Features of a good man... by a LIB reader

Another interesting article from the same guy who wrote on 'A good woman should do what in the morning?' that you all enjoyed yesterday (See here). Read his new piece below...

First of all, habaaaa na, what hapun? What I do na? See how the Female Association For Justice In Head / BJ Affairs of LIB jumped at me for my piece yesterday. Nooo, I never said my opinion was the answer, it was my 2 cents on the mentality the post was put out there in the first place. Chai, you ‘gehs’ can vex fire. Anyways, not to make that piece one sided, I’m putting this one to make us even on the matter but lemme clear a few points.

1.       Now, I never said this head of a thing is an everyday practice, I saw what you did in your comment @Osaretin Atohengbe, giving head everyday doesn’t qualify one as a good woman and returning the favour doesn’t have a clause except you as the woman ain’t hygienically clean, if you can’t take care of yourself especially down there, sorry, you don’t deserve that slurpy, tasty, lip-smacking, 10 - 20 minutes dry cleaning. Tip – don’t use soap to wash down there always, water has magical effects to replenish the nutrients. *dodges religious slap*

2.       Just because you want a head, you give us one – For that purpose alone? No, that’s blackmail, it’s a feeling, an erotic act which commands us to do so but talking about it to your partner helps you know how to handle it (You gotta catch up ladies). Hence, a head (good or bad) doesn’t qualify a woman as good.

3.       @Dazzle, what’s your definition of a weak game? I don’t think men here will agree with you on that. I agree that some of us have weak games but you cannot qualify a “superb headmistress” who services other men as a “good woman” hence the rest of your conclusion doesn’t rhyme for that fact.

4.       Men will always cheat irrespective of a good woman – TRUE THAT, even a good man and this is what it is - when you keep insisting that ALL MEN CHEAT, who do we cheat with- Goats, Scorpions? Isn’t it the same women who make noise about it that slip, trip and fall down on us “by accident?” besides, you put that notion in our minds and when we hear this “all men cheat” sequel about five million times from you, we might as well prove you right. What’s your usefulness to us when you can’t give us peace but rant, quarrel, retaliate, accuse, assume, fight, destroy, abuse and sing out loud that ALL MEN ARE CHEAT, “na all of us una sleep with? Who una help?” lol; if you BELIEVE and still insist that the male folk are dogs, then you’re the bones we feed on for that. *flees in 77 ways*

5.       You can have a good relationship without giving head abi? O……….k, issoraii, no problem, issokay………until he meets Karishika, you will know how far.

6.       A good woman wakes her man (not everyday oo) with head and it’s also true that some men don’t like it but I think it’s the way the woman attacks Django, you’ve gotta be creative woman! Ah ah, what’s wrong with you na? It’s yours, exercise your civil and human rights. And a man wakes his woman up with a bundle or stacks of clean notes - @Chioma Oranebo, even if it’s 5k or 100k, *lil kesh’s voice* you wee luv me ojare. Guys, a good woman will love you extra when you’re real with yourself, just cut your coat according to your size.

7.       All you holy women who pretend(ed) to be disgusted with me, y’all need to read this book – WHY MEN LOVE BITCHES, you will know how far, that your holier than thou hubby might just have a small phone for Tinuke’s call only, under the foot carpet of his car or under the heavy stack of papers in the glove compartment or the phone sef never leaves the 3^rd drawer of his desk at the office or he takes two of the same suit to work but you’ll never know *evil grin*. Keep jonzin way back to 1999. 

Now, for the topic at hand, here are SOME clear cut signs to spot a good man in our midst:

·         A good man will cook (If he knows how to) for you so as to prove to you that your place should be by his side and not the kitchen.

·         He adds 10k or 20k or 50k to your salary every month end just to prove his point, now if you earn more than him, never ever ever never ever put him down as if you’re a boss over him. Now if he’s the unemployed type and you’re employed, a good man will be bold enough to ask you to assist his aspirations as he presents a good business plan for it. Now, listen carefully you ladies that can go blind in giving money to these guys cos of love. Be smart, if the biz costs 100k to start, give him 50k and see if he can transform it into profit along the way, if he does, that’s your man, if not, don’t give him anymore (Will discuss this in the future, it’s mentally technical).

·         He doesn’t eat until he gets home to you after work.

·         He lets you know about the side chicks who want a piece of him, trust me, you knowing about them from him eases your fear than you finding out behind him. He trusts you, that alone should give you brain not to mess up REGULARLY.

·         All the things he did just to get you in the early stages of your courtship, he still does them till date.

·         He finds you always attractive because you’re always looking good for him, keeping yourself fit and cute in them nice bum-shorts, in short, you fill his fantasies of other girls.

·         He loves good music especially rap from B.I.G and (or) Tupac – don’t quote me on this

·         He doesn’t smoke but can drink occasionally.

·         He tells you all but not everything but you’ll never know this.

·         You guys quarrel and he listens to you especially when you’re truly sorry.

·         He squeezes that juicy, soft, smooth, jingly and bouncy booty in public just to see that epic look of shock and excitement from you. Guys, do this, even if she vex, that 5 – 10mins she’ll use to reminisce over it, her sub consciousness will love it, it never fails, I didn’t say squeeze like bread, are you mad? A nice 1 - 2 second(s) soft squeeze is ok.

I can go on and on but I’ll stop here, I don’t have all the answers but I sure know a whole lot, relationships aren’t easy and it takes a tag team of you and him to make it work, even when he fantasizes about that bigger booty chic at his office, that’s the best he can do – FANTASIZE, a real man will not jeopardize a good woman for that, why? The expenses alone to make that dream come true is fire, 90% are chances that he’ll get tired of dreaming and as long as you, you, you and you with the glasses and you squeezing face like spoilt beans and you giggling, as long as you keep staying fresh, smell tasty, rub his chest and peck him to show appreciation or bring out 100k from your savings (combo of his tushing you up and your salary @ work) just for him to use it to school you on a biz that’ll benefit both of you, dear good “bitchy” woman, you want head shey, you’ll get the complete dosage with extracurricular activities with a hulkish smashing by the side (18 rounds x 5 days / week should do you just fine…lol). Guys, I’ve set the bar now, if you’re tired of your good woman, yes, and this happens, we call it the “see-me-finish-syndrome”, don’t look at her the same way, last last, see her as one of the Kardashian girls you hate in front of your girl but love in private or those porn babes in the videos you save in hidden folders in your phone and finish her (come, you women shouldn’t go and start looking up his phone, give him benefit of doubt) and you “good women”, spice up your creativity jor, na 2016 we de enter so, don’t bring old skool sturvs and expect different results.

Ehen, dear new, old wannabe and extra haters, just because I called my set of good women bitches, doesn’t mean they are that, there’s a difference between a bitch and a BITCH e.g: @A***bi Igwe and my true strong good women here in LIB NATION are all fine successful erudite and ultra classy bitches, *peeps from roof*, ok, we good. While all you female haters *10 seconds Yoruba sigh* y’all are angry with yourselves for not been fine hence, y’all are bad broke BINSHES *hides behind Linda Ikeji’s Range Rover*.

-          Richie.

For those who have blossoming relationships presently, look into your boos eyes and say

BABY KPALANGA,

I WEE SHOW U LOVE THAT U NEVER SEE……….…DURO