Dear LIB readers: I'm cheating on my husband and I feel no guilt
From a LIB reader:
I've been married for a number of years now with four children and I was a very faithful wife until a few months ago when I discovered that my husband was having an affair with a close family friend. He had cheated on me many times in the past but this particular affair was the last straw. I decided to pay him back. It was supposed to be just that one time, but the affair has been going on for a few months now. My husband has started noticing my constant absence from our home and my distance from the marriage. I've also become very good at lying about my whereabouts. The issue right now is that despite the fact that I love my husband, I feel no guilt whatsoever. I've never even made any move to stop the affair. Does this make me a bad person? Is there any woman out there who can help me make sense of this? I didn't even know I was a woman capable of this. Why don't I feel guilty or care that I'm betraying my husband?
But pls all of u calling her ashawo and slut, what have u called the husband. So its ok for him to cheat with multiple partners and wrong for her to cheat at all? I beg quit this hypocrisy o. We r all human beings and have the same needs.
Is his dick sweeter, longer and more succulent than your husband's own?If yes, Please enjoy well O jare.Just wear a condom sha or let him give u his certificate that he is free of STDs! After all the pain u are going through u need love, attention and caressing.Women who cheat on their husbands have had the last straw. I occassionally go on dates with other men.This is after loving a man who is always cursing at me and ignoring me(No hugs, kind words, only abuse).I have not slept with any other man since we exchanged vows,but have considered it seriously. Just make sure he never will find out, be very slick sha as women are better players. God will forgive the both of you.( This is my flesh talking, may God forgive me)
the story doesnt add up completely. how did a man conveniently appear just after your husband cheated. it is likely you have been flirting or you have an atitude that makes you approachable. your reason isnt enough a decent woman would never cheat. especially after 4 kids . where would she even find a man sef. or be brave enough to go through the antiques of cheating.
lets be frank you had it in you.
you just found an excuse. and quit the self validation. the reason you havent stoped is cos u ilke the sex and new found attention.
i dont know about other men. but even if i sleep with the whole Lagos i cldnt stay with a wife who did the same. i know it sounds ridiculous. but u cannot be a woman and live like a man.
From what i have read from dis post, i have seen that people dont respect the institution of marriage, and 'some' women see nothing wrong with paying back a man's infidelity by sleeping with other men not caring about their reputation..... May God help us....Ani James, abeg take am easy, u sound so raged....Kelss on point
u're a nincompoop! Hav u eva tot of how ridiculous u wil look to ur children if they hear of it? I rgard u as som.1 dat is promiscuos in nature but constrained by marriage, who now tink she's got a good excus to exhibit that stupendious nature of her. U don't pay evil by evil.two wrong neva make a right in case u don't know.
i find it funny that some of the comments{obviosly from women],would commend this lady and even quote the bible and spew righteous anger at the fact that the husband cheated. dont judge me until you walk a mile in my shoes. thats wat i say. you guys dont know half of the story and you judge the man!!! Humans are so swayed by emotion that is why the world is in the state it is. For me ,i will not judge but only say it was stupid not to talk things over with your husband and at least bring out the humanity in him. I know good men that have wayward wives. I have been hit on by a couple of young married women and two of them have great husbands. Why? Values!!! From experience ,for every man that cheat an equal proportion of women cheat. Its 50/50. Know your values. Know your spouse and the battle is almost won. Many rush into marriage to people they hardly know and cry foul when shit hits the fan. Lady you did wrong by cheating on your {cheating] husband. it puts you on the same level as the rest of the disgusting breed.
U have no right to call her that,u abusive man.What about her husband who is neglecting her and causing her to sin.Do u know what she has been through, the pain and abuse to make her seek solace in another man's arms.You are tripping, Check yourself. Instead of giving positive advice u are abusing her.
I still wonder why some women are so naive about certain sensitive issues which could break the home apart. In the African context what is the role of a woman? a match for a man or a home builder who is supposed to bring the husband back to his senses if he seems to be going astray? if your husband is cheating on you , do you think cheating on him will bring him back to his senses? Well i am sorry my dear but you are only causing more havoc to your home. Let's be sincere, in this part of the world there is "gender equality" either you like it or not. If you want to be a boss lady then you should have been raised the "western" way. Call your husband and talk to him , let him realize what he has done and i am sure he will be sober and won't do it again. Toks
So far, I ve seen 90 comments here and so many of dem ve spoken frm d wife's angle or rada insulted her therefore supportg her cheatg hubby. My parents ve bin married 4 24yrs and for 20yrs my fada remained outside d country. They remained a couple and my fada was quite active in our lives but I didn't get to meet him until I was 20 meaning he travelled out wen I was four. My mom of course found out he had birthed oda kids but kept it away frm me. As I grew older dere I found out wat he had done. As a child of d family, to say I was distraught wil be undermining wat I felt. I was devastated bcos in all 20yrs of his absence, my moda a devout xtian, remained faithful. Neva for once did she luk back on d vows she made b4 God and man. She continued to say d best tins abt him and constantly reminded me of ow God says we must honour our parents therefore creatg no room for hatred or disrespect. Today I am a graduate and u no I ve got my job wich is quite gud and I remain so proud of my mum for neva cheatg. I wod ve bin too ashamed if she had decided to sleep arnd aldoe she may ve bin justified. I don't know wat happened to me but I ve 4given my dad aldoe he hasn't confessed to us and is still kipin it al safe bcos he doesn't want to lose wat he has wit my mum. Dearie pls stop it for d sake of ur kids. I cried my eyes out wen I found out abt my dad and 4gave him witout a second tot but I wod neva ve 4given my mum. I am payg her back 2day for al she is bin thru and dats y most women remain in deir marriages til date. It is not always easy but God is rilly gud at compensatg women. I am not married and ve done my best at kipin myself till date. Adultery is d last sin I wod eva tink of. It may take more dan 20yrs but u will be compensated 4all u ve gone thru.
I still wonder why some women are so naive about certain sensitive issues which could break the home apart. In the African context what is the role of a woman? a match for a man or a home builder who is supposed to bring the husband back to his senses if he seems to be going astray? if your husband is cheating on you , do you think cheating on him will bring him back to his senses? Well i am sorry my dear but you are only causing more havoc to your home. Let's be sincere, in this part of the world there is no "gender equality" either you like it or not. If you want to be a boss lady then you should have been raised the "western" way. Call your husband and talk to him , let him realize what he has done and i am sure he will be sober and won't do it again. Toks
U r jst a comon prostitute lookin 4 loophole 2do evil.do u ever think u can ever beat a man on d war of cheating? Do men get pregnant? Wat if ur man decides 2bring his mistres as a second wife can u do same wit urs? Men wil always remain men and women wil always remain women.d most honorable thing 2do in situation lik dis is 2 warn him and seek 4 a divorce if it persists or better stil, pray 2 God.It's no longer 'if u cant beat dem,join dem'.it's 'if u cant beat dem, leave dem'!@least 4 integrity sake!
Some LIB readers are fucking hypocrites.....She asked for advice not judgement..DAMN!! Can you just make a comment without judging......... Bitter people fill this world....
My man ceat, I go cheat. If armed robber come my house and police no help, Me too go turn robber. If oga drive kill my son, ago kill his son too. If the other person shit for back of my house, me too go do am.
I cheat on my boyfriend and dont feel guilt. We have been together for about 2 and a half years and plan on getting married. I love him to death and can't leave him but i cheat on him with 2 other people. There are just some things we can not explain.
CONTINUE U ARE A WISE WOMAN, HE WILL PUT U ASIDE ONE DAY, WEN UR CUP FULL, THAT MAN U ARE FUCKING WILL NOTMARRY U, BUT HE CAN MARRY ANOTHER GIRL. U ARE ASKING PPL TO TELL U THAT U DID A BAD THING, IS GOOD CONTINUE OK, BUT DNT CRY WEN IT HAPPEN
From my experience ,sleeping with someone else doesn't mean you don't love him. My dear sis, Linda , no one can give you a better advice than yourself, everyone on LIB have different perspectives, from different background, have different relationships so what do you think you can get here ? You are the only person that knows from your heart if what you are doing is wrong or right ,if he deserves it,if you should forgive him for the other things he has done very right,maybe he is bored ,you don't interest him anymore etc you can tell. Dialogue may help. I wish you the best Lots of support from me whatever decision you make.
For the woman that said her husband isn't cheating,I love your believe ,I hope to trust mine and be bold to say that.hope you have shock absorbers. Powerful you.hmnnnnn.
I had to reply because you have spoken my mind. Men think they are the only ones who can cheat. They will quote bible and tell you an adulterous woman is worse. Their own interpretation. The society is rotten men think its normal for them to cheat. Wicked selfish humans who know not what the meaning of love is. Sad! Only GOD can help us find GODly men.
All I want to say to you for yourself and your relationship with GOD do not carry on cheating. You have no love for your husband anymore yes you have history and care about him.do what I'd best for your sanity. But cheating is not the way.
See your mouth typical Nigerian mentallity hissed. So it is just the woman the man has no equal part to play in keeping the home. You sound like a cheater. A serial one infact. Grow up and handle your responsibility as a man. Stop putting it on the woman because you cheat.
i feel you baby girl,Nigerian men think they are smart.My husband has always cheated on me and as a faithful wife i just prayed.I got everything money can buy and he say i love you a million times those are the husbands you have to watch out for.However, i met this hunk on a trip to Dubai,yes not married and he swept me off my feet.He has done so much for me and to tell you i have 3 kids and he wants kids from me.He has introduced me to all his friends and boy when we make love he explores my body we have just returned from this vacation from i will not say and i hate for my husband to spoil it by touching me.All of a sudden my stupid husband does not want to go out and it is affecting my movement.He just woke up last week and said he just both two first class tickets and we should go to cape town .Linda i don't want to go i will miss my babay so much.He called me yesterday and wanted to talk all night and my husband was sitting by me and i kept saying na wa for you to him .Now i am in a fix because this mantouches me and i go gaga and i don't want my husband around.My husband now says the driver must take me everywhere and i am used to driving my car around the island by myself.However, my children are in in school and i have never had this much love. Linda ,do you know that love can transform you?Everyone is asking why i am looking so young.i know he put tracker in my car and cunny man die cunny man burry am.I park my car at shopprite and the rest is history.Stupid man and come to think he is the one now wanting melike mad.One night he came back so drunk and you could tell he was at a club and kept using bad language let me show you i can still f'''''k you like no other.Meanwhile i make sure none of my friends know about this my love triangle. I wish he could just say it is overand i will run for it.The best love making i have done is when my foolish husband leaves home for his escapades and if you have not tried sex phone and cyber sex pls try it.It is safe and satisfying.When i watch him on my lap top and i look at my flabby husband the next day i feel like telling him to take a hike.Oneday my husband told me that my breast was going flat and the love of my life tells me hey baby it come with child bearing i love just the way you are.I am going crazy because i want to be with him.His two kids have spoken to me in America and they say they cannot wait to see me.Their mom anigerian said she could not stayin Nigeria and took the two kids back to America and that was 15 years ago.However,they are still very good friends and she has since moved on. Linda you see nigerian men,they are the bigger fools you need to see what married womenare doing inlagos they are having their groove on.The best thing for this stupid husbands is what i am doing and it is so good when you do it with someone better looking and more loaded than them and don't judge me bacausethese men deserve what they are getting.
If you feel no guilt, why seek for advise? If you love your husband, why cheat on him? Does two wrongs make a right? What example are you portraying to your kids? Do you think your cheating on your husband, as a payback, make you a better, fierce and powerful person... the wife of the 21st Century, yea? Think about it, if you do not feel guilt, you should start feeling it. He is your HUSBAND, not your BOYFRIEND... Be wise.. end that extra-marital relationship. Your integrity is all you have, guide it with honor.... na the money i get to borrow u, na him i don give u so.
Na wa oh,how will having sex with someone by a payback for your husband wen he doesn't know?I find it really disturbing that a lot of people think adultery is ok.no matter how u paint it what u are doing is plain right wrong...a normal person would have mayb deprived their husband of sex or talked to his mother or confronted the other woman but u just went straight into another man's bed (by the way,the guy you are sleeping with is sleeping with someone else too,u just dey give am free p*ssy,na your loss)...really means you had adultery in your mind a long time before now...not meaning to b rude but you are a clear case of people who do not know what marriage is about...take your husband to church!u both need to attend marriage class agn!
So your husdband has given you an excuse to do what you always really wanted to do? At this point, the devil in fully in charge of your lives. And he always carries hidden consequences. I feel sorry for your children. If you don't get HIV from your cheating husband, you will surely get it from your boyfriend who probably has many of you.
In Africa, Nigeria especially, men cheat and get away with it. Even when the woman knows she still does everything to krrp her home. Ma'am, there is no way to justify what u r doing ryt now. u will not be able to handle what will come when the man finds out. cos no one will be on ur side. No one will want to know if the man slept with ur friend or even sister. if u are a christian, u need to ask God for forgiveness and retrace ur steps as fast as possible. in some cultures, the man will fall sick and die or the children will start having strange illnesses here and there. However, it sounds a bit contradictory when u say u love ur husband yet u don't feel guilty cheating on him.
its really unfortunate that most people dont realize that sin breaks the hedge of protection on us and leaves in its wake curses.the sin of marital infidelity leaves its distinct mark on the children.manifestations of the curse will come on the children and ofcourse on both spouses.woman,for the sake of your children and their future,stop and go to God in genuine repentance.Pastor Uzor
I watched a Yoruba movie recently where a woman had a higher sex drive than her husband. She constantly wanted to have multiple hours of intimacy while her husband was fine with one or two rounds. Well she mentioned the situation to her friend who then took her to a mallam for indigenous herbs to stimulate and strengthen her husband's manhood. She slipped it into his food. Next thing you know, he was servicing her to her satisfaction. Unfortunately, the husband wasn't physically strong enough to bear the effects of the mixture. And one day after several rounds of sex, he conked over and died of heart failure.
So the woman tells her daughter, who also had a strong sex drive this: there are three things it takes to satisfy a woman in a marriage/committed relationship. 1. Things to wear 2. Things to eat 3. Something to put between her thighs. The mother cautioned her daughter that when a man and woman are not on the same page with regards to all, especially the third one, it can break up a relationship. Either the man wants sex more than his wife, or vice versa.
I said all that to say this, the spark in the OP's marriage was gone. With the man's cheating, there was probably no love, certainly no trust, and mutual respect was gone.
Without those three, or seeking to re-establish them, the OP will find it difficult to stop cheating completely. She tasted of the forbidden fruit and found it to her liking.
She's not asking for advice people. She's simply asking what cld be wrong. I know exactly how she feels. My hubby has cheated on me and it was very hurtful. I also wanted to cheat on him but I just wasn't ready for such mentally. Honey, the truth is that you feel no guilt because you do not love him anymore and you're just still in the marriage because society expects you to be there! If you wanna work it out and love him again, then just cut off all communication with your lover and focus on your hubby - shikena.
Why are we so quick to judge? So quick to give opinions! Half the people here are probably doing much worse! Please "Mrs Married Woman" find your own salvation. We as country are not virtuous or moral so what gives us the right to preachto others?
paying back evil with evil makes no scene. you just told us that u will do wat ur husband did if u were to be a man.at this point ur husband is much better than u cos u r doing urs as avenging wat he did and not only dat u hav turned ur self into wat u were not wen u r single which WHORE but it never too late to mak a change and go back begin a wife cos if u tink u r not filling guilt u r mistaking cos if u r not u won't be making it open for people to help u out. there is still time to change.
Don't cheat or stoop low because of any human being. If he is frustrating ur life it is more homourable to leave the marriage. Be responsible for ur actions, cheat becos u want to and not becos someone pushed u to. At the end of the day ur assumption about his affair might be wrong and then what? The Devil has come in and u r caught up in lust. Marry the man ure cheating with and u might find out he's even worse than ur husband. Is the man ure cheating with better?just cos of false compliments u think he is? Wake up! he's only enjoying a cheap thing, another man's wife. Respect urself as a woman..that's all I can say. But if u want to cheat don't blame it on ur husband. Do it cos that's what u want to do.. Full Stop.
i dont get why some readers would call her a slut or an ashawo..my goodness, she asked for advice,,if you find it difficult giving advice move to the next story..its so sad that we have reached a stage in our lives when it is ok for a man to cheat but an abomination (as one reader said)for a woman to do same.shame on anyone who is of this belief..young lady my advice to you-its time to end the affair and begin to work on your marriage,,am glad you still love him. all the best
I feel ur pain soooooo much cos i ve been in your shoes, it came to me as a rude shock as i tot he was one who would never cheat based on our discussions etc in the past. Bad enough a young guy even going after a married woman who he introduced to me as a friend and i did patronise her for the services she renders. Smh
It has crossed my mind so much to do the same but the only restraining factor is the grace of God and i tell my self if he puts his hand in fire would i do same? Never.
The truth such men always end up meeting their destruction in different ways, my advise is desist from the act, go to God in forgivness and catch your fun in other ways, he is just a part of your life so dont give him the oppprtunity to ruin your entire life. if his immorality act continues and u think u cant handle it then u take a walk. life is too short.
THE FACT THAT YOU FEEL NO GUILT MEANS THIS MARRIAGE ENDED A LONGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG TIME AGO....YOU SHOULD BOTH STOP FOOLING YOURSELVES AND GET A DIVORCE...
Your bad habit have eaten you up and you have certainly loss your conscience as a married human. Two wrongs never makes a right. You better retrace your steps before your husband dumps you.
the only reason it didnt remain a one night stand is because you are enjoying the sex so much. you have found di..k that is sweeter than that of your husband. my dear, ride on that dic...k well for as long as you can. when and if you get tired, move to the next sweet dic..k. make your husband dey fool himself, thinking he is cheating on you......i laugh in warri....THEOTHERWOMAN...
i feel ur pain dear(from experience), but cheating on ur loser hubby wouldnt make u feel any better.
I would rather walk out of the marriage if i cant live with deceit, than come down to his cheap level and sin against God.It's all about your values. A cheater is not worth the trouble.
For better for worse doesnt include infidelity.
But if u still love him as u say catch ur fun any other way,Life is too short and it's beautiful.
I am married and also just discovered my husband has been cheating on me since 2008...
I recently met up with an old boyfriend who was always a DON in bed. As i speak to you all we already have a hotel room paid for today friday - sunday. I am going to fuck my brains out...NO REGRETS. in fact just thinking of his dick is making me wet right now...heheehee...
as you hypocrites want to start insulting me, remember YOU WISH YOU WERE ME hahahahahahahaha
@ Temmy, you didnt have to put ur own advice na since u dey shake ya head @ some1 asking LIB readers for advice, na wa for the way people comment sef... My Lady, just go to God for direction, He is in the best position to guide you right... Vengeance hurts more than the primary situation...
I feel ur pain soooooo much cos i ve been in your shoes, it came to me as a rude shock as i tot he was one who would ever cheat based on our discussions etc in the past. Bad enough a young guy even going after a married woman who he introduced to me as a friend and i did patronise her for the services she renders. Smh
It has crossed my mind so much to do the same but the only restraining factor is the grace of God and i tell my self if he puts his hand in fire would i do same> never.
The truth such men always end up meeting their destruction in different ways, my advise is desist from the act, go to God in forgives and catch your fun in other ways> he is just a part of your life so dont give him the oppprtunity to ruin your entire life. if his immorality act continues and u think u cant handle it then u take a walk. life is too short.
Romans 12:17: Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men.
You must call on the Lord to help you when vengeful anger or resentment begins to rise in your heart. You must ask the Lord to cleanse you from those evil traits and give you His love, patience and His solution to your predicament. He has the power to change other people's attitudes including your husband towards you if you keep your heart right before Him. Remember, He sees all that is happening and He will rescue you if you cry out to Him in faith. He can change the heart of your husband the circumstances surrounding the problem in your favor, if you trust Him and ask Him to forgive and bless you and your husband.
God slap all the folish men and women condemning this woman. the man who is cheating loves her so well that he had to cheat to show his love. thats why we are as backward as we are here. he can cheat but she cant.what rubbbbbish. may God slap all your mouths a trillion times. backward minds, if he cheats get a fine younger handsome bobo and do your thing. if he discovers let the heavens fall, hope u have a job. does any one talking here know the pains of knowing your husband is cheating on you? may God slap any supporter of such and their generation.what is good for d goose is good for the gander. what u wish dt someone should do to you do same to him or her. for ur info am married with 3kids and will not take that shit again bc i have been there. by the time it was obvious dt i was doing my thing, family meeting was called and today everyone respects themselves bc he knows i wont look back doing it again or leaving him bc i wanted so much to leave him and move on. rubbish. its a man's world indeed.until you come out of it, you will all exist here and die and not truly live your fullest. you will wake up crying, sleep crying bc he is cheating when you can do same. akuko.
Change your ways and ask God for forgiveness. Pray for your husband to change. Please don't work out of the marriage for your children's sake. That man wit you now might not love u after all.
Two wrongs dont make a right. If you are tired of the relationship, then walk out but dont forget about the children involved in whatever decision you take.
Well, i think you do not feel guilty because you already justified yourself from start and have given yourself reason to feel good about it. Simply put, you've killed your conscience.
The solution to a problem is not revenge. At the end of it all u are not hurting anyone but yourself. Being adulterous has it's consequences. Think about the future before you let a moment of anger and quest for revenge to consume you.
hardened heart is a result of ur un4giviness..you shuold know its your life that is being destroyed and your dignity is fast eroding...........stop this and forgive him so you can get your conscience back and be a loving wife that you were.LET IT GO
infact half of all of you that posted a comment are so judgemental ... all of una wey yab d girl na yaba left una suppose go if the place no take una make d rest go aro for abeokuta
Any one that judge you right here is already judged bu God. I'm sorry about how you feel at the moment, but that you go cheating won't bring your hubby back to his sense. You need to commit your ways to God and ask that He fights for you. If not for God's sake, but for your kids, quit cheating. Someday your hubby will return to his senses if hes not under a spell.
i know it hurts but cheating is not the way out neither is walking out of ur marriage.smh...put it all in the hands of God before taking any step.get closer to ur husband and explain tins to him apologize and make up your mind not to cheat again.its hard but its better to hear it from you than from someone else
u say u r trying to get back at ur husband by cheatin on,ok soo the man does not even knw u cheatin on him.u r just giving urslef freely sum oda man.#SOLUTION,Tell him u knw u knw is cheating on u and u want a divorce and see is response
That's very nice and thoughtful of you Rose....Instead of spewing hate. If someone you love kills,do you kill? If someone you love steal,do you steal also? You might be hurt but it requires mental strength to do the right thing. -warriboi
Paying back is when he knows what u are doing too. If he doesnt know it is not paying back na. He shld know that u are aware of what he is doing and u are doing it too as revenge. My dear, u are only hurting urself and the guilt will remain with u. There is no amount of sex that will make u feel that u ve paid back. U will still feel cheated.Sex isnt the solution. He will still win in the game. Just take it to God in prayer and also talk to him abt it. U will feel ok if u talk to him abt it. Even though he doesnt change, he will feel the guilt and he wnt make it obvious anymore. And u sef, stop being suspicious. It will help. Dnt take all the wrongs he does too personal. U will have heart attack oh. If u are not working, pls work. continue to be a mother and a wife, be happy, enjoy life and leave revenge for God. Sometin will happen that will make him realise and stop one day. 9 days for the thief, one day for the owner. God will definitely touch him but not when u are doing bad too. Wish u the best luv!
wats wiv all ds comments .....190? kilode.its their body, its their cock $ pussy..they can do watever dey wana do wivit.if they re happy fuckin around, fine. if they re not, fine.dats their problem nd issue.i advise yal go face d challenges ahead of yal.
hmmmn after reading her story and a large portion of the comments , i have to the realisation that people live deceptive lives eg. living in a marriage u are not happy in just does not make sense my dear lady pls live and stop this deception, it will only hurt u secondly i guess its majority of the male folk that are calling the lady a slut, who said it was ok for men to cheat ??? MOST DEFINETLY MEN, giving that we live in a patriachal society. but thankfully women are becoming empowered so they dont need to sit and take the crap men dish out to them cos they want a name change MRS thats so yesterday!!! finally if u trusly luve ur hubby confront him, discuss the hurt u feel and extract an apology and promise of change if none comes just get a divorce peace
Purrleez!U are not serious at all.Did u ask LIB readers for advise wen u found out he was cheating with ur family friend?y shud our opinions count now? u're a freaking adult.deep down u know wat to do.dont expect pple to pep talk u or give u a Dr Phill's speech.
u handled ur business by cheating back so handle it now its all messy.stop asking for advise n do wot is right. I'm not going to judge u but just know that u've messed up just as bad as he did.right now,ur not any better dan him n u did not have sex with this other person at gun point so 4get about the "he pushed me" line.so practicaly NOBODY pushed u or forced u to do anything.its just a way to justify ur actions in ur head. is it possible for someone to push u to kill?if u pull a trigger with a gun pointed at ur head,its understandable.I'm being extreme cos i want u to see how silly and senseless the whole vengeance thing is. I'm married with two kids and i believe in the "DON'T GIVE WOT U CAN'T TAKE".My husb has never cheated to the best of my knowlegde but if it ever happens n i cant get myself to forgive him,i'll walk away(children or not).no matter how hard it seems.its easier to walk away dan cheat.it should be for any decent woman and he'll be the biggest loser for it.
people shud drop the judgemental crap.the truth is the truth.and preaching the truth does not necessarily mean u practice it.its merely a statement of fact.
My dear lady i understand how you feel. my husband has been cheating on me on several occasions. even when i catch him red handed he turns the blame on my so what i decided was to cheat on him. which of course i am enjoying without regrets. in fact my boyfriend is richer, sexier, and more romantic and satisfies me more in bed than he can. Oh boy, i love this cheating game. now there is peace in my home i no longer Nag cos i dont feel slighted.
The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom; wisdom is profitable to direct. In my opinion, marriage is tough however you need to stick to your own end of the bargain irrespective of what the other party brings to the mix and as a Christian, I do not advise paying an eye for an eye. A woman will not pay back a cheating husband by cheating, part of your soul and inner self dies in the process.
If you can, please prayerfully de-tangle yourself for starters and empower yourself to think things through; speak to someone of integrity for sound advice, then analyze where you want to be/go from there. The only person that can make you happy is God and YOU!Sometimes, Love is just not enough, and in my experience, loving God, Fearing HIM and applying his wisdom makes it a lot easier to bear. It may be challenging at first but it does get easier and easier as the day progresses, I pray you see the true light and follow through for the sake of your soul in eternity.
My dear carry on jare! In this society we live in men see it as their sole right to sleep around. They have even twisted a lot of things just so it would suit them but when a woman does the same thing she is seen as the lesser being or a slut and should therefore be punished....That's pure hypocrisy of the highest level. Your husband gave you the opportunity to fuck all the guys you've been eyeing and you grabbed it sharp sharp( pls include the gateman or that boss in the office ;) too)! As long as you are independent and money dey flow for ya side who cares.He is just as guilty as you are so therefore has no right to crucify you. If he finds out and cannot forgive thats his cup of tea...move on to the next one that makes you happy. Just make sure you can take care of your children. men cannot take what they dish out freely and that's why they try to suppress their wives in so many ways like telling them not to work or to sit at home so their total life would be dependent on the caricature that calls himself your husband so that at times like this, the woman would have no say whatsoever in the marriage which is totally wrong. The women have even accepted it as a normal thing sef! abegi!!!!!!!you only live once o and u have the right to be happy. didn't he think about his marriage when he started sleeping around? Was it ever written in the bible that a man is allowed to cheat and a woman isn't?......Do what makes you happy and beg for forgiveness later ;)
there's no excuse for infidelity both on the man or woman's part. Just pray that God give you the strength to go back to your family and end this whole affair. Think of the people you are hurting. Not only your hubby, but your kids. In the same vein, its not easy to carry the kind of burden this lady is carrying. i can only imagine how guilty she must feel in her quiet moments alone. Pls lets all stop insulting or cursing her and hope and pray that we do not fall in the same position someday
My dear, wat u're doing is very wrong and unjustifiable. U're lucky u're not from enugu-ezike in enugu state, u wuld av been roaming the streets of lagos or wherever u are, a mad woman. So, my candid advice is dat u put a stop to ur infidelity and solve ur marital problems in a more decent and matured way.
ALL YOU PEOPLE ABUSING THIS WOMAN HAVE NO RIGHT TO ABUSE HER.ARE U IN HER SHOES, HAVE U FELT HER PAIN, OR DO U KNOW HOW MUCH ABUSE SHE IS CHOPPING FROM THE MAN THAT HAS DEGENERATED HER TO THE LEVEL SHE HAS FALLEN TOO.PRAY FOR HER THAT IS ALL YOU SHOULD BE DOING,THAT SHE SEES HERSELF AS GOD SEES HER AND STOP THE CHEATING.ONLY GOD CAN FILL THE EMPTINESS,VOID,SADNESS AND SORROW IN HER HEART.I HAVE BEEN THERE B4 AND GOD HEALED MY BROKEN SPIRIT AND MY HUSBAND IS CHANGING BY THE GRACE OF GOD AND THROUGH PRAYERS.
Hmmmm,he cheats ,you cheats.i biliv you are taking relief with somebody 's husband ,while he does same wt someone wife.but let man walkpee and woman walkpee,one person's leg must get wet.Going African,it is allowed that a man marry as much as possible nt even doing it secretly.you are lucky your husband respect you by hiding it ,you are feeling superior dat you are a detective thereby you are havin a payback..go ahead ,you will soon be disgrace .see you will soon meet your Waterloo ,Neva pray you stop.insult upon injury !!!!
Why are African women to be precise so judgemental. We are so not honest to ourselves but yet still we give advices to others that are not objective. The lady is hurting people. Yes cheating back is not the best way! granted! but she definitely has to do something to hurt lying cheating bastard back. Men think it's there right to cheat forgetting the impact it has on the family. Lady, having an affair outside may not be the best solution cause the guy may not love you and think of the disrespect that may arise in the event something goes wrong in this affair. U may end up being doubly hurt dear. Search urself thoroughly and do what unthink is right. The marriage may not be the solution either. Think search and be truthful to urself first. Do not rush and make any harsh decisions that's called rebound girl. Honesty works!!!!!!!
Ohhh, too many prostitutes on this forum masquerading as married women!
High time i advise my MRS to keep off "advice centers" such as this.
Can't believe the number of "married" women under the disguise of "Anonymous" openly confessing to haven committed or still committing adultery in their matrimonial homes....SMH
it is such a shame , truly two wrongs dont make it right , so for the sake of your kids u need to end the affair , cos no matter how it looks you will be the one to get thrown into the deep end . and it is soo sad that our culture promotes men cheating on their wives as a norm . There are plenty of loose women out there who have STDs , then you come an inflict such on your poor wife , when that happens wat do u say, will you not blame yourself for not leavin the careless man before he puts life in danger .God does not approve of infidelity from both parties . So my dear you need to decided where your marriage is heading to, save your marriage or run . Fast and pray very hard for God to give you wisdom
it is such a shame , truly two wrongs dont make it right , so for the sake of your kids u need to end the affair , cos no matter how it looks you will be the one to get thrown into the deep end . and it is soo sad that our culture promotes men cheating on their wives as a norm . There are plenty of loose women out there who have STDs , then you come an inflict such on your poor wife , when that happens wat do u say, will you not blame yourself for not leavin the careless man before he puts life in danger .God does not approve of infidelity from both parties . So my dear you need to decided where your marriage is heading to, save your marriage or run . Fast and pray very hard for God to give you wisdom
if i dint finish up with the story i wuda thot y'all were just dating or sumn..basically, try to be a mother yor 4 kids can look up 2...(well if that involves sleepin around, so be it, if not..you know what to do)..
My husband cheats on me too but I have never cheated on him but i hurt so much,we have four kids and I have discussed it with him but he continues.
It really hurts...I don't know what to do. It really hurts and I don't know how to get my mind off it or whether I should start doing what this woman is doing.
You've eaten the forbidden fruit, and now u r hooked, just like the virgin that became a maniac after the first taste!lol.
I can tell you he knows, or there is a 70% chance he does. i remember when i caught my bf years back, now my hubby with a girl, i got back at him by doing same(unprotected). later that night at about 2am, i got up to take a contraceptive, and he saw me, unknown to me. he told me about it about 3years later, and i was SHOCKED! thats men for you! they keep it all bottled up. and his words were: i dont wanna hurt you again cos i know you'll retalliate, and it'll simply kill me! what am i saying? Please end the relnship. i understand ur need to get back at him, but its not worth it!
@Tunero or wateva ur name is, u r STUPID. Why justify d man's actions? Its men like u women shld stay away from, a man cheatin is near normal, bt a woman's own is an abomination. Illiterate fool
You are destroying yourself by going into adultery, why dont you discuss your husband's promiscuity with him instead of you going into infidelity! What ever went into your head to think you are repaying him when he doesn't even know that you are sleeping with another man! I think you should quit this dirty and shameful game and repent of your sin. Meanwhile, work on your marriage and find out why your husband keeps cheating on you.
Anyone who cheats, has no excuse what so ever. Weda ur husband cheated first or ur wife did, it's simply in ur system to cheat. No matter how good you are in bed, sex is over-rated and like a drug shud be used as at when needed. The guilt u feel after stealing something from ur best friend is not even half as much as that u feel after masturbating, talk more of an extra-marital affair as a parent. No one can change u without ur permission, so using ur husbands infidelity as an excuse is crap. U're just a perfect blend of sheer greed and selfishness.
No it makes you a good person. mumu like you!!! you 4got dt its a man's world, huh? By the time both families get to know about your new life nobody will remember that your husband did something like that before. Better watch it!!!
Nobody shld crucify dis woman some pple are just here calling her names,some are like kettle calling d pot black..her husband disrespected her and has no value for his dick. There is no law that grants d man right to cheat we are n d 21ist century for cryng out loud. All I have to tell d woman is for her to sit back and ask her self a sincere question,if she really cherish d marriage,if she wants in,then she shld cut the sexcapade off,at least she has got her own pound of flesh.if she wants out,she shld go for divorce period.
woman, its true that the devil knows our weaknesses can only plead with you, stop this madness now b/4 its too late. If you drop dead its one way to hell and for the sake of your children call yourself to order pls.
My mum caught my dad cheating on her when we were in primary school. But because of the love she had for us(her children), she put up with his rubbish. That's a virteous woman (not u), & I'll love her till I die. Today, I can boast that my younger brother & I are doctors because of my mum, cos none of them would have been able to raise us singly. Therefore, I would say u neither love ur children or urself & u r just enjoying d infidelity so stop giving us cock & bull tale. Ode buruku oshi. Ur husband is a fool & is wrong, don't get me wrong, but u r in nigeria & u need to wake up to d realities around u & stop listening to d single forever or divorsed misadvicing u
You mentioned that your husband had cheated on you several times before he gore to your family friend. That is as a result of utter and complete disregard and disrespect for you. You readily and willingly forgave him the first time that he decided you'd forgive him again and again. As a result of your tolerance, you encouraged him to cheat again and again. I was cheated on by my partner ONCE and i walked away from that marriage and got a divorce. Bear in mind, i have two daughters and i am completely independent with a well-paid job. Not a month past before he came begging me for forgiveness. It took almost an entire year of him begging before i forgave him. He learnt his lesson and has never strayed since. The bottom line of what I'm trying to say is this: If he really loves you and he knows his affairs bear a risk of losing you, he will not stray.
Well, its a pathetic story, i really dnt want to judge you. Ur husband is a cheating continously and it has become part of him, i want to tell you that what he did is not, will not and never your fault. He choosed his path, so I will advice that you try all you can to make yourself happy.( NOT BY CHEATING).If he is cheating then it means he has extra cash for that, cos extra affair, means extra cash for the the other lady. So please increase your financial demand on your husband. Change school for your kids where the fees is very very very high.You can clear your wardrobe and get new nice wears, especially those expensive ones you didnt have the heart to buy, cos you ddnt want to stress your husband. Make merry, if you spend 10k on a pot of soup before, by all means double it. Make sure your kids get the very best, you get the very best. If he want to continue in such act, that is his trouble. I will also suggest you make him know that you know he is cheating on you, and if possible show him your proof, cos he will deny. Never show him you weakness, that he hurts u badly and u are devastated, cos he will rejoice in it being a bad hubby. Never quarrel with him, in fact from your action make him know that you do not care.Enjoy your life to the fullest, cos worrying about your hubby's behavior will shorten your life more....I wish you and your family long life and prosperity. GOD BLESS.
310 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 310 of 310But pls all of u calling her ashawo and slut, what have u called the husband. So its ok for him to cheat with multiple partners and wrong for her to cheat at all? I beg quit this hypocrisy o. We r all human beings and have the same needs.
Is his dick sweeter, longer and more succulent than your husband's own?If yes, Please enjoy well O jare.Just wear a condom sha or let him give u his certificate that he is free of STDs! After all the pain u are going through u need love, attention and caressing.Women who cheat on their husbands have had the last straw. I occassionally go on dates with other men.This is after loving a man who is always cursing at me and ignoring me(No hugs, kind words, only abuse).I have not slept with any other man since we exchanged vows,but have considered it seriously. Just make sure he never will find out, be very slick sha as women are better players. God will forgive the both of you.( This is my flesh talking, may God forgive me)
the story doesnt add up completely. how did a man conveniently appear just after your husband cheated. it is likely you have been flirting or you have an atitude that makes you approachable. your reason isnt enough a decent woman would never cheat. especially after 4 kids
. where would she even find a man sef. or be brave enough to go through the antiques of cheating.
lets be frank you had it in you.
you just found an excuse. and quit the self validation. the reason you havent stoped is cos u ilke the sex and new found attention.
i dont know about other men. but even if i sleep with the whole Lagos i cldnt stay with a wife who did the same. i know it sounds ridiculous. but u cannot be a woman and live like a man.
From what i have read from dis post, i have seen that people dont respect the institution of marriage, and 'some' women see nothing wrong with paying back a man's infidelity by sleeping with other men not caring about their reputation..... May God help us....Ani James, abeg take am easy, u sound so raged....Kelss on point
u're a nincompoop! Hav u eva tot of how ridiculous u wil look to ur children if they hear of it? I rgard u as som.1 dat is promiscuos in nature but constrained by marriage, who now tink she's got a good excus to exhibit that stupendious nature of her. U don't pay evil by evil.two wrong neva make a right in case u don't know.
i find it funny that some of the comments{obviosly from women],would commend this lady and even quote the bible and spew righteous anger at the fact that the husband cheated. dont judge me until you walk a mile in my shoes. thats wat i say.
you guys dont know half of the story and you judge the man!!! Humans are so swayed by emotion that is why the world is in the state it is.
For me ,i will not judge but only say it was stupid not to talk things over with your husband and at least bring out the humanity in him.
I know good men that have wayward wives. I have been hit on by a couple of young married women and two of them have great husbands. Why? Values!!! From experience ,for every man that cheat an equal proportion of women cheat. Its 50/50. Know your values. Know your spouse and the battle is almost won. Many rush into marriage to people they hardly know and cry foul when shit hits the fan.
Lady you did wrong by cheating on your {cheating] husband. it puts you on the same level as the rest of the disgusting breed.
U have no right to call her that,u abusive man.What about her husband who is neglecting her and causing her to sin.Do u know what she has been through, the pain and abuse to make her seek solace in another man's arms.You are tripping, Check yourself. Instead of giving positive advice u are abusing her.
I still wonder why some women are so naive about certain sensitive issues which could break the home apart. In the African context what is the role of a woman? a match for a man or a home builder who is supposed to bring the husband back to his senses if he seems to be going astray? if your husband is cheating on you , do you think cheating on him will bring him back to his senses? Well i am sorry my dear but you are only causing more havoc to your home. Let's be sincere, in this part of the world there is "gender equality" either you like it or not. If you want to be a boss lady then you should have been raised the "western" way. Call your husband and talk to him , let him realize what he has done and i am sure he will be sober and won't do it again.
Toks
So far, I ve seen 90 comments here and so many of dem ve spoken frm d wife's angle or rada insulted her therefore supportg her cheatg hubby.
My parents ve bin married 4 24yrs and for 20yrs my fada remained outside d country. They remained a couple and my fada was quite active in our lives but I didn't get to meet him until I was 20 meaning he travelled out wen I was four. My mom of course found out he had birthed oda kids but kept it away frm me. As I grew older dere I found out wat he had done. As a child of d family, to say I was distraught wil be undermining wat I felt. I was devastated bcos in all 20yrs of his absence, my moda a devout xtian, remained faithful. Neva for once did she luk back on d vows she made b4 God and man. She continued to say d best tins abt him and constantly reminded me of ow God says we must honour our parents therefore creatg no room for hatred or disrespect. Today I am a graduate and u no I ve got my job wich is quite gud and I remain so proud of my mum for neva cheatg. I wod ve bin too ashamed if she had decided to sleep arnd aldoe she may ve bin justified. I don't know wat happened to me but I ve 4given my dad aldoe he hasn't confessed to us and is still kipin it al safe bcos he doesn't want to lose wat he has wit my mum. Dearie pls stop it for d sake of ur kids. I cried my eyes out wen I found out abt my dad and 4gave him witout a second tot but I wod neva ve 4given my mum. I am payg her back 2day for al she is bin thru and dats y most women remain in deir marriages til date. It is not always easy but God is rilly gud at compensatg women. I am not married and ve done my best at kipin myself till date. Adultery is d last sin I wod eva tink of. It may take more dan 20yrs but u will be compensated 4all u ve gone thru.
I still wonder why some women are so naive about certain sensitive issues which could break the home apart. In the African context what is the role of a woman? a match for a man or a home builder who is supposed to bring the husband back to his senses if he seems to be going astray? if your husband is cheating on you , do you think cheating on him will bring him back to his senses? Well i am sorry my dear but you are only causing more havoc to your home. Let's be sincere, in this part of the world there is no "gender equality" either you like it or not. If you want to be a boss lady then you should have been raised the "western" way. Call your husband and talk to him , let him realize what he has done and i am sure he will be sober and won't do it again.
Toks
Dis na wahala ooo
www.gamugaza.blogspot.com
@ani James said...
De is no righteous man on earth.
Dear Ani, because you are not righteous person you will never attract a righteous man. Check yourself.
U r jst a comon prostitute lookin 4 loophole 2do evil.do u ever think u can ever beat a man on d war of cheating? Do men get pregnant? Wat if ur man decides 2bring his mistres as a second wife can u do same wit urs? Men wil always remain men and women wil always remain women.d most honorable thing 2do in situation lik dis is 2 warn him and seek 4 a divorce if it persists or better stil, pray 2 God.It's no longer 'if u cant beat dem,join dem'.it's 'if u cant beat dem, leave dem'!@least 4 integrity sake!
Stop it. It is not the right thing to do. Morals, values and ethics are the things that define us as humans.
Some LIB readers are fucking hypocrites.....She asked for advice not judgement..DAMN!! Can you just make a comment without judging......... Bitter people fill this world....
My man ceat, I go cheat. If armed robber come my house and police no help, Me too go turn robber. If oga drive kill my son, ago kill his son too. If the other person shit for back of my house, me too go do am.
I cheat on my boyfriend and dont feel guilt. We have been together for about 2 and a half years and plan on getting married. I love him to death and can't leave him but i cheat on him with 2 other people. There are just some things we can not explain.
CONTINUE U ARE A WISE WOMAN, HE WILL PUT U ASIDE ONE DAY, WEN UR CUP FULL, THAT MAN U ARE FUCKING WILL NOTMARRY U, BUT HE CAN MARRY ANOTHER GIRL. U ARE ASKING PPL TO TELL U THAT U DID A BAD THING, IS GOOD CONTINUE OK, BUT DNT CRY WEN IT HAPPEN
From my experience ,sleeping with someone else doesn't mean you don't love him. My dear sis, Linda , no one can give you a better advice than yourself, everyone on LIB have different perspectives, from different background, have different relationships so what do you think you can get here ? You are the only person that knows from your heart if what you are doing is wrong or right ,if he deserves it,if you should forgive him for the other things he has done very right,maybe he is bored ,you don't interest him anymore etc you can tell. Dialogue may help.
I wish you the best
Lots of support from me whatever decision you make.
For the woman that said her husband isn't cheating,I love your believe ,I hope to trust mine and be bold to say that.hope you have shock absorbers. Powerful you.hmnnnnn.
I had to reply because you have spoken my mind. Men think they are the only ones who can cheat. They will quote bible and tell you an adulterous woman is worse. Their own interpretation. The society is rotten men think its normal for them to cheat. Wicked selfish humans who know not what the meaning of love is. Sad! Only GOD can help us find GODly men.
All I want to say to you for yourself and your relationship with GOD do not carry on cheating. You have no love for your husband anymore yes you have history and care about him.do what I'd best for your sanity. But cheating is not the way.
See your mouth typical Nigerian mentallity hissed. So it is just the woman the man has no equal part to play in keeping the home. You sound like a cheater. A serial one infact. Grow up and handle your responsibility as a man. Stop putting it on the woman because you cheat.
She said "dear lib readers!" use ur eyes ooo
i feel you baby girl,Nigerian men think they are smart.My husband has always cheated on me and as a faithful wife i just prayed.I got everything money can buy and he say i love you a million times those are the husbands you have to watch out for.However, i met this hunk on a trip to Dubai,yes not married and he swept me off my feet.He has done so much for me and to tell you i have 3 kids and he wants kids from me.He has introduced me to all his friends and boy when we make love he explores my body we have just returned from this vacation from i will not say and i hate for my husband to spoil it by touching me.All of a sudden my stupid husband does not want to go out and it is affecting my movement.He just woke up last week and said he just both two first class tickets and we should go to cape town .Linda i don't want to go i will miss my babay so much.He called me yesterday and wanted to talk all night and my husband was sitting by me and i kept saying na wa for you to him .Now i am in a fix because this mantouches me and i go gaga and i don't want my husband around.My husband now says the driver must take me everywhere and i am used to driving my car around the island by myself.However, my children are in in school and i have never had this much love.
Linda ,do you know that love can transform you?Everyone is asking why i am looking so young.i know he put tracker in my car and cunny man die cunny man burry am.I park my car at shopprite and the rest is history.Stupid man and come to think he is the one now wanting melike mad.One night he came back so drunk and you could tell he was at a club and kept using bad language let me show you i can still f'''''k you like no other.Meanwhile i make sure none of my friends know about this my love triangle. I wish he could just say it is overand i will run for it.The best love making i have done is when my foolish husband leaves home for his escapades and if you have not tried sex phone and cyber sex pls try it.It is safe and satisfying.When i watch him on my lap top and i look at my flabby husband the next day i feel like telling him to take a hike.Oneday my husband told me that my breast was going flat and the love of my life tells me hey baby it come with child bearing i love just the way you are.I am going crazy because i want to be with him.His two kids have spoken to me in America and they say they cannot wait to see me.Their mom anigerian said she could not stayin Nigeria and took the two kids back to America and that was 15 years ago.However,they are still very good friends and she has since moved on. Linda you see nigerian men,they are the bigger fools you need to see what married womenare doing inlagos they are having their groove on.The best thing for this stupid husbands is what i am doing and it is so good when you do it with someone better looking and more loaded than them and don't judge me bacausethese men deserve what they are getting.
If you feel no guilt, why seek for advise? If you love your husband, why cheat on him? Does two wrongs make a right? What example are you portraying to your kids? Do you think your cheating on your husband, as a payback, make you a better, fierce and powerful person... the wife of the 21st Century, yea? Think about it, if you do not feel guilt, you should start feeling it. He is your HUSBAND, not your BOYFRIEND... Be wise.. end that extra-marital relationship. Your integrity is all you have, guide it with honor.... na the money i get to borrow u, na him i don give u so.
YES! Shut uppppppp MR Atewewe. Being ignorant n judgemental z nt arrtactive. Get educated... And get a lyf too!
And Mr Temmy, u̶̲̥̅̊ shake Æ”☺ΰr head cos she asked LIBers 4 advice yet u̶̲̥̅̊ proffer urs? Ptttttttttt
Linda dear, pls try n post this one. U̶̲̥̅̊ didn't post M̶̲̥̅γ̲̣̣̥ oda comment this issue.
-justme
Scared of marriage
Na wa oh,how will having sex with someone by a payback for your husband wen he doesn't know?I find it really disturbing that a lot of people think adultery is ok.no matter how u paint it what u are doing is plain right wrong...a normal person would have mayb deprived their husband of sex or talked to his mother or confronted the other woman but u just went straight into another man's bed (by the way,the guy you are sleeping with is sleeping with someone else too,u just dey give am free p*ssy,na your loss)...really means you had adultery in your mind a long time before now...not meaning to b rude but you are a clear case of people who do not know what marriage is about...take your husband to church!u both need to attend marriage class agn!
So your husdband has given you an excuse to do what you always really wanted to do? At this point, the devil in fully in charge of your lives. And he always carries hidden consequences. I feel sorry for your children. If you don't get HIV from your cheating husband, you will surely get it from your boyfriend who probably has many of you.
In Africa, Nigeria especially, men cheat and get away with it. Even when the woman knows she still does everything to krrp her home. Ma'am, there is no way to justify what u r doing ryt now. u will not be able to handle what will come when the man finds out. cos no one will be on ur side. No one will want to know if the man slept with ur friend or even sister. if u are a christian, u need to ask God for forgiveness and retrace ur steps as fast as possible. in some cultures, the man will fall sick and die or the children will start having strange illnesses here and there. However, it sounds a bit contradictory when u say u love ur husband yet u don't feel guilty cheating on him.
its really unfortunate that most people dont realize that sin breaks the hedge of protection on us and leaves in its wake curses.the sin of marital infidelity leaves its distinct mark on the children.manifestations of the curse will come on the children and ofcourse on both spouses.woman,for the sake of your children and their future,stop and go to God in genuine repentance.Pastor Uzor
is that wht u will tell ur children? Reflection.
I watched a Yoruba movie recently where a woman had a higher sex drive than her husband. She constantly wanted to have multiple hours of intimacy while her husband was fine with one or two rounds. Well she mentioned the situation to her friend who then took her to a mallam for indigenous herbs to stimulate and strengthen her husband's manhood. She slipped it into his food. Next thing you know, he was servicing her to her satisfaction. Unfortunately, the husband wasn't physically strong enough to bear the effects of the mixture. And one day after several rounds of sex, he conked over and died of heart failure.
So the woman tells her daughter, who also had a strong sex drive this: there are three things it takes to satisfy a woman in a marriage/committed relationship.
1. Things to wear
2. Things to eat
3. Something to put between her thighs.
The mother cautioned her daughter that when a man and woman are not on the same page with regards to all, especially the third one, it can break up a relationship. Either the man wants sex more than his wife, or vice versa.
I said all that to say this, the spark in the OP's marriage was gone. With the man's cheating, there was probably no love, certainly no trust, and mutual respect was gone.
Without those three, or seeking to re-establish them, the OP will find it difficult to stop cheating completely. She tasted of the forbidden fruit and found it to her liking.
***Lush
She's not asking for advice people. She's simply asking what cld be wrong. I know exactly how she feels. My hubby has cheated on me and it was very hurtful. I also wanted to cheat on him but I just wasn't ready for such mentally.
Honey, the truth is that you feel no guilt because you do not love him anymore and you're just still in the marriage because society expects you to be there! If you wanna work it out and love him again, then just cut off all communication with your lover and focus on your hubby - shikena.
Why are we so quick to judge? So quick to give opinions! Half the people here are probably doing much worse! Please "Mrs Married Woman" find your own salvation. We as country are not virtuous or moral so what gives us the right to preachto others?
paying back evil with evil makes no scene. you just told us that u will do wat ur husband did if u were to be a man.at this point ur husband is much better than u cos u r doing urs as avenging wat he did and not only dat u hav turned ur self into wat u were not wen u r single which WHORE but it never too late to mak a change and go back begin a wife cos if u tink u r not filling guilt u r mistaking cos if u r not u won't be making it open for people to help u out. there is still time to change.
Don't cheat or stoop low because of any human being. If he is frustrating ur life it is more homourable to leave the marriage. Be responsible for ur actions, cheat becos u want to and not becos someone pushed u to. At the end of the day ur assumption about his affair might be wrong and then what? The Devil has come in and u r caught up in lust. Marry the man ure cheating with and u might find out he's even worse than ur husband. Is the man ure cheating with better?just cos of false compliments u think he is? Wake up! he's only enjoying a cheap thing, another man's wife. Respect urself as a woman..that's all I can say. But if u want to cheat don't blame it on ur husband. Do it cos that's what u want to do.. Full Stop.
i dont get why some readers would call her a slut or an ashawo..my goodness, she asked for advice,,if you find it difficult giving advice move to the next story..its so sad that we have reached a stage in our lives when it is ok for a man to cheat but an abomination (as one reader said)for a woman to do same.shame on anyone who is of this belief..young lady my advice to you-its time to end the affair and begin to work on your marriage,,am glad you still love him. all the best
I feel ur pain soooooo much cos i ve been in your shoes, it came to me as a rude shock as i tot he was one who would never cheat based on our discussions etc in the past. Bad enough a young guy even going after a married woman who he introduced to me as a friend and i did patronise her for the services she renders. Smh
It has crossed my mind so much to do the same but the only restraining factor is the grace of God and i tell my self if he puts his hand in fire would i do same? Never.
The truth such men always end up meeting their destruction in different ways, my advise is desist from the act, go to God in forgivness and catch your fun in other ways, he is just a part of your life so dont give him the oppprtunity to ruin your entire life. if his immorality act continues and u think u cant handle it then u take a walk. life is too short.
THE FACT THAT YOU FEEL NO GUILT MEANS THIS MARRIAGE ENDED A LONGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG TIME AGO....YOU SHOULD BOTH STOP FOOLING YOURSELVES AND GET A DIVORCE...
Your bad habit have eaten you up and you have certainly loss your conscience as a married human. Two wrongs never makes a right. You better retrace your steps before your husband dumps you.
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Ani dear, weldone ooo!! Na u be deputy Linda now???
the only reason it didnt remain a one night stand is because you are enjoying the sex so much. you have found di..k that is sweeter than that of your husband. my dear, ride on that dic...k well for as long as you can. when and if you get tired, move to the next sweet dic..k. make your husband dey fool himself, thinking he is cheating on you......i laugh in warri....THEOTHERWOMAN...
AFTER UNA GO DEY ABUSE LINDA SAY SHE NEVER MARRY....HOW MANY OF YOU MARRIED WOMEN GO SWEAR SAY YOUR HUSBANDS NEVER FUCK ANOTHER WOMAN.....RUBBISH...
i feel ur pain dear(from experience), but cheating on ur loser hubby wouldnt make u feel any better.
I would rather walk out of the marriage if i cant live with deceit, than come down to his cheap level and sin against God.It's all about your values. A cheater is not worth the trouble.
For better for worse doesnt include infidelity.
But if u still love him as u say catch ur fun any other way,Life is too short and it's beautiful.
I am married and also just discovered my husband has been cheating on me since 2008...
I recently met up with an old boyfriend who was always a DON in bed. As i speak to you all we already have a hotel room paid for today friday - sunday. I am going to fuck my brains out...NO REGRETS. in fact just thinking of his dick is making me wet right now...heheehee...
as you hypocrites want to start insulting me, remember YOU WISH YOU WERE ME hahahahahahahaha
i love u soooooo much...ur so on point....c ehn if cheating on him makes u happy pls dnt stop oooo...am with u ok!
I feel your pain. Pray for your husband but stop the illicit affair and stay focus on God and the kids. you will be well!
@ Temmy, you didnt have to put ur own advice na since u dey shake ya head @ some1 asking LIB readers for advice, na wa for the way people comment sef...
My Lady, just go to God for direction, He is in the best position to guide you right...
Vengeance hurts more than the primary situation...
I feel ur pain soooooo much cos i ve been in your shoes, it came to me as a rude shock as i tot he was one who would ever cheat based on our discussions etc in the past. Bad enough a young guy even going after a married woman who he introduced to me as a friend and i did patronise her for the services she renders. Smh
It has crossed my mind so much to do the same but the only restraining factor is the grace of God and i tell my self if he puts his hand in fire would i do same> never.
The truth such men always end up meeting their destruction in different ways, my advise is desist from the act, go to God in forgives and catch your fun in other ways> he is just a part of your life so dont give him the oppprtunity to ruin your entire life. if his immorality act continues and u think u cant handle it then u take a walk. life is too short.
Romans 12:17: Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men.
You must call on the Lord to help you when vengeful anger or resentment begins to rise in your heart. You must ask the Lord to cleanse you from those evil traits and give you His love, patience and His solution to your predicament. He has the power to change other people's attitudes including your husband towards you if you keep your heart right before Him. Remember, He sees all that is happening and He will rescue you if you cry out to Him in faith. He can change the heart of your husband the circumstances surrounding the problem in your favor, if you trust Him and ask Him to forgive and bless you and your husband.
normal thing, abeg ride on.
God slap all the folish men and women condemning this woman. the man who is cheating loves her so well that he had to cheat to show his love. thats why we are as backward as we are here. he can cheat but she cant.what rubbbbbish. may God slap all your mouths a trillion times. backward minds, if he cheats get a fine younger handsome bobo and do your thing. if he discovers let the heavens fall, hope u have a job. does any one talking here know the pains of knowing your husband is cheating on you? may God slap any supporter of such and their generation.what is good for d goose is good for the gander. what u wish dt someone should do to you do same to him or her. for ur info am married with 3kids and will not take that shit again bc i have been there. by the time it was obvious dt i was doing my thing, family meeting was called and today everyone respects themselves bc he knows i wont look back doing it again or leaving him bc i wanted so much to leave him and move on. rubbish. its a man's world indeed.until you come out of it, you will all exist here and die and not truly live your fullest. you will wake up crying, sleep crying bc he is cheating when you can do same. akuko.
Change your ways and ask God for forgiveness. Pray for your husband to change. Please don't work out of the marriage for your children's sake. That man wit you now might not love u after all.
Two wrongs dont make a right. If you are tired of the relationship, then walk out but dont forget about the children involved in whatever decision you take.
Well, i think you do not feel guilty because you already justified yourself from start and have given yourself reason to feel good about it. Simply put, you've killed your conscience.
Well, dummy; she is seeking the opinion of LIB readers
The solution to a problem is not revenge. At the end of it all u are not hurting anyone but yourself. Being adulterous has it's consequences. Think about the future before you let a moment of anger and quest for revenge to consume you.
Good for you slut!
Lots of sluts here today.
It's like the slut fest.
hardened heart is a result of ur un4giviness..you shuold know its your life that is being destroyed and your dignity is fast eroding...........stop this and forgive him so you can get your conscience back and be a loving wife that you were.LET IT GO
infact half of all of you that posted a comment are so judgemental ... all of una wey yab d girl na yaba left una suppose go if the place no take una make d rest go aro for abeokuta
Any one that judge you right here is already judged bu God. I'm sorry about how you feel at the moment, but that you go cheating won't bring your hubby back to his sense. You need to commit your ways to God and ask that He fights for you. If not for God's sake, but for your kids, quit cheating. Someday your hubby will return to his senses if hes not under a spell.
i know it hurts but cheating is not the way out neither is walking out of ur marriage.smh...put it all in the hands of God before taking any step.get closer to ur husband and explain tins to him apologize and make up your mind not to cheat again.its hard but its better to hear it from you than from someone else
u say u r trying to get back at ur husband by cheatin on,ok soo the man does not even knw u cheatin on him.u r just giving urslef freely sum oda man.#SOLUTION,Tell him u knw u knw is cheating on u and u want a divorce and see is response
That's very nice and thoughtful of you Rose....Instead of spewing hate. If someone you love kills,do you kill? If someone you love steal,do you steal also?
You might be hurt but it requires mental strength to do the right thing.
-warriboi
Paying back is when he knows what u are doing too. If he doesnt know it is not paying back na. He shld know that u are aware of what he is doing and u are doing it too as revenge. My dear, u are only hurting urself and the guilt will remain with u. There is no amount of sex that will make u feel that u ve paid back. U will still feel cheated.Sex isnt the solution. He will still win in the game. Just take it to God in prayer and also talk to him abt it. U will feel ok if u talk to him abt it. Even though he doesnt change, he will feel the guilt and he wnt make it obvious anymore. And u sef, stop being suspicious. It will help. Dnt take all the wrongs he does too personal. U will have heart attack oh. If u are not working, pls work. continue to be a mother and a wife, be happy, enjoy life and leave revenge for God. Sometin will happen that will make him realise and stop one day. 9 days for the thief, one day for the owner. God will definitely touch him but not when u are doing bad too. Wish u the best luv!
wats wiv all ds comments .....190? kilode.its their body, its their cock $ pussy..they can do watever dey wana do wivit.if they re happy fuckin around, fine. if they re not, fine.dats their problem nd issue.i advise yal go face d challenges ahead of yal.
Good on you.
Not easy to walk away but I guess you're better for it.
hmmmn after reading her story and a large portion of the comments , i have to the realisation that people live deceptive lives eg. living in a marriage u are not happy in just does not make sense my dear lady pls live and stop this deception, it will only hurt u
secondly i guess its majority of the male folk that are calling the lady a slut, who said it was ok for men to cheat ??? MOST DEFINETLY MEN, giving that we live in a patriachal society. but thankfully women are becoming empowered so they dont need to sit and take the crap men dish out to them cos they want a name change MRS thats so yesterday!!!
finally if u trusly luve ur hubby confront him, discuss the hurt u feel and extract an apology and promise of change if none comes just get a divorce
peace
U r so on point,I am married nd some times I feel like cheating on hubby jare nd having d craziest sex I have always wanted.
Purrleez!U are not serious at all.Did u ask LIB readers for advise wen u found out he was cheating with ur family friend?y shud our opinions count now?
u're a freaking adult.deep down u know wat to do.dont expect pple to pep talk u or give u a Dr Phill's speech.
u handled ur business by cheating back so handle it now its all messy.stop asking for advise n do wot is right.
I'm not going to judge u but just know that u've messed up just as bad as he did.right now,ur not any better dan him n u did not have sex with this other person at gun point so 4get about the "he pushed me" line.so practicaly NOBODY pushed u or forced u to do anything.its just a way to justify ur actions in ur head.
is it possible for someone to push u to kill?if u pull a trigger with a gun pointed at ur head,its understandable.I'm being extreme cos i want u to see how silly and senseless the whole vengeance thing is.
I'm married with two kids and i believe in the "DON'T GIVE WOT U CAN'T TAKE".My husb has never cheated to the best of my knowlegde but if it ever happens n i cant get myself to forgive him,i'll walk away(children or not).no matter how hard it seems.its easier to walk away dan cheat.it should be for any decent woman and he'll be the biggest loser for it.
people shud drop the judgemental crap.the truth is the truth.and preaching the truth does not necessarily mean u practice it.its merely a statement of fact.
My dear lady i understand how you feel. my husband has been cheating on me on several occasions. even when i catch him red handed he turns the blame on my so what i decided was to cheat on him. which of course i am enjoying without regrets. in fact my boyfriend is richer, sexier, and more romantic and satisfies me more in bed than he can. Oh boy, i love this cheating game. now there is peace in my home i no longer Nag cos i dont feel slighted.
I sympathize with your plight.
The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom; wisdom is profitable to direct. In my opinion, marriage is tough however you need to stick to your own end of the bargain irrespective of what the other party brings to the mix and as a Christian, I do not advise paying an eye for an eye. A woman will not pay back a cheating husband by cheating, part of your soul and inner self dies in the process.
If you can, please prayerfully de-tangle yourself for starters and empower yourself to think things through; speak to someone of integrity for sound advice, then analyze where you want to be/go from there. The only person that can make you happy is God and YOU!Sometimes, Love is just not enough, and in my experience, loving God, Fearing HIM and applying his wisdom makes it a lot easier to bear. It may be challenging at first but it does get easier and easier as the day progresses, I pray you see the true light and follow through for the sake of your soul in eternity.
My dear carry on jare! In this society we live in men see it as their sole right to sleep around. They have even twisted a lot of things just so it would suit them but when a woman does the same thing she is seen as the lesser being or a slut and should therefore be punished....That's pure hypocrisy of the highest level. Your husband gave you the opportunity to fuck all the guys you've been eyeing and you grabbed it sharp sharp( pls include the gateman or that boss in the office ;) too)! As long as you are independent and money dey flow for ya side who cares.He is just as guilty as you are so therefore has no right to crucify you. If he finds out and cannot forgive thats his cup of tea...move on to the next one that makes you happy. Just make sure you can take care of your children. men cannot take what they dish out freely and that's why they try to suppress their wives in so many ways like telling them not to work or to sit at home so their total life would be dependent on the caricature that calls himself your husband so that at times like this, the woman would have no say whatsoever in the marriage which is totally wrong. The women have even accepted it as a normal thing sef! abegi!!!!!!!you only live once o and u have the right to be happy. didn't he think about his marriage when he started sleeping around? Was it ever written in the bible that a man is allowed to cheat and a woman isn't?......Do what makes you happy and beg for forgiveness later ;)
Linda,,you re such a smart ass blogger with this story. Hope u ve proved to ur cash cows how much readers you have.
there's no excuse for infidelity both on the man or woman's part. Just pray that God give you the strength to go back to your family and end this whole affair. Think of the people you are hurting. Not only your hubby, but your kids. In the same vein, its not easy to carry the kind of burden this lady is carrying. i can only imagine how guilty she must feel in her quiet moments alone. Pls lets all stop insulting or cursing her and hope and pray that we do not fall in the same position someday
My dear, wat u're doing is very wrong and unjustifiable. U're lucky u're not from enugu-ezike in enugu state, u wuld av been roaming the streets of lagos or wherever u are, a mad woman. So, my candid advice is dat u put a stop to ur infidelity and solve ur marital problems in a more decent and matured way.
On point 10:22
ALL YOU PEOPLE ABUSING THIS WOMAN HAVE NO RIGHT TO ABUSE HER.ARE U IN HER SHOES, HAVE U FELT HER PAIN, OR DO U KNOW HOW MUCH ABUSE SHE IS CHOPPING FROM THE MAN THAT HAS DEGENERATED HER TO THE LEVEL SHE HAS FALLEN TOO.PRAY FOR HER THAT IS ALL YOU SHOULD BE DOING,THAT SHE SEES HERSELF AS GOD SEES HER AND STOP THE CHEATING.ONLY GOD CAN FILL THE EMPTINESS,VOID,SADNESS AND SORROW IN HER HEART.I HAVE BEEN THERE B4 AND GOD HEALED MY BROKEN SPIRIT AND MY HUSBAND IS CHANGING BY THE GRACE OF GOD AND THROUGH PRAYERS.
Hmmmm,he cheats ,you cheats.i biliv you are taking relief with somebody 's husband ,while he does same wt someone wife.but let man walkpee and woman walkpee,one person's leg must get wet.Going African,it is allowed that a man marry as much as possible nt even doing it secretly.you are lucky your husband respect you by hiding it ,you are feeling superior dat you are a detective thereby you are havin a payback..go ahead ,you will soon be disgrace .see you will soon meet your Waterloo ,Neva pray you stop.insult upon injury !!!!
Why are African women to be precise so judgemental. We are so not honest to ourselves but yet still we give advices to others that are not objective. The lady is hurting people. Yes cheating back is not the best way! granted! but she definitely has to do something to hurt lying cheating bastard back. Men think it's there right to cheat forgetting the impact it has on the family. Lady, having an affair outside may not be the best solution cause the guy may not love you and think of the disrespect that may arise in the event something goes wrong in this affair. U may end up being doubly hurt dear. Search urself thoroughly and do what unthink is right. The marriage may not be the solution either. Think search and be truthful to urself first. Do not rush and make any harsh decisions that's called rebound girl. Honesty works!!!!!!!
Ohhh, too many prostitutes on this forum masquerading as married women!
High time i advise my MRS to keep off "advice centers" such as this.
Can't believe the number of "married" women under the disguise of "Anonymous" openly confessing to
haven committed or still committing adultery in their matrimonial homes....SMH
Wow so u can dish it out but u cant take it? What makes u think dat cheating is solely for men?
it is such a shame , truly two wrongs dont make it right , so for the sake of your kids u need to end the affair , cos no matter how it looks you will be the one to get thrown into the deep end . and it is soo sad that our culture promotes men cheating on their wives as a norm . There are plenty of loose women out there who have STDs , then you come an inflict such on your poor wife , when that happens wat do u say, will you not blame yourself for not leavin the careless man before he puts life in danger .God does not approve of infidelity from both parties . So my dear you need to decided where your marriage is heading to, save your marriage or run . Fast and pray very hard for God to give you wisdom
it is such a shame , truly two wrongs dont make it right , so for the sake of your kids u need to end the affair , cos no matter how it looks you will be the one to get thrown into the deep end . and it is soo sad that our culture promotes men cheating on their wives as a norm . There are plenty of loose women out there who have STDs , then you come an inflict such on your poor wife , when that happens wat do u say, will you not blame yourself for not leavin the careless man before he puts life in danger .God does not approve of infidelity from both parties . So my dear you need to decided where your marriage is heading to, save your marriage or run . Fast and pray very hard for God to give you wisdom
linda pls ,i hv a stry for lib readers...how do i share?
if i dint finish up with the story i wuda thot y'all were just dating or sumn..basically, try to be a mother yor 4 kids can look up 2...(well if that involves sleepin around, so be it, if not..you know what to do)..
My husband cheats on me too but I have never cheated on him but i hurt so much,we have four kids and I have discussed it with him but he continues.
It really hurts...I don't know what to do. It really hurts and I don't know how to get my mind off it or whether I should start doing what this woman is doing.
You've eaten the forbidden fruit, and now u r hooked, just like the virgin that became a maniac after the first taste!lol.
I can tell you he knows, or there is a 70% chance he does. i remember when i caught my bf years back, now my hubby with a girl, i got back at him by doing same(unprotected). later that night at about 2am, i got up to take a contraceptive, and he saw me, unknown to me. he told me about it about 3years later, and i was SHOCKED! thats men for you! they keep it all bottled up. and his words were: i dont wanna hurt you again cos i know you'll retalliate, and it'll simply kill me! what am i saying? Please end the relnship. i understand ur need to get back at him, but its not worth it!
@Tunero or wateva ur name is, u r STUPID. Why justify d man's actions? Its men like u women shld stay away from, a man cheatin is near normal, bt a woman's own is an abomination. Illiterate fool
You are destroying yourself by going into adultery, why dont you discuss your husband's promiscuity with him instead of you going into infidelity! What ever went into your head to think you are repaying him when he doesn't even know that you are sleeping with another man! I think you should quit this dirty and shameful game and repent of your sin. Meanwhile, work on your marriage and find out why your husband keeps cheating on you.
Anyone who cheats, has no excuse what so ever. Weda ur husband cheated first or ur wife did, it's simply in ur system to cheat. No matter how good you are in bed, sex is over-rated and like a drug shud be used as at when needed. The guilt u feel after stealing something from ur best friend is not even half as much as that u feel after masturbating, talk more of an extra-marital affair as a parent. No one can change u without ur permission, so using ur husbands infidelity as an excuse is crap. U're just a perfect blend of sheer greed and selfishness.
God v mercy on u
Make holy ghost supervise u o for dis kind advice
Idiots,I'm not sure any serious guys v ever proposed,let alone marry u,demons frm d pit of hell
Gbam,oyibo!bekee wu agbara
No it makes you a good person. mumu like you!!! you 4got dt its a man's world, huh? By the time both families get to know about your new life nobody will remember that your husband did something like that before. Better watch it!!!
Nobody shld crucify dis woman some pple are just here calling her names,some are like kettle calling d pot black..her husband disrespected her and has no value for his dick.
There is no law that grants d man right to cheat we are n d 21ist century for cryng out loud.
All I have to tell d woman is for her to sit back and ask her self a sincere question,if she really cherish d marriage,if she wants in,then she shld cut the sexcapade off,at least she has got her own pound of flesh.if she wants out,she shld go for divorce period.
Anon 10.01 you are by far the dummest man anyone can come across...unreliable and unbelievable
woman, its true that the devil knows our weaknesses can only plead with you, stop this madness now b/4 its too late. If you drop dead its one way to hell and for the sake of your children call yourself to order pls.
Whatever decision you take is entirely yours but consider the impact on your children
I will like to start by asking: what if your husband decides to marry a second wife, will you marry a second husband? or will you divorce him?
How and what made him start cheating on you in the first place?(ur attitude, etc)
I think you should try to stop that habit first, call your husband and have a heart to heart talk to retrace your steps. May God help you
<
No it makes you a good person, you and you husband!!!!
>
My mum caught my dad cheating on her when we were in primary school. But because of the love she had for us(her children), she put up with his rubbish. That's a virteous woman (not u), & I'll love her till I die. Today, I can boast that my younger brother & I are doctors because of my mum, cos none of them would have been able to raise us singly. Therefore, I would say u neither love ur children or urself & u r just enjoying d infidelity so stop giving us cock & bull tale. Ode buruku oshi. Ur husband is a fool & is wrong, don't get me wrong, but u r in nigeria & u need to wake up to d realities around u & stop listening to d single forever or divorsed misadvicing u
lolss so funny i say its your life mam.
You mentioned that your husband had cheated on you several times before he gore to your family friend. That is as a result of utter and complete disregard and disrespect for you. You readily and willingly forgave him the first time that he decided you'd forgive him again and again. As a result of your tolerance, you encouraged him to cheat again and again.
I was cheated on by my partner ONCE and i walked away from that marriage and got a divorce. Bear in mind, i have two daughters and i am completely independent with a well-paid job. Not a month past before he came begging me for forgiveness. It took almost an entire year of him begging before i forgave him. He learnt his lesson and has never strayed since.
The bottom line of what I'm trying to say is this:
If he really loves you and he knows his affairs bear a risk of losing you, he will not stray.
Well, its a pathetic story, i really dnt want to judge you. Ur husband is a cheating continously and it has become part of him, i want to tell you that what he did is not, will not and never your fault. He choosed his path, so I will advice that you try all you can to make yourself happy.( NOT BY CHEATING).If he is cheating then it means he has extra cash for that, cos extra affair, means extra cash for the the other lady. So please increase your financial demand on your husband. Change school for your kids where the fees is very very very high.You can clear your wardrobe and get new nice wears, especially those expensive ones you didnt have the heart to buy, cos you ddnt want to stress your husband. Make merry, if you spend 10k on a pot of soup before, by all means double it. Make sure your kids get the very best, you get the very best. If he want to continue in such act, that is his trouble. I will also suggest you make him know that you know he is cheating on you, and if possible show him your proof, cos he will deny. Never show him you weakness, that he hurts u badly and u are devastated, cos he will rejoice in it being a bad hubby. Never quarrel with him, in fact from your action make him know that you do not care.Enjoy your life to the fullest, cos worrying about your hubby's behavior will shorten your life more....I wish you and your family long life and prosperity. GOD BLESS.
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