Dear LIB readers: I was raped in school and now it's come back to haunt me
From a female LIB reader
I'm in a big mess, and I don't know how to get out of this...here is my story. About Seven years ago, when I was still in the University, I did
something very stupid and childish and I paid dearly for it, and right
now its looks like the ghost of the past has come back to haunt me.
I
was in my 2nd year in school when I met Tosin (not real name) she was my
Roomie that year and we became quite close. She was dating this cool
guy who bought her so many things and took her to the coolest parties,
despite our (the girls in the hostel room) plea to meet her boo, she
refused, saying girls are not to be trusted. After about seven months of dating him, she entered the room this particular day crying...continue...
...telling us
how she caught the guy with another girl. She cried for days, she was
devastated. Then she came up with this ridiculous idea of setting the
guy up and treating his f**k up. I was picked to be the bait, because I
was the innocent and quiet one. I collected the guy's phone number and
he fell for the sweet voice. That was how Jide and I started our relationship but it was a Revengetionship on my part. The deal was to make him
fall for me and then I dump him. Jide was sweet to me, but I never allowed him to come see me in school, and once he found out that I was a
virgin, oh he treated me like I was the rarest of all gems. After about four months of this charade, He found out the connection between Tosin and I, and to say he was angry is an understatement. He called me names and we
went our separate ways. He was hurt and this was good news for Tosin.
Six months later, I met this wonderful guy, Frank. He was so smooth and jovial, he charmed me and we started dating. After about three months,
on this particular day, I got a call from Frank, he told me he was not
feeling fine that I should quickly come over. Like every young lady in
love, I dashed down to his house, but to my surprise, I met Frank
playing scrabbles with two of his friends, looking quite healthy. He
told me he just wanted to see my face. I sat down and watched them play
for some minutes, then the door bell rang, and to my utmost mortification, Jide strolled in. It was at that moment that I knew I was
in deep mess. To cut it short, my virginity was taken in a brutal way. I was raped by Jide, Frank and their two friends, I was then warned never
to breathe a word to the police about it or they will kill me. I went
back to the hostel and Tosin was the only one who knew about it, she was
my rock and anchor, and she kept apologizing for putting me in the mess.
We finished school and everyone went their separate ways.
Ever since the incident, I was not interested in men or any
relationship, I kept to myself, focused on my future, I got a Job with a
Telecommunications company and all was well in my world. Then early last
year, I met this amazing guy, who gave me a reason to love again. Oh he
loves me, and I love him too. Three months ago, he proposed and I accepted. It was that time that I found out that he is Tosin's very close cousin,
Since then, Tosin has been threatening to tell him about the rape, that I should leave his cousin alone. She said if I don't, she will tell my fiance's family. I was shocked. She was the reason I went through all
that, and she is threatening to take the little happiness I just found
away from me again. I'm confused, I'm angry, I'm sad. I don't want to
lose my man. I accept that I was stupid back then but I've paid dearly for
it. Should I be deprived of this too? Someone please help!
Being frigid is an aftermath of rape, I feel victims should open up about their experiences however sad it was so they can get help in good time(early too).
You know what to do to a blackmailer to take the power away from him/her? Lay it all out on the table. Tell your fiance all about it and let him decide. *hugs*
It's no fault of yours. Tell your fiance and if he loves you, he will stick with you. Am I fezz to comment? Thank you Linda, thank you amadioha my ancestors. Thank you to our troops in Borno and above all, thank you Jesus
My advice to you is to come clean first and explain everything to him, make sure you don't leave any details out including the threats and blackmail by ur so called ex friend! If he truly loves you, he'll appreciate your honesty and bravery in being the first to tell him, make it clear that he deserves to know and deserve to hear it first from you. If it's meant to be, he'll love u regardless and if he walks away then it's better now than later and it's also better than living under constant threats!
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm wat a stroy and tank god u knew u were wrong den, well my advice 2 u is to pray about it and tell ur man everything, den leave the rest 4 God 2 finish 4 u, d heart of human is wicked so dear pls come clean 2 ur man, if his urs he would look beyond the whole stroy, and pls continue 2 pray about it. its well with u dear stay blessed.
My dear, if you truly love this guy & he loves you as much as you believe he does the best thing to do is to tell him the whole truth. If he cant accept you now that you've moved past that history and built a life for yourself then he'll never accept you & you'll know your stand. If you keep it from him and he discovers, then you'll have yourself to blame cos he'll probably never trust you ever again. Do you want to risk that? All that happened is in the past & I commend you for taking out time to heal, grow and still believe in love.
I'm sure as we speak now Tosin has moved on and is happy with another guy, Jide and his friends also might have found other girls they're deeply in love with. So why should you be at the receiving end,why would you have to loose twice. You have to be happy for you,its your life and no one can help you or treat you right better than you. You have to love again,love is not to blame for what happened to you,you were never in love with Jide,now love is here. If the new guy truly love you,give him a chance to prove it,don't let the opportunity pass you by. Else he might go and when you finally decide to fall in love,you might be left with only another Jide.
I urge you to please tell your man. With all honesty it wasn't your fault you were raped. It was a result of being a ride or die friend to the ungrateful senseless Tosin. please tell him . truth is if you don't she will so you might as well. if he is going to know anyhow...it should at least be from you, he deserves that . Pray about it before you tell him and if he doesn't understand he is stupid I don't know which world him and Tosin come from that being raped is ur fault. That is stupid. Be free Honey. You're inlove with a man and yet you have this secret imagine if you tell him and you're free to love him without anything hidden. It is an amazing feeling. Trust me
That your friend if just a selfish idiot. After making you go through so many things and now she does not want her cousin to marry. The Lord will see you through, just ask him to help you.
You need to sit him down and be honest with him. Tell him everything objectively. Don't even tell him the friend in question is Tosin his cousin. Tell him that you would rather keep this to yourself but considering how important he is to you and the rest of your lives you have decided to tell him.
If he truly loves you, he will stand by you. If he doesn't, then he doesn't deserve you.
Now you can see how much of a rock Tosin really is to you. Please learn and be wise. Thanks for sharing so other young girls can learn. Wishing you all the best in life.
If you believe that God can touch the heart of even the most hardened person,then He will do it for you. Just pray about it,telling God what you want and then sit your fiancee down and tell him the whole story cos relationship especially marriage needs to be build on trust. Explain the details and even the threat of your friend Tosin to him and by God's grace all things will work for you and you will smile again. Let your faith carry you.God bless you.
Not sure if anything has ever irritated me as much this post!!! Sorry dear, you were stupid, yes and kind of still stupid. Please tell ur fiance the sad story and infact, let ur tosin friend be right their when you are telling him (ok, she doesnt have to be their). What if one of them idiots even knows him and tells him, why put ur life in bondage to start with?!
My dear I know is not easy but for meoooo will prefer you tell the boy, is better to hear from your mouth than someone else, it is better from u he will listen to u than the way outsider or this own family member will tell him. So open up to him u can't hide it forever so tell him so that when the cousin does he will know how to handle it. CHI.
This is no big deal for me. If the guy truly luvs u as u say den he should be able to understand wat happened and move on unless u told him u are virgin or u are having any STD. Its rape nd its not ur fault. And as for De Tosin: goes a long way to show how heartless gals can be.
D Tosin girl is Jst jealous of u dat u've finally gotten someone dat will marry u. Jst tell d whole story to ur finace and I'm very sure if he truly loves u he will understand. Dat Tosin girl is very stupid Dats hw friends hw never to be trusted.
Really sorry for your ordeal and I must say, Tosin is an evil witch for threatening to use your past against you. Despite the fact that everything that happened is her fault. You should tell your man what happened and the role Tosin played in the whole game before she gets to him first. If he really loves you, he'll write it off as what it is. A mistake that's in your past and wasn't your fault. We all make mistakes and I'd bet he has done things he's not proud of as well. Just tell him yourself.
I will advise u tell ur fiance first b4 she does. Let him know that it happened becos of her. Some friends could be so wicked and calous. And be prayerful.
Hian! Let her tell him now. Shuo. You what are u waiting for? Mouth dey pain u? U no fit talk? Why is it a secret? Why are u keeping it away from someone you are about to marry? Or is there something you haven't mentioned?
Hmmm...you should sit him down and calmly tell him you were once a victim of rape. Tell him the whole truth, and if he loves you as you think he does, he'll stick around and put your frienemy to shame. But if the story you wrote is by no means the complete tale then OYO is your surname.
My dear, to err is human, u have made a mistake in the past and u are done and over with it, never dwell in the mess simply move on. Thank God you have found love again, I will advise that you tell your fiancee about the rape incident, anything could still come up in the future that will warrant your soon to be husband to find out, imagine some kind of fertility issue arises later in your union, what happens? Tell ur fiancee and be done with the useless blackmail.
My dear tell the guy urself before she will do it...be honest with him. U were childish before ,tell him... Whatever is the outcome u will still find happiness ... Don't let Tosin destroy u... That stupid bitch
almost every girl has been raped at some point in life, you cannot deprive yourself of love just because your ungrateful "anchor" threatens to to tell what? please!!!!!! what you need to do is invite you man to someplace really quiet and airy and tell him everything there. Before you go however make sure you prepare him for the news. you could say you want to keep nothing from him as you two are getting married soon. you want to tell him something no one knows except one person not even your family (the identity of the person would only be reveled when you have given him the story) now he will be the next. if he really loves you honey he will marry you. who is TOSIN???
Open up to the guy, by letting him know ur past life, b4 it's late. If he genuinely loves you, don't think he would take a walk. After all nobody is perfact.
this is no issue at all as far as i am concerned, all you need to do is, call ur man to a quiet place may be a garden or a lake, open up to him, tell him every thing without missing words, if he loves u he would stay with you. if he leaves, my dear dust ur feet and wait for ur man. besides how many men has the so called Tosin slept with? how many girls has ur friend slept with too? tell him every every at least u didnt get pregnant or abort a child, u didnt contact any STD or HIV, u were just a victim or stupid RAGE.. as dey say revenge is best served cold... but this Jide guy has mind and patience oh, 9months just to revenge. na wa oh for people oh....
from what i read in your post. you dont anything to worry about. your case is explainable to ur guy. everyone has a past and an what they might still be indulging in. no one is a saint. yu helped her and became trhe the victim. shes the devil. try and talk with ur guy before she does. win his mind before someone esle does.
See no need to be confused, just call ur fiance sit him down and tell him everything trust me it'll workout in your favour the end. Don't waste time tell him everything that happened period.
Your story is definitely a movie-like experience. Well, i really don't need to say that was you did was wrong and what ALL the guys was wrongier but you later became the wrongiest by trusting your friend that much and allowing her to use you.
If YOUR man actually loves you as you said and you love him too, I think the best option is to be THE FIRST to tell him.
Be ready for him to threat an end of the relationship but I guess its better than him hearing it for your TO SIN of a friend.
You need to open up and tell Ur man everything. Its risky but if he as sweet as you say, he will understand. But don't let him get the gist from another person.
madam, you were raped, so tell him the whole truth not exempting any little info. it pays to tell the truth. at least there was no child or something.if he truely loves you, he ll stay. who knows, ay of those guys could come out and be ur man's friend or family sef.
this is no issue at all as far as i am concerned, all you need to do is, call ur man to a quiet place may be a garden or a lake, open up to him, tell him every thing without missing words, if he loves u he would stay with you. if he leaves, my dear dust ur feet and wait for ur man. besides how many men has the so called Tosin slept with? how many girls has ur friend slept with too? tell him every every at least u didnt get pregnant or abort a child, u didnt contact any STD or HIV, u were just a victim or stupid RAGE.. as dey say revenge is best served cold... but this Jide guy has mind and patience oh, 9months just to revenge. na wa oh for people oh....
this is no issue at all as far as i am concerned, all you need to do is, call ur man to a quiet place may be a garden or a lake, open up to him, tell him every thing without missing words, if he loves u he would stay with you. if he leaves, my dear dust ur feet and wait for ur man. besides how many men has the so called Tosin slept with? how many girls has ur friend slept with too? tell him every every at least u didnt get pregnant or abort a child, u didnt contact any STD or HIV, u were just a victim or stupid RAGE.. as dey say revenge is best served cold... but this Jide guy has mind and patience oh, 9months just to revenge. na wa oh for people oh....
I think u shd jst go ahead and tell your fiance the truth...if Tosin does so b4 u do,things would get worse for you and you'l be more sad and confused cos he'd begin to doubt everything u've ever told him since you guys started dating! My opinion
My Sister, I felt emotionally touched for your ordeal. My candid advice for you, is that, you have got to face your guy in the eye and tell him the simple truth about your past before your friend Tosin let the cat out of the bag.I hope your guy will understand better when he hears the truth from you than from Tosin.
Honey you have to sit ur man down and tell him everything..even apologize for not tellin him earlier..tell him every damn thing including the cousin(tosin's)part..it's better that way..remember it was in the past and you were young and naive..if he truly loves u he won't walk becoz of that,and if he does,girl throw him a deuce sign and flip ur hair/weave and walk..it's his loss not urs..but first pray to God before the "talk"..good luck girl..x
Open the Can of worms to your guy.If he truly luv you,he'll still go ahead and marry you.You can't continue bottling this up.Someday he will find out and your regret will be worse than what you're experiencing today.Stay strong
My dear pray about it and ask God to direct u to disclose it to ur husband to be it's difficult I know but it's better he gets to know frm u than his cousin who might add her own false story to d incident. Don't be surprised that he will still love u if he is ur true husband who has found favour b4 the Lord to be ur better half. Be strong in ur faith God will not forsake u dear
this is the first time i am going to comment.it's a simple case.it was not your fault that u were raped and u would have still lost your virginity in another way so the best is to tell your boy friend this same story and every i believe he will just be angry for not telling him early.u commited no crime and so you don't need to be scared.be bold and tell him.getting raped is not a sin u were just unlucky to be a victim.be happy and tell ur boy friend then put everything behind u.
It is a good thing, let her tell on you! You should walk into this relationship with all your cards on the table. You were probably gonna go into the relationship not letting your guy know you had being raped, now he will find out instead of having to wait till the future! If Tosin tells on you, she is snitching on herself too.
Tell your man the truth. Tell him everything that happened, if he truly love you he will stand by you. You did nothing wrong to the so called Tosin. So God will fight your battle for you and put her to shame.
It is sad that you have found yourself in this situation. However, my advice -whilst many other readers would not agree- would be to sit your man down and tell him the truth. If he truly loves you, he would look past the issue and focus on what binds you two -love. Goodluck.
I tink u should jst tell ur fiance d whole story and let him decide. D Tosin girl is rily heartless! If ur fiance rily luvs un and he's meant 4 u, he won't judge u based on ur past! Goodluck!
Hey, you put this on yourself alright ... Not the fact that you were raped or all that childish issues, the fact that you did not tell this dude about your past before you'all fell in-love.
Hey, tell him about it, cause if you don't now, it might not be Tosin anymore, but something else will hunt you regarding...
tell such stories of ur past to ur guy,,in disguise of urself n name,, then ask 4 ur guy's opinion, wat ever he tells u to do,,jst do it in sincerity,,then open up to him,,,
The Lord is your strength. Tell your m man the truth. If he is the one that God has chosen for you, he wil forgive you. If he does not then he is not the right one for you
Tell him YOURSELF!!! Babe, if he decides to leave you because of that then so be it. At least you have been open and have a chance... On the other hand, if he hears about it from someone else; he will definitely feel betrayed and you might not have a chance then. That's my honest opinion; the truth will set you free...
Let her go ahead and tell him why are you scared unless all you are saying here is not the truth Tosin knows somethings about you that you didn't write down. Come out plainly so we know how well to advice you
My dear tell the guy about d rape. If he loves u, he will stays. This is something you would have told him since. I was raped @ 16 years wen I met my husband I told him it n he still married me. Is not a big deal. if ur my is a child n doesn't have past That were u will have problems
Now ure in a shitationship.........u made a terrible mistake nt to report them at the veri beginning..it goes to show u needed the banging too,,cool u have a foursome, u should tell her cousin ur sexcapade to be on a safer side.
Please go ahead and tell the guy the story before your friend Tosin did. Tell the guy nothing but the truth of the whole matter. and you will be surprise if the guy truly love you the guy wld by himself put Tosin to shame.
my dear u shud tell ur boyfrnd abt it b4 she has d chance to do so...if u dnt n she eventually tells him, he wont b able to trust u again. btw dat ur frnd is a selfish and wicked frnd n she wld get wat she deserves.
Hello dear, this is my first comment on LIB since I have been a fan. My name is M.O.R and I think I can help you. Kindly get in touch with me via konnektors@gmail.com You will not lose your man neither will your friends threat amount to anything. Let's talk when you can.
my dear u shud tell ur boyfrnd abt it b4 she has d chance to do so...if u dnt n she eventually tells him, he wont b able to trust u again. btw dat ur frnd is a selfish and wicked frnd n she wld get wat she deserves.
Tell your fiance, before she tells him. This backwards mentality is why people are still getting raped in Nigeria. it's never anyone's fault for getting raped.
So sorry abt what happen back then, bt as 4 tosin let her go ahead nd tell he's cousin, bt be 4 then tell ur man first tell him what happen, what's ur own is ur own no matter what tosin do, tosin is a mad idiot
my dear are you not a christian, pray to God about it, that is for sake your sins and ask for forgiveness. Tell God to give you a man that will marry you no matter your past. Another thing is, since both of you are truely in love open up to him and let him know all that transpired and if he is truely yours he will stand by you . After all there is no one without a past.best of luck, dont be sad for God will make a way for you.
This is just stupid and unacceptable. This is why people get away with rape. Can't you tell your boyfriend? You got raped as a virgin and you couldn't even report it
This is the mistake most women make. Why did you not inform the guy about this when you knew the relationship was already serious. Its always good to avoid this situations early. Anyways the deed has already been done. The best thing is to inform the guy about what happened, or to make it easy for Tosin, why not call all your Fiance's family members excluding Tosin, sit them down and inform them what happened. That is my suggestion.
take this and thank me later. Tell your fiance about the rape yourself. trust me he will marry you if your snitch ass friend doesnt break the news before you. you should have told him before now though but its not late yet. Do it now! and be including ure to tell him the role his couse (tosin) played in the whole scenario, including how she threatened to expose u. apologize for concealing it all these while
So sorry abt what happen back then, bt as 4 tosin let her go ahead nd tell he's cousin, bt be 4 then tell ur man first tell him what happen, what's ur own is ur own no matter what tosin do, tosin is a mad idiot
take this and thank me later. Tell your fiance about the rape yourself. trust me he will marry you if your snitch ass friend doesnt break the news before you. you should have told him before now though but its not late yet. Do it now! and be including ure to tell him the role his couse (tosin) played in the whole scenario, including how she threatened to expose u.
Tell ur man the simple truth. If he accepts you that way, den you hav nothing to fear cos he will defend you before his family.. Don't wait for your friend to break d news to him.. You wil regret that. The truth will always come out, if you keep on hiding it...
let her tell...if your man is worth it emotionally he will share your pain...if he is not? let him go. its high time people become open with their rape stories.and stop feeling bad for something you dint help bring upon yourself. you were raped and that is the real crime and injustice.SUFFER NO MORE
First I wld say you should have told your present bf about your past.Being raped is not something that goes off ur mind easily,it wl always haunt you.we all have our past and u jst have to move on.our past life should not limit us to what we aim for.And as for your friend I don't think she is a good friend even from the onset,and that was why it was easy for her to use you as a bait,dat was too stupid a step to take.You don't have to beg her,if she decides to tell you bf,so be it.if he loves you he wl accept you still no matter what
i feel sorry for you boo. i suggest you tell your man the whole stroy. you will bwe shocked how understanding he will be, that is if he truly loves you. we all have our stories. i almost fell for the same "revengeship" palava. i am such a people pleaser so i volunteered myself. God just saved me. Dont worry you will be fine. Pray, open up to ur future husband and peace!
Give me Tosins phone number> In three days, she will not be worrying about you. I m just going to sell her some beautiful non existing ideas that ll blow her away. Are you willing to mail me on adanaegbuazu@gmail.com
Give me Tosins phone number> In three days, she will not be worrying about you. I m just going to sell her some beautiful non existing ideas that ll blow her away. Are you willing to mail me on adanaegbuazu@gmail.com
let her tell...if your man is worth it emotionally he will share your pain...if he is not? let him go. its high time people become open with their rape stories.and stop feeling bad for something you dint help bring upon yourself. you were raped and that is the real crime and injustice.SUFFER NO MORE
Dear, there is no reason to fidget even if your friend insists on making live her threat.
You were raped and there's no question about it. It wasn't an act envisaged nor wasn't one that could question your responsibleness. You were a virgin and that was unfortunately lost; it was not by your flirtation rather by an orchestrated desire to gratify lasciviousness by unbridled perverts.
That is no fault of yours.
People are always victims of the evil of rape, and that should not be enough basis to discredit or call the bluff with them in a relationship. That someone u loves was raped, to me should not be reason at all to diss them.
So, allow Tosin do her sinister wish. If your friend makes good her threat and your fiance is quick to work on it, he must have acted irrationally and that should suggest that there was no love, ab initio.
Move on will your life and don't let the scar linger. It doesn't.
My dear thats rubbısh... Go ahead and tell hım yourself ıf you love hım. Everyone has a dırty past...ıf he truely love(s) u,he's goıng to blame hıs cousın sıster and he mıght even tell you hıs own dırt past. Trust me ıts nt an ıssue u should be scared of. He came ınto your lıfe to gıve you happıness and not sorrow. Its better he hears ıt from you cos you can explaın better...than hım hearıng ıt from her mıssed wıth lıes.
Hey girl! First things first, ask God for forgiveness, He promised to forgive you. Forgive yourself, it's in the past. The best way out of a blackmail, is to tell yourself. No matter how hard it is, the best way is to tell your fiance yourself, and the earlier the better, before Tosin does. Trust me, if he truly loves you, he look past it. If he doesn't he's not worth your tears.
I remember this superstory!!! A blast from the past. To me, I wil advise you tell ur man everything before anoda person did. If he loves u, he wil stay wit u. I told my fiance abt d abortion I had wit my ex and I can bet u he accepted me coz he blivs everybody has a past.
u shld ve tld him abt wat happened to u, there's nothing to be ashamed of.u were d victim ,so tell him now,if he really loves u he'll stay, cos it will hurt him more if he hears it frm sum1 else or if u leave him cos of pressure frm ur former roommate without any explanation
Young lady u were a victim of rape! You did absolutely nothing to deserve being raped. Tell your fiance the entire story and if he rejects you then he isn't worth it. Yes you played silly games but NOONE DESERVES TO BE RAPED!
I think u ave to copy dis whole story and make it an oral presentation to your fiance. Past is part of our cross to carry, we must surely deal wit it when it comes around. Take mine and ignore d rest.
My dear, your story touched me and I had to comment. Please tell him what you've just wrote above. Tell him EVERYTHING. If he's yours, he will stick with you and Tosin will be put to shame.
she is stupid, tell him thou and get it off ur chest, if he loves you he would stay, if he doesn't, good riddance. truth be told, nothing is hidden under sun, at least not such stories as the connections are to close. The lord be with you
Dunno what to say Buh the gal shld just open up to her guy about the whole thing The guy might understand Cuz the next thing that will happen is a blackmail Some guys can be wicked
we all make mistakes..........Tosin is stupid for doing such to you after wat she made you go thru.....my 2cent advise is for you to tell him yourself and leave him to decide if he truly loves you despite wat has happened to u in the past!
This is a lesson.Don't be a partaker of evil cos if anything happens,those u did it for or with will abandon u.Well,I'd advice u to ur her cousin everything that happened before she does if he truly loves u,he will stick with u.
open up 2 ur man and tell him all abt ur past esp d 'rape', if he truly loves u he will understand. And pls don't 4get 2 mentioned dat d rape happened becos of 'Tosin'
Dnt be Silly my dear... Call ur guy and tell him an indirect story abt u. Start with its a girl you know and ask him what he thinks of the situation and see what his reaction will be before telling him it was you.
Tell him every single thing, & cry well well.. Tell him u dint tell him before cause you've been trying to block it out of your memory and don't mention it as it is like reliving it. But when his cousin threatened to tell him, you thought it would be best coming from you, so he could know the true story.
It was years ago, it shouldn't matter coz it has nothing to do with him or your relationship with him. and besides, it was his cousin that put you in that mess in the first place, he should know the sort of witch she is.
If you are afraid to tell him, send him a letter or a voice note . So e times its better to send people letters, so they process all the information and think about what they want to say before they reply.
And if he rejects you after that, then he's an oloshi and YOU just dodged a bullet by not marrying him...
I hope this helps, let us know what happens... Good luck
That Tosin must be a very bitchy person! Som girls tho! Be brave babe! Tell d guy urself if he really loves u he's gonna understand and even stick up for u when necessary! Tell ur man b4 he finds out hmself.. av it in mind that if u two are meant to be Nothng is gonna change it and vice-versa! Goodluck!
Hmmm, A blast from the past. Itz beta u tell him everything that happened to u in the past urself, if he loves u, he wil def accept u. I told my fiance abt d abortion I had in my previous relationship and he accepted me coz he blivs dat there is nobody dat doesn't have a past. Itz just dat its different.
one would think the rape incident had made you wiser and stronger? Its annoyingly obvious that this "Tosin" girl had and still has a major hold on you.
If you were mature enough to understand... I feel the best thing would be that you tell him before she does, cos trust me she aint gonna paint no nice picture, and since she has always been his blood thats definitely gonna carry more weight sugar...
And on another note, I strongly suggest U let everything that connects you to her go (including ur love), cos inevitably speaking a fruit does not fall far from the tree...I sense more than just this episode coming your way..
mmmmm, dis is a very dicey situation .buh i will advice u 2 invite ur man and xplain tinz 2 him witout hideing any tin and i blive he will understand and don't 4get 2 pray abt it first . Linda pls post my comment
My advise to you is to open up to your man, I believe this will make him love you the more. It is better to hear it from you than some other person else. Yours were four(4) persons that slept with you, who knows how many men that have slept with that your so called friend that is threatening to expose you?.
wel i guess u shuld just tell ur fiance about the whole thing. thou its not goin to b so easy but if he truely loves you he shuld understand nd forgive u.
Hello I feel your pain. How about Instead of loosing this awesome guy just like that. How about you sit him down and tell him your story. If he truely loves you he will stay and if he cant then let him go. Come on. Thats the best thing to do.
Human beings can be so callous. My advice: Tell him before that your evil friend does. If he agrees to stay with you, fine. If he doesn't, fine. You'll find someone else at the right time.
the right thing to do is to open up to your man, abt your past, if you both wia really meant to be he will understand it as your past, but if he doesnt den u move on, meaning he's not d right person for you.
you need to tell your fiancee about the situation yourself ... before anyone does ... if he doesnt accept you for it then he wasnt the man for you ... trust me there will be someone else out there..
tosin is wrong for holding this over you but you should have told you bf about it from the start..
Pls if u dnt have contacts I will gladly link u up..dis ur story will be a nollywood blockbuster..wat goes around comes around..u are a bitch and u will get exactly wat u deserve..As for ur frnd tosin giv her rat poison..U are looking for happiness u are funny dis is jst d beginning..nxt tym u stupid gals wont plot wit ur frnds for revenge....................................#KingOfKings
Small world mehn!.....I feel u shld just tell ur man abt it,cos if tosin shld tell him,he'll b disappointed dat u kept such secret 4rm him...bt if u tell him nd he says he aint interested in d rltnshp anymore, den he dsnt luv u,if he's truly meant 4u,he'll stay...4get tosin's threat..jst tell him urself!
Tell him the f**king truth...if he stays Fyn, if he doesn't all the better. Also, u should get ur friend arrested so u can start the process of getting those guys arrested as well cos something aby this story jst sounds shady.
If i were u,i will tell him everything dat happened,i will also let him kn it was his cousin dat put u thru all dat happened,if his urs he would stay nd if he's nt let him go ur own man will come
Tosin is wicked to me ! She should reward you with her brother and not ,make you suffer again , my advice is that you tell your man the whole thing by yourself .
swity d best advice I will give u is to tell him before she does. face it, dat was ur past face d future right nw or u will always regret it for d rest of ur life. if d guy loves u my dear he will think about it and come back. what is urs will always be urs no matter wat anyone says or think.
swity d best advice I will give u is to tell him before she does. face it, dat was ur past face d future right nw or u will always regret it for d rest of ur life. if d guy loves u my dear he will think about it and come back. what is urs will always be urs no matter wat anyone says or think.
my dear friend, i will advise u to tell ur man. i mean everything, from hw u got involved to hw u were reaped. if he truly loves u. he will understand it from ur angle. duo it will hurt him but i believe things will be fine. brass up dear. i feel u.
Dear Girl, so sorry about your situation. My candid advise is that you immediately call your boyfriend's attention to the situation. Go on your kneels and tell him the whole truth, please do not hide anything at this stage. Also tell him that his cousin is threatening you. It is better for him to hear all these from you than from anyone else. Whatever decision he makes then that is left to him.
My darling do not let anyone give you a sleepless night. I feel all your pain. I pray God fixes this situation for you if it is meant to be for you and if not I pray He gives you the bone of your bone and the flesh of your flesh.
So sorry my dear, in my own lil advise, i think u shld call ur man and tell him abt the whole scenario... since u were naive dt time...Wish u all d best.
First of, I just want to say that this Tosin babe is a biatch.Plus why are your relationship highs/woes kinda connected to her sef? Secondly, DO NOT give Tosin the satisfaction of telling him your story. Tell it to him yourself and hope for the best while bracing yourself for the worst. The Lord will allow that which is best for you both to happen as concerns his decision after you tell him.
Tosin is a very stupid girl,don't worry,she would meet her doom elsewhere. the mistake u made is not mentioning the rape to ur guy. the solution now is just tell the girl the truth as u posted it here,if he for u,he would stay.
My advise is that you should tell ur man everything n I have a feeling that Tosin isn't a friend for using such sad experience to try n snatch ur happiness away. If ur man loves u he would stay but also don't expect him to just swallow it all with calm but try n tell him before Tosin does. At least not that u have one deadly disease or did abortion. I pray u find ur happiness at the end of it all. J.O.E
oouch..sad story :-( .d ryt tin to do is jes tell ur him ..u shud av said so frm d beginnin b4 gettin too attached... nw it wud be difficult buh u cnt hide dt fct frm him..accept woteva comes frm it
Kai my dear sister. I dont want to judge you but I must say you are a strong person. As in I cant even do what you did. The guy will catch me from day one that I was up to something. In this case, my only advice is tell the guy what happened, if he really loves you then he will stick with you. If you dont, Tosin will tell him. Either way you will loose out. If you end up loosing the guy then let it be. Men nefa finish for this world. Does it mean that rape victims wont marry again biko? And besides, stop being friends with Tosin. She is a dangerous person.
Hello dear, I understand how you feel and of course you have paid the price. What I would have expected from you is to have being so transparent with your boo and so this shouldn't be a problem. I think you should tell him all about your past and if he truly loves you, no Jupiter can stop it! NOT EVEN TOSIN!!! Goodluck!
You are most to be pitied, "the Devil u know is better than the angel u don't know" People who are friends dependent, are always victim of this kind of predicament. The friend u so much believed in and vehemently fought for, that cost u your virginity has turned to be ur worst enemy. But the situation is not out of control yet, if only u will muster up boldness to do what i want to tell you now. If ur man hear the story from ur first consider it a lost battle. Go to ur man first and narrate d story to him, u were a victim of circumstances, if he truly loves, though, he may feel bad at first, he will love u the more for been frank or truthful. i for one will marry a repentant prostitute who confesses her sins and leave them than a lady who profess to be a virgin, which later turn out to be lie.
hmmmmm school days live ! I think you should open up to the guy some secret are not even wht keepin in relationship, if d guy geniunely love u dat woudn't be a prob.
Hmmmm nawa oooo dat Tosin is heartless and Jide is callous. You see why its never a good idea to put yourself in d middle of someone else's wahala cuz it will come crashing on u.
I advise d babe to tell her fiance. If he truly loves her, he will stay. If not, then it just wasn't meant to be.
622 comments:
1 – 200 of 622 Newer› Newest»Being frigid is an aftermath of rape, I feel victims should open up about their experiences however sad it was so they can get help in good time(early too).
If you are sincere, why didn't you tell the guy in the first place...
Bad friend
Stupid is an understatement for you...Sorry for you!
You know what to do to a blackmailer to take the power away from him/her? Lay it all out on the table. Tell your fiance all about it and let him decide. *hugs*
Tell him what happened if he truly loves you like he said he'll stay. Best wishes.
It's no fault of yours. Tell your fiance and if he loves you, he will stick with you.
Am I fezz to comment?
Thank you Linda, thank you amadioha my ancestors. Thank you to our troops in Borno and above all, thank you Jesus
Simple!!! Confess to ur man...its in ur past. if he loves you ,he'll stand by you.#from experience#
Wow gal tell ur man abt it if he is ur man he wil stay dnt b scared as 4 tosin she is so stupid cos she cause It ~ice princess~
Hello Babe,
Sorry you had to go through all that. Please call you guy and tell him about it and how it all happened.
My advice to you is to come clean first and explain everything to him, make sure you don't leave any details out including the threats and blackmail by ur so called ex friend! If he truly loves you, he'll appreciate your honesty and bravery in being the first to tell him, make it clear that he deserves to know and deserve to hear it first from you. If it's meant to be, he'll love u regardless and if he walks away then it's better now than later and it's also better than living under constant threats!
Hello Babe,
Sorry you had to go through all that. Please call you guy and tell him about it and how it all happened.
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm wat a stroy and tank god u knew u were wrong den, well my advice 2 u is to pray about it and tell ur man everything, den leave the rest 4 God 2 finish 4 u, d heart of human is wicked so dear pls come clean 2 ur man, if his urs he would look beyond the whole stroy, and pls continue 2 pray about it. its well with u dear stay blessed.
Wot u shld do is this don't b scared talk 2 ur guy abt it explain everytin to Him,.... Friends x10 ......
Wot u shld do is this don't b scared talk 2 ur guy abt it explain everytin to Him,.... Friends x10 ......
My dear, if you truly love this guy & he loves you as much as you believe he does the best thing to do is to tell him the whole truth.
If he cant accept you now that you've moved past that history and built a life for yourself then he'll never accept you & you'll know your stand. If you keep it from him and he discovers, then you'll have yourself to blame cos he'll probably never trust you ever again. Do you want to risk that? All that happened is in the past & I commend you for taking out time to heal, grow and still believe in love.
I'm sure as we speak now Tosin has moved on and is happy with another guy, Jide and his friends also might have found other girls they're deeply in love with.
So why should you be at the receiving end,why would you have to loose twice.
You have to be happy for you,its your life and no one can help you or treat you right better than you.
You have to love again,love is not to blame for what happened to you,you were never in love with Jide,now love is here. If the new guy truly love you,give him a chance to prove it,don't let the opportunity pass you by. Else he might go and when you finally decide to fall in love,you might be left with only another Jide.
~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA LUMIA
Sori
@poster so sorry about your ordeal...u need to talk to a counsel
Visit my blog
www.glowysofiscated.blogspot.com
I urge you to please tell your man. With all honesty it wasn't your fault you were raped. It was a result of being a ride or die friend to the ungrateful senseless Tosin. please tell him . truth is if you don't she will so you might as well. if he is going to know anyhow...it should at least be from you, he deserves that . Pray about it before you tell him and if he doesn't understand he is stupid I don't know which world him and Tosin come from that being raped is ur fault. That is stupid. Be free Honey. You're inlove with a man and yet you have this secret imagine if you tell him and you're free to love him without anything hidden. It is an amazing feeling. Trust me
this should be a movie, very interesting...
That your friend if just a selfish idiot. After making you go through so many things and now she does not want her cousin to marry. The Lord will see you through, just ask him to help you.
You should have told your man already by now.
You need to sit him down and be honest with him. Tell him everything objectively. Don't even tell him the friend in question is Tosin his cousin. Tell him that you would rather keep this to yourself but considering how important he is to you and the rest of your lives you have decided to tell him.
If he truly loves you, he will stand by you. If he doesn't, then he doesn't deserve you.
Now you can see how much of a rock Tosin really is to you. Please learn and be wise. Thanks for sharing so other young girls can learn. Wishing you all the best in life.
Princess.
If you believe that God can touch the heart of even the most hardened person,then He will do it for you. Just pray about it,telling God what you want and then sit your fiancee down and tell him the whole story cos relationship especially marriage needs to be build on trust. Explain the details and even the threat of your friend Tosin to him and by God's grace all things will work for you and you will smile again. Let your faith carry you.God bless you.
Not sure if anything has ever irritated me as much this post!!! Sorry dear, you were stupid, yes and kind of still stupid.
Please tell ur fiance the sad story and infact, let ur tosin friend be right their when you are telling him (ok, she doesnt have to be their).
What if one of them idiots even knows him and tells him, why put ur life in bondage to start with?!
even with Tosin telling ur fiance about it,it still doesnt matter..if he loves u enough,such story can't stop him from loving u the more..
This is blackmail. Call ur guy and tell him this story (if u r 4 real) them Tosin will be the looser
My dear I know is not easy but for meoooo will prefer you tell the boy, is better to hear from your mouth than someone else, it is better from u he will listen to u than the way outsider or this own family member will tell him. So open up to him u can't hide it forever so tell him so that when the cousin does he will know how to handle it. CHI.
This is no big deal for me. If the guy truly luvs u as u say den he should be able to understand wat happened and move on unless u told him u are virgin or u are having any STD. Its rape nd its not ur fault. And as for De Tosin: goes a long way to show how heartless gals can be.
I'm out. ***CATCH ME IF U CAN***
D Tosin girl is Jst jealous of u dat u've finally gotten someone dat will marry u. Jst tell d whole story to ur finace and I'm very sure if he truly loves u he will understand. Dat Tosin girl is very stupid Dats hw friends hw never to be trusted.
Pls take dis advice, tell ur man urself,if he truly loves u he wouldn't leave u cause u were raped. God will see u tru dear. Have a blessed week all.
Really sorry for your ordeal and I must say, Tosin is an evil witch for threatening to use your past against you. Despite the fact that everything that happened is her fault. You should tell your man what happened and the role Tosin played in the whole game before she gets to him first. If he really loves you, he'll write it off as what it is. A mistake that's in your past and wasn't your fault. We all make mistakes and I'd bet he has done things he's not proud of as well. Just tell him yourself.
My dear, I think u shud just open up n tell ur fiance about it. If he truly loves u, he will stand by u.
I will advise u tell ur fiance first b4 she does. Let him know that it happened becos of her. Some friends could be so wicked and calous. And be prayerful.
Hian! Let her tell him now. Shuo. You what are u waiting for? Mouth dey pain u? U no fit talk? Why is it a secret? Why are u keeping it away from someone you are about to marry? Or is there something you haven't mentioned?
Hmmm...you should sit him down and calmly tell him you were once a victim of rape. Tell him the whole truth, and if he loves you as you think he does, he'll stick around and put your frienemy to shame. But if the story you wrote is by no means the complete tale then OYO is your surname.
My dear, to err is human, u have made a mistake in the past and u are done and over with it, never dwell in the mess simply move on. Thank God you have found love again, I will advise that you tell your fiancee about the rape incident, anything could still come up in the future that will warrant your soon to be husband to find out, imagine some kind of fertility issue arises later in your union, what happens? Tell ur fiancee and be done with the useless blackmail.
My dear tell the guy urself before she will do it...be honest with him. U were childish before ,tell him... Whatever is the outcome u will still find happiness ... Don't let Tosin destroy u... That stupid bitch
Nigerian comedy movie. I give it to u the fortune teller. Next time tell us it didn't happen . Saliman Bla Bla
olodo girl, tell you fiance the truth, you are telling the whole your story except the man that really matters.
almost every girl has been raped at some point in life, you cannot deprive yourself of love just because your ungrateful "anchor" threatens to to tell what? please!!!!!! what you need to do is invite you man to someplace really quiet and airy and tell him everything there. Before you go however make sure you prepare him for the news. you could say you want to keep nothing from him as you two are getting married soon. you want to tell him something no one knows except one person not even your family (the identity of the person would only be reveled when you have given him the story) now he will be the next. if he really loves you honey he will marry you. who is TOSIN???
Open up to the guy, by letting him know ur past life, b4 it's late. If he genuinely loves you, don't think he would take a walk. After all nobody is perfact.
this is no issue at all as far as i am concerned, all you need to do is, call ur man to a quiet place may be a garden or a lake, open up to him, tell him every thing without missing words, if he loves u he would stay with you. if he leaves, my dear dust ur feet and wait for ur man. besides how many men has the so called Tosin slept with? how many girls has ur friend slept with too? tell him every every at least u didnt get pregnant or abort a child, u didnt contact any STD or HIV, u were just a victim or stupid RAGE.. as dey say revenge is best served cold... but this Jide guy has mind and patience oh, 9months just to revenge. na wa oh for people oh....
from what i read in your post. you dont anything to worry about. your case is explainable to ur guy. everyone has a past and an what they might still be indulging in. no one is a saint. yu helped her and became trhe the victim. shes the devil. try and talk with ur guy before she does. win his mind before someone esle does.
See no need to be confused, just call ur fiance sit him down and tell him everything trust me it'll workout in your favour the end. Don't waste time tell him everything that happened period.
Ralbro007 via Sony Ericsson W850i
Your story is definitely a movie-like experience. Well, i really don't need to say that was you did was wrong and what ALL the guys was wrongier but you later became the wrongiest by trusting your friend that much and allowing her to use you.
If YOUR man actually loves you as you said and you love him too, I think the best option is to be THE FIRST to tell him.
Be ready for him to threat an end of the relationship but I guess its better than him hearing it for your TO SIN of a friend.
IAmLive
You need to open up and tell Ur man everything. Its risky but if he as sweet as you say, he will understand. But don't let him get the gist from another person.
madam, you were raped, so tell him the whole truth not exempting any little info. it pays to tell the truth. at least there was no child or something.if he truely loves you, he ll stay. who knows, ay of those guys could come out and be ur man's friend or family sef.
To be candid, you need to tell the guy yourself b4 he founds out somehow and if he loves you as you claim, he will stick to you till eternity.
this is no issue at all as far as i am concerned, all you need to do is, call ur man to a quiet place may be a garden or a lake, open up to him, tell him every thing without missing words, if he loves u he would stay with you. if he leaves, my dear dust ur feet and wait for ur man. besides how many men has the so called Tosin slept with? how many girls has ur friend slept with too? tell him every every at least u didnt get pregnant or abort a child, u didnt contact any STD or HIV, u were just a victim or stupid RAGE.. as dey say revenge is best served cold... but this Jide guy has mind and patience oh, 9months just to revenge. na wa oh for people oh....
U shud tell him
She shld go ahead and tell, at this point I don't think you owe her anything. She put you in this condition in the first place, its not like she is a virgin herself. Or better still tell your fiancé yourself.
this is no issue at all as far as i am concerned, all you need to do is, call ur man to a quiet place may be a garden or a lake, open up to him, tell him every thing without missing words, if he loves u he would stay with you. if he leaves, my dear dust ur feet and wait for ur man. besides how many men has the so called Tosin slept with? how many girls has ur friend slept with too? tell him every every at least u didnt get pregnant or abort a child, u didnt contact any STD or HIV, u were just a victim or stupid RAGE.. as dey say revenge is best served cold... but this Jide guy has mind and patience oh, 9months just to revenge. na wa oh for people oh....
I think u shd jst go ahead and tell your fiance the truth...if Tosin does so b4 u do,things would get worse for you and you'l be more sad and confused cos he'd begin to doubt everything u've ever told him since you guys started dating! My opinion
My Sister, I felt emotionally touched for your ordeal. My candid advice for you, is that, you have got to face your guy in the eye and tell him the simple truth about your past before your friend Tosin let the cat out of the bag.I hope your guy will understand better when he hears the truth from you than from Tosin.
Honey you have to sit ur man down and tell him everything..even apologize for not tellin him earlier..tell him every damn thing including the cousin(tosin's)part..it's better that way..remember it was in the past and you were young and naive..if he truly loves u he won't walk becoz of that,and if he does,girl throw him a deuce sign and flip ur hair/weave and walk..it's his loss not urs..but first pray to God before the "talk"..good luck girl..x
Na nollywood movie be this abeg?
Open the Can of worms to your guy.If he truly luv you,he'll still go ahead and marry you.You can't continue bottling this up.Someday he will find out and your regret will be worse than what you're experiencing today.Stay strong
My dear pray about it and ask God to direct u to disclose it to ur husband to be it's difficult I know but it's better he gets to know frm u than his cousin who might add her own false story to d incident. Don't be surprised that he will still love u if he is ur true husband who has found favour b4 the Lord to be ur better half. Be strong in ur faith God will not forsake u dear
STORY!!!!!!!!!!
this is the first time i am going to comment.it's a simple case.it was not your fault that u were raped and u would have still lost your virginity in another way so the best is to tell your boy friend this same story and every i believe he will just be angry for not telling him early.u commited no crime and so you don't need to be scared.be bold and tell him.getting raped is not a sin u were just unlucky to be a victim.be happy and tell ur boy friend then put everything behind u.
It is a good thing, let her tell on you! You should walk into this relationship with all your cards on the table. You were probably gonna go into the relationship not letting your guy know you had being raped, now he will find out instead of having to wait till the future! If Tosin tells on you, she is snitching on herself too.
Tell your man the truth. Tell him everything that happened, if he truly love you he will stand by you. You did nothing wrong to the so called Tosin. So God will fight your battle for you and put her to shame.
It is sad that you have found yourself in this situation. However, my advice -whilst many other readers would not agree- would be to sit your man down and tell him the truth. If he truly loves you, he would look past the issue and focus on what binds you two -love. Goodluck.
I tink u should jst tell ur fiance d whole story and let him decide. D Tosin girl is rily heartless! If ur fiance rily luvs un and he's meant 4 u, he won't judge u based on ur past! Goodluck!
You know you can still go to the police right? You were raped, you were the victim.
Don't fall to her threat, tell your guy the truth.
Hey, you put this on yourself alright ... Not the fact that you were raped or all that childish issues, the fact that you did not tell this dude about your past before you'all fell in-love.
Hey, tell him about it, cause if you don't now, it might not be Tosin anymore, but something else will hunt you regarding...
From a guy that will understand (I hope he does)
My dear i wil advise u tel ur man oo,cos it wasnt intensional nd beside d@ ur frnd shuld b put to shame
tell such stories of ur past to ur guy,,in disguise of urself n name,, then ask 4 ur guy's opinion, wat ever he tells u to do,,jst do it in sincerity,,then open up to him,,,
The Lord is your strength. Tell your m man the truth. If he is the one that God has chosen for you, he wil forgive you. If he does not then he is not the right one for you
Tell him YOURSELF!!! Babe, if he decides to leave you because of that then so be it. At least you have been open and have a chance... On the other hand, if he hears about it from someone else; he will definitely feel betrayed and you might not have a chance then. That's my honest opinion; the truth will set you free...
Madam. Let her tell him, If you guys still wanna get married, he will find out eventually.
Let her go ahead and tell him why are you scared unless all you are saying here is not the truth Tosin knows somethings about you that you didn't write down. Come out plainly so we know how well to advice you
The LORD is your strength, this is really big.........I FEAR GIRLS SHAA
My dear tell the guy about d rape. If he loves u, he will stays. This is something you would have told him since. I was raped @ 16 years wen I met my husband I told him it n he still married me. Is not a big deal. if ur my is a child n doesn't have past That were u will have problems
Now ure in a shitationship.........u made a terrible mistake nt to report them at the veri beginning..it goes to show u needed the banging too,,cool u have a foursome, u should tell her cousin ur sexcapade to be on a safer side.
my dear, d best thing u can do is to pray n tell ur guy abt d incident.if he truly love u, he will understand n accept u becos it was ur past.
Please go ahead and tell the guy the story before your friend Tosin did. Tell the guy nothing but the truth of the whole matter. and you will be surprise if the guy truly love you the guy wld by himself put Tosin to shame.
The best ting 2 do now is to tell ur guy urself first, if truly he rlly loved u, he will stay, dat's frnds 4 u.
Please don't be afraid or confused if your fiancé truly loves you he will stay with you, there is noting big or special in it every body has a past. What is yours will be yours.
Moreover she was the pioneer.
Fight for what you love. Chikena. And Don't forget to ask God for wisdom to deal with the situation.
my dear u shud tell ur boyfrnd abt it b4 she has d chance to do so...if u dnt n she eventually tells him, he wont b able to trust u again. btw dat ur frnd is a selfish and wicked frnd n she wld get wat she deserves.
U shudnt let ur past haunt u,life must go on,just learn to forget the past
#skaler#
Hello dear, this is my first comment on LIB since I have been a fan.
My name is M.O.R and I think I can help you. Kindly get in touch with me via konnektors@gmail.com
You will not lose your man neither will your friends threat amount to anything.
Let's talk when you can.
my dear u shud tell ur boyfrnd abt it b4 she has d chance to do so...if u dnt n she eventually tells him, he wont b able to trust u again. btw dat ur frnd is a selfish and wicked frnd n she wld get wat she deserves.
Tell ur man the truth about yourself,if he truly loves you he will stil go ahead and marry u.
Tell the guy if he loves you he will stay if not he will leave but at least you will know ur conscience is clear
Tell your fiance, before she tells him. This backwards mentality is why people are still getting raped in Nigeria. it's never anyone's fault for getting raped.
So sorry abt what happen back then, bt as 4 tosin let her go ahead nd tell he's cousin, bt be 4 then tell ur man first tell him what happen, what's ur own is ur own no matter what tosin do, tosin is a mad idiot
Hi dear, spit it out and tell your man the truth. Everyone has a past.I am sure he has his dear
my dear are you not a christian, pray to God about it, that is for sake your sins and ask for forgiveness. Tell God to give you a man that will marry you no matter your past. Another thing is, since both of you are truely in love open up to him and let him know all that transpired and if he is truely yours he will stand by you . After all there is no one without a past.best of luck, dont be sad for God will make a way for you.
This is just stupid and unacceptable. This is why people get away with rape. Can't you tell your boyfriend? You got raped as a virgin and you couldn't even report it
This is the mistake most women make. Why did you not inform the guy about this when you knew the relationship was already serious. Its always good to avoid this situations early. Anyways the deed has already been done. The best thing is to inform the guy about what happened, or to make it easy for Tosin, why not call all your Fiance's family members excluding Tosin, sit them down and inform them what happened. That is my suggestion.
Beat her to it... Tell your fiancé about the whole ordeal & watch his reaction. Better for him to hear it from you than from anyone else. Hopefully, he will understand that it wasn't all your fault.
take this and thank me later. Tell your fiance about the rape yourself. trust me he will marry you if your snitch ass friend doesnt break the news before you. you should have told him before now though but its not late yet. Do it now! and be including ure to tell him the role his couse (tosin) played in the whole scenario, including how she threatened to expose u. apologize for concealing it all these while
uchensibi@gmail.com
So sorry abt what happen back then, bt as 4 tosin let her go ahead nd tell he's cousin, bt be 4 then tell ur man first tell him what happen, what's ur own is ur own no matter what tosin do, tosin is a mad idiot
take this and thank me later. Tell your fiance about the rape yourself. trust me he will marry you if your snitch ass friend doesnt break the news before you. you should have told him before now though but its not late yet. Do it now! and be including ure to tell him the role his couse (tosin) played in the whole scenario, including how she threatened to expose u.
Tell ur man the simple truth. If he accepts you that way, den you hav nothing to fear cos he will defend you before his family.. Don't wait for your friend to break d news to him.. You wil regret that. The truth will always come out, if you keep on hiding it...
let her tell...if your man is worth it emotionally he will share your pain...if he is not? let him go. its high time people become open with their rape stories.and stop feeling bad for something you dint help bring upon yourself. you were raped and that is the real crime and injustice.SUFFER NO MORE
Let her tell, let him choose if he wants to carry on or not. Secrets are worse when exposed & you're already married
I suggest you open up to your guy, tell him the whole truth about how you were rape.
Anybody can fall rape victim. As a matter of fact,it's your past.
Don't allow anybody threaten you with unnecessary shit.
Prob wit we humans we kip too many secret. Tell ur man all wt happened be4 his cuz tells him, life is simple we make it hard for ourselves.
First I wld say you should have told your present bf about your past.Being raped is not something that goes off ur mind easily,it wl always haunt you.we all have our past and u jst have to move on.our past life should not limit us to what we aim for.And as for your friend I don't think she is a good friend even from the onset,and that was why it was easy for her to use you as a bait,dat was too stupid a step to take.You don't have to beg her,if she decides to tell you bf,so be it.if he loves you he wl accept you still no matter what
i feel sorry for you boo. i suggest you tell your man the whole stroy. you will bwe shocked how understanding he will be, that is if he truly loves you. we all have our stories. i almost fell for the same "revengeship" palava. i am such a people pleaser so i volunteered myself. God just saved me. Dont worry you will be fine. Pray, open up to ur future husband and peace!
Give me Tosins phone number> In three days, she will not be worrying about you. I m just going to sell her some beautiful non existing ideas that ll blow her away. Are you willing to mail me on adanaegbuazu@gmail.com
Give me Tosins phone number> In three days, she will not be worrying about you. I m just going to sell her some beautiful non existing ideas that ll blow her away. Are you willing to mail me on adanaegbuazu@gmail.com
let her tell...if your man is worth it emotionally he will share your pain...if he is not? let him go. its high time people become open with their rape stories.and stop feeling bad for something you dint help bring upon yourself. you were raped and that is the real crime and injustice.SUFFER NO MORE
Dear, there is no reason to fidget even if your friend insists on making live her threat.
You were raped and there's no question about it. It wasn't an act envisaged nor wasn't one that could question your responsibleness. You were a virgin and that was unfortunately lost; it was not by your flirtation rather by an orchestrated desire to gratify lasciviousness by unbridled perverts.
That is no fault of yours.
People are always victims of the evil of rape, and that should not be enough basis to discredit or call the bluff with them in a relationship. That someone u loves was raped, to me should not be reason at all to diss them.
So, allow Tosin do her sinister wish. If your friend makes good her threat and your fiance is quick to work on it, he must have acted irrationally and that should suggest that there was no love, ab initio.
Move on will your life and don't let the scar linger. It doesn't.
My dear thats rubbısh... Go ahead and tell hım yourself ıf you love hım. Everyone has a dırty past...ıf he truely love(s) u,he's goıng to blame hıs cousın sıster and he mıght even tell you hıs own dırt past. Trust me ıts nt an ıssue u should be scared of. He came ınto your lıfe to gıve you happıness and not sorrow. Its better he hears ıt from you cos you can explaın better...than hım hearıng ıt from her mıssed wıth lıes.
Just tell d guy d whole story urself.if he really loves u he will understand.
Hey girl! First things first, ask God for forgiveness, He promised to forgive you. Forgive yourself, it's in the past. The best way out of a blackmail, is to tell yourself. No matter how hard it is, the best way is to tell your fiance yourself, and the earlier the better, before Tosin does. Trust me, if he truly loves you, he look past it. If he doesn't he's not worth your tears.
You shud let ur fiancee knw abt it,then u knw wat his action is like,if he acts soo brutal,u hav to let him go.
#skaler#
I remember this superstory!!! A blast from the past. To me, I wil advise you tell ur man everything before anoda person did. If he loves u, he wil stay wit u. I told my fiance abt d abortion I had wit my ex and I can bet u he accepted me coz he blivs everybody has a past.
its quite difficult. if dis is not karma, then wat is it? question for d gods #thinking aloud
dnt be angry wit ursef,walk up 2 Ur guy and explain everytin 2 him...dnt be afraid,if is truelly Urs he will marry U...God is Ur Help...Gudluck
u shld ve tld him abt wat happened to u, there's nothing to be ashamed of.u were d victim ,so tell him now,if he really loves u he'll stay, cos it will hurt him more if he hears it frm sum1 else or if u leave him cos of pressure frm ur former roommate without any explanation
Young lady u were a victim of rape! You did absolutely nothing to deserve being raped. Tell your fiance the entire story and if he rejects you then he isn't worth it. Yes you played silly games but NOONE DESERVES TO BE RAPED!
I think u ave to copy dis whole story and make it an oral presentation to your fiance. Past is part of our cross to carry, we must surely deal wit it when it comes around. Take mine and ignore d rest.
My dear, your story touched me and I had to comment. Please tell him what you've just wrote above. Tell him EVERYTHING. If he's yours, he will stick with you and Tosin will be put to shame.
Speak to your guy, bare it all. If its meant to be, it will ha ppen, if not move on. That is better than having someone blackmail you
Hes threathening to confess that he raped you? Abeg joh
Na wa oo follow ur hrt dear take d challenge and c d response from his cuz. @Mayflexi
she is stupid, tell him thou and get it off ur chest, if he loves you he would stay, if he doesn't, good riddance. truth be told, nothing is hidden under sun, at least not such stories as the connections are to close. The lord be with you
Ignore her and stick with ur man. If she tells, u can tell on her too
Call her bluff!
Dunno what to say
Buh the gal shld just open up to her guy about the whole thing
The guy might understand
Cuz the next thing that will happen is a blackmail
Some guys can be wicked
....SƖεεkz
we all make mistakes..........Tosin is stupid for doing such to you after wat she made you go thru.....my 2cent advise is for you to tell him yourself and leave him to decide if he truly loves you despite wat has happened to u in the past!
This is a lesson.Don't be a partaker of evil cos if anything happens,those u did it for or with will abandon u.Well,I'd advice u to ur her cousin everything that happened before she does if he truly loves u,he will stick with u.
open up 2 ur man and tell him all abt ur past esp d 'rape', if he truly loves u he will understand. And pls don't 4get 2 mentioned dat d rape happened becos of 'Tosin'
Dnt be Silly my dear... Call ur guy and tell him an indirect story abt u. Start with its a girl you know and ask him what he thinks of the situation and see what his reaction will be before telling him it was you.
As for Tosin, God will judge her
Beat her to it: Tell him yourself..
Tell him every single thing, & cry well well.. Tell him u dint tell him before cause you've been trying to block it out of your memory and don't mention it as it is like reliving it. But when his cousin threatened to tell him, you thought it would be best coming from you, so he could know the true story.
It was years ago, it shouldn't matter coz it has nothing to do with him or your relationship with him.
and besides, it was his cousin that put you in that mess in the first place, he should know the sort of witch she is.
If you are afraid to tell him, send him a letter or a voice note . So e times its better to send people letters, so they process all the information and think about what they want to say before they reply.
And if he rejects you after that, then he's an oloshi and YOU just dodged a bullet by not marrying him...
I hope this helps, let us know what happens...
Good luck
That Tosin must be a very bitchy person! Som girls tho! Be brave babe! Tell d guy urself if he really loves u he's gonna understand and even stick up for u when necessary! Tell ur man b4 he finds out hmself.. av it in mind that if u two are meant to be Nothng is gonna change it and vice-versa! Goodluck!
TELL HIM YOURSELF. THE EARLIER YOU DO THE BETTER... AT THIS POINT, I SEE NO REASON WHY U SHOULDN'T BE OPEN- MINDED TOWARDS YOUR MAN.
COMMUNICATION IS KEY. WILL ALWAYS BE.
GOOD LUCK.
Pele tie. Each to his own. Tell him yourself... or blackmail will finish u. Best wishes my dear.
*** forst to comment ***
Hmmm, A blast from the past. Itz beta u tell him everything that happened to u in the past urself, if he loves u, he wil def accept u. I told my fiance abt d abortion I had in my previous relationship and he accepted me coz he blivs dat there is nobody dat doesn't have a past. Itz just dat its different.
Go ahead and tell your fiancé, if he truly loves you, he will accept you for who you are. I also see this as a test of his love for you. if he passes this test, than he is the man for you. at least you were not a prostituted back days in high school.
Tell ur man b4 Tosin does....if he luvs u he will understand
tell him and let him know all about it and d threat u are getting from tosin now and let him decide on what to do if he is d one he will stay.
Hmm,
one would think the rape incident had made you wiser and stronger? Its annoyingly obvious that this "Tosin" girl had and still has a major hold on you.
If you were mature enough to understand... I feel the best thing would be that you tell him before she does, cos trust me she aint gonna paint no nice picture, and since she has always been his blood thats definitely gonna carry more weight sugar...
And on another note, I strongly suggest U let everything that connects you to her go (including ur love), cos inevitably speaking a fruit does not fall far from the tree...I sense more than just this episode coming your way..
A few words they say...
Ladies fall for these rich douche bags and expect people to feel sorry for them when the shit hits the fan? Sorry not sorry.
~BADOO OF COVENTRY
mmmmm, dis is a very dicey situation .buh i will advice u 2 invite ur man and xplain tinz 2 him witout hideing any tin and i blive he will understand and don't 4get 2 pray abt it first . Linda pls post my comment
Tell ur man all dat happend.
Tell the guy yourself. Everyone has his/her own ugly past. If he walks away, then he's not yours... My two cents.
My advise to you is to open up to your man, I believe this will make him love you the more. It is better to hear it from you than some other person else. Yours were four(4) persons that slept with you, who knows how many men that have slept with that your so called friend that is threatening to expose you?.
Tell him the whole story yourself. if he will continue loving fine.if he wants to leave u cos of that, let it be.
wel i guess u shuld just tell ur fiance about the whole thing. thou its not goin to b so easy but if he truely loves you he shuld understand nd forgive u.
fucking open up to him before its too late,it would be bad if he hears if from tosin.
Hello
I feel your pain. How about Instead of loosing this awesome guy just like that. How about you sit him down and tell him your story. If he truely loves you he will stay and if he cant then let him go. Come on. Thats the best thing to do.
Human beings can be so callous. My advice: Tell him before that your evil friend does. If he agrees to stay with you, fine. If he doesn't, fine. You'll find someone else at the right time.
This sound like 9ja home video/ movie
Anyway, life is all about choice & that's what u made out of it. I believe that's what u choose. Miss revenge
BORN TO SHINE!!!
the right thing to do is to open up to your man, abt your past, if you both wia really meant to be he will understand it as your past, but if he doesnt den u move on, meaning he's not d right person for you.
FLEXING MY GLO 30MB
she is the wicked one. pls let ur husband to be know the truth
Ur story is very touching.....d best thing is to tell ur guy the truth abt ur past.
Just tell ur financee if he loves u truly he will understand and be wit u
you need to tell your fiancee about the situation yourself ... before anyone does ... if he doesnt accept you for it then he wasnt the man for you ... trust me there will be someone else out there..
tosin is wrong for holding this over you but you should have told you bf about it from the start..
Pls if u dnt have contacts I will gladly link u up..dis ur story will be a nollywood blockbuster..wat goes around comes around..u are a bitch and u will get exactly wat u deserve..As for ur frnd tosin giv her rat poison..U are looking for happiness u are funny dis is jst d beginning..nxt tym u stupid gals wont plot wit ur frnds for revenge....................................#KingOfKings
Small world mehn!.....I feel u shld just tell ur man abt it,cos if tosin shld tell him,he'll b disappointed dat u kept such secret 4rm him...bt if u tell him nd he says he aint interested in d rltnshp anymore, den he dsnt luv u,if he's truly meant 4u,he'll stay...4get tosin's threat..jst tell him urself!
Tell him the f**king truth...if he stays Fyn, if he doesn't all the better. Also, u should get ur friend arrested so u can start the process of getting those guys arrested as well cos something aby this story jst sounds shady.
Tell you fiancé. I don't think it should be an issue. Except there is something else TOSIN knows that you aren't telling us.
sowie babe! i feel ur pain but ur frend shud try 2 understand aftall she got u into d mess
If i were u,i will tell him everything dat happened,i will also let him kn it was his cousin dat put u thru all dat happened,if his urs he would stay nd if he's nt let him go ur own man will come
All u need to do is sit ur fiancé down and tell him the truth. Don't let her steal ur joy. She's just a jealous bitch
Tosin is wicked to me ! She should reward you with her brother and not ,make you suffer again , my advice is that you tell your man the whole thing by yourself .
swity d best advice I will give u is to tell him before she does. face it, dat was ur past face d future right nw or u will always regret it for d rest of ur life. if d guy loves u my dear he will think about it and come back. what is urs will always be urs no matter wat anyone says or think.
swity d best advice I will give u is to tell him before she does. face it, dat was ur past face d future right nw or u will always regret it for d rest of ur life. if d guy loves u my dear he will think about it and come back. what is urs will always be urs no matter wat anyone says or think.
Are you really still as stupid as you were in year 2?
Just tell him! simple!
I wonder why you will want to keep such a secret from someone you claim you love dearly.
RME
my dear friend, i will advise u to tell ur man. i mean everything, from hw u got involved to hw u were reaped. if he truly loves u. he will understand it from ur angle. duo it will hurt him but i believe things will be fine. brass up dear. i feel u.
Nollywood
Nollywood
Open up to the new amazing guy asap. That's your best bet.
P.S: this will make for a really good Nollywood movie
But tosin is wicked sha,u just ve2 tell him what happened then b4 tosin ko torToise does«goodluck»
Dear Girl, so sorry about your situation. My candid advise is that you immediately call your boyfriend's attention to the situation. Go on your kneels and tell him the whole truth, please do not hide anything at this stage. Also tell him that his cousin is threatening you. It is better for him to hear all these from you than from anyone else. Whatever decision he makes then that is left to him.
My darling do not let anyone give you a sleepless night. I feel all your pain. I pray God fixes this situation for you if it is meant to be for you and if not I pray He gives you the bone of your bone and the flesh of your flesh.
All the very best.
So sorry my dear, in my own lil advise, i think u shld call ur man and tell him abt the whole scenario... since u were naive dt time...Wish u all d best.
I'm Olori Sho
Ur story brought me to tears..am so pained..damn!! I think you should tell your fiance the whole story yourself..am so sorry you went thru all that
oh dear...so sorry about that...just tell your man the truth cos if u allow Tosin to tell him herself it will be bad...make the first move
REPORT TO THE LAW ENFORCEMENT. HE IS A RAPIST AND ACCUSING YOU AGAIN.
Tell your fiancee about it, it's better he knows and you may never know. All the best
Look tell him all dat happened, if he loves u he will stay wit u. Dont build ur relationship on lies it will also come back to hunt u.
First of, I just want to say that this Tosin babe is a biatch.Plus why are your relationship highs/woes kinda connected to her sef?
Secondly, DO NOT give Tosin the satisfaction of telling him your story. Tell it to him yourself and hope for the best while bracing yourself for the worst. The Lord will allow that which is best for you both to happen as concerns his decision after you tell him.
You were raped so fuck what?!
Let her tell!
As long as you did not bag any child or std from that encounter am sure you will be fine.
Put your head up and tell your man yourself, you will be surprised how love can heal deepest of wounds.
Simply tell your man the whole story, if he breaks up with you then he never really loved you.
oh boy!
Tosin is a very stupid girl,don't worry,she would meet her doom elsewhere. the mistake u made is not mentioning the rape to ur guy. the solution now is just tell the girl the truth as u posted it here,if he for u,he would stay.
My advise is that you should tell ur man everything n I have a feeling that Tosin isn't a friend for using such sad experience to try n snatch ur happiness away. If ur man loves u he would stay but also don't expect him to just swallow it all with calm but try n tell him before Tosin does. At least not that u have one deadly disease or did abortion. I pray u find ur happiness at the end of it all.
J.O.E
Tell him what happened. If he hears it from you, it wouldn't be a problem.
tell ur finace and free urself hunnie!!
oouch..sad story :-( .d ryt tin to do is jes tell ur him ..u shud av said so frm d beginnin b4 gettin too attached... nw it wud be difficult buh u cnt hide dt fct frm him..accept woteva comes frm it
my advice is for you to tell the guy before Tosin tell and tell him everything
My dear all I can say is call this guy u love and tell him the truth... If he really loves u, it wd mean nothing to him and put Tosin to shame.
what u did ws stupid, bt u did it 4 a friend......tosin is nt bein fair 2 deny u dis and 2 think dat all u went through ws 4 her
Kai my dear sister. I dont want to judge you but I must say you are a strong person. As in I cant even do what you did. The guy will catch me from day one that I was up to something. In this case, my only advice is tell the guy what happened, if he really loves you then he will stick with you. If you dont, Tosin will tell him. Either way you will loose out. If you end up loosing the guy then let it be. Men nefa finish for this world. Does it mean that rape victims wont marry again biko? And besides, stop being friends with Tosin. She is a dangerous person.
Waiting for part 2.tell him the whole truth if he really loves you he will understand
My advice fr u..is to tell ur fiancee bfore he gets to kno frm tosin...pray abt it and tell him..it may nt b as bad as u tink..aftarall u were raped
Hello dear, I understand how you feel and of course you have paid the price. What I would have expected from you is to have being so transparent with your boo and so this shouldn't be a problem. I think you should tell him all about your past and if he truly loves you, no Jupiter can stop it! NOT EVEN TOSIN!!! Goodluck!
You are most to be pitied, "the Devil u know is better than the angel u don't know" People who are friends dependent, are always victim of this kind of predicament. The friend u so much believed in and vehemently fought for, that cost u your virginity has turned to be ur worst enemy. But the situation is not out of control yet, if only u will muster up boldness to do what i want to tell you now. If ur man hear the story from ur first consider it a lost battle. Go to ur man first and narrate d story to him, u were a victim of circumstances, if he truly loves, though, he may feel bad at first, he will love u the more for been frank or truthful. i for one will marry a repentant prostitute who confesses her sins and leave them than a lady who profess to be a virgin, which later turn out to be lie.
hmmmmm school days live ! I think you should open up to the guy some secret are not even wht keepin in relationship, if d guy geniunely love u dat woudn't be a prob.
sweetheart u need to tell your fiancé before tosin does. it will be very hurting if tosin tells him before you, it is now left for him to forget about your past and move on with you or not, if he truly loves you he wont judge you according to your past
Its better you express your predicament of many years to your fiancée before Tosin divulge the secret .A responsible Man will always appreciate honesty and transparency, however, every human being on earth has his or her past. I'm so sure he will reason with you if you can be courageous to narrate your past experience to him remorsefully .
Hmmmm nawa oooo dat Tosin is heartless and Jide is callous. You see why its never a good idea to put yourself in d middle of someone else's wahala cuz it will come crashing on u.
I advise d babe to tell her fiance. If he truly loves her, he will stay. If not, then it just wasn't meant to be.
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