Woman pens open letter to the woman dating her husband ..and it's epic! | Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog

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Sunday, 27 December 2015

Woman pens open letter to the woman dating her husband ..and it's epic!

A few weeks ago, a wife in Syracuse, New York, posted a "Letter to the Woman Dating my Husband" on Craigslist after she found out that her husband was having an affair while she was out of town. Read below..
"You probably don't even know that we're not separated, and up until I found his dating site profiles, and flew back to try and rescue my marriage, I did not know there was a problem...Be aware that everyday, he wrote me loving, wonderful messages, just as he was talking to you and wooing you.
As far as I knew, we were strong in our relationship. If he's been telling you something different, get my number from him, and let me show you the messages...

So the following may be you, or it may be "multiples" of you. I do not know how many of "you" there are. So read to the end. You'll figure out if it's the guy you're dating. Perhaps one of your friends will see this and figure it out for you..

You left your mascara in my husband's old vehicle (he bought a newer one in late September). It was a shimmery brown Covergirl.

I think you left some clothes here too. I threw them away. You also left a bra. You're size 36 B. I'm a 34C. The bra stank with BO. (Of course, it maybe that it belongs to someone else..... After all, his dating profiles --OurTime.com and Match.com--showed that he was horn-doggin' over a 120 mile radius... )

So he announced we're getting a divorce after I confronted him. He's playing "victim," and telling me it's a BIG misunderstanding, and that I'm being "controlling." I've pointed out that NO woman would agree my behavior is "controlling" after finding her husband's dating profiles which say he's "looking for marriage" to someone else. Unless your version of "controlling" includes an inability to understand I'm upset about the sub-text of "Why can't I go off and search for my next wife?" or "Why can't I just get laid behind your back?"

He claims he found that mascara (used Cover Girl--ick!-- I wear Lancome, which I replace every 6 months because of eye allergies) on the ground at work before I left to go take care of my sick mom in another state. (NO, I didn't just go off and leave him!) It's been in the truck ever since. So.....

The immaculate truck (I've NEVER seen him clean a vehicle in 15 years!) had the mascara in it for 8+ months? And somehow I'd want used mascara he found on the ground? And he saved it, even when cleaning up the truck?

I haven't even mentioned the bra to him. (What's the point?)

Your bag of clothes that you washed inside out: He tried to stop me from throwing some women's and children's clothes away that I found in a bag in the garage, claiming they belonged to our friend M's nephew... (there were some boys clothes, some small girl's clothing, and woman's... so I call BS on that! btw....Nice tastes in shirts. I like Ralph Lauren plaid, too, but you appear to be a bit bigger than me....) he glummly shut up when I cheerily reminded him that M's nephew has grown, so any of the clothes would be out grown.

Well, recently he's lost weight, quit drinking (that was 15 years of h*ll for me and the kids) bought himself a NEW truck (without consulting / asking me). But guess what? That nice house and property you saw, and new truck, and all his new tools? ***I OWN HALF OF ALL OF IT***.

So you won't be living in my nice house, we'll be selling it. And he may not have mentioned all my grad school debt... We'll be splitting that as well. So guess what you have???

You, my dear, are the proud new doormat for a middle-aged man who has been a contractor-type all his life. He's fairly smart though, but at 56 his body will not hold out much longer, and he's doesn't have a wide skill-set. He's somewhat heavy-set, pretty good looking, but he will not be wealthy after we split things (nor will I).

Congrats! He's quite the catch! (Well, it looks that way from the outset, now, before the divorce) My prediction though is that he'll have to move into a little apartment he can afford. (I don't think he thought all these consequences through. Somehow, in his mind, I'd just disappear and leave him with you, the house, the toys, and the assets?)

Oh, and you'll have my dogs, too. They were a present from me to us, and I trained them for a year... but since they're purebreds, guess what? THEY'RE PROPERTY WITH AN ATTACHED VALUE!!!! My guess on their value: They're worth about about $3K. ... Thank you very much!!!! I'll take something of equal value, like the TV, generator, fridge and some of those nifty new tools!

Now, you may have kids (since there were ice cream cones in my pantry and sugary cereal and milk left at the house--I've never seen him eat that crap, ever, in 15 years. btw. The milk went bad. I threw it out. You bought it at Tops in Cicero one evening in late August. I found the receipt. You bought all that weird crap in one evening, after the trip to Fun Junction and then the return to the house.) so, if you have kids, you should know that he has a tendency to over-buy stuff and send the family into debt. There were a few years (before I graduated from grad school) when I had to go to food banks to keep our kids fed. Good luck with that. I'm sure he's changed, although judging from new toys he's bought... maybe not so much.

My advice: Don't marry him. If you do, then HALF OF YOUR STUFF IS HIS! He'll use you up, he's a selfish lover, he's a spend-a-holic, and it's likely he'll revert to booze. His financial decisions will drive you into bankruptcy. (He's done it twice) His family will hate you (they're weird, you'll see), and he has a tendency to do incredibly stupid stuff. Like the type of stuff that will **get YOU in trouble** even though you have no control over his actions/behavior! he'll get mad because you "nag" and say stuff like "Don't drive to work drunk and get in a crash!" <--Yup that's an example of my nagging and controlling behavior...

Of course, since you've been boffing my husband, and you must know I am still in the picture (my stuff is ALL OVER THE HOUSE) ...OR... you may just be incredibly stupid...

Maybe you deserve him.

You and he ruined my life, stole the life I spent 15 years trying to build with him, destroyed my identity... I wish I could say I "wish you the best," but it's more like "I think you're about to get what you deserve."

FYI: He (we) own a new (used) white truck with nice warm leather seats, along with a few other vehicles (which he works on...btw. Some of those classic cars are MINE from before the marriage,) You may have been in his old truck (mascara story). My (our) two dogs are large, gorgeous, "matching" in looks and after initial meeting, well behaved. (Yell the German command "Pluatzen!" to the female, and open your hand as you say it... She will still go right down, in front of you, even from a dead run.) My husband's sister, whose first name starts with "C" has an @ss you could park a Peterbuilt on! We (I) own a gorgeous property with a stream and pond, out in the woods. (That should help for identification purposes!!!)

He went to Fun Junction (btw, he took all the Fun Junction coins I'd saved for sentimental value from when the boys were little--thanks. You stole my memories of my happy days with my children). You googled the address for Fun Junction from our house computer (he hates google and only uses bing), then according to his phone he drove there. Later, you two stopped at Tops in Cicero, bought ice cream cones and sugary cereal (and cheap wine coolers.... eeeewwwww) and you returned to the house. Then YOU googled 15 minutes worth of YouTube videos on "La Lupe"--some kind of weird Cuban singer from the 60s and 70s. You actually put him through 4 videos and 15 minutes worth of that!!!! Hahahahahahah!!!! He had to have been cringing inside, because (and here's a little secret), I liked Salsa until I met him--and he HATED it so much, I gave up ever listening to it.... I wish I could have been a fly on the wall for that one! Pfft. What a guy will go through to get laid....

If you're a real, actually nice person, that has been duped, just know that he's gotten very good at lying. He's a lot of fun. He's a great cook, and a great talker...And he's not single, he's just trying to get laid. Or worse. He's courting you as the next Mrs., knowing that our divorce will leave him very, very financially screwed. And you, my dear, are lookin' to him like his life boat. Get out while you can.

GOOD LUCK WITH HIM! THE PACKAGING IS DAMAGED AND WHAT'S INSIDE IS PRETTY SPENT, TOO!

159 comments:

Davido's driver said...

Stories that touch

AbokiDaWarriBoy said...

NOISE!

Unknown said...

What is epic about this? I'm tired of women blaming women when its their husband they Shud confront, it take two to date,ur man is a adult and can make decisions, face him,query him and stop fighting a blind battle!

Unknown said...

Yeah.....truly epic

kudos said...

She did a good one,I like that idea.....Believe

Unknown said...

Oyamilenu oo.shoro niyen in earth

Unknown said...

This grammar is too long jaré.. She better rest before she develop high blood pressure. Me I can't drink paracetamol on any useless man.. Men can never stop cheating.. Next plzzz!!!

I AM SELFMADE said...

issokay

Unknown said...

Enter your comment...can't read it all bt its quite epic. Its guinness malt all d way

Unknown said...

Eeyya som ppl ar really sufferin in there marriages

Bonita Bislam said...

This woman has time oh.Falling in luv & getting married this days is an act of faith I swear
A wager that against all odds things will work out.
Everything is patience, blind eyes & more patience.kai

Uzosafetyblog said...

She really took out time to pin down this piece. #IRepLIB

Becky said...

Men are really frustrating 15 year is not 15 day,she must be heart broken to write this poor woman,for that woman God will give her what she deserve

Unknown said...

The level of enjoyment I'm going through would not allow me to read this long piece.


Sincerely speaking the mind of Amadioha

Unknown said...

Now that's 🔥🔥🔥







*DEW*

tosisochukwu said...

She can fit hold her self anylonger


























!brightosman aka fake phyno .#gerarahere

omidan abby said...

OK I think I like this but can't do this cos I want to live long... but then, of wat shall it benefit girls dating married men? When there are single guys out there with massive dick and all..choose ur choice. Married men sucks abeg, they just want to catch fun and might kit even 'take care of u' as u presume b4 goin into it..SMH!

Anonymous said...

God! How disgusting and bitchy.I see why he wants a divorce

Unknown said...

Nice fa....

waxxy said...

may God touch his Heart for her

Troubleshooter® said...

Lol. Men men men. Thank God I'm hermaphrodite.

#troubleshooter

Unknown said...

The level of enjoyment I'm going through right now will not allow me to read something this long.


Sincerely speaking the mind of Amadioha

CHYGURL from CHYNA said...

Just Negodu marriage gone sour

Mab said...

She is pained....

Anonymous said...

Crazy woman, u knw ur husband is mad up to this, whats making u think that his craze has not reached up to pulling the trigger on u.

Naomi said...

I so love dis lady

NaijaDeltaBabe said...

Too long fa
Can LIBers see me at all? Am I invisible?

Naomi said...

I so love dis lady.....d open leta is dope

debutante aka who anonymous don help said...

lol..oke efe. All I see is a scorned woman who's afraid to loose

Okogba said...

I suspect they have a lingering marital crisis that led the husband to cheating.....

Martins said...

Take heart. Your husband will come back. Remember, he loves you. He only went out to get dirty a bit. He would come back again and you will clean him up, dry him and take him to bed. He is your bone and flesh.

Unknown said...

Men and their ways..

Cherry girl said...

how the hell did she survive this

Unknown said...

Seen
#needanalibitojoinmetastethenewgeishasardine

Cherry girl said...

how the hell did she survive this

Unknown said...

Too f**king long meeeen.

AliBaba DeKingMaker said...

1. Eyaaa, so sorry madam
2. Me don't know what's happening now in our society
3. But I will beat this record coz I hv made up my mind not to cheat on my wife no matter what (so help me God)
4. #MYOPINION#

Anonymous said...

All this talk wife normaly talking that after a divorce a husband will go
broke have made alots of guys not getting married but babymama

Unknown said...

Too fucking long meen

Unknown said...

Lol, this is so epic.



~FromOutOfThisWorld~

Unknown said...

THE HUSBAND THOU..... MANAGING TWO CHICKS.






AUNTY LINDA....

Unknown said...

Men will always be men..

Eddy Ogbunambala said...

Ndi ocha sef, l like the way sha

Eze said...

These people always compose shiiii and expect is to read...do they think we at this dumb.....sha na jobless bloggers dey cause all this...
Henry Eze

Eze said...

These people always compose shiiii and expect is to read...do they think we at this dumb.....sha na jobless bloggers dey cause all this...
Henry Eze

Anonymous said...

These people always compose shiiii and expect is to read...do they think we at this dumb.....sha na jobless bloggers dey cause all this...
Henry Eze

Ruphina said...

The power of a woman can move shiite. Linda do something
Sophy philosophy department UNN
Asogwaruphina@gmail.com

Olaaliu said...

Na me go read all this.. I get other post to read

Anonymous said...

The woman is really upset! No need for this article, just go on your knees and fire prayers, forget the materials items but deal with your hubby in the spiritual. Nothing Epic here !

FRESH said...

Whoever this guy is,he's just been castrated. Lolz

Unknown said...

Lol. Nice one but I won't waste my time writing this novel. I will mind my business and be happy. I cannot come and go and die for a mere man lol.

Unknown said...

Hmm that's truly epic

jbankzE said...

Epic!

CEO

onyx's crush said...

Ehwwww!!! Epic indeed!

onyx's crush said...

Ehwwww..... epic indeed

Unknown said...

Some women have time...I can't do this to myself, a real lady must keep it all together, and forge ahead with life...you don't have to go thru the stress of writing this lengthy crap cux u can't control ur anger smh...#donjazzy's ex

CherishD said...

A word is enough for d wise. Experience they also say is d best teacher.

Doctor sparkle said...

She get time...

Doctor sparkle said...

She get time...

Anonymous said...

DEADDDDDDD
this is EPICCCCCCC

Doctor sparkle said...

She get time

Mufliat said...

That's a whole lot of words there,I hope they listen I dont know wat single ladies see in married men.
As for me if he needs to take a new wife hes very free but fornicating I won't take that.





#Hajia Mufliat

Unknown said...

Can't stop laughing #linda's pearl#

Emmanuella said...



Happy Sunday people... discover why only 20% of people are successful with new year resolutions ... www.fortheshopaholic.blogspot.com ...the answer will daze u

Asa said...

Heyyyyyyy, I can imagine the pain the wife going through. Some guys just burn you up. Needy fellows

Unknown said...

Wow

HUMBLE EVE said...

Hhmmm, na wa. Una welldone

Unknown said...

Mm.....tis is some white people shit................ts all good







#AmNewHere
#AmGettingOldHere
#HeartBroken

Unknown said...

All is well

Unknown said...

All is well. Linda bestfrnd

DoraDora said...

Ghen ghen! #investingForEasterGiveAway

Unknown said...

lol! that was pretty deep. good luck to them all

Dat Mbaise girl said...

Long story

Unknown said...

Too long 2 read..but I trust it will b epic..so gud 4 dem..God pls save Men

Lindaz in-law(my brother's wife)

Unknown said...

omq
wat a lengthy writeup
it'll probably take five minutes to read
#womenhavegotalotoftymtowaste

Anonymous said...

Chai epic

Unknown said...

Enter your comment...wow epic indeed

Unknown said...

Lol, the woman carry as e dey pain am write this long epistle.

Unknown said...

Hmmmmmmm that's hurting!

Unknown said...

Too long for a sunday morning

Unknown said...

Its Epic indeed

Unknown said...

The woman is mean


I love Linda Ikeji #nohomo #NoBadBlood

«denkoh» said...

u are confused ..busy behaving like a yoruba woman ....u for beg am say him cheat nah ...the man behaved like a typical yoruba man ..shock say nah yankee sef

Unknown said...

I hop she do well 2 live ur husband alone...!

Unknown said...

Wow.....

bonny girl said...

Awwwwwwww,#the pakaging is damaged and what's inside is pretty spent too!!!!!!# lol

Crayice said...

Epic, Epic Epical omo you go fear engirish.

Crayice7@gmail.com

Unknown said...

Hmm.
Loved the way she channeled her pains.

Kponskii said...

Wow! Smart helova woman.

Unknown said...

So so touching.... Take heart dear







#she'sunique#

Elizabeth said...

This just wao, men men, mine gave me the biggest shock of my life after 17yrs, so I am not surprise.

Anonymous said...

Dis woman is a good detective

Anonymous said...

All I see is her pain. The write up is too long for someone who is unbothered.

Anonymous said...

All I see is her pain. The write up is too long for someone who is unbothered.

Lee said...

Lol, Dis letter wuld definitely scare d mistress away instanta!!! Dats y I love ma husband Don jazzy, he doesn't do all dat...


...#Am Don jazzy's wife!!

Chizzy Liz said...

******** U go fear Marathon open letter na ........ Dem no teach u summary for

secondary school ne ????? ,,,,,, doubt if d woman go read am sef

African foodstuff and Raw Materials said...

Lolz

Unknown said...

Ahh...this woman is deep ooo!!

Ruby Owanate said...

Someone should summarize pls

Unknown said...

Linda next time you post a nude pix here and cover the nude, me and you go get problem.
show us everything o, nobody be small pikin here.



WARN YOURSELF O




lol...

Unknown said...

Enter your comment...

I love this

















#It WiLL oNLy gEt beTTer
#iT MuSt eNd IN pRAisE



Unknown said...

The ex wife is clearly hurt and there is nothing epic about this letter.

Dockeeys said...

Hmmmm, real word for real situation.

Anonymous said...

lol..nice try but too long..gudluck to d bitch she's writing to ..soft wifey..one love *wink*

Eddee Baba said...

If you chased married man ur husband will be chased too lol

Unknown said...

Madam get your shit together, u're not the only one who has a stray dog for a husband.

Unknown said...

Hahhaahha, so funny... but how did she get all dis info.. hm... nice one tho.

Unknown said...

Strong woman

Unknown said...

Hahhaahha, so funny... but how did she get all dis info.. hm... nice one tho. hope she's not cheating too

Efe said...

Hehehe! Laff wan kill me die! Epic! That's what most women don't knw! His current wife has put up with a lot of shit! Don't ever think he'd change for you or yours wud b different!

Unknown said...

Too long. But my point is, why get married when you know you're not ready to stay faithful?




Wild flowers!

Amy babe said...

GBAM!!!

Amy babe said...

GBAM!!!

Omoakin said...

too long for me to read.

Fine girl said...

Wow! I seriously love this woman.Trying to make lemonade with the lemons life gave her.

Unknown said...

This is too long now..wueva shez writting this to won't even read it.Shez longing tin


#sugarLove

OMG!WOMAN said...

Oh dear Lord!!!! The things men turn women into. My best line "what a guy will go through to get laid".

Moses Iwux said...

Hmmmmm... wahala dey

The gods will keep watching till that very day

lilly sammie said...

I like such women but I think she would have done it without letting the public know.

Anonymous said...

Sad, pathetic and desperate woman. She should confront her skirtchasing husband and stop chasing after an anonymous faceless entity who isn't bothered by her "epic," cry of frustration. If she was any good, her husband wouldn't be manipulating her, while sleeping with another woman. Women could be so self-deluded and willfully slavish.

Anonymous said...

It is not epic. She is bitter

Anonymous said...

Not epic. She is bitter- Newyorker

Amy said...

*yawns. Linda because its copy and paste...easy does it, you come carry all this epistle download here? Come on!

Unknown said...

She's so pained. I feel so sorry for her. Poor woman

MAMACITA said...

Unless the other woman is very desperate with lots of money, or otherwise stupid, she'll surely run.

Unknown said...

Too long Jor.....Whykay

La Belle said...

Too long abeg

Adesuwa said...

Enter your comment...She's trying to sound all tough and all but she's scorned

Adesuwa said...

Enter your comment...She may sound all tough and all but she's a woman scorned! She's pained

passions said...

I really don't kw wt to say seriously men men pls if u kw dt one ***** will never b ok for u pks dont get married pls. Y do u jus come in to someone else life n complicate things. ..eseokodugha75@yahoo.com

Unknown said...

SHE TRY. STRONG LADY

Irene b said...

OMG.This is epic

NneGal aka Linda post my Comments hahahaa said...

Hahahahahahahaha Linda this shut is "Real Epic " hahahahaha

NneGal aka Linda post my Comments hahahaa said...

Linds post Ma comments

Anonymous said...

She has time to waste...

sweetie said...

It epic, intelligent woman

Unknown said...

That's hurting...

Mayberry said...

Wow she has time,instead make she they cabash make God bring her hubby back to her she they there they write rubbish

Unknown said...

So so sorry

Unknown said...

So sorry dear

Unknown said...

Very tough. I love it

Anonymous said...

I thank God who recognises fools esp in men like Nabal, Ahab, King Saul, the rich fool etc... who deluded themselves just bcos they felt they could do anything and still get away with it... *not this one can escape. FOOL!!!

Anonymous said...

she has time

bokiboki said...

This madame get time o

Anonymous said...

I think she over estimates just how much she'll get from the divorce. If it were that easy, women would be divorcing more frequently. Good lawyers aren't cheap, and the court system doing right by women is hard to come by.

Victor Emeka Isaac said...

The woman is not taking chances




Also Check Vabadon's Blog

Unknown said...

Heya
-D great anonymous now as Vivian Reginalds

Sir Vin said...

ara nwayi asaba...heeee....there was a country

Unknown said...

Epic *stories that touches*

Anonymous said...

Tufiakwa. Cos she's a washer woman abi. Mchewww.

Anonymous said...

Always an excuse. Well, since he's a lingering bastard, he deserves to be divorced.

Anonymous said...

Who told you she wants him back. Let God touch his heart for himself.

Anonymous said...

She already faced him. Can you not read?

Anonymous said...

Mumu

Anonymous said...

You can stay with your cheating dog if you like, she's no longer interested and is actually getting her shit together.

Anonymous said...

Stay there and be cabashing for someone who doesn't give a damn about you. Madam calabash. She's not desperate to stay married, in case you haven't realised.

Pearlie said...

Shit got real

Unknown said...

LONG GIST


MISSVEE

Unknown said...

Pray for your husband..... this is to long to read

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