Dear LIB readers: Should I marry a man who always threatens but has never hit me?
From a female LIB reader
I've been dating this guy for almost two years now and although he has never hit me, he's always threatening violence. He would tell me things like 'If you don't shut your mouth, I'm going to smack you. Why would you behave like that? You deserve to be punched. One of these days I will give you a dirty slap. I don't take nonsense, I will beat you. You are pushing me, one of these days you will get it." He has been saying things like this for almost two years but has never laid a finger on me. Now he wants to marry me. I will never tolerate violence on my person and because of his words I'm hesitant to accept his proposal. When I told him what my reservations were, he said he's never hit a woman and doesn't plan to. So why does he say it all the time? My friend told me men change when they become husbands. Would he act out his threats when I marry him?
Run! Run! Run! Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. If he is saying it repeatedly, he will probably do it pretty soon. From your message, the guy seems like a egotistic maniac. "You deserve to be punched" Dump his ass....
Why are u guys advising her to leave the guy just because hw threatens her. Do u know how much she lives the guy. Soldiers always threatens to get respect and loyalty from pple, they beat only wen u push dem and will regret after. That's the secret am 1. My dear frnd, go in for love not the threat.ur Frnd's that is saying u shld run will go for him asap u leave. Be wise
Hi dudes, I also have same issue with my man his so violent some times in feel he's gonna hit me if I marry him.....aside dat he's too quick to temper we quarrel all the time...... dearamaka21@gmail.com
Hi dudes, I also have same issue with my man his so violent some times in feel he's gonna hit me if I marry him.....aside dat he's too quick to temper we quarrel all the time...... dearamaka21@gmail.com
My dear run awa from such a marriage because when you are into a stronger bond like marriage he might feel like he now owns u as for now he is just he might be trying to win his way into marriage with u but thefact is heaven help those who help themselves
@ 5:21 you're very right, if he's a hitter he'll hit you without threatening you about it, my ex used to hit me, beat me belt and he doesn't even rake, he'll just give it to me, so if he hasn't hit you for the past 2 years I don't think he will, but you can also tell him that even after you both get married, the day he hits you will mark the end of the relationship... All the best
Are u kidding me, run as fast as u can .. he has been threatening you for two years as a boyfriend wen u now become his wife, EWOO !!! its beating non stop.. pls my dear run..
Why not reach an agreement with him in writing that "If he should ever hit you for whatever reason during the course of your marriage, you are free to leave him".
@chikezie, u just said d bestest thing. No matter ow long it takes, a volcano will always erupt. Run gal. A man who doesn't respect you and hits you with his words does not deserve you...
See all dis babes dat re telling u to run for ur life nah dem der husband beat pass , dat man will neva hit u buh find out if he hit his sisters , maybe if u push him to d wall he will use does words buh he has neva tot of it .
@cynthia, are for real?? You mean a woman seriously shudnt talk around a man cos we are meant to be submissive?? I just cant believe that came from a fellow woman. Pls for making such comment you should hide your face in shame. Pls grow up. Read books n improve yourself. I dnt think you would ever get a good husband with your way of thinking cos a real man wants a woman with a good self esteem an excellent and mature way of thinking. You mentioned love buh lemme tell u in a relationship where u cant express yourself, there is no love... Kapish!!!
Hi everyone,I have just read all of the posts and I am in tears! My life for the past 10 yrs has been,I don't know how to put it, I guess lonely and loveless. I'm 26yrs I ve been with my fiance for 10 yrs and we have 2 sons. Our oldest 7 has AS too and my youngest 3 has autism. I feel so lonely in my family, none of them understand me at all and don't try. I feel like i ve lost myself. I is much harder to deal with my Fiance then my kids of course, because I shouldn't have to parent him. I don't want to parent 3 people, I want love. He doesn't even feel love I don't think! I'm very sad thinking that I am putting my self in this position, to never put myself 1st or get anything I need or want it life. My family nor his gets it and they say that because he works and takes care of his family with money I should be happy enough. I wish there were groups where iI live but I haven't found and yet. I'm very happy to find other people out there dealing with this, because living life like this is very lonely. I would love to start talking with some of you,all things happen because great zalilu was very great to me,after he help me getting back my man every thing have be working fine.Please you can contact he for help so you can be happy in your relationship.Email him at;greatzalilu@gmail.com
me I don't blive in don't smack a lady...cos wen some of dem knw dat u live by dat theory they tend to act a fool....omo as a confam African man I go by if u do wetin deserve bitin u go chop am in a feminine way
Smh. You might just go around wearing a 'future domestic violence victim' stamp on your forehead. You marry that man and you're done for.
Your own home will become a prison, your children will become his property and your husband will become a stranger.
Whatever he feels towards you, it's not love. Please do not make this mistake. It's your choice at the end of the day, after all if you're still debating this two years later then you must really love him. I hope your love is just as strong as that knock out punch coming your way.
Nigerians will never learn, this is why most of us fail outside this country.People that have no idea of what the man is capable of are commenting, saying stuff like "run for your dear life", has anyone stopped to ask what she does that makes him say all those things on that many occasions? It might be that she is rude or abusive. Women should try to look within themselves before casting stones at others.
he is still threatening you and not hit you cus u aint married and can still leave him but the moment you get married, he def will hit you one day cus u got nowhere to run baby!!!!!!!!!! think!!
231 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 231 of 231True talk....run for your life or else you will regret it if you both get marry to each other
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Ilve ur sarcasm..lol----C21
Run! Run! Run!
Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. If he is saying it repeatedly, he will probably do it pretty soon. From your message, the guy seems like a egotistic maniac. "You deserve to be punched" Dump his ass....
Why are u guys advising her to leave the guy just because hw threatens her. Do u know how much she lives the guy. Soldiers always threatens to get respect and loyalty from pple, they beat only wen u push dem and will regret after. That's the secret am 1. My dear frnd, go in for love not the threat.ur Frnd's that is saying u shld run will go for him asap u leave. Be wise
Hi dudes, I also have same issue with my man his so violent some times in feel he's gonna hit me if I marry him.....aside dat he's too quick to temper we quarrel all the time...... dearamaka21@gmail.com
Hi dudes, I also have same issue with my man his so violent some times in feel he's gonna hit me if I marry him.....aside dat he's too quick to temper we quarrel all the time...... dearamaka21@gmail.com
just be careful with him. tho dnt accept d proposal yet watch him closely
Hehehehehe gbam!
God speaks to us in many ways. If your gut is telling don't, maybe he's dangerous. .....listen. It's the Lord talking.
My dear run awa from such a marriage because when you are into a stronger bond like marriage he might feel like he now owns u as for now he is just he might be trying to win his way into marriage with u but thefact is heaven help those who help themselves
one day ur case wil be like d one of Pistorios nd Beeva. Anyway, d guy's threat to u funny shaa
@ 5:21 you're very right, if he's a hitter he'll hit you without threatening you about it, my ex used to hit me, beat me belt and he doesn't even rake, he'll just give it to me, so if he hasn't hit you for the past 2 years I don't think he will, but you can also tell him that even after you both get married, the day he hits you will mark the end of the relationship... All the best
The guy's definitely trying to avoid hitting u n u keep pushing him 2 the wall. Even the nicest person has a limit.
Something is wrong with you babatunde.
U are very stubborn and I think u really need the beating.
Are u kidding me, run as fast as u can .. he has been threatening you for two years as a boyfriend wen u now become his wife, EWOO !!! its beating non stop.. pls my dear run..
Watchout for the day he would!
Why not reach an agreement with him in writing that "If he should ever hit you for whatever reason during the course of your marriage, you are free to leave him".
@chikezie, u just said d bestest thing. No matter ow long it takes, a volcano will always erupt. Run gal. A man who doesn't respect you and hits you with his words does not deserve you...
See all dis babes dat re telling u to run for ur life nah dem der husband beat pass , dat man will neva hit u buh find out if he hit his sisters , maybe if u push him to d wall he will use does words buh he has neva tot of it .
@cynthia, are for real?? You mean a woman seriously shudnt talk around a man cos we are meant to be submissive?? I just cant believe that came from a fellow woman. Pls for making such comment you should hide your face in shame. Pls grow up. Read books n improve yourself. I dnt think you would ever get a good husband with your way of thinking cos a real man wants a woman with a good self esteem an excellent and mature way of thinking. You mentioned love buh lemme tell u in a relationship where u cant express yourself, there is no love... Kapish!!!
Hi everyone,I have just read all of the posts and I am in tears! My life for the past 10 yrs has been,I don't know how to put it, I guess lonely and loveless. I'm 26yrs I ve been with my fiance for 10 yrs and we have 2 sons. Our oldest 7 has AS too and my youngest 3 has autism. I feel so lonely in my family, none of them understand me at all and don't try. I feel like i ve lost myself. I is much harder to deal with my Fiance then my kids of course, because I shouldn't have to parent him. I don't want to parent 3 people, I want love. He doesn't even feel love I don't think! I'm very sad thinking that I am putting my self in this position, to never put myself 1st or get anything I need or want it life. My family nor his gets it and they say that because he works and takes care of his family with money I should be happy enough. I wish there were groups where iI live but I haven't found and yet. I'm very happy to find other people out there dealing with this, because living life like this is very lonely. I would love to start talking with some of you,all things happen because great zalilu was very great to me,after he help me getting back my man every thing have be working fine.Please you can contact he for help so you can be happy in your relationship.Email him at;greatzalilu@gmail.com
Wot kind of stupid qustn r u askin.
D ting de pepper you...see as u vex on top am...pls take a chill pill..
And yes, we can see allusions to your article..we don see am, we don read...stop sounding so smug jare..
me I don't blive in don't smack a lady...cos wen some of dem knw dat u live by dat theory they tend to act a fool....omo as a confam African man I go by if u do wetin deserve bitin u go chop am in a feminine way
it is basically your choice, you can decide to go for the one who dosent rain threat, but will beat you tongue out in marriage.....its all ur choice.
Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh,plus out of the abundance of the threats the hand worketh..one day you go hear kpola!
Won't u mind your business? Wole soyinka
Smh. You might just go around wearing a 'future domestic violence victim' stamp on your forehead. You marry that man and you're done for.
Your own home will become a prison, your children will become his property and your husband will become a stranger.
Whatever he feels towards you, it's not love. Please do not make this mistake. It's your choice at the end of the day, after all if you're still debating this two years later then you must really love him. I hope your love is just as strong as that knock out punch coming your way.
Nigerians will never learn, this is why most of us fail outside this country.People that have no idea of what the man is capable of are commenting, saying stuff like "run for your dear life", has anyone stopped to ask what she does that makes him say all those things on that many occasions? It might be that she is rude or abusive. Women should try to look within themselves before casting stones at others.
he is still threatening you and not hit you cus u aint married and can still leave him but the moment you get married, he def will hit you one day cus u got nowhere to run baby!!!!!!!!!! think!!
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