My mother is paranoid about me getting married to a man who has four sisters who are divorced, single mothers and financially dependent on him. One currently lives in his house with her daughter. The others don't live with him but they are all on monthly allowance. He is also taking care of all their children. And it's not like he's Dangote. If his phone rings 10 times, 8 times will be from his sisters. Though they are not hostile towards me yet, I hate the fact that they rely on him for everything. What happens when we start having children? And I hate how he worries and focuses on them so much. They are all adults, two of them in their late 30s. My mum thinks his sisters will pose a great threat to our marriage once my fiance's finances start to focus on me and our children. My fiance has however assured me that there will be no problem and he will handle all our affairs well. What am I about to get into? I'm apprehensive
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Thursday, 21 May 2015
Dear LIB readers, Is it wise to marry a man with 4 sisters who are divorcees, single mothers and financially dependent on him?
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«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 290 of 290Your mother is right. Better distance yourself from that situation.
One word, "RUN".
DON'T DO IT! A WORD IS ENOUGH FOR THE WISE.
Listen to ya mama dear. Those divorcees and babymamas will ruin your marriage no matter how much your man loves u. they wlll spoil everything cos they didn't get the WIFE status. They will even turn him against you saying you're "the bad wife chopping all their brother's money".
YOUR MAMA IS RIGHT HONEY.
Babe its dangerous o,if u really wanna marry him, tell him to raise capital for his sis to start biz and rent a small apartment for d 1 staying wit him.. And u av to be ready to pray 4 ur home and 4 wisdom.. They might not be hostile to u now, but d moment u marry their broda and he has responsibilities and cater 4 u nd ur kids 1st, trouble will start o... So pray 4 God's direction and wisdom so u won't end up a single mother too... All is well
Madam Linda abeg dey publish comments on time. Being waiting to see hilarious comments on this topic. It isn't professional u know
Run,Run,Run,Run,Run, Run,Run,Run. How many times did i say Run, i'll say it again Run. Please Run.
He is talking now but when push comes to shove he'll fall. I'm telling you now Run don't come here later to cry. Sorry for sounding harsh but i mean it Run don't get all sentimental and say i love him because when you start to cry I won't listen.
Love from Miami
BE VERY APPREHENSIVE, Ur Mother is right. Kemi
If he is a good man, please hold him very well. beside you don't have to worry about his sisters, instead i will advise you advise him to try and setup his sister, so they can be independent. so when both of you marry, they will not have to depend on you.
Girl u better run four forty oooo. If not na die u dey ooo
It's not advicable
I dnt tink u should marry him
Obey ur conscience on this matter my dear.
Read Genesis 2²⁴ & ull find answer to your question...
Back out now is still early before it becomes too late.Your Mum is an elderly woman and is right in her doubts because you might not see it now but eventually will see it later and then it will be too late to back out. He might be a nice guy though but just back out.
Back out now is still early before it becomes too late.Your Mum is an elderly woman and is right in her doubts because you might not see it now but eventually will see it later and then it will be too late to back out. He might be a nice guy though but just back out.
My dear, run for your life!!!
INDEED, WAIT TILL DEY SAY U MEK DIA BROTHER NOT TO LUK AFTA DEM N WILL WANT DIA BROTHER TO HAVE A FAILED MARRIAGE LYK DEM...TOMJERRYSWIT
i think you are quite silly, and you already know the answer to your question.
I am a single mother and I am ashamed of your man's sisters. Why would they stifle him when they are not helpless. It is not the fact that they are divorcees or single mothers that is the issue. It is the fact that they can not help themselves. They refuse to help themselves so I would say you better get ready to cater for yourself and kids or get ready for them to battle you if their money starts reducing.
I disconcur my dear.
Pray to God over it
Babe please run fast.marriage is no joke oh.Better run away now
No! Don't marry him! Run!!!
Hmmm, it won't be easy unless u have a very very very good job and don't mind shouldering some of his responsibilities in the home.
Mehnnnnn dere is every need 2 be apprehensive ooo. What kind of woman are dey? Na Curse?
Dis is a serious matter. And what does he plan 2 do wit d one living wit him?
My dear dis calls 4 a serious discussion with him. He needs 2 let u into his future plans & how he intends 2 deal with dem. as time goes on, dey wld see u as a threat 2 d goodies dey hv been receiving.
Make dem find handwork do abeg or a business!! Nonsense 100% dependence on ur guy, for how long will dis continue. Do dey want 2 milk him dry!!
Least I 4et, ensure you listen 2 momsi's advice.Besides u are wearing d shoe, u kn wat u cxan condone & wat u cant.
Wish u well!!
Y shld u back out?Go ahead n marry him if he meets oda requirements.
My dear,you better run for your life.I got married to a man is the same shoe......u don't want to live the rest of your life in regret
Y shld u back out?Go ahead n marry him if he meets oda requirements
My dear run as fast as u can for ur own gud ooo , blood is ticker dan water
My dear...you better run. It will not be easy in the future especially if you are not working. Since he is taking care of them now the probability that he will continue is high and it will definitely cause tension in the future when he has to prioritize the NEEDS which will include you and your kids. From experience RUN RUN....i am happy all mine sister in laws are married it wasn't easy at the beginning imagine having to take of their kids too......beside why isn't their Ex husband helping out. Women will always find issues oooo for you own good RUN or STAY BUT KNOW THAT IT WILL NOT CHANGE.
I call dis syptoms of jealosuy, insecurity, and b mother pet if not u wouldn't b apprehensive when he has already assured u dat he wil take care of evrytin.
Wht u r to do is to ensure stability in ur home when married, and never allowed any externality to come in btw ur home including ur inlaws.
So when u get to d bridge d needful changes wil surely take take. Cheers.
No way. All the signs of deep rooted spiritual problems are starring you in the face. Take off if you believe God for your own husband. Proceed if you feel that God can't give you a good husband, or you know in your heart that you don't deserve a good husband based on your personality and life style (past or present).
I will say yes if they will serve you but no if you are going to be serving them.
Flee!! That is BAGGAGE!!!
Really?
U no mind abi?
Go marry the man now
I pray u marry the man self
I agree with your mother o. It will definitely cause wahala in future
DON'T DON'T DON'T DON'T DO IT
Are u for real? Things will change after they are married. Really? It's not compulsory u comment biko.
Na you and linda cook this one up oooo.
L
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Observe
Sleep child
And your story isn't?
On ur own
PLS IF YOU ARE NOT MARGRET TATCHAR DONT TRY IT O...THOSE SISTERS WILL FINISH YOU. THE ONE THAT IS LIVING WITH HIM WILL MAKE YOUR LIFE MISERABLE.. YOU WILL BE FRUSTRATED IF YOU MARRY HIM BCOS HE WILL GIVE HIS SISTERS AND THEIR CHILDREN MORE ATTENTION. AND WHEN HE GIVES YOU MORE ATTENTION THE SISTERS WILL BE JEALOUS AND WILL EVENTUALLY LOOK FOR A WAY TO SEND YOU OUT OF THEIR BROTHER'S HOUSE. PRAY WELL IF YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE IT. LET GOD DIRECT YOU
As if you have another husband for her.. she should run to where? From frying pan to fire? She should better manage the situation
Which pastor? My sister if you want peace in your life, stay away from that family. The sisters will never let you have peace. they will make life miserable for you and make sure you end up like them. What if they are cursed and you have a daughter for him? Have you thought of the implications? Go and find your husband elsewhere.
He should kill his sisters or what... pple like u don't get married.. u think all marriages are bed of roses.. so the man shd remain unmarried bcos his sisters are unfortunate? some Comments here tho, the woman should simply be strong and pray for wisdom
Thank yo jare.. I think the problem is with tthe girl herself not the sisters... she even said they are noyt hostile to her... so wtf is she feeling insecure
Abi o... everyone telling her to run.. run to where now.. when you keep running from challenges, you will always live to face bigger ones
I'm sure you shd be divorced by now if it's that baad... you aare still in his house bitch!
We marry people not expectations...is he God dat assures and dats it. Sm questions ain't worth asking cuz one way or another God has already answered it for us...since u see it as a big deal it's a clear sign for u to move on cuz dere re pple who wont see it dat way. And if u decide u want to marry him give him time to go sort out his family issues...I mean setting his sisters up so dey can take care of demselves,else... I pray u don't become a widow after two kids. The man gan sef wanna die?
God bless you
Stay away from anything to do with divorce! Divorcees are abnornal beings. They'll infect you with their grief.
Run. This happened to someone i know. Resentment from d inlaws grew overtime & exploded. Shes out of her husbands house now cos she cldnt take it anymore. Trust me. Those ones living wt him are not going anywhere. They, or one of their children will live wt u guys. You cant do anything abt it.
Your boyfriend does not love u as much as ur mother & he is not thinking abt u as much as ur mom is. Ur mom is 10000000% correct. Do not bring unnecessary pain to ur life & ur parents please. Pray for another husband . Its worth it to wait. This my friend it happened to was a church girl o & her husband was like a deacon in church. After a while they wld call meetings concerning one of the sisters living in d house & how my friend is rationing food, not taking good care of her, cautioning her on anything - no matter how little. After apologizing for years, one dayit turned into a shouting match cos they even dissed her children. All her husband will forever say is - dont be angry.
You can always tell how a woman will be as a wife when you look at her mother. For one mother to have 4 DIVORCED DAUGHTERS! What???? Dt should tell u d xter of ur inlaws cos its obvious there was some meddling in their marriages for it all to fail. And u expect dt u dt is marrying d golden goose providing for her n her daughters will have a stress free, no pressure, private marriage. Girl are u okay? Why are u even asking questions?
Pple wt 1,2 dependent inlaws sef are having problems, not to talk of this ur matter.
wow, 4 sisters and dey all depend on him. I believe in miracles tho lol, if u do den u will surely handle it
Run!!!
My dear, if your story is true....please, im begging you, kindly RUN with NIKE boot...... the marriage has hit rock before wedding day.......you will be frustrated by the family........ im talking from a live experience...... Even your fiancee who is saying no problem will neglect you and forget that you are existing....please, leave now!!!
O shut up at royal priesthood, what do you know about marriage and being secure. That's hell she is getting into, it's not about the man but the sisters. All eyes will be on you. Anything their brother refuses to do will be ur fault. Nne it's not advisable. Marriage is a different ball game
if you love him and he loves you I don't see why not but damn! be ready for whatever
Pls don't marry him.. run away but please give me his phone number before you delete his contacts
Wicked fin so u advice her to marry him will u advice ur daughter to go in2 such marriage? Husband materia my foot. No Mata anyfin ur wife and kids is d only family u got. Forget sisters nd brodas ohh.
Set up a biz for the sisters and continue going for deliverance to break the jinx of divorce in their family.
I are talking from ur anus. Idiot who told she is not a wife materia. Yes he has d right to take care of his sister but dos he hv to bring den home too. Dats very bad ur wife and kids are the first family u hv so u put den first and don't share ur home wit sisters rent an apartment for dem and ilopen a business for dem. Omoh if u die ur sisters will only come for ur property it is ur wife and kids u hv left.
My dear look at the man u are getting married to and not his sisters. Is he a good man? Does he love you? Do u love him? Love conquers all. Then after that, seek spiritual counsel from a genuine man of God. It is not easy to find a genuine and good husband these days oh. Dont displease yourself to please others. Please yourself first before you please others. For him to even be taking care of his sisters, it shows that he is nice and caring. Some relatives are selfish. But he is not. He is helping his relatives which shows he is a caring and generous man. If he loves u, he will protect you from his family members. Then again, one very important thing is this; is he a born again christian? How far does he know God? One thing u must know is that u cannot expect him to see his sisters suffering and abandon them. If it is you, will u see your brothers and sisters suffering and abandon them? Pls dont miss ur opportunity of get married. From what i can see, he has enough money to take care of his sisters and you plus your children. Dont ever stop a man from helping his family because he will see you and a self centred and selfish person. What if his sisters turn out to be your best friends. And what if their situation is just temporary? What if some of them get jobs and later and some settle with their husbands later?. Seek spiritual counsel with a genuine man of God because the spiritual controls the physical. As long as the man of God is genuine, he will not mislead you. Good luck and God bless
Wow! Ur comment is sad and just reeks of desperation. So if she does have another husband for her, that's the end of the world? And she better manage the situation? Please enlighten yourself and change your mind set. It's not the end of the world if she doesn't marry this guy biko. Marriage is not the end all be all.
From your comments, this story must hit close to home for you. No marriage isn't a bed of roses so all the more reason she shouldn't knowingly enter into a marriage already laden with problems......and yes they will become even bigger problems for them.
He doesn't have to remain unmarried but he needs to take care of his family situation before he brings in another woman into his life. He is a liability right now and will only be setting any wife up for headaches.
And I'm married by the way.
The bible says lean not on your own understanding which means lean on God only. So ask a pastor because all the advise that they are giving you here is from their own understanding which they are leaning on and which the bible says we should not do. Sometimes God uses awkward situations to bless us. What if your husband's business goes down in future and it is one of his sisters that he helped that will help him revive the business? The sister will remember that your husband took care of her when she had nothing and she will go all out to help him. What if one of his sisters settles with her husband and the husband becomes a president in future? Dont look down on the sisters just because they are suffering today because they can be richer than your husband tomorrow. If u are in a position to help anybody, help the person because u dont know tomorrow. If u leave him because of his sisters and marry someone else tomorrow, how are u sure the person will not be worse than him in character. How can u leave a man just because he is taking care of people? What if your husband owns an orphange home? Are u going to run and leave him? I cannot see my sisters suffering and leave them just because i am married. Be wise
Dont lose your husband just because he is helping his sisters oh. You might not see a man as good as him again and you might get to over 40 years before u see a good man again and u will now start regretting. Remove eye from the sisters body and focus on your man. As long as the money is flowing to your side and your children, forget about his siaters. Afterall, u said they are nice to you. They must be very close in their family. You dont know how they grew up and u dont know the bond between them. So dont try to break it because it might backfire. Also check with God. See a pastor. There may be a spiritual curse on that family that is making the girls divorce anyhow.
You should be unless he is a billionaire. ALl those his sisters are worse than 2nd, 3rd and 4th wives.
All u saying run, if she runs and leave d man, who will marry the man? If u keep advising every girl to run away from the man, who go come marry the man na?
I see you write a lotta dumb comments. Comments that reflect your kinda person. Now won't any sensible person know this is quite a red light. I mean, who isn't selfish nowadays?
I dated a guy who was taking care of his whole family because he was the bread winner. He was even taking care of his elder brother too. But this guy was very nice. He owned a small oil servicing company and was very rich. I later travelled out and we lost contact. But i would have married him because he was just too nice. The whole family loved me and they were not a problem to me at all. Infact we were like brothers and sisters. I even use to help them talk to their brother to assist them with things. We will all plan it together and their brother will fall for it and agree. Lesson; Instead of already waging war against his sisters, why not make them your friends. U dont know tomorrow
I dont think its fake,I guess †he same poster posted on Motherhood in facebook. I read and didnt comment cox I was speechless.
#Hajia Mufliat#
DON'T DO IT. YOU WILLLLL REGRET IT. Even if he's dangle it will still cause problems. Listen to your mum, she has good reason to be worried
My sister uve 2 run my dear
RUN!!!!!!!
My current musician of the moment, Badoo!!! Will kai kai kai kai! Don't do it! Don't do it!
Yes ooo...Best advise..
Smallie its possible!!!! For looking as unflattering as you do, you are spared.
(y) nice one 👍👍👍@chidinma
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All u foolish men advising her to marry him God punish una thunder fire una mouth wicked men dat sees women as slaves.
God punish u. U too ufodu umu nwoke useless thing. U are not even experienced Abi u no dey watch nija film? ur sister and wife and kids who is more impotant to u. Dos sisters of urs are der for wat u hv let me tell u. Y den bring dem home and giv dem d opportunity to make trouble in ur home. Idiot Uche u no get.
Don't trust him.... pleaseeeeeeeeee listen to ur mum, she is very right...
Your mom is right. Everyone else is the comments section is right. Don't do it.
Eleyi gidi gan
No, it's not wise. You will regret it. Speaking from experience.
Onyi. What's with you and all these Ur comments lately?? U trying to get ppl to hate u or u trying to get noticed or u going through a phase? Whichever it is, biko reduce it. Mmhm?
is true ooooo, run, run, run
is true ooooo, run, run, run
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