T
V personality Kirstie Allsop has criticized the culture of women waiting until their late 30s to try to have a baby, urging women to have children at a younger age as after 35, it starts to go downhill
"Women
are being let down by the system. We should speak honestly and frankly
about fertility and the fact it falls off a cliff when you’re 35. We
should talk openly about university and whether going when you’re
young, when we live so much longer, is really the way forward.
‘At
the moment, women have 15 years to go to university, get their career
on track, try and buy a home and have a baby. That is a hell of a lot to
ask someone.
As a passionate feminist, I feel we have not been honest enough with women about this issue.
I don’t have a girl, but if I
did I’d be saying “Darling, do you know what? Don’t go to university. Start work straight after school, stay at home, save up your deposit – I’ll help you, let’s get you into a flat. And then we can find you a nice boyfriend and you can have a baby by the time you’re 27." Continue...
Don’t think “my
youth should be longer”. Don’t go to university because it’s an
“experience”. No, it’s where you’re supposed to learn something! Do it
when you’re 50!’
It might sound wholly unrealistic. But we have all this time at the end. You can do your career afterwards. We
have to readjust. And men can have fun after they have kids. If
everyone started having children when they were 20, they’d be free as a
bird by the time they were 45.’
I don’t want the
next generation of women to go through the heartache that my generation
has. At the moment we are changing the natural order of
things, with grandparents being much older and everyone squeezed in the
middle." She told The Telegraph
Kirstie is 42 and has two sons, a 5 year old and a 7 year old. Who agrees with her?
137 comments:
wen God is in charge..... all natural/scientific laws will be put on hold. i dnt believe dis
wen God is in charge..... all natural/scientific laws will be put on hold. i dnt believe dis
i dont agree
Go point but what if you don't find a good man by 30??
Not me
i agree with having kids on time. preferably before 35. but university doesn't stop that. most people who go straight from secondary/high school to uni will finish by 21 or 22. between that age and 35 or 40 sef, see time plenty. plus uni is even a good place to meet a good guy sef
Well-advised.
I agree oooohhh'' my mum had me @ the age of 20 and am 26.... we act like friends 'I pray I get married this year 'ain't easy to be a single parent
Abeg she speaks for herself. Does she know the kind challenges ladies face these days???
I agree with her on having babies early,but as for late schooling HELL NO.The human brain assimilates and understands things faster at a young age than old age.A balance of some sort in early childbirth & early education is YES for me!
I totally agree with her Linda go marry
Linda, are you touched?...
Can't say she's right or wrong, but, I've achieved all and more; not 35 yet. It takes the grace of God tho.
* My R1.50c comment *
I don't....
i totally agree with her
she is not been realistic at all.....even she, could not give birth in her 20s
Linda u don hear na. Lol
what if you can't find a husband? forget good husband o, i am saying any husband period? i guess i should just find someone to to give me belle cos clock is ticking? the same society that looks down on single moms? nah. it's not that serious. i know girls who married at 25 and tehy are still in Redeem Camp praying for babies, 15 years later. life is not fair, i know but God is good.
This baby and pregnancy stuff always make me to vomit like seriously....
.
.
.
***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***
Linda what are u waiting for!!! Oya sharp sharp while stock lasts. Lol
Linda why are you sharing your personal mail? Lil seriously go and born.
Linda shey u don hear ?
Abeg shout out to all d girls that ask us guys to cum in them,Dia reward dey heaven...Some stupid ones go de claim virgin reach 35..When they finally decide to start having sex pikin go hard to find..Have sex now..Have babies at a young age..its good to see ur kid grow with u.....................#KingOfKings
I don't biko
I totally agree with her
I do
And if a baby delayed in coming or a husband delayed in coming go and jump into the lagoon abi???
Kinda true but d university part not okay by me. To get a better job u need a sound education and after d babies wat next. D petty job can't fend for d whole family if things don't go well with boyfriend or if boyfriend has a petty job as her and they have 4 kids ow Dem wan take survive. Truly, we should start early but dat doesn't mean we should through our future away.
I do.
Scientifically, she's right. The older you get, the more difficult it is to conceive as the number of eggs a woman carries reduces yearly. I think 35 is still young for fertility to drop off sha, i'd saw early 40's fertility starts dwindling. Apart from that, getting women who get pregnant at an older age have often found it harder to carry the pregnancy and do other things, unlike younger girls.
However, it's up to women to decide when they want to have babies.
Bitter truth....
Gud 2have babies wen ua young tho'...but,if u plan well,u can still meet up..@d age of 21,ua ardy a graduate, @24-26,u settle down,have ur babies n still move on with life!..
Some people don't have a choice
I dnt knw too much abt fertility, but I see alot of sense in wat she said. Women shuld giv it a gud tot
Some people don't have a choice
I don't agree with her...she is making it sound as if women are created for only breeding. Mtchewwww.
Anyway, what of young women that are having difficulty in having children? And end up having them when they are in their late thirties or early forties?
Its so easy to talk. People have plans, but most plans don't go the way we want.
ROFL! She had her kids at 35 and 37 but she has a point. That she had kids doesn't mean others will be so lucky.
It's no secret that towards 40, the eggs in women start depreciating and it becomes harder and harder to conceive until having a baby is virtually impossible at Menopause.
Yea, from 35 upwards women find it difficult 2 get pregnant, but dat does not mean it's impossible tho.
I agree. If you are going to have kids,have them early! I am 26 and expecting my 2nd child. I am a university graduate too.
Very true.
To each his own. Live and let live. I'd say she's preaching to the choir because women have had that fact about fertility harped to them like it was a symphony regularly enough. We are aware. So I don't know what she means about "the not being honest" bit. The truth is, however, that life very often does not fit into a cute little package that way. Find you a nice boyfriend? Is this nice boyfriend your age mate or someone much older at that young age because then the next question is, is he ready to have kids? Is he ready to settle down? What if he's ready to impregnate you but not ready for the responsibility of being a father? Is every woman in a situation where she will have someone to pick up the flack or even wants to do that? Is every woman emotionally ready for all that? What if he thought he was ready, then feels resentful at not having lived his own life yet and then dodges? Sounds like an unhappy daughter and grandkids to me. Talk less of the woman. What if she starts making babies, then feels so lost in that space that she can no longer find her way out to do what she would like to do. I know a few women and have read of of others who after becoming mothers suddenly realized it was never what they wanted for themselves. Too late! I think her statements are a bit irresponsible. I wish people would stop measuring the lives, abilities and such of others according to what goes on in their own lives. Life just does not work that way. People have to find their way. Decide if they even want kids and figure out how to go about it. You can choose to go it alone, but who would really rather go it that route, so then you have to find someone in the same mental space as you are, ready and devoted to the business at hand and in future. Many women are balancing it, some with the help of extended family and if it works for them, it works for them. Not everyone has a parent,living, able, ready or sometimes willing to set them up financially while they make babies. How about widening women's options and making those options more financially accessible... egg preservation, improved care for older women, etc etc. Btw, according to science men can impregnate women at any age but their sperm is even less viable pass the age of 40 something and it is believed that the older the parents, not just the egg but the sperm also, the more likely the child will be born with one issue or another. Does this always happen. Nope. Lots of women and men have healthy kids at many ages. Is science always a sure thing. Nope. Good luck to her shifting everyone's way of thinking and approaching these matters though. It's a hefty burden.
Yea I agree is quite good to have babies early in life but where by one doesn't find a husband what happens then?linda am asking u!!
There is a lot of sense in this.
This woman is not serious at all, what if at that age u have nothing to bring up a with child or have parent to rent u a flat
I am a man and I have been thinking this for a very long time. It is about time we as a generation stood up and did something about the order of things. Kirstie makes a very good point in this article.
9ice talk bt wat abt u ve nt seen d man4mariage@35 so wil u jump in2 havin kidz& stil living wt ur parents?God help me i ned a hubby&kids am already 32...
Linda, I forgot one point. She said get a job after what I presume she means secondary school. What kind of job? These days a college degree is all that might get you a decent pay in certain industries. So you will be struggling from pay check to pay check all in the name of babies. Then what puts you in a good position to raise them and educate them successfully. It can be done but it will be hard as heck... why put yourself through all that. She will have to change the entire way in which universities, companies, everything works.
I do agree wiv her and like say, I'ld rather have my daughter go to a polythecnic dn a university. It's just a waste of time for we women. My opinion nyway
So what are u waiting for Linda? Bera have kids than have no hubby n kids.
I don't think so!...depends on wen one starts her period either early or late..shez talking out of point biko!
lol.Having a baby at 27 sounds like fun. #THINKINGOUTLOUD
I actually agree with her. I've gone to University, I'm unemployed still! Not sure what I want to do. I'm 24 by the time I've gotten a job and saved enough to start paying a mortgage, I'll probably 37. And between that time and now, how do I find a decent guy? No one say uni, at 18 - 21 no one is that serious to date, especially if you are a lady, you're better off dating an older guy out of uni.
Her 1st son is 7, that means she had him when she was 35. I'm not 30 yet but I suggest she takes a seat and stop scaring ladies who are in their 30s and still childless. Having kids early is really nice but what about women who are finding it difficult to conceive even while they're in their 20s? I don't think any woman fancies the idea of having kids late but in many cases, it's not deliberate. Medical conditions and other health factors could be the problem. As for the university part, I believe that only applies to people outside Nigeria. In this country, what good job can you get right after secondary school? When people are getting Phd's at 50, she's saying one could start a degree program at that age? Msheeeew! Not in Nigeria please!
Hmmmmmm #bright bravo#
Which kind talk be that, Linda biko comot this mumu woman
And if she's still single @ dat age? Give birth @ home?
And if she's still single @ dat age? Give birth @ home?
It sounds very wrong, but I do completely agree with her. Women above 30 are so much under pressure from every one including themselves, whether they agree or not. If there's a way it can be dealt with earlier in life why not and face other things as life goes on. No matter what u achieve as a woman, if u are not married with children the society every where will look down at u. Always!!
Yes, I agree with her. I experienced the drama of fertility problems when I was ready to have babies at 37 years old. Our society stigma that a single woman with a child has really messed most women thinking. Scaring of the uterine is a big problem facing our women because of abortion. Even one abortion or miscarriage can lead to uterine scaring.
for a reason i understand what shes trying to say. her major point is have kids early. I think thats because of the way they live in the states. In Nigeria, a lot of women go to uni, get a job and still get married at 25/26. for a country like Nigeria where women want to get married early, her comment isnt really directed at us but maybe American women who ensure they have a career before they settle down and have kids.
But hey, while wait till you are 50 to start a proper career, life that long isnt guaranteed anymore.
dats true oo ,hav kidds bfor u go 2 university ..i already did her stlye cos i had 2 kids n am now in d university level 200 .
aunty linda, over to you ooo
For people whose career goals require a college degree, they should wait till they're 50 to start building a career? This woman isn't really making sense...
I totally agree with her. I had my 1st at 28, pretty easy to conceive and easy pregnancy. I'm now 32 been ttc for 16 months plus one miscarriage. I wish I had made all my babies before turning 30.
1st to comment..... Sister asili, you don hear am oh.
i jus hope my girlfriend is not seeing these
True talk. Linda Ikeji do quick oh. lol
Hurry, get yourself a sperm donor. We had ours early. Ha-ha-ha!
I agree with her.
So what was she waiting for? A 7yo and 5yo at 42 and shes preaching. We don hear
So agree!! Our parents did exactly this back then came westernization and new culture, and life became hard for men and wanna talk abt equality and school and make money...so life is now harder for guys and they get married now in their 30's and women in their 30's can't find man to marry. I'll personally advise young women to do it the Genevieve way or marry early like Omotola!! Get the kids out of d way early then pursue & enjoy life and career!! Chikena
I don't.
I agree with her on early child birth bt dnt agree on d education aspect
naaaa!!this is pure trash mahn!!i totally disagreeeeee!
Pls lady is ok... Don't deceive d young ones plsss. Women are doing fine... Sure is hell of a work for us but this is something women hv been doing. If a woman can do it, I wonder what is stopping d other to do it. No body marries an illiterate nowadays. Abeg abeg, park well... My niece dey enter dis blog abeg.
Kirstie Allsop is not a fertility expert, she is a TV personality/presenter.
Na tru oh, chai! Make I go help my land lord daughter out
I do. That's why I'll marry v early in shaa Allah
Sort of true...but God everly dey
Okay what if d person is nt yet married what will happen or will she get a baby by force
Taarrr make dis woman rest boh! Everybody now na expert. Msheeww! No be forty something women dey carry bele born witout complications. Its God dat has d final say mbok!
It's certainly a very logical argument. But the way the jobs system is skewed especially in developing countries like Nigeria, you'll be looked down upon/discriminated against, for not getting at least your 1st degree by a certain age. There is such blatant ageism in the system with vacancies openly specifying age limits for the few available positions. Her suggestion will not work in Nigeria, maybe in the UK where they cannot discriminate against age so openly, but even there, one will have limited career progression choices - senior executive positions in blue chip organisations would be out of reach.
Am in my mid thirties single nd also believing God for a nice spouse as I dey enter husband houz am conceiving ijn
All i have to say to that woman/women out there trying to have a baby or trusting God for a baby even after the age 'Madam the expert' admonishes should please don't give up..keep trusting.keep believing...remember,it is God that has the final say and not any expert or whoever..this same expert,is under someone higher than her called God so she's not all that.God bless all u ladies in waiting and come through for you all.
Hmmmm...... The most suitable age for a woman to get pregnant and be delivered with the least complication is between 18 and 25. So a doctor told me. But economic circumstances/career/life is anti this. I kind of agree with her tho
I do one hundred percent I keep saying this to everyone but this ndiocha think they have forever. About the university part if u can afford it also go while you are young don't wait till ur fifty please.
I don't agree that women should put off school and their career to have babies, there are women who pull off being mothers, graduates and career women. But I do agree that having babies is best done before 35. Your eggs age as you get older thus making conception more difficult. Some may say there are women who have gotten pregnant in their 40's and even 50's that's also possible but realistically tougher. The process of getting pregnant, going through pregnancy with all the morning sickness and pain that come with it especially that back pain is better experienced when you are younger(20's and early 30's). A lot of mothers can testify to this. Few years ago the United states reduced advanced maternity age from 35 to 33.
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Dat is true
i concur to dat of early child bearing, is the best. but university at 50 i disagree.
It used to be that women could have children for as long as they menstruated. What's the reason for the change?
I agree with her...!
My dear it is easy to say,I got married at 29 and my marriage is five years now I have been hoping on God for the fruit of the womb but still looking for solution to our low sperm.
I don't agree with her totally, as a woman, u can't force urself on a man, some women r destined to get married early while some are not, I finished Uni in 2010 and I was goin on 20, I got engaged d next year while servin,got pregnant and got married dat same year 2011, am goin on 24 now and I ve 2kids,boy goin on 3 and d girl goin on 2! With more more to go by Gods grace but hopefully I shud be done with childbirth by 26! Aint I blessed! Its rily a thing of joy to ve kids early, people just don't believe my age and dat I ve kids...at d same time fingers are not equal, if God dint say it wil happen like dat in urs den it can't so she shud direct her talk to people who just feel like dey ve to wait maybe bcuz of work and stuff like dat
NA WO O ! YOU SAID IT ALL ZENKI.LINDA,THERE IS NO NEED TO ACCEPT ANY OTHER COMMENTS BCOS ZENKI WRAPPED IT UP FOR SURE !
i totally agree. I am 41 with kids 9 and 5. To have anymore has been tough, I am leaving it to God. But I also wonder where I will get the energy to manage a new born. I see loads of the women here who pop out their kids at 20 years and how lovely they look at 45. My boss only graduated as a social worker in the last 5 years and is already a team manager. Her first child is 24. She is relaxed and happy and the kids have graduated and are working. She has her whole life ahead of her to grow a fantastic career and she is well on the way. Retirement age here is 65 but I doubt she will need to work for that long. So there are plus, may be more plus's than minuses.
Go and disvirgin all d virgins na....foolish comment.
Chai I don dey old o and I never born finish.
Impregnate urself i guess
with God all things are possible
Fertility may be falling off for western women living in highly polluted societies, air, water, food. Synthetic chemicals in everything and everything laced with chemical additives, these are the women for whom fertility is falling off at 35. However, there are women who live very natural, closer to nature in purer surroundings who are giving birth easily even up to their senior years.
Bloody crap!
what kind of a feminist advocates this?
The way some people repeatedly challenge Linda to go and marry is sooo inconsiderate! Did she tell you that she won't marry if she gets a man of her choice?? It's you guys that will reign abuses on her if she was caught with another woman's husband/boyfriend, or if she jumped into a union with a riffraff. Linda abeg don't listen to them o, some of those that are ranting are waaay older than you and still single, with no form of achievement whatsoever!
It's these types of comment that have driven some ladies into the hands of brutes and monsters, which have led them into untimely deaths in some cases.
You people should stop this nonsense for the love of God, u're causing serious damage with such insensitive talks!
she is right, early child bearing is very good, am 29yrs and i have two kids.
Not going to the University will affect the quality of life you, your husband/boyfriend and kids will have. Going later will not change the fact that you've missed some basic enlightenment already. There's a HUGE DIFFERENCE in the lives of a graduate and a secondary school leaver...
I'm curious why she didn't take her own advice. She had her first kid @ 37!
Thanks for pointing that out. Am not going to bring Any kids to this world if I can't afford to provide her the way I want to
I solely agree with her!
I'm married with 3 kids and 2degrees at 34. She is talking rubbish.
Why didn't she take her own advice? She had her first child @ 37! Just curious o!
She is right about having kids early. But get a good education, pray for a good husband. A good home I'd important. With different medical issues, fibroid and all, early pregnancy is good.
Kirsty is NOT a fertility expert. She is just a big woman with a big mouth who thinks she needs to tell everyone else what to do.
Well in America where people start the pill at age 12, yes, you mess up the hormonal system and approach menopause early. Not the same if otherwise. Second, her point of view is elitist. For you to put your career on hold in a foreign country at your early age to have babies means you are living in a "one income" family. this is a privilege, not the norm to many who are not WHite. Only White people with inheritance and a loan free start in life can support their wives in east coast and west coast cities in the US. Unless of course you want to live in a war zone. So she has looked at the world through rose colored glasses afforded the White people and her comments reflect that.
@lindaikeji that's true. I'm a biologist in USA
Thank dear... I pity some peeps mind. Mtcheeew ! She tinks this Is oyibo land where u use SSCE to get a job. So what is she trying to say,if you are 30 and still single u can be a single mother or what?I wonder what that daughter of yours will become with this your theory.
I Disagree. With her somehow,i will not rent a house for. My daughter and ask here to get. A boyfriend tha willt get her pregnant but i do agree that ladies should get married before they are thirty .
Am just 19 now and I got married when I was just 18 so am planin to have 1st baby when am twenty cx I want to grow up with my kids I want us to b like sisters or friends....and that won't stop me from still goin to skull or getting a career...even in my pregnancy I would still b attending lectures and all that won't stop me from achieving wat I wanna achieve In Life and I have a very supportive hubby that sees me through all d way...I wanna b a young momma initially I was gonna wait till I graduate and all but now am cravin for it I just wanna at least have 1 for now and wit dis article am so gettin pregnant late dis year or early next year....can't wait any longer hehhehehe
I only believe what God says...n there is nothing difficult for him to do.
Omomo
Yes fertility is a problem. But what if women don't get to be married till they are above 35? Not any fault of theirs...we don't encourage out of wedlock child birth in Africa...she should know this one.
true talk
let them know
BORN TO SHINE!!!
Edreams must u always comment like d fool u always called smh. Anyways zenki said it al nd i kinda agree to her giving birth at an early stage is really d best, 1 the body relaxes n prepare for oldage,
I agree with having children early cos there r many medical conditions related to late child-bearing e.g down's syndrome.but not going to Uni early? Nah....u can finish university, get married and still have children at an early age
Linda come n ask for my hand in marriage...
I support everything this woman is saying 150% !! I am surprised she has this mentality being a non naija woman. If I knew I would have been done having kids before I was 28. Once you are over 30 you uterus is prone to fibroid growth , endometriosis , non viable eggs etc. No one tells you these things to you start living the life and then your medical practitioner starts dropping these bombs on you. Ladies please don't wait, have your kids as early as you can before age 30. Pray to God to bring you a good man who will father your children. Society needs to be more honest, the level of infertility even among our 20somethings is astounding , talk less of ladies in their 30's and 40's and then talk about carrying a healthy pregnancy in those advanced ages after conception is a whole other headache!!
All of a woman's eggs are present at birth. They can not divide or be "resupplied", whereas sperm are produced constantly after puberty in men.
Eggs age over time, while new sperm are constantly coming off the production line.
i totally agree with her...i beleive that after the normal secondary education a child should learn a skill and start a career after which raising a family can evolve.When you start early things always fall in perfect place.I for one attended the university but my kids sure wont,its the main course of moral decadence and filth in the society today.so yes,i agree with her.
Time was when our mothers were married off in their early teens. Then came Western education and they had to postpone marriage. Meanwhile the hormones are raging! The result is that we see our girls responding to nature's call - by sleeping around. I am sure if our mothers were not married off so early they would have behaved like their daughters today. By the time most girls are 13 or 14 they are biologically ready to start breeding and our forefathers knew this so they married them off. What is going on now in the name of advancement is not natural and that could explain a lot of what is wrong with our society. We have moved aware from nature and nature is impartial and sometimes brutal teacher. I agree with the woman. It just means we have to stop and rethink some of the things we have always taken for granted.
This Kirstie Allsop was on BBC Question Time two weeks ago. Such an irritant!
Not true, I live in nig and incorporate a healthy diet and lifestyle. Still I battle infertility. I ve 2 kids but ttc for almost 2 yrs now.
I disagree. i'm not yet 35 and i have 3 degrees, great career, and married with kids. Do I still have fun? Hell yeah! Not a fairy tale story but God's grace has made things lighter to bear. That's her point of view, this is mine. Guess there's no right or wrong way to go about it, except the skip university part! Is she joking? would she be an 'expert'if her mum had told her to go straight to work after school and skip university?
Ur comment is quite grounded and with depth, but the must have done her research on womanhood, parenting, career path for women to highlight the red flags on obtainable what women find ideal speaking from a feminist point of view.
Snick, u have it all. All fingers are not equal likewise every woman on the planet. I agree with having kids on time but what about other factors?
Its better to put the pieces together rather than be one one sided.
OLA LIB
She is right.....our parents had us all at an earlier age....why can't we follow same.... Only for quest of money fame and d likes...... U can have ur kids the right way (not put of wedlock) and still continue your life the way u want it
Lol. I wonder o!
D guy na real gbef! A big SHAME to any girl that has allowed dis big fool 2 av sex wiv dem! Mschewww!
It's always easy to talk. So should she make women desperate. God's time is always the best. Ladies may marry early and still not have kids on time
I think this gives all the single women (yes! I call you women)who are waiting for all that 'perfect dude' a whole lot of thinking to do. Especially MY DOROLINDA. Wondered how you felt after reading this note...Sometimes I just feel so angry whenever I recall the post you made sometimes in 2011/2012 about your experience in an airline...you know what I mean?!
Write more, thats all I have to say. Literally, it seems as
though you relied on the video to make your point.
You definitely know what youre talking about, why waste your intelligence on just posting videos to your weblog when you could be giving us something enlightening to read?
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