Dear LIB readers: Should I marry a man who always threatens but has never hit me?
From a female LIB reader
I've been dating this guy for almost two years now and although he has never hit me, he's always threatening violence. He would tell me things like 'If you don't shut your mouth, I'm going to smack you. Why would you behave like that? You deserve to be punched. One of these days I will give you a dirty slap. I don't take nonsense, I will beat you. You are pushing me, one of these days you will get it." He has been saying things like this for almost two years but has never laid a finger on me. Now he wants to marry me. I will never tolerate violence on my person and because of his words I'm hesitant to accept his proposal. When I told him what my reservations were, he said he's never hit a woman and doesn't plan to. So why does he say it all the time? My friend told me men change when they become husbands. Would he act out his threats when I marry him?
Ur self esteem must be the lowest of the low. A violent man is a violent man either in words or deed. Why are u still with such a character? U need to ask urself this question: would he say that to his fellow men? He is a bully. RUN
Well if you being together 2 years and he has never hit you, I doubt he will. Maybe he is saying all those things to let you know what some men would do in such situations, look at it that way.
Run oooooooo. The moment you become his Mrs, its all over o. He will beat you blue black. Take it from someone who has the same issue. God bless you as you run for your life.
Yes, he will love. There's a red flag now, take the hint before it's too late. Everything starts in the mind; if he can conceive it, he will do it one day. He says it because he is thinking it, and actions are always a result of preconceived of thought. Marriage is a lot harder than a courtship, and your patience as individuals will be really tested. If he is threatening to hit you now, when you get married and you provoke his anger even more, he will eventually do it. If you cannot tolerate it, don't put yourself in that situation. Furthermore, his words are very harsh; telling you things like 'You deserve to be punched' are very disrespectful. And if he does not respect you now, he will not change when you become his wife. I pray you make the right decision. All the best. x
My dear, think about your life and if you are ready to carry the burden of domestic violence. Not only is there physical violence but also disrespect and violence in speech counts, because they can easily escalate. Please visit my fashion blog
Get a life. Nor be your problem dey do me now. when u dey sleep with am for night did you invite me? pls whatever you decide for yourself is okay and dont bore us with your issues.
If truly he has anger issues by saying those words, he will definitely do it and do it in a big way. The first time he might hit you will be deadly. So better think with your medulla, test his anger extremely and pray for God guidance.
Investigate him a lot from families, friends and colleagues before you accept that proposal of his.
Discuss it with him, and you both should seek counsel or get closer to God. And accept his proposal but let it come with conditions based on the fact that if he doesn't stop speaking to u in that manner you would reconsider his proposal. Just wait till u see a change before marrying him. No need to have a wedding in a haste
My dear even if he doesn't hit you,those words he say belittles your ego and self confidence.Remember out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.Believe you me,he'll soon carry out that threat.The rest of it you know the answer
The fact that he even utters the words to a grown woman shows what he's actually thinking and who he is. That he thinks and says you deserve to be punched is belittling on your person.you will blame yourself in the long run as I'm 99.9% positive he will hit you one day and once it happens the first time,that's it.
you should watch your mouth then. you talk too damn much if he aint a violent man and yet you push him to that limit. HE SHOULD BE RETHINKING MARRYING YOU. CHECK YOURSELF!!!
He's prolly never gonna hit u, but u also need not push him to the edge, women also change wen they get married and do things to make men mad, he's only keeping u in check with d threats, almost 2yrs is a long time, if he cud hit u, he wud have long b4 now. Ola-Henry
He probably will my dear. mayb he's not hitting you yet cos he knows you might leave him if he does. by d time u r married its a complete different ball game o
"This matter mess for my mouth, come add honey join. I no fit swallow mess and wouldnt want to spit the honey".
My dear fellow woman,
Many of the men that hit their wives/girlfriends dont give prior notice or warning before they do so.
I am also one of the people that can use mouth to pull down cocoahouse but i can not kill common cockroach in the house. When i was in school, i can remember the day i moved out of my room because a lizard entered and i could not kill it.
Althought, my own threats is not in the aspect of harrasiing my spouse. Most times, when am threatening my neices or people around me, my husband will say 'enu e ti po ju'.
less i divert from your case, what am trying to say is that, your husband to be may be somebody that can not hurt any woman but i will still say most men are unpredictable, especially in today's world where we hear of marital issues, violence and killings here and there.
Please marry him if you love him and pray for him always because some women out there will prefer their husband to issue this kind of threat than what they are going through now.
He will so beaaaattt the hell out of u.....u better run for your life. One does not need to hit u physically before u r hurt....words also hurt, and one who genuinely loves you would not say things that would hurt you, unless it's to make u a better person.
Pray and be focused...be watchful and submissive too,just be the right and ideal woman because the truth is,saying such doesn't mean he can or cannot hit you,likewise,if u start with another man and he didn't touch or hit u during courtship,it doesn't mean he would never hit u wen married,pray for the right man and focus your strength on the positivities...dear,just pray to God for directions and don't be a lady that will do anything to warrant been physically abused by any man...play your part well and pray to God to guide u! All the best. Tee!
Girl,guess u should watch it urself,what do u do/say to make him say all these,may be in some cases,u are just difficult to controle and that's theonly way to shut u up,I don't support violence or man hitting a woman,but hey,u should slow down,watch things u say and choose new words,since he hasn't hit u,then he loves but finds it difficult to stop u coz u also don't know when to stop or shut up.
U want my opinion then pls D0 N0T MARRY THIS MAN. What man uses wrds like that. My friends dad never hit her mum till he married her n knew she wasn't going nowher. Sme men are like that they plan n wait. A guy 1nce said 2 me All this shakara u doin 4 me n dealing with me. After ur in lve with me Ill deal with u. He said it as a joke bt I luked at his eyes n I knew..Thnk God I wasn't in love yet so I dumped him asap. 4 me if u aint sayin 'Imma smack ur ass' in that sexy way that I cnt wait 2 get with u then sry its a no no 4 me. But then again this is jst my opinion I culd b wrng---C21
No one can answer dat questn for u my dear felow LIBer... Cus humans ar d most unpredictable species. We may say he's gona act dem out somday nd den doesnt. U can on d oda hand get maried to som1 who has neva thretend to smack u nd den starts it wen u get married. May God help u thru sis
Also,check yourself what are the things u r doing that always frustrated him?am saying this because women can frustrate their men,therefore u need to adjust also....back to ur question i will say follow your instinct
LEAVE HIM MY DEAR..UR FRIEND IS RIGHT MEN CHANGE AND BECOME WORSE WHEN U GET MARRIED...WITH THE PRESSURES OF MARRIAGE AND JUGGLING KIDS...HE WILL SURELY LAY HIS HANDS ON U...RUN WHILE YOU STILL CAN...DONT TAKE A GAMBLE ON UR LIFE..LIFE IS TOO PRECIOUS...
Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks, moreover, in the space of two years how many times do he say the words I love you and am happy to be with you.
In my opinion, if you marry him, you have given him the certificate of marriage to abuse you. RUN.
Run for ur life dear, cos he will surly giv u d beatin of ur life sonnest. My hubby did same last dec cos I foundout he was cheatin on me and dis was dsame person dat said he wuld nver hit a woman. Till date I still regret getin married to a beast.
Since he's already saying n threatening to do it den my dear one day he will surely do it. So it's left for u to be hiis slave and dnt do anytin dat will piss him off or better still walk away if u knw u d stubborn type. An abusive marriage or relationship is a NO NO for me.
YES HE WILL... Like i always say, love n respect go hand in hand...any other thing is a fake....he may love u more compared to other chics in his life but girl, this your guy no get respect for you ( and women in general if i must say).
we women cud b annoying some times but there are ways a real man sud address it not d "i will beat u threats"...make e grow up jare!; and you too give him some respect, stop bruising his ego (if that is the case here tho).
The Bible says that out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. He is a violent person and he will start beating you when you marry him. Please don't be a victim of domestic violence and divorce. Run now because you can.
Pls don't!! One day he will give life to his words. These are warning signs, a man should never talk to a woman that way. You deserve better, you are valuable, God loves you beyond words and would never treat you that way, so why accept it from a mere man? Don't marry him, God will bring His perfect plan for you. That man needs work, he doesn't know what true love is, pls leave him before you fall a victim.
He has already given you enough pointers...so when he starts to hit you don't complain....you better address it now before he turns to husband and u turn to punching bag..... Why threaten in d first place? As in? .... God help you..
Just one advice to all ladies, including the poster, please if you are dating a guy that's hot tempered, please you need to end that relationship, you don't wait for a volcano to erupt before you start running, because every volcano is dangerous, and no matter how long it remains dormant, it will surely erupt some day
he most definitely is a violent person.The bible says out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks i don't know whats wrong with u women how many times will they tell u the same thing until he takes u to the land of no return with his fists then u will know. Pls don't marry him.
Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks...mark my word, he is going to hit you soon. Hit my name to Read on What is love language and what has it got to do with a successful relationship and marriage?
He has not hit you yet because he has not married you. He WILL hit you once you guys marry.
My sister's husband was like that. They dated for 3 years but he never hit her, only threats. 5 months after they married, he slapped her. She made a big fuss out of it and family settled the matter. Now, even family is tired of getting involved because the beatings are nearly daily.
My dear poster he will so turn u 2a slapping n punching bag after he marries u cos then he'll feel he has gotten u n u can't go anywhr(typical naija man mentality)!
Marry am na, abeg quickly too. Stupid question. Do you think abuse is only physical? Silly thing like you. All these new born babies talking about marriage like its a walk in the park, you wan turn yaself to correctional institute? Na you were no get degree for psychology and human behavior wan come cure an abusive person. Ladies bikonu, domestic violence is not only when a guy lays his hands on you. Its also when he uses words to intimidate you, belittle you. When he his being mentally, emotionally and then physically abusive. The first two, you don't see the scars but they show themselves in your behavior, how you feel about yourself, your self esteem. He will beat you down mentally until you begin to accept that you are nothing and without him, you remain nothing. Biko, if a guy threatens you with words, take ya slippers and run because one day go be one day, wey him go wan test out that theory wey him dey talk about since. Na your face and stomach he go begin from. Child, make I no hear say you dey write Linda Ikeji say, remember me?, now the guy is beating me, what should I do. I swear I go enter this computer bitch slap you worst than he did, you hear me so.
Whom would you rather have? A man who doesnt threaten you but goes ahead to pounce on you at the slightest provocation, or a man who utters perpetual threats but would never muster the courage to hit you? Have you ever heard the saying about empty drums making the loudest noise? I hardly think this man will hit you. If you like him, its up to you. Cheers!
My darling, YES HE WILL!!!!!! Plz move on. God is revealing it to you now. U don't need a prophet or pastor or prayer or fasting or wateva! You have been put on notice!
Nwanne!!! The truth is that all these threats are merely a prelude to what is to come. He just dey wait make you officially become im property then he go begin practicalize the threats... you better run for your life!!!
Very difficult question to answer.......now tell him dt u'll only marry him if he doesn't or never meant any of those threats, buh hey make sure he loves u and cnt live witout u, den if he promises.. Tell him u'll leave him d day he'll ly hands on u and pls hold ur mouth cus I know how we women run our mouth cus d prob might be evn be ur running mouth. #word!
He will beat you once he marries you and would claim he has been warning you! He his just waiting for when he thinks he has the upper hand!He has been warning you subconsciously and you are been warned now! And by the way threatening violence in itself is a form of abuse and violence. Its like owning a dog (it stays outside in the compound),its aggressive towards you by barking at you a lot and you begin to wonder if it will one day bite you and then you are considering bringing it indoors thinking maybe if you bring it indoors it will stop! Babe it will bite you most definately!!
This is not rocket science, he has threatened to beat and smack you, on numerous occasions, but he hasn't actually done it!!! And you want to know if it is okay to marry him, like play like play, once you get married, all the threats he has made against you, would become a reality!!! Marriage is not a do or die institution o, You better end the relationship as soon as possible!!! Just because you want to be become "Mrs" by fire by force, you you are willing to endure a marriage, that would be built on the foundation of threats and domestic violence, for 2 years you have seen the signs, you better run and don't look back, bloody idiot!!!whizman
Seriously???? Reader, You must be one dumb ass to ask such a silly question. In fact go ahead and marry him. If you are waiting for someone to tell you to run I'm sorry for you. But for real, why would you even still be in a relationship with this 'person'?
This is really a decision you've got to make ursef, as no Liber will be there with you in the journey of marriage, although he's likely not to lift a finger becos even some guys that don't even threaten you during the courtship still beats up their women in marriage, talk it out with him, pray and follow your heart, it is well.
Personally i dont think he will hit u< as men we always take some measures<, some women if given a chance to rant will make it a habit< go ahead girl n marry him< Danny from Abuja<
Men are always in their best behaviours with ladies prior to marrying them. If his is to regularly threaten to smack you then I bet he'll take it futher when you eventually marry him.......I may be wrong! But if you really love and wanna give him a chance, then you can go ahead and stop giving him nonsense, cos e be like say you sef get your own wahala.
Personally i dont think he will hit u<, real men at times take precautionary measures bcos some women if given a chances to rants will make it a habit< Go ahead and marry him dear<
He will surely hit you after marriage if he always threaten it. But I understand the difficulties of finding a spouse let alone forfeiting one over threats so I feel whatever we say here you will still marry him. Pray he gets less irritated. But if you can, tell him the only hindrance you have are his threats and you want to hold off a bit and see if he improves and see how he reacts. If he loves you, he will promise never to beat you. Or to stop the beating threats.
You mean you are asking such a question in this economy that husband is scarce? Don't you realise that you are nothing without a man, especially if it's a mad man? Plan the wedding, quickly. Order your aso-ebi. Make sure you sign contract with your aso-ebi girls, to enlist them as 'prayer warriors' for when the man starts to pummel you after the wedding. They (the aso-ebi girls) cannot come and wear aso-ebi for nothing. They must earn their slot, in advance. Afterall, "marriage is for better, for worse" and when you enter (even with a violent man who has been warning you of his own character), you must stay there. You know, bearing Mrs is the ultimate in this life.
You must have been under a rock on a remote island for the past three years. That is why you didn't hear about Titi Arowolo. Oh sorry, your 'god is a big god, who will not allow such a thing happen to you'. Especially as you're trying to prove that he forgot to give you brain when he created you.
Hmm honestly I wouldn't trust a man that threaten to beat a women like that constantly and I doubt if u should cuz truth be told men change and especially when he finally believes that he now owns you like u are now his wife and u are going no where because u guys are married. Am not one to make any decision for any one or to judge any one buh u should ask urself one question“ are u ready to tolerate the beating when it starts”. Because marriage is forever or worst and beating is worst that anything. Soooooo think...........
Run for the hills!!! When you two get married he will most likely start beating you. How can a man that claims he "loves" you speak to you in such a way?! And he has been threatening/scolding you for 2 years??!! Please leave this man alone.
Pls dnt. He wil change afta u guys get married. Most guys change afta getin wat dey nid.he might swear and do everytin now but I assure u he wil change.
That's how it starts, he will first threaten you, then one day he will slap you and from slap to beat and maybe shoot you dead! Run as far as your legs can carry you!
TOoh! Some mehn can be like that sha! I suppose those words or threat are jez to correct you...Since you say mehn change after marriage....Then you should be optimistic....What if you date a man who doesn't make violence threat to you during your courtship and he later turns how to be a "wife BEATER"....Well if you are still not convince with his words and promise then free him.
Personally i dont think he will hit u< he only tries to be the Man THAT HE IS< U know some ladies if given opportunity to rants may turn it into harbit< go ahead and marry him dear<
my dear nobody can give you better advise than yourself. you've been with this guy for this long you alone knows how nice, sassy, polite brutal he has treated you. kindly check all the good times you've had and see if it outweighs the bad ones he ever did and take positive dicision. some people say what they can never do.
My dear, don't listen to what people will say. Pray nd ask of God's intervention nd bear dis in mind nobody is perfect. He might not do such after marrying you. Just seek for God's intervention in ur marriage else it won't go far even if it's an angel dat is marrying u
Yes he will act out his threat. The guy will beat shit out of you after marriage , you better run now, it will be more difficult after marriage and kids.
there is nothing wrong with the guy, am also like that have never torch my wife before not even a lit slap, for over 6yrs now everyday i we tell her i we slap u i we slap u. so baby go ahead but have this in mind people are not d-same. best regards.
Dear sister, put him in care of God. He might be one of those people that have mouth and never act what they say. But you may need to observe him more critically. He might be a very nice and cool person. Like me, I get mouth die, but I can not act all what I'm saying. thing like, "If I come down from this car, you are in trouble; if I handled you,.... etc. But the fact is that I can't hurt anybody. Study him and commit him in the hands of God. Enjoy your relationship
U carry ur own life matter come WPC HQ (world peoples congress headquarters) for free advice, u no know any church wey dey do marriage counselling?...winsh
The thing is, u are in the right position to kno maybe or not he can do it. I cant advice u on vague comment u made on him, we don't even kno what u did that warrant those threatening
Dear there, if there are 50 guys in d world and 50 ladies in the world, maybe 25 guys would never really hit a lady, but the other 25 would, the point is every lady want to have the best guy who would love, respect and never hit them; now my question is do we abandon the other 25 and go fighting over the best 25 who would never hit a lady? (the cause for polygamy) which is a great sin before our creator. How well, girl have u tried being the best girl and see if u can keep this guy the best which he has always been since he has never hit u since the past 2 years? my point is this, u will be addressed the way u are dressed; what am saying is, carry urself with dignity and behave matured and u will have u man's respect all ur life. provided he is not a drunk, only those do things without knowing it. pls dont follow those rash advice. follow ur heart. @ jessyangels4love@yahoo.com
Dear there, if there are 50 guys in d world and 50 ladies in the world, maybe 25 guys would never really hit a lady, but the other 25 would, the point is every lady want to have the best guy who would love, respect and never hit them; now my question is do we abandon the other 25 and go fighting over the best 25 who would never hit a lady? (the cause for polygamy) which is a great sin before our creator. How well, girl have u tried being the best girl and see if u can keep this guy the best which he has always been since he has never hit u since the past 2 years? my point is this, u will be addressed the way u are dressed; what am saying is, carry urself with dignity and behave matured and u will have u man's respect all ur life. provided he is not a drunk, only those do things without knowing it. pls dont follow those rash advice. follow ur heart. @ jessyangels4love@yahoo.com
I PITY YOU...THAT IS ALL I HAVE TO TELL YOU!I guess you are not watching the news or reading the papers and havent heard about akolade arowolo and oscar pistorius... if you want candid advice email yosore06@gmail.com
Dear there, if there are 50 guys in d world and 50 ladies in the world, maybe 25 guys would never really hit a lady, but the other 25 would, the point is every lady want to have the best guy who would love, respect and never hit them; now my question is do we abandon the other 25 and go fighting over the best 25 who would never hit a lady? (the cause for polygamy) which is a great sin before our creator. How well, girl have u tried being the best girl and see if u can keep this guy the best which he has always been since he has never hit u since the past 2 years? my point is this, u will be addressed the way u are dressed; what am saying is, carry urself with dignity and behave matured and u will have u man's respect all ur life. provided he is not a drunk, only those do things without knowing it. pls dont follow those rash advice. follow ur heart. @ jessyangels4love@yahoo.com
You are going through what is called verbal abuse (violence). How do you feel when you hear such words coming out of your boyfriend's mouth? Happy? Definitely not. He's already abusing you, he'll only take it up a notch, when you are married. Run now, that you still can. It's better to be unmarried, until somebody that respects you come over. Does he or will he threaten his female boss/colleagues. He's a beast that MUST show HIMSELF as the BOSS. He's not worth your life.
You are going through what is called verbal abuse (violence). How do you feel when you hear such words coming out of your boyfriend's mouth? Happy? Definitely not. He's already abusing you, he'll only take it up a notch, when you are married. Run now, that you still can. It's better to be unmarried, until somebody that respects you come over. Does he or will he threaten his female boss/colleagues. He's a beast that MUST show HIMSELF as the BOSS. He's not worth your life.
U better FLEE...he is threatening cos he wishes he can start the slapping and punching now but he knowz that u will never wana marry him so he is obviously waiting for the right time and thatz after u both get married to eachother... Well,as for me marriage will never be a trap bcos its not a do or die affair...once a man lays his hands on me,I will WALK AWAY and file for a divorce straight up!!!...becos he will NEVER stop!!
This is the rest of your life you're talking about here. There are better ways of handling issues you have than telling you he will beat you.. If you marry this man or not it's your choice but my dear no reasonable man should speak to a lady like that no matter how hot tempered he is. And as far as i'm concerned those threats are not empty threats at alllllllllll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The guy is a straight forward fellow,he's telling u his mind bt unfortunately most of u babes love gies who pretend to be soft&tender bt@ d end wl blow u any hw lk d BOKO&dump u.Marry him&learn to avoid things he doesn't like.
You know when people say she must have known she must have seen sings, these are the signs. Please font marry him. Listen to the voice of reasoning. This happened to me too. After we got married he got more daring and bold. His threats turned to small shoving and one day he beat me up. It took me three years to leave and 2 miscarriages. I thank God I had no kids with him.
He's been threatening you for almost two years, yet you stood by him, which shows you are in love with him. If you can't stand who he is , you should have called a spade a spade and let him be. sticking with him for 2 years on means you'll accept him for him. He's never hit you once so your attitude is uncalled for. you should have left him long ago if you truly know it's beyond you.
Heed the voice of reason.. RUN! My ex always used to form that kind threat and then claim he was joking. 6 years down the line he tried to strangle me and then claimed he was joking (JOKER) well I tried to believe it; then in the 7th year after acting up big time, he said he had to be honest with me, that he thinks he can hit a woman. At least he was honest. Me a ran oh! It hurt badly, but men heart ache or body ache I chose the former. Sweetie please STEP..
But what is it that you do that makes him threaten? Because Duncan Mighty said "before you separate fight make you first of all separate quarrel". Seat back and ask yourself the question...WORLUTING
my dear if u rilly love him go ahead with the marriage but give him some conditions that anytime he slap u or beat u that is the end of the marriage, and u avoid making him to bring out the animal in him becos we women e dey our body.
From Blessing. I enjoy u LIB readers. So funny. The person that said "seek advice somewhere else no good person here" that means u are bad too. Anyways, my dear, ask for divine direction
My dear,Love is kind,any man dat talks 2 u dis way doesn't love u enough to tell u kind words......he'll beat u mercilessly soon.......even u won't believe it.....leave him now that U can.
Yes his threats are not too good for a would be hubby, but what about those dat don't say it but will perfect it. Just talk to ur God if u re convinced marry him, dose saying run, run to where is it not men of these days?? God only will help us women even with d one dat threaten n d one dat did not. Gbam!!!
Why would a man talk to his lady that way first of all? Please ladies, allow these men with tempers to go and either control their tempers or jam women that will give them fire for fire. Are you not an adult, why would a fellow adult speak to you in such a horrible way and you sit there talking about we are dating. Unfortunately, this lady will heed the advice of the person that will say don't provoke him and he will not carry out his threats. No man worth his salt should speak to another person like this, talk more of a person he says he loves.
I would not encourage my sister to move forward with such a man. He does not respect you in anyway and he will have no problems hitting you, punching you or whatever. He does not plan to hit you he says...he just tells you he will. The choice is yours. Either go and let a man that has some sense locate you or you can settle for this brute in waiting.
Well the way he speaks shows he might have hot temper funny he might not, infact just dont know wat to advise, some will say test him now make him very angry but men dat can also lead to another gobe, babe follow ur heart
My dear,do u know d difference between complete and finished? D difference is that when u marry d ryt person,u are complete. But see ehn...when u marry d wrong person,u are finished! Shine ur eye ooo,but pls don't fail to consult wit our oga at d top. All d best.
I have a question for Naija males on here. Where do you come off thinking because you married someone, they should curb their behavior so as not to "provoke" you? What in the name of God is wrong with you and where did we as mothers go wrong?
A grown adult woman should marry you and be walking on egg shells to avoid your wrath? And yet you all are one of the most irresponsible set of husbands with your philandering ways and inability to take care of the home front without complaining on Nairaland and LIB at every given chance. Do you know that if you respect a woman, you will get way more than what you keep trying to force down these poor girls throats?
As for you women, see someone saying give him to God. This is her boyfriend o, she has seen signs of doom and you are asking her to pray. Pray that what again...Lord please let him not really punch me. Sometimes I believe the treatment you receive from these men serves you right. Once again, I turn back to our parents...please raise these men with a sense of self and raise these women with sense.
@Hilary, do you speak to your bosses that way? Do you think it is right to speak to a fellow adult in such a demeaning way? Why do our men have a lack of decorum when it comes to their girlfriends and wives. We are married, not in a slave master relationship. Naija men should learn to be respectful to women please. What is if I punch you? Is he a child? Only children speak in such tones. As you all say...tufia!
Hmm. Nana, I completely get. U. My husband used to hit me even wen we were dating. Till I stood up for myself & even reported him to my parents. So this is your best opportunity to set it straight, that u detest been beaten. The kingdom of heaven suffereth violence and the violent take it by force.
A man controls his temper NO MATTER WHAT. All of you saying, what did you say to frustrate him are not men...I am so sorry. LIB I follow your blog, I am a lover of some things Nigerian but some of your men...o my God! It is a shame what your women go through in the name of marriage. It is really sad. I know you all have some good ones out there and I say a big kudos to them. But it seems most are disrespectful babies that can't control their tempers. So sad. So sad. The rumors going around about nigerian men is very true. I hope your women demand more because I have met some strong women from Nigeria and I can't believe this is what they have to come home to.
My dear, you mean you are asking such a question in this economy that husband is scarce? Don't you realise that you are nothing without a man, especially if it's a mad man? Plan the wedding, quickly. Hunt for wedding venues. Make appointment with caterers. Order your aso-ebi. Make sure you sign contract with your aso-ebi girls, to enlist them as 'prayer warriors' for when the man starts to pummel you after the wedding. They (the aso-ebi girls) cannot come and wear aso-ebi for nothing. They must earn their slot, in advance. Afterall, "marriage is for better, for worse" and when you enter (even with a violent man who has been warning you of his own character), you must stay there. You know, bearing Mrs is the ultimate in this life.
You must have been under a rock on a remote island for the past three years. That is why you didn't hear about Titi Arowolo. Oh sorry, your 'god is a big god, who will not allow such a thing happen to you'. Especially as you're trying to prove that he forgot to give you brain when he created you.
Lol,trust me babe...if a guy is a hitter, he won't evn talk abt it.d hot slap will send d mssg...mayb u r stubborn n he's jus tryna scare u to get some respect frm u
All na wash! Rong advierz. Wil u use cos of dat n leav d guy u luvs so much, ur own na play beter wise up n settle dwn. So we d single wil see d avilable ones to settle too. If dat is d only pblm den u learn to remain mute whn he is takin cos you re a woman n woman is made to be sumestive to his hsbnd. #cynthia luv ur advice on dz topic# better pikn!
1st, it sounds like you could be annoying, confrontational, aggravating, someone who likes to start/cause arguments etc (not judging you or anything like that). I think he'll definitely hit you if you guys get married; he might not plan to but he most likely will. After 2yrs, imagine a huge bucket being filled with a cup of water every time you annoyed him throughout those 2yrs. By now, that bucket would be almost full - imagine that to be his tolerance and anger control. He probably hasn't hit you yet because maybe 1. He just doesn't see himself as a woman beater, 2. You're not yet attached to him and you could leave him if he did, 3. He actually loves you or like you more than any other female he's known etc. But the fact he threatens you when ever he's not happy with you means that to some level or degree, he sees violence as an option at some point in time (consciously or sub-consciously for him). If you marry him, 1st his patience/tolerance is probably thin by now; the smallest form of annoyance can set him off; now add the fact that you'll now be all his, you have nowhere to go with more chances of annoying him more frequently. My dear, his first eruption would be very drastic because for his self control and all the anger he's been suppressing all these years will come to a head at once. And if you survive that, it'll only continue. The slightest glitch would trigger a violent reaction, even when you're not being annoying or aggravating. Lord help you. I think you should go your way and try to adjust your attitude towards guys in the future and he needs to start with someone else who he doesn't have any pent up, underlying anger towards.
@Chioma Nnani, are you seriously kidding me?!?! Is that your honest hand on heart advise?! SHAME ON YOU!! How dare you tell a woman to walk in a marriage with Godzilla in the making?! If husband is scarce to you, then go and marry him. Lets see if you will give the same advice when they have pounded your silly tiny peanut brain
Sometimes women are like children, stubborn and misconceiving. If you behave well, he wont hit you but if you misbehave, he will definitely hit one one day. The choice is yours.
Some stupid retarded goats b comentin and sendin abuses. If you knw your cerebrum is so empty and cant bring forth good words, you had b quiet. Rubbish....My dear, I bet it he wii neva touch you, cos if rilli he wanted 2, he wuda don dat a looong tyme ago.
Madam, i'm a living witness to the fact that verbal abuse actually leads to the real deal. Was in a relationship and a situation led to it. I paused and what confirmed my fears was that he was violent to his siblings as well. Ended the relationship. Later confirmed he was actually known to be violent. I beg you by the mercies of God to run for your dear life. He will surely carry out his threat.
AHHHHH mo gbe! sa re lo kia kia. wo o maa no e very soon just wait.ypu better pack your bags and run before its all over. dont cry dont beg because it will be all over!
What kinda advice is this.So instead of praying 4 better things like orphans n long life. It'll b 2 pray that 1 irrespnsible man who tinks its his right 2 beat women nt 2 beat u. Is that the wrk shld do her entire life? Abeg leave him n save urslf the stress..mtcheew
231 comments:
1 – 200 of 231 Newer› Newest»One day he will be forced to hit you
Pls don't enter such marriage run for your dear life o.He will be beat u one day
Ur self esteem must be the lowest of the low. A violent man is a violent man either in words or deed. Why are u still with such a character? U need to ask urself this question: would he say that to his fellow men? He is a bully. RUN
Lolade
Yes. You can also decide to handle a snake that hisses loud and threatens to strike but has never done so.
For the tot gives birth to the action!! Dts all
Please dnt go into anything ur not comfortable with.
pls my dear dat is a warning signal take note cos it happens to me
Lol. My dear he will hit u one day! Ur friend is right o, gf different from wife o! Think am well.
Pls dnt go into anything ur not comfortable with.
Such man could beat U̶̲̥̅̊ up one day #bright bravo#
he'll nt onli hit u but HEAT u after marriage.
Babes! RUN!
Trust me if u get married to him,all the beatings he has been savin he will pour them on u,a man who won't hit a lady won't mention it @all..
He will beat u o.he is only waiting to get the license. Borrow yourself brain my sister.kapish?
To marry a man who always threatens to hit you is a grave mistake. It is only a matter of time for him to finally beat you.
he'll nt onli hit u but HEAT u after marriage.
Babes! RUN!
Well if you being together 2 years and he has never hit you, I doubt he will. Maybe he is saying all those things to let you know what some men would do in such situations, look at it that way.
Run oooooooo. The moment you become his Mrs, its all over o. He will beat you blue black. Take it from someone who has the same issue. God bless you as you run for your life.
That is a seed growing in him and it will soon mature, he will carry out his threat on you sooner or later....
My dear run while you still can; don't end like Reeva Steenkamp.
*My R1.50c comment *
Yes, he will love. There's a red flag now, take the hint before it's too late. Everything starts in the mind; if he can conceive it, he will do it one day. He says it because he is thinking it, and actions are always a result of preconceived of thought. Marriage is a lot harder than a courtship, and your patience as individuals will be really tested. If he is threatening to hit you now, when you get married and you provoke his anger even more, he will eventually do it. If you cannot tolerate it, don't put yourself in that situation. Furthermore, his words are very harsh; telling you things like 'You deserve to be punched' are very disrespectful. And if he does not respect you now, he will not change when you become his wife. I pray you make the right decision. All the best. x
My dear, think about your life and if you are ready to carry the burden of domestic violence. Not only is there physical violence but also disrespect and violence in speech counts, because they can easily escalate. Please visit my fashion blog
Get a life. Nor be your problem dey do me now. when u dey sleep with am for night did you invite me? pls whatever you decide for yourself is okay and dont bore us with your issues.
My dear run while you still can; that's how it starts, you don't want to end like Reeva Steenkamp.
*My R1.50c comment *
Babes, RUN!!! When you become 'his', you'll be suprised at how much beating you'll get. RUN!!!
yes pls marry him.
If truly he has anger issues by saying those words, he will definitely do it and do it in a big way. The first time he might hit you will be deadly. So better think with your medulla, test his anger extremely and pray for God guidance.
Investigate him a lot from families, friends and colleagues before you accept that proposal of his.
Good luck
Discuss it with him, and you both should seek counsel or get closer to God. And accept his proposal but let it come with conditions based on the fact that if he doesn't stop speaking to u in that manner you would reconsider his proposal. Just wait till u see a change before marrying him. No need to have a wedding in a haste
yes he will. thts even whn his real person comes to manifestation.
My dear even if he doesn't hit you,those words he say belittles your ego and self confidence.Remember out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.Believe you me,he'll soon carry out that threat.The rest of it you know the answer
Ask google!
He will one day...that's the truth.
Don't marry him - One day he will match his threats / words with action
The fact that he even utters the words to a grown woman shows what he's actually thinking and who he is.
That he thinks and says you deserve to be punched is belittling on your person.you will blame yourself in the long run as I'm 99.9% positive he will hit you one day and once it happens the first time,that's it.
thts whn his real person comes to manifestation.
you should watch your mouth then. you talk too damn much if he aint a violent man and yet you push him to that limit. HE SHOULD BE RETHINKING MARRYING YOU. CHECK YOURSELF!!!
He's prolly never gonna hit u, but u also need not push him to the edge, women also change wen they get married and do things to make men mad, he's only keeping u in check with d threats, almost 2yrs is a long time, if he cud hit u, he wud have long b4 now.
Ola-Henry
If u are beautiful,u can do shakara.but if u are ugly,marry him fast fast.
He probably will my dear. mayb he's not hitting you yet cos he knows you might leave him if he does. by d time u r married its a complete different ball game o
"This matter mess for my mouth, come add honey join. I no fit swallow mess and wouldnt want to spit the honey".
My dear fellow woman,
Many of the men that hit their wives/girlfriends dont give prior notice or warning before they do so.
I am also one of the people that can use mouth to pull down cocoahouse but i can not kill common cockroach in the house. When i was in school, i can remember the day i moved out of my room because a lizard entered and i could not kill it.
Althought, my own threats is not in the aspect of harrasiing my spouse. Most times, when am threatening my neices or people around me, my husband will say 'enu e ti po ju'.
less i divert from your case, what am trying to say is that, your husband to be may be somebody that can not hurt any woman but i will still say most men are unpredictable, especially in today's world where we hear of marital issues, violence and killings here and there.
Please marry him if you love him and pray for him always because some women out there will prefer their husband to issue this kind of threat than what they are going through now.
Dnt marry him...a man dat loves u is not meant to threaten u....flee
I dnt knw ask google pls.
He will so beaaaattt the hell out of u.....u better run for your life. One does not need to hit u physically before u r hurt....words also hurt, and one who genuinely loves you would not say things that would hurt you, unless it's to make u a better person.
marry him...he will never beat u...u sef behave your self and stop pushing him
Pray and be focused...be watchful and submissive too,just be the right and ideal woman because the truth is,saying such doesn't mean he can or cannot hit you,likewise,if u start with another man and he didn't touch or hit u during courtship,it doesn't mean he would never hit u wen married,pray for the right man and focus your strength on the positivities...dear,just pray to God for directions and don't be a lady that will do anything to warrant been physically abused by any man...play your part well and pray to God to guide u! All the best. Tee!
Marry him first and come back to tell us your experience Mumu. If he's not comfortable, you won't think twice. mtcheeewwww
Girl,guess u should watch it urself,what do u do/say to make him say all these,may be in some cases,u are just difficult to controle and that's theonly way to shut u up,I don't support violence or man hitting a woman,but hey,u should slow down,watch things u say and choose new words,since he hasn't hit u,then he loves but finds it difficult to stop u coz u also don't know when to stop or shut up.
U want my opinion then pls D0 N0T MARRY THIS MAN. What man uses wrds like that. My friends dad never hit her mum till he married her n knew she wasn't going nowher. Sme men are like that they plan n wait. A guy 1nce said 2 me All this shakara u doin 4 me n dealing with me. After ur in lve with me Ill deal with u. He said it as a joke bt I luked at his eyes n I knew..Thnk God I wasn't in love yet so I dumped him asap. 4 me if u aint sayin 'Imma smack ur ass' in that sexy way that I cnt wait 2 get with u then sry its a no no 4 me. But then again this is jst my opinion I culd b wrng---C21
Run babe!Run
Betsytohbadt
Run babe!Run
Betsytohbadt
No one can answer dat questn for u my dear felow LIBer... Cus humans ar d most unpredictable species. We may say he's gona act dem out somday nd den doesnt. U can on d oda hand get maried to som1 who has neva thretend to smack u nd den starts it wen u get married. May God help u thru sis
Run babe!Run
Betsytohbadt
Run babe!Run
Betsytohbadt
Also,check yourself what are the things u r doing that always frustrated him?am saying this because women can frustrate their men,therefore u need to adjust also....back to ur question i will say follow your instinct
He will beat u one day!! Fleeeeeeeeee as far as ur legs will tke uu
LEAVE HIM MY DEAR..UR FRIEND IS RIGHT MEN CHANGE AND BECOME WORSE WHEN U GET MARRIED...WITH THE PRESSURES OF MARRIAGE AND JUGGLING KIDS...HE WILL SURELY LAY HIS HANDS ON U...RUN WHILE YOU STILL CAN...DONT TAKE A GAMBLE ON UR LIFE..LIFE IS TOO PRECIOUS...
Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks, moreover, in the space of two years how many times do he say the words I love you and am happy to be with you.
In my opinion, if you marry him, you have given him the certificate of marriage to abuse you. RUN.
Just ask for God option first
Babes, eti e melo (how many ears you have)??? RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! That dude will definitely punch/kick/slap you some day...
This is a wrong forum to seek for advice, better ppl no de here
He will not but try not to provoke him
Run for ur life dear, cos he will surly giv u d beatin of ur life sonnest. My hubby did same last dec cos I foundout he was cheatin on me and dis was dsame person dat said he wuld nver hit a woman. Till date I still regret getin married to a beast.
Since he's already saying n threatening to do it den my dear one day he will surely do it. So it's left for u to be hiis slave and dnt do anytin dat will piss him off or better still walk away if u knw u d stubborn type. An abusive marriage or relationship is a NO NO for me.
Love is Temperance......With Prayer and wisdom....I am sure He will not do it.
Love is Temperance......With Prayer and wisdom....I am sure He will not do it.
Nah, i blieve he's alwys threatnin u jst bcoz he doesnt wnt u 2 do things he doesnt like. So dont mak him get upset..
Why do you want to marry him?
Don;t be foolish, you better run now! He is waiting to put the ring on your finger before he shows you his real self. Watch out, dont be deceived!!!
YES HE WILL... Like i always say, love n respect go hand in hand...any other thing is a fake....he may love u more compared to other chics in his life but girl, this your guy no get respect for you ( and women in general if i must say).
we women cud b annoying some times but there are ways a real man sud address it not d "i will beat u threats"...make e grow up jare!; and you too give him some respect, stop bruising his ego (if that is the case here tho).
B.
The Bible says that out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. He is a violent person and he will start beating you when you marry him. Please don't be a victim of domestic violence and divorce. Run now because you can.
Pls don't!! One day he will give life to his words. These are warning signs, a man should never talk to a woman that way. You deserve better, you are valuable, God loves you beyond words and would never treat you that way, so why accept it from a mere man? Don't marry him, God will bring His perfect plan for you. That man needs work, he doesn't know what true love is, pls leave him before you fall a victim.
U can tolerate it,as long as u've stayed wit him for 2yrs now........for me i will tell u to go ahead cos am a victim too.
Am very sure he will rili gv u d dirty slap 1 day, if I were u I won't walk into a trap masef
it's easier said dan done. If u love dan marry him.
He has already given you enough pointers...so when he starts to hit you don't complain....you better address it now before he turns to husband and u turn to punching bag.....
Why threaten in d first place? As in? ....
God help you..
Um of course....r u kidding me? Run girl far far away.....
Just one advice to all ladies, including the poster, please if you are dating a guy that's hot tempered, please you need to end that relationship, you don't wait for a volcano to erupt before you start running, because every volcano is dangerous, and no matter how long it remains dormant, it will surely erupt some day
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The only way to find out is marry him first to find out!
he most definitely is a violent person.The bible says out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks i don't know whats wrong with u women how many times will they tell u the same thing until he takes u to the land of no return with his fists then u will know. Pls don't marry him.
Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks...mark my word, he is going to hit you soon.
Hit my name to Read on What is love language and what has it got to do with a successful relationship and marriage?
He has not hit you yet because he has not married you. He WILL hit you once you guys marry.
My sister's husband was like that. They dated for 3 years but he never hit her, only threats.
5 months after they married, he slapped her. She made a big fuss out of it and family settled the matter. Now, even family is tired of getting involved because the beatings are nearly daily.
My dear poster he will so turn u 2a slapping n punching bag after he marries u cos then he'll feel he has gotten u n u can't go anywhr(typical naija man mentality)!
Its possible he will neva hit u. its all under probability. its ur choice.
DO NOT MARRY HIM.
RUN FOR YOUR LIFE. A THREAT WOULD LEAD TO ACTION SOME DAY.
Marry am na, abeg quickly too. Stupid question. Do you think abuse is only physical? Silly thing like you. All these new born babies talking about marriage like its a walk in the park, you wan turn yaself to correctional institute? Na you were no get degree for psychology and human behavior wan come cure an abusive person. Ladies bikonu, domestic violence is not only when a guy lays his hands on you. Its also when he uses words to intimidate you, belittle you. When he his being mentally, emotionally and then physically abusive. The first two, you don't see the scars but they show themselves in your behavior, how you feel about yourself, your self esteem. He will beat you down mentally until you begin to accept that you are nothing and without him, you remain nothing. Biko, if a guy threatens you with words, take ya slippers and run because one day go be one day, wey him go wan test out that theory wey him dey talk about since. Na your face and stomach he go begin from. Child, make I no hear say you dey write Linda Ikeji say, remember me?, now the guy is beating me, what should I do. I swear I go enter this computer bitch slap you worst than he did, you hear me so.
Just do it
Whom would you rather have? A man who doesnt threaten you but goes ahead to pounce on you at the slightest provocation, or a man who utters perpetual threats but would never muster the courage to hit you? Have you ever heard the saying about empty drums making the loudest noise? I hardly think this man will hit you. If you like him, its up to you. Cheers!
Dear Linda. Should I sacrifice my freedom for a short life of fear and misery?? Silly woman asking dumb questions
My darling, YES HE WILL!!!!!! Plz move on. God is revealing it to you now. U don't need a prophet or pastor or prayer or fasting or wateva! You have been put on notice!
DON'T MARRY HIM OOOOOOOOOO!!!
ANY WEAKNESS YOU SEE IN A MAN OR WOMAN BEFORE MARRIAGE HAS A 90% PROBABILITY OF BEING HEIGHTENED IN MARRIAGE.
FLEEEEEEEEE!!!
HE WILL NOT ONLY HIT YOU, HE WILL FLOG YOU!
BELIEVE ME
He is waiting for you to become his wife and then he will give you a sound thrashing......
I would run a mile.
Nwanne!!! The truth is that all these threats are merely a prelude to what is to come. He just dey wait make you officially become im property then he go begin practicalize the threats... you better run for your life!!!
Sister na ur choice..
Very difficult question to answer.......now tell him dt u'll only marry him if he doesn't or never meant any of those threats, buh hey make sure he loves u and cnt live witout u, den if he promises.. Tell him u'll leave him d day he'll ly hands on u and pls hold ur mouth cus I know how we women run our mouth cus d prob might be evn be ur running mouth. #word!
He will eventually hit you dear. When people say things for a period of time, it eventually becomes a reality. So, it's only a matter of when!
Marry him,if d love is dey.if he dose nt hit u after two yrs dan he wil nt...
He will beat you once he marries you and would claim he has been warning you! He his just waiting for when he thinks he has the upper hand!He has been warning you subconsciously and you are been warned now! And by the way threatening violence in itself is a form of abuse and violence.
Its like owning a dog (it stays outside in the compound),its aggressive towards you by barking at you a lot and you begin to wonder if it will one day bite you and then you are considering bringing it indoors thinking maybe if you bring it indoors it will stop! Babe it will bite you most definately!!
he soon may do just that, deary..
Yes he will.
Trust me, he won't touch u. people that talk like that dont really act it.
Trust me, he won't touch u. people that talk like that dont really act it.
Trust me, he won't touch u. people that talk like that dont really act it.
This is not rocket science, he has threatened to beat and smack you, on numerous occasions, but he hasn't actually done it!!! And you want to know if it is okay to marry him, like play like play, once you get married, all the threats he has made against you, would become a reality!!! Marriage is not a do or die institution o, You better end the relationship as soon as possible!!! Just because you want to be become "Mrs" by fire by force, you you are willing to endure a marriage, that would be built on the foundation of threats and domestic violence, for 2 years you have seen the signs, you better run and don't look back, bloody idiot!!!whizman
Yes pls marry him and one day very soon you wil be slapt
Seriously???? Reader, You must be one dumb ass to ask such a silly question. In fact go ahead and marry him. If you are waiting for someone to tell you to run I'm sorry for you. But for real, why would you even still be in a relationship with this 'person'?
This is really a decision you've got to make ursef, as no Liber will be there with you in the journey of marriage, although he's likely not to lift a finger becos even some guys that don't even threaten you during the courtship still beats up their women in marriage, talk it out with him, pray and follow your heart, it is well.
Personally i dont think he will hit u< as men we always take some measures<, some women if given a chance to rant will make it a habit< go ahead girl n marry him<
Danny from Abuja<
My dear dnt be a fool just leave now,the earlier the better.a broken rship is way better than a broken marriage.be wise!!!
Men are always in their best behaviours with ladies prior to marrying them. If his is to regularly threaten to smack you then I bet he'll take it futher when you eventually marry him.......I may be wrong! But if you really love and wanna give him a chance, then you can go ahead and stop giving him nonsense, cos e be like say you sef get your own wahala.
~~Success Has No Limitation~~
Personally i dont think he will hit u<, real men at times take precautionary measures bcos some women if given a chances to rants will make it a habit< Go ahead and marry him dear<
Hmmm, just pray he doesn't start acting when u guys are already married.....if u really love him, go 4 it!
Hmmm, just pray oo!
He will surely hit you after marriage if he always threaten it. But I understand the difficulties of finding a spouse let alone forfeiting one over threats so I feel whatever we say here you will still marry him. Pray he gets less irritated. But if you can, tell him the only hindrance you have are his threats and you want to hold off a bit and see if he improves and see how he reacts. If he loves you, he will promise never to beat you. Or to stop the beating threats.
You mean you are asking such a question in this economy that husband is scarce? Don't you realise that you are nothing without a man, especially if it's a mad man? Plan the wedding, quickly. Order your aso-ebi. Make sure you sign contract with your aso-ebi girls, to enlist them as 'prayer warriors' for when the man starts to pummel you after the wedding. They (the aso-ebi girls) cannot come and wear aso-ebi for nothing. They must earn their slot, in advance. Afterall, "marriage is for better, for worse" and when you enter (even with a violent man who has been warning you of his own character), you must stay there. You know, bearing Mrs is the ultimate in this life.
You must have been under a rock on a remote island for the past three years. That is why you didn't hear about Titi Arowolo. Oh sorry, your 'god is a big god, who will not allow such a thing happen to you'. Especially as you're trying to prove that he forgot to give you brain when he created you.
#SomeFemalesCauseTheirOwnIssues
Hmm honestly I wouldn't trust a man that threaten to beat a women like that constantly and I doubt if u should cuz truth be told men change and especially when he finally believes that he now owns you like u are now his wife and u are going no where because u guys are married. Am not one to make any decision for any one or to judge any one buh u should ask urself one question“ are u ready to tolerate the beating when it starts”. Because marriage is forever or worst and beating is worst that anything. Soooooo think...........
am going through same please i need advise
Run for the hills!!! When you two get married he will most likely start beating you. How can a man that claims he "loves" you speak to you in such a way?! And he has been threatening/scolding you for 2 years??!! Please leave this man alone.
I bet you, one day he will hit you. Imelda.
Madam marry him,he won't hit U. If he will hit U,he would have done dat lng ago witout telling U.
Pls dnt. He wil change afta u guys get married. Most guys change afta getin wat dey nid.he might swear and do everytin now but I assure u he wil change.
That's how it starts, he will first threaten you, then one day he will slap you and from slap to beat and maybe shoot you dead! Run as far as your legs can carry you!
TOoh! Some mehn can be like that sha! I suppose those words or threat are jez to correct you...Since you say mehn change after marriage....Then you should be optimistic....What if you date a man who doesn't make violence threat to you during your courtship and he later turns how to be a "wife BEATER"....Well if you are still not convince with his words and promise then free him.
Yes he will change. Change to actually hitting you when you get married! Go with your guts and dump him!
Pumpkin
Personally i dont think he will hit u< he only tries to be the Man THAT HE IS< U know some ladies if given opportunity to rants may turn it into harbit< go ahead and marry him dear<
And madam....you also need to check your ways.....are you of Good behavior? Cuz ladies sometimes push mehn to the wall.
Go n meet a marriage councelor pls,dnt get it 4rm here.....
I bet you, one day he will hit you. Imelda.
B4 nko u no know? Ar u a learner? Listen to that ur friend now to avoid had I know. Good luck with your decision though.
He will hit you tire after the marriage if you still go ahead with it.By then,it
might be too late.Let those who have eyes see.My two cents.
my dear nobody can give you better advise than yourself. you've been with this guy for this long you alone knows how nice, sassy, polite brutal he has treated you. kindly check all the good times you've had and see if it outweighs the bad ones he ever did and take positive dicision. some people say what they can never do.
RUN FOR YOU LIFE, HE WILL NOT ONLY BEAT U BUT KILL U ONE DAY!
This and many more are sure signs of a would-be-abusive-spouse...please don't accept that proposal or you might end up regretting at the long run!
My dear, don't listen to what people will say. Pray nd ask of God's intervention nd bear dis in mind nobody is perfect. He might not do such after marrying you. Just seek for God's intervention in ur marriage else it won't go far even if it's an angel dat is marrying u
Yes he will act out his threat. The guy will beat shit out of you after marriage , you better run now, it will be more difficult after marriage and kids.
there is nothing wrong with the guy, am also like that have never torch my wife before not even a lit slap, for over 6yrs now everyday i we tell her i we slap u i we slap u. so baby go ahead but have this in mind people are not d-same. best regards.
Girl run run run away!
How do u live with sum1 without gettin dem angry ever?think properly b4 dishin out advice
100 likes !
Lol, I'm so tired of answering silly questions. You will know the answer and yet stay asking!
Dear sister, put him in care of God. He might be one of those people that have mouth and never act what they say. But you may need to observe him more critically. He might be a very nice and cool person. Like me, I get mouth die, but I can not act all what I'm saying. thing like, "If I come down from this car, you are in trouble; if I handled you,.... etc. But the fact is that I can't hurt anybody. Study him and commit him in the hands of God. Enjoy your relationship
He will most def smack you.
U carry ur own life matter come WPC HQ (world peoples congress headquarters) for free advice, u no know any church wey dey do marriage counselling?...winsh
The thing is, u are in the right position to kno maybe or not he can do it. I cant advice u on vague comment u made on him, we don't even kno what u did that warrant those threatening
Dear there, if there are 50 guys in d world and 50 ladies in the world, maybe 25 guys would never really hit a lady, but the other 25 would, the point is every lady want to have the best guy who would love, respect and never hit them; now my question is do we abandon the other 25 and go fighting over the best 25 who would never hit a lady? (the cause for polygamy) which is a great sin before our creator. How well, girl have u tried being the best girl and see if u can keep this guy the best which he has always been since he has never hit u since the past 2 years? my point is this, u will be addressed the way u are dressed; what am saying is, carry urself with dignity and behave matured and u will have u man's respect all ur life. provided he is not a drunk, only those do things without knowing it. pls dont follow those rash advice. follow ur heart.
@
jessyangels4love@yahoo.com
Dear there, if there are 50 guys in d world and 50 ladies in the world, maybe 25 guys would never really hit a lady, but the other 25 would, the point is every lady want to have the best guy who would love, respect and never hit them; now my question is do we abandon the other 25 and go fighting over the best 25 who would never hit a lady? (the cause for polygamy) which is a great sin before our creator. How well, girl have u tried being the best girl and see if u can keep this guy the best which he has always been since he has never hit u since the past 2 years? my point is this, u will be addressed the way u are dressed; what am saying is, carry urself with dignity and behave matured and u will have u man's respect all ur life. provided he is not a drunk, only those do things without knowing it. pls dont follow those rash advice. follow ur heart.
@
jessyangels4love@yahoo.com
I PITY YOU...THAT IS ALL I HAVE TO TELL YOU!I guess you are not watching the news or reading the papers and havent heard about akolade arowolo and oscar pistorius... if you want candid advice email yosore06@gmail.com
Dear there, if there are 50 guys in d world and 50 ladies in the world, maybe 25 guys would never really hit a lady, but the other 25 would, the point is every lady want to have the best guy who would love, respect and never hit them; now my question is do we abandon the other 25 and go fighting over the best 25 who would never hit a lady? (the cause for polygamy) which is a great sin before our creator. How well, girl have u tried being the best girl and see if u can keep this guy the best which he has always been since he has never hit u since the past 2 years? my point is this, u will be addressed the way u are dressed; what am saying is, carry urself with dignity and behave matured and u will have u man's respect all ur life. provided he is not a drunk, only those do things without knowing it. pls dont follow those rash advice. follow ur heart.
@
jessyangels4love@yahoo.com
You are going through what is called verbal abuse (violence). How do you feel when you hear such words coming out of your boyfriend's mouth? Happy? Definitely not. He's already abusing you, he'll only take it up a notch, when you are married. Run now, that you still can. It's better to be unmarried, until somebody that respects you come over. Does he or will he threaten his female boss/colleagues. He's a beast that MUST show HIMSELF as the BOSS. He's not worth your life.
You had better run for dear life now before your death makes headlines...
You are going through what is called verbal abuse (violence). How do you feel when you hear such words coming out of your boyfriend's mouth? Happy? Definitely not. He's already abusing you, he'll only take it up a notch, when you are married. Run now, that you still can. It's better to be unmarried, until somebody that respects you come over. Does he or will he threaten his female boss/colleagues. He's a beast that MUST show HIMSELF as the BOSS. He's not worth your life.
U better FLEE...he is threatening cos he wishes he can start the slapping and punching now but he knowz that u will never wana marry him so he is obviously waiting for the right time and thatz after u both get married to eachother...
Well,as for me marriage will never be a trap bcos its not a do or die affair...once a man lays his hands on me,I will WALK AWAY and file for a divorce straight up!!!...becos he will NEVER stop!!
This is the rest of your life you're talking about here. There are better ways of handling issues you have than telling you he will beat you.. If you marry this man or not it's your choice but my dear no reasonable man should speak to a lady like that no matter how hot tempered he is. And as far as i'm concerned those threats are not empty threats at alllllllllll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The guy is a straight forward fellow,he's telling u his mind bt unfortunately most of u babes love gies who pretend to be soft&tender bt@ d end wl blow u any hw lk d BOKO&dump u.Marry him&learn to avoid things he doesn't like.
¤¤¤¤GOD punish devil¤¤¤
You know when people say she must have known she must have seen sings, these are the signs. Please font marry him. Listen to the voice of reasoning. This happened to me too. After we got married he got more daring and bold. His threats turned to small shoving and one day he beat me up. It took me three years to leave and 2 miscarriages. I thank God I had no kids with him.
Na true yarn oooooo....none of em
He's been threatening you for almost two years, yet you stood by him, which shows you are in love with him. If you can't stand who he is , you should have called a spade a spade and let him be. sticking with him for 2 years on means you'll accept him for him. He's never hit you once so your attitude is uncalled for. you should have left him long ago if you truly know it's beyond you.
Una story go be like Oscar Pictorious and Reeva own if u proceed.
Heed the voice of reason.. RUN! My ex always used to form that kind threat and then claim he was joking. 6 years down the line he tried to strangle me and then claimed he was joking (JOKER) well I tried to believe it; then in the 7th year after acting up big time, he said he had to be honest with me, that he thinks he can hit a woman. At least he was honest. Me a ran oh! It hurt badly, but men heart ache or body ache I chose the former. Sweetie please STEP..
My Dear you better run,surely one day he will carry out his threats on you so bad.
But what is it that you do that makes him threaten? Because Duncan Mighty said "before you separate fight make you first of all separate quarrel". Seat back and ask yourself the question...WORLUTING
Na wa for you o. Misery loves company.
my dear if u rilly love him go ahead with the marriage but give him some conditions that anytime he slap u or beat u that is the end of the marriage, and u avoid making him to bring out the animal in him becos we women e dey our body.
From Blessing. I enjoy u LIB readers. So funny. The person that said "seek advice somewhere else no good person here" that means u are bad too. Anyways, my dear, ask for divine direction
Pls dear, don't marry him. I'm a victim pls once you marry him, u will see his true colour. Pray very well and be convinced b4 saying I do.
Lmao!!! I just had to laugh at that comment. Kinda true, though not 100%
My dear,Love is kind,any man dat talks 2 u dis way doesn't love u enough to tell u kind words......he'll beat u mercilessly soon.......even u won't believe it.....leave him now that U can.
Yes his threats are not too good for a would be hubby, but what about those dat don't say it but will perfect it. Just talk to ur God if u re convinced marry him, dose saying run, run to where is it not men of these days?? God only will help us women even with d one dat threaten n d one dat did not. Gbam!!!
Why would a man talk to his lady that way first of all? Please ladies, allow these men with tempers to go and either control their tempers or jam women that will give them fire for fire. Are you not an adult, why would a fellow adult speak to you in such a horrible way and you sit there talking about we are dating. Unfortunately, this lady will heed the advice of the person that will say don't provoke him and he will not carry out his threats. No man worth his salt should speak to another person like this, talk more of a person he says he loves.
I would not encourage my sister to move forward with such a man. He does not respect you in anyway and he will have no problems hitting you, punching you or whatever. He does not plan to hit you he says...he just tells you he will. The choice is yours. Either go and let a man that has some sense locate you or you can settle for this brute in waiting.
The question here is not about the man.please what are those things you do that warrant such threat.sincerely you really need to look inward to see if you have repulsive attitude and ask God to change you.Then you will see a dramatic change in your fiancée.Remember it takes two to tango
Well the way he speaks shows he might have hot temper funny he might not, infact just dont know wat to advise, some will say test him now make him very angry but men dat can also lead to another gobe, babe follow ur heart
My dear,do u know d difference between complete and finished? D difference is that when u marry d ryt person,u are complete. But see ehn...when u marry d wrong person,u are finished! Shine ur eye ooo,but pls don't fail to consult wit our oga at d top. All d best.
I have a question for Naija males on here. Where do you come off thinking because you married someone, they should curb their behavior so as not to "provoke" you? What in the name of God is wrong with you and where did we as mothers go wrong?
A grown adult woman should marry you and be walking on egg shells to avoid your wrath? And yet you all are one of the most irresponsible set of husbands with your philandering ways and inability to take care of the home front without complaining on Nairaland and LIB at every given chance. Do you know that if you respect a woman, you will get way more than what you keep trying to force down these poor girls throats?
As for you women, see someone saying give him to God. This is her boyfriend o, she has seen signs of doom and you are asking her to pray. Pray that what again...Lord please let him not really punch me. Sometimes I believe the treatment you receive from these men serves you right. Once again, I turn back to our parents...please raise these men with a sense of self and raise these women with sense.
@Aby, are you so desperate...she should marry him and manage. O God help me, LIB what kind of readers do you have?
@Hilary, do you speak to your bosses that way? Do you think it is right to speak to a fellow adult in such a demeaning way? Why do our men have a lack of decorum when it comes to their girlfriends and wives. We are married, not in a slave master relationship. Naija men should learn to be respectful to women please. What is if I punch you? Is he a child? Only children speak in such tones. As you all say...tufia!
Hmm. Nana, I completely get. U. My husband used to hit me even wen we were dating. Till I stood up for myself & even reported him to my parents. So this is your best opportunity to set it straight, that u detest been beaten. The kingdom of heaven suffereth violence and the violent take it by force.
A man controls his temper NO MATTER WHAT. All of you saying, what did you say to frustrate him are not men...I am so sorry. LIB I follow your blog, I am a lover of some things Nigerian but some of your men...o my God! It is a shame what your women go through in the name of marriage. It is really sad. I know you all have some good ones out there and I say a big kudos to them. But it seems most are disrespectful babies that can't control their tempers. So sad. So sad. The rumors going around about nigerian men is very true. I hope your women demand more because I have met some strong women from Nigeria and I can't believe this is what they have to come home to.
Psycho
Some women deserve what they get, before u misbehave thnk of d repercussion. QED
Are you for real?
My dear, you mean you are asking such a question in this economy that husband is scarce? Don't you realise that you are nothing without a man, especially if it's a mad man? Plan the wedding, quickly. Hunt for wedding venues. Make appointment with caterers. Order your aso-ebi. Make sure you sign contract with your aso-ebi girls, to enlist them as 'prayer warriors' for when the man starts to pummel you after the wedding. They (the aso-ebi girls) cannot come and wear aso-ebi for nothing. They must earn their slot, in advance. Afterall, "marriage is for better, for worse" and when you enter (even with a violent man who has been warning you of his own character), you must stay there. You know, bearing Mrs is the ultimate in this life.
You must have been under a rock on a remote island for the past three years. That is why you didn't hear about Titi Arowolo. Oh sorry, your 'god is a big god, who will not allow such a thing happen to you'. Especially as you're trying to prove that he forgot to give you brain when he created you.
Like seriously???
Lol,trust me babe...if a guy is a hitter, he won't evn talk abt it.d hot slap will send d mssg...mayb u r stubborn n he's jus tryna scare u to get some respect frm u
Its not advicable for u to enter such a marriage cos he will carry out his threat one day.
Pick race,don't marry him
Tonto Dike in Anoda seks for Money scandal
All na wash! Rong advierz. Wil u use cos of dat n leav d guy u luvs so much, ur own na play beter wise up n settle dwn. So we d single wil see d avilable ones to settle too. If dat is d only pblm den u learn to remain mute whn he is takin cos you re a woman n woman is made to be sumestive to his hsbnd. #cynthia luv ur advice on dz topic# better pikn!
1st, it sounds like you could be annoying, confrontational, aggravating, someone who likes to start/cause arguments etc (not judging you or anything like that). I think he'll definitely hit you if you guys get married; he might not plan to but he most likely will. After 2yrs, imagine a huge bucket being filled with a cup of water every time you annoyed him throughout those 2yrs. By now, that bucket would be almost full - imagine that to be his tolerance and anger control. He probably hasn't hit you yet because maybe 1. He just doesn't see himself as a woman beater, 2. You're not yet attached to him and you could leave him if he did, 3. He actually loves you or like you more than any other female he's known etc. But the fact he threatens you when ever he's not happy with you means that to some level or degree, he sees violence as an option at some point in time (consciously or sub-consciously for him). If you marry him, 1st his patience/tolerance is probably thin by now; the smallest form of annoyance can set him off; now add the fact that you'll now be all his, you have nowhere to go with more chances of annoying him more frequently. My dear, his first eruption would be very drastic because for his self control and all the anger he's been suppressing all these years will come to a head at once. And if you survive that, it'll only continue. The slightest glitch would trigger a violent reaction, even when you're not being annoying or aggravating. Lord help you. I think you should go your way and try to adjust your attitude towards guys in the future and he needs to start with someone else who he doesn't have any pent up, underlying anger towards.
My dear, it will only get worse,
My dear,it will only get worse
@Chioma Nnani, are you seriously kidding me?!?!
Is that your honest hand on heart advise?!
SHAME ON YOU!!
How dare you tell a woman to walk in a marriage with Godzilla in the making?!
If husband is scarce to you, then go and marry him. Lets see if you will give the same advice when they have pounded your silly tiny peanut brain
Sometimes women are like children, stubborn and misconceiving. If you behave well, he wont hit you but if you misbehave, he will definitely hit one one day. The choice is yours.
Will you behave well?
Some stupid retarded goats b comentin and sendin abuses. If you knw your cerebrum is so empty and cant bring forth good words, you had b quiet. Rubbish....My dear, I bet it he wii neva touch you, cos if rilli he wanted 2, he wuda don dat a looong tyme ago.
No disrespect,u kinda lacks self esteem/confidence...why settle for less?i"ll advice u run...
It's 'thought' not ' tot'. Otondo
u better run 4 ur life now that u still v a choice. they v said it all
u better run 4 ur life now that u still v a choice. they v said it all
Madam, i'm a living witness to the fact that verbal abuse actually leads to the real deal. Was in a relationship and a situation led to it. I paused and what confirmed my fears was that he was violent to his siblings as well. Ended the relationship. Later confirmed he was actually known to be violent.
I beg you by the mercies of God to run for your dear life. He will surely carry out his threat.
AHHHHH mo gbe! sa re lo kia kia. wo o maa no e very soon just wait.ypu better pack your bags and run before its all over. dont cry dont beg because it will be all over!
The only change that will happen is that he will hit you. If a guy threatens you once start looking for a way out.
Very true.
What kinda advice is this.So instead of praying 4 better things like orphans n long life. It'll b 2 pray that 1 irrespnsible man who tinks its his right 2 beat women nt 2 beat u. Is that the wrk shld do her entire life? Abeg leave him n save urslf the stress..mtcheew
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