Dear LIB readers; My wife is constantly refusing me sex... | Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog

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Saturday 13 February 2016

Dear LIB readers; My wife is constantly refusing me sex...

A LIB reader writes in;
We have been married for 10 years and have 3 kids. I trained her for her last 3 years in the university before we got married. I did all the spending for our marriage ceremony and gave her a Job also in the banking industry before she lost her job 3 years later during the melt down in the banking sector. She now working with a service provider company with a salary a little above =N=102,000.00 monthly.
I provide all that is needed to run the family without asking her for a penny till 9 months ago after I did a job with a government agency which my payment was delayed for 9 months. Before the delay of my payment, I take the responsibly of her parents up keep.

Within the stressful nine months for me, I told her we needed to put heads together for the up keep of the family. For the 1st time in our marriage, we both contributed for the house rent and also made her pay for the children school fees totaling =N= 162,000.00. All these didn’t go down well with her.
With time she started disrespecting me and even talks any how to me, she wakes up in the morning not greeting me, goes out not informing me and she constantly refusing sex. We are always having quarrels here & there and I had slapped her on two occasions out of extreme annoyance. Later I begged for forgiveness for slapping her.

I had sat her down on many occasions to talk; her issue is that she feels I’m not doing enough to provide for the house again and also not doing enough to get my payments.  She told me if need be, let me borrow. She doesn’t like the fact that she is brings money. So she puts all kind of attitudes towards me. She kept telling her friends and family negative things about me. Her parents stop calling me because I no longer have to give them but the speck with her daily and never asked how I’m doing. I know these because I sit close to her when they call. They ask only about the kids. But it’s well.

When she is back from work daily, she start chatting with friends, she doesn’t talk to me, she deletes her chats on her phone immediately and when she is about going to bed, she offs her underwear drop it in the launder basket and go to bed. On a close watch, I found out that her underwear is freshly always wet anytime after the chats.

Her attitude towards sex has been nothing to write home about, this has also caused several quarrels at night, I practically have to beg her for sex and still no result. This terrible situation has caused me to masturbate on several occasions even before her in bed.

My patience over her sex state is expiring and I am at the brinks of searching for a mistress or more accommodating lady. She claims she does not find me attracted again. This is really affecting, I see myself getting close to another marriage.  I will not want to inform her parents before taken this step. I want to believe she married because I was able.  Now I have just been paid my outstanding money by government a week ago but she does not know.
What do I do please

487 comments:

1 – 200 of 487   Newer›   Newest»
Unknown said...

Seen biko. * it's well*

Unknown said...

Hmmm think well

Unknown said...

Jesus fix it

NaijaDeltaBabe said...

She needs a teaching on marriage. For now reason shld a woman deny her husband of Sex, it shld nt go by her mood


...merited happiness

Unknown said...

Please drop her ass

Tha Prettiest said...

Chai....women

Amy said...

1. Work on your English
2. Stop slapping her, ba small e de take start.
3. Go and look for a good job and take care of your responsiblities.
4. Woman dont take kindly when men collect their money, whether for a good cause or not.#fact
5. Dont even think of carrying a mistress when you have not catered for your family full time. Are you high on lack of sex? Is sex food?
6. Oya start being useful to yourself and your family and revitalise your love life again.

Anonymous said...

Bros pls don't mention the money she married u for the money and will continue to disrespect u no matter how hard u try i think u should talk to God in prayers and act normal it is well

Unknown said...

Please drop her ass

Sexy R said...

Keep pretending not to have money and tell her u want a divorce....see wat her reaction will be cos obviously she respects u cos of ur money and nit ur person...and pls invest ur money so u ll not b broke again.

Unknown said...

Please drop her ass

michael George (the Fulani Prince) said...

She and her family are very ungrateful. ND she is greedy hmm she's even put u on hold on sex. Leave her to finish her madness she would calm down

Unknown said...

Please drop her ass

Unknown said...

She never love u for who you are rather, for what u have. In a case like brother d decision is urs to make ohh

Anonymous said...

Ogbeni...God used that to open your eye on the kind of woman you married..The only way I wld advise you to leave the marriage is adultery, but what u ve is mere suspicion's, anyway keep pretending and u will discover are true colour.

valentina said...

Don't tell her just buy yourself a brand new car. Her head will reset. Mumu woman

Anonymous said...

First of all,go and learn how to write proper English...then we can start from there.

Unknown said...

1st of all, sir...they say; "Do not wash your dirty linen in public". Since its in public and an open discussion, i will say....MARRY ANOTHER WIFE.


mousa mie-mie

Anjola said...

It's a tough one. she grabs someone else' boyfriend's dick in the club & suck (18+Video)

Anonymous said...

First of all,go and learn how to write proper English...then we can start from there.

Anonymous said...

Take care of your children and marry another wife my brother...

Anonymous said...

U r not a caring husband, u think dat providing for d family makes u a good husband but no matter how much money u giv ur wife,as long as u r not caring, its all in vain. All u nid to do is to show ur wife some Love and watch her spend her last kobo on u!.

202 said...

Bro am sorry 2 say u have married d wrong woman...anywoman that slanders her husband to poeple can kill him. I once xperience this in a relationship and i had to run.To tell u ur wife is cheatin on u is wastin time bcos u know that already...havin said all this i will advice u not to leave her try to work tins out for ur children sakes...manage ur money wisely this time.Good luck bro.

Awe said...

I feel you should let her father know and hear what he has to say, after which you can do anything that makes you happy your happiness should come first but don't let her know of payment she obviously married you for her comfort. Best of luck

ANYA IKENGA said...

Believe me she no like you or u no sabi do.

Donjazzycrush said...

1# she is keeping bad friends 2# I don't support ppl to cheat but just have a side chick and let her know u do, leave the house without telling her and sleep out for 2 month. she will change.... mbok.















Don~jazzycrush

Anonymous said...

Some women sha..don't inform her ,get a side chick to open her eyes that marriage is for better for worse . I don't get why some ladies can be so ungrateful to nice men .

Please in all don't leave your marriage but teach her a lesson . You are even a faithful fellow thump up .
Don't fail to always draw closer to your maker ,he is always near

Unknown said...

take time and watch her and then discuss it with her

Anonymous said...

It's very simple stop begging her n move on with ur life but Dnt forget to care for ur kids, by d time she sees u no longer send her she go turn back to u. Shikenna

Unknown said...

Jesus is Lord,my brother it is well,everything works for a purpose, we are not all perfect, we are just trying. Fine,she as shown u d way out,but that doesn't mean u should go out,we are all humans,anyone can fall into d pit,my brother i won't want u to do wat is in ur mind,for d sake of the children, just take time to study her more,start doing ur responsibility back,she will be the one to regret and believe me, she will come begging soon,it is well

Unknown said...

Wow!!! I think you should do what your instincts tell you. You don't need us to tell you she's a selfish person and her people are bad too. Marriage is not easy and we are reading just your own side. Just talk to God Oga and do what your heart says

Bammyking said...

Tell her u r getting married to another wife.

Unknown said...

Don't tell her nothing. Don't take another woaman for now, look on God for direction.

Anonymous said...

The worst thing That can happen is when a woman falls out of love , she is obviously having an affair , don't tell her about the money that was paid to u, call her and seat her down and ask her if she is still interested in the marriage then take it from there

Unknown said...

Send her packing and face ur children

Anonymous said...

For the sake of your kids, make peace with her. Trust me you do not want to taste what it's like to have another wife whole your first wife is still alive. Women don't handle stress and problems as smart as men handle it. so u should probably learn how to understand women better. Since u ve been paid, go home call her and sit her down tell her all she has been doing and how surprised u are at her behavior jst cos things were bad for u, end d conversation with d news of the money u ve received. She will probably beg for forgiveness, forgive her and fix ur marriage. Everyone has their own problems but they don't think of getting a divorce, trust me u don't want to go down dat road. Onyenwechinyere@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

For the sake of your kids, make peace with her. Trust me you do not want to taste what it's like to have another wife whole your first wife is still alive. Women don't handle stress and problems as smart as men handle it. so u should probably learn how to understand women better. Since u ve been paid, go home call her and sit her down tell her all she has been doing and how surprised u are at her behavior jst cos things were bad for u, end d conversation with d news of the money u ve received. She will probably beg for forgiveness, forgive her and fix ur marriage. Everyone has their own problems but they don't think of getting a divorce, trust me u don't want to go down dat road. Onyenwechinyere@gmail.com

Unknown said...

Bros Pls move on that woman is not a wife, she's not the type that stands by her man and you went through was God showing you what you've been married too. I've been there too trust me you need to move on, she's not worth it.

Unknown said...

Don't tell her about the money. Pretend as if you don't see her, don't ask for sex.
Carry on unperturbed.
Send a private detective to monitor her, and if she's cheating on you, confront her.
If there is no respite..... your guess is as good as mine!!!

Awe said...

I feel you should let her father know and hear what he has to say, after which you can do anything that makes you happy your happiness should come first but don't let her know of payment she obviously married you for her comfort. Best of luck

Donjazzycrush said...

1# she is keeping bad friends 2# I don't support ppl to cheat but just have a side chick and let her know u do, leave the house without telling her and sleep out for 2 month. she will change.... mbok.















Don~jazzycrush

Unknown said...

My brother run for your life. Marry someone els but u have to shine your eyes oo els same mistake will occur again. Don't know there are such people in this our generation

Anonymous said...

Sup bruv,dis is my 3rd year on LIB,i usually don't comment,i just come in 4 my news,reads comments,laff @ d funny ones and sign out,but dis ur story is sooo touching d@ I just have 2 say somn,first and formost we are in an evil generation,where wives kill husbands and vice versa,from what yuv said,it's obvious d@ yuv been living with a stranger all dese yrs,and let me warn u she can kill u if it get 2 d@ so u need 2 be xremely careful...but d fin is she can never be a life partner,dis one cannot take care of u when u are aging,infact dere's no Luv @ all,dont tell her about d money,cos may God 4bid assuming dis is how ur conditon remains,den u r doomed 4 life,one day u'll come and discover d@ she has absconded wit d kids with anoda rich Guy,so b4 she pulls up a suprise,u pull urs fest,she needs 2 xcuse u from dis marriage period

Anonymous said...

End the marriage now for your own good and l believe God has shown you little secret you never knew all these while ... Wake up Its A dream

Unknown said...

Sir,i would advice you to look for a young mistress...she has another partner already.

Popcorn time said...

Please don't inform her about your current financial status be calm and don't think about another marriage events will unfold itself.

Unknown said...

Bros! I guess u were upset when typing this, do u know d xter ur new babe will bring later on, you've got 3 kids... save ur money, face ur biz, do what u are meant to Do as d head of d family without asking for contribution from ur wife and see if she won't beg for all she had done.

Oyedun O. Mayowa said...

Dont say anything to her. Shes destroying her self

Donjazzycrush said...

1# she is keeping bad friends 2# I don't support ppl to cheat but just have a side chick and let her know u do, leave the house without telling her and sleep out for 2 month. she will change.... mbok.















Don~jazzycrush

Anonymous said...

Bcos the truth is as far as she and her family r concerened,u don't xist,very sad but true....

Anonymous said...

it is in times like this that a spouse know the type of person he/ she is married too. now u know the type of person ur wife and her relatives are. so be wise. this type of wife will leave u and ur children for another man without looking back. smh

Unknown said...

Plz dnt tel her abt d moni, jus pretend dat u stil dnt hv dat moni,and giv her gap for lyk two mnths. Den u wil c dat her reaction wil change ova u

Anonymous said...

Behave like u haven't been paid the money and watch her closely. Only then can you determine what you want to do.. If you decide pay ha back her money and face your work.

Anonymous said...

Pls leave her asap, bt Dont stop taking care of d kids

Unknown said...

Leave her nd run she is nt ur wife again, cos if she finds out about dat money since she doesn't find u attractive again she might kill u jus to inherit dat money.

Unknown said...

Brother your story is really touching.... My word to you is that is time for you to be very close to God.. Don't think of getting marry to other girl pls. Be prayer full. You will see the hand work of God in your family.. Don't ask she for sex give her time...is the time to give your total life to God. I promise it will not be long you will see the goodness of God in your family... Do me dis favor anytime she is going to work speak God bless tell her she is favor she is bless. The hand of God is upon her do it everyday.. Don't quarry with her I no how you feel but God will take control...God bless your family may the hand of God rest in your family in jesus name Amen
Linda Jesus Pikin

Anonymous said...

Your asking what you should do? Give me the money to hold for you.. that is what you should do!

Unknown said...

Brother your story is really touching.... My word to you is that is time for you to be very close to God.. Don't think of getting marry to other girl pls. Be prayer full. You will see the hand work of God in your family.. Don't ask she for sex give her time...is the time to give your total life to God. I promise it will not be long you will see the goodness of God in your family... Do me dis favor anytime she is going to work speak God bless tell her she is favor she is bless. The hand of God is upon her do it everyday.. Don't quarry with her I no how you feel but God will take control...God bless your family may the hand of God rest in your family in jesus name Amen
Linda Jesus Pikin

Davido's driver said...

She is a witch , period

Unknown said...

He should stick to d wife if he loves her and keep providing for d family except his in-laws. Should also start thinking of starting a business and not depending on contracts from d government cos d delay of payment is certain. Don't let ur wife know any of this but keep providing for ur family. God bless u

Anonymous said...

I understand what you are going through, trust me it has happened to me before, it's just their way of life. If you don't have money in your marriage no woman will respect you. You need to ask yourself what you actually want. Cos if you go for a mistress, it's will satisfy your sexual urge for a moment but you will never be happy. Get yourself busy with games on your phone and stop complaining about her pressing her phones when she is with you. Just pretend like u don't care. Pray hard, get rich or die trying. You need to take the bull by the horn. In my own case since I bounced back on my finances my wife started behaving normal again. But women why?

vivychoco said...

Chai dis is rily a bad situation ooo ND I dnt knw wot advice to give. well leaving your marriage isn't d ryt tin to do ooo cos it might affect yr kids. ND u nid to go to her parents ND talk to Dem. Just go alone am sure tinx will work out differently for u. Good luck

Unknown said...

If she can do those within nine month of finacial challenges then you don't have future with her.

Anonymous said...

Young man.you married the wrong woman. If what you said is true. A woman is supposed to cover her husband s shame. Recently I wrote my wife a cheque of 500m .felt good doing so cos in the past when I was broke....no one knew....she always covered my shame.God bless her. Stories like this let me know I married the right woman

Stevo said...

My man, the handwriting is clear on the wall that she doesn't love you- she saw you as her meal ticket. As much as I wouldn't want to advise you to leave your marriage especially cos of the innocent children- the you might need to secretly do a DNA test for the children too- just to be sure, you have to be careful in that marriage. An unfaithful woman is a ticking time bomb... Don't let her know of the good news, but you can resume paying for the upkeep and other things but nothing extravagant. I must also say that most women change when there's financial turbulence in the house sha.

Unknown said...

Some women are really stupid! So u see? When d going was so good with u, she was practically worshipping wherever u stepped on??? Αи∂ within †Ñ’ξ 9months that things went wrong with ur job, she started acting insane. Its when u don't really have, that's when u'd know whether ur gf or wife really loves u. 90 per cent of ladies in Nigeria always fail woefully in this test, they really flop. That's when u'd see their real character.

See eh, my advice to u is, since she has refused giving u sex, threaten her with divorce.....tell her ur fed up with her αи∂ wants out ...don't disclose ur been paid by govt to her so u'd know her reaction....from what her reaction is will give u insight as to ur next move! She's crazy... When so many ladies are praying for a good man... Imagine a man (Nigerian for that matter) seeking permission to cheat....















#iT wiLL oNLy geT beTTer
#It MuSt enD iN prAise

Anonymous said...

U b mumu, u stil deh ask wht 2 do after wht u went through. Bomb her out of ur house.

Unknown said...

Some women are really stupid! So u see? When d going was so good with u, she was practically worshipping wherever u stepped on??? Αи∂ within †Ñ’ξ 9months that things went wrong with ur job, she started acting insane. Its when u don't really have, that's when u'd know whether ur gf or wife really loves u. 90 per cent of ladies in Nigeria always fail woefully in this test, they really flop. That's when u'd see their real character.

See eh, my advice to u is, since she has refused giving u sex, threaten her with divorce.....tell her ur fed up with her αи∂ wants out ...don't disclose ur been paid by govt to her so u'd know her reaction....from what her reaction is will give u insight as to ur next move! She's crazy... When so many ladies are praying for a good man... Imagine a man (Nigerian for that matter) seeking permission to cheat....















#iT wiLL oNLy geT beTTer
#It MuSt enD iN prAise

Anonymous said...

Very simple!!!continue acting lyk u av nt been paid 4 atleast 3more months if she still continues,go to d bank and withdraw a lot of money and gv to her..now it's ur turn to start acting up,dnt eat her food agn,mk sure u re set 4 work b4 she wakes up,keep late nights and mk sure weneva u re at home chat wt friends,laf unnecessarily..she is gng to beg u and pls dnt 4give her easily..#wish u luck#

nekkyville said...

Ignore her..but dnt cheat.she wud come bk to her senses..

Anonymous said...

She is a bastard, a gold digger who only smiles with u in the good times. Look at all what she did to u when u were broke.be happy she did that so God has helped u to know the kind of person u married.my advice to u is that firstly don't let her know u've gotten ur payment.get urself a very pretty mistress start sleeping with her steady, makesure u get one u can get married to.never beg that ur stupid gold digger wife for sex anymore.u too just turn ur back on her.be responsible for ur kids upkeep alone.i am sure she's been sleeping around when u didn't have enough to give her.its time to get her own fair share of her actions.get a mistress and make her know u have a mistress if u like u can go-ahead and marry her. Some women are very useless.all they know is money.shame

sylvia said...

Please do not let her knw..that woma is a witch..agnt of darkness..just be smart about it

Anonymous said...

Try to resolve things with her. Women would behave in such manner except the ones with God's fear. Accept that period as trial time. Also don't tell her you've been paid, because she might change. Still stay penny less and contribute to issues concerning ur children. They are the benefit of marriage aside love. Consider their future with ur about to find mistress. No one can be as ur parents. So resolve the issue. I am a man knowing the implications of masturbation to the penis. God will help, just call on him to ur aid.

sylvia said...

Please do not let her knw..that woma is a witch..agnt of darkness..just be smart about it

Anonymous said...

My brother you need to punish her and have a mistress now that you are able, she is a very wicked woman and does not deserve a good man like you be wise she was just after ur money !!!

Anonymous said...

Please do not take any action you would regret later. Getting a mistress is not just an option. A woman will always be a woman, i'm speaking frm a lady's point of view. When there is money,love grows but as soon as it finishes den love starts to depreciate. Your story is related to my elder sis story who has been taken care of her family for d past 9 yrs including her husband simply because d guy lost his job and culdnt get another ever since. At some point,she started misbehaving, not allowing the husband to touch her. The started started harrasing me,wanted to sleep wif me. It went on and on and he never allowed me rest until I asked him one day y he's been doing all dat,he said my sis deprived him of sex. In other to save my sis marriage,i left home and got my own apartment. I did not have the courage to talk to my sis, so I told her best frend why I had left d house. You know someow d case was settled and now they are living happily. I believe communication is key in marriage, apologise for not being able to cater for ur family for months and let her knw ure ready to discharge ur duty as d husband. Ignore all what you've been suspecting, and don't bother catering for her family coz they don't deserve it any longer. As per the money government paid u, you need to tell her, she has d right to know but of course use ur discretion. You don't have to disclose d amount received.

Funmi

Anonymous said...

1stly u intensify ur prayer.2ndly if ur wedlock involved church and u are heavenly citizen,u are forbidden 4rm marrying another wife.3rdly,inform her close associate and ur pastor if u are a church person.God will c u thru

Mo said...

Nice when men go thru all this! If na woman now, u men will do as if u don't know she needs u too. Now, table is turned u are crying like a baby... take it to God in prayer!!!

Unknown said...

Whaoooo!! Thats touching! Just do what u think is best for u and marriage.

Unknown said...

That's sad experience, I think u should play along, let her no u have bn paid and see if her attitude and that of her parents changes . If she starts caring again, then is obvious she's a gold digger , if not then there is something wrong in your marriage.getting second wife @ this stage isn't d best.

Adaobilinda her sexcellency said...

Eayaaah I feel ur pain man. Remember what the bibles says about a man who cannot provide for his family n household is worst than infidelity also a wife is meant to be ur help mate. From your story she supported not that she was d one paying all the bills. And what she's earning is enough to support you. She got it all wrong bcos she felt she was not living up to her former standard. I blame you for not allowing her support you from the beginning bcos shes ur help mate so she's meant to support. That inability to support hv really entered her brain n she felt she was wrong supporting you when it was needed. She's not meant to starve you sexually bcos bible is against it for married couples except if she's fasting. And I won't advise u to look for another mistress, u hv 3 kids already face ur family even that ur wife now that u re Ok. Treat her well to pay her all d evil she's done to u. Do not tell her anything just continue doing d way you used to do. I belt you, she will go down on her kneels one day, cry n beg you for all she's done wrong.

Unknown said...

Wollup mehn. Do you think she really loves you or it was only for the benefits?


OKORO UPGRADED

Unknown said...

Hmmmmmmmm u need to resort to serious prayers. Women! What do they really want in life. Bro, just pray and try to amend your ways with her with the help of her parents, your pastor and family friends. All the best.

Anonymous said...

Are you a child of Almighty God? If yes! Then go on knees first to pray for forgiveness,wisdom and grace. Don't invite anybody into this issue. Sit her down, pray first with her which might seem strange to her and tell her everything. you have written here.I pray it. get. resolved in Jesus name,Amen.

@joyugwu said...

Hmmm, some ladies sha, first you have to know that marrige is a no divorce thing, you have to make it work, take up your responsibility and pretend as if you didn't notice her change in character, when she starts giving green light, taljk to her about her previous character change and also pray about it, talk to her as you will talk to your sister if she wronged you...you just need to know that you need to work more on your attitude from hence forth...talk to her fam also sand clear the negative information they have about you. please like this page on FB 'truly faithful' by PAV and OEV...that page have helped me alot. I pray things works out well with you and the wife of your youth

Unknown said...

U married the wrong woman........But its till death do u both part...
U both need counselling

Moye says so via BB Passport courtesy LIB....

Unknown said...

Awww so touching...please u need to talk to her ...it wasn't easy for her I guess...9months but she wud ave understand better though..the tot of u having a mistress should b out of d way please

Unknown said...

Why asking us what to do did u tell us before you marry her
Oga face u warrant every aboki with him kettle.

@joyugwu said...

Hmmm, some ladies sha, first you have to know that marriage is a no divorce thing, you have to make it work, take up your responsibility and pretend as if you didn't notice her change in character, when she starts giving green light, talk to her about her previous character change and also pray about it, talk to her as you will talk to your sister if she wronged you...you just need to know that you need to work more on your attitude from hence forth...talk to her fam also sand clear the negative information they have about you. please like this page on FB 'truly faithful' by PAV and OEV...that page have helped me alot. I pray things works out well with you and the wife of your youth

@joyugwu said...

Hmmm, some ladies sha, first you have to know that marriage is a no divorce thing, you have to make it work, take up your responsibility and pretend as if you didn't notice her change in character, when she starts giving green light, talk to her about her previous character change and also pray about it, talk to her as you will talk to your sister if she wronged you...you just need to know that you need to work more on your attitude from hence forth...talk to her fam also sand clear the negative information they have about you. please like this page on FB 'truly faithful' by PAV and OEV...that page have helped me alot. I pray things works out well with you and the wife of your youth

Anonymous said...

Get another mistress and spoil her silly.

Anonymous said...

Let's say if I was you..do not tell her yet about your recent pay from the government ,meet playing the card right .I would go ahead and find a mistress but leave a second marriage out your thought for now. Don't know how much you love her but if it's faded away get some evidence of her infidelity and head straight to court. u deserve to be happy and ur kids can give you that happiness .some women just gold diggers

Unknown said...

If she reads this blog, she automatically knows you have been paid, hence the car is settled. But bro, that lady is inlove with ur wealth not u, pray about it and seek God's counsel.

Unknown said...

Now you know the kind of woman you're married to, don't give her parents a dime again they are all gold diggers and don't let her know you have been paid.just make sure you continue with the family upkeep.Don't even beg her for sex but i will advice you never to look outside.if it holds you too much, carry your bible and start reading it or better still put on a soul lifting gospel music.do as if she doesn't exist again but make sure you take proper care of your kids and the upkeep of your family. I asure you she will be the one crawling back begging you. Some women eeh just because you were not paid for 9 months she changed.even her parents no do well.

Unknown said...

Hmmm...marriage councillor let d advice start dropping in.



Enter your comment...

Unknown said...

call ur Pastor ; go for counselling

Anonymous said...

divorce her without thinking, a woman that cant stay with you when you have a little financial crisis doesnt deserve to be with you when the money comes back

Angie said...

I think it's time ppl stopped bringing martial issues to the internet; speak to a qualified counsellor, or better still, sort it out yourselves. You've been married for quite long not to understand each other.
My marriage is clocking 10yrs this yr and I can confidently say there's no problem we can't deal with ourselves by the grace of God.

Good luck Mr Sex starved.

Muna said...

Obviously, it's cos u haven't been providing. Her attitude is wrong, yes! My advice, tell her nothing, but start providing. Watch her moves, then take it up from there. Don't break the marriage, for the sake of the kids. Ignore her every move.

nuga said...

divorce her

Unknown said...

Ask a man of God.... Odikwa very serious ooooo

anonys said...

If what you say is the whole truth then you haven't found ur partner. You should complement each others flaws. She will leave you the moment you have nothing to put on the table.

Anonymous said...

She didn't love u she only wot she care abt is ur moni Juz bcos u didn't meetup for only 9months she tink dat is de end of de load for u, n her parent r nt helping matter Oga watch it oo u see other side of dem cos de tot government will nt pay

TOCMIL said...

My dear brother life is like that some times. My advise to is this: don't marry another lady but u can keep a younger lady to meet ur sexual needs and desires. Also since u now know that it is all about the money, keep your payment secret. Pls stop masturbating it won't change anything, especially when u do it in her presence.

Unknown said...

SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH IN YOUR MARRIAGE, IT IS THE DEVIL'S AT WORK BUT BE PATIENT WITH YOUR WIFE. ASK FOR WISDOM FROM GOD TO DEAL WITH HER AND THE PARENTS. DON'T TAKE IRRATIONAL DECISION OF DIVORCING HER OR GETTING A MISTRESS. THE CONSEQUENCES ARE GREAT AND UNIMAGINABLE.OVERTIME, YOU WILL COME OVER THIS PROBLEM AND YOU WILL STILL ENJOY HER. 1 CORINTHIANS 13:8 SAYS LOVE NEVER FAIL. CONTINUE TO SHOW HER LOVE OF GOD. I WISH YOU THE BEST. GABRIEL, LONDON

Anonymous said...

Let her know then have a rule she must start contributing towards maintenance of the home. Even if it's 10%. Dunno why am saying this maybe because I don't want to advise you to divorce her. Start with makeing sure she drops 10% atleast and see her reaction.

Mo

Anonymous said...

bros abeg for anoda marriage and don't show d new lady dat u ok .if she will luv u she for wu u ar den ur wife will know ur value.don't nid tu argue or tel ha anytin

Anonymous said...

she never loved u for who u r at first...lets just say she married your financial status and not you. i am a lady also but i would never do dis to my man to make him.feel less. i would advice u to be calm,pray and make a wise decision cause of your kids. God bless u.

Anonymous said...

Don't let her know you've been paid, keep meeting your basic obligations to your family and go on with your normal life as if nothing has changed. It's only a matter of time before she asks for a divorce but don't let it come from you

Unknown said...

I understand ur plight quite well and I believe ur marriage can still work with enough tolerance......u need prayer plus u need to understand d fact that ladies have chicken brain....u jux need to handle all of ds with care, because even if ure looking at a new marriage wah do u know she will turn-out like.....obviously u'll say she will b a better person after tabling ur marriage faults with her, my dear a new wife won't change ur life......u jux need to b very mature abt handling ur marriage particles and b strong.

Anonymous said...

Kindly get one of those lekki runs gal... Pay her well and let her f**k your brains out... After which u will gently go back and work out things with your wife. Kapish.

Unknown said...

Okay...
Try not telling her about the payment still, provide for your kids and don't look at her side for a while.

Also pretend not to be interested in her too. It's clear she is in the marriage because of money + she's stingy.
Stop providing for her parents they are not your responsibility your kids are

Anonymous said...

Wicked woman . Kick her out

Anonymous said...

Don't let her know, beg and let her know you don't want to cheat on she should fulfill her sexual obligation and hear what she will tell you. Secondly, try pay your kids school fees without her consent if she finds out, tell her you borrowed.

Anonymous said...

Call a meeting and dont tell them about the money, if she can't still settle after the meeting.. Move on and look for a woman that will respect u even when u are down,, truth is bitter,, she married u because of what u had then,,most women enjoy loving making when money is flowing

Anonymous said...

This is exactly what i,m going through now. Everything written here is my current predicament. I feel like taking me life sometimes and sometimes i wonder we got to this point. A man loosing his source of income and not been able to provide for the family is worst than death. in my case my even tells the children how she pays all the bills and provide for them and i have completely lost my respect in my home and she and her family members makes fun of most times. Bros,you are not alone in this.For me i will advice you get another wife as iam already planning same as soon as things normalizes.

Anonymous said...

Call a meeting and dont tell them about the money, if she can't still settle after the meeting.. Move on and look for a woman that will respect u even when u are down,, truth is bitter,, she married u because of what u had then,,most women enjoy loving making when money is flowing

faith o said...

she loves ur money, just let her go so dat u ll go and marry another wife. but make sure u take Care of ur children.

Eddy Ogbunambala said...

Find a more accommodating lady, life is too short

Unknown said...

For your wife to deny you Sex is terrible. You need to sit her down and talk as husband and wife if she didn't change you then inform her parents, don't ever tell her you have received your money, if she didn't change then I think she has found a knew guy out there . and it is left for you to continue to stay with her or walk out of the marriage.

Anonymous said...

Go to shrine and get some headies bro!

Unknown said...

Throw her out of your house, she only married u for money

loveth kikelomo said...

Hmmmmmm all is well.....

chuklegend said...

Thank God you are not paralyzed or sick, you would have regretted the day u met her. There's no explanation for wat she did at all. Sadly she's still your wife

Unknown said...

Some women shaa , I don't even know what to tell u bc is obvious she loves ur money not u. Just be watching her for the mean time and no what she's up to

Unknown said...

Do what your mind tell you we are not here to discuss family issues..Linda observe carefully

Unknown said...

the mistake has been done from the onset of the marriage with pampering her with comfort and feeling she does not need to contribute to the welfare of the family, if you were to provide 70% and she 30%, then she would understand that it is her family also. you never complained when you provided all but when she did it just once or twice, she is complaining and for sex, i will prefer you start living your life back, dont tell her about the money, bring back that glow into your life, new clothes for yourself and kids, dont cheat on her but pretend you do, let her make the first mistake, because i have a feeling she is cheating and you need to catch her red-handed before nullify the marriage, then take another woman if you want to. find a way to solve your sex life by putting your mind to other things you do.

Anonymous said...

It is said in the bible dat am man dat cannot provide for his home is worse Dan an infidel.though that shouldn't av resulted in ur wife starving u of sex! Pray about it but pls don't seek any other mistress outside.that money u got bak wld be squindled by the so called mistress in a short while.try and reconcile wit ur wife.

Anonymous said...

LMAO!!! Dude is she the only woman around??? Oga babes wey go dey service you full streets instead of you self servicing yourself. Did you also say she deletes all her chats??? Oga she is cheating on you BIG time!!! you dont have to divorce her though, just bone chicks around and dont even give her any attention or even her family lol. You dey beg your wife to Lamba?? WTF!!! instead make you tear pant from her yansh and give am one hot Lamba hahahahahaha. seriously dude just keep boning chicks outside and dont delete your conversations, dont get attached to them chicks either.

Unknown said...

My broda marriage is for better and for worse and I think this is the worse aspect of it. So endure it she's your wife.

Unknown said...

Hmmm...mehn this is really bad. And a hard one to advice on. But from what I understood from this, she just married u cos u were able. I can't advice a divorce or taking of a second wife cos it will affect ur kids. But why don't u just neglect her for the mean time. Put up a drama, stop asking for sex entirely; dont know how u will cope but just try not to ask for it. Act like u don't care. When she picks her phone to chat, pick urs too or turn on the Tele and watch. Act like u don't even notice her. Focus on urself and ur kids. Do this for like a month or two and watch her reaction. Then from there u can take ur decisions. And mind u, don't even tell her about the outstanding that they paid u. Just do ur spending and normal house upkeep. Allow her to ask questions and never be straight in ur answers. It won't be easy but try. God will see u through.

-LIB PIKIN-

Unknown said...

Hmmmm

Unknown said...

Your story is very touching and even as am reading am very angry for you, Women and money.
First of all congratulations on u finally been paid, I no that feeling when u can now think and begin to focus properly.
Don't tell your wife about the payment, rather try and seat her down and talk to her, remind her of the past when u were the bread winner.
Also ask her what she wants, is she ready to support you now that u don't have!
Bring elders to the picture, let them talk to her cos the oath is for better for worse till death.
If after all this and she still the black sheep u never saw when u loved and cared for, then my brother you can do as u please.
Take care of your children, be a good Father and cut her off the budget for 2 months.
Turn the tables around.
I won't really encourage u to get another mistress, but for ur urges I believe u can take care of that maturely.
But let her family and urs know the situation, there is no need keeping them out of the picture, 10 years is no joke.

winilicious said...

For the sake of your kids temper justice with mercy,how sure re u d new wife or mistress wld not be worst?but all those things u do for her reduce them since she has a salary let her fend for hersef,purnish her den let learn her lesson but dnt neglect taking care of ur kids,put her in her place cos she dos'nt deserve to be treated nice.

Okloho Spenzo said...

Hmmm..dats y I don't like d idea of payin a lady's bill while she's still in sch.My opinion; she ws in love with ur money,dats why she married u.my advice,continue pretendin u r broke! She might live u,if she does dat thank ur God and move..btw her parents are ungratefull..don't border calin dem

Pearlie said...

It's obvious she married you because of money. However, two wrongs can never make a right. don't leave your marriage at least for the kids. Well, go to God in prayers for a change of heart and never stop talking to her. All the best

Unknown said...

go buy a new car get home in d night with a good suit. and yell "sweethrt God has done it". give her d keys and and u guys drive to a good restaurant eat and drink. then hand a d letter saying "this is the surprise" b4 she opens it take excuse and go out.drive home and lock d door. she just read her divorce letter. goodluck. I hope u guys don't wake d neighbors.

Unknown said...

Narrate this to your Pastor..... Go for counselling.. Broken home is not the best. You don't no who the next woman will be.

Chumarh said...

Divorce that bitch...she's there for the money

#KING_KHALIFA said...

Before u do anything remember marriage is for better or for worse, how ever if u feel u no longer comfortable with the marriage honourable leave it

Anonymous said...

Let her go and drop ur kids for u

Unknown said...

talk to it pastor and seek for advice...

Unknown said...

Marriage is a life time journey nd also a covenant so u as a man u kip d covenant irrespective of what she might have done. Be a man.

Unknown said...

My brother ..its actually a 2 way thing ...its obvious she married you because you were capable...but something she did not remember is that Marriage /life is not a bed of roses something can go wrong at any time. My brother women are not wired to take care of the home ....they are only wired to make babies. My brother but the best lady is the one that will always understand that she has to help out when need be. I like the fact that you have not started cheating ,you must be a good man .....a lot of girls out there would want to have you . stay in you marriage but treat like a hoe cos that's what she is . its a case of money for hand back for ground.

Unknown said...

Now that is the thing about women.when men provides for the home they think is so much an easy task to do......well,brother i think your wife has started to cheat on you and the best way to know if she still loves you or she's just mad at you for not been able to provide for the family for that time is to make her see you with other women.
And i think you should give that sex part a break for now,don't beg her for sex for now maybe when she sees that you no longer beg her for sex and at the same time she starts seeing you with other women,her reaction to that will tell you if she still loves you.



#XENO-FABIAn

Anonymous said...

Let her go and drop ur kids for u

Unknown said...

That woman don't deserve you no more. don't cry over spilled milk. move on ASAP !

Sean quantum said...

Did u say since she started acting up u never had any side chic rather u masturbated? Wat a man u r. Having a side chic is a good distraction to get ur woman back not thinking another marriage with some gurl. My opinion

Unknown said...

All this long story ain't necessary.....you and ur wife need therapy.

Sean quantum said...

Did u say since she started all this u never had any side chic rather u masturbated? That will hurt u more. U need to get a side chic to distract u and get back ur woman rather than thinking of some new marriage. It's good u have ur salary now. Spend it wisely no gurl deserves ur hard earned money but ur children. Capishe

Unknown said...

buy a new car get home in d night with a good suit. and yell "sweethrt God has done it". give her d keys and and u guys drive to a good restaurant eat and drink. then hand a d letter saying "this is the surprise" b4 she opens it take excuse and go out.drive home and lock d door. she just read her divorce letter. goodluck. I hope u guys don't wake d neighbors.

Anonymous said...

Dear poster please do not try another marriage out cos of ur wife's selfishness. Consider ur children who will suffer this step the most. Do not divorce ur wife nor hate her, bt just remain silent on ur financial stability henceforth. When she notices she will start acting all good back that's exactly where u will prove to her that ur the stronger vessel. Some women are not even ashamed they cant be help meet.

tosisochukwu said...

Bone the idiot, find better mama that is well endowed and flex her and remeba to take good care of ur children oh















































































































!brightosman aka fake phyno .#gerarahere

Anonymous said...

Am going tru d same too,ur useful when u av what they can collect from u and useless when u don't have to give,thats human for u,she can't change if getting anoda lady will make u happy plx do,but pray about and don't let her no about ur money...@yetty ebony

Anonymous said...

This is so normal with women. OMG. I have a first hand experience as well. You are lucky that things have straightened out. Seize the opportunity and take charge of your family now or never. You don't handle such issues with kids gloves.

1. This is an opportunity to stop all the spending jamboree you were doing...
2. A lot of women are like that; Immaturity and the feminist thing currently in the waves aren't helping matters
3. Threaten to move on... she will of course ask you to leave cos she feels theres someone out there that will take care of her... women normally do this but forget that whichever guy is messing with them while they are married is simply doing so cos they they are no burden. The moment she becomes free from the hubby, the guys take off.
4. Inform her that you've been paid, that will make her sober up a bit. Then give her conditions and straighten your marriage.




Anonymous said...

Mr man...face her and give her all this details in front of your parents and hers..there is no need to change your wife..a bird in hand is worth several in the streets. The good thing is now you know her more...

titilope said...

She obviously selfish...try flashing her some money and see the way she acts...u can get a gf to satisfy ur needs

Anonymous said...

Mr man...face her and give her all this details in front of your parents and hers..there is no need to change your wife..a bird in hand is worth several in the streets. The good thing is now you know her more...

Unknown said...

Come and marry me quick is she mad money freaky lady na waooo

Anonymous said...

Practically, she married you for the money. I really don't understand why some ladies misbehave whenever the finances go down. For Christ sake, marriage involves two people. You know what, tell her you just got your money from the government and watch her reaction and body language for a week or two. With that, i guess you have your answer

Anonymous said...

Hi I will advice you to look for a side chick that will satisfy your sexualization.

Unknown said...

My only advise....prepare very well in advance for ur retirement.

Dare said...

What will happen if you enter some very bad financial problem?such a lady might possibly leave u,so just save yourself the trouble and leave

auchrisie said...

Women are shallow sometimes, makes you wonder!! Thank God you have been paid, now you know the type of woman you have..Pls save your money, save money and spend on your kids education, provide for your home but stop giving money to her family..You are not their saviour, they have shown you that they do not have regard for you, but the money you give them. ALSO INVEST IN YOUR FUTURE, START A BUSINESS, BUY PROPERTIES ETC- EXTRA STREAMS OF INCOME, SO WHEN THERE IS A DELAY AGAIN, IT DOESN'T AFFECT YOU OR YOUR CHILDREN.

For your wife, she has showed you her true self, pls tread carefully.. Forgive her but be wise as a serpent, don't throw all your money at her every need pls. A loving wise woman will encourage you and pray for you, telling you that all will be well, not treating you like shit. Don't take another wife( more expenses), mistress( more expenses), manage your wife, but be prudent regarding your expenses on her. If she decides to leave.. FINE. Then you are free. Cheers.

Unknown said...

Woman will always be a woman!

Unknown said...

My dear I dn't even know what else to tell you than to mmove closer to God,dn't look 4 another mistress bcus dat's what satan wants you to do and d solution is not with the mistress instead it will bring more problem and ur hrt not being at peace.just give her some space and pray more.I know dat's not eaasy but just try.

b said...

😂 Why u acting all suprised? You bought ya love.. you put it on yourself fam. Deal with it.. wank to death.

Real Nutty said...

Mschew

Unknown said...

Don't tell her still act the fool and let her use her to chase herself out don't act like u care sef

Anonymous said...

You need to get close to God... Ask for divine intervention and direction.

Anonymous said...

Go to God in prayer brother.

Unknown said...

The issue here is really complicated, but for the sake of your children I'll advice you keenly assume your responsibilities as the head of the family by showering your children with lots of care, take them out let them have fun and with time your wife will know you're back.just treat her as if she doesn't exist and she'll begin to realise her mistakes. And I assure you she'll change her ways and apologize. Please you have to do this for your kids.

Unknown said...

Lol...are u serious? She definitely knows u got paid, u just dropped it on LIB.. well to go with the flow of this gist, guess she is getting laid with another man or other men, even b4 u got broke.. u only found out when u got broke.sad menh.. it's a marriage issh, look unto God if u haven't cheated on her in the past.. but if u have them u know what to do..

Anowai James said...

I don't think you need a mistress or whatever you want to call it because if you repackage yourself she will be the one begging you for sex and attention. Just forgive her but this time around be smarter because you are married to her and you guys have kids, forgive her on behalf of your kids and for the love of God. About the contract money government just paid you, I don't think she needs to know about it. As you said she married you because you were able to foot the bill. If she did all that to you brother trust me she will still do worst if its revenge you seek, because I don't think she loves you in the first place. To me she doesn't deserve your attention the way you keep begging her for "sex" just focus all your energy on being the most attractive man by hitting the gym and also investing the said money and being the wealthiest man she will ever disrespect. Remain blessed

Anonymous said...

its obvious that she didnt enter into marriage for better or for worse. you are a good man, just ask God for direction. i cant tell you to leave your marriage, cos its meant to be for better for worse. i know you are a human being and there is only so much you can take. for the fact you have tolerated this for this long and still you havent cheated on her its very commendable. just ask God to turn things around

Anonymous said...

Use style and tell her that government has paid u ur outstanding money and see her reaction,if her reaction is positive then tell her u wia just joking ooh.men becare when picking a wife.
Linda huz gal

Unknown said...

do not inform her... she is not a true wife.. since she doesnt find you attractive again... then tell her to move on.. if she agrees then you can be freesince you have tried talking to her...

Unknown said...

Marriage is for better for worse...most of us neva see the for worse. We pray for women that would stick with us when we are down cos that's the true test of the love. Bro hang in dere, don't stop tryin to talk to her and very importantly keep praying for ur family. I can only imagine how painful dis is.

Osarhieme Owen Eze said...

It's pretty obvious she married you for your money. Now you know her for the selfish person that she apparently is! I wouldn't advise you to get a mistress now,regardless of how tempting the idea seems. You never know with the women out there : You might just want to give a mile,and they demand 10! Except of course,you are ready for the sex and all its brouhaha..
Now you've got your groove back (financially)she'll begin to see the changes in no distant time. Make her understand that both of you have to cater for the family! You bring,I bring. Simple. If she cannot stand the new 'policy' then show her the door. As for her parents,they are an ungrateful lot! Just play your part by being respectful to them but keep your money,except you're the type to easily forgive & forget. If you must give,let it be from the goodness of your heart and not really because you owe them the responsibility!


Bummyla said...

This Is Serious! Bros You Married a Gold Digger! And I Am Very Disappointed In Her Parents Too! Sorry For Your Loss! But The Signs Have Always Been There! But Men! We Always Choose To Overlook Them, Now It Is Costing You, Your Happiness And Marriage!


FORGIVE HER! But Now You Know She Does Not Love You, But Loves Your Money! Now Handle Her Like MTN - Pay As You Go!


No More Excesses and Extras! Take Up Your Responsibilities and Nothing more!


For SEX! Use Your Money As Your Bargaining Power From Now Onward! She Gets Nothing from you until she has sexually satisfy you! Period!
http://www.bummyla.com

Unknown said...

Getting married to a new wife is not a solution, ask God for direction.

Anonymous said...

For the sake of ur children pls open up to her about the money u receive frm Govt, stop the upkeep u give to her parents nd the home should be kept going by both of you. Let her know all dis though living with her will not be easy Bt for the sake of ur kids don't divorce her.

princeville said...

Broda If ur story is true cos its just ur part we heard plss let dat demon of a wife b lev her ALONE She dosnt deserve u try prayin to God n taking care of ur kids for now

Unknown said...

Bros, u story is currently happening to me now as I speak to u. But one thing u should know is women lve money too much that she will not be happy spending hers. In as much as u did not mention infidelity during the period, just take her back and make peace with her. At least u have known her other side.

nathaniel said...

The worst thing you'll do is take another wife..no try am ooo. U guys made a vow..so you're in it for the long haul. Involve God more in yur marriage and He will see u thru.

Unknown said...

Hmmm, please don't marry another wife cos of your children, pray to God, I'm sure he will direct you.

durnkayzor said...

Just keep faking it bro...Gold Digger for you

Ramson Jay said...

Women are like that, they become paranoid whenever they r in position to pay bills. If truly she is cheating on u, it may be difficult for her to stop despite that u r now financially buoyant. However, don't marry another woman, she will do same if u r broke again, so, just manage her and if truly she is cheating on u, then consider cheating too but don't divorce her.

Unknown said...

My brother, you have seen the real side of a woman who does not really love you. You didn't verify if she's seeing someone else so you may not be able to leave her for infidelity. I think you should do your homework about her and see if there's a good reason for her refusing you. The best way to do that is to flash her money a bit. You can say 5% of what you were owed was paid. That way, she's likely to come towards you. Use that opportunity to do your homework. If anything negative is found, then make a move. 10years is not a joke and for her to say she doesn't find you attractive anymore shows something is wrong.
If it gets very worse, pls find happiness.

Unknown said...

That lady was a trained gold digger... That's why it is good to marry a lady that had being with you when you had nothing. You've married a goat, Ewu, Ime... abscond from that lady cause she's planning your murder already #SirPaddle



Linda pays - Blessed are the meek

Ohiomoje said...

Forgive her. Thank God you are back. Give her all she spent on the family. Let her learn from your lifestyle that Money is not everything. GOD used this experience to open your eyes. Do not be overcome by evelyn, over come evil with good.

chuklegend said...

Thank God you are not paralyzed or sick, you would have regretted the day u met her. There's no explanation for wat she did at all. Sadly she's still your wife

Unknown said...

I stopped reading when I got to the part of you slapping her.. dumbass you don't hit a woman.. never!

tollyjems said...

Don't tell her oo, she should keep up with her evil ways. The woman is a devil, she's good when the going is good nd she's a devil when the going is bad. Talk to ur pastor nd her parents nd see if their talks will help her. But Pls don't tell her of the money yet ooo.

Unknown said...

Do not devorce her, but make changes.make her continue to contribute money to the family and watch her.at least let her pay for her parents upkeep.

Unknown said...

For me sex is not the ultimate in marriage, u can have sex and still the love wunt flow. She doesn't love u, jst ur money but for the sake of ur children stay with her give her the money she wants while she give you the sex. Take up ur normal responsibilities and communicate less with her. Pls dont think of another marriage for u will be doing ur self more harm than good. All the best.

Unknown said...

Lolz,, Marriage is simply a smart journey of no return...My brother u gat ur money,, Plz don't re-marry,, rather u can embark on a suspension tactics,, suspend ur wife for d time being,, give her money to take care of ur kids alone,, and enjoy ur life out dia(u knw wat I mean),, U hve suffered enough....tnk u

Unknown said...

This is their way. Women believe in money more than anything. Just table it to God first.

Anonymous said...

Ahhhhhhhhh..so men suffers too.thats too bad...buh oga still she is ur wife don't make the mistake of having extra marital affair, just pray to God if u haven't been doing so and give it time. U are a man act like one and be a different man.

Unknown said...

Don't tell her about the money but start paying your bills and look for a real job where your income can be coming regularly. Am sure by the grace of God your relationship will be built back. Am sure you have learnt your lesson just forgive for the sake of love and your children.

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