I need advice from matured minds please.I will make the long story short..I married at the age of 18yrs, and my husband is 19years olders than me. I already have 2 boys and 2 girls for him. We both came from a very rich family so money it not the issue here.
His
own problem is that his ego is as big as the mountains. Maybe young age
those days made me over looked a lot of things. Now I am older I have
come to realize that we are not meant for each other at all. His choice
of words are zero. He stopped me from work and said as long as he is
living I will never work. I should take care of the kids. Bear in mind
people he doesn't treat me badly physically. Actually he is those kind
of men that tells you how every Eve out there wants to have a piece of
him.. Bla bla bla!! Hope you now understand his type.
What
do I do? I am very unhappy living with a man I don't love anymore and
with 4 kids? Will I continue to live like this for the rest of my life?
People
please do not advice me to kneel down and keep praying, I need a
realistic advice not that I don't believe in the powers of prayers..
Most important I have no other man in my life and I am thinking about no
one. Check out just 33 yrs of my life living like this till when?
Somebody please help me..pleaseeeeeeeee.. I am living for my kids now, I
am about dying due to stress
of this issue..
444 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 400 of 444 Newer› Newest»Av u not heard of d trend divoice, leave him woman
Give your emotions sometime-you may be passing through a phase....maybe your present feeling is only a virtual one. While doing that, try to do some of the stuff that may rekindle the initial feelings that you once had when you got married. Try talking to him about the ego thing and other 'piss offs'. Above all, try to still pray to your God and make it work - four kids is no joke!
CLEARLY...... there is another guy
I don't even see any issue here. All I see is a lady who wants to explore life by all means. Pls calm down, and take care of ur home. He doesn't abuse u physically, he treats u well, jst that he has ego, lol, wat is a man without his ego? Abeg, close ur legs, dats all ur looking for
Ojai says"there is nothing else i can say to this if not to try and love him again. He is ur man. For the sake of the kids. Bt, were u forced to marry him, since u said u both r from rich homes, y did u go into so early marriage. I knw his ego could be irritating at times,bt u have bn living with it for 15yrs now. Its well with u. Jst try and try, atleast like him.
pele o...divorce am nw
33years with 4kids already for him and you're from a wealthy home? The kids should be your outmost priority in whatever decision or advise you hid to.. The best and only option I see is Divorce but I don't know what your idea of divorce is. The worst will be staying with him and having extra marital affairs.. In all, have a heart-to-heart discussion with him first ooo
Eyah...bt the bible says no divorce in marriage. So u av 2 ask God 2 giv u d heart to love ur husband.
No one will blame u for naively agreeing to an arranged marriage but my dear u've been married for 15years. Even dou u r in d marriage for d wrong reasons, its unadvisable for u to quit jst like dat. My take it dat u take some drastic steps dat will decide d next course of action for u. Get a job if u can, polish urself more, make urself look as if uhave found som1 outside alredy. Its either he mellows down and u bcome d star or he can't take it nd pushes u out, den yaaga! U r free. Don't let divorce b ur 1st option but if u still insist on having another taste of life...jst accept u r a bitch, get done with it nd don't feel guilty about shit!!!
You need a younger guy just for a lil while, hola @ michdean77@yahoo.com for one
U say money isn't the problem meaning u dint marry for the money.. And yet u say u dnt love him meaning u dint marry for love either.. Why then did u get married?!
Women these days...sweetheart so long as he doesn't beat or physically abuse you please stay strong.one of the vows you exchanged on your wedding day was for "better for worse..."I believe in dialogue, you should sit your man down and talk to him...its only normal as human to get bored or tired considering that you've been married this long and at a young age but sweetheart you can look within and find ways to spice up your home...Communication is key dear
Is a pity my dear but never cause 4 alarm.For d past 15yrs u hv been managing him,and now u hv realised ur mistakes? To me is not a mistake but lessons. I thank God dat u hv knwn what ur problems are,so learn how 2 tackle it.Remember, @ d alter u said "in sickness n in health,in poor n wealth etc"
My kindly advice is u hv 2 accept d fact dat u r married n d house is urs as d manager, it has 2 be moving d way u(manager) wants it. So try n understand him dat way n I knw he is now of age so all tins remain equall(setelis paribus). Continue wit him but strategise ur managerial tactice ok. D house is urs n u should go no where. Above all prayer is d key even do u put it aside,but I tell u God is d ultimate in dis issue. (Check mathew 7:7)
hope you can afford to live on your own if not berra stay where you are get a job and then leave but i believe he will not allow you go with kids pls be wise
It is really a dilema .... Can't advice you to leave ur marriage happy or not happy.... For the kids you need to find a way to make it work ....its a commitment ... Stop looking outside and start looking at how to make inside better... Wish you the best.
Maybe if you had completed your education instead of running into marriage,your diction won't be this bad.Mehn,watch your punctuation and tenses......
This aside,its obvious he doesn't value you.This is because he tells you how others out there are after him.He married you as a trophy wife.He was 38 n desperately in need of a wife too.You were 19 and flirting with the idea of marriage.
You have no self confidence and you have accomplished nothing to convince him you can hold up on your own in terms of working.He sees you as someone to protect cos you're still way younger,even though you are 33.Don't forget hez still getting older as you are too so the age gap is still same.
In all,you're a weak woman who sits around complaining about how huge your husband's ego is and how rotten his mouth is without doing anything to challaange him for some respect.He'll never respect you,sadly and he'll probably be out there flirting with more powerful women.My advice is,You married this man for security,best you stick to him.From your demeanour,I see you can't stand on your own for now,don't bother trying.Just try to make things work with him.You don't need to love him.Try taking advanced educational courses in Nigeria or abroad.to advance yourself,garner some of his respect and it might be useful in future
Simple. Divorce him if you can't go on
My dear , dere is nufin dat can be done, u are in already just find a way 2 ♡ him back,cos divorcin him is not an option n it's a sin 2wards God!!!! N pls make sure ur children dnt make such mistakes, dey shuld b matured b4 getin married! Thanx
Hmmmmmmm u story is exactly my story, but think about the children, don't forget a man cannot make you happy, through happiness comes from God. Get something doing, create your own happiness, God bless u
Concerning d issue of ego & stuffs like that, discuss it with him, make ur feelings know to him. Keep d flame of love awake cos there ought to b something nice about him
Are u a christian? If yes! Am sorry honey, thrs no room for divorce. U have to keep prayin and trustin God. Marriage is for better or for worse! I believe in miracles, things cn turn around and change for u and ur husband and u begin to love again. Pray pray pray. I knw u dnt want to hear that. Prayer is d key! Its nt easy anywhr. U see some pple laughin all d time wv their spouses, deep dwn, they have a pin piercing them buh they just chose not to show it cos they understnd the essence of marriage. That's my honest opinion. Good luck
You are just bored and idle.
Get a job. Or open a shop.
Keep busy.
send d man's number let me date him........to give u a break.shebi na wetin u want
1st of all i tink dey shld seek a marriage counsellor
U ar married wit 4 kids wat else ar u lukin 4 again,stay wit him bcos of ur kids.bcos if u leave him now ur kids wil hate u in future#sugarking#
First of all dear y have to direct yr problems to God first of all to guide and direct u in all ur decision. I believe that what ever has gone wrong in your marriage is fix able so don't lose faith Becos no man or woman can advise u in such matters Becos they don't wear your shoes u are the best person to advise urself
Just get a divorce....
Keep living for ur kids
Sweetness, the sad truth is that here in nigeria, we don't support and encourage divorce but the truth is that there is absolutely nothing you can do to change the situation. You just have to find something that makes you happy and stick to it.
its sad but its the truth..
My dear u have been married to this man since u were 18 and u alreeady hav 4kids for him, since den u ve been enduring all his wahala, I tink u shudnt giv up now. If u divorce him, its not d best option. Rememba ur kids, there is no way he will allow u part wit dem if u get divorced and he might surely get a 2nd wife dat wil maltreat ur kids! U re 33 now, jst stay in ur marriage and try to work tins out wit ur hubby for d sake of ur children if u truly love dem, try to find somtin dat u love doing to be able to 4get ur pains nd sorrows. Pray consistently too! Remember no marriage is a bed of roses, somtyms we have our squabbles! I'm talking frm experience cos I'm married as well. Since he's not abusing u, try to start liking him again and d two of u shud talk about ur problems. May God give u d heart to endure all d sorrows nd pains of ur marriage, Amen! Such is Life!
U have no choice, marrisge is for better nd for worst. Accept it as fate.
Do whatever u have been thinking. Leave him. I guess u need a break. Take one if u can, rent an apartment or move in with ur parents if they don't mind. Discuss with yr mum how u feel and hear her out. Bottom line is take a break.
Exactly wat I am feeling,mine is just like 5yrs + 2kids,I hate my man cos we know no peace in d house,most times I wish I cld run buh I dnt want to go back 2my parents buh lately suicide attempt comes to my head,I'm d saddest being on earth,I'm sure dis comment will help me too,I awaits dem
Jst ignore his wahala nd continue taking care of ur kids biko! Dnt even tink of leaving ur marriage o, u hav 4kids already! Very soon ur children wil bring u uncountable joys dat u wnt even rememba dat man dat mks u sad! Hav faith it is well!
Men are like dt,dear as u said u re living for ur kids sake buh if d situation is getting worst,pls leave and be a single mother.My advice for u is nt to re-marry cos u av to consider ur kids
My dear how did you endended up with a man 19 yrs older than you? You said u both are from rich home so I guess I couldn't be money so what is it? If not love" or better still search yourself u need to tell us d truth.
My dear u have been married to this man since u were 18 and u alreeady hav 4kids for him, since den u ve been enduring all his wahala, I tink u shudnt giv up now. If u divorce him, its not d best option. Rememba ur kids, there is no way he will allow u part wit dem if u get divorced and he might surely get a 2nd wife dat wil maltreat ur kids! U re 33 now, jst stay in ur marriage and try to work tins out wit ur hubby for d sake of ur children if u truly love dem, try to find somtin dat u love doing to be able to 4get ur pains nd sorrows. Pray consistently too! Remember no marriage is a bed of roses, somtyms we have our squabbles! I'm talking frm experience cos I'm married as well. Since he's not abusing u, try to start liking him again and d two of u shud talk about ur problems. May God give u d heart to endure all d sorrows nd pains of ur marriage, Amen! Such is Life!
No going back till death do u part u made de choice becos u want to maintain de wealthy forgetting dat moni can't buy love
well you said you guys have kids ,let me tell you everything you hope for is kids even some people love their like romeo &julliet but still the don't kids & the relationship break just bcus they don't have kids & also love grow try to put it in ur mind dat it is the love ur life pls tink on ur on .
Plsss madam, don't look at his behavior; look after ur kids n dey will never forget u. Change ur mind set about ur husband. Pls don't think of divorce it's not d solution. Tnx
Try and remember what made you marry him. Also there is more to that you are not saying. I disagree with you that money is the problem I believe it's the problem here. As at 1999 that weird gap in marriages had died down unless you are from the North(with no offense to northerners). In as much as you were from a rich family you unknowingly picked interest in this guy because he was rich and you wanted the same lifestyle you grew up with. You were too young to understand and you are suffering it today. I can imagine getting married at 18 to a 37 year old you met him when you were 17 or 16. That's too young. All my mates that engaged in that all got pregnant in secondary school and are not married till today. So you're lucky he most likely loves u. Finally if your parents or anyone advised u about your decision and you refused, you have to bear the consequences alone I'm afraid. If not look for who forced u in and make the person pay for ur unhappiness cos I still hold you were too young to decide.
This is one of those cases where only you can decide for yourself, You alone wear the shoes, People can only advice based on their own orientation, understanding and values (or lack thereof). It's all your call.
If you feel you cant continue anymore with him you can take a bow out.no man will give u happiness,it comes from u.so think about it deeply before you decide on what to do.
My dear I can relate with ur story. I was a victim too but with d help of God and my family, I was delivered from my Ex-husband. I got married too at d age of 18yrs and he was 38yr. I suffered depression, frustration, loneliness, weight gain and weight loss, my complexion was dull. I could not keep anything down I was confused. As a result of all this, I had series of miscarriages. He used his age difference to oppress me all d time. Everything I did was always wrong. I lived in fear instead of love. He was always suspecting me and accusing me of cheating. I had no friends no one to talk to. His ego is as big as Kilimajaro. He listened to no body not even his family. I prayed to God for strength and courage to move out. If u av tried all u can to make it work and he is frustrating ur efforts, then u av to move on. Ur happiness comes first. Where there is no love, there is no trust, affection, peace. This will affect ur children. U may think they r young but they see as much as u do. Choose to be happy so u can stay alive to enjoy ur children. Emotional sickness is d worst thing to go through.
Obviously its ur kids u wil continue 2 liv 4 till he changes. A lot of marriages re like dat my dear. Urs is not d worst. Just kip overlooking. Buh if u really can't bear it any longer u ask 4 separation. @ least dis wil help u knw if u wil b fine witout him or not.
In my opinion u and ur hubby should visit the SCOAN so hands can be laid on u, u can never tell; the loss of affection may neither be from u nor the arrogance from ur hubby; it may just be the devil trying to separate a marriage from God and u would need a real strong man of God for this.
I hope my advise helps. God bless!
U can develop luv 4. Ur man if u really want.but d fact is dat u want 2 leave him 4 anoda,believe me no reasonble man will take u into his huz as a wife.come 2 tink of u having 4 kids, hw can a man marry a woman dat hav 4 kids already.u shud better sit up b4 u loose him
U just have to endure...after all you have been living with him for this years, and please consider your kids,am sure they need their both parents together
Mehnn dis 1 hard sha
Don't ever think of leaving, you have joined the marriage hood and that's it, be yourself and try to love him that's all you can do, because God hate divorce. Start loving him and try showing him love that will bring his heart to work with yours, don't find him disgusting because he is already your husband, and it's good that you don't have any other man in your life and also good that you are not planning to, so I would I advice that you maintain it rather than allowing the devil walk into your home to destroy it. Don't force things on him but show him love that will make him hear you out, give him surprises like gifts and try to show him some love of sweetheart I will be the one to bath you tonight. Start telling him how much you love him and the kids. Always pray about it too, but take more actions than prayers so that the devil will flee
This is a serious issue, I say dis bc i knw hw u feel...love dies esp when there's lack of communication and being sensitive towards ones feelings. ppl say pray,manage but for how long? Marriage is till death but would one keep leaving a miserable life bc of d kids and wht d society would say? It's not better outside if u decide to walk away.Anyway,a bird at hand is better than many in d bush.
Dearie I think you are passing a phase,if only you will calm down,and realise that the grass always seem greener on d oda side,no marriage is perfect,I guess you want to hear pple tell you to quit?then anyoda advice is aside from that is unrealistic.Sorry to burst ur bubbles....kneel down and tell God to give you that peace that surpasseth all understanding.I tell you,when you have the peace of God everything will be ok.if you can keep calm and allow God to take charge,u will be happy you did...please don't listen to anybody telling you to quite.life isn't easy anywhere...there is no person in dis world dat can give you perfect happiness,you alone get dat from God,and you have to pray for it to get.#Nuffsaid
Commit suicide.....
Three oprions: 1 discuss this with ur mother for motherly advice. 2. Follow ur mind. 3. Seek for separation but not divorce. If u die life continues.
Going by your article its obvious u never lived your life, got married early and definitely less interaction due to the fact you do not work. Its obvious you are plain bored and need a major distraction.
Marriage is not a bed of roses moreso with kids involved. You can pack up and leave it all behind but to what end and purpose. Look at most marriages that last long, there is no happiness or love in there anymore, just tolerance and management.
Get a divorce and take a long vacation to the caribeans or something.
Don't ever think of leaving, you have joined the marriage hood and that's it, be yourself and try to love him that's all you can do, because God hate divorce. Start loving him and try showing him love that will bring his heart to work with yours, don't find him disgusting because he is already your husband, and it's good that you don't have any other man in your life and also good that you are not planning to, so I would I advice that you maintain it rather than allowing the devil walk into your home to destroy it. Don't force things on him but show him love that will make him hear you out, give him surprises like gifts and try to show him some love of sweetheart I will be the one to bath you tonight. Start telling him how much you love him and the kids. Always pray about it too, but take more actions than prayers so that the devil will flee.
I'M THE FIRST TO COMMENT
linda you only know how to gossip but you dont pay attention to details, you should have edited this bad English this lady is torturing us with
Honestly,I don't rlly understand ur story......Really
Am speechless..since there's no love,please do well and file for a divorce ok!
My dear is beta u stay wit him for d fact dat u av 4kids is gud enough for u to be wit him I believe one day u will learn to love him wit all ur heart
D old boi is fuckin 52yrs,just giv him more 8yrs & he wil b d one writing 2 Linda on what 2 do 2 get his dear wifes heart back. And den u wil b d one dancing Azonto.... Hehehehe. U undastnd what I mean? Divorce isn't good cos it won't help ur kids.
Kneel down and kip praying
Pls no one should insult her...o cos u need to wear her shoes n walk a thousand miles before u judge...not just testing to see if d shoes fit buy walking a thousand miles in it...gbam
sorry ooo...I guess you are reaping the results of a stupid decision made by either you or your parents to get into marriage just after ur adolescent period...you just have to bear it and engage your life in more constructive ways...get a business and engage yourself..
follow your heart and dont cheat on him... open up to him and ask for a divorce in a good way...
You made your bed..so deal with it
Marriage is nt a do or die affair, if u re tired n can't endure any more pls leave in peace bt it has 2 be a mutual agreemnt. If u continue 2 live with him when u dnt love him, u might be tempted 2 harm him 1 day. Dnt 4get dat d parental care n love of ur children will be @ steak!!!
U better starting loving him now cos no going back
Hmmmmmmmmm madam. Honestly dere is nofin outside, since ur husband is taking good care of u, stay n pray so dat God wil tek dat evil thot 4rom ya mind, if not, hmmmmmmm, u wil just join d group of single/divorces dat men use(both finacially n emotionally) n dump(meemee).
only God has the power to all things. This is jst the simple truth.unless u have a different plan in mind.
If you want our opinion then dnt tell us what to say hence you stil need prayers in all situations... My advise is to stop seeing all his faults n try to see his good side for the sake of Ūя̲̅ kids n also try to change some things abt yoursef as well..You r matured now so apply wisdom in making Ūя̲̅ Marriage a succes cos every home has their issues.
&&&You are a fool, after enjoying his money, you want to leave him, right? I hope he deals with you, you are a bad markettttttttttttttttt
I was once in your shoes living with a man i had fallen out of love with.mine was physical,mentally and emotional abusing me and was not providing for the family.all he does is smoke weed and drink alcohol.
I am separated from him right now and have not been this happy before.i am enjoying been single and eveyone says and i am looking much better than when i was with him.
Will eventually divorce him just taking my time.i must say even the kids are looking happier.
You live just once and so no point saying in an unhappy marriage.
You will need to start working and be independent.
Am not saying you should leave the marriage but you need to be happy.
At least ur man is not abusing you and so there is still hope.
You must remain in dat marriage bcos U̶̲̥̅̊ have a great role to play in. The lifes of your children.Live by example.marriage is not a day walk!it is Marsthon so u have to run it wisely,as you said,you are now mature.If you don't love your husband,at least U̶̲̥̅̊ love your children!!!!!!So Comfront Ɣ☺U̶̲̥̅̊я worries
After four kids? N u r just realising u r not meant for eachother..uve bin married to him for 15yrs..
Maybe u shud try talking to him bout wot u want.
Don't even tink about divorcing him..tink bout ur children first
Even though you don't want to hear prayers but that's really the solution. Pray for God to restore love to your marriage.
Also, think about your children. Is it fair for them to grow up with divorced parents? Fight for your marriage and never give up.
File a divorce and remain single.
Go and watch the good wife from season 1 to 5.maybe you will learn some coping and negotiative skills from them
Ok, you married an older guy and now, you want someone younger, abi? What do you want us to tell you, divorce him? For your info, you have four kids and men are not going to be tripping over for you. You'd better sit down with your hubby and try to work out the things that are irritating you about him.
WAT iS SHE EVEN SAYIN SEF....UR 33 and yu even av kids....dnt U kno ur already old..or do u tink ur a man...wanna find luv at ur age wen u are already maried...do u tink its easy to get husband...u wanna work...wen e is providin for d familly wat do u wanna wk for..y dnt u jst tel us dat ur tired of 1 dick entrin ur pucy nd yu wanna work sodat u will test anoda typ of dick
God bless u wit one and you re complaining i advjcevyou to start loving him a loving wife is d greatest support to her husband.
Hmmmmm,u said we shouldn't advice u 2 pray,my lips r sealed den,cos I cnt tink of anyoda tin but prayers.
Talk to your mother first and see how your family would respond to it before you know what to do. You should try talking with your man as well and see if you could both maybe take trips or try rekindle the affection. If that does not work then you can move on. # Love counts.
Why are you looking for advice now? You know how you feel and you said you are 33yrs old . I think you know what u want , so stop fooling around looking for excuses.
Get a job, Start working on something you love. Have a hobby.Itl take your mind off the bullshit a bit. Try to do things you did when u first married this guy. Trust me, divorce is not always the answer
you sound like you want to leave,so im not gonna waste your time file for divorce
Everyone deserves to be happy,u can't spend d rest of ur lyf unhappy. I would advice u to consider ur children ere cos if u were to leave would u av d custody of ur kids? If yes,walk out d door bt if not let ur children be ur source of happiness nd stay wit dem in ur husbands ouse. Else ur children myt suffer ur absence soooo much. Then try to spark up ur relationship wit ur husband. This would be impossible only wen u av someone else. So pls think deeply bfor u make any decision.
Yes that's why ur Nigerian we de manage even without love....think of what ur kids will go thru with a broken home. u can try and love him that's y it's for better or worse.. kneel to God we no be oyibo
I'm sorry to say but you are a joke. You mean you are just waking up to this realization after you've had 4 kids? Trust me, you guys need to sort your issues because leaving him is not an option for you. Which single man is going to marry a woman with 4 kids in Nigeria? Unless you are planning to go and be a 3rd or 4th wife somewhere else. Or probably you want to just remain unmarried and flirt around with random men. Some girls can be stupid sha!!!
Get busy! Tell him you want to go on vacation with ur kids dis summer break,den buy stuff and come back 2 sell. Start dat way and open a major butique in ur town. Relate with he's friend's wives and find favour in d sight of his friends, so that U can receive patronage. Assure him dat nothing will change,ul still look after him and d kids,just dat U want to have a business. But start by buying thngs on vacation and maintening contact outside d country, justin case he doesn't permit U 2 travel often 4 ur goods. Ure feeling caged,so get some air. Get set 4 his disapproval,but keep pleading and emply hands 2 man ur business so dat U can b in d shop btwn when d kids go 2 skul and when dy return. God answers prayers and he can help U get established without issues with ur hubby. Remember the earnest and heartfelt prayer of a righteous person (to God) makes tremendous power available,dynamic in its working. God Bless U. Mrs O
this one na Gobe, Ayakata... Original Gobe
This is what charly boy called the "i don see am finish syndrome" a bit of a difficult one cos this is common in many marriages. No matter what advice u are given right now...you choice of what to do will depend on your own conscience. you got three broad choices
1. find a way and rediscover you husband again, rekindle the love... love needs work u know... like fire u gotta sheild it from the heavy winds, and when its burning low u gotta add more fuel and remember u got kids and i believe u want them to grow in a stable family environment like you did so it becomes a bit complicated.
2. Communication: talk to him, tell him how unhappy u are, tell him the way u feel. If he is a good man he will be pricked in the soul cos no good man want his woman to be unhappy no matter how egoistic he seems the fact that u are unhappy and u've humbly expressed it to him will leave a tint on his conscience.
3. I know u don't wanna hear this...if u are a christian pray!!!! it works and thats practical .
I don't intend to make any fun of this issue, but it is sad and funny at the same time knowing that you stayed for 15 years with this man and not know that you didn't have any form of love for him. Well, i hope this is for real and not that you just want to get your story in Linda's blog. What i've got to tell you is this...I am not a fan of divorce and would never be. simply respect this man and live for your children and even as painful as it may sound (pray about this and seek the counsel of you pastor) Your children deserve to have their mother and father in one place. Learn to love him because it is very possible. i have a lot to say but it would become an article if i decide to say everything in ma mind.
Get a Divorce den!Life is too short to be unhappy.Let's be realistic,u aren't happy and can't stand d man,den get a divorce.U can't stay in a marriage cos of ur kids cos am sure those kids u are staying for already knw u are unhappy no matter how much u hide.Bt b4 u go get a divorce,ask ur self if dis is really wat u want?If u can be able 2 care for ur self Financially wen u leave?If u can den go ahead and tell ur hubby u want out,Don't go abt causing a scene cos u and ur hubby need 2 still be friendly even after u both get divorced for d sake of ur kids.
A lot of women out there are having similar issues & believe me it happens to men too...just try your best to be faithful & look out for things u love about him..those thoughts will keep u straight & rekindle the love u once felt, because I believe at some point u felt something for him ...try not to think of leaving him because that is not an option your kids need both of you together...talk to him about your feelings & shape him back with the love you have always had for him ..
Speak to your mum
Drop him, then with time you will find mr right.god help u
let no one dictate how to live your life.you are young with bright future u probably might be scared of where to start from cos you arent working or what people might say,all i want u to know is that you are the one wearing the shoe and deep down your heart u know u just cant take anymore.life is too short. search ur heart and follow it.am talking from personal experirnce.
I'm not going to ask u to kneel down nd pray buh at the same time u need prayers. U knew u didn't love him before married him, so y now? Isn't it too late to shed tear, plus u v 4 kids for him already. Try nd make it work if not for anything buh d sake of ur children.
wouldnt say u were small when u took d decision to marry him, a 19years old girl can think straight. well dont leave the marriage cus
if u leave your situation will be worse. find somthing u like in him and just i
t and your kids to encourage yourself.
Don't blame yourself my dear, you said the truth? "The decison was taken when you where younger and now you are matured" if you feel, you aint happy quite and have a happy life maybe with me lol
You hav to be prayerful not to fall into temptation.pray you dont get attention from another dude.
It has happened to me before and when a guy started giving me attention ,i fall for him.
I am still living to regret my action till date.
You are very venerable now and pls stay off from any male friends
IMO (someone currently going thru a divorce). If 2 adults are no longer happy in a relationship or if atleast one party is sure there is no hope of reconciliation, they go their separate ways. I have chosen peace of mind as a single mother over unhappiness. Ladies pls you don't come from a wealthy background, empower urselves so u can be independent.
u don't want anybody to advice u to pray neither do u have another man in ur life. Then l guess u should manage ur hubby just the way he is
thrash it out with him,it for better or for worse,it even senseless of u bringing such private affair to a public forum,u wouldnt want to raise ur kids in a broken home,what is marriage even turning to these days,with d way things re crumbling marriage will soon go extinct whether anyone believes it or not ciao!
You went and married your ANCESTOR. Immature ANCESTOR for that matter. NNe stay put and endure...ok. Learn to love him and continue to overlook his fault,he is in his fifties by now and seems to be having Mid-life crises so hope for the best that it is a phase. I sincerely hope he doesn't grow out his nails and hair like bruce jenner .
You are mature enough to take decision on ur own. My only advice is that for the sake of ur children. Just endure and talk things over wirh him.
You've already placed a lid on the kind of advice you don't want (do not advice me to kneel down and keep praying) ; that's wrong, my dear lady. True enough, only prayer can save you now + having a hearty chat with your man pointing out what he's doing that you don't like. I hope you're not expecting us to advice you to divorce him? Then, pray and have a talk with him. Cheers!
sweet mother of 4 what i realize is that the chemistry affection is no more there, but come to think of it.. The major problem here is the age different the gap is too much, you are in first stage of life why his in 3rd stage at early 50th's...All you need is to do is to seek for your parent advice
Hmmm i can feel ur pains,becos am also in d shoe,wat me am thinkin is since money is not d problem,u can go ahead call d families and let dem know ur mind,and he should allow u go with ur kids and he can come checkin on dem time to time.
A lot of women out there are having similar issues & believe me it happens to men too...just try your best to be faithful & look out for things u love about him..those thoughts will keep u straight & rekindle the love u once felt, because I believe at some point u felt something for him ...try not to think of leaving him because that is not an option your kids need both of you together...talk to him about your feelings & shape him back with the love you have always had for him ..
Thanks For Expressing Your Pains!! Well I dont Know What To Advice You On, Lets Leave IT for Matured Minds!! #Irestmacase!!
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I understand you are in a very difficult situation, it is the worst thing that can ever happen in a marriage. There's one thing I know you can do that might work. Learn to love him back, explore new things that you've. Never done before. Travel together, ski diving, cart racing do more things together. You might unlock the passion and love that is in there. I wish you thee best Madame.
Leave the marriage!
Its quite sad to hear of people in this sort of situation. First know that you are not alone there are hundreds of men and women who are suffering thesame plight as you. Well if you just realised that you don't love your husband anymore just a few years back, then it means that there was a time you loved him or were even head over heels in love with him, what you are experiencing now happens to everyone once in a while especially in long term relationships. My advise to you is that you stop focusing on his negative sides or attributes that tend to make you hate or dislike your man rather focus on his positive attributes and the love you once had for him. There are things you do love about him and those things made you fall in love with him so my dear focus. Try and be happy if you are unhappy, it will affect the way you relate with your kids and that isn't what you'd love to happen. That's my advise To you but ultimately the decision lies with you because he who wears the shoe knows where n how it pinches. Goodluck dear.
D'man go soon die so have patience
Marriage į̸̸̨§ for eternity remember. U̶̲̥̅̊ ve τ̲̅ȍ bear Ūя̲̅ cross n for d sake n love of ur children,don't call it up plssssssss
Funny but dis is exactly how I feel in my own marriage. And am just 29 yrs old wit 2 kids n married for 8 yrs. I really need dis advice too.
Madam u r lucky u have kids n u have money. Am a married woman n do not love n trust my husband of 4years. We have 2lovely kids already n I handle most financial aspects in the house with my little salary. I love my children n wil do anything for them. So am here cos of them.
Lol@ kneel down and keep praying. On a more serious note, I can relate with ur story, been there, life is too short to be unhappy, in my own case, my man was abusive despite been 17yrs older that I am, but I called it quit and moved out with my 3kids, I got fed up, so my dear, u should live for u and be happy, depression kills faster that u can ever imagine. So if u not happy, then keep it moving.
There's nothing worse than feeling trapped in a relationship. I'd say follow your heart and leave since you don't love him, but you must consider how difficult it would be to get married again, being that you have 4 kids!
Commit everything to God. Tell God to help u over come the storm in ur life and pray that ur husband get a touch from God
Just stay in his house bcoz of ur children buh if u can still settle down as a single mother den u concentrate on ur children don't think of getting marry to any man again
Lol sorry babe......4 beta 4 worse till death....u ve already vowed....lol..pray he dies or develope love for him...ur already in d frying pan....endure!!! Till death
My dear opt out no crime, ur happiness matters
My dear opt out no crime, ur happiness matters
I think u shd go for a legal separation. U deserve to be happy.
liar liar. no such tin as lib readers abeg, linda u just dy entertain us.
Let's try not to be selfish here even though its your life there are kids involved,I do not think anybody should marry or stay in a bad marriage(if its life threathening) bcos of kids involved,you need a good stable life to love kids....now to the matter...for a woman to be inlove with a man isn't difficult all he has to. Do is love her. The way she loves to be loved what I see here is your husband's inability to recognise u r now a woman and need to be loved accordingly,trust me if he takes you away from the kids for abit, wine and dines u and courts you...u wil atleast give him a loving tot so wake him up at night and spk with him. Abt not feeling loved and about ur desires(cos u do av some he isn't missing dats y u feel dis way). Sometimes you will be amazed what a little bit of conversation will do information is power...by the way I assume sex isn't bad cos you've had 4kids *wink* goodluck
I'll advise dat b4 u take any action lyk splitting up,u shud try see a marriage counsellor.
Madam it's normal for u not feel any form of luv towards ur husband,considerig d fact dat u got married at dat tender age bt u cn still turn dat situation around....sit him dwn and talk to him....communicate with eachoda fynd dat tin dat meks u glow once again...fynd dat spark in ur love lyf and dnt forget to pray...jesus is d best marriage counsellor tell him ur problems and he shall perfect everything for u bt pls dnt give up on ur husband esp if u have a good one...
Whe you were having those four kids, were u dreaming?... Lols
My dear it's not easy. Am in almost same kind of situation but mine is that we are about to marry. I loved mine but the things around him are making me go crazy. Talk to a marriage counsellor. I think that is what we need.
I sugest u go for divorce..dats d only option
Try a trial separation. Live apart from your husband for a while to see if you still want to part ways. Divorce if the same feelings persist after the trial period. Can you and your children move in with your parents afterwards?
Your other big problem is financial. Can a family friend hire you or help you find a job? Can you open a small business? Look at the things you're good at as a mum-cooking, sewing, cleaning, managing a budget and household, etc. They're all skills you can repackage as a business or in a job.
I'm sure u have a brain touch.no luv u born 1 2 3 go reach 4 nd u sa u nt lu em' ehn-f I hear....dnt u tink bou ur kids @ al?ma frnd remain wia u ar jawe! *.smh
For the sake of your kids...do not leave...talk to your mum about it, am sure she will understand. And talk to your husband as well...tell him you do not like his actions towards you...pray...he will change, and you might never know...you would start loving him...just tell him everything you told us here (without the I do not love you part o). I guess he doesn't know you feel this way...just talk to him, he will change. Am sure u still have that likeness for him, it's just his behavior that makes you think otherwise.
The deed has been done already,its not a mistake atall cuz deres always a reason for everything...either for a lesson to be learnt or how GOD wants you to bear the next president or the next oprah,you old enuf now so sit him down and beg for a divorce or seperation,life is short and what makes u better is knwin u made a mistake and u are willing to move on,kids dont make a family better so dont say i will stay cuz of my kids,u have to be happy first for u to give the best to ur kids.goodluck
I can't advice you to leave ur home but have you consider talking to him first and let him know how u feel cos u never know he might feel the same way and that will be ur 1st solution.
were you forced wen you got married 2 him? na fresh dick dey hungry you so...abi you don see wixkid and others con they make you wish.no go kill that innocent man o.enousgh said*rawbone*
I tink u need to decide if u really wanna be wit your husband nd works things out or you want to move on wit your life and get a job because getting a job is d first major step
Your mistake was marrying too young and not getting to know who you are as a person first. Yes, like you said, after several kids and a marriage, you made a big and expensive mistake. But a greater mistake would be to stay with someone you do not love anymore. You will just become even more unhappy and dealing with an egotistical man is the worst. Also, your kids will be able to tell at a certain age that there is no love between you and your husband.
I say separate and get a divorce, yes, it's looked down upon but you deserve a second chance at love, life and happiness. Of course pray first and weigh your pros and cons. And please do not listen to people who will warn you to stay with your man and blah blah blah. They are just saying this because you are a woman. If you were a man in this situation they would tell you to run. Anyway, good luck.
Plssss dearie transfer all dat love too ur wonderful kids they need u okay try take ur self more often out too catch fun wit ur kids
go and hang urself
When there is no love you need friendship to keep the marriage and rekindle the love. Try to be his friend, try to enjoy similar things. Go on holiday do new fun things, find a common ground.....................ASJ
This is crying over spilled milk, you already spent 15yrs with the man. Did u just realize u don't love him? Or ure bored U want something new... Either ure praying for his death or U want to try adultery, I see no solution especially wt d age difference. good luck sha
Let me be realistic and tell you that love does not exist. Love is a big fat over-bloated lie that has being over-hyped. If you decide to abandon your family, children and life for "love" my dear you will be shocked what you will find outside. Use your brain stop thinking like a barbie.
Wow!!!! Its not easy tho, bt I tink u need to live for ur kids. 4 kids is no joke at all! Just sit down nd tink of d aspect dat got u really pissed....mayb is smell or something. So u can change him to wat u like cos I will never advice u to leave d father of ur kids! U ave no man u are thinking of... Do u now wnt to be single after 4 kids? No no!
Not too late to leave, if you are not happy leave, four kids can not stand in the way of happiness.
U said u'v given birth to two boys and two girls, if u ask me, i'd ask u to start livin ur life for ur kids nd stop botherin abt findin anoda man to start a new relatnshp wit. U can jst begin to see it as a cros u ar meant to bare... Gud luck
Ur r still young, concentrate on watever u r interested in dat gives u joy. If he does not like it,let him walk
Rubbish....... Linda u sure say u no make up dis story? My dear poster remain wit ur hubby chikena.... Dats my 2 kobo advice cos u aint in any probs at all if u see ir hear marital probs u go thank GOD say urs na nothing..... Marriage issues here n dere abeg make una no dey marry again biko...
The mistake you guys made was going into marriage at that tender age. But that not withstanding, i do believe you were in love with him before you made up your mind to marry him and give him children. I'll advice you to list out all the good qualities of his aswell, if it's more than the bad ones, then you have to rekindle that love again. There is no perfect man out there. Since u said he doesn't abuse u physically, i think you have to get ride of that perception you are beginning to build about him in ur mind. Try as much as possible to show him love, take care of the children and take care of your bedroom duty. For the house wife issue, u can still talk to him about a business that will give you time for the family cos an idle mind is what u r suffering from now. Wish u all the best. Remember, there is no perfect man out there.
You didn't tell us if you are educated and your qualifications. My advise is, get yourself empowered. If you are not educated, learn a trade. If you need all the wisdom and patience you can muster to find your way out of this but you must have something to fall back on at anything. I am sure if you start now, in 2 years time, you can start to find your way out of your present situation and marriage. Wish you best of luck. Cheers.
My dear. You are married with kids already. So please stay right there with him and keep your home. But find yourself a younger sweet boy who will be making sweet fuck to you. It's a feeling you can't imagine or resist. I totally know how you feel. I am in the same situation as you until I found someone who we are both madly in love with each other. My husband took advantage of my tender age. He married me at 18 and is 20 times older than I am. One day I just felt like I woke up from a trance and didn't know how I accepted to marry this man. It's dangerous to make certain decisions...especially in marriage at a very tender age. I have 3 kids with him. I am 32 now. My lover and I have been together for years. His cock is as sweet as honey and ever since our relationship, the tension and stress I had at home out of falling-out-of love with my husband has reduced drastically. But you have to make the operation very smooth and tight. Don't ever get caught. Luckily, the man I'm loving outside, cares so much about my interest and never ever calls me when I'm home. There's absolutely no reason to suspect. The truth is I don't care what any bastard here thinks. Opinion is personal. So any bastard can cuss on themselves. I've just told you what's working for me. I'm a happier woman and look a lot younger than my age. So innocent, you'd never guess I'm loving a sweet dick out of home
Remember any choice u make u have to live wit it. there's no prefect man out dere, try 2 wrk on ur home by speakin 2 ur man.
Hi dear, this is a common tin especially for ppl dat got married early, at 19 u were still a kid n didnt do most of d tins ur mates did cos u were saddled with d marrige responsiblility...u even did well stayin till 33 its not easy. There are only 2 options, stay in it for d sake of ur kids (cos nothing will change n u wont get to love him) or wait a lil till ur kids r big enough den leave. I am not an advocate of divorce but happiness is wat life is all about. There r no guarantees u'll find anythin out dia but it may be worth a try...i hope my comments r published sha.
After 4kids? Abeg try and develop the interest for him and find something to lay your hand upon. Safe
Divorce shuld b a last resort.
Meet a counsellor dat wil counsel d two of u nd u shuld also pray feverently.
If dey don't work, tek a walk out of it.
My cousin had a similar experience. She got married @ 18 nd by 25 she ws already @ the peak of her life wit 4 kids. The egoistic igboman won't allow her work,trade,hang out wit friends nor even visit her relatives. When d situation bcme unbearable, she took her kids nd tday she's havin d ball of her life in London. I knw some pple re gonna fry my ass for dis but marriage is to be enjoyed not endured. Hav a heart 2 heart tlk wit him,let him knw d way u feel nd hw u wanna be treated. Then watch him for sometime. If nuffin changes nd u still feel d same way, then take a walk. #no be do or die#
That Bushman...
If you can't picture yourself with this same man in the next ten years then a divorce should do you good. But then again, you have four kids, would you really want them to be from a broken home?
Go back 2dos thinqz u used 2do 2qeda dat attracted u 2him b4. It may help. + u may choose 2 iqnore d eqo cos I feel daz wat actually quenched d luv. N talk him in2 allowinq u 2 work it will kip u busy n occupied.
If you reading this and you single believing God for a special man or woman please click HERE, do it in faith
Are you sure you are not already cheating on him? This should serve as a lesson to men who like to marry their daughters and grand daughters mates.
@ademola 8:02......I agree with u. She needs to read ur comment.
From Aesop.
Hello. If i said u shouid pack out I am deceiving u because 95% marriage is like that. Because some men did not understant the meaning of marriage that why there many divocr out there. Some of our woman can not take it from them. My dear take it easy. If u may ask some womem how they manage they home u will find out that they marriage is on fire everyday. Forsake of children u most learn howto love because there is no man on earth that have all the qualite expect God
Chancellor !!!! of which University? lol...i think its counselor....
TRUEST ADVICE - Stay in your marriage. Why? Because you made a commitment. Go on a vacation, relax and clear your head. Also getto know him again, learn to like him as a friend first and hopefully the love will return better than before. Also, don't be so submissive or dumbed out. Work if you wanna work and put your foot down about it. Remember, divorce us a selfish decision that will disrupt your lives and most likely mess up the kids. Love yourself
Now watch some LIBers give advise about marriage! If you aint married or have an inkling idea of it, this isnt where you put down your opinion...Let those who have the experience do the talking ...and hey ...watch and learn!
The lady - Be prayerful and talk to him about these things you feel arent making you happy, hopefully that will work out.
#daveydave
someone said " Devoice am " lmao hahahah .... my belly is so paining.
#daveydave
Divorce!!!
If he doesn't cheat on u, keep on, wif 4 kids, u can't walk outy just like dat
Woman who has slept wit 300 men
For better for worse..... whether u don forget ur vow
What did you have in mind.....are you think about divorce or staying with the kids.....the only advice i can give you now is to endure it because of your kids....if you leave now who will take care of your kids for you....you will just make them suffers....i know how you feel and i understand you....but right now you dont even have any person on your mind.....did you even know what will happen to you if you go....anything can happen.....this days people dont even respect married woman again....you will useless yourself.....please dont leave stay for the sake of the kids.
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My dear jst 4 d sake of ur kids,pls dont change ur mind,luv ur kids.there is no joy out there without those kids.marriage is all about tolerrance n endurance.ma advice 4 is kp away frm ur so called friends dat may be encouraging u to ur family,they didnt worth it to call ur friend.ma dear frm ma own point of view u ve met someone dats very carin now,pls use ur head not ur heart 4 d sake of ur family n try to fix urself something cos ideal man is a devil workshop.
You know it dsn't have to be like that and you know what you have to do if you are terribly unhappy BE BRAVE and DO IT no amount of comments on lib will do it for you its your life and you only have one go at living it. It seems you have the means to take care of yourself and your children,come to an agreement and separate. Focus on fulfilling your life and making yourself and your kids happy.Find love it is not too late you are so young after-all. You dn't need to be together to be loving good parents,all the very best.
I don't know if the lady will see my comment cos i came late. She said mature minds and i can't believe what some people are saying on here. Why will u advice her to get a divorce? She has four kids speaking of which the oldest is 15 do you know how it feels not to grow with both parents? Do u know how it affects those children? And madam you're still young u need to stay strong for those kids 15 yesrs aint 15 days i know its not easy infact ur just saying the litlle u can but please stay strong for those kids. Call ur husband sit him down and talk to him and also pray...u advised against anyone telling you to pray but whether you like it or not u still need God to help u. If someone has a habit and wants to stop making up ur mind alone wont help most times we also need that grace from God to help us else we find ourselves going bk to our vomit. So help ur husband by talking to him, pray for him and ask God to take control cos u can do it on ur own. Wish you all the best.
For the sack of your kids,u a have love n live with him oooo,nothing more nothing less n also pray to God to rekindle your love.what God has joined together...let no man put asunder!
I think you are just feeling like you did not 'enjoy' life and do what your age mates were doing before u got married. DON'T DIVORCE him since his only problem is ego. Try talk to him; try get a business or shop; get a hobby and do watever makes u appy without cheating on him. because, my dear, the grass is not greener on the other side. What about your 4kids? Will he let you take them with u if u divorce? Is there any lover out there who will love a woman who has had 4kids no matter how young or rich she is? Put all these in mind wen u are making a decision...also try to rekindle that love that made u marry him in d first place and 'no dull yaself'. Cheers
This is my first comment on lindaikeji and here it is for you lady. First see the movie fire proof or get yourself busy against his will, but involve your kids. You are disgusted at him because first he took your youth from you, you might not have seen it this way because most denials start subconsciously. You need to get yourself busy with something you love doing. A passion, a pet project, start a business, grow a farm or garden, whatever, just do something asides from being a house. Like you said, money is not a problem.
I didn't say you should rebel against your husband. Talk to him that you will go ahead and get something going for your self.
Another funny option is you will be lucky if he reads this blog, he will see this complaint and all these good advices from people including the bad ones like get a divorce. He will come to understand that it must have bothered you a lot to bare your mind here something you guys could have discussed as friends but obviously you guys aint cos you feel intimidated by the age difference and mountainous ego. Pray or device a way to make him see this blog post
Finally, change things about you, make it drastic, from your disposition, to fashion, to character, poise, if you aint working out, start! Just invite so many changes to your life enough to startle him but that boils down ultimately to my first advice.
Never underestimate God again in your life. I repeat, see the movie fireproof or secondly start something tangible with your time. It will make him have respect for you and you have respect for yourself. It will make him see less of you. (See finish syndrome) men are startled by crazy sexy different new things, men are adventurous and they succumb to enigma or mystery. Work around it.
For more advice. I believe a click on my name will take you to my Google plus page otherwise 08068597140
Hi
I am not married, and don't know what kind of happiness people are expected to find in marriage, but one thing I would like to say is that, I don't subscribe to divorce, its against God's principle, its against God's command, the only time I can advocate for divorce is when there is violence in the marriage, because even the bible says its better for a man to stay under a leaking roof, or at the top of a roof than to stay at home with a nagging wife, its just nagging, to more of violence when your life is involved, that's only when I can advocate for divorce, that said, in your case woman there is no such thing as divorce
One thing we need to understand is that marriage is not all about love, love make some percentage of marriage, but like I said, its not all about love, for love is an unstable emotion, so something as beautiful as marriage which is meant to be for life, should not be built on an unstable emotion, the problem most of us have is that we go into marriage with a lot of expectations, and when those expectations are not met, we become increasingly frustrated
To be married we need, understanding and tolerance, you are in a marriage where you are not being physically abused, you have an equilibrium balance of kids (2 boys and 2 girls), and your husband has some weaknesses such as ego like you mention and you say you don't love him? and you happiness is involved?
True happiness can not be found in marriage or money or success, true happiness is found in God, happiness is hearing the world of God and observing it, you have a wonderful family where you have everything, I wonder the kind of happiness you are looking for, and also its not healthy to bring up children in a broken home
My advice is this, since your husband is not violent, and you have children together, you have to make that marriage work, if you don't love your husband, then you have to love your kids to bring them up in a home with parental care of father and mother, true happiness is found in the world of God and not in loving your husband, so if you love your husband and he dies (may God never allow that happen) will you stop being happy? You have to show tolerance and understanding, and learn to love your husband the way he his, overlook his weaknesses, not all married couples today love themselves, but they stay for one reason or the other, not all successful marriage that have lasted for 50yrs plus were a function of love alone from both parties, ask the elderly ones, and they will tell you, sometimes its either the man don't love the woman or the woman don't love the man, my parents are a living example and they are still together living happily for their happiness is not dependant on that love buth on other valuables like the world of God, their children etc
May God bless you and help you
You can also get this books to read, they will help you "trials of a lasting marriage and also keys to marriage by myles Munroe"
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Poster you got married very young but still marriage is not something you jump in &out of just coz you are not feeling them butterflies anymore. You can only leave if you feel your life is threatened (dead body no dey marry person).What you are experiencing happens to almost all couples at some point. Pls find something doing with your time, you could even go back to school. Re brand your self. Stop depending on your husband for your happiness learn to make yourself happy. Being 33 with 4 kids is certainly not the time to start hustling. Talk to your husband. Try to happy so your kids will also be happy
I can bet with you my dear you av no prblm. What I undrstnd here is u dint involve ursef in youthful exuberant which every normal human being must go tru in life. If u escaped to go tru dat process in ur life, u will definitely miss out.
I bet what brought u guys together was infatuation not love. Now the feelings s dead, u need only understanding to move on.
The whole feelings must av died long ago after he started seeing himself more of a father to u, instead of a husband, friend and companion which is normal at his age but u need u as a young lady of 33 u stl wanna be the talk of town amongst ur friends which u shld av felt as at the time u pumped into marriage.
I can tell u from experience that u still love that man but u just want it fresh and u feel like it starting all over again.
Divorce is not an option bcuz of u do, I give u just 5years, then u would come to realize uv loved him all way long without being noticed. Pls don't think of cheating bcz young guys will only take advantage of u.
Now my advise is simply, kneel and beg him to allow u work, what u need is a day to day activities aside ur marriage and family life. Something else need to occupy ur mind by indulging in buying and selling, with this my dear the luv of ur husband will for sure come back.
U will end up realising the fact that u still love him, u are only suffering from boredom bcuz u are still way to young to be seen as a child to ur husband.
Bonario Naggs
...u hv become a brand within a brand
Ayomide you speak like a child, what has age got to do with what she said. Haven't you seen young couples without love. Another piece of advice, read and understand before dropping a comment.
I beg stay in d marriage ' oko won l'ode ' man re hard 2 find ooo.
Hello madam,
From your story we have three parties and that's you, your children and your husband but we're going to be speaking on you nd your children alone, no business with your husband.
it depends on what you really want but from what I observed it seems you want to have a feel of the enjoyment outside marriage and I think you deserve some but let's look at it from different corners.
your children are still young, a divorce will definitely affect them negatively though that does not stop them from being the president tomorrow.
Think about it, I don't know how you sexy you still look but do you think any man will want you for a wife after 4 kids when you're divorced?
My advice to you is ignore his idea of 'house wife' and get a job, socialize, have man friends, and live your happy life but keep your marriage. I tell you, there is nothing like happiness life is too short.
Sorry to say, bt I think you need to make ur marriage work. If he does nt treat u badly, then I think u shd learn ways to make him b nicer to u, 4 d sake of ur kids @ least dy r enough reason 4 u to make ur family work na abi?
Na U know....
A divorce will not do. There re very few reasons for divorce nd this is not close at all. Madam, I know u re unhappy but u alone re responsible for ur happiness. Why do I hav a feeling dt u fear ur husband? U ve got to sit him down nd mk him understand in strong terms dt u want to get a job. Most women pull through their bad marriages by gettin distracted by their jobs. Involve both families if need be bt maintain ur stance. Ur kids re no longer infants. U re simply bored. Also, start takin gud care of urself, nice clothes, hair, make up, etc. Learn to love urself nd stop livin for ur husband. He wl com arnd wt tim nd learn to appreciate u wen u start appreciating urself. He s verbally abusive cos he got u totally dependent on him. Release urself frm his grip nd u wil b fine. Pls, divorce is nt an option. Else u might end up lonely for d rest of ur life. And then start sleepin arnd, and straight to hell fire wen u die. As for him, u can b replaced wt d snap of a finger
Here is something i do not like, women writing and crying wa wa wa, he won't let me work, he does this, he does that, am tired of this marriage, what should i do? what do u want to hear? that you shld file for divorce? you don't have a job oh. where u go go if he gets angry and throws u out? to ur family, who will rain abuses at u and tell u shld u have been patient? what abt ur children? without work u can't take them with u. even if u could, he will certainly take them back, cos he has the means to and u don't have d financial energy to fight for custody in court or with child welfare dept whose officials can be bought.
woman, look here. ur first point of action is frigging get a job!!!!!!!!! get a job, madam. learn to stand on ur own damn feet. learn to tell him to shut the fuck up and stop disrespecting u. learn to fight ur battles in that house. how many years of marriage, and u still cow for him. are u a learner? are a child? man insults u wen u were 18, u still get him out to be insulting u when u r 34. are u insane? na backbone u no get. u have been subdued, u have been disempowered, u r his slave. U have to free urself from the mental slavery, first and foremost. That is the place to start. Until then, then u can really face the war of divorce. because if u imagine a man like dat will let u walk freely out of his home on ur own terms, u r living in fools paradise
My dear,life itself is not a bed of roses.You are thinking of only one side now ie of moving ahead without him.Think of regretting it when you quit the marriage.Remember,age has nothing to do with it here but it´s just that you want your interest to be acknowledge in your union.There are better ways to do that and God will restore everything.You are matured enough as you feel so but I tell you a woman of 33yrs still make a mistake in choosing a suitor.My dear,I am telling you this out of experience.I think that the best option is to stay for your husband and kids.Do not be tired of praying because that is the key of happiness,love,understanding,etc.Prayer can mold your husband to your desired one.I got married at 17yrs and my husband later went into infidelity life.I stayed and prayed and God restored everything and up till now,he is as loving as ever.My hero,my best friend.He is even more closer to God than me.My dear sis,try that and God almighty will surprise you more.Love ....
Ooolee .ole ni e
When you get outside you will run back
Before you come back your closest friend would have taken your home.
Your eye go clear
Husband plenty .outside ? Ask linda
If the problem were serious i am sure you will be doing something about it rather than seeking advice from a bunch of strangers like us. I dont remember us marrying this man with you. Where we even invited to the wedding? Please behave yourself
Exactly...abeg let her take several seats Jor..even single mother with 1 or 2 kids even hardly find good single men to marry them talk less of a woman with 4kids...look, you really need to think carefully cos u being just 33 and still young does not mean u can still find happiness when u leave your husband of 15y
Madam marriage is for bera for worse, there's no going back in it! So my own advice for u is to manage it cos that's all u can do and then try n take him to marriage counselling okay its gonna change his life a lil bit Thank me later
I advice u get ds book "THE POWER OF A PRAYING WIFE. By Stormie Omartian. Read it and pray each prayer daily believe me things will change. Every woman married n single needs ds book.
depression is a very serious issue as it could lead to suicide or even murder, in your case the joblessness has a big role to play coupled with the time u got married, you probably have dreams and aspirations just as everyone of us But your husband is limiting You, If u have tried severally to talk to him about getting a job and it fell on deaf ears then I suggest a little separation to discover yourself again, u only live once and you deserve to be happy at least some months or a year apart will give u the start you need. Those involving the kids bla bla trust me every kid wants a happy mommy and she can't raise a happy home while unhappy, If her husband can't see how sad she is then He is very selfish.. I don't think this issue has anything to do with love because even people who ain't in love get married n stay married (love grows).
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