Dear LIB readers; I checked my wife's phone and I died...
From a male LIB reader
If you don't want to die of heartbreak, I think it's best not to check your spouses phone. I did over the weekend and I haven't recovered from it. I went through my wife's phone and I saw a text she sent to her ex, a man she had a baby with where she told him he denied her the fairytale life she'd hoped for. That they would have been so happy together but he decided to chose someone else over her and that their son is a remainder of a great love that could have been but never was. She said she would never stop loving him and hoped in another lifetime, God will give them another chance and he would choose her. She sounded so heartbroken. She's been married to me for two years and we have a son together. So it means she's not happy with me and is only with me because the love of her life rejected her? I'm heartbroken. Don't know how to confront her about this. This is so painful
Truly heartbroken. Anyways, I believed once a man or women is married; all contact with exes should be avoided or else it brings back the old mutual feelings in such exes which could even lead to cheating n adultery. Well, If it were me; I will make her fairytale come true by chasing her out of my home. So she could go back to her ex n not wait for another lifetime.
I was with mine and she was pinging him, thinking I was asleep. I saw everything. She still doesn't know. I didn't tell her, won't tell her. It just gave me a license-two can play the game. Funny enough I wasn't hurt, cos I've learnt to date women with a vocabulary that has the "TRUST" word missing.
Will u keep ur dirty mouth shut. Did he say he thinks she sleeping with him. So wen it comes to a woman still loving their ex it's a problem huh. Isn't it a signature thing even a tradition for a married man to love all the ex nd love more gals. U better use ur brain and stop talking arrant nonsense. Hisssssssss @king of boys
Try finding out what fired up the love she had for the previous guy and practice it including some of your own moves. Stop worrying about it, remember women are very emotional when it comes to the love thing. Get yourself together and perform.
The best way for peace to reign in ur home and for u to get over wat u saw is for u to talk to her abt it. Let her knw wat u saw, then ur mind will be @ peace if not. U'll strt developing hatred for her with evening knwing it
Take heart my brother. That's women for u and the most painful thing is;to them,for the fact they r d ones doing it,it doesn't matter but if its the other way round heaven will be let loose. Am going thru d same thing now and my partner bluntly told me to my face that there's nothing I can do abt it. Yours is small cos mine even pays her ex visit in his house n has the gut to tell me that her ex still loves her. All my effort to make her see reasons and put an end to this is futile. Just on friday last week she proudly told me that I step on her right by interfering in the unholy relationship she's having with the ex. She said so many things like her ex being tall and handsome,even denied ever broken up with him. To her,they never broke up,since as she argued, they didn't had any fight,quarrel, or even issues etc,that they just separated and so is not enough reasons for her not to be seeing and communicating with her ex. You are not alone on this bro . Just take heart
I don't think you need to confront her what I think you need to do is to give her dat fairytale life d first man didn't give her before u knw it she is so much in love with you and will just forget d other man most people get married without loving each other d live may just come up along d way.try it
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This is small, what if your wife tells you she cause the day she met you. That even though you make her reach organism whenever you make love with her, that she closes her eyes to bear another man in her mind and enjoy herself
na wa ooo. tell her as it is in your heart becos communication is very vital in relationships esp. marriage. find out what still thrills her about her ex subtly, you never can tell...it might be little things you ignore which to you doesn't matter.
Hmm! You may need to make her feel loved, not by saying I love u. Show her love by kissing her forehead, drop love notes, buy her flowers, under-wears, laugh, play and watch movies with her. As a husband, do not act as if you are her boss, help her out at home when you can and see if she will not delete her ex's contact from her phone. Love her and she will adore and worship you.
since you have put this story on public domain, it is likely she will know of this and would come to apologise to you. This is what killed my past relationship. My ex always kept in communication with her exes. I shooed her off my life for good cos she wasnt worth it bitch. Glad i did that from your story, now m happily married with kids.
Best advise so far is from omokorede.... I believe he must have had a similar experienced before like me, anyway yours is better : my own was sexting with pictures........ me I died and came back. Being married 9years. Imagine we got to the end of our marriage and we are still together.but to be honeeeeest! !! I started it first and she found it on my phone more than 3times after I promised I have stopped. So she told me FIRST TO DO NO DEY PAIN I regretted my actions totally.......... so better to keep it to yourself bcos it was betray of trust on your part and plzzzzzzzz, never ever do that again!! Test her trust also by, putting something on your phone that can affect her. If she asks you theeeen you can confront her also and then talk.That was what my wife did to me the third and last time.
Fredlaw,talk is cheap. That's why it's easier said than done.. what makes you feel it can't be settled? Do u know if she's been treated right @ all in her present marriage? Learn never to judge from afar.
set up a scenario whereby she discovers a letter from your ex telling her love for you and hoping that,sooner or later ,you will be together.Oberseve her reactions and if she doesn't seem hurt by that,split with her.If she questions you about the letter then confront her about her ex and shame her duplicity.
Personally I don't think I'll ever settle with a girl that already has a baby with someone else, except if the father of the baby is no longer alive. The baby will always be a point of contact between the two and before you know what's going on, that old fire will be rekindled again.
Again to the ladies, they should learn to deal properly with their past relationship before moving on to new and stop mixing up things. You will be in a mans house, another mans house go dey hungry, a man wey no even send u in the first place.
As a married woman also, I was in this kind of shoe at one time in my marriage.. long for my ex and wish I had been patient enough to have married him cos I belve he was more fun to be it, even though my parent were against our relationship then, and were happy I dint end up wit him.. we were mostly chatting, he was like a girlf that i cld talk to, seems he was not married.. but at time goes by, i realise i was doing a wrong thing, anytime he talked about d past,what I miss about him and tryin to compare himself wit my husband, i was not comfortable wit it anymore.. i myself was d one stop d communication but i know even i see him i wil never cheat on my husband physically but i am doing it in another way which is wrong.. give her time, she wil get over it by u loving her more.. I love my husband now more than ever
Nice comment coming from a 1st timer.seriously my advice is you go watch this season movie called "wat life stole from her"(1-13).then you would appreciate better what it means to win her over.you are just married for 2yrs,you've got all the time to make her forget her former love and cling to you like a niche for the rest of her life.am a woman and i know it is possible.all the best way
my brother,just be extremely careful because this lady in question does not have any feelings for you she is just using you to while away time. If care is not taken she might be still sleeping around that her ex because ladies can be very funny and dangerous. If you are eating with the devil you need a long spoon.
You seen her phone, tell her about it, discuss it and be frank with it. There is no point living with a woman who wishes she was with someone else and not you. Life is too beautiful to waste it on pretence.
my brother,most times in life unusual things do occurred. The fact is that this ladies you called your wife does not have any feelings for you, she is trying live a life of pretence.The simple truth is that she may be still seeing her ex. remember when dinning with the devil you need a longer spoon. because she may end up killing you and return to her ex.
I know how she feels. I dream about my ex almost every day. We had so much in common and he introduced me to good music, books and was very learned and suave. Genotype issues had to break up. My husband is not half the man he is.
Pls plz pls Mr man , whatever u do do not forgive her. if ur wife has the guts , the heart , to do something like this then trust me , she doesn't deserve u !
Relax your mind , call her people and your people to a VERY IMPORTANT family meeting , and calmly break it to them . Tell them u can no longer continue with the relationship ... Pls , stand ur ground , don't curse or swear at any one , just do ur thing and end the marriage as calmly as possible . do not tolerate indiscipline and infidelity .
A word is enough for the wise ... God bless u . BE AS CALM AS POSSIBLE
Because people want to escape the stigma of being unmarried among u people in Nigerian society. They don't want you Naija people to kill them with question about when they're getting married or look down on them as unmarried. THAT'S why they do it. And that stupid stigma is destroying homes. Until we change our mindset it will continue. Thank you
Your wife is NOT unfaithful. She is only expressing herself naturally. Love her more and pretend never to have seen the text; but on her birthday celebrate her with cake and goodies...............but don't forget to include a greeting card. Inside the card, write the message as it is on her phone and put the date, and to whom she sent it to.................. WATCH OUT WHAT WOULD HAPPEN.
Confront her and let her know d consequences of Wat she did. Meanwhile tell her if she s not interested. U would file a divorce. No woman would love to leave her home
SAME THING HAPPENED TO ME SEVERAL YEARS AGO. MARRIED WITH CHILDREN. CHECKED HER PHONE AND BINGO! LOVE MESSAGES WITH SOMEONE ELSE.I TRIED TO GET THINGS BACK TOGETHER BUT IT DID NOT WORK OUT. WE ENDED UP GOING OUR SEPARATE WAYS. SHE WAS SO INTO HER EX. AFTER WE WENT APART SHE CONTINUED SEEING HIM.IT WAS REALLY SAD.THESE DAYS WOMEN ARE CHEATING MORE THAN THE MEN BUT THEY HIDE IT SO WELL AND THE MEN DO NOT KNOW UNTIL IT IS TOO LATE AT TIMES.
I am in the same situation, everything is right except genotype. I really don't know what to do. If to just go ahead and hope for the best children-wise cos I don't want my children to be sick every time too. And I also don't want to be married to someone else and thinking of him everyday. What will you advise. I even don't mind adopting.
What is wrong with people this days ? I can't believe some of u are asking him to apologize for going through his wife's phone ,TF is that ? Your own wife ? Unbelievable!!
Pls plz Mr man whatever u do , do not forgive her . be calm . call your people and her people to a very imp family meeting , and break it to them. Don't confront her , don't fight her or curse her , just show your evidence to his pple and ur pple . end the marriage amicably .
The most outstanding and sensible comment here is this "truevinemedia@yahoo.com said... I usually don't comment on LIB..but i had to address this...i think u need to win her over...the fact that you are married to her does'nt translate to automatic love..people say i do for various reasons...you need to get to the innermost part of heart...i know it hurt but getting heartbroken isn't the solution"
Please win your wife. Confront her with the situation but tell her you would like her to say the same things about you. Theres something that guy did right and honestly you need to make your wife love you like that. Have a very open conversation about it. Its definitely not the end of your marriage. BE STRONG
You just told a story from your own point of view, but I believe if your wife should say her own side of the story, she will have something to say about you that might have led to this story.
Bro, every relationship has it's up and downs. In relationship, we don't solve our issues/problems the same way we created them. Go to your wife and find out for yourself what is her problem, you might even be her problem or the curse of her problems who knows( in your attitude, behavior or character). Sometimes is very unfair to blame women for every wrong move they make when most of their actions, pains and plights are cursed by men.
Let me ask you a question, in what ways do you honor your wife? or don't you think she need to honored just like you want her to honor and respect you? It is very easy to tell the world what she has done wrong and it is also a shame on you to tell the whole world what is happening in your relationship because you might not get a better advice, many will make a story out of you and mock you instead. What about her good sides, have you told the world yet? or she's without any good side? Before you married her I believe she was your best among many.
Let no one deceive you, everything desired in a relationship is practical and workable.To bring your wife to where you want her to be in your relationship is to overlook her bad side and build a bigger and real love for her, try as much as you can to stop digging into her affairs or her past life, you will be doing yourself a lot of good. Occupy her life with your love and her love with your life for love covers multitude of sin.
She might be a weak woman, Please, support, encourage and always dialogue with her, don't be quick to judge.
Maturity lives in our attitude and not in our actions, actions are uncertain.
I am so heartbroken for you my brother, i feel your pains bro. Nothing can be worst than this especially if you are a good and faithful husband. Just take it easy and talk to her about it, let her understand how deeply it hurt and if you truly love her forgive her and find a way to move on because marriage as they say is no picnic its lots of work. And if you are unsure about your love towards her you can take some time off to think and reflect. it will also give her the time to realize the kind of damage she may have caused and she may want to save her marriage by not repeating the same mistake again. I wish you the best.
264 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 264 of 264femmedy said...
Truly heartbroken. Anyways, I believed once a man or women is married; all contact with exes should be avoided or else it brings back the old mutual feelings in such exes which could even lead to cheating n adultery. Well, If it were me; I will make her fairytale come true by chasing her out of my home. So she could go back to her ex n not wait for another lifetime.
GBAM..........
Awwwwwww sorry broda take heart ehhhn... But u av 2 talk to her.
I was with mine and she was pinging him, thinking I was asleep. I saw everything. She still doesn't know. I didn't tell her, won't tell her. It just gave me a license-two can play the game. Funny enough I wasn't hurt, cos I've learnt to date women with a vocabulary that has the "TRUST" word missing.
Will u keep ur dirty mouth shut. Did he say he thinks she sleeping with him. So wen it comes to a woman still loving their ex it's a problem huh. Isn't it a signature thing even a tradition for a married man to love all the ex nd love more gals. U better use ur brain and stop talking arrant nonsense. Hisssssssss
@king of boys
Try finding out what fired up the love she had for the previous guy and practice it including some of your own moves. Stop worrying about it, remember women are very emotional when it comes to the love thing. Get yourself together and perform.
Looku Looku dem plenty for here... *in Don Jazzy voice*
OKORO UPGRADED*"
The best way for peace to reign in ur home and for u to get over wat u saw is for u to talk to her abt it. Let her knw wat u saw, then ur mind will be @ peace if not. U'll strt developing hatred for her with evening knwing it
Take heart my brother. That's women for u and the most painful thing is;to them,for the fact they r d ones doing it,it doesn't matter but if its the other way round heaven will be let loose. Am going thru d same thing now and my partner bluntly told me to my face that there's nothing I can do abt it. Yours is small cos mine even pays her ex visit in his house n has the gut to tell me that her ex still loves her. All my effort to make her see reasons and put an end to this is futile. Just on friday last week she proudly told me that I step on her right by interfering in the unholy relationship she's having with the ex. She said so many things like her ex being tall and handsome,even denied ever broken up with him. To her,they never broke up,since as she argued, they didn't had any fight,quarrel, or even issues etc,that they just separated and so is not enough reasons for her not to be seeing and communicating with her ex. You are not alone on this bro
. Just take heart
Sorry my deae...happens....find a way n forgive her n try to win get over
Wat r u looking for???
Nigga. I guess you thought you played the other Nigga but found out you've been played. Doug. LOL.
But seriously. She don't love you. WORD.
Nigga. I guess you thought you played the other Nigga but found out you've been played. Doug. LOL.
But seriously. She don't love you. WORD.
Ure a fool with no words
Hahahaha...ehen! It's good to peep na
Nice!
I don't think you need to confront her what I think you need to do is to give her dat fairytale life d first man didn't give her before u knw it she is so much in love with you and will just forget d other man most people get married without loving each other d live may just come up along d way.try it
Really painful :-(
New for students!!!
Now you can create activities for students across Nigerian universities on the illash
network for free through illash students channel.
Your post will travel across campuses with so much ease.
Visit illash Network and sign up as a publisher to get started, or visit
the about me page to find out more about illash.
U r very very ryt. So y going into it at 1st?
This is small, what if your wife tells you she cause the day she met you. That even though you make her reach organism whenever you make love with her, that she closes her eyes to bear another man in her mind and enjoy herself
Very mature comment
Your mama bride price no waste
na wa ooo. tell her as it is in your heart becos communication is very vital in relationships esp. marriage. find out what still thrills her about her ex subtly, you never can tell...it might be little things you ignore which to you doesn't matter.
If na man na cursebubgondey curse oh
Man no dey get emotional changes
Double standards
Hmm! You may need to make her feel loved, not by saying I love u. Show her love by kissing her forehead, drop love notes, buy her flowers, under-wears, laugh, play and watch movies with her. As a husband, do not act as if you are her boss, help her out at home when you can and see if she will not delete her ex's contact from her phone. Love her and she will adore and worship you.
Really????read ur comments about cheating husbands......and dis is all u have to say??????
Double Standards
since you have put this story on public domain, it is likely she will know of this and would come to apologise to you. This is what killed my past relationship. My ex always kept in communication with her exes. I shooed her off my life for good cos she wasnt worth it bitch. Glad i did that from your story, now m happily married with kids.
Snooping on ur wife?????m sure u r unmarried.... U have a lot to learn
Best advise so far is from omokorede.... I believe he must have had a similar experienced before like me, anyway yours is better : my own was sexting with pictures........ me I died and came back. Being married 9years. Imagine we got to the end of our marriage and we are still together.but to be honeeeeest! !! I started it first and she found it on my phone more than 3times after I promised I have stopped. So she told me FIRST TO DO NO DEY PAIN I regretted my actions totally.......... so better to keep it to yourself bcos it was betray of trust on your part and plzzzzzzzz, never ever do that again!!
Test her trust also by, putting something on your phone that can affect her. If she asks you theeeen you can confront her also and then talk.That was what my wife did to me the third and last time.
Fredlaw,talk is cheap. That's why it's easier said than done.. what makes you feel it can't be settled? Do u know if she's been treated right @ all in her present marriage? Learn never to judge from afar.
set up a scenario whereby she discovers a letter from your ex telling her love for you and hoping that,sooner or later ,you will be together.Oberseve her reactions and if she doesn't seem hurt by that,split with her.If she questions you about the letter then confront her about her ex and shame her duplicity.
Ur wife isn't cheating on u ..just like men ,she's only deceiving him wid words
She is not sleeping with her ex, she just hasn't gotten over him. Men do much worse.
Personally I don't think I'll ever settle with a girl that already has a baby with someone else, except if the father of the baby is no longer alive. The baby will always be a point of contact between the two and before you know what's going on, that old fire will be rekindled again.
Again to the ladies, they should learn to deal properly with their past relationship before moving on to new and stop mixing up things. You will be in a mans house, another mans house go dey hungry, a man wey no even send u in the first place.
Trouble dey sleep Inyanga go wake am.
sorry bro! u are simply living with a devil!!!!!!
As a married woman also, I was in this kind of shoe at one time in my marriage.. long for my ex and wish I had been patient enough to have married him cos I belve he was more fun to be it, even though my parent were against our relationship then, and were happy I dint end up wit him.. we were mostly chatting, he was like a girlf that i cld talk to, seems he was not married.. but at time goes by, i realise i was doing a wrong thing, anytime he talked about d past,what I miss about him and tryin to compare himself wit my husband, i was not comfortable wit it anymore.. i myself was d one stop d communication but i know even i see him i wil never cheat on my husband physically but i am doing it in another way which is wrong.. give her time, she wil get over it by u loving her more.. I love my husband now more than ever
Nice comment coming from a 1st timer.seriously my advice is you go watch this season movie called "wat life stole from her"(1-13).then you would appreciate better what it means to win her over.you are just married for 2yrs,you've got all the time to make her forget her former love and cling to you like a niche for the rest of her life.am a woman and i know it is possible.all the best way
my brother,just be extremely careful because this lady in question does not have any feelings for you
she is just using you to while away time. If care is not taken she might be still sleeping around that her ex because ladies can be very funny and dangerous. If you are eating with the devil you need a long spoon.
Why not talk to her?
You seen her phone, tell her about it, discuss it and be frank with it. There is no point living with a woman who wishes she was with someone else and not you. Life is too beautiful to waste it on pretence.
Hello
my brother,most times in life unusual things do occurred. The fact is that this ladies you called your wife does not have any feelings for you, she is trying live a life of pretence.The simple truth is that she may be still seeing her ex. remember when dinning with the devil you need a longer spoon. because she may end up killing you and return to her ex.
I know how she feels. I dream about my ex almost every day. We had so much in common and he introduced me to good music, books and was very learned and suave. Genotype issues had to break up. My husband is not half the man he is.
Pls plz pls Mr man , whatever u do do not forgive her. if ur wife has the guts , the heart , to do something like this then trust me , she doesn't deserve u !
Relax your mind , call her people and your people to a VERY IMPORTANT family meeting , and calmly break it to them . Tell them u can no longer continue with the relationship ... Pls , stand ur ground , don't curse or swear at any one , just do ur thing and end the marriage as calmly as possible . do not tolerate indiscipline and infidelity .
A word is enough for the wise ...
God bless u .
BE AS CALM AS POSSIBLE
Because people want to escape the stigma of being unmarried among u people in Nigerian society. They don't want you Naija people to kill them with question about when they're getting married or look down on them as unmarried. THAT'S why they do it. And that stupid stigma is destroying homes. Until we change our mindset it will continue. Thank you
Lmao. U too funny.
Your wife is NOT unfaithful. She is only expressing herself naturally.
Love her more and pretend never to have seen the text; but on her birthday celebrate her with cake and goodies...............but don't forget to include a greeting card.
Inside the card, write the message as it is on her phone and put the date, and to whom she sent it to..................
WATCH OUT WHAT WOULD HAPPEN.
Confront her and let her know d consequences of Wat she did. Meanwhile tell her if she s not interested. U would file a divorce. No woman would love to leave her home
I'm with you 100000%
I swear, you're the man! It's not time to be emotional. Best comment I've read from the men here. Yes!
Loool
Onyx, for some unexplained reason, I like you (no strings attached). And I look forward to your comments.
This one cracked me up.
SAME THING HAPPENED TO ME SEVERAL YEARS AGO. MARRIED WITH CHILDREN. CHECKED HER PHONE AND BINGO! LOVE MESSAGES WITH SOMEONE ELSE.I TRIED TO GET THINGS BACK TOGETHER BUT IT DID NOT WORK OUT. WE ENDED UP GOING OUR SEPARATE WAYS. SHE WAS SO INTO HER EX. AFTER WE WENT APART SHE CONTINUED SEEING HIM.IT WAS REALLY SAD.THESE DAYS WOMEN ARE CHEATING MORE THAN THE MEN BUT THEY HIDE IT SO WELL AND THE MEN DO NOT KNOW UNTIL IT IS TOO LATE AT TIMES.
Good and decent advice
Tru tha!
I am in the same situation, everything is right except genotype. I really don't know what to do. If to just go ahead and hope for the best children-wise cos I don't want my children to be sick every time too. And I also don't want to be married to someone else and thinking of him everyday. What will you advise. I even don't mind adopting.
What is wrong with people this days ? I can't believe some of u are asking him to apologize for going through his wife's phone ,TF is that ? Your own wife ? Unbelievable!!
Pls plz Mr man whatever u do , do not forgive her . be calm . call your people and her people to a very imp family meeting , and break it to them. Don't confront her , don't fight her or curse her , just show your evidence to his pple and ur pple . end the marriage amicably .
A word is enough for the wise !
God bless u.
Sorry Dude @the second paragraph#
Some sense.
Really sad to think you have the container and not the content no one should ever live like tat...
The most outstanding and sensible comment here is this "truevinemedia@yahoo.com said...
I usually don't comment on LIB..but i had to address this...i think u need to win her over...the fact that you are married to her does'nt translate to automatic love..people say i do for various reasons...you need to get to the innermost part of heart...i know it hurt but getting heartbroken isn't the solution"
Please win your wife. Confront her with the situation but tell her you would like her to say the same things about you. Theres something that guy did right and honestly you need to make your wife love you like that. Have a very open conversation about it. Its definitely not the end of your marriage. BE STRONG
You just told a story from your own point of view, but I believe if your wife should say her own side of the story, she will have something to say about you that might have led to this story.
Bro, every relationship has it's up and downs. In relationship, we don't solve our issues/problems the same way we created them. Go to your wife and find out for yourself what is her problem, you might even be her problem or the curse of her problems who knows( in your attitude, behavior or character). Sometimes is very unfair to blame women for every wrong move they make when most of their actions, pains and plights are cursed by men.
Let me ask you a question, in what ways do you honor your wife? or don't you think she need to honored just like you want her to honor and respect you? It is very easy to tell the world what she has done wrong and it is also a shame on you to tell the whole world what is happening in your relationship because you might not get a better advice, many will make a story out of you and mock you instead. What about her good sides, have you told the world yet? or she's without any good side? Before you married her I believe she was your best among many.
Let no one deceive you, everything desired in a relationship is practical and workable.To bring your wife to where you want her to be in your relationship is to overlook her bad side and build a bigger and real love for her, try as much as you can to stop digging into her affairs or her past life, you will be doing yourself a lot of good. Occupy her life with your love and her love with your life for love covers multitude of sin.
She might be a weak woman, Please, support, encourage and always dialogue with her, don't be quick to judge.
Maturity lives in our attitude and not in our actions, actions are uncertain.
I am so heartbroken for you my brother, i feel your pains bro. Nothing can be worst than this especially if you are a good and faithful husband. Just take it easy and talk to her about it, let her understand how deeply it hurt and if you truly love her forgive her and find a way to move on because marriage as they say is no picnic its lots of work. And if you are unsure about your love towards her you can take some time off to think and reflect. it will also give her the time to realize the kind of damage she may have caused and she may want to save her marriage by not repeating the same mistake again. I wish you the best.
Would you caris Wooler let it go?
Eyah, sori
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