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Thursday, August 8, 2013

Sexual harrassment in workplace: It Happened To Me - Chika Oduah

Chika Oduah, a journalist based in Abuja, shares an account of her sexual harassment in her former workplace. Find it below..
I got a job in New York City a few years ago. I was new to the American North; I still reeked of the South. Pillsbury biscuits, Georgian peaches and Jiffy cornbread with a dollop of Daisy. Chick-Fil-A, Bojangles’ and Piggly Wiggly. I was a Southern American, in many ways. Cheerful, trusting, polite, Bible-wielding, slow-talkin’, Southern. South of the Potomac, East of the Mississippi. Paisley print blouses, plastic sunflowers hot glued on Payless Shoes open-toe rubber sandals. But I was all right, I guess. Perhaps a bit wide-eyed, gap-tooth grinning, but I was all right.
The job was with a news media outfit that covers Africa and the affairs of the black Diaspora. It was fashionable, in every sense, that media company. Funded by big-name multinationals, Third World saviors, it sought to tackle malfeasance and corruption with heavy handed, not always credible citizen reportage. The company had made its name among particular Westerners and Fela-loving expatriate Africans, students of the school of thought that says African governments need a total sociopolitical upheaval to weed out the kleptocrats before anything substantial can be planted, plug in the former student union grassroots activists who give a care about the proletariat, slum dwellers, retired civil servants, and unemployed twenty somethings. A single-handed crusade propelled by American dollars and mercenary Africaphiles, this media company had recruited a handful of passionate, impressionable youngsters with a compelling allegiance to Africa. Aluta Continua! Help the motherland. We thought, or at least I did.

So I went to work. My title was a new one. Within that role, I initiated new projects, helped revive slumbering ventures, planned and promoted the awesomeness of the company — what we were doing and where we hoped to go. I tuned in, excited about every single part of the job. Everything seemed fine in the beginning.

I went out with the boss one evening to hang out after work. I was still new to the North, still new to the city. A Nigerian immigrant in his early 40s, the boss had a hip rugged fashion aesthetic, quintessentially urban: distressed brown jackets and boots, a hefty brown backpack. He was the rebel with a cause, a card-carrying activist. Encrusted in the syrupy coos of his admirers, he has fans on both sides of the Atlantic. He was charisma defined.

He’d been nice to me thus far, a listening ear for my Southerner’s rants and observations on northern culture. We walked around the street corner to a swanky new spot with a shiny glass exterior and perfumed-scented, dimly lit interior. Good living people in stiletto pumps and crisp blazers, leather and lace, hung there. He led me to a couch in the corner where we sat down. I don’t drink, so I didn’t order. We chit chatted pleasantly about school, guys, Africa, Nigerians, our past, our future.

When we get up to leave, he grabs my waist. He pulls me to his chest. He leans in for a kiss. My stunned mind stops thinking. It shuts down; I hurry to turn it back on. Easy, Chika. Don’t embarrass the man. Take it easy. I slide out of his arms with a surprising calm. I’m just not interested. I say his name for effect. It works. He gets the point, yet the perplexity in his eyes remains. I never bring it up. It’s like it never happened. It never happened again.

As time goes on, I grew in confidence at work as I befriended my fellow colleagues and further solidified my commitment to “the Africa cause” and to excel in my job performance. I began expressing my opinions about the way things were done, and offering suggestions on how I thought we could improve in production quality and efficiency. The boss welcomed the suggestions, in the beginning, but only to a certain extent.

Time after time, I begin to notice a pattern: he seemed to have issues with women, especially expressive women with a backbone.

“She’s arrogant,” he would often say with a sneer and a dismissive shrug whenever I would mention names of high-profile successful women I admired. Whether it was author Chimamanda Adichie, or a well-known female journalist, or a female politician, it seemed all successful women were inherently arrogant to him.

Eventually, my efforts at work never seem good enough. The boss is known to be hot-tempered and I was often on the receiving end of his sarcastic remarks, his angst, his frustration, and disapproval. Any gaps from my colleagues, anything they failed to do, it was usually my fault. I was the office scapegoat. Some of my colleagues noticed this. They’d throw me sympathetic glances or they’d simply try to ignore the situation and keep their eyes glued to their computer screens. After such occurred not once or twice or thrice but on multiple instances, I soon became aware of the hierarchy. My male colleagues seldom received the boss’s butchering complaints. I’d arrive to work and the boss would remain silent to my greetings. My male colleagues would arrive and the boss would say hey what’s up man and crack jokes with them and have a jolly good time. He had a propensity to engage in sex jokes with my male colleagues, the kind of lewd comedy high school boys often entertain.

My female colleagues usually fulfilled the boss’s wishes without much objection, but on the whole, it looked to me like the guys were coasting.

In my role at work, I was frequently undermined. He’d constantly override decisions I had already made with his prior authorization. He’d demean my work in the presence of others. He’d sometimes shut down my attempts to join the staff in their friendly, office banter. He rarely expressed gratitude about my initiatives and strategies that were clearly having a positive effect on the company.
“Do you really think you’re directing anything?” A colleague once asked me.
The situation deteriorated. I pushed myself harder, completing massive amounts of work by staying late into the night when everyone else had gone home. Graveyard shifting, early mornings. He began shouting at me in the workplace in front of my colleagues. My cheerful, trusting, polite, Bible-wielding, slow-talkin’, Southern mannerisms were dissipating. The city was taking its toll on me. I felt like discarded mush. I planned my exit. Looked for another job.

One day he called me to meet him in the office. In the meeting, he said the company is losing money, said he had to let me go. Though I was the one who was suddenly unemployed, it was his emotions and composure that began to unravel as I fought to keep the work I had produced – works that were mine. The payment I was promised because I was not given notice of my termination in advance, he didn’t pay me anywhere near half of it. He lied and said I was never even employed, said I was just a contractor, a freelancer or something like that. My work agreement had conveniently disappeared from where I had placed it inside my work desk months ago. The intervention meeting we were supposed to have where we were supposed to present our cases before two or three mediators, well, that was conveniently cancelled. A male colleague and a prominent columnist with the company intervened, but nothing much came out of it. Perhaps, they – both guys – ended up siding with the boss.
Because the boss had already depicted me as “one of those” power-hungry, erratic, opinionated, overly assertive, selfish girls, one who eagerly challenged his authority. That false image suited his chauvinistic motives.
“You like attention,” he once told me.
Wrong. I’m actually as shy as a kiwi bird.
“You’re a career woman,” he once told me. It came out as a judgmental scoff. He’s a career man himself, but because it’s more socially acceptable for men to devote much time and energy to their professional lives, the term “career man” is seldom used.
In the workplace, women often work twice as hard as their male colleagues, yet still face the brunt of disapproval when things don’t go right, while male colleagues seem to get by. We put in overtime – a 2013 study from the Ponemon Institute revealed that women employees “work harder and longer” than men do. Another 2013 study from Edith Cowan University and the University of New England found that “women experience more rude and disrespectful behavior in the workplace, but they tolerated it more.”  We continuously strive to be on the good side of the boss. Women seem to always be compensating for something. Their womanhood?
Most of the women who worked at that company hardly objected or posed a challenge to my former boss’s sugarcoated slurs and sly insolence. But I had an opinion and I voiced it. My opinions, my free-willed spirit and intolerance for nonsense cost me my job… for that I am grateful.
My former boss’s attitude toward women is not unique.

I had a conversation with a gentleman here in Nigeria who said women in positions of power always become over-bearing, whereas men know how to handle leadership and success with humility.
“It gets to their heads,” he said of women in management roles.
Looking back, I realize that my experience at that New York City-based media company was not atypical. I wrote this piece “It Happened To Me” bolstered by the courage I summoned immediately after reading a blog post a few days ago (read here) entitled “The White Savior Industrial Complex & Sexual Harassment of African Female Aid Workers” by Lesley Agams. Agams vividly describes an assault by a male colleague while working as the Nigeria country director for the renown Oxfam GB. After the assault, the man in question handed her a contract termination letter. Many of my fellow women have confided in me, sharing harrowing real-life tales of near-rape incidents in the workplace, cases where they were told to sleep with the boss to get a promotion, and aggressive intimidation by male supervisors.
And it’s not only the overtly patriarchal, “man-is-the-head” types who are committing this abuse.
It’s also the hash-tagging, progressive, left-winged liberals garbed in trendy activist attire: thick soled boots and dashikis, plaid button-downs and worn blue jeans with worn sneakers, or cropped blazers over cotton shirts without neckties. These activists are too often propped up in a righteous spotlight. They march on as darlings of the revolution, unexamined. Their act-ivism is unstoppable… their acts, unstoppable.
I met one of these young self-titled human rights activist types. He was among those arrested for protesting during the 2012 Occupy Nigeria rallies. This guy picks and chooses his causes and apparently the advancement of women is not one of them. In his mind, women’s rights are not important enough. After I voiced my opposition to his foul groping and leering sexual advances on me, he told me “women’s rights are not human rights.”
Even the Pan-African activist revolutionary himself, Fela Kuti once sang, “When I say woman na mattress I no lie.”
Confiding in others about incidents of workplace harassment and intimidation often backfires. Some employees get terminated. Others stay in those toxic work environments after they are made to doubt their own perceptions.
Relax, calm down, maybe it’s your imagination, it’s no big deal, maybe you’re just stressed out, well you know you’re very pretty, he didn’t mean it that way, dress more conservatively, forget about it, maybe you led him on, well… ignore it, just pray about it, you can be very emotional, you’re being dramatic, um…stop working late hours in the office, say no next time, these things happen, you’re overreacting, are you sure?
Yes, I am sure.
Harassment is still harassment whether in the form of intimidation in the workplace, sexual propositions or subtle or obvious oppression.
In his 1,621-word editorial, (which you can read here) Los Angeles-based social commentator Yashar Ali compares the emotional manipulation and harassment of women to gaslighting, a coined term referencing the 1944 feature movie in which Charles Boyer’s character employs wily strategies to make his wife, played by Ingrid Bergman, believe she is crazy. Off the Hollywood production sets, real life is full of cases where women, distressed in the workplace, keep quiet for fear of being labeled troublesome. Or crazy. They allow perpetrators to go free, especially when the perpetrator is a popular man.

If we share our experiences collectively, we can break down the wall of silence.
It’s time to tell our stories.

221 comments:

1 – 200 of 221   Newer›   Newest»
Bina said...

Too long joor...couldn't continue.

Anonymous said...

Awwwwww wen I read diz on bellanaija I felt it. Its quite true n happen everyday. May God save us women!

SimpleMr said...

Lin lin, enuf wt al d lengthy posts! Whu has tym 2 read al dese afta d mumu shit by d mumu masquerade u put up days back

Anonymous said...

long story. but she really is a pretty woman!

Sunday Otuns said...

There is no woman that will resist her boss sexual advances.every women love to date successful men at the top.woman,dont pretend you do want that boss in you.women nature.

Anonymous said...

Very nice post linda.thanks for sharing!please SAY NO TO SEXUAL INDISCRIMINATION.it is evil.may God help us all.

Judge, Jury, Executioner said...

All of you complaining that the post is too long are just morons! If it was a story of Iyanya shagging some airhead of a starlet now, or Afro Candy shooting a new porno, your rheumy eyes would dart back and forth, your whitlowed fingers would hurriedly type, "first to comment", "Linda, post my comment o..."
Blockheads!

Umeh Oma said...

Yes it ΐs; buh if u fast read it u will understand its a big case

Idem said...

I feel very sad when I go tru comments after such a powerful & thought-provoking piece only to find pple complaining abt its lenght.Our pple are just lazy & that is the bane of our problems. All we ever seem to have enough time for is silly gossips about celebrities & stuff that will generally never add any value to our existence.

I totally agree with u Ms Oduah, it's time to tell our stories.

Anonymous said...

Women of these days tire me I beg.
If you are not really interested in your boss, what did you decided to hang out with him for?
In your own words, you wrote that you decided to hang out in a bar with your boss after work. What kind of messages or vibes do you think you were passing on to this your 'boss'?
What kind of women hangs out with their bosses after work? Was hanging out with your boss after work part of your work schedule?
I bet you knew that man was happily married and u still decided to go to a club or bar with him and now you are claiming ignorance and innocence after being tossed like a rotten milkshake.

If you have a boyfriend at that time, dont u think your boyfriend would have felt offended by u hanging out with men after work? What do you think your boyfriend would have thought of you for that singular act?
They lured a man on and once the man makes his move, they now start claiming sexual molestation.

This is becoming too ridiculous. Every little thing is now sexual harassment.
Meanwhile all the women at my work-place, both married and unmarried keeps on wearing tight pants, showing off their booties' in front of me all the time.
Maybe I should file complaints of sexual harassment against all of them. At times I wonder what kinds of men allowed their wives to dress so revealing.
One can't even concentrate at work with all these Bs and Hs all over with their cleavages poking at you.

Why do women acts like this? If you don't like a guy, don't entertain him, period. Don't give him audience. Let him realize that you are unavailable upfront. Don't start wearing miniskirts and very tight pants in front of him, shaking your Yansh front left to back right, only for you to start feeling cheap and offended when the man respond by making moves on you.

You better beg for forgiveness from God and repent so that you can get a real man who will wife u up after all your escapades with men both married and unmarried all over the places you have worked.
I rest my case.
olu@atlanta.



Anonymous said...

Too much grammatics to get to the simple point. Moreover this whole I am an american "sawtherner" thingy is so just not well placed with being nigerian in the writeup. Seems contrived but who am I??

CHOPPEY said...

Reading this post gave me some aha! moments. I have had my share of harrasment in the office. Working with a man who believes no one's opinion but his counts is sickening. U dare question him and down goes your appraisal rating. More sickening is the fact that those who fall victim happen to be women who according to him are 'fish brains'. It is sad, very sad.

Anonymous said...

It happens and has happen to me twice. Being a hourglass lady, my boss wants to have sex with me and bcos I cut his bluff, he instigate pple against me. You don't have to be on make up, tight dress before skirt chaser chase you.... Its sooo pathethic

Anonymous said...

Beautiful post.
Those that are commenting that it's too long should go and get an education.

Anonymous said...

It hpns evrywhr..
~D great anonymous!

staff said...

Stupid nigerians and their simple minds, they can't read lengthy beneficial articles but can read stupid texts about "Wizkid" FOOLS.

BY THE WAY I THINK SHE SHOULD FILE A CLASS ACTION, I AM A MAN and I THINK MEN WHO REASON LIKE HIM ARE INSECURE BASTARDS, THEY IRRITATE ME

JJ said...

Hi Chika, I missed you at Sahara Reporters. I really enjoyed your video programs. You were the star in that organization. I had been wondering where you went.

I'm sorry to hear about all the sexual harassment you went through. No human being deserves harassment of any kind in the workplace. Even us men experience it in one form or another. If you've worked in America, racial harassment is so ever present. Any type of harassment demeans the person being harassed, strips them of their dignity and reduces their contribution in the workplace.

I'm glad you found work in Nigeria. I think you should have reported your boss to the organizations that fund their news program. I don't think any responsible NGO would like to be associated with a organization that mistreats their employees.

Good luck in your new endeavors.

Anonymous said...

Lovely!!!!!! D writer took every word right out of my mind. I've gone through d same ordeal especially in school and have had women tell me I'm lucky I got married quite early and have something to hide under to avoid some of these problems but I immediately say i am ready to fight it tooth and nail. Dats why I've always wanted to be my own boss as soon as possible to be able to stand on my two feet and fight the motherf........s. we women need to cal a spade a spade and stop accepting bull......t

Anonymous said...

Too much fanciful yarns before getting to the nitty gritty.

QUEENTY said...

True buh way too Long!

Adekunle Kazeem said...

It's worth reading, very interesting. Women like this should continue to stood their ground against any form of harassment like this to encourage others.

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Anonymous said...

It's so true. In a particular telecommunication company in nigeria. The head of the legal department is a woman. She doesn't take any woman due for promotion into her department on grds that she can't bear any woman there as she can't tolerate any excuses ESP the fact that she may want to get married and start her own family. I just wonder y a fellow woman wld do such a tin. Also in that same company some deparments won't take u if u r not married.
I just wonder what kind of wickedness surpass this.

ifeanyi clement nwabor said...

Great writing skill! Igbos do have good writer. you're blessed'o please make good use of this skill

jeffchika said...

Ahhh...long post,women matters...abeg make una stop to dey intimidate women..

Anonymous said...

Exactly my experience... too bad.

Anonymous said...

It happened to me too.
Just lost my job beceause I said no to one of the dirctors.
Happy I said no but sad that I lost my job.

adiza osilama said...

As a woman who has taken up corporate jobs before venturing into private practice, I can easily associate with and appreciate the beef of this writer. It is a reality and even more so in Africa. Women are still viewed and treated as sexual objects in the corporate world. Many men are intimidated by hardworking women and would rather pull them down where they find too principled to manipulate. The fight is not over, aluta must continua until men see women as partners in progress.... By the way, a little digression here... It is true Africans don't read. That is at the root of our underdevelopment. Some people are complaining that this interesting piece is "too long." Hmm! 'Aprikans!'

Anonymous said...

Only porous minds will quit reading halfway or not making till the end. These issues are very important and affect us all. Ur mum, sister, daughter, niece, cousin or friend and believe me even guys experience it too.

Anonymous said...

i just hope dis did not happen at saharatv

Anonymous said...

I think she's just seeking attention!!!I feel that she's nt being truthful at all....I am a lady too and from the way she sounds,she sounds really overbearing!! She also strikes me as an oversabi!!!

Anonymous said...

@ bina &simple MR- both of u lack reading culture.smh...
I can totaly relate to this post.I didn't wait to be fired, I resigned. No woman deserves to be treated like trash.in d work place or @ home.imagine d statement that fool made " womens rights r not humans right" smh! GOd will surely judge these men!

Anonymous said...

Awan olodo. I don't blame you. I blame our decrepit educational system. Read, for a change!

ANTI-MUMU BINTINLAYE said...

with some mumu comments above by some mumu people i can bet with my life that MUMUNISM has gone deep into our system. only REVOLUTION can flush it out. you reading this, dont be afraid. pesin wey no go die no go die, we can do it. This SHIP called Nigeria is heading for destruction.

McQ said...

Is it just me or did someone else notice that this lady is beautiful? As for sexual harassment, we shud learn to control our libido.

Martin Miller said...

this happens even to average nigerian,woman livin abroad...hmm mm

Anonymous said...

I suppose its true then, that this microwave generation can't read anything beyond a few lines. Its becoming really annoying with all these comments about a piece being too long, boring, etc. If you don't want to read it, all you have to do is click to the next blog and stop complaining. If you want to remain ignorant that is your problem. There is a difference between a blog and a tweet. Stop the whining already!

curvy ZO said...

Save urself d stress n bang him or quit.

Tell ur or hubby to mak u self employed.

U choice.

Anonymous said...

Hmmmm, just too long for me to continue. Anyways, thank God you were strong and you survived. May God give us all the strength.

Anonymous said...

Msheeeewww! And i have to read this endless essay because??? Sorry but i didn't have the time to...This aint even news,it happens everyday everywhere#NEXT pls

PRETTY GIRL

nzube izuu said...

'So long a letter'!Pretty woman without makeup. Looks just like me!

Anonymous said...

Whew!!!

Lil miss sunshyn said...

Sowi i guess....mehn the story die.... I no fit evn finish d first paragraph

mayday said...

Boring

Anonymous said...

Tooo lon jo! I cld even start :(

Mich said...

If you've lived in NY for up to 10years or even less and have no idea what media outfit she's referring to then you're probably one of those dolphins that never come out at Sea world.
Sad tale..good thing she's sharing this,hopefully its gonna help other women who have had such experiences
speak up too.
Meanwhile,did she mention Pillsbury buscuits in the first paragraph?hehe!
Pretty Woman she is.

Anonymous said...

Dat u don't knw how to read doesn't mean most pple can't so talk for yourself and stfu. Dullard

Bola Olagunju said...

This was a really touching and truthful article....and all of you illiterates that can't read are the ones destroying this country

Anonymous said...

i decided to go for self employment bcos of sextual harasment i got when i wnt for student IT.thats about .l3yrs ago.is rampat in nijai.can any thing be done legally abt such isues?..

Anonymous said...

this is Omoleye Sowore Of Saharah Reporters, Leg don finally come out, breeze don blow fowl nyansh don open there fore hand must fall. Wow I am hugely dissapointed

Anonymous said...

oh dear, how sad....very eye opening. Lady is well spoken too!

Anonymous said...

Hmmmm...women! We face a lot! Men should rily learn 2 respect women more often.

Anonymous said...


I didn't get this part quite well

"My female colleagues usually fulfilled the boss’s wishes without much objection..."

Did her boss fuck all her female colleagues ?

And which Nigerian-American media house is that ?

Anonymous said...

Don't mind them auntie Lin I like your lengthy posts life is not jus gossip gossip whose bought a new car, who's sleeping with who n all the other stuff that adds no value to our lives whatsoever. At least with these posts you provoke a conversation make people ask question or just improve some people's grammar and vocabulary (they clearly need it) :-)

Anonymous said...

I think is a question of shifting cultures. More women need to know their rights while more men need to understand that things have changed.i also know of a female secretary who sexually harrassed the day lights out of her hansome and perfect gentleman boss for a long time. The poor man sufferred for a long time without a wimper simply because he was afraid of how the story would play out if he were to sack or redeploy her, both of which were in his powers to do.

My point is that both sexes should make more effort towards making the work place a decent place for every one.

Anonymous said...

Its quiet interesting,and dynamic, reading it would not result to anaemia, dear

Anita I said...

Abg abg...I thot she jus wntd to tell us how she was sexually harassed which one she com dey write novel put for person here!

Mzz Wright said...

Women! God help us.

ebi said...

2 long plsss can u summarize it cos mi nor gt d gist ooo.

Anonymous said...

MEN! Fight for your daughter's future! If we don't speak out now, it would be your daughter's next! What goes around comes around.

Dee said...

I believe that each sexual harassment case should be viewed on his own merits. And I can't imagine how disappointing it would be to be harassed by men who you expect to be "just any other colleague" or worse still, a boss.

That said, one aspect I want women with conscience to seriously think about is your mode of dressing at the workplace. Women dress too PROVOCATIVELY at the office. Sometimes one wonders if you're on the way to a nightclub. To you, it's "just a way of expressing yourselves," (and a host of other lazy excuses) but remember men get turned on by what they see. And the moment you see that ass in that super tight-fitting pants, it's hard to get it out of your mind. Worse still is the super-short dress leaving nothing to the imagination. And NO, men aren't being monsters, this is just obeying the law of nature. Trust me. If women keep dressing like this, expecting work harassment to disappear is just a joke. If you keep dressing like bitches, you keep giving men excuses.

Anonymous said...

Who is harrsassing who, Nigerian man in USA , the activist, fela or the oyibo she worked with at oxfam? This woman is angry with northern america, loves southern america, is bitter with everybody. Now she is in Nigeria who is next?

alluring belle said...

Too long. Feel sorry for women.

Anonymous said...

Loooooooong story..haba

Anonymous said...

Speech!

Anonymous said...

Great read! I am thankful for the brave women out there who dare to share their stories with us about what really goes on behind the scenes for women in some work places. This is very common in Nigeria. The work of women's rights activists is still raw in Nigeria. I pray for more brave women who are able to stand up to the tide. You are an inspiration Chika!

Anonymous said...

Ur response is quite sad, if this were an article abt wizkid or tonto dike's sexcapades, or some celebrity love triangle, it wouldn't be too long! It's so sad the kind of kids we're breeding in this country. They can't read, have no sense of respect and decorum and a lot can't even string 2 sentences together without committing blunders. I do pray for our youths, you are our tomorrow! Read! Please!!!

Regards,
Ponle

Anonymous said...

So jobless....

Chinonye Nwakwoke said...

I so enjoyed this. I love the writer's voice.

frayoo reaper said...

Very bad indeed

Anonymous said...

Only God can help us in d hands of so call popular men

Anonymous said...

Too long!!!! kilode ......

Anonymous said...

Quite disappointed she didn't reveal names & identities. That's how to fight back & expose these fake activists

Anonymous said...

Chika Oduah is confused. Dnt understand wat she is writing at all.Is she praising herself or wat? pls smbody help.

»kruiza« said...

Am I mad to start reading all dis?????

Anonymous said...

Attention seeker

Anonymous said...

Very true, I really feel for women who don't ve the courage to get by, some women succumb to d harrassment just to get to d peak of deir career. Its a very painful feeling.

pealie said...

Don't mind her as if she's a virgin. Look at stress she went thru just becos of her stupid ego...

Anonymous said...

@Bina
Hello Dear sister, so because the article is too long it is meaningless or what? This is really a big problem for us Africans, we do not like reading and that is one of the main reasons why we are still behind. Wisdom or better said knowledge is power. Have a nice day!
@SimpleMr
Hello Dear Brother, your comment was unpleasant, you are a man so i am not that surprised, you are not affected in any ways by such things, you are not wearing the shoes. My friend let me tell you that this woman is neither a mumu nor a masquerade. She is a human being just like you and has the right to share her experience. When you do not have something relevant to say just keep quiet, it would be better than exposing your bad attitudes. Have a nice day also!

Anonymous said...

@Bina it shows you are not intelligent, if this write-up is too long for you to read then I wonder what you use your brain for, knowledge is power and you lack either. And if you are a female then am so disappointed because this story is about women
Linda this is most interesting and the most intelligent writing I have read on your blog in weeks, I am a feminist too and I feel for the lady and any other woman that has suffered at the hands of arrogant ego complusive men. In some countries just like ours women rights are not respected and it hurts me to see that its even in the western countries too, nigerian men leave the country and carry their nigerian beliefs and mentality to the western countries and oppress women there, I can only pray God will interviene and every gender will have equal rights and be considered as equal

Anonymous said...

Well, I can sorta relate to this.

Anonymous said...

It is well with us *women*

Anonymous said...

why do I think that the boss in question is the owner of Sahara reporters Omoyele Sowore?

Anonymous said...

Too boring and long. I couldn't go beyond the third paragraph.

belinda said...

Its not lengthy once you get into it, its a must read. These are some of the issues African's need to sort out; the relegation of women and girls to the background. We are not good enough, we don't ve voice enough. I get a good job and pay out of hard work and pure determination but the society says her cunt gave it to her or she is too proud. Personally I think the African man has the highest rate of low complex issues,and any successful accomplishment by the opposite sex is an affront to their pea-sized ego. When every Obi, Ada, Musa, Amina, Abiola, Tosin work together bringing their level of expertise without limitations or restrictions, we would indeed have a Nigeria to be proud. Never underrate a woman!

Anonymous said...

This girl should go and sit down jo. Attention seeker oshi. She is feeling like she knows how to write. It happened in America, why didn't she report him to HR or some employment regulatory body. Coming here to form story. KMT

Anonymous said...

Women are the main problem of this world, remove women the world will kno ever lasting peace. The world became peaceless the day Eve was created. All actions and reactions of men in all ramification is either directly or indirectly motivated by a woman. What's all this noise abt sexual harassment and ilk, most of the sexual absurdity women commit they don't talk abt it. Enough of this blab bitches coz it is a natural law that u get only that which u deserve. Zion.

Micheal Gabriel said...

Sexual Harrassment is in all sectors,only that some fearful people don't admit to it,Visit Inspiration Blog Angel Maryjane David Blog

Anonymous said...

bina i'm sorry to say this but this is the root cause of our problems as Nigerian youths ppl like you who are too lazy to take 5 minutes to read something that might possibly be beneficial to you,but back too the story women need to stand up and back each other up because no one else will do it for us

Anonymous said...

Great write up. Women need to speak out more about sexual harrassment in the work place, rather than keep quite for fear of losing their job. Its better to lose your job and keep your pride and self respect, in doing that greater opportunities will come your way.

Anonymous said...

Old African men with their distorted ego, who is surprised? he probably is racist against his own people too

Tonia said...

Nawaooooo,its too lenghty,next time Chika pls heat the nail on the head and spare us all dis long comprehension passage.got many things to read!!!!

Anonymous said...

Cant comprehend how we dont want to read lenght articles yet drop comments saying its too long. Intetesting read. Even as a man with 12 years work experience i have seen this happen a lot to female colleagues. Rather sad the calibre of men we have raised and are raising. On the flip side though. I was once harrased by a female boss and it was an experience to forget.

anita said...

Shut up pleaase. Thank U̶̲̥̅̊.

Anonymous said...

Long write up, yes, but disturbingly true.

anita said...

Pealie dear, just because you don't work for your money does not mean others shouldn't. So keep dropping your pants pealie, it hardly works.

Anonymous said...

Her message is powerful: Cut the umbillical cord on culturally ingrained sexism. It destroyed her career in New York. She hears it in conversations with male friends and in the music of popular artists. Sexism has serious consequences. Chika knows because she lost a job to it.

Anonymous said...

Long write up, yes, but disturbingly true.

Anonymous said...

I remember Chika. She is the one that all of you were prasing when she interviewd D'Banj and asked if he recieved money from the governmnet and why was he keeping quiet about the Oil Subsidy. Omoleye Sowore shame on you. He is the guy that is always exposing governmnent officals for the bad ways and look at him. He is also a bad guy. Shame Shame Shame him

Lepa shandy said...

Na today? if them harass u,biko harass them back

Leema said...

I figure it's because of the harrassment she decided no more make up for me ever? Please just ditch the self righteous all natural look.
I think you are not to be blamed but you were careless, how could you have lost your employment letter? Knowing what is going on and eventually what is going to happen. .

Ngozi said...

The level of stupidity and ignorance in your comment is beyond words. You my dear, are a misogynist. Perhaps if (and I don't wish this on any female unfortunate to be related to you or know you) a friend of yours, or sister, or wife or daughter is to be sexually harassed or raped, you're eyes will be opened up to make you see and realise how STUPID your comment is! If you ever read this just know that you are one of the problems in this world and it is you who the world needs rid of because your comment demonstrates a high level of ignorance, hate and just plain stupidity.

Anonymous said...

Too long Jo and the grammar plenty

ruth said...

Too long though,,,but we should stop this arrassment,it's not a good thing to do

Ngozi said...

Misogyny has never been something to be proud of and you my dear, are a misogynist. While I don't wish any female in this world the tragedy of being related to you or knowing you, I suppose if you were ever unfortunate enough to witness your friend, wife, daughter or sister raped, perhaps you will realise how stupid, ignorant and misogynistic your comment is. But hey, there's hope, just as you suggested, the world needs to be cleansed of people causing adverse reactions amongst others. Youll be doing the ENTIRE world a favour if you started with quietly removing yourself from the universe you misinformed ignorant Buffon!

Anonymous said...

Ode oshi...so u don't understand the message that this lady was trying to pass Across... I'm disappointed. Smh for Your Destiny

Ogobor Joseph said...

#SaharaReportersNY#. Coded discription bt skillful write-up. not all activists are saints lol take heart Chika

R.M. said...

Yeah we should remove all women including your mum, sisters, female cousins, aunts, grandmother, great-grandmother and all the women in your family line. Eve only suggested that Adam eat the apple, she never forced him, he could have said no. Its senseless people like you that need to be removed from society. So in short you are saying that anything a man does is directly of indirectly because of a woman? So you wait for a woman before you can move onward with your life? You're pathetic, get a life.

nnamdi louis said...

Everywoman cums out 2 say shit abt sexual harrassment.wat abt men I hav bin harassed several times by 2 of my female bosses buh whom do I tell my story? If ask me na who I go tell #omowunmisvoice# abeg mak she park well jooor

Ngozi said...

I really sympathise with the author!

That being said, daily on this blog one person or the other complains about the state of affairs in nigeria. However, reading some of the comments on this post makes me realise that Nigerians are the problem with Nigeria! How can someone in their right senses even try to justify sexual harassment! Unfortunately, I doubt any of the pigs will read this and have a little rethink about their comments and what the author possibly went through or felt. Men go around topless and I am yet to hear of a case where a topless man is raped by bunch of women overcome with desire! There will never be a justification for sexual harassment towards a woman or man!!

Please people, change your way of thinking! Misogyny and Buffoness has never been anything to be proud of! Liberate yourselves, start thinking!!!

Anonymous said...

Dear Tonia,its 'hit' the nail not 'heat'.u need to read more often,u know

Anonymous said...

Too long abeg....

Beevan Ma'goney said...

Nice write up, plenty grammar, snitches and more so, she's a feminist so I don't take such shit serious... Nobody created u to be a woman, if u've got issues with not being a man, blame something else. Women are the cause of their woes so shattappp.. I hate bitches!

Anonymous said...

Ego? Seriously? I pray it happens to ur Sis or ur wife or beer still ur daughter!

Anonymous said...

When they harrasass ur wife or daughter pls dnt forget today! Give them d same reply!

Anonymous said...

Ego? Seriously? I pray it happens to ur Sis or ur wife or beer still ur daughter!

Anonymous said...

To long. For a gossip blog site. This is a gossip blog , people visit here for gossip not education . There are accredited sites for education please redirect your ignorance there.

Anonymous said...

Go to hell idiot

Anonymous said...

Shameless Nigerians! Bury your heads in shame. Too long too long too long.. Our poor reading culture puts us in needless troubles. We don't know our rights, we don't read the constitution. We fail because we don't read. We can't read to understand the point in a write up. We want it all handed to us. Students get answers dictated to them in exam halls...yet still asking for spelling. Parents buying expo for their wards..,all nonsense! There are treasures in books that ll never be discovered by Nigerians who lack the reading culture. All u who wrote .. Too long...shame on you. Olodos!

Anonymous said...

You see why we cannot go anywhere in this country? Someone has written a post about a serious social issue and people are saying it's too long to read. If it was a post with 300 pictures now you would take your time to look and comment. Tufiakwa

Phoenix said...

Sexual harrasment is a way of life in Nigeria o.....I hv bn denied promotion twice in my ofc(media haus )cs I refuse to dance to my boss' tune...thinkin of startin a small business instead of bn stagnant.God help us all...

Anonymous said...

TOo long, couldn't continue...sorry dou!!Nigeria is worse....

hhb said...

Such shallow mentality! Every woman! Please get your facts rights and stop generalizing. Kmt

hhb said...

You should have ignored the post then rather than write this...haba, too many lazy people!

Anonymous said...

like a white man once said "if you want to hide something from an african, put it in a book" ... you morons have once again justified that assertion ... dunces

Anonymous said...

You are a colossal idiot.

Anonymous said...

Your mother!

Anonymous said...

Because when I wear mini skirt, it's for you. I want you to reach out and spank that bum in your line of sight at work. Ode oshi

Anonymous said...

Pretty nitwit

Anonymous said...

Olu, if you are really in Atlanta, you will know that it is common for people to "hang out" with their boss. It's part of the work culture in the western world. It is all very innocent and most times builds better teams.

Anonymous said...

Are u okay? Or is it that u just like looking for attention the wrong way?

Anonymous said...

SimpleMr is a super dullard and and sawdust brain. Certainly a minus to Nigeria

Anonymous said...

She worked with saharareporters. The guerilla online news. The description of her attacker fits omoyele sowore the publisher. I knew sowore was just a sad angry, pussy thirsty guy.

truthurts said...

Dude just cos ur mom had to succumb to her boss's sexual advances which led to her getting pregnant and breeding a clueless cunt like you doesn't mean all women should or would. I'm sure ur totally convinced cos ur sisters followed suit and slept with their successful cobbler/barrow pushing bosses. Dumb punk

Anonymous said...

You come to a gossip blog for enlightenment . Really!!!!!

Anonymous said...

She used to work for Sahara reporters Help put an end to this moral pass to act with impunity abeg victims start naming and shaming and make these people take responsibility for their actions.

as for those blaming the author for earning her abuse you are part of the deeply rooted problems of this world.

Adedayo said...

Thank you bro. You couldn't have said it any better. I laugh when i hear hear all these modern-day feminists. Women dress like bitches at the workplace and then turn around to complain of harassment. Tight clothes, exposed breasts, thighs, seductive catwalks in the office and you turn around that men harass you. If you ask them why they dress like that, especially the married ones, they tell you they just want to look good for themselves. By exposing half of your breasts right? Siddon there o. The harassment has not even started. If you don't want your boss to hold your waist, why follow him to a pub after work? A pub where the man would definitely have some alcohol. They don't even know that men struggle a lot to keep themselves in check. Rubbish!

Anonymous said...

Well done.You don talk am.They are the architect of their own p

Angela Judith said...

Not far from d truth, it has bcome a norm in some work place. I ve experienced it twice on 2 diff jobs. Women shud always voice their emotion not withstanding d consequence.

Anonymous said...

Omoyele you dirty scoundrel...!!God is watching you.Your sense of divine rightness is beginning to irk some of us .I do not speak for the ruling Cankerworms devouring our country.We were S.U activists at the same time and we do not believe you are a true Vanguard for youth or the change our country needs if you persist in taking the same liberties our oppressors indulge in.Your flirtation with those cult boys back then was not a secret.Popular though you might be now, you are not a hero of democracy. Time will soon tell your true measure
You refused to apologise publicly to MFM Ministries and you remain brash and arrogant. Your uncouthness manner only needs a scratch to reveal. YOU ARE NOT THE CONSCIENCE OF OUR NATION OR GENERATION.Each one plays his role, no one is indispensible to the struggle for a better Nigeria. You cannot advocate one thing and live by a different code in private.
Chika was an asset,many of us were wondering why she left, no wonder!!
To CHIKA- Do not be deterred,be yourself and drive towards your goal. Appreciation and just reward will come inevitably.
Activism is still alive regardless..Victoria ascerta!!

3faya said...

@Olu,you made a great point in noticing how ladies dress to work but what happened to self control?...she might be dressing like dat cos she is comfortable in what she is wearing not because she wants one dude or even her boss to notice her.something about ladies you men fail to realise is '70% of Us dress to impress our fellow ladies and not men'...#justknow

Yemmie Oscar said...

It happens everywhere!

Btw, as we celebrate eid-il-fitr dis day, may all d blessings dat comes wit dis day abide nd be wit us 4eva nd may our sawm n prayers b aceptd as an act of IBADAH! EID MUBARAK!

Anonymous said...

It is guys with inferiority complex n small dicks dat av ideas such as ds.Ds comment is jus long,xtremely stupid n senseless!!so women cannot dress d way they lyk jus cause u can't control ur pervasive mind?gosh!!its soo amazing dat idiots lyk u still exist?if u don't want 2 c exposed cleavage n all den go join d monastery n bcum a monk or drop fucking dead!d world could do beta witout a retard lyk u n dat moron adedayo and any other person dat supports ur stupid ideology.women cannot fraternize with colleagues at work without being hit on?it is morons lyk dat would b saying'she's arrogant'she's forming'yet d 1 dat takes tym to be friendly is a slut or leading u on!dat retarded adedayo is sayin 'men struggle to keep themselves in check'I'm sure it is weere's lyk u dat be gettin a hard-on evrytym u c cleavage,u beta go 4 deliverance cus if u av 2 struggle anytym u c a lady's cleavage den all ur faculties aint complete.any sensible man shld be able to ascertain first if a lady is into him b4 puttin d moves on her and if u do and she refuses,u shld be sensible enuf 2 back d fuck off n act civil from then on instead carryin d myopic n senseless idea dat she's dressed in short skirts jus to entice u.blehhh

Anonymous said...

Anonymous 11:17AM and 3faya (12:29PM)

I wish you could be guys for a week and understand how it works. Self control where a woman is dressed provocatively and practically throwing it at your face? You guys are naive and are just spewing the feminist trash you're fed daily by the Western media.

Anonymous said...

Sad but true....

Anonymous said...

Make dat pretty dumb girl cus if u can't read ordinary ds small essay den u are plain dumb!plus I'm sure u as ugly as shit!!

Anonymous said...

It is guys with inferiority complex n small dicks dat av ideas such as ds.Ds comment is jus long,xtremely stupid n senseless!!so women cannot dress d way they lyk jus cause u can't control ur pervasive mind?gosh!!its soo amazing dat idiots lyk u still exist?if u don't want 2 c exposed cleavage n all den go join d monastery n bcum a monk or drop fucking dead!d world could do beta witout a retard lyk u n dat moron adedayo and any other person dat supports ur stupid ideology.women cannot fraternize with colleagues at work without being hit on?it is morons lyk dat would b saying'she's arrogant'she's forming'yet d 1 dat takes tym to be friendly is a slut or leading u on!dat retarded adedayo is sayin 'men struggle to keep themselves in check'I'm sure it is weere's lyk u dat be gettin a hard-on evrytym u c cleavage,u beta go 4 deliverance cus if u av 2 struggle anytym u c a lady's cleavage den all ur faculties aint complete.any sensible man shld be able to ascertain first if a lady is into him b4 puttin d moves on her and if u do and she refuses,u shld be sensible enuf 2 back d fuck off n act civil from then on instead carryin d myopic n senseless idea dat she's dressed in short skirts jus to entice u.blehhh

Anonymous said...

People lose it when they begin to believe their own hype.

staff said...

@Adedayo you can't be anymore stupid . So because she "does a sexy catwalk" she is 'ASKING" to be harassed, raped and molested?

Don't you see how twisted your thinking is, it's like the Nigerian Senators saying that young girls look so fresh and young so it is their fault men want to marry them at a young age.

Can't they want to feel sexy WITH THEMSELVES?

Anonymous said...

To 3faya from olu@atlanta

Self control?
Who do you think should exercise self control; women dressing like hoes and bitches to chuches and workplaces or men who are at churches to pray and offices to work for their daily bread?
Who?
Only God knows how many times i have been sexually aroused/harassed by these women inside the church and at work. Honestly, sooner or later i will have to resign or lodge complaints against these women at work as i dont intend starting affairs with married women nor am i ready to be gifted with HIV. I cant stand it any more. Imagine you arriving for work early in the morning and the first thing you see is a woman intentionally rolling her 'yanch' in front of you or poking her cleavages at you. This is just too much for some of us men. We dont have any control over the effect of androgens on us. Once testosterone effects kicks in as a result of what men sees, erection kicks in. And once erection kicks in, you are done as a man. Some women knows these facts and they used them to teir advantages. Imagine you having unintended erections or sexual thoughts everyday as a result of something you cant control. How do you feel?
Anytime i come across them now, i have learned to start thinkng of some of my problems.
Women need to learn how to dress and act properly especially when they are working closely with their opposite sex. if they dont, they are are going to be used and tossed/dumped by men of easy virtuous.
Some women even hangs out with some of their co-workers in clubs, hotels and dinners after work and later to turn around and start complining of sexual harassment after being used and dunmped like the complainant here. These are the points.
olu@atlanta.

staff said...

olu@atlanta. you are the very reason I don't like hanging out with nigerian men, you guys reason like 2nd tier animals - and I am a guy too.

Women of these days tire me I beg.
If you are not really interested in your boss, what did you decided to hang out with him for?

Are you stupid? Do you not (well scratch that since it sounds like you are the type that thinks any girl that says hi at you wants to sleep with you)

PEOPLE (Sensible ones) go on dates, have lunch with their boss etc THAT DOES NOT MEAN I WANT TO F8CK YOU

What kind of messages or vibes do you think you were passing on to this your 'boss'?

Why is she RESPONSIBLE for what her stupid boss thinks? If I hang out with the woman who helps me do my homework - what is my concern if she WANTS TO bELIEVE I like her

What kind of women hangs out with their bosses after work?
Do men hang out with their bosses after work? Yes? It is PART OF THE CORPORATE STRUCTURE DUMMY
If you live in Atlanta (and are not a bus driver, cook, cleaner, or gateman) you SHOULD KNOW THIS.

I bet you knew that man was happily married and u still decided to go to a club or bar with him and now you are claiming ignorance and innocence

She went to a bar, a lounge, people go there to eat, she did not go to the man's house.

If you have a boyfriend at that time, dont u think your boyfriend would have felt offended by u hanging out with men after work?

No, only insecure men like you would be concerned over trifling issues like that. Nigerian men are so stupid.

They lured a man on and once the man makes his move, they now start claiming sexual molestation.

THEY, lured a man? CONTROL yourself fool.


Meanwhile all the women at my work-place, both married and unmarried keeps on wearing tight pants, showing off their booties' in front of me all the time.

SO YOU CAN'T CONTROL YOURSELF?


One can't even concentrate at work with all these Bs and Hs all over with their cleavages poking at you.

WHOSE FAULT IS THAT?

Why do women acts like this? If you don't like a guy, don't entertain him, period. Don't give him audience. Let him realize that you are unavailable upfront. Don't start wearing miniskirts and very tight pants in front of him, shaking your Yansh front left to back right, only for you to start feeling cheap and offended when the man respond by making moves on you.

You better beg for forgiveness from God and repent so that you can get a real man who will wife u up after all your escapades with men both married and unmarried all over the places you have worked.

YOU BETTER BEG FOR FORGIVENESS FROM GOD FOR BEING SO SHALLOW AND UNBELIEVABLY STUPID

GinaBlack said...

I just need to say:

She's so naturally beautiful...no jewelry, little makeup, clear skin...

Anonymous said...

Men pls note....women dress for themselves,we enjoy comments frm our female folks and our partners in our relationshipsssss!its jst an excuse for u guys 2 say females dress provocatively bla bla bleh....comot eye,face ur computer biko....

Anonymous said...

Lol to the people seriously arguing that dressing dictates the amount of sexual attention asked for. Are you saying the beach is a giant rape factory? abeg until you start teaching your sons about respect & respecting another fellow human being's personal space rather than giving them free pass in doing anything to a person without their consent and then blaming said person because your sons are somehow animals that are incapable of exercising self control in front of a displayed ankle,you are not allowed to take part in this adult conversation. "Why did she follow a male to the pub" why do women show cleavage at work"why this why that whine whine whine" are you fucking kidding lmao smh God help us all.

Anonymous said...

ps: and this is not to say that men and women shouldn't pay attention and wear appropriate clothes according to the situation that I absolutely agree with. It's the "she came to work with her buttons opened clearly I should give her the D tonight" that I cn't begin to comprehend

Anonymous said...

Dear Chika, keep it up.You will make a good wife.Every man likes to marry a woman who doesn't tolerate sexual intimidation even those men are involved in such stupid act.Your conscience is alive.I guess you are a born again christian.Jesus loves you._08030589158.

Anonymous said...

Whether it is sexual harassment or mental harassment, women almost always face these issues.
I am a female field engineer, actually, the 1st female field engr in my dept, and I was told on a job and I quote "Do you think this company hired you for your intelligence or Strength? You were hired for PR" and this was just so I could go and pacify the client with my *feminine touch*.
God help us

Anonymous said...

@Pealie, I guess from ur comment she shld go on satisfying every idiot that comes her way cos she's no longer a virgin for the sake of work.If u don't have a better thing to say u rest ur mind.

Anonymous said...

@anon 4.30..This is most ignorant reply I've read in a long time. Its sad there are people supporting ur response. We need to be moving forward as Nigerians not backward. In the US, Networking is common among your colleagues, coworkers, bosses and clients after work. That doesn't mean it shld lead to sexual harassment. I can count how many business deals or bar meetings i had to go to which were all innocent. It builds better working relationships. This is common if you work for a good company in western world. Maybe in Nigeria its a different story. Please don't attack the authors personality. This situation happened in NY

Anonymous said...

olu@ atlanta you are just a bloody idiot......if you truly live abroad you will know it is not unusual for colleagues to hang out after work.....no man has any excuse to sexually harrass a woman.....am not even suprised the idiot is even a nigerian, there own doggy ways are world guiness record material....bloody dogs

elusive kate said...

Where do I start? Sunday Otuns, Olu@ Alanta, Anonymous 6.22am, Dee, Adedayo, ur comments all stink! By supporting sexual harrassment of women, u ve all just confessed that ur wives and femal relatives, all dress like whores to work! If not, y would u say women dress like bitches to work? Ur female relatives must have given u ample examples! As for Dee, ur comment tells me that u are one of those women who sells her dignity for a promotion! The writer has been hurt and all u can do is throw abuses! Who doesnt know that sexual harrassment is the order of the day in Nigerian owned media houses? Female journalists are suffering in silence becoz our men have turned themselves to dogs! and there is no one to plead our cause! As for the writer, I know how u feel. I face the same thing everyday. It is humiliating! If only all these wretched men can die and move to hell where they belong! As for Sowore, go hug a transformer! Amen! Linda post my comment o!

Chicadimples said...

Thanks for sharing linda!
Chika(moi namesake), u are beautiful! U will be amazed at frequently stuff like this happen, and babes its everywhere.
Tanks for speaking out, u are truly an inspiration!

Anonymous said...

Too long to read but concur to her message. She is very beautiful though.

Anonymous said...

Anon@1110 a BOOK not a girly gossip wink wink blog. Olodo. Wannabe prof of Notting

Naijarian said...

Sorry dear, the world is not a fair place. You just have to strive and find a path that is not riddled with nonsense..

Having said this, not that it should be an excuse o but in the first pic, that blouse you're wearing is cut way too low. I can imagine any man looking at that everyday to get tempted and want to have a bite and some men lack self control. Most men will look o and if you are willing will bite but if you are not, life goes on. Whether or whethern't you give in, should be no excuse for being treated the way you were... I no blame you say you no gree o, if na the show guy wey you describe, im wowo die no be small..

Anonymous said...

You guys are so unreal! So if a woman dresses in a way you think is not right then she is asking for it. Stop the misogyny guys!

Anonymous said...

Apologies everyone for the typo at 12:26, should have read "your uncouth manner".

Anonymous said...

Y do people think everything pple do is abt attention seeking, not everyone u see doing stuff is seeking attention! Jeez I don't get it all, d earlier we change d way we think d better for nigeria!God bless us all,and let's all fight against harassment of any kind. linda post dis

Anonymous said...

Y do people think everything pple do is abt attention seeking, not everyone u see doing stuff is seeking attention! Jeez I don't get it all, d earlier we change d way we think d better for nigeria!God bless us all,and let's all fight against harassment of any kind. linda post dis

MizAnonymous said...

While I sympatize with you I have a few things to say:
1. Your story is too long and you digressed and startd sounding feminist at a point
2. You wrote you and your boss 'went out' meaning you lead him on. If you didn't want anything to do with your boss why did you agree to go on a date cuz thts what tht outing seemed to me when I read it

I work in a company where most of the men are womanizers(and its everywhere my dear) and I know how to put them in place without being rude and in almst 2yrs I've been there I've never ever seen anyone of them outside the office before despite the fact tht they ask almst everyday for a date. Now if your boss had done tht to you within the office premises I would have said thts harrasment bt you went with him on a 'date' so my dear your sexual harrasment story kinda doesn't hold water to me

Iyke Obianeli said...

Not until I hear from the other sides.....until then NO COMMENT yet!!!

Sunday Otuns said...

Truth.

Anonymous said...

thank you Anon. August 8, 2013 at 6:22 AM

Anonymous said...

A well written text, but that's as it goes. My worry about this writer is why she left US all the way to come and publish this for Nigerian readers, hoping to draw sympathy or what? I do know that the justice system in America is more active and extensive and can effectively handle matters like this. So if the writer as intelligent and objective as the story portrays, could not sue the offender in US, why come to bother us here in this rural country with numerous serious life threatening issues begging for attention?

Dende said...

@olu-atlanta,i'm a man and u my friend're a classic dingbat.Why do i think u're the one she wrote about?

Anonymous said...

Anonymous 2:02 PM you're so dumb for the trash you wrote up there and insulting other people for expressing their opinions. It's assholes like you, the so-called modernized folks who pretend that all is well in the open but then crawl through the back to do worse things. There's difference between being friendly with your colleagues in a normal work environment, and dressing like a harlot at the workplace. What do i do in the case of a female (who i'm not even interested in, as i have a wife whom i love) who comes to hug me every morning, rubbing her boobs all over me? I guess the women can never be wrong, right? The blame always goes to the man. You spend more time with the opposite sex at your workplace than you do with your spouse at home. So both sides have to do their part in order not to allow funny ideas get into anyone's head. That sounds more realistic than all these rubbish knee-jerk reactions by you so-called "modernized" pretenders.

Dende said...

@adekunle kazeem,'stood ke'?Why do i think you're a boko haram bomber?

Dende said...

@anon6:22am,why do i think u're not a lady at all but the 'gentle'man in question?I used the term gentleman loosely.

Dende said...

Why do i think u're a grade A bitch?

Dende said...

@Zion,why do i think u're a flaming mardi gras homosexual?

Dende said...

Why do i think u're a cum-bucket slut?

Anonymous said...

Wait a minute people! Can we just make a complete sentence in this godamn country without slipping religion in the middle? Let's observe our religious affiliations with reverence and a sense of respect. Our attitude to religion is killing us and subtracting from the value that religous ingenuity is supposed to add to any society.

Anonymous said...

Should you guys wondering about who is Chika referring to, it is Omoyele Sowore of Sahara Reporters. I hope he has not sexually harassed my favorite female journalist that works with him Adeola Fayehun.

Anonymous said...

Does anyone really care who the bitch is referring to.
The bottom line is for ladies not to be going to hotel rooms, nite clubs, beer parlours, and diners, with married men under the pretext of networking.And if they do, they should not cry fowl when they are dumped after being used by these married men. A word is enough for the wise.
If you want to be networking with married men over bottles of beer and pepper/ogbono soup, please keep the end result of your networking to yourselves ladies.
Olu

Anonymous said...

God bless you! As far as i'm concerned, she doesn't have a case. The guy simply did not make the so-called advances to her at the workplace. Even if you're going to accuse someone of victimization, there has to be some kind of proof. However, this is not an excuse for any form of harassment.

I sincerely hope Chika does not have a vendetta against Sowore because she has given us enough clues to know whom she's talking about. The whistleblowing job the guy is doing is very sensitive and i hope she wasn't sent there to bait him.

JJ said...

@MizAnounimous, I take it you live and work in Nigeria. That is probably why you don't her predicament. In America, it is normal for your boss to ask you out to lunch without implying sex or anything of that sort. It is usually an opportunity to interact with your boss on a social level without the daily distraction of the workplace. You can talk about work issues that you don't get to do in the workplace. This social interactions do often affect your career advancement. Turning such opportunities down could actually harm your career. So, don't blame Chika. She didn't ask to be put in the situation she found her self.

JJ said...

The writer is probably seeing the same problems here here in Nigeria. This is a pervasive problem in Nigeria.

If you have ever being denied an opportunity because of your ethnic origin or relegated to the background with no opportunity for career advancemnt, maybe you will understand her dilenma.

JJ said...

I'm curious to know where you experienced this? Was this in Nigeria or overseas?

Anonymous said...

Coming from α journalist, this write up is horrible.. Just to voluminous for my readership; what happened to efficiency? At some point, seems like she was writing α poem. That's by the way.. If he sexually assaulted u, report to the authorities. Though you shouldn't just hang out with ur boss.. The story doesn't always come out fine.. Especially if u're of different genders.

Anonymous said...

Some of the comments left on here, were clearly left by retards. This scenario unfortunately happens more than we want to admit.

that girl said...

I love articles that provoke opinions of people cos then you get to really understand how different we all are. Thanks Linda, these are my fav type of posts. Now to the matter at hand. The lady came out to talk about how women are still treated in today's work place, and I don't blame guys or most guys for having the opinions they have, because the truth is ya'll in a million years would never understand the amount of shit!!! We have to put up with just because we (women) don't have a Dick. Buh when a fellow lady opens her mouth to say garbage, then it means u either a house wife( if you're married) or have been treated like trash all ur life so u tink its normal and ok for all women to be treated that way. I grew up with boys, I'm d only girl in my family, and I was brought up to be confident, independent and respectful to myself and others. I dress for myself, not my bf or family or whoever. If I wear a short dress, it doesn't give you the right to flirt, I worked hard for where I'm at, and for some old hag to expect me to be weak and voiceless bcos of my sex.....???? Guys u forget u have mothers, wives, sisters and even daughters... Please open your mind and eyes to the truth, there is no excuse for sexual harassment, the same way there is no excuse for rape. Some of u say its hard to control your selves wen a lady wears a Skippy outfit,( which I'm totally against in the work place) well then you need to get help from God cos then ur mind is messed up. Then wat of the ladies that dress decently buh still get harassed??? Everyone is entitled to their opinions, buh plz wat is wrong, is wrong. I have been asked for sexual favours in exchange for some official, and before the man even finished talking, I got up without saying a word and walked out. I do know how it feels to be undermined, but I will never sell myself short for anybody or thing.

that girl said...

Ps: all Ye higher authorities looking for who to sleep with, una go soon carry demon/winsh.....stupid men!!!

Anonymous said...

What do you do to her? Tell her to stop.

Lydia AB said...

Thanks for sharing your experience. You are not alone. It's a pity but your posting has brought out many interesting comments that indicates many have warped minds which need deliverance. That you go out with a colleague does not mean you want to share his bed. We need to treat each other with respect.

Anonymous said...

I'm amazed by some of the comments here. How can you say the story is too long, she is seeking attention, she be mumu etc. This stuff happens everywhere in the world. Some men do not want to see any woman on the top, they find it intimidating. I just did my final project in school on this topic. God bless the writer for sheeding light on it. For those saying it's wrong to hang out with your boss, that's bull. Ain't nothing wrong with hanging out with your boss if he or she has good intentions.

Anonymous said...

I think she should have been more examplary and discerning by pressing charges so as to send the right signals and encourage more the female gender to deal with similar injustices. Sowore is an impressive personality and has left a wonderful from the contributions he's making over the years. Irrespective of this story, it would be difficult to ridicle a man like that (as this writer is attempting) without some serious strategy like hitting the law court.

Anonymous said...

Too long hw many hours did it take you to put this down

chic said...

Ur just an idiot, bcos ur mother and sisters sleep with their bosses, doesn't mean all women should do d same... Ass wipe!

Anonymous said...

Now this is what I call an excellent essay. Wow when will I be able to write like this.

Xtian said...

Girl are you for real .What ! Are you like 13. Girl you never ever mix buisness with pleasure. Your mama no tell you. Sorry o!. With all your education you are very naive. Men by nature think with their dicks. You can't afford to lead them on. They are so very easily lead. Now lesson 101. Next time your boss invites you out say No I have to run home to take my HIV medication. You can thank me later.

Anonymous said...

This is a long ode by one woman whining about how unfair the world is to her sex. The first line of this unholy long gospel will tell you all you need to know. Useless trivia, boring what can one learn from this. absolutely notting. If I had the time to read this I would be half way through my grays anatomy by now. Please more entertaining trivia to cool the brain Joor.

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