By their lips you shall know them - Etcetera | Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog

LI_Leaderboard_4

LI_Leaderboard_1

LI_Leaderboard_2

LI_Leaderboard_3

Saturday, 7 March 2015

By their lips you shall know them - Etcetera

Singer turned writer Etcetera writes again...very interesting!
‘Hi, Uche or Etcetera or coma or whatever that singer called you the last time. Guest what?’
‘Guest what? At this time of the day? Chudi, in case you didn’t notice, it is still 2am in naija and you are calling me to guest what?
‘Hey Chudi, you guest what?’
I’m hanging up this phone now and am going back to sleep. Mscheeew. Effing diasporans with no respect for time difference.’

‘Uche, you are dead when I get to that house if you dare hang up the phone on me.’
‘If you get to what house? Chudi what are you talking about? I thought you quit doing drugs?’
‘I don’t do drugs Uche, I only smoke marijuana which is legal where I reside in America and I haven’t smoke in hours since I boarded my flight to Nigeria. I’m right at the airport in Lagos now. Can you please come get me from this place?’

‘Chudi, please I don’t have time for this madness. It is too early for your pranks.’
‘Chudi, I swear I’m in Nigeria for real, I’m at the airport. We just landed’
‘Seriously? Chudi, but you should have informed me before coming na. Ok, I am on my way. Give me about 30 minutes, I’ll be there.’

So that’s how I picked up my fave cousin at the airport and after the hugging and few minutes of catching up, he asked if we could make a stop at the shrine on our way home. He said he’s heard so much about it and would love to see what it really looks like.

‘Chudi, what did you hear about the shrine that you are so eager to see at this time of the morning? Or you’ve been told they smoke igbo there and you think you can blackmail me with the things you claim to have bought for me to take you there right? For you info, as a personal rule, I only go to the shrine when I am scheduled to perform. However, if you want us to make a stop at St. Leo’s Catholic Church for the morning mass, that would be fine.’

‘Please spare me the sermon Uche. I only want to visit the shrine like every other tourist.’
‘You mean visit like every other igbo smoker? Chudi, I will take you there at the appropriate time for your so-called tourist visit. On a second thought, I could take you there on my way to the radio station this evening and pick you up later when I am done. Apparently, Femi is rehearsing this evening.’
‘Fantastic. Seems I’ll be enjoying a combo of live afrobeat music and scooshi and some pure naija marijuana tonight. What a way to hit the sky.’

Upon our arrival at the shrine that evening, I was greeted by a chant from some people around who recognised me. Three guys looking stoned as hell walked up to us shouting ‘Etc baba, haa! Our own don better today. Baba Etc, how far naa? How many wraps you want? We dey sell rizla too. Na your broda be dis? Una resemble oo.’
 
My cousin was already taken with their lingo. He was really fascinated by one among them, who looked like one of the zombies in Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” video. He was gawking at the black nylon bag which this individual was carrying. We didn’t need to inspect the bag to know that it contained igbo. So they didn’t get it twisted, I quickly told them that I didn’t smoke. They just look at each other and laughed like hyenas. With one of them saying, “Baba, talk another tin. With this your hair? Abeg you dey smoke. You wey be musician?

“Baba, e no get any naija entertainer wey no dey smoke igbo. Even sef, na the girls smoke pass. I no dey talk about Tonto oo, everybody already know say dat one na mama nla igbolabi.

But how una take dey know female entertainers wey dey smoke and the ones wey no dey smoke?
‘Baba Etc, no let their pink lips deceive you oo. Dem dey do pink lips for Ikeja under-bridge. We know sey dem dey smoke because we dey supply most of dem igbo for their house and others dey come choco for here direct.

Baba, I know say you no go beleive because dey no dey do am for public but we wey dey supply the tin no say she dey choco wella. We fit even give you names of female entertainers wey smoke igbo pass Baba Fela.

‘Oh my God, these are our role models and you are saying they all smoke igbo?’
‘Hahaha, Baba Etc, we dey tell you say dem smoke pass Fela, you dey say dem be role models. Role models ko, rolling models ni.’

‘What about the male entertainers, una no talk their own?’
‘Bros Etc, why you wan waste our time? Those ones dey smoke anything wey enter their mouth. Una dey talk say naija music don spoil finish. So una no know say na igbo dey cause am? All their music dey sound the same way because all igbo smokers dey think the same way.’
‘Ok guys, make I waka before I late for my radio show. Chudi, see you later ok?’

152 comments:

Njika Innocent said...

Dis Nigga should go nd get a life naa

@lwkmd_naija - follow on instagram/twitter said...

I love this dude. He is the truth but he too dey talk like woman. Lindaobserve

@lwkmd_naija - follow on instagram/twitter said...

I love this dude. He is the truth but he too dey talk like woman. Lindaobserve

Anonymous said...

This mad man again???






LMAO why you shouldn't see 50 shades of grey with your nigerian girlfriend (must read)

Anonymous said...

Didn't read it joor...who read it shld pls help us summarise

Anonymous said...

too long abeg
aittyfinest xyz

ROYAL PRIESTHOOD said...

Lolzzzz

N and N said...

Seen

Oluchi Lambert said...

This guy should go and sleep joor.

nwokolo nkechi said...

U bloggers keeep promoting this failed singer hun

ROYAL PRIESTHOOD said...

Wow! Indeed he is singer turned writer. He is really gifted in writing. I believe he can used and direct dis gift to better tins dat wil fetch him money. Thumbs up to him.

Victoria Inyang said...

And the moral of the story is????? "I left chudi there to get high too"

This isnt interesting as others jor!!

D J STELCH said...

Hehehehehe, Funny Guy!! Igbo is For Inspiration.. RAPS IN THE CHOKO..
.
.
.
.NOTE: Raise Your Words, Not Your Voice. It Is Rain That Grows Flowers, Not Thunder..

Stuch Bedsheet said...

They will come for him again, nice one.

Order for your beautiful bedspread @ 79AEFD3B. Delivery available nationwide.

Good love maker said...

OK

femi emmanuel said...

Etcetera again!!! kinda funny tho.... I like the "rolling model" part.

Olumide David said...

"Guest what" ? TF is that ? is this from etcetera or Linda? Linda is prone to error all the time so i wouldnt put it beyond her!
Etcetera ...go and smoke igbo with ur cousin nau abi wetin concern me ..ur lips sef kuku black so no diff.

Anonymous said...

etcetera ooo. u will not kil somebody.. always saying things shaaa







GET PAID FROM THIS

Victoria George said...

Naughty Etcetera is at it again Choi!

LAURAAUJ KAHI said...

LMAO!!! This guy get time sha, he won't stop. Its nothing new to us that musicians smoke Iboo (Marijuana). Simply #Morale high#sofarigodanceshoki#

glowy shoe said...

Lol..this guy is very funny....i love his boldness..lmao

www.glowyshoe.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

aah finally read it,one word,,,,senseless!!boring.im sure he was high on igbo whn he wrote thz piece
aittyfinest xyz

Faith Sams said...

Etc be looking for tonto's trouble nw

Gray said...

Why is the his write-up short today? I was really enjoying it, and was expecting to hear more juicy details.

carina jacob said...

Lol. I hope he doesn't get beaten one day. Must tonto name be mentioned? Haba! Etcetera get mouth sha!

Francis Okoduwa said...

Interesting read , but this part 'all igbo smokers dey think the same way'. extremely false

christie benjamin said...

Lol....I wonder who he's referring to this time around.....


::::::::::::::::::::::::QUEENMAYA::::::::::::::::::

BONARIO NNAGS said...

Lol funny piece, this is for those always kissing MaryJabe and are left with black lips.

~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA LUMIA

emike marian said...

Igbolabi tonto?? Loooool. Dis etc na case,buh on a serious note,not all naija female artist dey high joor.#Asa n Gloria maduka

tolu adewunmi said...

This guy has interesting reads,I'll give him that.

elizabeth nwankwo said...

Gosh! I love this...rolling models...got me cracked up!### I long to write abt etc smday#loving him day by day

RareSpecie Z said...

Dude is becoming a Hero by the day. The scumbag is a type of dude that u love 2 hate n still hate 2 love.

Afolaranmi Ifeoluwa said...

Na wa for dis dude

Anonymous said...

Sorry, ain't got time to read this bullshit.

#king KingOfKings #6God said...

Moral of story? bullcrap..bro u just made it up..who sabi u? how will they recognise a dead artist?.if u sound different just drop a single lets see if u will win grammy..schoolbag..pple smoke weed in shrine and so? attention seeker..

Real Dear said...

The writer has a punctuation problem. Please go and read a good novel and after that you re-write that piece, This is an advice to be given and I volunteer to give it

Owakayi Adamu said...

Taah... Bullshit. Evri1's responsible 4 dia

FREEDOM said...

and what is the message here ? Linda why you sef dey give this E.T.C publicity? any message here? so na because of igbo smoking artists naija music don spoil? how come Baba Fela music na forever???

chukwunonso okafor said...

Bunch of rubbish... This guy is going insane gradually...

Owakayi Adamu said...

Taah... Bullshit. Evri1's responsible 4 dia actions neva blame on da kush!

chuma'cent said...

Lol...I'm still laughing...good one ETC

Shina Shine said...

lol




#Commenting thru Glo 4G LTE

prettiyz said...

Was that a story or a test to know how long he csan write

chemmywalata walata said...

Ahahahah

IBK said...

Haaa. Etc no well....waiting for the rebuttal frm anyone the shots fired hit...

igwe Adaobi said...

Etc leave naija celebs alone o
I know he was talking about wizkid going to ikeja under bridge to do pink lips
No be your mouth them use smoke am now

Funmilayo Sokoya said...

Woteva rocks there boat

ukwumaka theophilus said...

Lmao @ everybody know say Tonto dey choco. So all our naija celebs na ganja men and women.





Busy Fingers.

Mercy Kings said...

Lol he has enter trouble from dis guys oh do not involve den on ur column iur brother dey there oh he can be attacked lol

Ms Air said...

Etc......

Emperor said...

Hahahahahaha Chei!! i like this guy.

Mojoyinola Oji said...

Quite boring please

Anonymous said...

Wetin be 'guest what'?

lumen white said...

Jobless Man...Tonto kill you!!! Y her Name??

CO THE BEST said...

It is not easy to sit down and write, I shall give you the credit. Good job

Anonymous said...

Etcetera, really? 'Guest' what? Really??? Guest??? As you yab people reach, so, you nor fit spell 'guess'??? Na wa o! Please, focus on fixing your vocabulary, biko. Remove the log in your eyes before talking about the speck other people have.

Anonymous said...

Yawn. He wrote this because he had a deadline to meet and nothing to say.

ado ali said...

No wonder all their music na shout shout plenty pass and repetitive lines.

@Osirmah said...

Mtcheeew just wasted ma time going tru dis crap, dis ETC z just a jobless fool! Now u r sounding so annoying! Linda u r giving dis guy so much attention! Pls allow him write n read his rubbish himself, pls don't share it with us again! Broke ass make d loudest noise!

FF on IG n Twitter @Osirmah

shilz said...

Lol..he yaf com again

Juliet Amilegbe said...

Clap for etcetera! Nice one

mirian godson said...

Seen.

Juliet Amilegbe said...

Clap for etcetera! Nice one

irabo bobby fera favor said...

Lmao!!!!!!!!!! @ totoo dike day igbola wela! Lol

Anonymous said...

The guy na mumu hin no sabi sing again na stupidity kill am

Saosao said...

This guy is frustrated and getting dry.

Cee speaks said...

Never reading anything by this guy. It'll probably be a waste of time. Yes I'm being judgemental,, just like him :) mtcheeew ----C21

Petite Diva said...

Na wa o....
review of why men marry bitches

Anonymous said...

Haha this guy funny o.Wow! Linda, You guess what? Lol. There is a very good revealing exclusive about the late Actor Muna Obiekwe on Angeleze.blogspot.com

Kingsley Bassey said...

Haaaaa yawn no make brain uncle etcetera try something different next time thanks,.#THAT AKWA IBOM BOY#

Queen yorkara said...

Hmmmm? So wetin come concern u for inside na? Na ur mouth dem take smoke am? Etc i no knw y u no fit my ur business for one second, mtcheeew, jack of all trade master of none, etc ni full stop ko, my ur business joor

swtcherry said...

lol this guy is funy##wink


fredy obot said...

It makes no sence to me

Chidiebere Nweke said...

Lol...dat one sure pass...M I na chairman for that side na

ary said...

LOL, this is hilarious! Especially the part about all our artiste sounding alike, this makes real sense! LMAO

Adeniyi Adeyinka said...

lol

Williams Newton said...

Lolz.... Quite intresting!! Very funny @ role models ko, rolling models ni.

Williams Newton said...

Lolz.... Quite intresting!! Very funny @ role models ko, rolling models ni.

Williams Newton said...

Lolz.... Quite intresting!! Very funny @ role models ko, rolling models ni.

Williams Newton said...

Lolz.... Quite intresting!! Very funny @ role models ko, rolling models ni.

kenneth jochiedozie said...

lol..what good rolling models they are *wink*, but Etcetera can't deny the fact he has never done it once. so don't cast a stone on others when you are also guilty.. though i like the part he suggested going to the early morning mass *hahaahaha* hilarious

Williams Newton said...

Lolz.... Quite intresting!! Very funny @ role models ko, rolling models ni.

Angie Cape said...

Haha.... Na dem sabi!

Williams Newton said...

Lolz.... Quite intresting!! Very funny @ role models ko, rolling models ni.

Juliet Iwuno said...

Okiie o, I'm still 'Guesting what o'. LMAO. Well done Etcetera. Linda take note!

Juliet Iwuno said...

Okiie o, I'm still 'Guesting what o'. LMAO. Well done Etcetera. Linda take note!

Juliet Iwuno said...

Okiie o, I'm still 'Guesting what o'. LMAO. Well done Etcetera. Linda take note!

Juliet Iwuno said...

Okiie o, I'm still 'Guesting what o'. LMAO. Well done Etcetera. Linda take note!

Anonymous said...

The female folks smoke more ,I believe that

Anonymous said...

Biko etcetera what is "guest what"??? Guest what???? Twice for that matter!! REALLY? In short, the grammatical blunders in this piece of writing just put me off completely! Chai

olubukola bakare said...

Lol+including wizkid wey dey sing rubbish.my grandma was listening to 'in my bed' dis morning wen I was playing it and she was like get out of dis house wit ur rubbish.lolzzz

Dennis Power said...

Lolz, really interesting piece.. Am a fan of dis dude nw oooo, always looking forward to his next n den d next piece from him... He is so winning coz each time he speaks, he says nothing short of d truth.. Always on point

olubukola bakare said...

Lol+including wizkid wey dey sing rubbish.my grandma was listening to 'in my bed' dis morning wen I was playing it and she was like get out of dis house wit ur rubbish.lolzzz

#kokomistress# said...

Issokae

ELVIS EMEKA said...

No be today and no be news...next plz!

Damolia De Best said...

Plz beta news ...

Anonymous said...

Really enjoyed this write up. But etcetera ur lips black die na

Anonymous said...

Am not a smoker but I don't think igbo is the reason our music in Nigeria all sound the same. Americans do smoke but their music don't sound the same way. Our problem is we just celebrate nonsense.

ed DREAMZ said...

a.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said...
.
Lmaooo........ Very funny write...... Tonto o, i thought she has stopped smoking.....
.
.
***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***

Anonymous said...

A lot of dem celebs smoke weed including the females..lemme not name names but dey know them selves.

Anonymous said...

i laugh at this " Una dey talk say naija music don spoil finish. So una no know say na igbo dey cause am? All their music dey sound the same way because all igbo smokers dey think the same way."

Anonymous said...

etcetra u can as wel chanel ur writing skills into writng inspiring things im also a writer.instead of lashing out 'celebbrities'

Anonymous said...

Ahahahahah....I laugh in Japanese...

Anonymous said...

Hilarous. Babaa Etc you cracked me up. Still laughing...Of course they are SmokeStars now...Nothing new there. Second base oh jare...

tochukwu okoli said...

*yawns* Boooring !!!... Or mayb I'm not getting the yabs

Anonymous said...

Biko, how is this stuff interesting?

CELEB said...

Dis guy loves wahalA

OGUNDIRAN OYINDAMOLA said...

Honestly, dis guy is smtin else. Jst watch ur back cos dey r after u

OGUNDIRAN OYINDAMOLA said...

Honestly, dis guy is smtin else. Jst watch ur back cos dey r after u

OGUNDIRAN OYINDAMOLA said...

Honestly, dis guy is smtin else. Jst watch ur back cos dey r after u

gidis said...

Mtchew....poor write up n lacks creativity!!!

Saidat Onibeju said...

Kikikikiki.....all of our musicians are igbo smokers both male and female

Bibian Obunse said...

Lol@ rolling model, but nawa o!...

isaac damon said...

Lol....lil since of humor....entertainers all round d world deals with drugs so he should shut d crap ....like asking pastor what he is doing with anointing oil...I don't smoke but neither am i against smokers ...is a free world

isaac damon said...

Lol....lil since of humor....entertainers all round d world deals with drugs so he should shut d crap ....like asking pastor what he is doing with anointing oil...I don't smoke but neither am i against smokers ...is a free world

Anonymous said...

Exetera you mean to tell me people know who you are? Like you walk in the streets and people Recognize you? Bloody liar!

Jules Louis said...

Lmao @ Dem dey do pink lips for Ikeja under-bridge.

Sarah Asuquo said...

Haha...role models ko, rolling models ni...

princessD said...

funny and real

Tope Fatunmbi said...

It's funny, but on the second thought, what is the essence of this write up. I feel he didn't drive home the point. Waiting for celebs to come after etc.

Oluwakacy said...

Lmao @ their description of Tonto as 'Mama nla igbolabi'...

Anonymous said...

Etcetera it is not "Guest what", it is "Guess what". We can mention very prominent people, role models who have all taken hard drugs one time or the other e.g Obama, George Bush... i can go on and on... You are in no way better than any of these people. Your shallow view towards life as a whole should automatically disqualify you as a writer not to mention your poor choice of words.

You are a pity case bro. As shallow as a tea spoon.

MS ADA....... said...

you just want to spoil this girl's name saint Etc. na wa for you...this you wrote is just about tonto, maybe she denied you s*x

Subomi said...

Don't have time for this nuisance

Anonymous said...

Imagine! Guest wat instead of Guess wat.. hmm. this guy wan open all these entertainers nyash oh.. see as dem even finish Tonto. its well!

clement onu said...

Magnifico this guy is good

Anonymous said...

Lol!!!!!!! This guy is crazy mehn!

NaijaDeltaBabe said...

Okay

onah EMMANUEL EROCHUKWU said...

Msteeeew

gwomson GWOMSON said...

Obviously he's got nothing to writE this time, wait oooo honestly this write up is sooo unlike etc's partern of writing, bia lindodo r u sure he wrote this? Then he must joined the igbo smoking community..........#OYeGO!!!...... Linda Return My Ring!!

honey ugochi said...

And who's gonna read all that??? Hey dude!!! Go take several seats. U aint gat nothing to sai.

Anonymous said...

What's new in igbo when we know all of them smokes.

Camila Acafa said...

Who this write up help?!

Chidinma Grace said...

Hahahahahhhahaaa etcetra etcetra na ur way o.

Anonymous said...

Its a shame you don't recognize good intellectual work when u see one... This piece my friend is d handy work of a sound intellectual mind, a guy who knows how to cut his onions... As for u, I'll advice u go back to school, that's if u even went to any.

Anonymous said...

Brother etc...I don't know who u are but I have read a lot of things u write cos I read everything on this blog..it seems u r always looking for ways to pick on our naija entertainers..u were once a part of this group..why are u taking it upon yourself to bring the next man down..trust me u are making more enemies than friends wif all this write ups..some day u mite need help and pple will turn their backs on u...im not sayin u shouldn't write or speak the truth but somethings speak good about ur brother man..we are all here trying to feed...we are here for all of us...#stophatin

Anonymous said...

Are you related to retard Juliet Iwuno. The hustle for the 100k end of the year giveaway is real. The likes of you and other retards like Royal Priesthood.

Anonymous said...

I know all the igbo smokers will take offence now....That's how to recognise kids that have little brains to read and understand...most of you guys missed the storyline because of your hate for Etcetera....fools I got one message for you, he has a life and he's living it, what about you hypocrites???!!!

Anonymous said...

Your hustle for the 100k end of the year giveaway is real motherfucker.

Chef Dimario Emmanuelle' said...

why dis short nau? was realy enjoying d gossip. Etc baba!

Anonymous said...

I love this mumu guy, Igbo is just an herb, God created it like he create uncle Adam and aunty Eve

Etheal Okpa said...

Etc should rest already

udeze obumneme said...

Lol

Ogiri Adaeze said...

if this piece of shit is wat u call knowng how to cut an onions then u equally dnt have a life cuz if u do u would be minding ur bizness

Ogiri Adaeze said...

exactly my point

Monica Lawrencee said...

Lmao....funny but I believe most entertainer are on something especially when they go on stage.....linda I have spoken

Anonymous said...

aitty olosho! Mad man like say dat ur guy no de dope... M.I

ushie sunday said...

Seriously you guys should watch out for ETC his going to be the next big thing

Anonymous said...

Negative or positive, its all down to relevancy,

HRH Jefixx👸 said...

And y had to name tonto? Guy u dey find poko trouble o,go and take a chill pill niccur!

FEMSTIC said...

Nah u say soooooo! http://tinyurl.com/pfgxd4d

BREAST AND HIP ENLARGMENT WITHOUT SURGERY 52E85DB5 said...

I wish he can write a hit song too












Breast, hip, butt, penis enlargement without surgery, skin toning, erectile dysfunction, libido booster solutions add 52E85DB5

Recent Posts