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Wednesday 10 September 2014

Dear LIB readers; I feel so bad for slapping my wife this morning

From a male LIB reader
Something that has never happened to me happened this morning. I dated my wife for several years before getting married to her sometime last year. I am temperamental but patient but I have always been able to control my temper when dealing with my wife and I rather walk away or go hang out with friends or have a drink and sleep it off, but today it went beyond limit. My wife can insult Jesus Christ and Jesus Christ will slap her.
Last week I happened to throw some of my clothes in the washing machine with very few of her clothes that she said were in there earlier which I didn't take note and after her arrival from work, the next thing she could say was that I don't have a brain and that is why I could do that. Continue
I hate insults and my wife is the type that does not make her point without insults. I  was very angry and cautioned her not to speak with me in that manner again but she kept repeating it and I told her that the day she will talk to me like this and my brain receives it wrongly then she will hate herself.
Just this morning it happened again. We were both in the kitchen and we were both about preparing food, apparently she said I shouldn't do something and I told her that its not a big deal if I did it and if I don't see the wrong in it then I won't be able to handle the same incident when it happens again. Then she flew up again saying that I am brainless and I told her to stop it but she continued by saying I have the common sense and its because she has uncommon sense is why she can always detect me being brainless.Yet again I gave my warning to her that she should stop saying such and there will be a day when it will fall on my wrong side. She continued saying I am harmless and I should do my worst. She even dared me into doing anything. She said it several times and I got angry and pulled her shirt to warn her. Then she triggered and started roughing me then I slapped her and she slapped me a few times and I gave her one more and pushed her off.
Firstly this is not my character. For me to even fight with a male friend physically, it takes a whole lot, and I can count how many male friends I have had to fight while growing up on just one hand. I actually feel bad for hitting her even though I know the slap is not the normal slap I can give. There was emotions in slapping her but I wanted to prove a point to her that I chose not to ever hit a woman and its not something I can't do. I am writing this because I feel so bad. Do you think I went beyond lines by slapping her? How do I make up for it?

560 comments:

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Anonymous said...

This morning? Chai! You for just waka nah. You dey annual leave? This thing na see finish syndrome oh!! I hear say some women dey like beating and na only slap you slap,Mtchewww. You must pay heavily for this sha. No sex or option of fine! Give am 2M naira.#youdonthatbrain

Anonymous said...

Uhmmmm!ds one na drama o..ur were wrong 2 av slapped her..u shld av jst ignored her lik u'v alwys done...women can b reli annoyin' n provocative..its our nature bt a good woman knws whn 2 stop n draw d line..unfortunately ur wife doesn't..can't say u shld apologise 2 her bt ensure it doesn't hapn eva again.

Anonymous said...

You married an abusive wife sir, and you are in for a loooooong history of violence in your home. You need to start learning hiw to remove yourself from volatile situation in your home without losing yourself.

Anonymous said...

where is TMZ when you need them lol. But seriously there is no grounds for hitting a woman. Except you feel your life is in danger.If she has given you any hint of what she wants in the past this is the time to get it for her. She wont take it right away just know that now so prepare to leave your pride outside and BEG!!!

Anonymous said...

You have already prooven that you are brainless by slapping her.You will continue to regret your action even if she later forgives you.

Liflblog.wordpress.com said...

Never ever hit a woman,its d coward 's way out of running from one's problem. Pls visit my blog liflblog.wordpress.com

Anonymous said...

This morning? Chai! You for just waka nah. You dey annual leave? This thing na see finish syndrome oh!! I hear say somewomendey like beating and na only slap you slap,Mtchewww. You must pay heavily for this sha. No sex or option of fine! Give am 2M naira.#youdonthathhavebrain

Unknown said...

In as much as i dont encourage women being abused in anyway, but truth be told, some women abuse men than we can imagine. some even deserve some corrective surgeries to reset their brains. but bros, next time just walk away, or better still avoid her food for some days, stay away in any way as possible. abeg no slap am again cos i know by now she knows better not to dare u next time. pls settle it amicably.

Anonymous said...

They keep saying it's wrong to hit a woman, yet some of them behave like animals so they should be flogged like cattles then.

Anonymous said...

Good thing you slapped her. That'd get her thinking

Anonymous said...

if a child misbehave, he will be flocked as correction that was exactly want you did..she acted as a kid so must be corrected.

Anonymous said...

You talk like a typical abuser-trying to blame your wife(victim) for your actions.well,we aint gonna pull any Rice scenario on you,in case of next provocation(which am sure will happen),pls walk away for sometime,let frayed nerves cool,then communicate with her...most importantly,dont allow her anger over this slap to last more dan a day,apologise to her ASAP,dont stretch it....feeling guilty is usually the next step after abuse...please,dont make it a trend,please...just stop here...goodluck.

NaNcY DreW said...

Lol @ my wife can insult Jesus christ and Jesus christ ll slap her. I totally get u sir some ll can really push it and mostly dats deir weak point. Don't worry which eva way u apologies she ll come around u just sit her down and talk 2 her abt "controlling" her tongue

Oby said...

My brother, I am a married woman and I'm sorry to say that ur wife is very stupid and deserved that slap! You can kiss and make up but believe me when I say that you are living with a woman who can't make you happy and sooner or later, you might need to take a walk. It's not only men that are capable of domestic abuse, some women are abusive too and this is one case. Don't beat urself up about it, but try and apologize to her and follow it up with a serious warning. If it happens again, move out for her for a while and see if she regains some real sense or not. I rest my case.

Anonymous said...

get a heart to heart talk to her at a goood time.....ask God to always help control your anger now that u know the kind of wife u married...

Mariam said...

You were both wrong. But at the same time, never hit a woman. You should have left the house like you always do. The deed has been done. Get back home and apologize, settle your grievances.

Anonymous said...

You've married that fool knowing she is disrespectful. Now you have to deal with that side of her BUT out of violence please!
she hurts your feelings i understand,but don't act like an animal that you are not.

Anonymous said...

linda don't chop my comment a beg !

Anonymous said...

She will become herself now and realize that your other side can come out when she goes too extreme. It is good you try to control your temperament by applying your patience, leaving the house when disagreements start and also going to bed to avoid it. However, it is because your calmness has become the norm that is why she takes advantage of it. She will feel very hurt today and surprised, but this has also proven to her to back out and avoid confronting you too much. Very sorry about what happened today. You can still on track by feeling the guilt of slapping her. But do not blame yourself now for the action taken as it has already happened. Look for the way forward. It must be settled between you two only....not with a number three.

Anonymous said...

My nigga...you both need to sit down and sort your shit out. You need counseling mehn!!! About the slap...she deserved it but y'all should get a marriage counselor last last. In my opinion you let it get this far,cause it's obvious you've bin having the problem for awhile and just ignored it.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry to say this but it seems u married a hag. A wife should never ever call her hubby names no matter how annoying he may be. A wise woman prospers her home but a foolish woman burns it down. Apologise for hitting her but u shud let her know your boundaries.

UJUNWA said...

YOU DID NOTHING WRONG. WHAT YOU DID WAS TO RESTORE HER BACK TO HER DEFAULT SETTING THOUGH USE OF MANUAL OVERRIDE MECHANISM WHICH IS SLAP.NOBODY IS ABOVE MANUAL RESET. IT DOES HAPPEN ONCE IN A WHILE BUT PLEASE DON'T MAKE IT A PERMANENT FEATURE IN YOUR MARRIAGE.
NO SANE MAN WOULD WANT TO HIT HIS WIFE WITHOUT SOMETHING WARRANTING IT. WOMEN NOWADAYS ARE FOND OF OVER RUNNING THEIR MOUTHS WITH THE HOPE THAT MEN WOULD ALWAYS JUST WALK AWAY. HOW LONG SHALL MEN CONTINUE TO WALK AWAY IN SITUATIONS LIKE THAT?

Naijarian said...

Some women are devils that can push and push till you do what you ordinarily would not... But the best is to always walk away if she gets on your wrong side. Leave her for 1 week and if she's unrepentant, just leave her. No need living with someone that makes your blood boil all the time..

Naijarian said...

Some women are devils that can push and push till you do what you ordinarily would not... But the best is to always walk away if she gets on your wrong side. Leave her for 1 week and if she's unrepentant, just leave her. No need living with someone that makes your blood boil all the time..

Anonymous said...

Dude, u av to apologize. Hopefully he takes ur apology. Cos if my man slaps me. That's d end.

Anonymous said...

Slap and slap and slap again.. Your wife is a horrible woman. How can you insult your husband to that level. chai, na wa for some women...

Unknown said...

Lol wow this sounds like a tom and jerry situation,I couldn't help but laugh,ok back to the scene,#1 I admire your patience,#2 your wife doesn't respect you and when a woman don't respect a man anymore it means she stop caring,"I have the common sense and its because she has uncommon sense is why she can always detect me being brainless" wow what woman says that to her husband??? She has always thought you were a pussy that why she can lash out,throw insults at you cause she knows you can't do none...you don't need to regret your action,as from this moment I'm sure she won't disrespect you anymore cause you just proved to her that you not a pussy! Someone women love to provoke men so they could see what he's capable of.

Anonymous said...

U needed to drive home a point and u did just make sure it doesn't happen again but a woman should never insult her man that's not good before u know it the little ones will grow up.seeing nothing wrong with it next time make the slap 5 yeye woman

Anonymous said...

No be slap nah. Anyway u are a man u should knw hw to beg her.... Topzyus@yahoo.com

Franklin Okere said...

1. You were wrong for hitting her, clearly your wife has issues and should be taught a lesson but striking her isnt the best way to go about it. There are other ways of handling her, from your statement you already identify with this attitude and it is nothing new to you.

You have been putting up with this in the past, why change your tolerance level now. Kindly make out time to approach her and apologize because two wrongs do not make a right. after you have made peace try and express your annoyance towards her insulting you during arguments. Now find a peaceful method of correcting or punishing her when she attempts this again.

Anonymous said...

it cud have been a lie you have been living in if You didn't hit her....it a Gud thing u did what you did
.

Nenny said...

U don't av to feel bad,z very wrong for a woman to insult a man,if u dint slap her more insults awaits u bt I tink 2day shld prove a point to her

psalm said...

Hitting a woman generally is bad..buh your wife is a nagging woman..(you can read what the bible says about that)...i think you should have removed the emotion in the slap...that would have restore to her default settings..she would be like the lady you just asked out, so loving..non-nagging kind...The slap was needed...if it where to be mine, she won't be able to talk not to talk of her lifting her hands

prettysilvia said...

I can understand you getting to d point of slapping ur wife and u feel bad afta shows its not in ur character. And when she gets to d point of slappin u,she broke d rule first.but no matter wat I still believe dat no one shuld result to violence to settle a conflict. Especially couples.let tyns calm down MD apologise to ur wife and u guys shuld sit and talk like adults.insult and disrespect have no place in a marriage. Wish u luck.

psalm said...

Hitting a woman generally is bad..buh your wife is a nagging woman..(you can read what the bible says about that)...i think you should have removed the emotion in the slap...that would have restore to her default settings..she would be like the lady you just asked out, so loving..non-nagging kind...The slap was needed...if it where to be mine, she won't be able to talk not to talk of her lifting her hands

Unknown said...

It wasn't intentional and u should't bite urself for it. I am a woman and I know wat we can say with our mouth. For me, this will teach her to respect u, since she feels u harmless, but during dating her years back, u must v seen these treats and waved it aside instead of tackling it and take ur stand as d man. Now, u r forced to deal with it. I feel u should sit her down and ask her y she says those things to u and if she will like it if her younger broda or sis tells her d same thing, or how she will feel if u tell her d same thing. Please,try talk to her heart to heart but pls watch her mood when u abut to do dis. And you both can then apologize to each other. Do not wait for to be the 1st, show her you love her.
If after doing this on 3 or more occasion and she doesn't stop, then its tym to see her parents.

Unknown said...

Yes its wrong to hit a lady or ur wife, but wen its seems there is so much dis-respect and taking u for a limp, then if it comes out of u to her, to me its all fine cos she deserved it to make her comport herself...... Linda u sef know wats up too nah...

Unknown said...

Mmmmm...she really went beyond limits and deserves that slap. Though it isnt right to hit a lady but sometimes in certain cases, it might just be the only option to put things right and make a point. However, next time it would be better u just walk out of that place, at most, shout on her, DONT HIT!

Anonymous said...

you should have flogged her.what sort of woman does that to a man.you get husband dey do anyhow.no be im fault.CONNIE

Olubukola Ozone said...

Its actually not normal for to talk to u like dat. U are her husband and she shuld respect dat fact. But u shuld av kept dealing wit her d way u used to, with patience. U shuldnt av slapd her. I guess u two have som apologies to render to eachother, starting from you

Kaka said...

I'm a woman and I don't support domestic abuse physical, mental, emotional or otherwise in anyway. Physical abuse is not only the type of abuse, ur wife have been emotionally and mentally abusing u which is not right, I won't judge what I don't know but to be honest tell any human being man or woman, children even is not right and should not be allowed in society. Maybe ur wife should go to a theraphy cos i dont see why a learned woman would talk that way.As for slapping her human can be pushed to a point of no return so I guessed u were pushed to that point but there shld no reason why anybody man or woman shld raise hand on another human

Unknown said...

some women are evil but you ought to have tested her limit before you marry her

Nana Mai Kudi said...

i won't pretend to be an expert on this issue and i won't judge but i think you and your wife need to sit down and have a serious conversation, there is no need repeating how its not right for you to hit her because you already know.

if you intend to be in this marriage for a lifetime, you both need to make it work, set out simple rules( it has worked for me and my husband) rules such as 1. agree never ever to insult each other ( no name calling regardless of the situation) its okay to argue but never reduce yourselves to insulting each other or family members. 2. set boundaries such as agreeing never to let an argument go on for more than a day or two, 3. communicate in love and respect, agree to always pray together all the time even before settling an issue and finally call her, take out time, settle this matter now before the devil messes you both up.

Anonymous said...

U did not do any wrong by slapping her because ur wife has taken more than she can chew

Unknown said...

my dear wit wat u hav said u did not do bad at least she should hav a little respect 4 u na, ha! her own is too much u could hav biting a living dat light out of her so dat she ll kn dat u r a man and not her toil.

Anonymous said...

your wife is rude and needed to be cautioned. you can apologise for hitting her but she needs to change. a man remains a man, he is your head, you must give him that respect as the bible rightly directs us to. it may not be easy sometimes, but you win more battles when you keep quiet instead of shouting and being rude.

Unknown said...

You nor well for feeling bad.Person you go give 5 instant slap in 3 secs. Girls like your wife needs constant panel beating to put them in shape?


Every one blames Ray Rice but they fail to look at what the lady in question did.

Its good to beat women but to a reasonable extent. #moderation is the key#

Anonymous said...

I dont think you went too far. If i'm the one in your situation i swear na smackdown i go give her.

Amelia Thermopolis said...

You can make it up to her by going for counselling because it sounds like you guys have things you need to work on.

Amaka said...

Women we can so push our husbands/partners into doing something that even d men don't know they r capable of doing. Oga poster d lord is ur strength, no matter d provocation, hold ursef n walk away. When ur anger n hers simmers down u sit her down talk to her n chip in warnings by cautioning her.

Anonymous said...

Asshole! You hit your wife, now you are asking if you went too far. Mchewwww

Anonymous said...

Asshole! You hit your wife, now you are asking if you went too far. Mchewwww

Anonymous said...

U should have slapped her even more!!! What is wrong with we women? Every one of us pray to God to give us the best loving man on earth nd wen we get him we start insulting him. Ladies! Women! Ask ur self questions sometimes before u act, dis men re our babies give them de best u can nd trust me he will always be around you.

Anonymous said...

We women and our mouth I can see u were really pushed not like u are justified o, just buy her a gift go down on ur kneel and apologise to her.

Unknown said...

you dont have to blame yourself, she caused it, who knows she might have been thinking to herself that you are a weakling and wants some action {some women do}. She has to learn to control her tongue 'cos there's power in the tongue, even a power that can push a man to slap......

Anonymous said...

Guy stop flogging a dead horse. You slapped her because she deserved it. You dont have ti feel to bad about yourself. You feel this way because you are a reasonable person. I dont know why your wife will provoke the hell and life out of you and when you loose it society calls you all manner of name. Why didnt she play her role to help you preserve your sanity and decency? Is she not suppose to be your help. Even the bible says if you do anyhow you see anyhow. So if your wife does not like the slaps she will do well to aviod it next time. But this is not saying that the guys have to become bully. As far as I am concern there are some beating that is worth it but should not be taken as far as inflicting physical injury. OYA HYPOCRITES ABD PRETENDERS OVER TO YOU GO AHEAD A ND BASH ME.

Anonymous said...

The fact that you are remorseful shows you r a genuinely good man...but oga DO NOT TRY IT EVER AGAIN!!! What makes you a real man is your ability to look for trouble...we women know how to provoke even an angel just ignore or better still 'just say yes ma'to everytin she says even though u wld still do wats on your mind... What if she stabbed you in anger after slapping her? you would not only be dead but also ruin her life....please learn self control biko-its key to surviving in marriage!

horluwatosyne said...

Just apologize sir,we can b frustrating atyms....control ur self nxt tym

Anonymous said...

well, hitting a woman is not a gud thing but den it's commendable dat u feel bad abt it. however i would advice u try n make it up to her. she's ur wife n only u knows d right way to do dat ...peace!!

Bolateetoh said...

From d look of things, dat woman no try at all!hw can u call d head of ur home a brainless man? She deserve what she got.

Anonymous said...

First, slapping her is not when u went beyond, u went beyond when u threatened to slap her. You are in fact an abusive husband. Only an abusive husband leaves violence as an option on the table. Whenever she upset you, u let her know ur fist will do the answering. Apologize to ur wife and seek help for urself. Talk to a man who treats his wife well or go to counseling. Ur wife will likely forgive...afterall u're in naija where women ten to forgive such thgs. U'll have frds or pple who will tell u they too wld have reacted like that. Stop being frds with such pple. Hitting a woman brings u low. Congrats u've joined the ray rice's of the world

jnr4 said...

U were ryt mu brother. Spare the rod and spoil the child

Anonymous said...

You both have temper issues. She loves to insult, you can't take insults for too long. Please consider the scenario critically. Will you live the rest of your lives insulting one another? You both should take a chill or leave the marriage for someone more compatible - danii evan

Unknown said...

simply apology should be good...and u probably get her her favorite gift.

Anonymous said...

No woman should insult her husband! its all kinds of wrong! that Being said, your slap was premeditated. you were planning to show her someday and u eventually did. Always remove urself from a situation when you feel your anger and control slipping. Take her out or a date and you express how she makes you feel when she abuses you, she you guys are outside, chances are she would behave and not cause a scene, and give her an opportunity to hear you out.

Anonymous said...

I do not think you beat yourself up soo much about it. yeah, you should have walked away but then again , some people deserve to be slapped. and trust me when i say she really did deserve it (thats if your story is actually what happened). when everything has cooled off, apologise to her, do something nice for her, take her out, buy her smething nice, tell her you love her and that you are always hurt by her words.. am sure she has gotten the memo that says u arent all talks.. I pray if works out well for you guys

Janelicious said...

Hian!
We ladies can nag for Africa. But oga poster abeg no slap her again ooo,before before you kill her out of anger.

Anonymous said...

Ur wife does not respect u,its bad 2 hit a woman but maybe u have 2 change somtins at home 2 make her respect u more.apologise and have a long talk wit her.gud luck.

joy said...

make a sincere promise you will never be caught doing that again in fact write it out and sign and she signs laminate and put somewhr glaring in your bedroom den give her a nice treat

Anonymous said...

I FEEL YOU DUDE....... you should still have kept your cool and walk away.We women shaaaaa.........smh

Nne said...

There is more to dis than you ve said, who pays d major bills in ur marriage? Do u cook ur own meal, washing ur cloths shouldn't bring issues..i think ur wife has personal problems & is dragging u into it, hitting her won't solve it.. try to talk!

Anonymous said...

Marriage palava...hw r d single ones encouraged to enter.....mr just get home n watch madame reaction to u. but b sure u r a good provider o.....cos sm times money matter dey mk women vex

Anonymous said...

damn it you slapped her!!! when she slapped you you should have left her alone since you said your the patient type! !! should have avoided her soul for like tree days women love company

Anonymous said...

u did the right thing, it will make her respect u and also feel bad about the way she has been talking to u. u feeling bad is normal, husbands and wives do have though times. juts take it easy.

Anonymous said...

First, I knw u wil say she askd for it but dat waz nt d right call. I wil advise u apologise to her nd u guys shud talk it over. I v a questn thou, did u nt c dis part of her b4 u married her? A tempermental person lik u shud not v married sm1 who pushes him to d brink. Best of luck in ur marriage

Anonymous said...

Pls wen u get home today. Pls kindly slap her again. She is d brainless person for talking to any 1 like that.

Anonymous said...

u did the right thing, it will make her respect u and also feel bad about the way she has been talking to u. u feeling bad is normal, husbands and wives do have though times. juts take it easy.

Anonymous said...

She deserved it. By the way am a woman. Don't do it again and hopefully she learnt a lesson on how to respect ones husband. Good luck

Qribes said...

This is not funny but I can't help laughing. You should talk to her and see if she listens.

Anonymous said...

she deserves it, but on the other hand, i sympathize with you bcos she will keep provoking you till you break again. pls find other non-physical means of showing displeasure.

Joshtushem said...

Its not right to hit a woman no matter the provocation, though sometimes it might seem like the only way out. In your case, i wont fault you because she was literally begging for it. Still, I think you should have just removed yourself from that situation and totally ignored her for a while. Give her the silent treatment, if she's smart enough she will realize her errors and apologize.
Plus, i suspect there's something going on with her deep down which you might be the cause of. It might be whats pushing her to violence and all the drama, alternatively you could sit her down or try to investigate the source of the pent up emotions that is manifesting itself in the form of her being insulting. #myown2kobo

Anonymous said...

Kai man!! U dnt ve to make it up wit her. Am a woman though, bt dat ur wife lacks manners ad respect. Dis will make her fear u ad knw wat u can do.

Anonymous said...

u did the right thing, it will make her respect u and also feel bad about the way she has been talking to u. u feeling bad is normal, husbands and wives do have though times. juts take it easy.

Chi nwa mbaise said...

She deserves it. Women can be annoying sometimes, I'm a woman and I control my mouth sometimes. I play and joke with my husband and I know when to stop.

Anonymous said...

Guy, your wife is abusive!
I can understand how you were pushed to the wall but even though i'm tempted to say you should'nt have hit her, i feel she had it coming. Thank God you stopped when you did.
Don't get me wrong, i'm all for "a man should never hit a woman" ish, but what happens when a woman is just provoking a man unnecessarily regularly?
Biko women (some), learn to respect yourselves na, why use such insultive language? most men have monumental egos and continuosly insulting such men can test their patience.
Please have a serious talk with your wife on how she speaks to you and practise walking away from a bad situation.
Your case is sad sha

Anonymous said...

Guy chill abeg, women with sharp mouths need 2b taught a lesson once in a while. Maybe wen next her mouth itches n she rmbrs dat slap she'll hold back. Relax n stop beatin urself up, she had it comin

Anonymous said...

Kindly apologise to her and diplomatically let her know her wrongs. Also ensure you dont try that again. Remember they have vocal and emotional powers. You can give her a treat for your actions. Show some love brother.

Anonymous said...

You went way off by hitting her. Haven't you heard of premenstrual syndrome? You are the man and should be able to hold yourself or walk away if you need to. She was wrong to continue the insults but that doesn't give you a legitimate reason to get physical. Do you want her to shake and shudder in fear at the thought of you? You should be a model for your wife and future kids to look up to. Your marriage is still young and there'd be plenty more times for flare ups especially when she's pregnant. It's difficult but she's your woman so treat her right. Oya quick quick go and order at least a dozen roses to be delivered to her office today before the close of work. Include a handwriiten apology and tell her that if she feels like it, you'd like to make it up to her with dinner tonight.

Kacy said...

My brother, inasmuch as i do not support domestic violence, it takes the grace of God to refrain from doing it. Truth is, some ladies need very HOT army-kind-of slaps to auto-reset their brains. D fact dat u feel guilty n remorseful shows that u're not that kinda man. Jst apologize n move on. Pele

Anonymous said...

u did the right thing, it will make her respect u and also feel bad about the way she has been talking to u. u , husbands and wives do have though times. juts take it easy

Unknown said...

Women can be abusive most times buh I actually liked the slap atleast to talk sense into her.she will come around.
Face of lib

Anonymous said...

You have erred. But you've shown how remorseful you are. You also sound like one whose wife earns more than, or as if u don't work at all. Just call her and make up with her.

Anonymous said...

Frm ur story here she is d type dat decide to hear by d hard way so datz nt too bad if she culd say all dis to u, I bliv she hv learnt nd wuld be more sensible nxt time. Call d strike off by doing dat oda tin u knw hw to do best #w*nk# lolz
Ursulasdiary@yahoo.com

Anonymous said...

Ur wife don't even ve respEct sef see her mouth but wait o all those several yrs u were dating-fucking her didn't u notice dz? Stupid goat u call a wife..if she's reading dz here's An advice 4 her"Aunty,give A mAn a house load wt love & give him a box of respect d man ll rusH4 respect" Get thAt???

Anonymous said...

There's nothing to feel bad about. You're just too cool for her liking. Women like this hate cool guys, they love guys that can be rough with them most times. They want guys that can beat the hell out them and have crazy make up sex with them. I guess she wants to see the rough guy in you. Yes I said it! She wants to see the 'man' in you. She wants to feel that there is a man beside her and not a 'vegetable'. She is tired of the so-much warmth (peace), she wants it cold. You can be more assertive and still instil calmness in her without hitting her. I guess even when u always warn her you sounded like a small girl warning her peer. Be assertive. Take some stand. Let her see the man in u every time, don't be sheepish Mr man.

Anonymous said...

First of all, it is wrong for you to beat/slap a woman and vis visa. BUT if the story is anything to go by, I think you are a patient person. But the again, the question is, didn't you see element of all this things in her for the period you dated her? I'm sure you did but decided to close your eye to the truth for whatever reason. So, the ball is in your court. Since, you have alaways being patient and tolerant, then endure and pray she changes because it is not healthy for you to be in an abusive marriage. Instead of hiding away from the truth, face it. If you want your marriage to work. For what to do for slapping her. Apologise wisely and she has to do same but she if doesn't don't be mad. Pray to God for wisdom.

Anonymous said...

Hey. I do understand perfectly well what you are going through and encourage your strength. I would like to say here there is NO EXCUSE for hitting a woman. I had a similar situation this morning where I unleashed my anger out on our bed side table and felt so disgusted with myself for allowing myself to be dragged that low. I made a vow and continue to remind myself of it that I would not allow anyone desecrate my character. No one. and that is what I constantly remind myself of when I am in such situations as it must not be heard that I laid a hand on a woman.
However, in your situation, I would encourage you as it is clear your intentions are not to fall into such a questionable situation and that is what you should hold on to and not compromise on. Judging your character and intentions, You are not a bad person. Everyone succumbs to temptations. As long as it is not in your character. Hold firm to your principles as a Man and avoid situations that would provoke you.

Anonymous said...

awwwww, u sound so cute. But no matter what, u should not ve hit her.

Unknown said...

On a more serious note is not a good thing to Hit a woman,But it really shows that your Wife Purposely Pushed you to the limited,she Just wanted to know your Anger Limit,Now the deal as been done.When she get home Beg he, and please dont let it repeat itself.because na somewhere he dey start oooo

Anonymous said...

Wise words from a fellow married man....

If all you said was true and nothing but the truth.....

1. Do not...I repeat....do not make up for it.

This is coming from a man who has never hit my wife...and dnt intend to. That is because we both agreed never to call each other names or result toninsult irrespective of any reason.

If you make up for it. She will feel justified....that she was right and you were wrong and she will repeat the same again.

If I was in your shoes....I would call her and tell her never to try what she did ever again. And make sure you dont apologise....

But whatever you do...do not....I repeat...do not hit your wife again. No matter what she does. Even if you catch her with another man.

Instead...give d silent treatment. Hold it for weeks...

Dont ask for sex. If you feel horny...masturbate instead.

.trust me...she will be the one coming back to beg.

I know many women and young guys who have never been married will insult me based on what I have just told you.

But know its coming from a brother whonis married just like you and has experience.

My advice....take it!

Anonymous said...

Hey. I do understand perfectly well what you are going through and encourage your strength. I would like to say here there is NO EXCUSE for hitting a woman. I had a similar situation this morning where I unleashed my anger out on our bed side table and felt so disgusted with myself for allowing myself to be dragged that low. I made a vow and continue to remind myself of it that I would not allow anyone desecrate my character. No one. and that is what I constantly remind myself of when I am in such situations as it must not be heard that I laid a hand on a woman.
However, in your situation, I would encourage you as it is clear your intentions are not to fall into such a questionable situation and that is what you should hold on to and not compromise on. Judging your character and intentions, You are not a bad person. Everyone succumbs to temptations. As long as it is not in your character. Hold firm to your principles as a Man and avoid situations that would provoke you.

Anonymous said...

U ruSh 2d office 2give ur boss respect answering him Sir Sir sir yet ur husband father of ur kids means nothing2 u make Ogun rape yA life

Anonymous said...

I have always beleived that some women are often the authors of their own home troubles. Going by your account of the incident, i am personally convinced that you were over pushed into hitting her and she got what she deserved. Apparently she must have been taking you for granted, so it is good you reacted differently this time so as to drive home the point that the gentle strides of a tiger should never be mistaken as a sign of cowardice. As for how to make it up? Make no mistake - nothing works better than a sizzling sex at an unsual spot. Goodluck bro.

Anonymous said...

Hmmmm,if I say its ok libers will chop me raw but really women deserves slaps.I am a woman and I have received two slaps from my hubby bcos of my sharp mouth so I learnt to caution d mouth.I made him feel so bad for wks after dat slap.Apologise to her!

Anonymous said...

Talk to her tell her what you wrote above, apologise and she will understand. Then to make it up to her have a very hot makeup

Anonymous said...

U slapped ur wife? Gosh! If na me i go scatter ur life, I will make sure I spoilt and destroy all u have worked for, make sure u apologise in a very serious way and swear never 2 hit her..

Unknown said...

I feel u man.....later these stupid girls will say a guy should never lay his hands on a woman, really a lady should learn to tame her tongue, you don't just open your mouth anyhow, come on

Anonymous said...

This is what happens when a foolish woman finds a husband who loves her more than she does him. Rather than wield the power to build her man and her home, she foolishly does this. Sorry, I know this is your wife and you truly love her, but she has acted foolish.

Your heart is in the right place. Nevertheless, never, ever let anyone provoke you like this and get the pleasure of seeing you fall. Like you wisely did in the past, simply Walk Away! Make yourself scarce. They most often than not then realize 'you don't know what you have till it's gone.'

Apologize. She will do serious strong head. Still apologize. Don't say "you made me do it". No., she didn't. YOU it was who lost self control. Apologize and don't stop till she breaks.

On another note, for her to be acting like this, I sense she's crying out over some other unresolved issue you guys might have. Find out what that is, check it out and resolve, otherwise it will continue to surface.

All the best, and be good.

Anonymous said...

She deserves more.
Elenu razor.

Anonymous said...

Lol am so happy that you shorted her up with a slap. Some women don't know their boundaries,next time she will think twice.

Anonymous said...

WELL, IVE ALWAYS MAINTAINED THAT A MAN SHOULD NOT HIT A WOMAN. I HAVE A VERY GOOD IDEA OF WHAT KIND OF WOMAN YOUR WIFE IS COS MINE'S LIKE DAT. FOR U TO LEAVE WITH UR WIFE PEACEFULY IT WILL MEAN U HAVE TO EITHER TAKE OR IGNORE THE INSULT, EVEN IF SHE DOES IT IN PUBLIC, OR U FILE FOR DIVORCE. ITS WRONG TO HIT UR WIFE, NO MATTER HOW MUCH SHE INSULTS YOU, I KNOW ITS EASIER SAID THAN DONE, BUT BEATING HER WILL ONLY MAKE U FEEL BAD AFTERWARDS, AND MAY NOT EVEN STOP HER FROM INSULTING U ANOTHER TIME. SOME PPLE WOULD SAY SOME WOMEN DESERVE TO BE BEATEN, BUT ASK URSELF WHAT IF SHE DIES IN THE PROCESS.

Daily diet tv said...

Lol women and their mouth.


























































~BADOO OF COVENTRY

Anonymous said...

Oh, forgot to add, after apologizing till she breaks, initiate some mind blowing, good, make-up sex.
You do her good, her strong head should thaw considerably.

Anonymous said...

U should not av slapped her no matter the insult. Now u av labeled urself a woman beater. apologize!

Anonymous said...

U should not av slapped her no matter the insult. Now u av labeled urself a woman beater. apologize!

Linda Ikejis' boo said...

Mr provoked aggressor, I feel your narrative. i recently had this convo with some close friends. we were discussing a friend who had done what you did. he was the last person we imagined could do such. the conclusion was that any man can be in his/your shoes with the right or should i say wrong type of chemical reaction in a mans brain at that point in time.
You see, like you, i have also vowed not to do such and i haven't . My wife and i argue, she easily gets upset and sometimes can run her mouth "you're so dumb" "you are mad" "you're immature"... its a long least, yall know what they say. luckily for me and may be her, she knows when she has crossed the line and gets emotional and finds away to quickly mend things. I hope i never get to that point of no return, that one way ticket that will forever tarnish my marriage credentials by hitting her.
Thats how that banker (i think) killed his banker wife. No one will never know what really happened. Their daughter has no biological parent to look after her again not to talk of the stigma she will live with for ever.
Women should be very careful and be respectful with their utterances towards their man, the head of the house. A good wife should not attempt to fiddle with his ego. It can be very costly.
Men, with hot tempered diarrhea mouthed partners/wives, find an exit strategy when she starts before you end up behind bars for one extremely crazy moment you wont even be able to wrap your head around what exactly caused it.
Mr poster, you guys should go see a shrink if we have them here and MAY BE you over reacted. EOD!!

Anonymous said...

your problem is bigger than battery. your wife doesnt respect you. I'm sure uve done somtin to have brought about this lack of respect. If not then she's an idiot for being so rude. black women are sha known for this

Anonymous said...

www.makeunamanageunasef.com

Anonymous said...

Trust me. you would have the Best Sex ever, when you return home this Night

Anonymous said...

i know its bad to hit a woman and you should never do it. But i also know some women will push a guy and test his limits and we are all human and we do have our breaking point.
Apologise to your wife, when you have both cooled down and find ways to talk about this issue of her sharp tongue so that there is no re occurence.

Anonymous said...

Ur wife is certainly deliberately trying to get on ur nerves. Sometimes women push men too far

Anonymous said...

Don't feel bad my broda. Some women need correction slap. Wherever she is now, she is thinking about the slap. Be patient next time and don't hit her but she will watch her mouth next time...

Honeydrop said...

Not guilty!
Hope u gave her a thunderous slap. She be abiku!
I am a woman,sometimes one needs brain correction,that's what u did.next time she will be more cautious with her mouth.

Another thing is, is are different approaches to women, maybe u respond to her like ur the boss,or her words are irrelevant ,or maybe ur not good in bed,or not satisfying her sexually. Women can react to many different things and make ur world a living hell when unhappy, abi u no dey bring money for house? Check urself well too.

Anonymous said...

u didn't do badly@ all bro, what u term 'slap' wasn't actually a slap but an automatic reset of the brain .

she wld start behaving herself hence forth, that I can assure u .

aojin said...

Maybe there is something else that is getting on her nerves. Pet and cuddle her to find out, tell her softly you don't like it when she use foul language on you. If she loves you.

Anonymous said...

Women! They will be the first one to push you into the things you don't want to do and will be the first one to shout "Domestic violence" Rubbish!

Unknown said...

Both of ya'll need marriage counseling.

bikey said...

Next time headbooth her to shut her dirty mouth once and for all

Anonymous said...

You both need counselling. A spouse that finds it easy to abuse/insult the other needs help. I don't know the true dynamics of ur relationship but there is obviously an underlying problem. You were wrong to have hit her....u always have a choice to walk away. Get the necessary help if u want to save your marriage.

Unknown said...

Based on what u said no u did not...apologies 2 her nd make her c rison u dint. meant 2 slap her bt I kno 4rm hence4th she'l caution her mouth

Anonymous said...

She z ur wife nd not your girlfriend u slapped just treat her thesame way u treated her b4 u got married to her nd guy beg wella na ur wife

Anonymous said...

She said it several times and I got angry and pulled her shirt to warn her.SHE DIDNT GET THE MEASSAGE I THINK.YOU SHOULD HAVE MADE HER

Unknown said...

Chai. ..nawa. no words...

Anonymous said...

You should apologise but at least that will teach her a lesson, by the way I'm female

Unknown said...

Your wife is right mean.

anita oyewumi said...

For the first in I would defend a man... u did not do wrong.. but try to avoid it later.. reading this I saw u weren't trying to exaggerate meaning it was more than words.. Next time try total silence without having to verbally correct her.. get wud get it

Anonymous said...

You gave her the lead to insult you always,well d deed is done,you and ure wife should see a marriage counsellor so as to gently counsel ure wife and make her realise that as a man u re always the head no matter hw weak she thinks u re,apologise to her if that will make u feel good,but pls women should stop provoking a good man simply because he loves u,love is not weakness,I rest my case#zoeann#

Unknown said...

Just buy a good gift she'd forget the incident u know women has fish brain.

Unknown said...

Just buy her a good gift, she'd forget the incident u know women has fish brain.

Unknown said...

Just buy her a good gift, she'd forget the incident u know women has fish brain.

Anonymous said...

Was she this Insultive when you guys were dating? You did well by slapin her only if she is not pregnant. Am not saying hitting your wife is nice, nex time try dialogue. Woman battery is archaic!

Anonymous said...

This is where it starts from,women would always insults,its takes a bigger man and a mature man 2 walk away,which obviously you are not

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry to say this, But I think you didn't even slap her well enough.

Anonymous said...

What is it with all this men and hitting their spouses!!!Lame excuse

Anonymous said...

She said it several times and I got angry and pulled her shirt to warn her.SHE DIDNT GET THE MEASSAGE I THINK.YOU SHOULD HAVE MADE HER

MM said...

Y are u using my comments to rub powder Ehn Linda?

Social Therapy by Babatunde Scott said...

Hello My friend, what you did was very bad, However i understand it is necessary, Call her and beg to her, Promise her it wont happen again. Am sure she knows the stuff you are made of going forward. She wont be insulting you again. At least for the main time. Great Stuff dou.

MM said...

Google it n stop asking question. Swift to hear n slow to wrath n since u are not a man enough to do that...pls,face de muzik

Anonymous said...

This story doesn't sound complete!!what exactly did you try to do that she stopped you from doing? Hitting you wife on any grounds isn't acceptable and now that it has started,i will advice the lady to carry her bags and run before you kill her!!

Anonymous said...

Na kolo you go marry, lol. If you dated her for years then surely you knew she was an insultive person, so marrying her was saying you do not mind insults and can live happily with insults being hurled at you daily! If not, you should have quit the relationship at the dating stage. Therefore bare the insults cos your probably BRAINLESS like she says! I know I didn't answer your question though*tongue out*

Unknown said...

First of all you know you should never hit a woman but your wife is a bitch. Then again u should know the type of woman ur living with, after all u married her. U made ur bed so lie on it.

Anonymous said...

It does not seem like this is your character and your fife has witch tedancies...sorry
She is rude, and her mouth should be tames
Fair enough, you should not have slapped her, but stuff happens especially if you are pushed AND provoked!
Its time for both of you to sit down and talk!

Bukola said...

You over stepped.. the fact that u had to give various excuses and story line of how you have been enduring her insults is just childish. The bottom line is that you shouldnt have hit her.

Anonymous said...

U're a gud man. Just keep praying 2 God 2 grant u d grace 2 manage ur temperament. Also pray for ur wife 2 change from her abusive attitude. I think both of u shld go 4 counseling. #Jasmine

Anonymous said...

biko please slap her again...your wife needs thorough beating and yes i am a woman..i cannot take it when women push men to the wall and start shouting domestic violence afterwards

Anonymous said...

If he didn't notice her character wen dey were dating then all I can say its his fault all dis happenin! If should apologize 2 her n let them go 4 counseling atleast his wife needs it most! Aunty pls post my comment

Red oil, fresh and dry ginger, dry fish for sale said...

lyk u never studied her b4 u got married 2her, some women sha......

Anonymous said...

Hmmm, some women dey worry o, after dem go come lib come dey shout, DOMESTIC VOILENCE, DOMESTIC VOILENCE, DOMESTIC VOILENCE. Oga she is ur wife and dia is notin u can do abt it, just keep controlling urself, b4 u kill her o.

Anonymous said...

dude its obvious she doesn't respect you...is that how you gonna spend the rest of your life....think it over

Anonymous said...

She ask for it mr. You gave her the warnings and she dared you... I hope she respect you now.. If she show signs of remorse then do apologise to her...

Anonymous said...

If she says you are brainless then she has got no brain too for marrying a brainless man.

Anonymous said...

u should be ashamed of yourself for lifting up your hand to hit your wife . u claimed u guys dated for several years am sure u would have noticed she had a fast filthy tongue and u lived with it all through your courtship so why is it a problem now.

Men who hit their women are angry with themselves for not meeting their woman's expectation and u already hav branded your self a failure and are expressing it with battery . there is more to being a man than having a dick and two balls. grow up hold ur dick in your hand and be a man . otherwise you would remain the BRAINLESS husband you hav just been labeled .

Unknown said...

hmmmmmm! women knows how to bring out the animal in a man. just apologize to her and ask her never to call u a brainless man again, if she go hear. but pls don't do it again.

Anonymous said...

U hv nt done anything bad by proving 2 her dat ur ar man, bcs somtime action speaks louder than voice, but at d end of its all I stil wnt u 2 b d man by caming her down with som swt words...

Anonymous said...

Dear wife,if you are reading this please run fast because that all they will keep saying,she insulted me.i have been married for 5years and I can tell you my husband haas turned me into a punching bag at the slightest provocation.am leaving him because the last time he almost killed me

Neymar said...

In as much as I don't approve of a. Man beating his wife, I still feel she needs to b put in her place cos her nagging is really anonying but u could hav handle d situation differently

David Iyke said...

You are a gentleman like me,I vowed to my my wife and God that i will never lift my hand on my wife. For 17 good years am still keeping it. You may ask how, take a walk,put on earpiece, pretend you are not hearing her abuses,as a matter of fact, one day i practically jumped out through the window in order to avoid exchange of blows that was building up.tank God that now my wife nags less seeing that i can't touch her! so bros draw her closer and do some 1on 1 talk. God will bless your family.

Anonymous said...

If I am the one I will slap her ten times, although where I m from the SS region men don't cook for their wives talk less of your wife insulting you, women respect their husbands a lot and that why some women don't like to marry men from my region........

Anonymous said...

I don't blame u , women are turning to something else . They are taking advantage of this domestic violence stuff to cos havoc upon men . A man that beat his wife because she dint cook the type of meal he wants or is a bit late with his food is different from a man that beat a woman for over running her mouth or even abuse him physically . Women should tell themselves the truth , they started destroying the world when eve ate that apple and they are still destroying the world even more . Women are wicked and evil and very manipulative , especially all these flashy naija hoes

Anonymous said...

people bring out the worst in us when push comes to shove. The you that slapped your wife is you in the worst case scenario. That said, you made a mistake by marrying that woman, she is not going to change and the likelihood is that, it is the first slap among many more to come. But you have to keep your home, so live with the fact that you have a wife who will always talk you down. but develop some defense mechanism to keep your esteem intact since your wife's core competence is to tear your esteem apart.
one way to do that is to gather enough responses to her typical verbal assault eg. if she tells you you have a common sense or no brain, quickly agree with her. tell her she is right, because if you had enough uncommon sense or half the brain that she had, you wouldn't have married her you would have at least marry a woman who had common sense and not an uncommon sense.

just gather enough witty response without feeling bitter. You cant change her sharp tongue but you can change the way you respond to it. All the best.

Chris Watson said...

To the man who slapped his wife, I hope you get to read this. No offense but Linda is NOT a relationship expert, I do not see any good reason for asking her how to make up to your wife. She ain't your wife. I believe if you are married, then you should be old enough to make your own decisions and stick to it too. You should know better. First off, hitting a woman is just so wrong, but its already happened. What you should do is sit with your wife and talk things through. Let her know she was being disrespectful to you, but you apologize for hitting her and she shouldn't talk to you that way again as you do not like that. She should also let you know where you do her wrong. Work things out yourself man. Cheers!!

Anonymous said...

She deserves more slap. Some women have irritating attitudes especially towards their husbands. Thr's a limit2wat evry man can take. Report her to her mother (tell her wat happened) or report her 2 here elder sister or brother. Then sit ur wife down wen her brain is cool and talk2her not 2 ever insult u again cos I see she's d one without a brain. If she had a brain she wld as well chosen not 2 marry u. Idiot woman.

Anonymous said...

This man is trying to console himself with this story. Because if you are really sorry you won't be asking if u over reacted

Anonymous said...

She deserves more slap. Some women have irritating attitudes especially towards their husbands. Thr's a limit2wat evry man can take. Report her to her mother (tell her wat happened) or report her 2 here elder sister or brother. Then sit ur wife down wen her brain is cool and talk2her not 2 ever insult u again cos I see she's d one without a brain. If she had a brain she wld as well chosen not 2 marry u. Idiot woman.

Anonymous said...

u should have slaped her 5x

Anonymous said...

I wouldn't say wat u did was right buh at d same tym I fink u acted as human u re. D did has bn done, jes plead wid ur wife nd lyf goes on.

Anonymous said...

My dear, I am a woman and i know how women can be even me sef! There's no making up to do biko! Just send her a txt and tell her you are sorry, she will be fine. Sometimes, we need one of these to reset our brains. Na so my hubby dey warn me everyday, i no dey hear! I have learnt my lesson now! Thanks!

Anonymous said...

Why did you marry a wild animal? This thing called love is very misleading. Your wife has no manners. From the heading I thought you beat her up. You guys had a fight so don't feel bad because she's a woman. Couples need to fight physical once in while.

Anonymous said...

Would hitting her make her change?? You just proved you are actually brainless as she called you

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry you feel this way. I truly am and I can almost guess how you would feel. I will not condemn you about how you must never hit a woman; plenty of commentators who come after me will do that.
What i'll say is that you should try and understand that eventhough one solution seems like hitting her back will make her quiet, an even better solution is to conquer her through patience and her love. It's difficult I agree, but do not beat yourself too much about this, or you'll hinder your own growth. Accept that you're a man and you're fallible, and If you are truly sorry about it, I guarantee you that sooner or later, you'll see a way to make it up to her. If you are genuinely sorry about this, but she still guilt trips you, don't worry. The sin is then removed from you to her and she'll have to settle her case with God. Just make sure that on your own part, you have (genuinely) set your mind and heart right with God and that you have genuinely tried to fix the solution and apologise and appease her. Don't think of yourself as being infallible. And try not to do it again

Anonymous said...

Bros, as far as i am concerned, you didnt slap her. Cos, if u slapped her, she would have fainted like the wife of the NFL player.

What kinda wife would be calling her husband brainless. She deserves a punch! But anyways, i am married and wldnt hit my wife though. Pls dont hit her again. If she insults you next time, pick up your clothes and shoes for the week, and say good bye to her.

Come back after one week, and you wld see changes! Do it again and again!

Anonymous said...

Hi,

The fact that you are sober and sorry is good. It points to true repentance. You need to talk to senior members of the family or people you both respect to rein in on your wife's behavior. Though your reaction is inexcusable, she pushed you to the limit. I reacted same way shortly after I got married after a similar behavior from my wife. I regret it and have had no cause to be angry again almost a decade later.

While you need to apologize, she needs to be mentored and tutored, some women are wont to take nice guys for granted.

If you story and remorse is true, am sure it wont happen again. Once a beater is not always a better.

All the best.

Demash....

Unknown said...

Ma dear dnt feel bad about it, smtimes dat slap is all dey need to calm down, but de incessant insult u get frm ur wife is becoming too much oooo, are u sure she still luvs u?pls try nd find out oooo.

Anonymous said...

Perhaps you have a talk with her... let her know she needs to control her mouth so she doesn't provoke you. You also have to apologise too.
Can understand how you feel but some women sha!!!

Anonymous said...

u are wrong. i always say its best to walk away. i equally believe if a man hit once he will again. that said, u didnt tell us how your wife is taking it so far. is she still with u or did she leave. as for making it up, when violent in a home occurs my best approach in solving this is to let a third partner in, "a reasonable, grounded, tested third partner" who counsels both of you on the right thing to do. after that you can buy her a Lamborghini. hoping you wont repeat it, if she takes it at first strike she may not at second. Good luck.

Anonymous said...

Way to go....brother. keep it up. Next time just leave her at home. Pack a bag and go to a buddy's for a couple of days. Don't even say a word.
Some women are just crazy lol. Born and breed to be men.

BROWN EYES said...

No u didn't go beyond lines. She need to be put in her place. She sees u as a weakling nd I i just hope slapping her proves a point to her. She can't just be insulting u like u are a kid. Am married and I cannot insult my hubby or talk to him the way I did fit. Serves her right.

Babe said...

Of course you crossed the line. You won't have sent this in if you didn't think you did.

What happened to you walking away? She was insulting you yes, did she also tie your legs?

The woman get her own but na you we dey talk about right now.
Walk away! If your wonan is raising her voice, dint raise your voice back, simply walk away.

The Traveller said...

Hi LIB reader, this is a subject I have considered plenty because I have had to deal with a similar situation. I have slapped my wife twice during our 6 years of marriage and I feel terrible about it. I am a mild mannered type that doesn't easily get angry. There are people who have never seen me get angry ever in my life and find it difficult picturing me as a man who could raise his hands against anybody.
Each time I had slapped my wife it had happened almost like a reflex. I had felt guilty and apologized. I had also taken a lot of pain to make thing right again. After the last one about 3 years ago, I have paid great attention to my emotions and wilfully and forcefully take control of it. This had help.
However it has also helped that my wife was willing to work with me on this. Together we identified my triggers and we found ways to communicate and disagree without exciting those triggers. This has worked for us. So, please, I strongly feel you need to smooth things out with your wife first. You know her best, so you know how to do this. When things become smooth again, you need to sit and both commit to preventing this.
However, there is one other thing I want to say to every LIB reader and here it is:
I know it is not fashionable (in fact wrong) to hit a woman. I know a lot of men habitually hit their partners and I think they should be punished for it – it is absolutely intolerable to make a woman into a punching bag!!!
I was not happy hitting my wife and continue to be committed to not having that kind of stuff repeat itself again. However, I also hear so many people say, "if a man hits you once, please don't stay, run away as fast as you can". I think in fairness to some of us men, this statement needs to be guided. I would have lost my wife and the happy marriage we have shared these past years had she opted to go with this kind of counsel.
It is the nature of humans to justify our ways, so maybe that is what I am doing as a man who is guilty of haven slapped his wife before. However when I was wondering why I would act totally out of character by hitting my wife, one truth came to me. In marriages, disagreement is inevitable. When humans disagree or quarrel, under certain circumstances, an attack of some form often is a part of our base responses – it is one of the things that had lead nations to war after all.
With men, our typical attack response is to lash out with our hands (a response I believe was designed to defend us and the people we care for). With women, a typical response is to launch an attack with their lips.
How many humans can stand receiving attacks without offering a response? In many marriages, this is what we demand of men. We demand that men receive the attack of women, and men must never respond. While we men are strong and this is doable, sometimes we fail in this effort - especially where the attack is persistent.
I don't hear anyone counselling men to run away from marriages where their wives riddle them with their tongue, attitude and other forms of emotional abuse in the home. In other words it seems society has rejected men attacking their partners but doesn’t see anything wrong with women’s attack.
Won't marriages be better when both parties see their attack mechanism for what it truly is and sheath our swords!!! Men, please don't hit women and women, please don't "hit" men (in all the ways you often too easily do).
I am a Christian and believe this is one of the ideals the Bible was trying to communicate when it said that men should love their wives - because a man who loves his wife will not harm her. But the bible also says women should respect their husbands. A woman who respects her husband will not attack his manhood - trying to make him less than a man.

Finally, don't wait for your partner to sheath his/her sword first. Sheath yours, while working on your partner sheathing his/hers. Let us make better marriages and better families and better children. Then we stand a chance of having a better nation for us all.

Anonymous said...

Good for her she will learn to control her big mouth.

Anonymous said...

Well... You warned her several times. The slap was for her to know you're the boss around her. But you should apologize to her an tell her it won't happen again.

mummy bee said...

Me i don't see anything too wrong here because the wife slapped him in return even after provoking him with her insults. On the other hand, you should sit her down and thrash the matter. Apologize to her if need be

APPLE said...

It is up to her to forgive you. While at it go back to your parents and get more training.

David Olu said...

Women can make you do evil things at times, they can be so annoying and frustrating, I regard them as necessary evils lol.... You went to the extreme for hitting her, But you have proved a point. Ensure it never happens again, Try to tolerate and over look things. As a man, you have to be the more mature party in the relationship. just take her out to her favorite place or buy her something special to apologize...All the best

Unknown said...

Bros, it's so unfortunate that you have broken the vow. Even of she forgives you, in less than 5 Months you will still slap her again and again. Every woman is Thesame, you only need to control your temper and jokingly tell her you have accepted that you have just common sense...LOL

Anonymous said...

Bro, why are you feeling bad? She has been emotional violent to you and you needed that slap to wake her brainless sense from slumber...stupid woman

Anonymous said...

you definitely went beyond lines....there is no excuse for hitting a woman.

C'LORD said...

I dont believe in beating women too, but bro, please give her another slap when you get home i beg of u..if you don't, insults will continue, and this is simply the best way to curb it, let her understand that violence can be an option if really pushed to the wall..this will make her change over time and stop insulting. nevertheless, pls dont turn to a habit, we are still gentlemen.

note that i wrote this based on your won side of the story, I hope you didnt do more than you wrote here

Fisayo said...

You don't need to make up for it. I think you both got what you deserve. Why on earth will you marry someone who emotionally abuses you and pushes you to the extreme? I think she grew up in a physically and verbally abusive home and is recreating that setting cos she is used to it and probably hates men.You need to sit her down, apologise and ask her to Do the same to you. Secondly, you both need a psychologist. She needs to learn to communicate without verbal abuse. That way, the physical fight will never repeat itself especially if you plan having kids. Then you both need to cultivate the habit of praying together every morning and ask God to perfect your imperfections. Hearing that every morning will make her more conscious and the prayer will ring in her head all day. Continue to show acts of kindness for every wrongdoing. It will be like hot coals in her conscience. Bible says so.and she will gradually realise and reciprocate. Best wishes

Anonymous said...

Wow! Sounds like that wife of yours has no respect for you at all. I she the bread winner? smh!

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