Question of the day: Marry someone because your pastor says so? | Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog

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Thursday, 26 January 2012

Question of the day: Marry someone because your pastor says so?

Should you marry someone because your pastor says they are who God wants for you? Some lady just told me that's the reason she got married two months ago.

52 comments:

Chester Dirisu said...

Will rather settles for a girl I love whether or not my pastor approves. I have my life to live and the fact that I worship in a church does not tie me to the aprostring of any pastor.

Anonymous said...

Hell NO!

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Lynda said...

No way!!! Bible says, he that finds a good wife finds a good thing. You look for your wife. Going for counseling in church is not a prob for me, but a pastor cant tell me that he got a vision from God about who to marry when i kno the basics.

Anonymous said...

i wouldn't go with that sort of advise......i am going through that same phase now and my parents are telling me they will not accept anyone i bring home to them. well as for me i haven't found my perfect man so i will keep searching until i find him.

bloglord said...

no i wouldnt cos tmrw wen we start having issues pastor would then say what God has joined together let no man put asunder. moreso not al pastors say what God tells them, they say what they want n claim it was d lord who spoke...
i wouldnt do such a thing. i will marry who i feel i love so much of course of which i must have consulted God for direction myself for the choice ive made

Anonymous said...

I would rather get confirmation from the Holy spirit rather than from a pastor especially if it is in Nigeria. Some naija men are desperate and pushy and will not mind bribing a so-called man of God to lie to a lady they really want to marry that it was God's will when in actually it was not. One just can't trust people these days.

Anonymous said...

If you are in the right church, there 99percent tendency that your pastor can't be lying. Because God never lies neither does he fail. So there's nothing wrong with marrying someone your pastor ask you to marry. To me its just the right thing but first make sure you are in the right place! Not all that says Lord truly calls on Him.

Anonymous said...

Nevers!

chichiluv said...

My cousin did that nonsense and now she's a divorced, single mother, and what's worse is that she didn't go to church and the pastor told her this, her MOTHER went to church with a picture of two men that were interested and HE picked the one he said GOD said was her husband! IF God said that was it, how come it came assunder?

People place pastors on pedestal and suspend their brain activity. Is it the pastor or your parents who will live with the man at home dealing with the daily rigors of married life? Is it the pastor who will deal with his family?

I Think Not! My advice to anyone is WAIT ON GOD'S TIME! God speaks to ALL of us individually, nobody on this earth NEEDS a pastor to speak for them to God and bring back a response. Speak to your Father and ask for the desire of your heart with reference to a mate, you can ask a pastor/family/friends to pray with you on the matter but to rest your whole life on someone else's decision is a mugu move.

Rx_Informatics said...

Your pastor, by virtue of his postion; your spiritual father may recommend one raltionship over another. Having said that, he or she has no place in telling you who (or who not) to marry. Afterall, Christian leaders are not spaeared of the current wave of divorce! No one can say that have the institution of marriage "down packed"! May God in His infinite wisdom and mercies continue to lead our paths concerning big steps such as marriage!

Anonymous said...

Abeg for what na? Who is going to live with him you or the pastor? I rest my case

Anonymous said...

Hmm interesting, did he get a cut? A Ugandan priest has just been jailed in the UK for conducting false marriages mainly for Nigerian men..

Just wondering if the guy bribed the priest...

Just thinking out loud.

D Truth Uncensored said...

I pray never to be in that position because it's actually scary especially if in your opinion the pastor is a true man of God...

ng said...

That s a highway to unhappiness...the pastor will not be there during the ups and downs of marriage. pls be wise, this is the 21st century.

cosmopolitandiva said...

the thing about women is they have to understand that when it comes to matters of the heart it's best to stay away from extremes. marrying someone you dont love is just as bad as marrying someone who doesn't love you. shine your eyes!

Anonymous said...

well you shouldnt bt it depends on how u see it...bt pastors r meant to be a mentor and a spiritual covering over someone's life bt that doesnt mean the pastor should make decisions for u...he is there to join u in faith and pray concerning the will of God for ur life and not make decisions for u...moreoover in this institution called marriage, certain principles apply which doesnt include a pastor choosing ur spouse for u.

Kayem said...

I wouldn't... I'm a good judge of character, and I think we all have that God-given gift. What qualities do I want in my man? Simple! I don't need a pastor to make those decisions for me. Except, of course if the pastors discretions are unanimous to mine.

Tess said...

Your pastor will not live with you and your spouse so it is a very dangerous business for him to choose your partner.

He could pray along with you, but that is as far as I believe it should go. We tend to encourage pastors to have a lot of say in our lives and that is the reason many of them are able to manipulate members of their congregation.

Pastors are human also and have their own bias and shortcomings too. The only difference is that spiritually, they dedicate themselves more than the ordinary person. I too used to be guilty of placing them on a pedestal and forgetting that they are as human as I am.

Someone I know went into this type of marriage with a man she was not compartible with and as soon as God opened their eyes to see the pastor for who he really is, they left the church and broke up.

Anonymous said...

How do you know the right place?

Whichkinjoke said...

that is lame!!!!!!!!!
She is not ready for marriage jor

Anonymous said...

Will your pastor live with you?

Anonymous said...

No pastor can tell me that..only the brain washd can believe on that...RUBISHi¿

Anonymous said...

a pastor is not God. He can guide but he cannot decide. You have to decide for yourself.

Anonymous said...

linda,na those mugu wey don first marry church for head,there pastor fit tell that kind word,god say brother you and that sister mercy jenny go marry,,well no be every person face pastor fit tell such thing.

Anonymous said...

In genesis, God asked Adam why he ate the fruit in the middle of the garden, and Adam said: baba God shebi na u gimme wife, I no kukuma ask for wife, u see wetin u cause now? Na she gimme apple chop oo. and since then God has left the decision of finding a wife entirely up to the man and not his pastor. Find a wife and then ask for Gods blessing simple...but make sure u're making the right choice oo.

Nigerian news. said...

That's in the old era age, i can't do that, firstly, i'll want to marry you, then i'll need the CONSENT of my pastor, not him needing my consent to married someone of HIS choosing!.
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Ivy said...

This does not happen all the time!First of all, the pastor has been placed by God as a watchman over you. And secondly, there is no idle instruction that comes from God without a confirmation especially when it concerns a third party. Thirdly, if it is from God, then no matter how it looks unattractive, it is still the very best. marriage is not a childs'game, so you need that convinction that you have not picked out of lust, when you face those diverse test.

Anonymous said...

It depends on your heart, cuz @ d end of d day if u go against d pastors choice n ur marriage eventually fails, u'd b blamed by close friends n family...so its a 2 way thing, we r small Gods tho, ask God 4 a sign 2 show u who ur husband/wife is

Anonymous said...

anyone that allows someone else outside of God to determine their life partner gets whatever they deserve.

Anonymous said...

Knowledge is power, and no wonder while the bible says that "my people perish because they lack knowledge". throughout the bible history apart from Adam and Eve, the pioneer of union (marriage) God had never chosen a particular lady for a particular man. not a single example could be cited heresy apart. you see, what people don't know is that GOD did not create anybody for a particular person, as you hear some people say that "you are the only one I can marry to because God has destined us to be a husband and wife". this is a white lie and it is a completely lack of knowledge. the truth here is that, God only knows those who are fit into your life, those that can add values to you, those that will share the same vision with you and even respect you for whom you are. and a second point is that, IF you seek GOD'S face, He can strategically bring you close to such people, and now, it's yours to make a move. God had never told anybody in the past and never will He tell anybody. ask from the truly called men of God, I can say it without reservation that if they want to be sincere, none of them can emphatically say that God chose his/her spouse for him/her.
"Pastors" only hide under the umbrella of "thus saith the lord" when God had said nothing. just go and check some of "these pastors" at home, they are a failure domestically, their mariages have crumbled likewise. please get this point right. there is power of choice. God ultimately gave this power to men and that's why you are free to make whatever choice you want provided you can bear the consequence (the type of choice you make determines what the consequence is). and it is never a sin, Doctrine apart, if a man sees a lady he loves and proposes marriage to her "if he can bear the consequence" Vice versa. You must be the driver of your own life because it is suicidal for "people" to do that for you. if you don't decide what you want, people will decide for you but mind you, you will regret it.do not be deceived, it takes understanding to be a husband or wife and to maintain and sustain your relationship. on major critical decision one must be careful with is marriage, you don't allow anybody or any body to decide for you because these peoople would not be there with you. What a bitter truth......."there is no template for a successful marriage" apart from true understanding.
thank you.

Raphael.

rapht20@yahoo.com

Oma said...

I can't believe people still do this. Who will live in the house with the man? is it you or your pastor? You better learn to make your own life decisions . http://lifethroughomaseyes.blogspot.com

Y.Tee said...

No way!!!

Anonymous said...

Hmmmm. Pls o!! U have to expantiate more on 'the right place'. What the hell do u mean by that?? Is there a church or place of worship that is not right to the individual who worships there?? Abeg,mind what u say and don't cause any chaos here. Selah!!!

Anonymous said...

This is a serious issue ooo especially with people who have churchy mums.

Cynthia said...

As far as am concerned, its stupidity/desperation that will make any lady marry a guy cos pastor said so. D same God u trust can reveal such to the pastor can also reveal it to u. All u need do is PRAY AND FAST seriously. These days, many "pastors"and churches are out for d financial gain. So its unwise to entirely place ur future happiness in the hands of a fellow man.

Anonymous said...

Who do u knw is d holy spirit?

ofilispeaks said...

God sey make I marry Beyonce...but she no wan hear word!

Seyitude said...

STUPIDITY is wen u get married to someone cos ur pastor says so! Not even my parents can choose for me!

BlaqieChan said...

I totally agree with Anon 8:12. My opinion though.

Anonymous said...

of course !if truely its God,bt i wuldnt until i av gotten d confirmatn 4rm God myself.Remembr God speaks even thru d mouths of His prophets,n if u believe His prophets,u'll prosper.There r several ?'s2 ask urself...

Anonymous said...

pastors are over rated!!
will the pastor also sleep with the wife for you?
When you have God's spirit in you,no pope can take the place of God in your life.

Anonymous said...

pastors are men of God.
That makes them men after all.
we need to stop this delusional man worship.

Anonymous said...

anon 8:12pm,
please confirm that you are joking?
Else, you need help.

Anonymous said...

This is what has been confirmed to me in my spirit a long time ago. Any prophecy over my life must be a confirmation. What do I mean, whatever you prophesy over my life must be something God/Holy Spirit has already whispered into my spirit. So, anyone's prophecy must be a confirmation or it's a no go. But then we must have that type of relationship with God where we can hear his soft voice whisper into our spirit.

CAREERS IN NIGERIA said...

Alot of people are fustratingly enduring their marriage cos d made this mistake,funny thing is alot of young people are more prone to making the same mistake cos of d way we are wired religious wise in dis county,am an ardent believer,i beleive God has the final say in my life and yes i hear from the holy spirit so i d rather that than any man of God cos d are wat we call them men,prone to mistakes.

CAREERS IN NIGERIA said...

Alot of people are fustratingly enduring their marriage cos d made this mistake,funny thing is alot of young people are more prone to making the same mistake cos of d way we are wired religious wise in dis county,am an ardent believer,i beleive God has the final say in my life and yes i hear from the holy spirit so i d rather that than any man of God cos d are wat we call them men,prone to mistakes.

Unknown said...

I dont trust them not to talk of taking advice from them. Most of them are chalatans. Come to think of it ; it only naija pastor God speaks to. Awon o ni ... .

Justin Goodwins said...

It depends entirely upon whether the Pastor is reliable in his assessment of the circumstances surrounding the couple. Is the couple ultimately compatible? Are they stable? Do they support each other? Are they truly in love? It is alright to take advice from anyone who knows all the facts about a relationship, but one shouldn't be forced into a marriage especially by religious guilt. I actually have a set of friends who married because the mans' probation officer said they couldn't live together (even though they had an infant) unless they got married...ridiculous when the church or state intervenes in relationship they have no vested interest in. Will they pick up the pieces if it fails?

Unknown said...

Hey, hw do u known or determine the right church?

Didi Stonz' said...

Pastors are meant to ADVISE us, that's their role, and not COMMAND us. It is left for us to weigh their advise(and that of other people who's opinion we may have sought) against what we KNOW about that person and take a decision.

Anonymous said...

The bible says he who finds a good wife obtains favor from the lord. Men, do the finding. And for men and women, God will only confirm what he has told you. So you must be persuaded and be at peace in your heart. Why do people seek for confirmation or approval from pastor. I am not against that but you are the one to live with the man or woman and you are the one who should make this decision. it is your destiny.

phemmanuel said...

never, even my mum cant tell me who to get married to,i have my own life to live and any action we take today will definitely court on us tomorrow

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