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Friday 15 August 2014

Dear LIB readers: Should I accept his proposal?

From a female LIB readers
I met this guy in June this year, never knew his genotype until last week when he proposed to me. He opened up to me that he is SS. I am so confused, don't know if I should accept his proposal or not. I love him so much but I'm scared because of the crisis, although he told me the crisis comes once in two years. Most people advised that I should not accept his proposal because it's risky. I'm AA. Please I need urgent advice because he wants to wed me by November. Thanks, as I await your honest advice...

346 comments:

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Anonymous said...

I don't think we are entitled to tell you if you have to accept his proposal or not. It is your own decision. But, if you love him, you need to be prepared for everything. I got married at 23 to a SS, he was 30 years old. Four years later he died, leaving me with a son. I loved him so much and his death appeared to me suddenly because he only had two crisis during our 3-year-marriage, the second crisis was fatal. I am 29 now and widow. Violetta

Anonymous said...

Hi, I'd say marry him if you love him...but it has to be if you love him...not for other reasons eg. societal/family pressure to be married. What are your fears exactly? that he may die? or that he will be ill a lot? here's my husband's perspective: "anyone can fall ill and die at anytime irrespective of genotype" think about it, that's a fact. What's he like really? if you are not seeing him through is genotype? loving? fighter? dependable? tough lover? the through good abd bad kind? those are the questions that matter since you are genotype AA.

I'm SS myself and i'm married with a child. Everyone deserves to love and be loved. Interesetingly, being SS gives you a gift people hardly ever have: resilience... because of the intensity of the pain you have to deal with all your life. This, my dear, gives you a different perspective to life, makes you more forgiving etc...which in my opinion are important traits for a successful marriage.

Also, you should know that being SS doesn't mean you will always be ill, it just means as the spouse, you will ensure that he uses his daily drugs, drinks a lot of water et al (which i'm sure he already does seeing as he falls ill only once in a year). Times have changed, there are drugs now and treatments that manage the SS genotype and give you a good quality of life.

The only issue would have been if you were AS...Think about it dear, if you love him for the right reasons, go with it.

Anonymous said...

Don't dare, cus wen u're in dere's no goin back.

KMG said...

being an SS is not as crazy as it used to be....it can be managed well these days, and your children wont be at a risk since you are AA, if you love him and you are ready to walk the long journey with patience den go ahead... buh truth be told.... a guy holds out'on u with such 'Interesting Information' that is sneaky... i wont marry such a man.

KMG said...

being an SS is not as crazy as it used to be....it can be managed well these days, and your children wont be at a risk since you are AA, if you love him and you are ready to walk the long journey with patience den go ahead... buh truth be told.... a guy holds out'on u with such 'Interesting Information' that is sneaky... i wont marry such a man.

KMG said...

being an SS is not as crazy as it used to be....it can be managed well these days, and your children wont be at a risk since you are AA, if you love him and you are ready to walk the long journey with patience den go ahead... buh truth be told.... a guy holds out'on u with such 'Interesting Information' that is sneaky... i wont marry such a man.

KMG said...

being an SS is not as crazy as it used to be....it can be managed well these days, and your children wont be at a risk since you are AA, if you love him and you are ready to walk the long journey with patience den go ahead... buh truth be told.... a guy holds out'on u with such 'Interesting Information' that is sneaky... i wont marry such a man.

KMG said...

being an SS is not as crazy as it used to be....it can be managed well these days, and your children wont be at a risk since you are AA, if you love him and you are ready to walk the long journey with patience den go ahead... buh truth be told.... a guy holds out'on u with such 'Interesting Information' that is sneaky... i wont marry such a man.

Adeife said...

Hmmm......i wonder who will marry SS genotype if those that are AA are avoiding them. I lost my relationship of over a year bcos we are both AS, i'm yet to get over it and start a new relationship. No one can force u to do it just follow your heart and pray fervently about it. God is with you

Anonymous said...

Since u are AA it is a good combination pls go ahead if ur hrt permit u

Abraham Ndu said...

Don't

Anonymous said...

If u love him accept him, your children will only be a carrier but can never be a sickle. That's if you reallly know your genotype. G'ood luck.

Anonymous said...

if u love him accept his proposal. afteral its som1 dt wil marry him else leave him wit his wahala.

KMG said...

being an SS is not as crazy as it used to be....it can be managed well these days, and your children wont be at a risk since you are AA, if you love him and you are ready to walk the long journey with patience den go ahead... buh truth be told.... a guy holds out'on u with such 'Interesting Information' that is sneaky... i wont marry such a man.

Anonymous said...

yea u can marry him since u are an AA. All u av 2 do is help him manage it and always commit him 2 God 2 preserve him. Den u are good a go . All da best

Anonymous said...

being an SS is not as crazy as it used to be....it can be managed well these days, and your children wont be at a risk since you are AA, if you love him and you are ready to walk the long journey with patience den go ahead... buh truth be told.... a guy holds out'on u with such 'Interesting Information' that is sneaky... i wont marry such a man.

Larakingz said...

Would you listen to your self? You said you love him, you are AA and he is SS. what are you scared of?... what would happen is that you give birth to AS kids.. and there is nothing wrong with that. Plus, SS patients get better as the day or years go... Please marry him

Anonymous said...

there is no problem in marrying the person since you AA that's the best genotype to marry an ss genotype, but however your kids might be carries AS but if you are unlucky they might be ss but you can always go ahead if you love him

Unknown said...

since your AA,marry him.

Dhayorr said...

I really don't think he been an 'SS' should be an issue. When the patient is above 30yrs, they rarely have crisis. But to me i think u r a great compliment for him cause u r 'AA'. I think the only problem i have is u met him in June. Its barely 2months babe. You guys shld prolly date till the end of the year. #MyOpinion

By Abasifreke said...

since u r AA accept his proposal at lest the New gen. will AS

Anonymous said...

What is the big deal of been an SS,everyone got to die someday.God is the only one that signs death.Your love will keep him going until God says it is over.So please go ahead.Some people get married today and tomorrow they r gone,what then is the difference

Linda Ikeji said...

since u r AA accept his proposal at lest the New gen. will AS

Unknown said...

Take it to the Lord in prayer.if u are very sure that u can stand by him through thick and thin,then go ahead if not,back off.

Unknown said...

Since u r AA nd u love him, marry him.

Anonymous said...

There is no need to be afraid. You say you love him, have you prayed? Then have faith, listen to your heart. I am SS (female), I married AA and have two lovely healthy children. Whenever the crisis comes is when he will need you most...doesn't last long if there's someone around who loves you. The health situation can be managed...good, healthy meals, and less stress and most importantly, faith in God.

I wish you the best!

Anonymous said...

Being a sickle cell anaemia patient is not a big deal so far the sufferer knows how to take care of his/herself. There's no big deak in getting married to him. Because

1. He has come of the age wen the crisis will not be disturbing him alot and he already told u dt the crisis only comes once in two years.
2. Since you didn't know while u were dating him till he propose dt means he's been able to take good care of himself.
3. SS is like having malaria once in awhile is jst dt it takes a different form in pple with the sickle cell.
4. Your children will only be carriers and not sufferes since you are AA.

To me, I think you should go ahead with him, if you really love him and wants to be with him.

Am not pushing oh! Just saying this because I know how it is to be a sufferer and how hard it is to find a spouse.

God bless

Unknown said...

now dats None Of my biz!!!

Anonymous said...

You see women! Why the rush biko kwa nu? You met June and this is only august pls why the rush?

Anonymous said...

Young lady, u never said anything about the love u have for him and how much he loves u. I think that is a key factor here so it's hard for me to advice u without that info

Anonymous said...

Pls don't oooo I know someone like that she married him and he died just 6month after making her a widow over night

Anonymous said...

my dear u should go ahead with d mariage since u love him. Be prayerful God can change his genotype.i av heard so many testimonies abt similar cases and God did d miraculous healing.today al of dem are hapily married.

Anonymous said...

Honestly i think u can if u truly love the guy. Two of my best friends are sicklers and they are alive and well,infact they are rarely ill. The thing is once a sickler knows how to handle him/herself , most times they wont do activities that causes them crises and once they feel like they are gona have a crises (because of experience), they know what to do and how to handle themselves. So they might not even bother you with it. For example, both my myfriend will tell me i think am goin to be sick and they take the neccesary drugs or check themselves into a hospital and they dont even have the crisis that often. As long as he avoids activities that causes crises,u guys should be fine most of the time.. I' d advice u to talk to a medical professional and someone else with sickle cell to give u a better understanding . Please take ur time to understand better and decide urself.

Anonymous said...

Why the rush? Only one month of courtship? I think the question you should ask yourself is why the rush, after y'all will write to Linda that he's beating you. Babe chill, relax 'SS' is not something u should worry about, get to know him more

Freddy said...

there's nothing to be scared of..if he's made it alive till now, he has crossed the line. the critical age of the ailment is from 0-21. and you're AA so you dont have to worry about your kids being SS. hosea 4:6 says "my people perish for lack of knowledge". if you truly love him, please go ahead and marry him.

Anonymous said...

If u get married to him, you'll give birth to only AS. It's no big deal just advice ur children to get married to AA. Your boyfriend really loves u, if u don't marry him who will??? If u love him then there's no big deal. Am also SS as I'm talking to u.

Anonymous said...

What's the rush? Met in June and engaged by August to a man with baggage galore. Take your time to see if marriage is what you really want. We're not meant to marry every person we meet.

Anonymous said...

my sister please pray about it and God will give u direction. if God's hand is in the relationship HE will up hold both of u. thanks.

Anonymous said...

When someone with the SS genotype exceeds a certain age the person hardly experiences any crisis. If you were AS genotype then I'll say is risky because a child of yours will have the SS genotype. But since you are AA none of your kids will have the SS genotype i.e if you do want kids. Seriously a lot of people who are SS do get married. It's not his fault he is SS so why choose to hold it against him. So what if it were you that had the SS genotype? You wouldn't want to be proposed to or get married? Common! Another thing, you said you met the guy in June this year...and he's already talking marriage by November? that's quite fast don't you think? Forgive me if I'm wrong but at the end if the day it's your choice.

Anonymous said...

There is no need to be afraid. You say you love him, have you prayed? Then have faith, listen to your heart. I am SS (female), I married AA and have two lovely healthy children. Whenever the crisis comes is when he will need you most...doesn't last long if there's someone around who loves you. The health situation can be managed...good, healthy meals, and less stress and most importantly, faith in God.

I wish you the best!

Anonymous said...

if u truly Luv him marry him.

AA n SS is not a bad combination

Ebuka said...

O di egwu..

Anonymous said...

I'm a sickler nd I'm 20yrz old,I also fall sick once in 2yrz,as lng as he takes care of himslf,ntn will happen,sicklers get married,give birth nd ar healthy,I've seen a 60yrs old sickler dat hasn't fallen sick for more than 40yrz nw,as lng as ure AA nd u truly love him,he's financial stable nd other wise dnt listen to ppu's bad advice marry him nd be happy,if he's d man God has designed to be ur life partner ntn will happen to him

Ybette said...

You met him in june and you are supposed to wed him by nov? That must be some cool love.
what are you afraid of? If you love and know him enough, his genotype is not a problem. Once he eats healthy and take necessary precautions, you all will be fine.

Don't forget to pray too.

Chioma London said...

So far you are AA, its okay to marry & it will be wicked of you not to, because that his only chance of reproduction without problem!

UCHE 140 said...

My dear, you are AA. there is no harm there. your children would all be AS and would be safe. Your only concern should be the fact that your husband would need special care everytime cos of his health; which by now at his age should have minimized.

Anonymous said...

Yes his type of SS is the mild one.they hardly get crises and if they don't tell you then you may never know.He is blessed.i know some1 who has that type of sickle cell and he is mostly fine..but my dear,the matter of love and decision is not what you ask people for advise for,you must want to do it for yourself and for love sake.if you don't love him enough,then you won't be able to support him when he needs you,so please quit asking for advise.you need to want to do it...it must be your decision and your decision alone.you are the one going to live with him and not us...Ask God instead for his will concerning it..

Bianca Bruno said...

If you are above 30 years then accept. After all you are AA.

Unknown said...

If you truly love this guy as you said and he loves you back, I see no reason why you should not accept his proposal. Love is all about sacrifice and giving you know. Besides, people who are of other genotype do fall ill too. What happens when you marry a guy who has an AA genotype and he later has cancer, will you not care for him. Just pray and make sure you heard from God and forget about the rest. God knows how to take care of His own. I wish you all the best.

Anonymous said...

My dear, I will advice that you accept it, since you are AA.

We all need some loving irrespective of our health conditions,
it is a 50/50 risk tho, but I know a sickler who is an adult and bubbling, although you have to catch your breath when his crisis comes, cos you will think he is dying.

You will have to make sure he takes his medicines as prescribed, you will need to be a mom and a wife at the same time.
You have to be gentle, caring TOLERANT, and above all prayerful. ...

but if you know you aren't patient and tolerant, my dear forget it cos sicklers can be a handful & I'm writing from experience. It will take a very patient, tolerant and prayerful person to handle one. I wish you good luck

<< LIB Addict >>

Anonymous said...

its not risky you dummy!!! your kids will just have to be cautious about who they marry. jeez!!!!

Anonymous said...

hi, i do not see anything wrong with getting married to someone thats SS.provided you are AA. trust me none of the people that are SS by genotype chose to have that genotype, sometimes you have no choice with what life gives you. if you love him like you claim, i do not think that should matter. plus he said he has it just once in 2 years..you can even help him prevent the crisis by avoiding him getting stressed and its not going to be as bad since hes all grown up. goodluck

Anonymous said...

why d rush? U jst met and he's planning marriage already. giv room 4 courtship and am sure during courtship u ll notice a lot of things by then u ll av an answer to ur question.

Unknown said...

If you love him go ahead! Thank God you are AA so there won't be the risk of having SS child! True love conquers everything

Anonymous said...

My dear if u love him as u said,u hav to say yes n believe in God.I hav seen SS turn AS n AA spiritual intervention.

Anonymous said...

Why shouldn't you? Sickle Cell Disease carriers now live long and healthy lives as there has been vast advancement in medical treatment available to them. Since you are AA, there is no risk of having a child with SS. If you love this guy, you should not abandon him because he is SS. It is not AIDS or a veneral disease, he did not bring it upon himself - he was born with it. I wish you a happy married life in advance. God bless you.

Anonymous said...

You know what to do. The only thing is that most times we fail to listen to our consciences.Do you not want to have rest of mind in your marriage? Do you want the children to suffer? Please don't give it a second thought, decline his proposal. This will help both of you. Thank you.

Unknown said...

If you know that this guy is right for you, you've heard from God, you truly love him and he loves you back, then I see no reason why you should not accept his proposal. Love is all about sacrifice and giving you know. Besides, people who are not of SS genotype fall ill too. What happens when you get married to a guy who has AA genotype and he later has cancer? Will you not care for him? Just pray and make sure you heard from God, then forget the rest for God knows how to take care of His own. I wish you all the best.

Anonymous said...

If you know that this guy is right for you, you've heard from God, you truly love him and he loves you back, then I see no reason why you should not accept his proposal. Love is all about sacrifice and giving you know. Besides, people who are not of SS genotype fall ill too. What happens when you get married to a guy who has AA genotype and he later has cancer? Will you not care for him? Just pray and make sure you heard from God, then forget the rest for God knows how to take care of His own. I wish you all the best.

Unknown said...

If you know that this guy is right for you, you've heard from God, you truly love him and he loves you back, then I see no reason why you should not accept his proposal. Love is all about sacrifice and giving you know. Besides, people who are not of SS genotype fall ill too. What happens when you get married to a guy who has AA genotype and he later has cancer? Will you not care for him? Just pray and make sure you heard from God, then forget the rest for God knows how to take care of His own. I wish you all the best.

yemisi said...

all i can say is to stay with him...trust me, he will be the best husband u could ever have...cos the fact he opened up to u and u stayed...he will forever cherish u for the rest of his life...take heed to my advice

Unknown said...

If you know that this guy is right for you, you've heard from God, you truly love him and he loves you back, then I see no reason why you should not accept his proposal. Love is all about sacrifice and giving you know. Besides, people who are not of SS genotype fall ill too. What happens when you get married to a guy who has AA genotype and he later has cancer? Will you not care for him? Just pray and make sure you heard from God, then forget the rest for God knows how to take care of His own. I wish you all the best.

Unknown said...

If you know that this guy is right for you, you've heard from God, you truly love him and he loves you back, then I see no reason why you should not accept his proposal. Love is all about sacrifice and giving you know. Besides, people who are not of SS genotype fall ill too. What happens when you get married to a guy who has AA genotype and he later has cancer? Will you not care for him? Just pray and make sure you heard from God, then forget the rest for God knows how to take care of His own. I wish you all the best.

Nochade's Blog said...

My dear you've got nothing to worry about. He has survived it this far, he will still survive it..There is nobody that will live forever..MOst people who are not SS even fall sick more often than someone who is SS..You are AA and that solves it because someone who is SS , needs someone who is AA.. Don't worry cos ur kids will be safe... You will av AA and AS offsprings.. Go for it if you truly love him.

May said...

Hi,
I am a 32 year old married female who is also an SS patient,you wont know too if you see me.
So i will advice you to look beyond the crisis, does he have most other things you want in a a man? Most importantly is he crazy in love with you ? Also do you sincerely love him ? Marriage goes beyond little challenges you see now, when you marry, even if you dont marry him, you may face a greater challenge, at that point wont you stay with your man if you truly love him?
With your love and care he can overcome the crisis. people that are not SS patients too get sick you know? you need to change your perspective, an Ulcer patients can be worse than an SS patients.
Like i said what matters at the end is love.
If you love him enough go ahead, but please if you don't love him don't marry him. he has gone through enough challenges when growing than to add more to it in marriage.
I am lucky to be married to a man that will move the world for me and i know that love has done wonders for me health-wise.

Unknown said...

If you know that this guy is right for you, you've heard from God, you truly love him and he loves you back, then I see no reason why you should not accept his proposal. Love is all about sacrifice and giving you know. Besides, people who are not of SS genotype fall ill too. What happens when you get married to a guy who has AA genotype and he later has cancer? Will you not care for him? Just pray and make sure you heard from God, then forget the rest for God knows how to take care of His own. I wish you all the best.

Anonymous said...

Please, go ahead. I have friends that are in it and they have doing fine. God is solidly behind it.

Anonymous said...

Are u a learner?better take offff...do u wnt to become a widow early?

Anonymous said...

My dear Sister go ahead and accept his proposal or u need is to pray hard for his longlife and for God to take control of his life,has u said that u love him so much for your heart.

Anonymous said...

YOU BETTER RUN FOR YOUR LIFE

Anonymous said...

Accept.

Anonymous said...

please why the rush? you just met few months ago and you want to get married few months ahead? i think you guys need to spend way more time together..see if you love him more than you're scared of the disease, and if you can cope with it. if he's being honest, then his sickle cell is milder and this can be successfully managed with treatment and careful monitoring. on the other hand, since you are AA your children would all be AS, all of them would be healthy since the gene is recessive

RICHIE INSURED said...

SWEETHEART, DO NOT LET WORDS OF PEOPLE AFFECT YOUR DECISION. THEY WILL NOT BE THERE IF YOU DO MARRY HIM, THE IMPORTANT THING IS THAT YOU'RE HAPPY. THIS IS YOUR CROSS, YOUR ACTIONS, YOUR DEEDS COS TRUTH IS, EVEN WE LIBER'S ARE QUICK TO GIVE ADVICES WE HAVEN'T BEEN VICTIMS OF AND YOU WOULDN'T WANT TO SIT IN A CORNER BLAMING US FOR THE PROFFERED ADVICES WE GIVE / GAVE YOU EVENTUALLY. SO SWEETHEART, DO AS YOUR HEART PLEASES.

Anonymous said...

hope you realise that he could have a short life-span, and can you really live with yourself knowing fully well that you allowed your unborn children to come to this world with AS or SS blood group. I hope you also realise that the sickness costs alot of money. Have you seen him sick b4? if not, you better chill and wait to see him in that condition first b4 you rush into marriage with him. I also wonder why he wants to rush into the marriage with you......as if he is hiding something from you. i advice you to think about the whole situation very well.....put aside your feelings and think in a logical way.

Anonymous said...

You should only marry him if you will be able to support him emotionally and physically sometimes.Sickle cell is challenging enough on it,s own and he does not need the added worry of an unsupportive partner.It can be managed with drugs and necessary precautions.I advice you read more on this before deciding and don,t listen to ignorant people.Is he undeserving of love because he has sickle-cell smhh. Go to http://sicklecellwarriors.com/ tofind out more.

Concerned sickle cell warrior.

BlessingOzoemena said...

WHAT ADVICE DO YOU WANT ?

Anonymous said...

If u realy love him go ahead and marry him since u are AA.We have sponsored a wedding in which the man is SS. onyekababyface@gmail.com

Dozie said...

Love? Seriously? Can you stand having sickly kids in the future?

Anonymous said...

1st Pray. I dunno what to say to someone who's already in love but ask yourself this. What is the guarantee that if he had a genotype of AA he'll live longer or won't have health issues in the future. Think this through. Pray again, ask 4 a sign. 4 me Love wins.. True love. But if he's a cheat or a liar or beater swtie ditch him now. Dnt add SSgenotype issues 2 the list. Gdluck ----C21

Anonymous said...

Like seriously,which Secondary Sch did u attend? Whr will d SS come from? #Roselle#

Unknown said...

For you to be AA you can marry him but depends on your own decision but what matter most is love if you love him then go ahead even life is risky.

Enny said...

Libers are actually the worst people to seek advice from...Marry na like when complications arises they woukd be there to help.Firstly,why is he in a hurry to marry?You met when and he wants to marry already?Take your time...Marriage is forever.Take a while to know him and if you can manage his crisis,then commit the relationship to God,then you can take the next step.Best wishes..

lekan said...

My dear you are in a very dicey but simple situation.
are you born again? have you prayed on this matter? Are you truely in love with this guy or you are just infatuated? Go and pray very well. Allow Jesus into this matter.

Anonymous said...

Follow Your Heart (Linda's Man)

Anonymous said...

Why are you so ignorant??? She's AA so they cannot have an SS child. All their kids will be AS which is very ok!!

Enny said...

Libers are actually the worst people to seek advice from..."Marry na" like when complications arises they woukd be there to help.Firstly,why is he in a hurry to marry?You met when, and he wants to get married already?Take your time...Marriage is forever.Take a while to know him and if you can manage his crisis,then commit the relationship to God,then you can take the next step.Best wishes..

Anonymous said...

They cannot have SS kids cos she's AA! They can only have AS kids so please stop passing wrong information!!

Anonymous said...

You're daft sha. AA marries SS and there's the possibility of giving birth to SS? How?

Anonymous said...

What do you know?! AA nd SS will not produce SS.. go nd read ur biology notes again.#eyesrolling

BLESSED SISTER NOELLA said...

I AM TRULY MOVED BY THE COMPASSION LIB READERS HAVE SHOWN.. I HAVE A SISTER WHO PASSED AWAY AND HAD SS...IT IS NOT A DEATH SENTENCE..I WISH SHE WERE ALIVE TO SEE ALL THE HEARTFELT ADVICE U GUYS ARE GIVING THIS YOUNG LADY HER HEART WOULD HAVE MELTED...S...SS IS NOT AS BAD AS IT HAS BEEN MADE OUT TO BE...A LOT OF THEM LIVE LONG IF THEY TAKE THEIR VITAMINS AND AVOID EXPOSURE TO MALARIA AS MUCH AS THEY CAN...

FOLLOW UR HEART AND MARRY THIS GUY GOD WILL DEFINITELY SEE U THROUGH AND I PRAY U HAVE A LONG AND FRUITFUL MARRIAGE WITH GOOD HEALTH, CHILDREN AND ALL THE GOOD LORD HAS TO OFFER...

Unknown said...

pls, dont marry him.

Unknown said...

3 AS and 1 SS -Medically. I have seen SS changed to AA -God. Meanwhile, you need to upgrade your knowledge on the different Genotypes. And you need to calm down abt this marriage. Pray and let God direct you. LIBers can only suggest......the decision is yours.

««« THE ONE AND ONLY JOAN911 »»» said...

Did u ever ask ur self y d man didn't tell her earlier??? If it's a woman dt kept such a vital information till it was time for marriage dey would say she tricked him...

Dinma said...

All these pple saying dey will give birth to SS kids dnt knw jack abt genes. They can only have AS kids. Babe search ur heart and decide

Anonymous said...

Whr d SS wan pass take enter. Learn not to display ur ignorance in public!

Orimolade said...

Your own English just scatter my head, una no go kill person! Lmao.

Anonymous said...

You go school?

Unknown said...

D UNBORN CHILDREN WILL ALL BE AS, SO WATS D BIG DEAL???????

Unknown said...

u can get marry him since u are AA

Anonymous said...

dear libers when someone is seeking for advice make sure u are in the right frame of mind to give the advice and read clearly before making your comments. her point
1. she met this guy june of this year, that is barely 2months.
2. ss patients are not easy to manage (emotionally and financially)
3. why would he want to wed by November, whats d rush?
4. would she want to actualy go thru all these with the fear of not knowing when he will have his attack.
5. for her to even ask for your opinion she isnt overshadowed by love yet.

every decision has its consequences. young lady are you willing to go thru whatever it will bring to you.

people, stop this stupid talk of this could be her only chance of getting married.

Anonymous said...

En who said any of the kids would be SS??? Simple Biology..go bck to it youngman!

Anonymous said...

I was born SS and my husband is AA. He didnt miss a heartbeat asking me to Marry him. Im still the best thing that happened to him and whenever i land in the hospital, he is there is cheer me up. Thats love. Besides, there is nothing God cant do. Stop listening to pple and follow your heart

Anonymous said...

People are so ignorant and they think they should be spouting advice.Sickle-cell is not asthma you don,t need an INHALER.SS is not a mild form of sickle cell it,s the worst but can be managed.If they get married they will only have carriers(AS)it,s impossible to have (SS) children it,s one gene from each parents.Death is a fact of life for EVERYONE. Mumu people spouting their rubbish.

APPLE said...

Don't accept.

Anonymous said...

@KMG, do you know how many times he has been rejected cos of his genotype? abeg, dont judge the guy jor. My ex boyfriend mum told him pop and plain he couldnt marry me cos of my genotype. Is that not enough reason to hide it another time for fear of rejection? Stop stigmatizing pple for what they cant control my dear

Anonymous said...

So you think SS cariers shoud open the conversation on the first date with I have sickle-cell???!!!.They are only two months into the relationship he was not keeping secrets.The secrecy would have been to propose and gone ahead with the wedding without disclosing this information

Anonymous said...

How will her children b SS when she's AA?

Anonymous said...

He met you in June and wants marriage by November, your heart is in doubt.

Trust your instincts.

Anonymous said...

Abeg it doesnt matter as long as you are AA. Go and marry joor, people just they panic. For ignorant people, AA + SS = AS
which is still very okay
and non of your child will be SS becaus u are AS. I wonder how this people did biology in common Waec

Unknown said...

dere is absolutely no big deal for ss to marry aa.ur children wil b as nd def no ss

Anonymous said...

U r dump, AA SS can onli hve AS as children. She id scared for him, she doesn't want to become a widow

Anonymous said...

Hello dear,
so, if you're sure you're AA, the goood news is your chilldren will nor be SS, the worst that can happen is AS and that, in itself, is NOT a problem.
The bad news is that your guy will have crisis, maybe other complications from SCA and will probably not live to a ripe old age.
His health will be a serious challenge in this r/s and if you're not well-0ff, money will also become a challenge and all its implications for you and your childrens' standard of living.
Unfortunately, you might very likely become a widow a little earlier than your peers.
But you'll be with the man you love, and since you're forewarned, you'll cherish EVERY momment.
So, are you prepared?
If you're a christian, of course, all things are possible to her that believes. You can choose to believe the report of the Lord. And for your information, some people with SCA have been miraculously healed, even in this Nigeria.
So, are you prepared to love him and care for him in any eventuality?
It is well with you my dear - AE.

Anonymous said...

If you really donot know how much you love him, donot go there. Having a loved one who is SS is very hard. Hospital visit is crazy. Takes away from your job, your social life, everything will be hard. You have to really really love him to make such commitment. Lost a dear friend to SS

Anonymous said...

1000likes

ChinaU said...

AA, SS: there's a possibility that none of your children will carry the ss recessive. You will have AA and AS children. Yes, there will be times he may be in ss crisis(he'll need frequent hydration, oxygenation and pain killers), but If you love him, go for it! If you were an AS or SS, then you have every reason to be worried marrying an SS. Hope that makes sense. All the best!

pidginnews said...

hmmmmm.... Very risky in terms of medical. AA and AS will produce AS and SS only. Mendels theory of heredity.
See a medical practitioner concerning it.
And u can go ahead if u believe in Prayers.
See your Doctor and Pastor..
See pidgin news here

Anonymous said...

Ss how? Her kids ll only be AS cos she is AA. Anyway poster d only concern is his health.if u av d heart to bear d Crisis period den go ahead

Unknown said...

Hi my 1st time commenting, i usually dnt but since im in university studing abroad in medicine on subjects like this i think i should help u in a simple way saying that you should go ahead and marry him and that it is ok because ur children will not develop sickle cell they will only be carries. Ur children genotype will be AS with normal & abnormal hemoglobin. Any the one good thing is with AS it would be difficult for your children to contract malaria. &in the future just educate ur children on their genotype and how they should marry a person with AA and not AS thats all. Hope this helps & wish u all the best.

Anonymous said...

The children will be fine. Worst they will be is AS.

Anonymous said...

No sir. None of her children will be SS.

Anonymous said...

u are so naive. Since she is AA, their kids will all be AS. Didn't you do cross-matching in Biology? Iti akwu!

emeraldchic said...

Idiot
You didn't read where she wrote that she is Aa.how can they have SS child.

Anonymous said...

If you love him, you should marry him. But you can't be an irresponsible wife. You will have to take good care of him.

But wait o, ain't you guys too fast? Well, Kermit the opolo

Anonymous said...

You didn't attend biology class or what? You sound so confident in this wrong statement you made. Why are you people like this eh? All of their kids will be AS.

Anonymous said...

Lol, you met him in June and you are getting married in November. You must be desperate or clueless about marriage.

Anonymous said...

Since you love him, you can go ahead and marry him since you are AA and he is AS. Your children will all be AS. Just tell him to give you a little space to know him better before the wedding.

Anonymous said...

Dear Poster please don't accept the proposal. I've been there. Met a guy, fell in love and He knew about his ordeal but never opened up until we were getting ready to tie the knot. He just told me that like it was nothing. I was shocked and because of love I wanted to go ahead and marry Him. I think God for my aunty, a pastor and doctor,she advised me not to do it. I found out later that the guy was rejected by his previous fiancees because of the SS Condition. His crisis were worse and He had a wound on hid leg that could not heal. I spare you other details. What I found more shocking is the dishonesty. If you really love a girl, why set a trap by not telling her the truth at the beginning of the reletionship? You should at least let her know what she's involving herself into before going too far in the relationship. Men who do that are very selfish and they hide alots. NEVER ACCEPT IT MY FRIEND;it is like a ticking bomb. Mariage is not small thing. Honesty is capital!

Anonymous said...

You better run. He doesn't love you. He was searching for a girl with AA and you came along. This is why he hid his genotype. You better open your eyes. These people commenting here for you to go on they will change their opinion if it's their family member.

t-pel said...

You two can get married. But you. Need to study him very well n make your decision

Wolemike said...

You really do not need people to advice you, no one is in your own shoes. Wake yourself up... Nothing beats true love in a relationship, and if youve found it somewhere, why wait for people to make your decisions. True love is rare, and you just have to grab it whenever you get it with all your might...
Prayer on the other hand helps clear every doubt, take it to God in prayer and i'm sure you He can direct you.
Love conquers ALL...

Anonymous said...

You all are hopeless uneducated fools. Your speaking as if SS people are not human beings too. A lot of SS ppl are even stronger than aa ppl. The man doesn't need an ungrateful fool like you.

Anonymous said...

NOTICE HOW EVERYBODY THAT SAYS YOU SHOULD SAY YES ADDS BECAUSE YOU ARE AA!!!!! genotype should not be a reason to marry anyone out of pity....date him for 12months and see if you still love him or he has'nt foumd another AA lady to propose to.

Anonymous said...

Ain't any other person seeing wat am seeing?she meat him June diz year.not even up to 2months and u tink u know him better to marry an ss?dnt know wat to say but to ask u to pray...

Sexy.R said...

The thing is not just the kids.. will he live long? He told u about d crisis did u witness it? Can u stand wen it starts happening? How long will he live before he makes u a widow? He sounds desperate cos am sure he met tons of ladies before u. So y is he in a hurry now. Above all, ask God.....he is our creator.. make up ur mind by seeing d negative n positive things attached to it then u can decide. it's ur life not ours.

Anonymous said...

Oga sir, go and study your biology. None can be ss.

Anonymous said...

If you are AA and he is SS then why are you asking us this foolish questions abeg? you be illitrate? AA and SS produce As , which is just a sickle cell carrier and not a sickle cell patient. Abeg go marry and stop asking yeye questions. All you had to do was google it.

Anonymous said...

Wow. IT's amazing the amount of illiterates we have on the page.

Anonymous said...

Ur obviously the illiterate here, she knows she's not the problem, the man is. Individuals with such genotype SS have a low life expectation, nd when they have such crisis it costs a lot and most times lead to death. Lindy

Anonymous said...

How they wan carry born SS? Must u broadcast ur in- born ignorance? All their future kids would be AS. Ewu

Anonymous said...

Keep making money. Ur time is ticking. You'll end up as an unhappy rich old bitch if u don't retract ur ways. Foolish girl.

Anonymous said...

Mean bitch!

Anonymous said...

Illiterate. Double blunder. "Children" not "child". Again, all their kids would be AS. Stupid girl

Anonymous said...

I feel u deary. May God give u ur own man too IJN. An AA of course.

chubuijke said...

Pls for the sake of your kids,don't marry the man.

Anonymous said...

My dear... you are AA, he is SS. there is no way you pple would have an SS child. if you love him, don't hesitate. Marry the man already cos someone else would in no time @ all. I am SS as well and my fiance is AA. He is a medical Doctor. I am one of those lucky SS patients cos I don't have the symtoms. If I don't tell I am you would not know. And I hardly have crisis. It takes years for me. I can't even remember the last time I had one because I take care of myself and stay away from things that could possibly trigger a crisis. And even wen I do have a crisis, it's not that serious the pain is gone in less than 3 days becos there isn't usually any malaria in my system cos malaria feeds the pain. I'm more healthy than my sister who is AA. Even wen I do fall sick, it doesn't always come with the crisis. Just make sure he takes good care of himself wen you marry. As in check up on his Pcv i.e blood level regularly and stay the fuck away from mosquitoes cos they are cruel to SS. Even when he isn't I'll, treat 4 malaria @ least every 6-8 weeks cos we are in Africa. Oh... b4 I forget....stay away from strenuous exercise and anything that causes exhaustion. Just live ur live and eat healthy (eat a lot of liver cos it builds blood naturally and try to keep warm wen you are under extreme cold). I travel abroad wen it's really cold and snowy and make sure to wrap up like a burito cos cold affects the bones. Even in Nigeria, if u allow rain beat you, you are asking 4 trouble. Just follow the rules and you have no problem whatsoever and most importantly, drink a lot of fliuds cos its essential. Try not to be dehydrated at any point in time. I know some friends that are SS and are on constant medication (routine drugs) everyday. I am extremely favored cos I don't take an of that and I am very healthy. My God has been so merciful towards me in this regard. My doctor still doubts my being SS cos he doesn't get it.
So my dear marry ur man and be happy with him. Pple die everyday from all sort of situations and they were not SS. It isn't a death sentence. He might even outlive you. Do not hesitate if you love him. My fiance proposed to me after like a month of dating. I was scared @ first he would reject me if he knew my genotype. Wen I eventually knew he was for real, I told him and he didn't care I am SS cos he is AA. If he was AS, it would have been over. But thank God his love for me is really genuine and he isn't ignorant of the condition.

Unknown said...

Thank you for this comment about SS.... I am SS n still alive, we don't always have crisis when we are big.

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