We have been married for 10 years and have 3 kids. I trained her for her last 3 years in the university before we got married. I did all the spending for our marriage ceremony and gave her a Job also in the banking industry before she lost her job 3 years later during the melt down in the banking sector. She now working with a service provider company with a salary a little above =N=102,000.00 monthly.I provide all that is needed to run the family without asking her for a penny till 9 months ago after I did a job with a government agency which my payment was delayed for 9 months. Before the delay of my payment, I take the responsibly of her parents up keep.
Within the stressful nine months for me, I told her we needed to put heads together for the up keep of the family. For the 1st time in our marriage, we both contributed for the house rent and also made her pay for the children school fees totaling =N= 162,000.00. All these didn’t go down well with her.
With time she started disrespecting me and even talks any how to me, she wakes up in the morning not greeting me, goes out not informing me and she constantly refusing sex. We are always having quarrels here & there and I had slapped her on two occasions out of extreme annoyance. Later I begged for forgiveness for slapping her.
I had sat her down on many occasions to talk; her issue is that she feels I’m not doing enough to provide for the house again and also not doing enough to get my payments. She told me if need be, let me borrow. She doesn’t like the fact that she is brings money. So she puts all kind of attitudes towards me. She kept telling her friends and family negative things about me. Her parents stop calling me because I no longer have to give them but the speck with her daily and never asked how I’m doing. I know these because I sit close to her when they call. They ask only about the kids. But it’s well.
When she is back from work daily, she start chatting with friends, she doesn’t talk to me, she deletes her chats on her phone immediately and when she is about going to bed, she offs her underwear drop it in the launder basket and go to bed. On a close watch, I found out that her underwear is freshly always wet anytime after the chats.
Her attitude towards sex has been nothing to write home about, this has also caused several quarrels at night, I practically have to beg her for sex and still no result. This terrible situation has caused me to masturbate on several occasions even before her in bed.
My patience over her sex state is expiring and I am at the brinks of searching for a mistress or more accommodating lady. She claims she does not find me attracted again. This is really affecting, I see myself getting close to another marriage. I will not want to inform her parents before taken this step. I want to believe she married because I was able. Now I have just been paid my outstanding money by government a week ago but she does not know.
What do I do please
487 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 401 – 487 of 487It is well
You now have the money. Go for another woman.
It is well
It is well
Make ur marriage work! Make her fall in love with you again. Yes she hasn't been fair,talk about it with her. Communication and forgiveness is key to every successful marriage.
She married u 4d money man..dnt ask her 4sex again, refuse eating her food..nd kip late nights if she doesnt get jealous or nervous and ask questions divorce her nd get ursef anoda woman..as 4d parents dnt call them again.
Your story is pertetic to discuss, but don't tell her now about your outstanding payments which had just been paid to you.
Talk to her again in a manner of godly man as an husband. Respect her needs let her know the consequences of her refusing you for love making. Make her to understand that you are a husband not boy friend you are the father of her children. If she refuse please try not to suspect her of any affairs. If you have done these inform her parents no natter what happens even if they dont want to talk to you and pretending knowing what is happening in your family.
Never hide anything for your beautiful parents if they were alive and never keep anything for her own parents to know.
If you have done all these and no change you can then take your own actions but seek the face of almighty God ok my brother?
Your story is pertetic to discuss, but don't tell her now about your outstanding payments which had just been paid to you.
Talk to her again in a manner of godly man as an husband. Respect her needs let her know the consequences of her refusing you for love making. Make her to understand that you are a husband not boy friend you are the father of her children. If she refuse please try not to suspect her of any affairs. If you have done these inform her parents no natter what happens even if they dont want to talk to you and pretending knowing what is happening in your family.
Never hide anything for your beautiful parents if they were alive and never keep anything for her own parents to know.
If you have done all these and no change you can then take your own actions but seek the face of almighty God ok my brother?
Marriages...U need to forget about marriage for now;kindly invest greatly with a good business mind on something that will be of great benefit for you in future amd those lovely kids.As for the woman, u need to be smart and prayerful, that's not a wif, meanwhile aint gonna conclude easily, cos i'm yet to read her own side of the story.My uncle is facing a similar situation here in the UK as well.
Enter your comment...Tell her u ve been paid but this time be more careful
Marriages...U need to forget about marriage for now;kindly invest greatly with a good business mind on something that will be of great benefit for you in future amd those lovely kids.As for the woman, u need to be smart and prayerful, that's not a wif, meanwhile aint gonna conclude easily, cos i'm yet to read her own side of the story.My uncle is facing a similar situation here in the UK as well.
Marriages...U need to forget about marriage for now;kindly invest greatly with a good business mind on something that will be of great benefit for you in future amd those lovely kids.As for the woman, u need to be smart and prayerful, that's not a wif, meanwhile aint gonna conclude easily, cos i'm yet to read her own side of the story.My uncle is facing a similar situation here in the UK as well.
You got it right....she married you because you were able to provide 'single-handedly' and when you lost that ability to provide "she didn't find you attractive anymore".
Well there are two things "I THINK" can happen, since you got paid, make peace with your wife and continue your duties as the 'provider' of the family and whatever you do, don't lose your 'bread' again; you know what they say "responsibility defines a man" . You may both need to speak to a marriage counselor through the process.
On the other hand, seeing that your wife may not truly love you and staying in loveless marriage is the most depressing thing ever. Kindly seek Legal advice on how to dissolve it then you can move on with your life with someone else. That's better than cheating on your wife bro #JustSaying. But then you have to think about the effect of divorce on your kids.
The ball is in your court, receive wisdom!
Pls don't have a mistress that not the solution just try and make understand so many thing and still don't tell her u have collected the money and let see if she realize what she doing God bless ur home and pray
U r lucky u r a man, u can easily cheat. What of me,from 2013 till today I've had sex only 4 times. Shud I kill myself? I only look up to God n d husband is busy fucking round PH.
That's why I still tell people you don't know someone when you haven't experienced what they're like with and without money; that it's when you experienced both sides of the coin that you'll get to know much about them in the financial aspect at least.
*ur wifey na typical gold digger who's only available when the grass is greener.
The only condition God gives for divorce is when sexual immorality is been committed. You are not really sure if she's cheating on you.that are undies are always wet is not enough evidence. Atimes ladies do release some thing like mucor atimes yellowish in color its normal with them.seek the face of God and really confirm if she's truly cheating on you before taking any action.
Bros ee women say yes to every man that is loaded not for love but for his pocket Sake. You caused your problems by carrying that your woman and her family as if you don't have other needs, what about your own people I believe you forgot them just because of that breeze you call your wife, well don't go for another woman it will increase your calamities because that's another baby mama calling. Pray to God and take some steps to move forward for you will definitely recover but learn your lessons, pls still show her love but stay clear from her people for they don't worth it
Tell her you just got paid and first examine her reaction towards you for three days. If it changes then you know it's because of the money. Sit her down and tell her your mind bluntly of how you are disappointed at her for changing her attitude towards you because of money. Commit your marriage into God's hands. God will solve this for you if you put him first in everything you do. Please do not look elsewhere for another woman.
Do you normal responsibilities...your children school fee ..bills and food allowance. ..then enjoy your self outside with mistress. ...Because she deserve that...na she go tire
Let her know that you have been paid and let's see if she finds you attractive again. Then you can decide on what to do....
Oga,
There is a problem that only you knows about and therefore can proffer a solution to,
when you are ready to share the root of this problem,kindly come back online.
Look on to God alone for directions for a guaranteed successful marriage. Jesus is Lord!
Serious matter...some people married for the juice and don't like being part of the threshing... anyway... you should have seen these signs during the courting times...its too bad
Well .my broda ur story ..is wat every man will never wished for ...ur so called wife never love u..she came 4ur money ..but u dint realised..get ur self gfrnd who could help u cure slipless nits....as for de money don't tell her ...play like afool until she ask question...but kip de kids out of diz...sorry
Brother, I can't say anything because this is one-sided story. But please, go before God; he listens and directs.
Five words brother: she's not for you! Forget all the years spent and all if she cant be there in the bad times then tell me her worth biko
Mumu!!!
First, don't tell her uve been paid. Sit her down n talk to her, infact let her know u will soon look for other women. Find out what she wants, if it's a divorce, call her family n let it all out. At such meeting u can as well divulge the secret of u being paid n see their reactions. If they or she make moves to change their mind, tell them u need time to think about it. Leave for some time, maybe few days or a week then decide if u'll let her continue with u or not.
Sey this bros no sabi read ni? Lmaoooo
Ole!!! I don lmaoooo...you are just like the wife
Dumping her,won't solve anything.
Guy, your happiness is key if you allow anybody to determine your happiness you are doom for sure. If she doesnt fancy you again because of money, bro dont waste your energy thinking about what will not add to you. From your money pay your debts and take care of your children. Find your groove back .
My dear divorce is not d best option. Pray for her and be careful this tym. God bless u
There was no understanding between you two. You made her believe that you are going to give her everything she ever wanted. She doesn't marry you for love, but for what she was getting from you. When that stops, your good relationship stop to exist. Sorry bro.
Dont let anybody determine your joy. You have your money now, take care of your children and pay your debts. Guy your happiness is very important to you and you alone. If you die someone else will spend your money and thats the truth. Get your groove my guy no dulling
Look for true love? Like its that easy...and how sure are you that the so called true lover won't dish too wen things go south? Hmmm?
Pls Mr.man JuSt communicate with your wife more and put everything in prayerto God. Remember...Two wrong can't make right.
Besides AIDS is reallll...
Guy your happiness is paramount here. If by chance you drop dead today, its all over. Anything that will make you happy go ahead and do it. Life is good. Dont let anybody dictate your mood for you. Thank God you have your money now, settle your debts and be happy with yourself.
Frank moses... YOU ARE A BIG FOOOOOOOOL. MUMU!
The best advice ever. am a woman and am married,can never treat my husband like that.follow this advice
What you need to do is continue to give her what she wanted, then you can redefine your relationship. Without that, she will not listen to you.
Some G Thang. WORD!!!
she obviously was with u cos u were her money making machine. Am sure if she finds out abt ur payment, she will come around. she has to prove her true love or u move on.
just be calm and be lookin but never let her know u paid already... get a side chick that u ll be fuckin wen horny... dont break your marriage, just handle it with brain
Bullshit!! Women like u are always self opinionated
Tell the government called as regards to ur cash nd see her reaction.
Tell her the government called as regards to ur cash nd see her reaction.
I am a woman but I love ur comment. His wife is very wicked that needs to be taught a lesson. Commenter you are the Boss, I like men like you.
Iam in the same situation now and to say the least is not funny at at all. No been able to provide for your family and the woman handles it is worst than death. i,m currently going through the worst phase of my life and sometimes i feel like committing suicide. My advie to u is simply stay away from her,if not if may not live to tell another story.
I nearly cried reading your story. Why? I am a woman. Married for thrice over the time you've been married. Have passed through thick and thin with my husband. 9 months is too short a time for a good woman to react. But you made the mistake from the onset. Sending her to school, catering for her parents, doing everything-it was like buying love. When you ran out of money, love finished.
My suspicion is that she was influenced by her family and friends. That's how it is with us women when we are silly enough to tell our family our marital problems. Its likely she also mentioned the slapping parts which made them hostile to you.Don't let her know you've been paid. Carry out your duties in paying the childrens school fees as well as the rent. But that's all. Don't refund her for what she has paid already. Its likely she asks whem she suspects you have some money already. But have a ready answer. Allow her to pick up some bills in the house-food, gas, electricity etc...It will help you see WHO you truly married. Unfortunately, it does look like she doesn't truly lone you. So you have to be prepared for that eventuality. She's not there for you. She might never be. You are very lucky you found out after 10 years.
Why are hiding the true, just because u re woman. Supporting
Why re u hiding the truth just because u re woman
If you had no actual suggestion to give to this man, you could as well shut up. There isn't much difference between the woman being described and you.
hehheh pray then
-D great anonymous now as Vivian Reginalds
Bitch the man is trying to express his guts, you either shut the f**k up or you don't comment again, and u need to go get a life
Am experiencing exactly wat u r passing 2ru,ask her for divorce u won't b surprised she will oblige,women r all d same.
U are fool. Am not sure u read or even understand d passage
Are u ok? @ amy, no sense of reasoning at all
Masturbate? bro go to shrine and get some headies, cos it's a greater sin than fornication! and then send your wife home for a while cos she's home sick.
Bros u don enter one chance. This woman will soon leave you. Dey yarn opata there.
Bros u don enter one chance. This woman will soon leave you. Dey yarn opata there.
U did not read the story well n u talk what u do not know .think and know DAT life is up n down .DAT woman is evil .she can go get money from her family .u r the greedy type.no sense in u.
Mr man do not let her know keep pretending and get urself good girl.and make sure u take care of ur kids .call meeting of both parents see what she will do .if her parents wants her back so be it .and always trust god .she regret it one day .and beware she mighty be seeing someone.my dear god is ur strength .wake up man fashion her for now.
She loves you but you should still show her a lesson tho. Once my hubby was broke and I had to take care of everything, it was stressful so I got angry easily at him and we quarrelled once. After our fight I decided I needed to help him back to his feet. Now we are cool. Marriages have ups and downs
Ibu onye kai kai... who u hep? mr perfect marriage..mteeeew!! If don no wat to say why not shut up
Amy you are obviously a neanderthal. Good luck to you
Oga be inspired and invest wisely this time and become rich..come closer to God, don't beg her again for sex..she will be suprise on the change, then give her conditions since u already knows that she is selfish.don't show her much that u already arrived with your 9 months payout..and see if she will change. Divorce is not the best..unless u catches her cheating.and keep on without responsibility.
Oh ye blood fool. Work on your English before you advice another to work on theirs.
Did you read the post? Well I doubt you did as your myopic brain cells are a dying breed. But let me enlighten you......that's his wife! For better for worse lady. Ordained by God companion,so she should have a feel some way before she contributes to her family? You are the kind that sell themselves cheaply for pennies and dimes. My dear,marriage is not for you neither is any form of relationship. Maintain your side chick status cause you'll be more flexible to jump to the next when the first ain't providing no more.
#signingout
#checkupthename
Oh ye blood fool. Work on your English before you advice another to work on theirs.
Did you read the post? Well I doubt you did as your myopic brain cells are a dying breed. But let me enlighten you......that's his wife! For better for worse lady. Ordained by God companion,so she should have a feel some way before she contributes to her family? You are the kind that sell themselves cheaply for pennies and dimes. My dear,marriage is not for you neither is any form of relationship. Maintain your side chick status cause you'll be more flexible to jump to the next when the first ain't providing no more.
#signingout
#checkupthename
You get d same heart like d wife oooo? Wen d English bad d woman nor marry am? Marriage na to collect from man only NA POVERTY DEY WORRY WOMEN LIKE YOU. am sure say dem go soon pack your load comot your husband house with dis your yeye attitude or no man don marry you bcos of am
Discuss fire nonsense
Easier said dan don,u don't seem 2 rly understand d guy
You must be high
Your type thinks only a man carries all the financial responsibilities of a family.
How callous you are.
How shallow minded you are.
...and funny how you refused to remove the PLANK in your eye but wanted to help him remove the TOOTHPICK in his!
Your English is more terrible.
Choi...u bad gaan!!! Laugh unnecessarily.....lol
I love you Funmi....muaaah. your comment is cool
Sharap...proud asshole
Not a fan of divorce, but I like your comment...
Madam, your advice is completely useless and one sided. Obviously you're a woman.
Madam, your advice is completely useless and one sided. Obviously you're a woman.
Most of women are equal, don't make mistakes of marring another lady, because God have reasons of crowning u.
Look. dont tell her about your money. take care of the children and tell her you borrowed. let her give to her parents.dont cheat if you really want God to handle your case. finally pray about everything and watch God fight for you. i hv been there, the solution is God. some pple change when they see money.
I feel your Pain brah. first i think you should keep her in the dark about the Payment you received. Sit her down again, ask for pardon for the times you hit her, give her some encouraging news about the outstanding payment, man up do chores, run errands, add more efforts at being romantic. If she still gives you the cold shoulder, Go to God in prayers, have a word with her folks about he situation if their response is not good enough then ask her for a divorce and see her reaction. Honestly she married you because you are able and capable to food on the table. She's a gold digger in disguise, if she disrespects you because you no longer got the money muscle then do away with her she does not deserve a man like you. This is my personal view consider it brah. #KINGPOKA
Its very clear that she did not marry you for LOVE,it is because of money that is why she & her family like you.when the money is no longer there you are nobody.Dont tell her that you have being paid.but let her and her family know about your new step so that they wont say you have been cheating on her before now.if you want to go for another woman is better you divorce her so that your life will be save.
i concur with Anayo. give her a big surprise
some women sha. its too bad. cos the man no get you come begin to misbahve. guy throw her out she is a useless woman with useless parents .
This shows she's only after your money. I can't advice u to divorce her but be wise
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