you again and is not just coming out straight..dont be surprised that while you are waiting he suddenly marries someone else
Move on my dear......he's a time waster.
Sweetie Please move on..... If he wants to commit, He would have. Never wait for anyone to make you an option if someone else can make you a priority.
The nerve of some men!
Do yourself a huge favour and stop running back and giving him a chance. Im sure you have a good heart and you want to share the love in you. Stop worrying about your age.
I hope you get the strength somehow and find TRUE happiness elsewhere!
GoodLuck!
This one no ready o. No waste ur time. Please, he has told u everything u need to know. Don't let him blame u for anything. If he really loves u he won't tell u r pressuring him or ask u to agree for someone else. My dear, the handwriting is on the wall. U will only have urself to blame in the future if u stick around.
How old is he? Sounds pretty childish and empty to me. Sista pls move on odawise e go waste ur life well well. I smell a stinky grey fish
Give him a break and also take a break and dont date anyone. Just relax urself abit
A MAN WRITING;PLEASE WHO WILL HELP ME TELL GIRLS THAT THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN "DATING" AND "SEX"? THE MISTAKE OUR LIB READER IS MAKING HERE IS SIMPLE; OPENING HER LEGS IN THE NAME OF "DATING". THE MAN (PARDON "BRAT")HAS "LICKED THE HONEY" SO WHAT ELSE? PLEASE LEARN YOUR LESSONS AND MOVE ON. BY THE WAY, YOU SAID "MY BODY"; IS THE BODY REALLY YOURS? THIS BODY BELONGS TO GOD AND YOUR HUSBAND (A MAN WHO HAS PAID YOUR BRIDE PRICE)1 Cor 6:19-20
19 Do you not know that your body is the temple (the very sanctuary) of the Holy Spirit Who lives within you, Whom you have received [as a Gift] from God? You are not your own,
20 You were bought with a price [purchased with a preciousness and paid for, made His own]. So then, honor God and bring glory to Him in your body.
AMP
Nne are you still sleeping on the bike.pls move on he may already be in anodai r/ship . u just haven't caught him yet.expect u r waiting to catch him ohhhh.
Pls move on cos I don't think he want to settle just yet or maybe he does not ♥ you enough for marriage,if not he won't be beating around the bush like dat,
SISTER, THIS VIDEO WILL HELP YOU;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cqy8uHQbqAA
LOTS OF LOVE
Best advice:As much as this is easier said than done dear u have to move on.if he comes back good but dont keep declining othrs n waiting for him.learn to define reality from what u feel.and with tking this decision of moving on since u still lov him u can pray he has a change of heart n comes back.goodluck
as a guy,i can confirm that he just wants to have his cake and eat it too. move on dear
ONOME says.........
i couldnt even read your full epistle.Too long.What i can surmise from the little i read is that you and your supposed beau keep making up and breaking up.
Move on dear,there is no future in this relationship
A relationship is better when the parties involved define where it's heading.Shine your eyes to d signs..let your love be OBJECTIVE.
Hes not into you anymore, and doesnt want to take reponsibility to tell you, please you will heal and you will find someone who adores you and worships the ground u walk on. Dont think the problem is you, you have too much to give and he is too shallow to see it, or his already found someone and was waiting for you to get tired and walk...
My dear! Deep in ur heart, ur instincts don't lie,and reading this, u kno u already want to move on, u just want me to convince u by giving u reasons to do so.....my dear move on...and don't look back, hold that heart of urs fearless and Yes, there is a Man for Everyone, another will certainly come, it may Tarry, but He will Come!...just be patient.
This story is not straight
As a guy it seems like the guy is confused.he prob has anoda babe bought looking for the better one between u both. Be smart and open up to oda guys. Forget about him nd move on. Cam be ur sex partner tho ;).lol
Where is princessofzion on this issue when u need her on this blog, she has some deep relationship advice on her blog...but em, *that blogname*; princess of zion*,just gives one this jesusfreak scare...anyway, sha,chek her blog,u'l b glad u read it.
ANON July 22, 2012 7:52 PM
PLEASE SHUT UP YOUR DIRTY MOUTH.... LICKED YOUR HONEY KE...KMT
THAT BIBLE PASSAGE IS REFERRING TO THE BLOOD OF CHRIST...HE PAID THE PRICE FOR ALL OF US...HENCE BOTH MALE AND FEMALE.
EVEN IF WE WERE TO GO WITH YOUR INCORRECT DEDUCTIONS, THIS BABE IS NOT MARRIED YET, SO WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU BRING THE HUSBAND MATTER INTO THIS FORUM?
SO STUPID...NEXT!
DEAR LIB READER,
IM SORRY.. I KNOW IT SUCKS...BUT SOME YEARS DOWN THE LINE YOU WOULD BE THANKING GOD.
PRAY MORE ABOUT IT, IF UNSURE...BUT ITS OBVIOUS HE ISN'T SERIOUS...YOU ARE A SMART BABE AND SEEM TO HAVE YOUR HEAD SCREWED ON..SO PLEASE DO NOT LET ANYONE DESTROY YOUR DESTINY.
STAY AWAY FROM HIM,.....HE IS NOT SERIOUS..FOCUS ON YOU AND GOD AND THE RIGHT MAN WILL COME.
THE HARDEST DECISIONS WE MAKE NOW, ARE ALWAYS THE ONES THAT IN FUTURE WE ARE GRATEFUL TO GOD THAT HE MADE US TAKE THEM
I'll attend to you when you learn to write proper english
Linda,please if you won't take the pain to edit all these retarded stories,don't bother to put them up.Thanks
this relationship has "no happily ever after"
if a man truely loves u and wants to truely marry u, he wouldnt be comfortable that u are seeing someone aside him that might even want to propose. my dear, please leave ds guy and move on. he is just goin to keep wasting the time u dont have.
MOVE ON! forget him.
U can talk about epistle onome? Buahahaha funny lass
My sis,move on fast,if u dont,u might find his wedding IV under his pillow after a romantic nite wit him.Men are jerks,they dont want to take the responsibily for anything,not even for break ups in a relationship.you will find someone who deserves YOU and ur love.All the best.
Move on dear, he's seeing another girl which he met when you went on vacation and his mind is not made up on the one he wants. The reason why he keeps coming back is because he knows you love him and he gets good sex from you. Any man who wants you will damn consequences.
WONU: ı thınk he stıll loves u but d pressure u putın on hım ıs too much en he dos nt even knw wat he wnts. ı knw u are close to 30yrs but just let hım thınk and decıde ınstead of jumpın to anoda man dat wıll marry u ın less than a year of courtshıp whıch dere ıs no love. Love and tolerance ıs all dat matters as far as am concern. But everytın needs paryer dou.
Just STFU whu needs ur advıce ıdıot. Its a blog and no one needs grammar here.
Please give him more of your life to waste.
To me, the problem is financial problem on the side of the guy otherwise, he would 've propose. Anyway give him time and see if things will work out good for he and if he didn't acted. Then u're free to date or look for someone else. Goodluck.
Guys DONT like pressure and would resist it with all they've gat.
Nnem,move on Ơº°,biko just move on wif ya life ... Dz guy is def not serz nd not ready 2 settle down,Jezz he has gotten d milk free,y buy d cow!huh? It ll hurt like fuck buh @d end of it all u'll b mighty glad u did.Take da hard road! ...AdaMmadu¤
Simple answer: Move on.
Most men (of marriageable age) know within 1 month of meeting a woman whether or not they can marry her. 3 years is certainly more than enough time to "define" a relationship.
I suggest you go cold turkey, change your phone number if you have to but let go of him. There's no need to be friends with him while you're healing and to be honest, I'm convinced that he wants to remain friends of the beneficial kind, not the agape kind. Besides friends don't play emotional games like he is doing with you. You would be extremely foolish to maintain contact with him in short.
While you're getting over him, I suggest you stay free and clear of men for at least 6months and in that time rediscover yourself and figure out exactly what you want out of life, not just a relationship. You'll find that when you know and have defined yourself, you will not enter easily into any relationship that doesn't meet your criteria.
Thank God for this experience, its really a chance for you to get the best from life instead of being a forced choise.
Heyyy Teju where hv u been? Wlcm bck!! Mwaaah
Baby,three years is a long time and if you had gotten married 3yrs ago I'm sure by now you wud v two kids,the guy is neither nor cold,its better you move on,though its not easy,but its a bold step and you have to take it. All the best ,abeg d person when dey preach(anon 7:52PM),we go beg open ur private blog 4 u e hear,make u dey quote bible passage there..msthewwwwww
My sentiments exactly! Dear Lady, pls don't let him BRAND you. Other men may be interested, but they'll see you as 'taken' end it and flaunt your availability.
@Q, ur as senseless as ur tots are, sm1 is pained anD narrated her exp for pple to help her out of her emotional burden and ur here saying her words r not well grammered, woz english to u? Is dat ur language, can u b 100% in wriring it? So y coming to a blog wia pple feels free to make caricature of ones emotional problem? Sure ur not better of d writer, but u hv chsn to remain FAKE, linda plz delete dat nasty contrbtn such a joykiller mshewww
He doesn't want to be in a relationship with you, that's the truth. He's not confused, he's just too much of a coward to be straight with you. Cut him off and move on, you'll be glad you did later on in the future. You deserve better than this guy.
And you Q,I hope you don't get into such mess someday and if you can read and know there are errors it simply means you should be able to understand the write up,funny enough you sound like the retard here,Mr abi na Mrs school....abegi shift make person read beta comment.
Baby,three years is a long time and if you had gotten married 3yrs ago I'm sure by now you wud v two kids,the guy is neither nor cold,its better you move on,though its not easy,but its a bold step and you have to take it. All the best ,abeg d person when dey preach(anon 7:52PM),we go beg open ur private blog 4 u e hear,make u dey quote bible passage there..msthewwwwww
Pls move on d guy is up 2 no good
Your opinion would most likely have been retarded too..so don't worry..I don't tnk she wld miss it..keep it to urself..:)..NEKS
datz g gurlz version,d boiz own pls...
Hi dear,
The situation sounds unfortunate! From the sound of things, it seems he isn't ready to marry you! This may be due to a number of factors- marriage phobia, pressure, someone else in the picture. We can't know unless you intimately discuss with him.
I advise you to put your cards on the table, if he doesn't respond favourably, move on and pray! God will either restore or bring somebody else!!
Painful? Yes! But it has happened to all of us but today we are living, breathing and many of us have transitioned into better and more loving relationships! That is what God wants! Steadiness, commitment and love; not confusion!!
It is well!!
If you want further info, join us at www.princessofzion.wordpress.com
We talk about all these issues; you're also free to email me princessofzion@rocketmail.com
God bless you!!!
Excelling as a parent- http://princessofzion.wordpress.com/2012/07/21/excelling-as-a-parent/
@Q...Wetin dey do you sef, you be Shakespeare??? If the story is retarded, why did you bother to read it all....mtcheww, Moreover, there are some punctuation errors in you comments, so remove the log from your eyes first. Some people sha.....Nonsense!!!
Q If the write up Wasn't clear enough to you, you must really be dumb. If you don't have positive comment to contribute, then don't write anything. it's not by force. Dumb..s.
My dear friend, forget about that guy, he is not worth it. His eyes are somewhere else already. Take it from me. You'll find someone better. Thanks
My dear, don't walk, RUN.... You'll find someone else that will adore and want to marry you sharp sharp. What's love got to with it when he's not fully committed to you. RUN!!!!!
He's trying to emotionally handcuff you. Why does he insist on staying friends with you after you've broken up? So he'll have a way back into your heart. He doesn't want to man up and do the right thing by you. Please move on and find someone who is willing to commit to you on your own terms.
9jadeltapikin...@make up by teju me too don wonder say wia princess zion Ooº°˚˚°ºoo cos ds na her field make she come summarise evrybody comment α̲̅πϑ pray 4 ds lib reader Ooº°˚˚°ºoo. Anyway Lib reader I will advice U̶̲̥̅̊ move up with U̶̲̥̅̊я life α̲̅πϑ better still if U̶̲̥̅̊ meet sm1 else abeg U̶̲̥̅̊я body Ȋ̊§ d temple of d lord from day1 make t clear that t Ȋ̊§ sex after marriage I bet U̶̲̥̅̊ the guy that loves U̶̲̥̅̊ will definetely wait. Α̲̅πϑ keep having faith wth God once U̶̲̥̅̊ r alive there Ȋ̊§ hope.
Ik... Ma sista...move on wit ur life! Leave dat broda alone!
The story is shady' but 1 thing I don't understand is y females are always so quick to say 'move on'? If u move on 2 anoda guy n its d same case, u move on again? You continue moving on until more than half of the community has sampled u and when u finally meet 'Mr right' u reckon he will want to take 'community property' n put in his house as wife? 4 ur info men 'talk' oo! And 4get what u see in d movies o, no real African man in his right senses will put a woman that has a nasty history in his house, even d 1s that do cos of 'love' sleep with 1 eye open! A 'real' woman can make her man do anything unless he was never really urs.........
follow your inner peace dear, and you know its only ur side of the story we know. i;m a lady by the way.
maybe you too have changed and have becoming all naggy and clingy about the situation so much so that he may be wondering if u want to marry him for him or just get married for the sake of it.
truth be told, no one can fully understand what transpires between a man and woman in a relationship cos it can not all be expressed by mere words.
follow your inner peace dear, and you know its only ur side of the story we know. i;m a lady by the way.
maybe you too have changed and have become all naggy and clingy about the situation so much so that he may be wondering if u want to marry him for him or just get married for the sake of it and that is enough to scare him away.
truth be told, no one can fully understand what transpires between a man and woman in a relationship cos it can not all be expressed by mere words.
Please move on it is obvious he is jst sleeping with u. U knw guys can be wicked I'm sure u r jst his sex partner he is nt going 2 marry u, break up with him and God will give u a better partner.
See this idiot...abeg Q or whatever u call urself...go and take a chill pill ...person dey ask advice u dey there dey yarn twat....English na ur mother tongue?...Ode!
plz move on
STUPID should b ur Middle name!
my dear i feel your pain. Have u considered maybe he has AIDS that's why he is scared to commit himself. It is well darling.
Anon 7.47. U took the words outta my mouth.
Well said, case closed. Move on
You are fool to be dishing out advice without getting the full gist, except ofcourse u read it all and u are forming for us. How u take know say future no dey if u no read d epistle finish?
Thank God u have sense and backbone, he wants to be a friend with "benefits" OR he's dating someone else on the side,either which one he has clearly stated that he doesn't want a defined relatonship with you,I think there lies your answer.
Ur guy has a 'BOYFRIEND' Period!!!..
I rily feel for u cs I know ow hard it is for u to invest ur emotions on sme1 who is not sers...bt swthrt u need to move on...ul find sme1 beta who will make u feel so much happier
Wt is wrong with u..y r u so immature..d fact is u can understand d msg she's tryin to convey so y r u makin noise....pls go n av a seat smewhere
Babe,move o. U are strong willed and that will really help u out. Dear readers,let's stop been rude to ourselves. We can always make our points without insults.
move on wit ur life, sweetie. it's plain to see dat he's not committing anytime soon.
I'll say this, I'm a man. I'm about to get married after close to 5 years in d same relationship. We are happy now. Only yesterday we were talking and telling ourselves how close we came to destroying our relationship. I was scared of getting married. We see a lot of atrocities so called marriageable girls commit ( not saying men don't commit such too) . Don't listen to everything pple say here. The final decision rests with you. You cannot Pressure a man to marry u the same way a man cannOt pressure a girl to marry him. Let ur heart decide. My fiancée decided to stick at me tru all my insecurities about marriage. Now we are about to tie the knot. Most people advising u on dis blog are not even married. Give him a chance. U can even sEt a timeline. The important thing is that u are good to him and stop nagging. The way I see It, u've nagged the hell out of him. Keep ur options open too. I u feel u've met someone better, please move on. BUT THINK. Remember d saying: the devil u know is better than d angel u don't. If he treats u well and does not cheat, give him a lil' more time. This is just my own peice based on my experience! Goodluck to u no matter what u choose.
One word of advice, u can't force a man to marry u... Trust me, if he wanted to marry u, u won't have to go though all these.... Besides, life is too short to put all ur eggs in one basket, u shld keep ur options open. Stop wasting ur time on a man.... I bet there are still some gd ones out there... Speaking from experience.
That sounds like Wale!
The truth is dt he's nt serious,move on!
Babe, a broken heart is better than a broken marriage. This guy is obviously a time and life waster and not ready 4 any responsibility, I only feel sorry u had given him ur body.
Basic lesson: all men are d same. Move on with your life and apply head sense not heart sense to ur future relationship. Tkia
And be mIserable abi,Mr or Mrs Adviser!
Dnt mind dis one oh,end it or continue,no sitting on the fence
Babe, pls move on with ur life. This guy is obviously a time and life waster and not ready for any responsibility, I only feel sorry you gv him ur total self (body, soul nd spirit)
Basic lesson: all men are the same. Apply ur head sense not heart sense in ur future relationships.
Move on and open ur eyes to better things ahead.
Babe, a broken heart is better than a broken marriage. This guy is obviously a time and life waster and not ready 4 any responsibility, I only feel sorry u had given him ur body.
Basic lesson: all men are d same. Move on with your life and apply head sense not heart sense to ur future relationship. Tkia
please for Christ sake Waka and pack well with ur life.ur so called Man is confused and a time waster jst thank God he told you on time.
You are simply desperate. Like he said you get him confused with your incessant questions. It is like marriage is your main goal of d relationship...and once achieved whatelse? Maybe that's what your fella is thinking.
Q pele o,the story is retarded because you are not in her shoes.she doesnt need your advice cause from ur response people like me already know what will come out of your grammatically stinking mouth.shio
@LIB Reader; this ya write-up is giving me serious headache. What's all this primary school english - 'and then he go, and then I come, he now call, I now cut the phone, he now beg, I say ok'
*yawns*
*strolls off to other L blog*
As a guy, it is most likely that he is in a dilemma and there is another girl involved. it is painful but u should move on for your own good. I doubt someone who loves you as much would put you through such. plus commit this situation to God.
Big time time waster...i've always said it doesnt take a long time for a guy to decide if he wants to be with you.
Prof., how come your first paragraph has no fullstop?
Hmmm...
Q u r a jerk.... a bully....an ugly person certainly.... and maybe d guy in question.
Chic it wont b easy but u have to move on.
This is quite simple, the guy is no longer in love with you. He just finds it hard to let go. If you don't put your self together
and move on, you will cry every day if you end up with him. Sorry girl,better now than in future. Wish you find true love soon.
The guy is really scared of ur English..any sane man after reading dis will run so this ur English does not give them heart attack..
Q or what ever you call yourself English is not any thing compared to one's feelings. You can keep quiet if you don't have any thing meaningful to say
Pls can i have your number? Are you single? You make sense die!!!!!!!
Q, X, W, or watever u call urself. Wats ur problem? Must u comment? Is this supposed to be an English Examination hall or a blog. Fine, her English is bad, but do u nt understand her story? (i doubt it cos u sound very stupid and daft). Why nt gv ur own piece of advice (thats if u have one cos u need one urself) and move bk to the market whr u sleep? How hard is that??? Some mumu people forming nonsense sha. Attend to ur dumb ass first. ANU MPAM!!! .................. Sisi Linda pls post my comment, i dey vex. Thank u.
@ Ivory Chi, How do you know this person is smart? Do you know her personally?
Noone can be 100% smart. If she is that smart, she won't be asking the question.
To you Lady, I think you should give him a break, it seems you are forcing this give to quickly propose and marry you. Marriage is not something you want force a man to do trust me, it should deeply come from his heart.
On the other hand, he he truly want you, he should have given you some assurance and probably propose too.
Good luck with your decision. You know what to do in yoyr heart.
BB
My dear that needs help. Abeg respect urself and leave the coward. Men of these days are nt worth it. Move on with ur life and be happy cos thr are better things ahead. BE GOOD
Truth is... He has another gurl.. But he really likes you and he is taking his time to make a decision.... Simple.. If you really love him.. I think You should fight for him and keep him.. It is not easy moving on at this stage.. But if the pain is too much and You cant stand him dilly dally-ing, then please move on and the fastest way to do so is to delete him entirely from your life with no further communication and crazy as it may sound, GET A REBOUND.... ASAP....
My dear,please talk to ur legs and move on I'v been in a relationship like this and it was really time wasting..the truth is the guy is not ready to be committed and don't force him..please move on and let God help u find the right man,u will b thanking God when u look back..he is jst a boy that wants to play don't let any boy tie u down in d name of love or shld I say 1st luv...move on and don't look in that direction ever again..----YB
My friend, do you need a brain transplant to realize that he's not that into you? C'mon, preserve whatever shards of dignity you have left and fashie his side jor!
Baby Girl, i could imagine what you're going through.. In my own opinion,this relationship wouldn't be worthwhile... In one of your sentences,you were like ''he tells you to forget anything that has to do with Marriage.! Abeg, move on with your life..Think deeply about it,pray, follow your heart,trust ur instincts and make the right decision! Goodluck! :)
My dear u are a sharp geh.....buh i need u to b sharper now.
Dat 'thief' boy...sorry....guy wants to kip on eating wat uv got(ur body) while he keeps on looking for a NEW CHASIS(girl) to marry...
so sweetheart i nid u to dust off ds CONFUSED CHILD....oops....GUY from ur lyf....or else.... ''o ga eme gi vam na anya''
**chynell**
Go back to him for one more time,shag him so well,suck him so good,then after its aLl over look at him straight into d eyes and tell him to fuck off,its over. And u must mean it.
Abadon the fool and leave!
People sha., I wonder Y people can b so quick 2 judge without even asking d right questions. Do u knw if d guy has a gud/steady income?she din't state dat in ha write up...plus she said and I quote, "I have a source of income and I'm independent" does dat mean anytin 2 anybodi?she also said we av some minor fights dat r common in a relationship. I can't conclude or judge o, but I don't think a guy dat isn't ready 2 marry u, will not take U home 2 his parents, taking u home actually means it mus have crossed his mind @ some point. My question to you now is....Do u love d guy enough to want chill for him?If ur eyes dey turn afta jes 3years omo u neva redi b dat ooo......plus u claim 2 b old nd u r still in ur twenties, wot if u leave him and d next pesin doesn't marry U.......omo marriage no b competition. My advice 2 u, come down from ur high perch, cum down 2 d bobos level.....if U guys r meant 2 get married, b'liv me He'll marry U..........tee wai
My dear, this nigger doesn't give a fuck about you. He is a coward who cannot tell you the truth.He just wants your ass for the time being before he moves on. That is what this useless men do..fool you until they are done. A man who loves you will not let you go that easily.. If both of you are Nigerians, you know Nigerian men are aggressive when they are chasing after women..so my dear, the fact that he is nonchalant means he is not interested in you.
Please do not wait for any man. You will always get disappointed! There are always more women available and that is why men have no problem finding the next borehole to insert their toti into. Sometimes, it takes we African women a long time to find love again, because we have being taught to always wait to be approached by men. Please leave the coward. He's not man enough!
He told u that he is " not fully convinced" and u still hanged around???! Ladies pls don't do this to yourselves, don't put yourselves all out there body and soul and then wait for the guy to decide what to do u with you. Both of u should be on the same page from the beginning, u dated for 3 yrs it doesn't take that long to figure out where the relationship is headed. Pls be wise and run out of that relationship, and don't even bother with prayers, common sense is all u need.
I believe you shud do both. Move on and also give him time. some guys are veru frightened of commitment. again u have to search within yurself if he is worth it. Give him a lot of space not time, then he would understand wat a treassure u r and he will propose.
Ladies when u αяє 24 & above, don't date a guy to young to settle down, & don't date a guy more than 1 year witout defining d rtnship. Cos time waits 4 no one, nx thing u know u αяє in ur 30s & praying 4 a husband. By then men will be playing u, cos they perceive u as being desperate. So ♍Ɣ dear beta move on wit ur life now & don't make that 3 years rtnship mistake again, cos u αяє now looking @ it like u ve invested a lot into it. Ladies be wise abegi
I beg, ride on with ur life, because people like thet are mostly time waster. So delete the bastard from ur mind and move on, irrespective of the lost or what it will cost u. It is well with ur soul. Amen
Am so in ur shoes right now! Sweetie I feel ur pain! Ama tell u what I did. I left him few months ago. Its hard but believe me, no matter how much u love some1 else remember to love yourself more.
My fellow LIB reader,don't let him fool u.I dated my own wife for 9 years but it has been defined from the start.pls move on coz there's no time.dat fool is out to waste ur time
Sounds like a tricky situation.... He doesn't seem to be coming out directly. Infact, it seems like he doesn't appear to be doing any talking at all. In my own experience, most guys that seem to want to commit but are holding back usually do so because they aren't being entirely open and honest about their finances.
By introducing you to his dad, it would seem like he takes you seriously, and he would love to settle down with you eventually.
He might want to get married, but don't let anyone fool you, if the bills are not getting paid, or if you're carrying the greater financial burden in your marriage, you'd have a very very miserable marriage.
My dear, 90% of the fights couples have in a new marriage is because of money. Even when you're expecting and prepared for these issues, the fights still keep coming and they would, until he's making at least enough money to please his ego as the provider of the family.
Don't forget that he's going from thinking about just himself to you and possibly children, and they certainly don't come cheap.
If he loves you, he won't want you to lack, or suffer, or have a lower standard of living because you are with him. For most responsible men, giving you money equals love. If he can't provide for you, he'd feel emasculated.
Try talking to him again... Let him know you understand the financial responsibility marriage places on a man.
If that truly is the reason for his hesitation, pray about it... And let him understand that for as long as man has needs, money will never be enough, but God has a way of making things come together in your best interest if you believe in Him.
A man who takes pride in being a man, and being the provider for his family will always want to be at a certain level financially, before taking such a huge step as marriage, but sometimes, you just have to bite the bullet and pray for the best.
If finance is the real issue behind him blowing hot and cold, and you still decide to go ahead and get married, you'd need plenty prayers, the grace of God, a lot of patience and a lot of perseverance.
Good luck doing the right thing and may God guide you in the right direction.
Ma dear, d 1st thg u hv 2 do is clear ya head of d age thg b4 it leads u 2 taking a decision u'll refret in ya entire life!
A man wil marry yu;age irrespective.
Abt ds dude,its clear he doesn't luv yu n do not want 2 go further...move ahead dearie...d right guy is jst der waiting 4 ya!!! Gudluck...
Jeeezzzz! Must u answer to every write up? Who cares abt ur opinion when thr re hundreds of reasonable pple here? As "good" as u claim to be,did it ever occur to u dat English is written wt a capital "E"? No one is perfect n ds blog isn't for English n Literature neither did she ask for correction frm her English errors. Dear,u suck!!! Slikky
d devil u knw is beta dan d angel u've nt seen. Who knws weda d new guy will be more hamful dan d one u left... Think twice.....
@ Q U̶̲̥̅̊ ar a big RAT.English mistress. И̲̮̣̥̅̊Ơ̴̴͡ attend to anytin becos U̶̲̥̅̊ be correct federal idiot.Beta person.ITK
Maybe if you don't let marriage define you as a person, you'd be happier.
Always confused as to how naijas see marriage as the be-all and end all. Abi you didn't gain anything from a relationship if it didn't end up in marriage? You learnt nothing about yourself, he did not improve you in any way?
Marriage: Fucking people up since 1AD
I've been the guy in this sort of situation before. My then girlfriend who is now my wife gave me an ultimatum which I just simply could not work with as far as I was concerned being financialy ready was very important but she didn't see it that way, she felt that everything would work out right. She had a good job but my business was just starting and I felt I should use my savings as capital to expand and not to bankroll a wedding.
I did what this guy did told her if she found someone else and liked him to move on because I felt at the time that without financial stability there would be serious strain on our marriage which there already was while we were dating because I would opt not to travel abroad when I could use the money to buy more machines to increase production.
After a few months of separation where both of us realised we were meant for each other she compromised on the size of the wedding and I also compromised on having all the money in the world.
My advise is for the lady to have a heart to heart with her boyfriend and find out what his fears are and understand them. For the gentleman, if you love her there will be no one else like her and it is almost impossible to find someone who loves you unconditionally which is how I see your girlfriend. Hold on to her you both have a rare gift of each other, this is the time to exploit it.
Well, if you stay with him, you'll be running the risk of possibly accepting something that is not true and on the contrary, if you move one, you could be running the risk of rejecting something that could be true...
What to do? Stay with him and do what most girls do, which is to be on the lookout for a bbd (bigger better deal). That way, if a bbd comes along, then you move and if no bbd, then you stay as it is very possible that the guy will wake up some day. To move with no alternative can backfire. From what you have described, i have no doubt that the guy is into you, his problem is like that of most guys. The fear of loss of freedom.
I've been the guy in this sort of situation before. My then girlfriend who is now my wife gave me an ultimatum which I just simply could not work with as far as I was concerned being financialy ready was very important but she didn't see it that way, she felt that everything would work out right. She had a good job but my business was just starting and I felt I should use my savings as capital to expand and not to bankroll a wedding.
I did what this guy did told her if she found someone else and liked him to move on because I felt at the time that without financial stability there would be serious strain on our marriage which there already was while we were dating because I would opt not to travel abroad when I could use the money to buy more machines to increase production.
After a few months of separation where both of us realised we were meant for each other she compromised on the size of the wedding and I also compromised on having all the money in the world.
My advise is for the lady to have a heart to heart with her boyfriend and find out what his fears are and understand them. For the gentleman, if you love her there will be no one else like her and it is almost impossible to find someone who loves you unconditionally which is how I see your girlfriend. Hold on to her you both have a rare gift of each other, this is the time to exploit it.
Move on sweerie,it is well
If after a year of dating and one can't make up their mind if they want it for the long term then don't want it at all, it is a different case when you want for the long haul but you don't have the means to make it happen. Please so so move on.
You have the wisest answer. That's the same thing I would have said to her. She should pls take her time and see what God has for her its not a crime if you do hold on to yourself for a while. Marriage is not as easy as we think and never ask a guy to marry you. Allow him to ask you to marry him or else you blame yourself in the future and he'll blame you for forsing him to marry when you're both not ready to settle down or haven't understand each other so well. So abeg, if you don't want him
@anon 8:01, I understand exactly what u're saying. Met this guy recently who is in this on and off relationship wt his girl for 5 yrs. He's obviously tired of his relationship but is too cowardly? to break it off. Guy's been waiting for d girl to do the honours. Poor girl's worse than our LIB reader, she keeps begging and crying for him to give them another chance. My point is, he's obviously not feeling her anymore but can't tell her off but wants to keep me as an option for d day d chick finally comes to her senses. I on d other hand have come to my senses. Gave him an ultimatum 2 days ago. He can't eat his cake and have it. Even though I love him dearly, I've just got to move on with or without him. And if i were his girl, I'd drop him fast. He's gonna loose both ways at d end of d day.
Dear LIB reader, I'm sorry for the epistle. This guy might not be worth your while. Dump him fast and I hope you find love. I hope I do too.
Oya now, let d yabbings begin.
When u have to resort to asking a man where ur relationship is headed,its a bad sign..it means u don't know where u stand.in healthy relationships,u don't need a soothsayer to tell u if he's gonna marry u or not.
My verdict,walk away now
Q shut ur stupid trap,Dis is not an essay writing class fool.
Please Move on, I dated a man for 6yrs frm university till 3 yrs ago. Finally decided to leave him and remain single. I got married last year at age 30 to the best man I've ever dated and I'm pregnant for him. U are not old at all. Leave him now.
@Q, u don't have to blame her writing or good English to attend to her, remember she's under stress right now and secondly, some cld be a typographical error, it happens sometimes... Anyway bck to d topic of d day: my dear, it's simply obvious, ds guy is an indecisive fellow... I can bet u he has another chick somewhr and he's just bidding time whom to make up hs mind and finally be with... Men r like dat esp when they r in multiple rships and like all d chicks at d same time, so when itz time for serious biz of marriage, it simply becomes a prob for them... My advice is simple: just move on wt ur life, it ain't easy for smone u lv so much but in future u' ll be happy u did....
pls move on with you life accept jesus as your lord and saviour and present your body as living sacrifice only to him then he will bring the mr right to you he never fail.forget about that guy he is not ready he just want you for sex only am a guy i can read between the line sex sex sex no love at all just take it this guys heart mind and soul is somewere else
@ Q... you are heartless,foolish and selfish.
My dear I can smmell a looser from a mile away, I was in that kind of undefined relationship as well, asked the dude where 4ward after 3 yrs and he said the same thin that d dad will do some investigations blah blah blah, i gave hime 4 onths and nothing came out of it, I have since moved on, married and with a son now.........he's still very single and is not ready to settle down, so take a cue from me and infact run on not move....cheers.
This sounds exactly like my story, I asked my ex once if he see's us settling down in the future and his answer was "if you see someone that wants to marry you go ahead but am not ready now" he got married 9months later. My dear I'll advise you to move on NOW cause he has someone else, this is coming from someone who had the exact same experience, time heals but keep your head up and move on. God bless.
U've jst shown urself 2 d world that u r a retard urself. Mumu, ode, ozuo. If u don't hav anything reasonable 2 say Y comment @ all? D lady in questn is seeking 4 advice not criticism. Village teacher.
hey girl forget that guy and move on.this life is short ,have a strong heart before some one End it for you.
July 22, 2012 8:15 PM sometin must be wrong with you for saying linda should edit the english so you mean you cant understand what this lady wrote asin even an illiterate can understand the story. very simple a man deceived her for 3 years and wants advice is that too much to understand mschew!!!!
anyway for the lady am glad that you have woken up please run for your dear live for this guy would keep you on the side for years and would never marry you do not waste your time asin he has indirectly told you that he would not marry you so my 2 pence is start again and forget this frog called a guy and dont even offer to be his friend erase him off the radar stupid man.....
All this stories really get me so upset...what is it abt being in ur late twenties? Will that be compared to being tied down with someone that is not into u???? Or getting a broken heart when you catch him with another woman? A broken relationship is beta than an unhappy marriage. Babe, look gud,feel gud in ur own skin and some hot dude will look ur way. That u end a relationship of 3yrs means wot? Wat abt ended 5yrs or 9yrs relationships? And the victims are now happily married and grateful to God that they took the bold step. MOVE ON
if only we can be all sincere with our selives whn it comes to relationships.like the person who quoted the bible said. we youth need to lay off sex, and its always easier said than done.that does not mean a young man who date's a young lady and have sex with her should leave her 4 another bcos he has done it with her, its makes no sense, if she is good 4 u for sex why cant he or she be good for u as a husband or wife. no body will love to be dumped, no body.and by choosing sex becos of ur partner, that means u chose him or her over God. i really want to practice wat i preach. so my dear i knw its not easy to let go after this long. but pls just try.do other tings u like at ur spare time so as not to tink too much off him, if u are in ur late 20's bleive me u are still very young my dear. and if u want want to give him another chance, stop telling him abt marriage and stop having sex with him, go out with him, play just have fun and enjoy it having it at the back of ur mind that it might not work, although he knws ur intention already, he might come off the fear som day soon. open ur heart to other marriage age guys too, and do it with out sex too, u might find love, u never knw where they might be.
Abeg aunty/uncle Q so d oda peepz dat has been replin r nt learned hun evn if she made typographical error in some paths cnt u use ur brain 2 understnd nd advise her dats all she needs,on to d next one.Dear lib reader I will advise u 2 move on cause 4rm d look of tins d guy is confused I tink he has som1 else nd if he should out of pity nd d fact dat u guys av been dating 4 long marry u my dear u wil regret d marriage all ur life cause he wil always act lyk his doing u a favor my dear u av 2 wake up 2 d reality of lyf *ACT LIKE A LADY AND THINK LIkE A MAN*
Linda, please tell her to move on joor. That joker is simply using her as a masturbating machine
If your boyfriend no dey do you well Away Mr Q hold your breaks na so for 9ja with your english wettin you achievce aproko wire....
Let go LInda he doesnt deserve like VIP if you boyfriend no dey treat you well...AWAY Mr Q let am like dat na so we 9ja people like am with your Cambridge english wettin you done achievce aproko wire dem don send u... Keep d good work.
im ggoin tru the same thing..dated someone for 2yrs only to tell u he aint ready to marry yet and dat he cant give a definite time..gal move on they are called time wasters soon a man wld come who wld love u and is ready to own u......
I personally think you are putting too much pressure on this guy, so he thinks you're desperate to marry, I think you should calm down a little bit. He might love you so much, but he's just trying to be careful, slow down a bit my dear, slow down.because when a girl is deperate to marry,I was in a relationship like this for 3 and a half years. And at the 2nd year I began to feel uncomfortable like you. But I spoke to my mum and she asked me to calm down. And I did and at the end he proposed to me. We are married now. So just slow things down.
Onome u couldn't read her long epistle but yet u went ahead to give ur dumb advice, i bet you're wanting to be noticed #okbye
hey u! Gerrout from this blog if only what u've got to show is to flaunt ur dummy ego, #attention seeker!
shit! WTF! i don't even understand what u writing sef, re u d only one using BB?
#pass the mic abeg
July 22, 2012 10:45 PM so it took you 5 years to determine well you are fortunate most women would have left
to the lady start smelling a rat for that is what this guy is so leave immediately. don't be deceived at the start of a rel it takes only 6 months for the guy to determine if you would be a wife material or not yours has gone on for 3 long years and yet he has still not decided
Maximus u don kolo Lmao!!!!! I like d way u don't bother commenting below you just put your comment under d first commenter so ppl can see it. Smart girl...and I bet the above commenter will think ur replyn his/her comment not knowing you'r jst usin theirs to make urs visible (how u doin maxi? Am a fan)
thank God u know that u wrote rubbish, and you're already expecting yabbings, idiot! Go get life joor, d one u ave now ain't urs, mumu...
#pass the mic abeg
As for me,i think it is better to forget dis guy nd move on wit ur life, he is just playing on ur emotions, he knew u loved him dats why he is taking u for granted. quit d relatioship nd move on wit ur life.my dear if a guy u a dating opens his mouth nd says if anoda guy comes u can go ahead wit him, to be honest wit u dat ur guy does'nt love u again. pls becareful in a short time u will meet a better guy. it is well wit u.
As for me,i think it is better to forget dis guy nd move on wit ur life, he is just playing on ur emotions, he knew u loved him dats why he is taking u for granted. quit d relatioship nd move on wit ur life.my dear if a guy u a dating opens his mouth nd says if anoda guy comes u can go ahead wit him, to be honest wit u dat ur guy does'nt love u again. pls becareful in a short time u will meet a better guy. it is well wit u.
Ohhh la la! Mon Dieu! Dis story smacks familiarity n over coincidence! Esp wit DIS 'DEFINITION' THng n defining wer d relationshp is n where its goin! Is it per chance dat 1 of our very own naija artists has been rantin about definin relationshps om his TL!!? LIB complainant a gal, naija artist a guy! Hmmmmmmmmm(sips alomo n watchin)
May God bless you for this advice. This is d most level headed response so far. Half the pple telling her to move on are single or in bitter marriages.
So many men go thru insecurities in deciding to marry and if the lady keeps pressuring it gets worse. My dear stop giving him ultimatums or timelines for marriage. Jst relax and enjoy d rship. What makes u think u'll meet another man who's better? Like dis Anon says, if he's not cheating and treats u well stay wit him. If after 5yrs dis person has committed, ur man will come around soon! If u leave him nw u both will be miserable. He may jst be the right one for you.
Like I said earlier, d popular opinion may not be d best. Even on 'who wants to be a millionaire' the audience gets it wrong most of the time. Disregard dis 'move on' crowd. All the best
I totally agree. Marriage is on her mind too much. She's not giving the guy breathing space. Please follow the advice of other pple and break up with him for his own good, he doesn't need someone like u around him.
U said he took u to his pple and u're still doubting? He's jst confused and going thru a phase. Give him time, if u can't move on and let him be. Why are u so desperate? And BTW dnt kid urself the nxt guy will marry u sharp sharp, men can smell desperation frm a kilometre away.
haha! Nice one!
Linda abeg y u Neva post my comment? That's so not fair. *angry*
Linda why are mu comments nor posted? That's so unfair ...*angry*
Eeya,association of retards!!
y'all should get busy.IDIOTS!!!!
You should have sent your reply with your fellow idiots so I don't have to respond to you separately.dimwit!!!
Illiterate,I am pretty sure you can't write an article to save your life too.retard
First i'd like to commend the strenght you have displayed so far. this young man is not interested in marrying you, there is something he's enjoying about you right now and thats why he wants you to hang around but whatever it is he doesnt think its enough to make him settle down with you. there is a saying that a man always knows if the girl in his life is the one he wants to marry and clearly in your case the young man doest want you.
guess what? you deserve better! so dont even give him the privilege of being your friend.
Move on Sweety
@maxmius lwkm asin eh the english we read on lindas blog can like to tire person eh
Mandy says,
It sounds like you want to be married to this guy because of your age and the time you've put into your relationship. Ladies, marriage is not a prize you get after dating. If you truly,truly love him as you've said,you should be happy to be with him with or without marriage.
Asking him whether he'd mind if someone who would marry you came along was quite silly. And a lot of girls make that mistake. What answer were you expecting? That he'd quake at the mere thought of someone else marrying you? You're telling him, you're not really his. Even your description of yourself was purely on a superficial level. You talked about your financial independence What about your character?I don't know whether the guy is really playing you or not. But I do know you have not handled this well at all. Why would you want to ask a man to marry you? That what you've effectively done.
And the fact that you refered to his father as'the father'implies that this is a methodical thing for you. I don't really believe you love this guy. You're just using the Naija relationship calculation; meet a guy + sex + date + sex over time = he must marry. Dating SHOULD not always lead to marriage. Its supposed to prepare you for the one God chose for you. Thats why sex before marriage is not advisable.
And ladies, if a guy you've dated and harrassed for marriage does not marry you and then months ater marries someone else; he's not a bastard, he just didn't want to marry you.
My dear, I hope you get to read my message. I've been there before! I dated a certain guy years ago, who said he loved me but refused to make a commitment at 36 years old then, i kept hoping he would come around.
My dear, he never did. He travlled home one Xmas and came back in January acting strange and distant.
By mid January, I went to his house and pressed him hard to say what the problem was for him to be keeping a distant from him. He told me his mum forced him to go do introduction at the family of his current wife.
I was about 29 years then, I ignored 2 serious guys then cos I felt I loved this guy. He moved on without a blink. I'm 32 now, still single but trusting God would see me through.
I am wiser now though! Move away from this guy fast!!! He's a bloody time-waster!!!
Please dear, do not make the mistake I made. Love kor, Infatuation ni!!!
Ur head O Maximus! ...Maybe U shld help with her Delima or leave her be
If he really wants u he wudnt feel uncomfortable about defining the relationship... Pls do urself a favour and move on... It wud not be easy but u wud look back nd thank urself for taking d decision... Am talkin out of experience... If u dnt leave he wudnt still be serious... U cud come back later but u need dat break from him nd which will help him realize ur worth... Its gud u have someone else it wud help a lot.
you better move on with your life, i dnt think you need anybody to tell you this. his attention is divided and if you search deeply, you will find out that there is another woman in the picture, this is obvious from his responses.
Yu sef dey talk.. Delima?? Like seriously?
Guys pls ignore this Q guy the story is not about him/ her. Q is a big fool I bet he can't speak his/ her native language. Fake ass like you. Prof of english language go and kill Dame Patience Jonathan na. How many Englinsh ppl sabi speak any nigerian language. Anu offia
Na wa o....none of you guys can even encourage her to wait and see how it goes...everyone is saying move on move on make una hear the guy own side of the story first now.Like she claimed in her story she said she was independent who know if she dey proud for the guy all this our ladies of these days una own too much sef.Abeg my sister check yourself first o before you reck yourself.Before the guy carry you home to introduce you to him people he had intensions.That vacation when you go which vacation be that?did you go with him?tell us the truth o...and this is your life your relationship if you really love this guy you go give am small time o...by the way why you go dey disturb am for marriage sef when the guy ready na him go disturb you abi na you go pay the bride price?take am easy sister and wait small ok...
na wa o people
All this single grls commin here to say "move on" move on to where? Move on to join the remaining 3 billion single grls hustling for husband? A bird in hand is worth a thousand in d bush...be wise. Wait for him Gods time is d best..good tins come to those who wait
Lol @ delima!!! Men una no go sch abi which kin english i dey read for here today!!! Lol
if u lyk ur self eh,quit d relationship,all dis piple d@ is tellin u 2 quit d relationship are not helpin,u\'ve gone out wit dis guy 4 d past 3yrs n d only fault he has is marriage,if u go out wit anoda guy nw u wont be able 2 knw him wella....so my advice 2 u is 2 keep d relationship give him tym cos if u rush into marriage u might rush out so b careful of w@ u choose
Pls sista move on wit ur life. He just want to have a free pie and waste ur time.
if you are ready and he is not ready yet.....give yourself sometime before you move on.Pray to God for direction.Marriage is not sometin you rush into...man nah man oooo
He's not worth waiting for. Apparently u should know
sweetheart do your heart a favor and move on. He's not worth it, men naturally get confused when it comes to defining the relationship, but when this guy is wasting your time.
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