Thanks Everyone... Pls give me sometime I'll get back to u.. I put up d pictures bcos enuff is enuff of all this abuse.. They say they love u but still put u through this. I neally lost my life this morning.. My front tooth fell off and I can't walk.. It took me getting unconscious for him to stop hitting me, before I passed out I begged to be taken to d hospital, I told him I felt like I was loosing my life will he was beating me, that's the last I remember.. I woke up in d hospitalI wish I could share the photos. Incredible sad! A few hours later she put up a text message he sent to her begging for forgiveness..after which people in the group started advising her not to go back to him.
Go back? Should that even be something to debate about? Should we be talking about her going back to him or talking about how to get him arrested for attempted murder?
Why do some women stay in abusive relationships? Why do they go back?
186 comments:
What did she do †Φ him?but he's Wrong for beatin her no mata wht.dey do the worst nd get away wiv Ȋ̊†.M̶̲̥̅γ̲̣̣̥ dear i fink Ʊ shld 4get him cos he doesnt worth Ȋ̊† atall.
Couldn't reAd u̶̲̥̅̊я̥ post.
Your ad banners r not well organised.
Pls do smetin abt dat
Because:
1. They are Insecure and overtly dependent.
2. They are afraid to be lonely or start again
3. The guy has successfully manipulated them
4. Listening to bad council from overtly religious people. "Pray"..
If she goes back, shes a moron. If married, I know it says for better for worse but does it really take you losing your life for the worst.
Well such is life. If your kids have to grow up watching your husband hit you, then they would think its acceptable to be in an abusive relationship.
In conclusion, Men that hit women are soooooo insecure as well.
I don't know why we stay I wz in a relationship for three years nd tru out dat three yrs I got beaten 16 times even the last three I got from him wz after we broke up,he hit me cos I told him I had a new boyfriend, well I guess it's just foolishness it's not love it's lust no guy wld hit me now nd he wld get away with it, I would make sure he visits God and remains there am sorry this happened to to cos u landed in the hospital, I landed there once after a beating too but stupid me still went back! Pls don't make dat same mistake he would hit u again and again if u go back to him!
Unfortunately, it is very common for women to go back to their abusive partners. Most of the time, people that grow up in a home where a parent was abusive to the other, they are more than likely to end up in one themselves. A vicious cycle. Some people don't like being alone and would rather stay in an abusive relationship than risk loneliness. Some women stay for the sake of their children so that they will have two parents. Love makes you do crazy things! The man do a 180 and beg and promise to never do it again. He'll buy you flowers and treat u right till you do something he doesn't like and he hits again. Emotional abuse is the worst kind. Physical signs fade away but the internal scars is forever! Women, PROTECT YOURSELVES! There are warning signs of an abusive man! BE VIGILANTE!!! Sorry for the long story!
This left me in tears, I honestly cant imagine how I would feel if I do see the pictures!
I can't take the news anymore, spousal murder, spousal abuse! Why would you beat somebody you love? Talkless of to the point of being hospitalised?
Women, in the Name of the Most High God, I beg you to move out of every abusive relationship you are in right now! PLEASE! No matter the financial security he gives, it is not worth it! The money will not save you when you are in the grave! If your husband or boyfriend puts his hands on you, I urge you to walk out immediately and report the matter to the authorities!!
I understand that one of the recent stories, the woman had previously gone to the police in Nigeria but they mocked her and said it was a domestic issue! Please, where are the educated readers and lawyers, there needs to be law against spousal physical abuse. Please I beg you! Something needs to be done, for the police to just shrug it off! They all need to be educated one by one on how serious an issue it is!!
By the way, if you have been/or are being abused, do NOT be ashamed! It is the culprit that needs t be ashamed! Please ladies, speak up before you are killed! Don't die in the hands of a wicked man, please don't render your children motherless! Women, we have great futures ahead of us, don't let it die prematurely because of an abusive relationship! Please, step out today! If the police won't help, if your family won't help, I promise you that there are some genuine people who care, there are some Churches who even have Pastors that assist with such. Not every Church but there are some who are dedicated to helping women who suffer violence. Please, some save yourself! It wasn't God's plan for you to be abused; rather He wants you to be sincerely and genuinely loved, protected and supported whole heartedly by your husband! Please women, seek help!! If you need the name or details of an organisation that can help you, please contact linda on lindaikeji@gmail.com!! She can help or send me an email princessofzion@rocketmail.com
I just pray that the Lord will deliver all our men from this spirit of abuse and will restore them and give them the spirit of love. I also pray that every woman facing such turmoil in her relationship or home will be delivered, healed and restored! For those in mere relationships, may the Lord give you the grace to move on and i pray for healing and restoration for all the victims! Father, give them a voice! For those who stand against this monstrous acts, Father empower them, strengthen them and give them grace! AMEN.
I was in an abusive relationship 3 years ago, the first part is emotional abuse, they tell you over and over again that you cant do better than them, after sometime you actually start believing it, then the physical abuse. it takes a strong woman to walk away. in my case after the 'hittin sessions' i got flowers, breakfast in bed, the occasional water works, a cruise or a new bag. i managed to convince myself it would get better, it never did it got worse. i had to move to another town and block all connections to save my life.
I beg you in the name of Almighty, don't continue with the relationship. Its not worth it @all. What if you had died? He'll move on with his life. Remember my dear sister, Y-O-L-O o!
Linda, in most relationships people are having sex.You may be thinking what does this have to do with it but it has A LOT to do with it. When a man or woman who have sex( in this case unmarried folks)theres a powerful chemical that gets released, its called oxytocin, which is a bonding chemical it is also released when mothers are nursing. Its like crazy glue in a sense. In marriage , when couples have sex it helps them stay bonded/in love even when they are having difficulties in the marriage thus, this is why God says to safe sex for marriage. So when sex is being misued ( outside of marriage) it keeps us women blinded and trapped in a relationship we know is not good for us, whether the man is cheating or abusing us, we will stay because the chemical has bonded us to this person, thus it now becomes diffucult to leave the person.
Linda,since u asked, I'll finally divulge the secret.I'll let the cat out of the bag on "why do women stay in abusive relationship?"Many ladies don't even know why they're still superglued to d wrong guy.Some say,'It's love.' while others say,'The girl is charmed'.Neither is correct.The reason why they return to such offensive n vituperative relationship even when a nice guy is readily available baffles many.This issue is a psycological issue, d same issue behind 'the Bad boys syndrome'.Ladies have 2 brains viz logical n emotional but r more controlled by the 2nd.D emotional brain is d feeling or fun side of women's brain.It's what causes them 2 have attraction or feel sometin 4 a guy.But, such feeling's gotta b triggerd n is rarely triggerd by d logically nice guyz cos they ain't controld by d logical brain when it comes 2 relationships.'Bad boys' triggers ds their emotional side with their wrong,awkward,indifferent, 'I don't giv a damn' n inconsistent attitude.So, women tend 2 have ds such gravitational pull towards such guyz as opposed to d nice,cool,dull,unexcitin' n easily available logical guyz.So,gals hope u'll pay me 4 demystifyin' ur mysteries!
Folks who stay on in abusive relationship should have their heads examined. There is something very sick about it. It's sheer madness.
Most women R̶̲̥̅̊ in 1 becos °ƒ Lowself esteem, 4 1 was in an abusive relationshp 4 dis obvious reason, felt no 1 wud eva luv mii way he did becos tot low °ƒ mysef didn't think deserved beta.we women shud put an end 2 dis,we shud disAllow Abuse 2 women,We deserve even BEST
NYC-1 says: "Because the devil you know is better than the angel you don't know." Suppose she goes to another man and find out that her decision has lead to 'frying pan to fire.' Or she goes to another man who is so caring, but can only last for 2 minutes in bed, thus, unable to satisfy her; who would she rather prefer? So it boils down to her preference. Some women would rather take the beating, as long as their sexual insatiable desires are met.
I am entitled to my opinion whether it makes sense or not.
My opinion-
Insecurity, captain save a man, desperation, ignorance, stupidity, no self-love and respect, dependent on a man for whatever reason.
Linda, the truth is that she will go back..
I don't understand why some women love abuse. Abi, does she want to say she dint know he has always being like this?
Women should always learn to live in the real world abeg... I am a guy, and I believe in respecting a woman. Its so true that women can push men to the wall, and trust me it takes the grace of God to hold yourself if you follow a woman's mouth.
My principle has always being, life before love.. if its too difficult to be in a relationship, then it is so not worth it. I have walked out of relationships because of the drama involved.
She better run for her life, else...
The dick keep making dem go bk I blve n xcessive " love". arrant nonsense, let her change her num n blok him off every means he has of Getting in touch eg fnk, twitter etc if she cnt stand hs pretence of asking fr forgiveness, dats my remedy nyway it myt b of help,#bless
You can liken it to a service provider and customer. Mtn, glo messes up at times but most people still stick to this lines irrespective of their seemingly unforgivable flaws. This is caused by loyalty, fear of the unknown(eg how are u sure another network's not gonna be worse), and the 'it's just for a while, they are gonna apologize later and dash out free credit to compensate us' that kinda thought.
I know a family friend whose husband claims to be a pastor/ Road side artist and she is a Barrister. She foots the bills of the house while the good for nuffin man pounds her. He beat her so much once dat when she was rushed to the hospital shards from a broken plate where found inside her head. The part that drives me mad is the fact that she still makes excuses for him. And this drives me to the question are certain women insane??? At a point I felt twas the uneducated ones that do this but it transcends beyond education! The women folk really need to understand that being without a man is better than being 6 feet under.
Concerned Male
Fear of the unknown! Most people stay in such relationships because theyy fear they may not get a better person than the abuser. Unfortunately for people in this category, they fail to realise that there are so many good men out there waiting and looking for god women. Besides, they fail to realise that unless one door closes, another may never open. My advice: take a chnace on yourself and RUn when ur relationship is in this situation. Good-luck, ladies!
I was also a victim of battery,so don't go bk if not u will end ur life wiv ur own hands
Eeyah! I sympatize with her!..d bobo na boxer? D girl no get family? Make dem tidy him 4uck-up badly!..nt man enuf!..he shld b arrested n chrgd 2 court!..PSSNM
You are very stupid! He shd ve killed you, why share u lame story if u won't share d pics! Get d fuck out of here! I'm 100% sure u'll go bck to d scum that plucked off ur tooth! Oponu meji! Linda pls stop posting all dem battered bitches shit! That was how u refused to post d video of d lady that stole ur fone, but u cud post the 9yr old boy that was hitting lil kids. You also posted that heinous pic of d little boy's head that was severed. Tell ur bogus battered ladies to kip their news to themselves if they won't share the actual facts! Oshi jatijati.
na craze dey worry all of dem!..
go back and got urself kill. yeye love
The truth of this situation is,no one really knows
My sis is married to a medical Dr,she's an Rn,he cheats yearly n we catch it,he fights and she even has a medical condition not std thou,like a spine problem,she lied about it to my mom and said it happened at worked,I have been there during their fights,it's crazy I have tried to talk them into stopping the fight,no way,the last time he moved out for over a month,he came back,she took him,they have 3 kids and when they not talking,he doesn't care about the kids,I have tried to understand why he keeps coming back and she keeps taking him and I don't understand,she finds excuses like Ed's the father of her kids,what will Poole say bla bla bla,I have given her advice until I am tired she listens and goes back,no one in his family like sus cuz of what he tells the.
My other sis husband has Anger problem,he's a great guy but he less his temper in .0 seconds for anything,I am scared he will whoop her soon,I don't want to say anything because she complains about my other sister and she always tell him not to scream and all but guess what,they dated 4yrs before marriage and ne have 2kids,she didn't leave after seeing all that
My other sis was the shit,cant say what the couple did cuz people might know but he chetedvn abused her,they ad 5kids now divorced and I think she escaped on I've but it was the first sis who is in an abusive relationship too who told her to leave her husband
Now I am 22and single,very pretty nd have all kind of men chasing me,from average joe to wealthy celebs,but I am traumatized because of these things,I have been sinle for or 3years andu honestly believe all women re abused,some just don't talk about it,it comes mentally,physically and emotionally.will I be single for ever?i don't know but o I won't to be involved with anyone?looking at my brothers with one who's abusive physically and the others emotionally,my sisters all these people can sum up the amount of people from different works of life,let me not even include friends and what they go through? My sister who divorced her billionaire husband is suffering and angry at the sister because she pushed her to,the other one with angry husband says same thing
I think most women stay because they think it does not get better than what they get and they've looked around it happens to almost everyone around them.At some point they think the men will change and stop because they see how bad it gets with the women and they women think they my will change as they promise but they don't.my dad bused his wives,one even lost an ear during the fight,we never saw it but heard it,my dad loved me soo much,how can i hate this man?i was his fav but I don't want a man with his abusive side,but his wealth gave the women a better life so no one left
It's a sad world,we need men to do better seriously.i am Begging every man who reads this please just don't be that man,the man who is abie,it is nt cute as all,it oes not make you a strong man
Ladies please,study your men,try to know what pushes them far to hit you and don't hit that button please,if your man is cheating and abusive and will abuse you if you ask,figure out a better way to let him know you know.
I read so much about relationships I am paranoid,I don't know but I make rules in my life andu live by them.i have read about every possible relationship problem n how to solve it,what to do and not do,my sisters sometimes you need toread totl strangers stories and see how it relates to yours and how you can fixit please make google your bet friend.
I am the type of girl who will call the police on any1 in a heart beat especially if I feel threatened,too bad in naija these isn't available and even worst 99.9% of women hide abuse. I can go on and on but I need to stop,this really touchedy heart.
Her boyfriend is clearly mentally ill. She should be thanking her stars that she isn't married to him yet and flee for her dear life. The next beating might be the final one to send her to an early grave. A man that truly loves her would not inflict this type of physical and emotional damage to her.
Please, why do we women do this to ourselves, aw did she even manage to stay in such an abusive relationship for long, we women don't give value to our selves at all, is it until the lady is 6 inches under the ground before she knows that enuf is enuf, this guy will certainly be the death of her if she does not leave him, enuf is enuf, that is aw abusive relationships are like the man beats the hell out of the woman and the next thing he starts begging for forgiveness, and at the end of the day this lady in question not careful will go back to him. All I can say is LADY YOU NEED AN INTERVENTION! Surround urself wit pple who love and can help u get out. Of that doomed relationship, cuz if not the guy will certainly kill you! A word Is enuf for the wise. I rest my case
This girl might go back, I urge the 'bb group members' to please take this up and not leave it to the girl to handle and also, if action is not taken immediately then this case will be closed! May God save us from monsters who call themselves men!
Why women go back to 'eir abusive partners:
1. Psychological Dependence: Constantly living with a violent guy eventually makes you terrified to quit, probably as a result of threat or stuff like that - (usually happens to the lily-livered women though);
2. Emotional Connection: Some women have deep love for their abusive partners. They're just too emotionally connected to them. 'ey somewhat believe that the abuser is sorry for the abuse & will eventually change 'cos 'ey love 'em; (Haha, crazy innit?)
3. Family/Religious Values/Social Acceptance (mostly concerns the married women): In our (African) society/culture, 'responsible' women aren't supposed to leave their home. The reason behind this myopic thinking could be for the sake of the kids, or for some other ish like that. Some also believe that divorce is a sin!...& when these women eventually leave, they suffer stigma from the society & 're sometimes seen as being irresponsible/flirty as it were; So In order to avoid the feeling of being an outcast, they simply stay in the relationship.
4. & finally, chief of them all, Financial Dependency: This one dey self explanatory :-)
BOTTOM LINE: End that abusive relationship like right now, b4 it ends you.
#Ekwusigom
NB: These're my 4 cents, but you can like to add Sexual Satisfaction...
*Whatever floats your boat*
Linda, pls help this desperate woman, help her cos if only she has a source of income, she would hv left. Advise ladies getting married to stick wt their jobs or get busy wt a little money-making. Its called a back-up plan.
Its so sad cos I don't understand hw nd why they still in such relationship,av a friend dat went thru such but cos anoda lady got pregnant 4 d guy was a reason 4 her 2 leave.
Some girls go back because they don't know their worth. There's a pretty girl in ma hall that her bf beats like a thief and even scolds her like a kid. She's igbo she said she can't date anoda tribe. So she definitely thinks that's the best man she can get.
seriously????? dey go back bcos dey want 2 die.....shikena!!
they do that expecially when they ve invested so much in such relationship, though some like been beaten , i use to ve one girlfriend that alwaz complain that i dont normally beat her when she does wrong, my father use to tell me that 3 useless male child is better than one useless female child. because she would bring shame and reproach to ur family. frm ehisman
Some men can be heartless. Dont go back to that man because your obituary will be the next topic. This one, you are seeing fire and he wants you to enter the fire. Any man that loves you will respect your values and will never hurt you no matter the circumstances. Leave him joor. www.informationforallage.blogspot.com
Linda d reasons still remains a big mystery i mean y wil a man raise his hands 2 beat a woman? She's got no reason in dis world 2 return 2 him
i really don't know!
if he hits u once is that abusive??
Linda n u sure say nah r/ship no b marriage cos I don't get y she wud still b dere...mayb she's waitin till 1 eye will pluck out den she wud leave!
Dis is madness ma advice o her is for her to opt out of †ђξ relationship with immediate effect and alacrity
They go back bcos of this stupid society we are in which sees unmarried pple as lepers! Evn if u are dying in that relationship, stay thr cos d pple advising u ar gng thru worse situations more than u,go to pastor or alfa for strong prayers n fastin', that's aLways been their advice. We are our own worst enemies, women, if u don't flaunt those stupid rings that are bot at Yaba or that title MRS, then u ar nothg! These, are d minds of this Nutcases in this day n age! Shiiooo!!!
Sometimes Linda, some women doesn't know any better until it happens the 3rd time. My pastor will always say something when counseling couples that are about to marry, he will say, once the man starts threaten you with beating styles like "I go give u body now or I go soon dash you federal slap" then it won't be long before he actually dashes you the slap. And once he hits you the first time, he'll do it the 10th time again if you are still alive to share the story. Thank God for the sister that she's still alive till date, at least by now she should be getting better. Pls I want to tell her NEVER to go back to the guy again. There are one million sweet good guys out there just open your eyes very well b4 getting into another relationship. Takecare and God bless you.
Women stay in abusive relationships or go back in it because they are very stupid, silly & foolish...
Its a very unfortunate situation that some women can't help but be in,especially the ones dat love with sincerety of purpose. I find it had to comprehend this natures inbalance,where the good girls always end up with the wrong guys,and the wrong girls with the gud guys. I guess the ladies only fault is love,yes loving a scumbag with all her heart, staying put with a douchebag even when love hurts to d point of paying d ultimate price. My prayer is for my sisters to get d type of men they deserve.~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA3310.
Because they think it is normal. A girl actually told me she doesn't believe that there is any man that don't beat. Thing is, she grew up seeing her dad beat her mom, constantly and now she believes it. Such a sad situation.
No offence, but she can go back if she wants to end up dead. Common sense ain't common.
Any woman/girl that still choose to remain with a guy after being beaten up numerous times should see a shrink fast as she's mentally and emotional imbalance period. To be blunt she got a low self-esteem.
BTW, am a guy.
Love cud be like a terrible addiction. You know something is not right for you, it damages you, destroys your self esteem, belittles your self respect,u know you are loosing your mind but sometimes if not most you have no control until by the grace of God when REDEMPTION COMES or worse case scenario the worse happens. May God save us.
He is delusional& cray cray.. Run for ur life.. Whhich kind nonsense love be dat?
She shouldn't dare go back,,no no no.....he is not the only guy in d world,,he is an animal,,I know d girl must have done something wrong though but no matter what,a guy shouldn't beat up a woman.its really bad!!
4 the record, a lot of men also stay in 'abusive relationships', its simply 'human nature'. Sometimes u luv something or someone so much they make u feel "SO" good u are willing to ignore d pain or damage it gives u! Its like how some women wear 'killer' high heel shoes that make der feet bleed or how u smoke cigarettes even tho' u are fully aware its killing u! 1 way or the other, we are all slaves to what or who we love..........
C∕̴̷̸̷̐̐Ɩ guy dsnt jst lay hands on C∕̴̷̸̷̐̐Ɩ lady 4 fun,sum ladies can b so annoyin..♍γ̲̣̣̥ gf ƒσя example liiiiiies C∕̴̷̸̷̐̐Ɩ whole lot & realy if I'm temperamental,I cld 4get my hands on her face C∕̴̷̸̷̐̐Ɩ couple of tyms...point i̶̲̥̅̊s ,as C∕̴̷̸̷̐̐Ɩ girl,if U̶̲̥̅̊ can't suppress C∕̴̷̸̷̐̐Ɩ guys temper,den leave him--& stop lamentin each tym he lays his hands on U̶̲̥̅̊..shikena!
While wilL she have to stay up till Now beore she reliazes the Guy is a monster
The anonying part is that they are not even married.Girl the Love is not blind
Probably because they feel, they can change the guys
the complexities of the human nature is off the chain.. The tendency to beat, the tendency to be abused over and over again.... Dah been said, one gud way to ansa this is this; the day any man lay his hand on ma sister, i will cut off his two arms, and if ma sister decides to forgive the prick, i will de-sister her... Wat nonsense ! ! !
Hmmmmmmm linda,i can relate to dis lady cos i was in an abusive relationship for 4yrs,it all started wit a slap then he apologized then d nxt time it became slaps,blowing and kicking up to d extent dat i wil start bleeding.he beat me up on severally occassions in front of his friends,in d club n even at a wedding reception we attended 2geda.he kept on telling me dat if i leave him i wont find any1 dat would love me like he does,my sisters live in d states and i couldnt tell any1 wat was goin on wit me not even my mum cos i was ashamed,most of my friends knew n kept advising me to leave him n when he noticed he stopped me from seeing them saying they r sluts.i finally left him dis febuary after d beat me up again in front of his family and after i had an abortion for him cos he said he isnt ready dat i want to trap him can u imagine?i packed my stuffs cos i spent d nite n ran 2 a cab service dat took me home dat was d last tym i ever saw him cos i put my foot down n said enough is enough,he was still begging but i refused to go bk cos he has nuttin good to offer,i tot God had forsaken me linda but on d 1st week of march i met sum1 when i travelled outta d country i decided to give him a try cos i know all men are not d same and guess wat?he proposed after a month and we are getting married here in nigerian dis october,he knows all i hav been tru n is d exact opposite of my ex.so its not easy 2 leave ur abusive bf just like dat it takes d grace of God,once d guy starts hitting u he takes control of ur mind n makes u stop associating wit pple,may God give dis lady d same strength he gave me to move on.AMEN
It's because they have fish brains. All they need is those complimentary words. After the brutality and the fatalised tooth, She's even contemplating on going back. Mumu.
U were beaten till u were unconscious and ure really asking if u shud go back???ure nt even married to him yet which is a guaranteed exit for you..Maybe d next time ud be asking for advice from ur grave asking if u made a mistake goin back...My dear,put urself together,heal from the wounds inflicted on you and find sum1 else.He's nt for you.if he cn beat u to that extent he cn definitely kill...remember the case of d skye bank girl.May her soul rest..a word is enough for the wise
Lady, i beg don"t go back to him. I've been in the same kind of dilemma and i didn't even ask anyone for advice, i quickly packed my stuff and left him quickly before I found myself 6 feet under. U might think u can't live with out him but trust me, u can do it with the support of friends and family, u'll be ok ijn. In my case I'm a very strong person, i left him immediately and moved on, cos death is not my calender yet. *hugs*
Man's inhumanity to man... I m totally against men abusing women..
No matter what happens..
I think stay because d think he will change one day and also when someone keeps telling that no one will love u but him he knows that when he has ur mind he has u so he controls it ur mind
i guess its because they are scared of starting all over, they bliv dey deserve the treatment, they dnt av confidence in themselves. nd some cos they love d guy stupidly which is silly to me. we women need to stop allowing guys treat us like trash pls.
I ve a frnd like that each time i ask him why he beat up the lady he clames he love his reply is always this { i love my gurl nd i dnt want to loose her ,tell her to stop being discreet.
About what u may ask
Exactly linda! He should be arrested. If yu can't take a woman's mistakes or offence in a relationship. Leave her and move on to the one u can tolerate. NOTHING justifies a man hittin a woman.
Linda,you are asking why?? Heheheh,the guy get big dick and he dey fuck am well.some women dey like make dem bf/hubby beat dem..via BB SusanPorsche
abeg qo back joor and receive the remaining beating of ur life..mtcheeew!
Men dey scarce this days oh, beware! so shine ur eyes oh.
LINDA! IGBOTIC GIRL! IF U LIKE NO POST MY COMMENT, NA U HOLD BOTH YAM AND KNIFE NAH! its ur time
This kin tin eh! I tire!
When guy kill u! U will understand!
May God help her oh
Simple answer.....Bcos dey are FOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLSSSSSS!!!!!!! *shikena*
As a former victim of domestic violence myself I know that if you don't get love from home at a young age you usually go around looking for it in all the wrong places.
Also from as early as I can remember my dad and mum used to have physical fights; an act which I thought was normal. I believe this was also a contributory factor in my case.
The easiest thing to do would be to walk away...however it's also the hardest. I pray you find the strength that I did to walk away. I have been happily married for almost 5 years now and I can proudly say there's no form of violence in my life.
Normally I wouldnt comment on your blog but for this I will......abuse is not only physical it also psychological, when women do not leave abusive relationships it is not because they do not want to leave the rltionship as you and I might think. I have come to the realisation after counselling lots of abusive women is that they have been sooooo abused psychologically as well that they feel there is nothing else outside the phrase 'the devil you know is better than the angel you do not know'........it take a lot of will power to get out of such relationship once you have gone past the first incident of abuse.....I really do hope that with time this woman comes to the realisation she deserves much better than this and there is definitely something more fantastic outside than the beast she is currently involved with....
I don't know why a woman treaten this way, will still go back to the man. This lady is just in a relationship, he has not married her, when he beats her this badly how will it be when they are married? Many men believe they own the woman after they married her. I hope for her that she will not go back to him! Because it won't get any better! The Mr. Right is maybe right next to her, but she does not see it, because she is wasting her time with this idiot!
Dis is insane! Am in tears. No mouth but I ll curse d guy nd after I do that I ll teach him d lesson of his life. The guy is pouring all his frustration on u nd its not right. Well I ll arrest him nd dey will beat him up till dat frustration leave his body. Whn dey teach all dis guys a lesson no one will ever wana try it again. They need to put on tv every now nd den d consequeces of beating a girl. The govt needs 2 take it up cos its getting out of hands
I gues d guy is hot
Abused women......I meant
a man dat rili luvs u wil nt hit u no mata ur offence.a man wil only hit a woman wen he z tired of her so i wil advice her 2 leave dat man cuz d nxt 1 mite b worst
I think is fear
I gues d guy is hot
Dis is a life long topic dt gvs me d chills weneva its raised....I am tired of tinkin of y a man wld hit a woman..cs in my opinion..nofin justifies it...its just like a 20yr old beatin up a neonate...cs its obvious d man is physically stronger dan d woman(not all d time doe,,bt in most cases)...now I dwell more on..y wld a sane woman feel safe wit a man dt has much as raised a finger on her?..serzly..I beg 2 question her sanity...cs it simply shows psychologically-d woman must b ill..
Linda,its sad how women allow themselves to driven by emotions rather than reason....why is she with a monster like that? Probably because the sex is good and he is a fine boy..finer than her gfs bfs...wait a minute, aint women attracted to the thug type? Aint perfect genlemen too boring to be arround?this madness has got to stop..
She should nt go back, never 4 wat. I can't even imagine her going back he will jst kill her one day I can't still believe some men r like dis ........God pls help us never 2 meet women beaters. She should hire some people and beat him and remove his front teeth too...stupid man
Linda i come from east africa and there is a certain tribe that women believe unless their husband beats them they dont real love them so to them if ur husnad is jealous beats u up thats love....but to me personally its a NO NO NO no such love...
Hell no d girl should neva go back to him becos if they get married it will be worse than when they are dating and d guy should be arrested aunty linda post my comment.
Cus D̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣̥ r J̶̲̥̅̊u̶̲̥̅̊ƨ̣̣̣̇̇̇̇τ̣̣̥ blinded in d whole tin called luv,sum1 who luvs yu shud nt hurt yu,talk more of beating yu.
This is d height ö̤̣̇£ wickedness, ♏v̶̲̥̅ dear dere is ŊO̶̷̩̥̊͡ retink I̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ dis situation,pls dnt go bck s̶̲̥̅ợ̣̣̇̇̇ Ʊ dnt loose U̶̲̥̅̊я̅ life tryin †✆ ƪ♥vε sumone who does nt care.jst move ahead wΐτ̲̅h U̶̲̥̅̊я̅ life dear Α̲̅Ω̴̩̩̩̥d̶̲̥̅̊ dnt giv Į̸̸̨ƭ a second tot.
Some women actually like it when their man beats them up and come back to say sorry and then he cuddles her up,they end up making love to truly end the misunderstanding. But for me "tosan" its never gonna happen to me nor my unborn daughter's,bcos they would grow up to be like their mother and also independent ladies by Gods grace,but the fact is If he ever lays his hand on you,he will continue to beat you for the rest of your life,weda e comes to say sorry or not. But 4 me ooo,dem Neva born dat man. Only irresponsible and badly trained children that grow into men do that.
Myopism! Nne, walk very far away 4rm dat beast & keep walking, before u completely loose ur mind. *amrra*
I have a feeling she gonna go back to me.I pray she is sensible enough to run for her life.the next time she might not be lucky to tell d story.
LOL, wait sef. Boyfriend or Husband? If d answer is d Former she needs prayers! Like someone you are not yet married to beats You that way?? Then what will happen when they get Married?! By the time they Get married all her teeth would Remove. Besides do they have to tell her not to Go back or Does she want to die there??? Biko she should Vamoose she might not be this lucky Next time.
Bcos dis same men,buy their way bak wit lots of gifts n cares
The answer always is after all I av put in dis relationship or how can I leave him after 5yrs,the devil u know is better than d angel u don't,time is running out....and so on!
As a woman, i dont understand why women submit themselves to such torture. Once my boyfriend showed signs of agression i gave him the warning of his life oooo. i think women should address such issues the moment they see signs of a man wanting to hit her or something. COS meeehn some guys dont think!!!!!!!
she is just plain stupid. stupidity personified. period!
make she die for man naw all in d name of love, he will end up marrying another; not forgetting that he would not even respect u in death to mourn u.
i dont know why some women dont use thier head. smh
Dat guy shuld b arrestd!!! He doesn't hav repect 4 a woman
Catherine says............
It has a lot to do with inferiority complex. Let me use this analogy. If you know you are not a goat, but someone treats you like one, you protest.
If you don't know, you accept the treatment.
That's how it is. Women need to have self-worth and a good self-image. We have to know we are better than good enough, that we do not have to be abused in relationships. That there is no reason we should have to endure an abusive relationship. That a man who hits you really doesn't love you no matter how many flowers he sends when he's begging for forgiveness.
That a man who loves you should be your cover and your shield. Your protector, not your predator.
dia is no room 4 debate.4gv him n move ahead wit ur lif cos a man dat cn do dat 2 a woman will nt stop abusing u.
Why? Why? Why? Linda can you put your hand in fire and watch it get burnt. No smoke without fire. The woman who stays in an abusive relationship has her reasons that is best known to her and even if she tried to share not only would she not tell you all, but i guaranty you would not understand. Life is deep my dear. The same reason a man will take back a cheating wife. Right and wrong are two different things. No one will allow themselves be burnt for nothing. For the lady in question, please treat yourself properly and tell yourself the truth you dont need anyone's opinion cause it is only you that wears your shoe.
My eldest sister died on 27th of July 2012, her husband threw her on the floor and stampeded her tummy and she was rushed to UBTH and the doctor said the beast(her husband and my in-law) feet ruptured her womb. I'm 21yrs, and our father died when I was 6yrs, my sister was and is my life. I grew up watching this beast beat my sister.
Any man that raises his hand on any woman should be hanged.
They stay coz of "Love" and they always believe he will stop.....he never does. He will apologize and do it 2days later!
The man who hits his wife/galfrnd is just a mystery to me. I will never understand why.
Did I hear boyfriend...not even husband? Nna, things r happening o!
Well spoken!
Linda 4get dat guy b4 he kill u o
Woman if u love urself don't teven tink of going back,bt really sum women enjoy the beathing as they say it's a sign of love.Women if ur husband ever beats u den the man doesn't love u at all.
Love strong oh, looking for a record label visit blowtinz.blogspot.com
Love strong oh, looking for a record label visit blowtinz.blogspot.com
I believe that most ladies stay in abusive relationship, for reasons, that they are not willing to let others know.
Woman if u love urself don't teven tink of going back,bt really sum women enjoy the beathing as they say it's a sign of love.Women if ur husband ever beats u den the man doesn't love u at all.
I she crazy for tinkin of gng bak...she must b high on crack!..first off any guy who beats a lady shd b tied to a transformer n den switch it on..wish I can lay my hand on dat guy I wld beat d hell outa him so he sees hw it hurt..we guys cn jounce attime eh!..gard!
Except we choose to be dishonest with ourselves, we know as much as it has been established that the heart is not so smart, its not that easy to walk away from a relationship. Any relationship, good or bad. It's not that easy. #keepingitreal.
At this point the women (or men) need help not castigation (ok, maybe a lil castigation) but more importantly they need someone who'll take them by the hand and walk with them out of the relationship and stay with them until they're back on their feet again. its that simple and that hard.
In another thought, some women love men beating them and coming back to beg them n have "hot sizzling make-up sex"
FACT!
i have seen and heard some ladies say they love d way their boyfriend/husband makes love to them after a fight. they say its sweeter and on a different and higher level than normal sex.
and am like *eyes and mouth opened*
some women! some women!!
Once am dating a man, i push u to the extreme just to test u, u raise a finger, am outta that relationship. na so i take run leave me ex before i marry this super-fabulous man whose last name i proudly bear and av great kids for.
*and yes..he passed the test of not raising his hands on me and has never for the past 5years .
So I rili neva comment....but it happens all the time,it takes a real man to walk away instead of raising his hand on his woman...I happen to be in a relationship goin 5years now(and I also happen to have the sharpest mouth a lady can ave)..buh my man has never even raised his hands talkless of hitting me...My point is..It happens cos these ladies have low self esteem...dz guys see it...n capitalise on it...He loves u and respects u..he wud neva hurt u...its human nature to protect what we love,not try to destroy it..most times dz ladies r scared of being single...where 2 start 4rm...so dy stay and keep being abused...there are a million and one men out there trust me...SAY NO TO ABUSE...watch private storm...
Its not Linda joor,u nor dey read b4 u dey ryt,dem nvr born dat man wen go touch our Linda.
@chinedu akenzua I'm sorry to hear about your sister's death. It pains me! Don,t know u or her. But my question is this. What are you doing about it? Don't let that bastard get away with it.
Omo dis na Wikipedia o!
Story!
Wtf ? U get time sha
=)) .•´¨)
¸.•´ ¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸¸.•´(¸.•´(¸.• =)) нεнεнεнεнε=D =)) :D ...Thnk God u said its your opinion o,but come to think of it,dats how most peeps in an abusive relationship will be thinking o...choi!
CHINEDU AKENZUA,
such a sad one. may her soul rest in peace.
i hope that man was not left to go scot free.
what pains me about these type of men, when they see their mates dem no de get power o, na woman body dem de get liver.
i hate to hear such. pls try to ensure that that useless man of an inlaw to u pays for his wicked deed
She's the most stupid girl i've ever heard of if she can boldly show his text msg about forgiveness. Too stupid!, go back and die!
if u want peace ready for war.unless the lady is without a family which i doubt or in her stutpidity she has refused to get them involved.
It is only a balance of froces that gets to resolves this kind of madness. Trust me.
Back then in warri, a guy used to beat the girl friend blue black, then one day she returned to my area bruised. Well we launched a man hunt for the fellow,found him and almost killed him before taking him to the girls father where he was made to swear never to lay his hand on her again and he'never did.
I might be have gone cool now due to my learning but i am sur thaat if a guy dares to lay his haand on any of my sister he is going to answer to me and my crew.
I dont and have never laid hands on any lady and trust me, i have had cause to but just exercised absolute control over myself.
I have endded relationship that tended towards such abuse as a means of correction.
I hate the fact that she is even asking for help when all she needs is a walk.
@LogosfromDac.e
U must really hav a bitter life. If u hav nothn meaningful to contribute, stay off! SADIST
Am sure u are a woman beater too right? Same!
Lol @ anon 12.07
Neways it's really sad that men beat up their wives/ girlfriends. It's totally unacceptable. But what I dont understand is why women stay most of them are ready to die there until he dumps them for another girl then they become bitter and start announcing to whoever cares to listen that they where in an abusive relationship. The fact that you didn't leave when he was beating you makes you Very Foolish. So y tell us just because you got dumped.
In this ladies case I beg u in God's name leave its nt worth it at all. You are nt yet married to him and you are suffering like this.
Your self esteem is d'way u feel about yourself.its d'values u place thru ur tots n'feelings! Sum pple tink very highly of themselves, while others do not place alot of values on themselves @ all. If dis is d'case, ure considered 2 be suffering frm low self esteem n'suffering is exactly wot it can bring into a relationship.
Facing ur issues:
Low self esteem usually comes frm d'issues dat u have & can't resolve. It can come frm a number of real issues such as:
*sumtin dat u did in ur past, such as become addicted 2 drugs n'alcohol, or spending tym in prison.
*a particular physical attribute such as misshapen teeth or frm bin over weight., not feeling smart.
*an inability 2 socializ wit others.
* lack of success in life!
Generally, anytin dat makes u feel self-consious will contribute 2 low self esteem, whether it is something dat u point out to urself or as d'result of ridicule frm others.
In a relationship, low self esteem can turn a cycle of misery wen a person doesn't feel value in themselves, dey r more likely 2 believe dat dey don't deserve d'best of treatment frm dere spouse.
If u ever wondered y a woman who is abused will stay in a relationship sometimes until it comes to tragic conclusion, low self esteem is often 2 blame. Whether she had low self esteem coming to d'relationship or she developed it tru verbal abuse n'controllingbehaviour frm her spouse,she becomes convinced dat she deserves to be treated in dis way, dat she doesnt deserve better kind of life.
The relationship doesn't ve to ve physical abuse inorder to be bad frm low self esteem. If u marry someone who is not as attracted as you would like becos u tink dat is all u deserve, dat can only make u unhappy but can lead 2 low self esteem in ur spouse. Anytime ure in a relationship wit someone who is nt everyting u want in a partner becos u tink u don't deserve beta, ure setting urself up for an unhappy relationship for u both.
HOW TO BOOST YOUR SELF ESTEEM:
If ure going 2 improve your self-esteem, ure goin 2 ve 2 change d'way u think about yourself and d'decision u ve made. If u ve come frm a childhood dat included physical or verbal abuse, u may need professinal councelling to get past ur low self esteem.
To improve your feelings towards yourself, do d'following:
# Look for d'key to trigering yourself-doubt. Find out if dere r specific events dat seem to leave u fraustrated n'feeling inadequate.( Dis can include work, issues wit family or spouse)
# determine wat it is about these events dat makes dem troubling u. You need 2 get into ur own head n'figure out wat is real n'wot ure lying to urself about. Do an honest evaluation of wot d'facts are n'wot u ve convinced urself to be tru without any evidence 2 back dem up!
# don't accept d'lies but challenge dem, if u don't address the situation dat r destroyin ur self esteem tou will never build d'confidence u need 2 be strong in any situation or in your relationship.
# work towards changing the way u think n'forgive urself for d'times u made mistakes. Try to leave the past in d'past and work towars creating a confident person who has d'self esteem to choose the right partner for a happy relationship!
Remember a rose is always a rose, never settle for less, be patient n'pray 4 d'best!! May God help u
@ chiluvy
Hmmmm.... If not that u mentioned Pastor, I actually pictured my neighbour.... The lady works in a bank....he on d other hand? Well I don't know what he does, cos he's at home most of the time...he drives her car, she maintains everything in the house like a "real wife" I say real wife cos they aint even married...one day, he beat her in the middle of the night, that other people in their compound had to wake up to check on her, only to find her unconscious. They paid the hospital bills and she's been beaten like five more times after that.... As I write this, she's still living with him, and they're not married still....
As for this story....if this lady wants to go back to the coward, dats her prob....but my advice...if she intends going back, she should hit his head with a huge mortar pestle if he as much as pinches her again....... NO MAN will EVER be allowed to do this to me.
Nt just insecure,any man dat hits a woman is a COWARD. Sha,sme women prefer men dat hit dem,bt I feel dats sme sort of mental disorder
Come may God bless you for explaining. Lecture the women more. They just want every excuse to justify their being single n lonely. Women that can't find husband always get excited in stories like this.
All of u advicing re not to go back re waisting ur time.Haven't you heard teh saying that TOTO and Prick MATTER,den no dey put mouth.Let the guy beat her from now till 2moro,she is going back.Moreover,most of you ladies advisers,Do love being beaten by ur guys.U reffer them as Hard Guys,while the Gentle,cool guys re called by ladies as,being too DULL{DUMMY}.So make d guy beat am d more,follow by marathon sex.Shikena!!
Good one there,no mind Linda make she stay there no marry,always discouraging people
One of the best comment here
Why don't women start reporting these bastards to the police? You allow these men roam around free but when a woman upsets you, you know how to fight her and throw acid on her.
So I was abused by my exhusband for three good yrs and it.is not a joke the.last straw was when he hit.me and I almost died I was on d floor helpless and he was.still choking me sayn I will kill iu and I tried to break free and call d cops and this was cos I caught him cheatn.it was d longest hour of my life I had to get courage to leave wt my child and d help of my famiy my point is it was not d first it wont b d last u need to leave and dont look bk inshort cancel any connectn he.has wt u phone email bank.account even family and friends that.will talk on his behalf
Why would you "push your man to the extreme"? Is he a lab rat? I swear, some women and their wahala.
What if your man "pushes you to the extreme" to test by bringing in another woman to his house? How would you feel? If you don't trust him, don't go into a relationship with him. simple!
ANON July 29, 2012 7:15 AM,you are right,i have a gf that her friend ask her if i do beat her and she said i dont guess what her friend told her,she said am cheating on her that is why have not seen reason to get jealous and hit my Gf..
Some women stay in abusive relationship because they is some form of monopoly and soul tie they cannot break off from in terms of the abusive guy.They may feel that getting someone who is as good-looking their boyfriend may be impossible even if he may be Satan incarnate in man .Some women are stuck with abusive relationships possibly because of the financial security the boyfriend may provide plus other fringe benefits such as a house, holidays abroad, money, gifts etc.
Some women may be stuck in abusive relationships possibly because they were deflowered by their abusive boyfriend so much that they can't break the soul tie.
Some women may stick to abusive relationships possibly because they may have been cursed, bewitched or entangled by an evil and demonic covenant only God can break.
Some women may stick to abusive relationships because they may have been abused sexually from childhood or raped several times when they were single , hence they may see been brutalized as a way of life .
Some women may stick to abusive boyfriends because they may likely have little or no value for themselves , this may be connected to the kind of father and brothers she had and also the type of parenthood she lived ,hence if she was mentally abused by her family or parents or even physically abused she may see abuse as a way of life.
In any case, it appears that violence against women may not have been stigmatized well enough for the culprits to feel the pain of stigmatization.
Men who abuse women do so because they are cowards. I think men who abuse women continually do so because they think they will always get away with it and no one can do anything about it.
When a men or woman is violent to his or her other half , they break the heart ,goodwill and oneness of the person, they also typify the image of an animal who cannot reason .The primary difference between humankind and animals is the power to reason sensibly and make adjustments and modifications to our behaviour from past experiences. People in a relationship are supposed to protect each other’s interests positively, a woman is not supposed to be a biological robot neither is a man supposed to be an emotional slave. I may not be able to prove it but I think Men hit women to inject fear and intimidation into the women so that they can assert some form of power although contrary to this they may attribute their behaviour to stubbornness and ill-manners on the part of the woman but the truth is that respect has to be earned .Eventhough not all women were well trained to be well-behaved with good communication skills and manners ,beating a grown up to pulp never ever changes anything or is something to be proud of. When a man hits or woman or vice-versa they bruise the spirit of the victim and create obstacles to their prayers being answered by God. People who engage in violent relationships are poor communicators and need help from trained counsellors and their pastor /Imam/Priest/Guru.
Women need to believe in themselves before they're able to walk out of abusive relationships. You can preach and show her possibilities but if the woman isn't willing to see anything beyond that man, then you're wasting your time.
It's not easy but it is possible. You were not born into this world with a man, you came into this world alone. If you live yourself you will never allow a man continuously abuse you.
I'm yet to find a man who will stay in an abusive relationship.
Your friend who beats his woman needs to have a better idea of love. He is possessed prick! Now, let his insecure woman pour acid on his head and say that her reason for doing so is because she loves him and doesn't want any woman to have him. Bastard!
The bastard leaders should implement a law for abusive partners..too bad, I'm sure many of them abuse their partners and they abuse our country.
You can't keep running away and not put these useless and weak men in jail. You are no longer a man the time you lay a finger on a woman.
It's no fucking mystery. Some women are insecure, don't know any better, don't love themselves etc.
If you believe you deserve a job, you will put in effort in pursuing that job. It's all about the mindset. They don't think they deserve better. Fuck a woman beater! I will stab your yansh
Pls just create a blog for this epistle abeg!
As far as I am concerned any woman who allows a man to beat her more than once deserves all she gets.
My ex wanted sex one day,I said no,we struggled I scratched him and he went mad.said I was a witch and wanted his blood.started beating me,cursing me,gave me one hot slap and almost tore my cloth.(We were at his friends house oh in his room)I don't no how he expected me to allow him v sex with me there.
Anyway,I had to start shouting for help cos I think he would v wounded me seriously(Though I admit I didn't keep quiet)I told him he was shitty for hitting me and no real man hit women).
Needless to say he hit me more and spat on me.
Finally his friend heard us and rescued me.He claimed I drove him to it and dat he had never hit a woman before.I didn't believe dat Oh.Honestly he wld v killed me.
And dat was d end of our relationship.I was too ashamed to tell anyone why.He still calls me for marriage and can't understand y I want to have nothing to do with him.
As I said,If he hits u once,send him packing.Even if he has a big prick like my ex.No one is worth dying for.
That's Y I LUV WHITE Women, dey ll jst Sue U . All des women dey beat, dey hate deir lives n I Think dey are BLIND. Now as U ve lost Ur tooth, do u think is LUV. D nxt thing U ll see is ur Corpse. Am 25yrs old , since ve known my parents , my dad has neva slapped by mum talkless of beating her. I ve bn in 2 r/shps in my life n I ve neva bn beaten,so der re some decent men out der if u luv ur life
Linda thank you for putting this up...this story is about me. first of all, this is his first time of hitting me, secondly i never asked my group if i should go back to him.. i am no FOOL.. if he could do this the first time, can u imagine what he would do to me the 2nd time round... i thank God Laura showed u this but i have a few issues i would like to discuss with you in private... guys i have read your advise.. thanks alot.. i am pressing charges rite now, he CAN'T get away with this... and the most annoying thing is he is the sweetest human been on earth and worships the ground i walk on... *well i thot*
Anon 12.59 You are so on point. There's this my lady friend that has told everyone who cares to listen that she was in an abusive relationship just because she is extremely bitter the guy moved on. Dedicating tweets to the boy and his gf all the time. The truth is we can tell the diff btw a bitter person and one who is sincere. Remember Ladies you have a choice to walk out at anytime and when you finally do counsel others that need help. It's not by going to Facebook or twitter 2 announce how he did this or that just because you are bitter that he moved on.
@Ms E: No thats romantic!
She shld pls nt go back 2 dat relationship. A man that claims 2 really luv a lady wil neva lay his hand on d woman, no matter wat.
ds is not about trust my dear. beating is not about trust. its far far from it. u never know till u r involved. some men r gud pretenders until they have u wrapped round their fingas. every mallam and im kettle. my mechanism was to test the waters before plunging in. i did n it worked for me. cant afford to be buying designer frames here and there to cover one swollen eye or the other not to talk of the risk of loosing my life to one weh-re of a man in th name of love.
ds lie is once o! no spare part.
Anon 11:40,she has d tym cos she is human,d same can't b said about u..silly twerp!!..thanks princess,well said,love!!...NEKS
That was what i did to my ex-boyfriend. I cut contact with him, My frds(including my best friend). Am really happy i did cos My life has changed for good.
As far as I am concerned any woman who allows a man to beat her more than once deserves all she gets.
My ex wanted sex one day,I said no,we struggled I scratched him and he went mad.said I was a witch and wanted his blood.started beating me,cursing me,gave me one hot slap and almost tore my cloth.(We were at his friends house oh in his room)I don't no how he expected me to allow him v sex with me there.
Anyway,I had to start shouting for help cos I think he would v wounded me seriously(Though I admit I didn't keep quiet)I told him he was shitty for hitting me and no real man hit women).
Needless to say he hit me more and spat on me.
Finally his friend heard us and rescued me.He claimed I drove him to it and dat he had never hit a woman before.I didn't believe dat Oh.Honestly he wld v killed me.
And dat was d end of our relationship.I was too ashamed to tell anyone why.He still calls me for marriage and can't understand y I want to have nothing to do with him.
As I said,If he hits u once,send him packing.Even if he has a big prick like my ex.No one is worth dying for.
The guy is mad.pls forget him.he's a loser.may God give you ur own boyfriend that will cherish you.and don't be desperate to have one.
My ex housemate stayed with an abusive boyfriend because, apparently, he had the perfect dick and could f**k her till kingdom come. The beating was like foreplay for her. And all the while she knew the relationship wasn't going anywhere and she could never marry him as he was the laziest bastard alive. Thanks partly to my intervention the relationship ended but of course she didn't thank me for it. She even told me that her ex hates me because she told him that I made her break up with him. Crazy and ungrateful bitch!
I jst dont get it why women stay in abusive relatnships o,i rather be single than be in a crappy relationship with a guy that treats me like trash.Anyway diff strokes for diff folks,as for me o emi o raye oshi from any guy and dats ma motto.
What has dis got to do with wat she did to him? Even if she cheated on him, there's always d option of break-up....
To d topic....Linda most times, babes don't walk away if the guy is 'handsome'.... If u ask her to show u his pics, you'll see he is. I'm speaking from experience, but I wasn't stupid enuf to go back when he cheated once....twas hard, and d urge to take him back was there, so I just travelled to Abuja for a while..... This is not to say that guys who r not so gud looking aint bullies o....most times, ugly guys r worse sef..... Just be wise and know when to take a walk.
July 29, 2012 1:28 AM i disagree. am from such a home and now in my late 3oies but not in a relationship because of the trumer i experienced in my parents relationship. i find it hard to allow any man in my life as i feel same would happen to me. am a well to do lady and a professional but i just find it hard to trust a man so when i see women like these i cant understand why a man would do that to a woman dey love and why the women stay or even go back to dem.
i tell you linda if it were me i properly would kill him in his sleep
YOUR TOOTH IS OUT!!!!???????????????? BOYFRIEND!!!!???? Please please please advise yourself abeeg...except you want us to be commenting on this story when you are not alive again... GOD FORBID!!
I agree with you.
Women stay in abusive relationship because of insecurity just as many readers have said. They are made to believe that their partners.are the best thing that happen to them and they can't get a better person than the abusive partner. Physical battery of women has received so much attention that verbal and psychological abuse are hardly discussed. They are far worse than the physical sometimes because there is no evidence to show except when a close relation or friend gains insight. What all the victims forget is that , if they are maimed,or killed eventually they are replaced with another mugu. Women wise up!,
ok it took beating you up to unconciousness to know why women stay in abusive relationships...the first time a man raises his arms at you...LEAVE...eish...
Is stupid to ask what she did to him.your mentality is also poor.i dnt cate abt what you said after that. That question killed any good intention you had.
I have said a million times to people, no man, no matter how mad he is, will start off hitting you. He must test the waters first.
It will start with him putting you down, complaining about stuff you do, how you do them, etc, etc. If you accept that kind of behavior,he will then have the liver to go further. If you put him in his place, the relationship will be unable to go on because as soon as he realizes that he can not break you psychologically, he'll run, telling people that you were rude, unmanageable etc He will also be very possessive, always wanting to be with you/ know where you are, who you are with. Unfortunately, a lot of women think that it means he loves them. No, a grown man should have his life outside you and let you have yours outside him. If he needs to be in constant contact, getting angry or nosy when he is not with you, it's a sign that he has issues. Then he will start to isolate you, turning you against your friends and family so that he can be in control and you don't have anyone you feel you can trust to talk to.Look out for guys who say things like "they are just jealous because you have a man and they don't". Unfortunately, instead of realizing that the guy is being controlling, such words make the woman feel special.
The key is to notice such things in a man. Also, if his father used to hit his mother, he will most probably hit you too.
As for all you ladies who think that if a man loves you he will hit you, it's probably because your father used to hit your mother and so what you need to get over that kind of demonic thinking is counselling.
Sometimes, impatience makes some women to run so fast that they can't survive the potholes of life. Anybody who waits patiently will surely make his or her choice. Some women should learn to be patient in making their choice.
Its Counsel BTW not council ... :)
@ scorpio,...loving that analogy.
Fact is most Nigerian women would rather die than lose their Mrs title. Too many young married ladies these days are very unhappy in their matrimonial homes. From being the breadwinner to dealing with unreasonable inlaws. People,we need to move into the millenium and stop trying to balance old school ideas with the current societal values. No modern man would even think about hitting his wife. A modern man will not permit his wife to pay the rent, bills etc. Living off her efforts and still expecting their marriage to exist within the African man/woman dynamics. No modern man can be ok with the knowledge that he is sexually inadequate. We need to stop all the ''This is Africa'' crap. Its that sort of mentality that makes a young man think he has a right to more than one wife! Look around you: Globalistion is here y'all.
GOD BLESS NAIJA
BlogLord...you are so right. A man will pretend until he has you hooked. The husband I have now is not the man I married. What i saw as quiet, calm and in between jobs turned out to be secretive, complacent and down right gold digging. And yes, sex before marriage does complicate things.
I think Fear is a key factor that deters women from leaving abusive relationships, and it could be the fear of different things. Specific to Nigerian women, I'd say the Fear of what society would say amongst many other things. I'm reminded of the scene in For Colored Girls where the guy threw his children out the window. That's extreme but it should never get to the point where one is being battered or their kids lives threatened. Unfortunately, many women don't say enough is enough before its too late...
by the way, please check out http://www.reviewnaija.com/!!! I really believe this site can have a huge impact on services provided in Nigeria. But I'll need everyone to check it out and contribute!! Thanks :)
Osy, I don't think you understood the post or the comment made by anon 1:43. How is this true story of abuse an excuse for single ladies to remain single, are u even serious? Read and comprehend!!!!!
I can't read thru all this but just call me the dismisser. I get all kinds of desirables ...men..but one misstepping and u gotsta GO! LOL. YEP I'M LONELy sometimes but u can't pay for peace happiness and soundness of mind! The 1 today just left a vmail thhat ME I Shd never leave such a text on his phone again.. one very dimwitted comical statement. BYEBYE! SEE THE DEMONIC TONE HE USED SEF. Nashurally that one is finito. No be me and am. Na so dem dey begin mind controllation. Indiot. And we are set to bury a girl killed by man near me. Abeggi
WHEN YOUR READERS STAY HERE AND ABUSED UNMARRIED WOMEN WHY WONT PEOPLE WANT TO STAY WITH A MAN BY ALL MEANS
That usually happens when you use blackberry browser to view this blog, it doesn't render the page properly. To solve it once and for all download Opera mini and always use it for viewing Linda's blog and important downloads
it quite unfair, our young ladies prefer such man, imagine she asking what she should do. pls guys, you are not yet married to you girl friends and as such dont have control over her. imagine a female friend of mine teling me her boyfriend restricted her from bringing male friends to her house, what nonsense even if you paid for the accommodation shouldn't give you the rite to do that. what ever you spend on a girl do it for help and as for her she should just go out there and look for a caring guy like me who cant even shout on her, before we go attend her RIP.
you guys can visit my blog for more information
Osy- Guy get a life! If your sisters are Single, Needy and LONLEY....so be it! Not every single female is needy and lonely- Jee nolu ani.
What has his analogy got to do with your comments about "Linda's inability" to marry?
Abeg Osy biko....up your reasoning ante! You no dey try @ all.
It nt her ad banners dt is d problem...its ur fone..ur os is low..ul need to upgrade
Worships the ground i walk on sounds like my bastard x but dat nigga was a demond!
The same way we all still stick to MTN.
I have been married for close to 4 years now and i am blessed with 2 kids. I am now pregnant with my third and last kid. Through out my marriage I have been beaten, insulted called names, strangled , battered, kicked, etc.
The last one nearly left my daughter blind. I have finally left my husband. I have been called names for leaving him. What I don't understand what actually drives men to be physical with someone they claim they love. My husband has been cheating on me with other married women (i have evidences) and i cannot beat him. but once he knows i have a friend of the opposite sex, i become a slut.He has been begging me to come back, he misses the kids and all the blah, now he has resulted to threats of divorce, like i care. he beats me in public, calls me names in public and there was once he actually stripped me naked and he wanted to throw me down the balcony. We all have our differences but cant it be settled like 2 mature human beings. Must it always result in violence. Am afraid of going back and am also afraid because I don't want my son picking up that kind of behaviour from his father. he has witnessed all the beatings and he is only 3.
FROM WHAT I READ, THE FACT THAT SHE EVEN PUT UP THE TEXT MESSAGE OF HIS APOLOGY, MEANS SHE IS CONSIDERING GOING BACK TO HIM. AM SURE SHE WILL GO BACK AND WE WILL NEVER HEAR FROM HER ON THIS MATTER AGAIN...
MY ADVICE....SHE SHOULD WRITE HER WILL, THEN GO BACK
they go back because of d koko
this funny but i ve met ladies that reviewed to me that they like their guys been tough on them
naijabreakingnews.blogspot.com
Women stay in abusive relationships cos they want to be beta then the others coupled with the fact that the society has made women feel like they r nothing if they r not under a man or have his surname.thus to be able to get to that point when u can call ur self Mrs... U take a lot of crap and bullshit from men that r not worth it.
Truth is if u are married to the right person,then marriage is enjoyable. If u r wit the wrong person, then u r beta off single!
And women should learn not to put other women down and gossip about them, so women can actually have confidence in confiding in other women and get the right advise n their ties of trouble.
Please Please, you are not married to him, do not go back. I beg you, if you had died would he have been buried with you. Remember life is short, do not let anyone make u unhappy in the time u are in it.Please get out b4 he kills you,pls.You did not come to this world with him.Pls, u will meet another person.
I hate this issue of abusive partners i swear!
My father never raised a hand on us his kids talk less of my mom all thru the years they were married, so I see no reason why I should tolerate that kind of behavior from any man.
I may not have anything oh, but if my partner tries to pull a stunt like that i shall pack my kaya and leave his sorry ass mschewwww!!!
@ ann 10:30, pls don't go bk 2 dat usless man of a husband, i was in ur shoes and i left, i was married 4 5yrs and he treated me badly lik u even infront of d'kids, its almost a yr i left n'trust me i ve found amazing men dat treat me lik a princess, goin bk will only giv him opportunity to finish u, forget wot pple say or call u, ure d'one wearing d'shoes nt dem, ure d'one recievin all d'beatins nt dem, dat man doesnt love u, forget him n'move on, God will see u tru, it may be difficult @ 1st but trust me u will pass tru it and u will be glad u did. Never go bk NEVER!! Tk care
please, please, please don't even tell me its love 'cos i wont buy that. mtcheeeeeww
pls dnt complain .u always stayed cos d guy pays for ur luxury ...jt keep dat ur mouth shut..if nt pls show us d pictures..
PRINCESS OF ZION ALWAYS COMMENTS HERE AND ON BELLA NAIJA.....DO YOU NOT DO ANYTHING ELSE WITH YOUR DAY???SMH
LOVE
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