Dear LIB readers: I'm sexually frustrated in my marriage.... | Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog

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Tuesday 18 March 2014

Dear LIB readers: I'm sexually frustrated in my marriage....

From a male LIB reader
I am 29 years old and I got married to the love of my life who is 3 years younger than I am. We have a 2 year old cute son and my wife is preggy with the second. My problem is that I have a mighty sex urge and libido but my wife is my complete opposite in bed. We dated for 4 years before we married and she became pregnant immediately I disvirgined her. Throughout our courtship, we never had sex but we use to enjoy hours of kissing and romance. I never thought sex was going to be an issue in our relationship till we married and she gave birth. Each time we make love she either complains that my penis is too big and painful or that I take time to cum. I have tried to increase her interest in sex through every means I know of, I use porn to make her horny but whenever we eventually have sex I feel depressed and sad because it won't be any fun. Sometimes in the process of romance, she'll cum over and over again then she'll just sleep off leaving me awake all night. I have discussed the issue with her time without number but she keeps promising to get better .I'm afraid that this is pushing me into cheating which I swore to myself never to do. I need advise from mature LIBers please before I go crazy. Thanks

369 comments:

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Anonymous said...

my dear am married too and my husband is so boring at bed ,that I don't feel like having sex with him again. I luv sex so much but he has killed my sex drive.I too need advice

Anonymous said...

Al i can advice is try n expand her vagina tru fingering..so it wud b less painful 4 her.

Anonymous said...

If a woman keeps her virginity for too long,it tends to affect her reaction to sex.Just keep pressing her until she gets use to it.

jannygurl said...

Lol@she cums ova n ova then sleeps off leaving u awake all nite. Btw u said u dated for 4 years b4 u married her but she took in immediately u deflowered her. Kinda confusing. Anyways my advice is dis. Get her to watch hot porn videos n make her realize d motive behind it which is to make her more sexually active. Also warn her dat u'll be tempted to cheat if she doesn't improve. Trust me she'll improve cos she doesn't wanna lose u except she doesn't love u

Anonymous said...

Be patient

Anonymous said...

She is not pushing you to do anything except you are heartless!she is pregnant with your child.why didn't u give her space before she takes in again.Help her a lot with household chores!life is not about sex,control urself and focus on looking after her.You can just lie down and finger her (foreplay) ,and stop without the sex,let her know you are not about the sex alone.Pls look after her.Saying this bcos I have enjoyed pampering since I met my husband,during pregnancy and after,13 years on we can't get enough of each other.Women are not lazy on bed but sometimes we need just the touch not the real thing!

Anonymous said...


please be patient and continue to encourage her. you know we all are created differently. perhaps its cos she never had sex until you got married. i believe with time she will get use to it. don't introduce any dirty and satanic like into ur matrimony. God will help her.

Unknown said...

God will see u true

♥ ȊƦȋƺȟ ƘƦȋϻ ♥ said...

Dnt knw wat 2 sai or hw 2 strt dis 1 ooooO....

Unknown said...

God will help u o

Unknown said...

I think the problem is not her but u, a guy with a big di*k and takes time to cum, haba na, her pus*y is part of the body too and feels pain if penetrated for too long. I too cant stand guyz who takes 'years' to cum, abeg oo

Anonymous said...

Gobe#
Smile*

Unknown said...

Dude don't give up, cheating will scatter ur life, her life and the family. It will not be automatic, patience and keep engaging her in romantic and togetherness activities.

merit said...

Bro,u need to consult a relationship mentor.

Anonymous said...

Please this is an issue for Eya Eyabem's blog. Most Libers are too immature.

Anonymous said...

I think you have to be patient because for some virgins it takes a while to get used to sexual activity. Have you guys tired to see a Counselor, that might help. I wish you all the best.

Alozie Paschal Okwara said...

Tough one bro. I don't know an 'right' answer for you. What I would do may not be right for you. But I would let her be. Ignore sex with her completely. Even stay out late sometimes and come back happy (no cheating) but no sex with her. Every woman has very sharp instincts. Her mind will get creative on a solution. One other thing, during this period never discuss sex with her. Change the topic. Give a month. she should be at her wit's end on how to win you back. Then give in and make love to her. Before then...buy no caustic soap or Vasline for your office. You may need them. But wank anywhere else but your house. If she knows you are wanking the aim has been defeated. This plan won't work. Good Luck.

Anonymous said...

My own candid opinion, it's always beter to atlist wait for few months after marriage before getting pregnant, so that atlist u can knw each other properly, bond properly, know eachoda, so dat during pregnancy and after having children, the relationship won't b compromised, because both party will understand and dy will bond

Anonymous said...

Wow. Broda, I'm touched cuz I respect ur discipline nt to ave sex wit ur fiance until marriage nd ur desire not to cheat on her. Iv always wanted to do same. Well firstly I'll b thankfull she got pregnant for u nd she's already heavy wit ur second. Its a commendable risk u took while courting. Secondly, u've just proloned ur life nd protected d future of ur children by making d decision nt to av extra affairs. Bt as u knw, sometimes we mean well nd we don't do well. So its of a very high priority u do well. Trust me d supp fun in extra affairs cannot be compared to d disaster dat lies ahead. U r doing d right tin bro, try wit all u ave to make it beta,nd I'm happy u doing a vital tin already which is dialogue wit ur wife. Make it work. I belive its gon be beta. Once again ders no fun outder u cannot get in ur home. Be a true man dat u r. Best wishes

Anonymous said...

please be patient and encourage her

Anonymous said...

Pls don't cheat on her!!! *say so tru linda anus*lol

Unknown said...

Be patient with her and pray abt it. But u can also make her feel like u re seeing sumone else, I didn't say u shud do it, just make her feel dat way. She myt change u knw. God's blessings in ur marriage.

Unknown said...

Work on your mind, if no progress go for deliverance. Don't be a sex freak or a rapist, na so e dey take start. Don't let ur dick control u, control am show am who's boss, tell it sit wen it ought to sit and stand wen it shld, be the boss, be in charge. Think of d love u ve 4 ur wife n children. Don't be foolish and selfish. Ur warned!!!

Unknown said...

Work on your mind, if no progress go for deliverance. Don't be a sex freak or a rapist, na so e dey take start. Don't let ur dick control u, control am show am who's boss, tell it sit wen it ought to sit and stand wen it shld, be the boss, be in charge. Think of d love u ve 4 ur wife n children. Don't be foolish and selfish. Ur warned!!!

Anonymous said...

Pele bear with her, bcos if it was the other way she would have understood with u

Unknown said...

Work on your mind, if no progress go for deliverance. Don't be a sex freak or a rapist, na so e dey take start. Don't let ur dick control u, control am show am who's boss, tell it sit wen it ought to sit and stand wen it shld, be the boss, be in charge. Think of d love u ve 4 ur wife n children. Don't be foolish and selfish. Ur warned!!!

Anonymous said...

This is serious

Anonymous said...

Get help dude. You appear to have an addiction. No woman will ever satisfy you.

Unknown said...

Take it to God in prayer. It's a gradual process. She ll meet up to ur desire. Pls no extramatrital affair. U'll destroy u home ooooooo.

Anonymous said...

Kum nd be my gay partner. I will gv it 2 u front nd back. Allow d innocent pregnant woman be! Let her rest

Anonymous said...

Take ur problem to God! I have no comment in dis one.

Anonymous said...

My bros pls don't be frustrated ur decission not to cheat is a great one I will ask u to make sex with her more sensual with her don't rush it with her with time she will ask u how she wants it let her take control for now it seems u have been in control all dis while let her take control for now I tell u she will be better with time gud luck bro

AB said...

Lol, my guy thats the same problem I am having too also that's the same problem with all this virgin girls. I got married to my wife too as a virgin but all she know is for you to make her come as many time as you can but when you now decided to come in she start complaining do it like this do it like that, Ooo NO is paining me, that's after you might have struggle to enter o because you just have to use KY gel or your spit to penetrate. Anyway, my brother all you need to do is to be patient with her just make sure you get a KY gel to lubricate her very well before you penetrate that would make the pain she goes through less and you too make sensational sounds even if there's no reasons for you to do that. Encourage her for both of you to come together, you know what you do that makes her come then if you can as well do that when your MAN is inside her then that can create possibility of both of you coming together. In that case if she enjoyed it then I believe she will be looking forward to that even if it is once. That's the Technics me and my wife uses and now she looks forward to having it 1 round in the night 1 round in the morning even in the afternoon either Saturdays, Sundays or if there's public holidays. At list half bread is better than non, if she can give you 2,3 rounds but if you can have it 1 in the night and 1 in the morning sometimes I think that should be ok. Because if you want to do it outside first think of the expenses o, even if you can get an understanding girl that will be satisfying you remember you have to pay for her own up keeping and pay for locations too its a whole lot plus attention. bros is not easy o just continue to try your best no woman that doesn't like sex is the approach that matters because its very differs in all of them. Get your approach to your woman right.

Anonymous said...

Ode. Just say u want to cheat. Don't make an excuse for cheating. If u know that u'll have HIV once u cheat, will u cheat?

Anonymous said...

Sorry abt dat dear,just try to adapt,and continue to teach her few tins she is suppose to know(xsexie blingz)

Anonymous said...

Bastard!

Utonwa said...

guy chill First...why do you have a problem with this! you just told us she was a virgin until marriage. Be patient and keep teaching her...soon you will be surprised, she will be hot in bed and beat you to your own bed games. just be patient abeg...nwayo nwayo o!

Anonymous said...

Brother pray for her but u need to be patient not all ladies love intercourse she trying to adjust u go calm down ni o no go do the thing outside it can be suicidal and you might ve done something wrong u don't know,if u love her 4who she is u won't cheat bcos u aint getting regular intercourse,"Patience with family is love, patience with others is respect, patience with self is confidence and patience with God is faith"

Anonymous said...

lmao! im so sorry its usually the other way around. she better learn how to take the D. it comes across as She is too comfortable and believes she won't loose you because of her lackadaisical sex. Have a serious conversation with her maybe she isn't taking it seriously.

Anonymous said...

I'll personally ask for Patience,understanding and more maturity.Maturity in Ur handling of dis issue is what will keep d Flame of Love burning in Ur Marriage pls.Kindly do keep talking and counselling her.As a virrgin b4 marriage,she is inexperienced.Pls Ur marriage is worth working at and working for.God Bless Ur Marriage ma Bro!

Anonymous said...

pls get out Mr.huge appetite and take ur urges too ur dogs.. dis issue has become so cliche cos when one person says sumthing evryone will want to follow suit.

Fsquare said...

Cheating is not the best option, u should talk to her more about her sexual desires, u should tell her urs too...... Since u stated that she is always complaining about the size of ur dick, u should do fore play more before u have the real sex. Good luck in ur marriage....

Anonymous said...

I feel for you , just short of words , cos I know what you are going thru .

Anonymous said...

Wif time it will get better,iy tkes time after one has disvirgin to enjoy sex,it takes a lot of time.so be patient ndd keep doing fins to exccite her to want to make love nd nat just have sex.

Anonymous said...

Abg endure biko! Wen u wr sayin 4 beat s worse @ d alter, wat do u think it means??? I knw hw frustrating it cn be cos em kinda in same shoe. Cheatin shd be d last thng on yhr mind cos d more u think abt it, u wl catch yhrsef doin it. She didn't create Hersef. And mind u, porn is dirty, it dsnt arouse emotions! Try lickin and sucking her! Pour icecreamm on her body, do crazy thngs! Whch 1 be porn mbok!!! Duh...

Unknown said...

You don't ve to cheat,just give her more time,or vist a gynaecologist

Anonymous said...

U need to take things slow wit ur wife knowing her present condition, which cud also be the cause of her loss of interest in sex. After delivery u both can nw work on hw to improve ur sexual life.

Anonymous said...

U gat a big prob.....must u do all d time

Anonymous said...

I feel your pain but i think u should try and give it some more time, i'm sure she'd come around, i used to be like her when i was pregnant with my first but my husband always tried to talk me into it as romantically as he knew, always made fore play long and exciting disregarding his own urge, and whenever we eventually get to IT he tries to be very gentle and in the process whispers to me at intervals to let him know when i need him to stop cos he doesn't want me hurt. those gestures made me come around with time so m sure she will too.

OMG!WOMAN said...

You have a strong libido yet you courted her for four years without sex, who were you having sex with for those four years with your strong libido, this your story is k-legged.

Anonymous said...

Fam,I feel you.. Just go ahead and cheat,it's inevitable

Anonymous said...

Bro a lot of men go through the same. Just use porn to control yourself for now. No be only you

Anonymous said...

This is something I am currently going g through as a woman so I feel how ur wife feels. But I am seeking help in the sense that we are now in therapy and one thing we realised is that after childbirth we both disconnected so now we are back to "dating" to rekindle d flame . also realised that contraception lowered sex drive and made sex painful so lubricants helped too.

Miss X said...

THATS ROUGH!!!

Try sex during foreplay and not after since foreplay seems to get her turned on.

Anonymous said...

Pls beer with her at times goes on she will be use to her

Anonymous said...

Pls Man,have it at d back of ur mind that women needs tlc a lot to enjoy sex coupled with raising a child and pregnant for another one.I mean bringing up a child drains a lot from women that makes them retire quickly to bed at night,though am not ruling out that some women loves sex more than men but in ur own case,u really need to work on her,don't relent,keep talking, it will help one day.Cheating is not d best solution... Then finally....Pray....it works like magic....

Anonymous said...

sex na food? onishekushe okunrin...use lotion

Anonymous said...

You just hv to take things easy with her.talk more and encourage her and do not ask recklessly as she is new in the system. Encourage her subtly. Its well.

Anonymous said...

Plz i dont see dt as a big problem,she has given u a son n pregnant 4 anoda. Just keep trying on improving her sexual perfomance n never think of going cheating on her. Wht if she is d one who has high libido n demands 4 sex very often n u cant keep up with dt,would u be ok if she thinks of cheating on u? Count ursef lucky Bro!

Anonymous said...

She's pregnant for crying out loud

Anonymous said...

@chux.com....i believe with time she Will get better,show her more love don't take the sex thing to heart just take it easy with her she will get better.generally some women are not crazy about sex hence that's what you like just be patient with her she will get better.

Anonymous said...

Hey. Lets swop. you need my wife because all she thinks about is sex, like there is nothing else to life. Sex is the only thing that settles our little quarrels at home. She even prefers sex to food. We have 4 kids already, but her sex urge is still over 200 percent. Pls come take her before I faint on top of the matter one day. I hope she doesn't read this

Anonymous said...

Why don't u guys see a therapist: sexual and marriage?. Kudos at holding on bro!
@spahi

Darkchildlovethyhair said...

Please do not cheat. It might be hard but give her some time. Pregnancy has a way of messing with ones sexdrive and so does breastfeeding. If she got pregnant the firdt time you had sex and now she's pregnant again it could be that her hormones are holdkng her back. After this baby start again. Be patient, involve her in the act and teach her how to pleasure you.hopefully things will be better. All women are different so be patient. I hope I made sense

Anonymous said...

just wait on her,and try helping her. please dont go into cheating because that will scatter your life.. read books about sex, you will find help.

Anonymous said...

Madam plz don't push ur hussy 2 d wall oo jst try nd make him happy

Anonymous said...

Pele oh!

Anonymous said...

my broda,do the needful

Anonymous said...

Go tell yah pastor

Anonymous said...

Try and hang on dear she wil come around and get used to it!remb u r her 1st!she hasn't explored and sme women dnt rili enjoy sex but with time dey do....

Anonymous said...

teach her au 2 *uck and b patient wit her. Pls cheating is neva a wayout cos u'll only destroy ur family

doctor who said...

it's your cross carry it. You like virgins abi ... norture her till she likes it and if she says no..live with it or go jerk off whenever u in the mood. just don't cheat cos you'll end up ruining your marriage.

Anonymous said...

I wld ve loved to advise bt I wwont comment on dis blog again cos Linda doesn't post me hard-typed comment
$$k@y$$

Anonymous said...

Am so happy to hear a man complain of sexual dissatisfaction cause that has become women's middle name. The men have neglected women's feelings as far as sex is concern and this has left most women frustrated other took to cheating. Am just so glad that someone in the is sitting on the other side of the table lol

Anonymous said...

Yeah. Because he doesn't provide money for the family and the child in question is not his own. My friend vanish from here with that foolishness!!

Anonymous said...

i feel for you, because you have no glue what marriage is about, u hit the marriage age and you told yourself you r ready, when in the real sense of the word you are not ready. I feel for your wife cos she married wrong. so all the issues you have in your home, u will write an open letter to readers of lindaikeji's blog to help you solve them. you need help man and most of all you need to find Jesus and grow-up. marriage is no child's play and its not for the faint of heart. Get a grip of your self and focus on other things like biz or wrk while you wrk thru your issues with your wife.

Anonymous said...

LoL @ Delusional romance novel reader

Anonymous said...

Home wrecker

Anonymous said...

control ur sex drive guy, no kill the woman.If u feel sex a lot wank yourself.

Anonymous said...

@ Rita, please what's the prayer point? Please let's be realistic.

Anonymous said...

Feels to me like dis dude is advertising himself. Your wife says ur penis is too big, u don't cum quick while she cums multiple times, u have a huge sexual appetite..etc. I'm willing to bet this dude is a male whore

Walata said...

Man U need to take her to a sex expert okay or sex therapist there's nufin the lib ppl go do oh make I yarn u well and besides pray dat God go help u

Anonymous said...

lol. that's a great plan and I trust it will work . Just don't go overboard with it . Also advice her to hit the gym this will help with her energy level. A beg u get cousin.... lol we get good heart and a big **♡* like u ? : D

Anonymous said...

try the cunnilingus and try taking it slowly. while doin so, play a lullaby or soft music preferrably jazz. ensure ur stokes follow the rythm of the music...while u whisper or do some talking while making love. wen she's about to hit d clouds and gribs u so hard...jes reduce ur strokes and pull out. this kinda resets he whole session and brings her to a point she cant resist. she'll crave for u while u stroke her and things might jes get berra. u jes can start with a massage occasionally especially o her waist line if shes got dimples down dere. use ur tongue to stroke her spinal column wen u ram her from behind. u jes mught realise u havent given her wat she has always wanted. goodluck man

Apple said...

That is why it is good to test each other before marriage to know if you two are compatible sexually!

Anonymous said...

The fruitie has spoken nnnyyyyyeeee!

Anonymous said...

Whatever you pls dont cheat on her. it will break her.

Anonymous said...

Na virgin now. go easy. Teach am wetin you want. Make love not have sex..

Anonymous said...

Simply genius advise! Gbam

juliet obichere said...

hmmmm! this is serious issue oh!

Unknown said...

If you want more than 2 rounds at a go then you are a killer. 3 rounds ke? U shld be arrested. Lmao.

Anonymous said...

Abeg, wht is lib turning into. If u need a mate go and ask how ur mama dey do am coz i knw u got dat thru inheritance or u ar trying to gain popularity here? If yes oponu ni e coz we actually dnt av time for whore like u here.

Anonymous said...

For shocking, yet truthful advice, email me at thewisdombank@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

I had the same problem too. i didn't look foward to having sex when i just got married cos it was really painful for me. my husband and i didn't have sex until we were married. I was the virgin and he wasn't really patient with me until we talked about it. He asked me what i wanted and how i wanted it and he went with the flow. Gradually my libido started increasing. Pls don't be in a hurry, use alot of foreplay and make sure she is wet before penetration. We have an amazing sex life now.

bertie said...

hmmmmmmmmm, put some hormonal liquid into her tea, that will intoxicate her, and u will give her the real fuck of her life, that will make her love sex.

Unknown said...

jst b calm on her n let her no hw u feels abt her sexual inability!am sure she wil want to kip her home n make u hapi too.
i am nt a virgin either my fiancee met me disflowered bt he started teaching me all e wanted from me on bed cos his libido is jst higher dan my Ex dates!and now we ar coping

prettyjules said...

Gbam! Na here talk finish..

Anonymous said...

Wrong!im a woman and porn arouses me,it makes horny as f*k.so don't generalize

Anonymous said...

Thats d problem with long term relationships with only romance and no sex. To make it worse, wit a virgin girl. Her body has neva known sex and has been accustomed to getting pleasure (cum and cum over again) from basic romance. Sex wud definitely be new and feel weird to what her body is used to for 4years

Alloy Chikezie said...

Love making between
married couples should be something more passionate; almost like a sacred beautiful dance"


Your comment will be visible after approval

Anonymous said...

U can try some toys or tell ur wife to step up




See the Lady with The Biggest and Hottest Hips Ever

Unknown said...

lol dude don't commit adultery, def need to get that 69 popping, teach her how to suck and what feels good

Unknown said...

Ewu Hausa! (Hausa Goat)

Anonymous said...

Thank you o he is a fool. Saying that she comes a lot.. How can you come a lot and not want more. Joker!!!!!!! Lol

Anonymous said...

wow @cytain Diana you dont have shame. Cant you see the guy is married?

Anonymous said...

Bitch! Let your boyfriend get another girlfriend elsewhere! Dirty swine!!

Anonymous said...

@ceeflo well, if you're chritstian you should know that's how it should be and there are no guarantees if u go all the way

Anonymous said...

My dear, i used 2 be lyk ur wife..i mean common u met her a virgin wot do u expect. u nid 2 teach her n nt making her watch porn..

Anonymous said...

Bros, im married and i experienced this and truth be told IT WILL NEVER GER BETTER because you are both not sexually compaitble. I ended up cheating after years of frustration and discussions with my wife. Till today our sex life is no fun but im actually tired of complaining. Every other aspect of our marriage is fine except the sex. No kids yet but we are waiting on the lord. I wish you the best but quite frankly you will most likely end up cheating. Just be decent about it and respect your wife enough to avoid her knowing about it cos it will ruin your relationship. Best of luck

Unknown said...

The Act of Marriage: The Beauty of Sexual Love
by Tim LaHaye, Beverly LaHaye ......Pillow Talk by Bimbo Odukoya


Be gentle with her why you explain things to her.

Encourage her to read em books...they will help.

All the best, dear. DO NOT CHEAT

Opelicious Morgann said...

This is a huge problem in many marriages. Now I see why testing is necessary.

Anonymous said...

Guy go and wank jor... what do you take us for? Machine?... We need love, intimacy, and u gotta know how to sexually arouse her.
I can bet you are the selfish type in bed cos of your high sexual libido. Its frustrating on her side if before she gets sexually aroused you've already CUM & then your done... then crash(sleep..snore), leaving her hanging.
Wish i could contact her so i can tutor her on how to keep you excitingly "hanging" until she gets dere and you both can explode (climax) together.... mhen that part is da BOMB!

Unknown said...

You need deliverance and forgiveness. You are the polygamous type. God help yyou

Anonymous said...

LOL!!! HIV is REAL

Anonymous said...

LET HIM KEEP ON TRYING

Anonymous said...

Sorry ooooh baby assasin aka j, you complain wen you are a cheat yourself. Repent sleeping with other gals and she will change.

Anonymous said...

You need to pay some attention during foreplay, u have to figure out the point at foreplay when she's about to come and that's where you penetrate her. It'll take a while to master this process but just be patient....She can also help u by telling u wen she has reached that point. If she's complaining about the size of your dick then use a lubricant

Anonymous said...

Lol @ 'do well we'll'
Long distance relationships- Yay or nay....share your views on omalichaspeaks.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

LOL.. This is very funny, you guys need to work it out together.



Lagos lecturer caught with Chick

Sweetest Pussy said...

Send me ur contact, I wl resolve the whole issue

Anonymous said...

DON'T CHEAT ON YOUR WIFE OOO! I believe sex is God's gift to married couples so pray about it. It always pays to do things the right way TRUST ME PLEASE NEVER CHEAT ON YOUR WIFE. I personally don't have experience with sex so I would just advice you and your wife to pray and read books on healthy sexual relationships and PLEASE NO MORE PORN as you can see for yourself IT SOLVED NOTHING.

Anonymous said...

Best advice here....muahhh nelson

Anonymous said...

Lmao

Aby said...

Dear,

Dont forget you disvirgined her couple of years ago. Dont make your sexual relationship a desperate and agressive one all the time.

Try being romantic and be gentle with her. she will surely come around and emjoy you.

Its a matter of time!

ZeeZee said...

LOLZ, men answer him

Dr Livia said...

The problem is dat she isn't enjoying sex. U say she coms, actually she didn't she jus pretents to so dat u would hurry and get off her. Try a different sex position. Maybe with her on top facing u in a sitting position, using her hands as support on ur knees. That way she controls the depth of ur dick so dat u don't hit her uterus. Also advice her not to pound when she is on top but rub or gring while sweezing her v and clits. Den make sure u r playing with her boobs while at it. Dat will make her climax fasted. If all this fails the it could be hormonal. Get her maca root supplements.

Anonymous said...

Your story is so incomplete. U married her as a vergin but u weren't, ur expectations are quite relative..... meaning u have been very active in sex before u decide d to settle with her.
Be patient dude, ur sexual history with ur wife is to early to draw conclusions and cry of frustration. She is still fresh in the act and u r an obvious PhD holder.
Like seriously u should give her time and be warned there's more downtime to come, raising kids and frequent enjoyable sex don't exactly go together. Goodluck!

Anonymous said...

Lmaooooooooooooo

Anonymous said...

Yes u ve said it all.its normal u jst need to teach her

Anonymous said...

U cudnt solve urs for 10yrs,its his own dt u wnt 2 solve wit advice abi? Lol,sidon abeg.

Unknown said...

I suggest you speak to a therapist, i don't think she understands what you are going through, i hope it works out for you. XO.

The Pink Jewel said...

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Anonymous said...

I want to come from a totally different point of view.
First, men have to understand that we're not wired the same way with women. While mere seeing ANY part of your wife's body is just enough to trigger sensations and urge in the man, for a woman, it is completely different.
Simply put, a man is moved by mere sight while for the woman, it is more complicated.
For you to put your wife on the mood and enjoy her co-operation as well as participation, you need to just do more than just tell her you need sex. It starts from those sweet soft words you say to her, romantic gestures, etc. Sexual urge in women could be triggered by as simple as mere words, gestures and motives. You don't give her the impression that you remember or approach her whenever you need SEX. For them, , it's a great turnoff, im addition to that you make her feel used.
More seriously, if she's so frigid and lack interest in sex extremely, then this could be enhanced simply by getting her drugs to help hwr enjoy sex. For instance, Spanish Fly for women would help, as it is capable of making her feel horny...
Above all, remember that sex is something that should be enjoyed mutually and as such your wife too and her interests must be considered.
Blesssings...

Anonymous said...

Mr. man,
I will advice you to speak with her and probably her dr. One thing you have to understand is every pregnancy is different. She might have been horny the whole time during the first pregnancy and now for this one she has no interest. I am saying this because am going thru the same thing.
My hubby loves sex but u cannot over do it especially when ur wife is not feeling it cos of the pregnancy, or she might be dry due to hormone changes. Its a problem but discussing this with her and being patient will help. Also my hubby gives me time and lets me come to him....sometimes he starts it and i get in the mood.
She comes frequently because she doesn't want to stay too long cos she is probably tired; so her hope is her coming will make u come and end the whole scene....

Anonymous said...

Hello sis or bro.

Anonymous said...

Try giving her some aphrodisiacs like Spanish lady's chewing gum.

Onyx Godwin Adviser said...

Stop putting your mouth in adult content. Omo oshi. You better go and write JAMB. I no pity your mouth. Stupid idiotic goat.

SIMPLYCOCK said...

Well the sexual compatibility of you both is in issue here...
You had a 4-year courtship period with your wife, yet failed within that long period to discover what you are now battling with today...
I see she's the quick type, while you are the slow sort...
Well she is still relatively young...
You both are, any way...
Some women grow into real hype sex life as the get older...
So, give her some time...
She'll come around...

Anonymous said...

Tell her "this kind of attitude is what makes some men cheat on their wives...". She definitely sit up, howsoever.

Anonymous said...

his is too funny. the picture then the tone in which the guy used to write this. awww. i feel bad for u doe.

Anonymous said...

first of all it aint all about you. do you even know how your wife feels? then if she is getting hurt during sex then that means that your penis is too long for her Virgina and you will hurt her more so dont push it in too much

Anonymous said...

You made a mistake. You disvirgined her so soon and she had a baby. You never allowed her get to experience and enjoy sex first. When women have babies it takes away a part of their attention and sometimes even reduces their libido. Now she is pregnant again after she has the baby start using contraception and try to get both of you into rhythm. Try to learn what she likes and get to know what makes her stay excited the whole time. You are the own that has to make it exciting for her. You will be her teacher.

Watch her and respond to her body in bed. That way you will find what gets her horny all the time. You cannot rush her in bed. In fact for some women giving head still helps in between penetration.

Good luck

Anonymous said...

In the same boat here. I am loosing interest in sex with my husband for the following reasons; 1. After the birth of our son he started behaving like I was irritating him.2. He comes home from work with smelly socks n refuses to shower or even take them off.3. He waits for me to make d first move.if I dont he just sleeps off. 4. He doesn't make me want to love him in bed cos he is too bossy and doesnt please me much attitude wise. 5. He sometimes has bad breath and when I talk to him he gets angry. The list can go on and on. And he complains that am a dead fish in bed that he will soon go out. I spoke n spoke even got him a book that explains all I feel but he refused to read it. So now am praying for my marriage o.

Anonymous said...

do not talk to her mother or any spiritual head if shes not the type of person who likes third party involvement. also do not threaten her about u cheating or stuff. it would only make her see u as being selfish. shes pregnant. and she got preg for ur first kid immediately after marriage.. this is very normal for virgins who get pregs immediately after they are introduced to sex. just take it easy with her. talk to her. try to romance her. u guys should cuddle and have private time. do allthe stuffs u did when u were dating. dont make it seem like u are trying to get sex from her. let it be more of a guy and girl are chilling and anything can happen. most women hate pressure especially when they are pregs so do not pressure her.

i do respect u doe. 4 years no sex. u are a good man and God would reward u.

Anonymous said...

Ok. I was like dt too coz my husband married me as a virgin. He was very patient nd kept talking to me till I changed. Now I want more than he's giving me and it's becoming an issue in our marriage. But am patient coz he was patient with me too

Anonymous said...

Diana iam down and hot hook me up my name is detiny

MRS OHIO ERANKO said...

YOU NEED TO EMPLOY BEDROOM ASSISTANT. GET IN TOUCH WITH THE LIBIDINOUS AGENCY . AH HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AnnMarie said...

you have a 2 years old son and she is pregnant. maybe she's stressed up

Anonymous said...

How can I contact u

kunle said...

All this sexual problem self. I too have a problem. I hate sex, what can I do?

Anonymous said...

No o! Na 10 rounds u suppose go! You want to kill someone's child abi?

Anonymous said...

My dear,it's so obvious sex with ur husband is so boring that's y u killed ur interest in it. Better try other men cos sex is a beautiful thing.

Anonymous said...

A lot of good advice have bn given. Most important is to explore her body to find out which part turns her on. Be patient. Women don't like rushing things when it comes to making love. Mind you sex is different from making love. Good luck

Unknown said...

I will only ask you just one question and that question give you the solution to your problem. Do you really LOVE your WIFE? Yes or No, if you answer is yes don't give up just pray to God and trust in him for he is the head of family issues like this. please take heard and still love your wife as before.

Unknown said...

It happen mostly to ladies who get married without aving sex b4 . The urge don't come to them lik guys . My advice stay away let her miss u for some month u will began to av a feelin for it and grow gradually . U av to also make her hungry fr it !!! I know it's not easy fr a guy . But really it works . She is just a tough lover . Wen u stay away frm her fr lik a month or 2 , u watch and see even wen she make a move tell her u ain't in s mood. Doesn't mean u don't want make her grow in d urge ,

Unknown said...

Take easy with the dude ? He only needs an advice , if u av 1 to advice him

Anonymous said...

Fooooolll. Pls crawl back into your hole.

SUPERVISOR said...

MARRIAGE,LOVE AND SACRIFICE ARE INTERTWINED. SHE WILL LOVE SEX WITH AGE, SO BEAR WITH HER FOR NOW! NOTE ALSO THAT - MOST WOMEN DONT LIKE THE GONZO TYPE FILMS WE GUYS LIKE. ROMANTIC FILMS DO IT FOR THEM.

Anonymous said...

well the truth is sex is a thing of the mind, the best time to have sex with your wife will be in the morning because she has rested well and women tend to have their sex hormones released in the morning, be gentle with her, kisses, mild touches here and there, most women like heads hehehehehehehehe but be gentle and try to cum on time as well, i hope this helps

Anonymous said...

well the truth is sex is a thing of the mind, the best time to have sex with your wife will be in the morning because she has rested well and women tend to have their sex hormones released in the morning, be gentle with her, kisses, mild touches here and there, most women like heads hehehehehehehehe but be gentle and try to cum on time as well, i hope this helps

Anonymous said...

Goddy call me na, rizel by name, 08028549770... jus wana no u pal

Anonymous said...

THIS ADVICE IS FOR WHEN SHE EVENTUALLY GIVES BIRTH TO YOUR BABY......GET HER TO SMOKE WEED AND BE HIGH, SHE WOULD SO ENJOY IT AND NOT FEEL ANY PAIN CAUSED BY YOUR PENIS

Anonymous said...

Both of you are young, that's the first problem!!! She's 26years old now right? And you are her first and only? If all the above is correct then you need more than just a porn movie to get her to enjoy intercourse with you. She is naive in that matter and I'm guessing you are too. For woman, it goes beyond just penetration and climax. A woman is very emotional about love making. (love making and not just hardcore sex ok?) you need to be patient with her, you need to be romantic, set the atmosphere, maybe go on a trip without your child because a child can be a huge distraction for us women. There's so much you both really need to do together in order to enjoy love making ok? Call me if you need more info or have your wife call me. 08096888514. Good luck

Anonymous said...

Lol Oga you sef take am easy with am na,dat your sausage dey Para oh, Omo no tear her pussy! plus "SEX" is not everything.Relax, plus you sound greedy,more like you actually married her for her "PUSSY' Oh boy be contend with what you have. Atenuje lo pa sule

Anonymous said...

Bruv, one word "CHEAT". You need to release some way or the other #JustSaying

Anonymous said...

My husband was very patient with me. Once I became pregnant for our first child, my sexual urge flew out the window. We always talked about it and I felt really sad when I saw how he looked each time I said I didn't feel like, or it's painful. And it really was. I just wished he could feel what I was feeling. Its really really really difficult to make love wholeheartedly when you don't feel like. I kept apologising to him about the way things were, and assuring him things will improve. While I was doing that, I was praying to God to restore my urge and preserve our marriage. My husband kept assuring me to relax, and I would enjoy it. He was very sensitive to how I felt. And because he was so considerate with me, it wasn't difficult to be considerate of him too. I took his advice of trying to relax, while he was being patient with me. We have been married for five years plus now, with three children and my sexual urge started heightening just last year. Now,love making is so great, I lay down thanking God for creating such a beautiful thing; He really has an incredible sense of humour. Now we remember those days when it was difficult and thank him for being patient with me. I know how you both feel. Just be patient with her, and pray about it. Seriously. I know that sounds funny but God does answers prayers and you have to give Him time to answer. Marriage is about love, longsuffering and patience and enjoyment. The enjoyment comes after the patience. Pregnancy does change a woman's sexual desire (trust me, you have no idea how she is feeling). It changed mine like it did your wife. But my husband and I always talked about it for long hours. You need to make your wife understand how its making you feel, and you need to stop watching pornography- its only worsening your present situations by painting an unrealistic picture of sex. She most likely feels you are not being understanding, and you most likely feel same way too. So you two need to sit down and talk about this. Rather than getting angry with her or depressed about how she made love you to, keep loving her and gently ASSURE her that its not going to hurt her. Help her to relax so she can enjoy it (because honestly its very enjoyable, but only when she is not afraid of the painshe must have experienced during previous love making). Don't impose unrealistic positions and needs on her like what you see on pornography. For somebody not enjoying sex right now, its only going to mount pressure on her and pressure is not good for love making. Start with her most comfortable positions and when her urge starts improving you too can try other positions, and please not from pornography. I pray God helps you both. Its not her fault that she feels that way. Its because of the pregnancy. I think it will be very unfair to her for you to cheat on her, especially with someone who hasn't been pregnant before and just wants to use you for whatever. Please be patient with her and it will get better. I pray God helps you both and give you both Grace because you both need it.
Don't stop believing, don't let go. Don't miss a chance of something very beautiful with your wife because you couldn't wait anymore. Your love can change it all.

Anonymous said...

Feel u man. It's not easy but you should just try to control your self. Cos dis has advantage and disadv co aur woman don't like sex you're guaranteed she can't cheat. At the same time if you change her it's dangerous. Just train yourself to her level. It will come Don't cheat please. You met her as a virgin don't forget that.

Anonymous said...

Diff strokes for diff folks. I was disvirgined by my husband after marriage but I don't enjoy sex with him at all, doesn't last 2mins and he sleeps off. I practically have to beg to have him sleep with me once in like 2 weeks. I have never slept with any other man in my life but I am frustrated with it. Maybe cos i was expecting a professional ( lol) as he was sleeping around like a dog b4 marriage was begging me to indulge in premarital sex, I suspect he's still cheating sef.

Anonymous said...

you guys don't wear protection? fuck it your'e young go find some whore at work fuck her whenever you want and move on who cares? this shit happens all the time from both parties....

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