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Friday 15 June 2012

Dear LIB readers: Should I tell or not?

A mail from a LIB reader
Hi Linda, when I saw you post stories people send in I started to write mine but stopped. Now I am ready to ask your readers advice. I live in the US now but I lived the first 18years of my life in Naija. I'm 20 now and I live with my sister who is 10 years older than I am. It's just the two of us my mother has and I love my sister very much. She filed papers to have me here in the states and I live under her roof and don't pay any bills. Her husband is a traveling business man from naija too and he is the best man you would ever meet. He's so good to my family, a good Christian and he hardly ever raises his voice or gets mad. 
Continue reading...

You know them mellow and calm people?? That's him! I love and respect him like I would my father cos he's like 10 years older than my sister. He cleans when he's home, takes care of his children (they have three) and he gives my sister and me lots of money. My sister on the other hand I totally adore too. She's a free spirit and very generous but she's a party animal ooo! She loves to go to parties and smoke and drink. Though she doesn't do this at home, just outside. She's real vain and temperamental too but she's my sister and I love her that way.  Ok the point to my story is I found out she's cheating on her husband with a guy like three or four years younger than her. At first I thought he was her friend but then I started seeing text messages and frequent calls. This guy would call and shed live everything and fly over to him. He's still in college(I no he's old sha but na condition)...lol! I still tried to ignore it but then I saw a letter she was writing. In it she professed her love and undying support and bashed her husband as old and an idiot and that she will divorce him and get half his money and property in years to come so they can be together. She also wrote that she loves the oral sex and anal sex he (the bf) gives her the best. My mind was blown and it broke to pieces. I was appalled and disgusted at my sister, a woman with 3 kids damnit! Now her husband has bin the best thing to happen to my family and I live with them and I will testify in a court of law that he has not done anything to warrant this kind of treatment. Im torn! I really want to tell him what my sister is doing... But she's my sister and that would be betrayal right??? But her husband has never laid a hand on her or argued with her with harsh words or slacked as a provider so I owe him the truth now right??? I know you are going to say talk to my parents but my sister is a golden child to them. She can't do no wrong in their eyes... This could give my mother a heart attack... Also if I tell my sister what I know she could threaten me and throw me out and I have no where else to stay or a job to survive on. Please tell me what to do cos I'm slowly going crazy and I am beginning to resent my sister. Thank you guys.

201 comments:

1 – 200 of 201   Newer›   Newest»
Anonymous said...

tule tule...see why you shouldn't habor people in your matrimonial home? they will end up scattering the place

Anonymous said...

U better keep ur mouth shut and mind ur business coz if u dere tell u will be responsible for breaking up a home. think bout ur neice and nephew just pray and pray some more that your sister comes to her senses, too many people are going to get hurt weń the truth gets out so u also nid to find ur self a part time job and save all the money giving to you coz u will nid to find a płace weń shit hits the fan.

Anonymous said...

U better keep ur mouth shut and mind ur business coz if u dere tell u will be responsible for breaking up a home. think bout ur neice and nephew just pray and pray some more that your sister comes to her senses, too many people are going to get hurt weń the truth gets out so u also nid to find ur self a part time job and save all the money giving to you coz u will nid to find a płace weń shit hits the fan.

Anonymous said...

Kip ur mouth shut den!
Michelle

Janded said...

Let your sister know that you know. Make her realise that she is living in bondage by not telling her husband. She should tell him the truth and start living freely with the younger man she loves. Whether that is the best decision she ever makes, time will tell.

Anonymous said...

Tell the husband. If you truly feel he does not deserve this then tell him. If he wants proof let him go and catch them in the act or show him the letter, but I personally feel that he should be told to avoid any unfair treatment towards him. Your sister in the wrong. That's the TRUTH. For you to conceal such evil plan means you are an accomplice to the whole thing because you knew about it and didn't do anything. I know she's your sister and all, but do the right thing and save the innocent man as you feel he is, from all the embarrassment and future heart break!

Anonymous said...

My dear I feel ur pain bt u have to do smtin b4 it's get out of hand. Call ur sis catiou her & tell ur aunty or ur sister's bf, even ur pastor wife, somebody dat can talk to her. Bt u have 2 careful abt everytin. Wish all d best.

Anonymous said...

U just succeeded in telling ur sister's husband and his entire family by post this on LIB. Ode

Anonymous said...

I wil advice u talk to ur sis abt wat shes doin. Shes ur sis u kw nd sh wil nt throw u out of her house jst lyk dat. Talk to her abt it first. Thrown u out of d house is nothin u should be scared of cos i kw her husband wil want to know her reasons 4 wantn to render u homeles. Pls save ur sisters marriage

Anonymous said...

Why don't you MIND YOUR BUSINESS..if as you say she brought you to yankee and takes care of you jus appreciate that....try and get a job so you can move out please leave them alone..you have only lived wit them 2yrs so u dot knw the half of what has gone on in de marriage..b4 you came...

Anonymous said...

The best you could do was advise ur sister n not tell her story to the world.......u just betrayed ur sister, ode oshi....pass d mic jor

Anonymous said...

The truth is you need to address your sister on the matter, not with threats to exposing her infidelity or adulterous acts to her husband...cos then the possibility of being kicked out will occur. She needs to know you know and probably a reminder of the man she married who is supporting her, their kids and your family. Her reaction will then let you know the next step to take...if these steps don't apply, start looking for a job on the side, let ur parents know so you can either move out in a good way so you are not being dragged in the mess.

She probably is caught up with the vibrant, young boy sexually...nothing more. Let your family do the talking so you are not going to be accused of destroying your sisters home. Prayer is key too!!!

Anonymous said...

Tell.

MAXIMUS™ said...

My friend, take your two fingers and hold both your lips Pim! You think God is not watching? Leave her alone and let karma do its job. If you speak, you'll for ever remain the bitter jealous younger sister who broke her marriage. Just play blind, deaf, dumb to her infidelity. Her day of reckoning is coming

Anonymous said...

I think you should mind your on business and keep your mouth shut.

Bunmi said...

Discuss with your mum first

Obie said...

Women! God created d 1st of their kind to help Adam,instead she carry death give d poor man make en chop!!..lemme see what d internet women rights activist will have to say here..mscheeeww

SIMJA said...

Babe ur such a gud person wid a gud hrt. First nd foremost I'll suggest dat u narrate d story to any close female frnd of ur's den tel d person to place a call across ur sis as an anonymous nd sm1 dat is close to d baby boy, threathenin her to reveal her secret escapades along wid evidence to her husband, trust me wid dis ur sis wil rejust bcz it wil sawn on her dat divorce on d acct of cheatin wil render her penniless at d court xcept if her husband dcides to be nyc. If she dsnt change wid ma earlier suggestion den I'll suggest dat u wisely in4m ur broda in-law abt ur sista's evil plans against him. Mak sur ur kiaful cz sm men re mumu nd he myt go bak to tel ur sista which wil def land u in2 trouble. I'm sur d 1st wil wrk. Al d bst nd kip us posted on d progress report

Christopher Prince said...

this is really crazy...i mean yr sister is...bt i feel ur pain. i wld support my sister anyway cos she family and dats wat ppl wld want 2 hear. anybody dat misjudges u shld jump ova 3rd mainland bridge or London bridge :D...

Innoxx said...

Ouch so painfuI...! Oh serioulsly ma heart shattered as i read diz story.Ya sister is heading for doom.Honestly i don't know wat to say.

Anonymous said...

Please tell ur inlaw in disguise

NUBIAN QUEEN™ said...

the messenger always gets shot remember that...if you really want her to get caught then set her up so your brother in law finds out for himself that way you are not involved...or you could just shut your mouth she will eventually get caught out..or you could try talking to her and find out why she is doing what she is doing you never know maybe she found out her hubby was cheating too and is on some sort of revenge mission...

Anonymous said...

Pray for guidance from God and begin to pray for your sister. Its a difficult one if you tell the husband you will break his heart and he might never recover. Speak to your sister but pray and fast first before you do

Musiclover said...

Wow oh wow.... Talk about a rock and a hard place.

I dont know what to tell you cos if you do tell, your relationship with your sister will be damaged if not for life, for a very very veeeery long time.

On the other hand, i understand how you feel about the innocent, loving husband that does his best to take care of his family (including yourself)... He doesnt deserve what your sister is doing and her plot to dump him and get his money is quite harsh. Its obvious you feel sorry for him, me sef wey nor know am just dey talk 'eeya'.

I cant tell you what to do here but i do know what would happen to your relationship with your sister and even your parents sef if you do tell... It will be ugly, thats for sure...

Either way, her marriage is going to be over pretty soon. If you don't tell, she will leave her husband and end up with some cool cash. If you tell, its likely the husband will dump her without a penny besides child support...

I wish you the best, wouldnt want to be in your shoes right now.

Anonymous said...

Nothing is ever as it seems. You are under their roof as a guest, not to stir up trouble in their marriage. Get your education and move on with your own life when you can. All things eventually come to light, but please do not be the one to initate this. Let it go, and mind your own business.

Anonymous said...

Wow....tricky situation.

I say you find a way to INDIRECTLY tell the guy! U MUST TELL HIM...WHETHER SHE'S UR BLOOD OR NOT, IT IS VERY UNFAIR AND VICIOUS
WHAT SHE'S DOING/PLANNING TO DO!

I say dont tell him directly cos it may backfire on u esp if the man is whipped and endS up staying.
Create a new email address and send an anonymous email telling him to check his wiFe's phone (maybe when she is sleeping or so). You owe him that much at least honestly cos if u don't, u are an accessory to the evil ur sister is planning for him in the future....and u will live to regret it.

But ur sister must be the stupidest human being on earth to think that any young man would want to truly settle down with an older woman with 3 kids!!! It only happens with very rich women...and even at that it rarely lasts. She will certainly get it.

I feel so bad for the man....crazy how people are looking for good men and the one that actually has one is so unappreciative of him! chai.

Anonymous said...

Hi. You see there are certain risks u hav 2 take for the future good. hence i suggest u tell ur sistas hubby. im sure he'll take care of u still, in case ur afraid u'll have no where to stay. its hard but u have 2. pray to God for strength.

Anonymous said...

I think you should talk to your sister and point out if she is willing to jeopardise her marriage stability for a younger guy that is probably with her temporarily. What responsible young guy dates a married woman with 3 kids for keeps? And pray that God will o

Anonymous said...

Oh well...I'll pass! Nxt!

Anonymous said...

hummmmmmm oro sunukun oju sunukun lafin wo.if she goes to church talk to ur pastor ASK GOD FOR DIRECTION.

Anonymous said...

Go and get urself a job first and afterwards tell a member of ur family dat she really respects n would listen too. Who knows she might listen.

Anonymous said...

I have now words of advice ...as i am confused as well....but i will tell you that your sister is a big FOOL!!!!!...you have 3 kids, a good man, money and a comfortable life and you want to throw it all a way for a guy that has not even finished college?.....this is a case of allowing sex take over her brain!...what if the boy is using her...its the children i pity...ur sis is clearly not matured smh......its a pity she wont realise what she has till its late...

Anonymous said...

try n talk 2 her in a polite manner and also convince her over d other guy.***buasco***

Lilspicer said...

U beta advice her to stop and re-arrange her family no matter wat a woman must respect her husband...bfore she dance to the tunes of the gods(omo-iwo)says so...via blackberrybold.5

Zeba said...

Madam Tafia. Leave ur sister alone. let Karma catch up with her. Mind ur own business and go get a job. Ur not a kid. Go to sch and get a job and focus on ur life cos soon fowl yansh go burst. the hubby wld find out and send ur sis packing. You on the other hand have to be smart and go get a job.

Anonymous said...

Nobody can make you break a bad habit except God so pray on behalf of your sister that God should open her eyes to see the rewards of adultery. Tolese

Anonymous said...

She might want to start learning how to mind her business. If anything, she needs to speak to her sister. Talking to the husband or extended family is a one way ticket to getting thrown out the house anyway.

I don't support what her sister is doing at all, but she shouldn't put herself in the middle because things might not turn out the way she thinks and she could get blamed for everything. If it were me, I would talk to my sister or face front and mind my business. They did not put you in their house to be an aproko and if anything your loyalty should lie with your sister, always.

If u have to put mouth in their matter, go and speak to your sister. I don't think u should get involved though.

Ngozi said...

I would threaten her and tell her that I know what she's hiding. Tell her that if she kicks you out, you'll tell everyone about it. Talk to her and make her feel very guilty (by explaining the gem that she has as a husband and how he has done nothing to deserve that) and tell her how your mother could possibly have a heart attack if she hear this. Hopefully this helps her to feel some remorse and change. Also pray for her,that's the best you can do as a brother. No one is perfect and everyone falls, but help her to get up and stay strong.

Galore said...

You know What?........Dont Tell your Sisters husband,,,No dont......bcos u wud nt like the consequence.....Just liv her in her Sin,,,,,GOD will soon expose her.........

Anonymous said...

Is there anyone your sister has great respect for, someone in america too that can seat her down and talk to her? Let that person know, or tell her pastor to have a chat with her. But don't tell her husband. If that doesn't work, then you might have to let your mom know what you know. But its not your place to tell her husband

Anonymous said...

When the husband finds out through whatever means, you will also suffer because you are his wife's relation. He will not pity you, trust me. Best thing for you to do is to mind your business. Get off your ass and gain some independence. If you didn't live with them you wouldn't be so worried about your bro inlaw. But as he's your benefactor you're naturally torn. Work towards getting your own place. You would then be worried about paying your bills. And if your sis says she loves the anal from her bf then your bro in law is done mehn!

Anonymous said...

Kill ur sister

Anonymous said...

Pls just shut up ur mouth n leave them alone abeg

Anonymous said...

Seriously, i dont know wat to say, sum blogs r big thieves. I just saw this post on todaysgist and dey claimed this story...

Uju said...

How sure are you that her husband is not doing the same thing since he frequently travels back and forth to Nigeria. I'm not justifying what she's doing, but clearly he is not fully performing his manly duties and depriving her of her sexual needs that why she had to fill that need elsewhere. DO NOT do what you'll regret! What God has join together let no man put asunder. Telling him is not in your place. Just tell her to fess up to her husband, else you'll spill.

Anonymous said...

You are a good girl.Tell your sister that u want audience with her. Sit down with her and tell her , how much you love her and how confidential the discussion will be.After you win her trust,tell her your findings and fears.Remind her of her marital vows while not blaming her. Ask her to seek counselling before her husband finds out.

Anonymous said...

Keep ur big mouth shut, U wan put san san 4 another persn marriage?

candy said...

First of all i will advice you to leave your sisters husband out of this..are you crazy..are you trying to mess up her marriage...secondly i'll say talk to your sister about it..be bold..if she kicks you out fine..then her hubby would wonder why..pray for her..do not ever open your mouth to tell her hubby expect if you have plans of stealing her man...

Unknown said...

Truth? Mind ur business babe.. Whatever is hidden one day will surely come to light. If u feel ur silence is deafening, call ur sis and talk to her. If she refuses to heed, leave her alone. Cos if u tell her hubby and he gets heartbroken and dies or somehow she is able to clean her mess and dia is no evidence, what will u do? Let d hubby find out himself. U think ur sis will leave hubby for a younger college guy? Besides, hubby may know and just don't want his marriage over. Just close ur eyes to it..

Anonymous said...

What u observe between ur sis and her husband is what they allow u see - u never know what truly happens btw a couple behind closed bedroom doors. Not trying to excuse anyone of dem ere. You have no ryt to be d tell-tale to d husband, tread carefully or u may just become d villain ere.
Talk to ur sister and ur mother nd do not threaten to tell d husband. Be careful not to come across as being judgemental too
And of cos, say some prayers for d family. It's probably a phase and it'll pass

Anonymous said...

Wow! This is crazy, I totally understand your dilemma. I think he should know but coming from you it's going to seem evil. If you're sure if you talk to her she won't listen and even threaten you then how about set up an act to reveal everything in a way the source(you) won't be exposed. It still seems bad but he deserves to know, really. Especially as she plans to hurt him. My first thought would have been to talk to your parents, but you have already dismissed that. This is all I can come up with. Pray about it sha, it works!

Anonymous said...

Oga oooooo ..... It is tall!!!

Anonymous said...

A tough one indeed.You already assume what your sister's reaction will be,but you might just be totally wrong.All i know is that evil thrieves in secrecy.My worry is that you may not have a proof because you said you saw a letter.What happened to the letter afterwards?Another question is why is your sister doing this?Tell your sister that you know whats up and hear what she has to say.You can then take it from there.All the best.

Anonymous said...

Tell your mom. You will be doing a great disservice if you don't. The marriage might break up if you do not tell.

Victor Chijioke. said...

U sure hv a conscience. She's ur sis bt u dn't support her wrong deeds. U lik d hus cos he's gud 2 u n ur family. U owe him a moral obligation. Talk 2 him, u culd save him, ur sis n d marriage. While u do dis, put ev tin in God's hand, n u'll find God's hand in ev tin. Good luck 2 U.

tee said...

four words, none of your business. It's not ur place to tell the husband , talk to ur,sis. If not...it's still none of ur business

Anonymous said...

I think u should talk to your sister first and her reaction will determine what next. Be wise ok

Anonymous said...

Well, how sure are you of the husband been so good??....just asking incase he has skeleton in his Wardrobe too. If not, the truth will eventually be told even if later or if he gets to know himself. I will say move out, secure yourself first. Get a job, have things covered if possible because spilling the truth will affect cash flow/financial support from your brother-in-law. Then, tell your Parents when they are in a good mood and stuff. You can tell your Dad first. I know women are too emotional and just break down easily. Let your PARENTS TALK TO HER AND WHATEVER DECISION THEY COME UP TO. BY THAT TIME, YOUR SISTER WOULD HAVE REALIZED YOU KNOW. Then, spill the beans to her in the most loving way or via letter. Let her see the bad in what she's doing and open her eyes to let her appreciate what she has now. Don't condemn her. Let her know because you love her so much and her husband likewise, that's why you talking to her about it. If she doesn't listen and situation gets worse. Then, finally tell the guy. From your description about him, if he so so much loves his wife, he won't throw her out or divorce her. He would stand by her and help her stop those bad habits and jilt the younger bf. Let him be in his right frame of cause and in a good mood. Maybe, someone not in the house and when the wife is not present. Sit him down and let him understand too so he can act and handle the matter maturely.
Please pray for God's wisdom and direction before embarking on this. God bless!!

Anonymous said...

Count your teeth with your tongue oh! You sef know the answer- why waste space asking?

Next pls!

amy said...

Hmmmm.cnfused.wld b beta 2 leave tins d way dey r.let her husband find tins out himself.its beta dat way.cos if u do,u r hurting urself,ursista n her hubby.he is in positn 2 find out even if it takes yrs.d truth is Ϟ☺ mata hw hard u tend 2 hide tins.Karma wld alwz cm up.buh. Sha ur sis is a greedy,foolish n stupid bitch

Anonymous said...

thats a good question...she is your sister but then again what she is doing is wrong...yes u love her and it is the love u have for her that should move u to let her know that she is doing the wrong thing and that she should stop...sit her down on an occasion and tell her regardless of whether or not she gets mad at u...if she continues, without telling her husband directly...do sty to expose her...so that she knows that everyday for thief one day fr the owner of the house...
POOR MAN..this is what happens;u get something good and u don't appreciate it...u get sty bad and then they start complaining that all men are the same and bad...SMH..

Anonymous said...

Mind your bussiness is what you should do.

Anonymous said...

honestly? mind ur bizz!!!!!! e no concern u.

Obie said...

Can't believe what am reading here?..she should mind her buisness? So her sister will wreck d man abi?..and we wonder y couples murdering each other is on d rise these days..mscheeww

Anonymous said...

well just try find a way to seduce her husband take him to bed and make sure u perform outstandingly,then tell him what is happening and that he should divorce ur sister first then marry u while ur sister marries her gigolo boy friend. chikena! very simple

Anonymous said...

Plant the evidence for your sister's husband to find himself or some sot of set up.. shekena

Anonymous said...

If u r not prepared to get a life of your own don't try to talk your sister out of this cos she's past redemption. U don't owe your parents or the husband any revelation either. Just scratch your sisters conscience if u r up to it. Otherwise shhhh!

Anonymous said...

babe it's obvious ur sis is attractd 2guy bcos of sex try talk 2 her nd if she doesnt listen try find d guy nd set him up wit anoda gal so as 2 save ur sistas marriage bcos ur sis is getn good fuck 4rm him nd in exchange givn him money.

Anonymous said...

She shouldn't stay wt her own sister?like re u for real?am sure u cheat on ur husband.u re a brainless animal!God will punish u very well.asswipe...TONI

Obie said...

Nigerians are d worst advisers! How can ppl say"mind ur buisness"?...1.tell ur sis,if she does not repent..2.tell ur parents..if there is no remorse from her.3.tell her husband and salvage ur consience..dis marriage is headed for d rocks anyway..better save ur sis b4 her name is written with her blood on someone's machete!!

Anonymous said...

I love me some MAXIMUS™. chai, i always gbadun your comments oh.

Anonymous said...

find a way to take over ur sister's husband with this u can save him because his life is in danger,ur sister will poison that man one day,because it's very glaring that she can kill,sex is not everything. but since she's ungrateful she don't deserve anything good from her husband.........take over ur sister's husband(that is if u re not going to be worse than ur sister). make sure u help him catch ur sister on the act(red handed) it will help him with the divorce case.

Cee_Bill said...

Gurl,u shud talk to ur sister about this. Reporting her to her husband is the wrongest approach to "solving" this issue(if really that is your intention-truth be told,you don't seem/sound like one who sincerly wants d case settled). If she's got a conscience,she'll correct her errs even though she tells you off and seems nonchalant about it(well of course,being egocentric is expected of her). So,do this and give her time to right her wrongs.
Cheers!

Anonymous said...

SEE COMMENTATOR OF LIB,IF IT WAS A GUY GUILTY OF THIS OFFENCE I CANT IMAGINE HOW YOU PEOPLE WILL BE RAINING CURSE ON THE GUY BUT BECAUSE ITS A WOMAN INVOLVED ALMOST EVERYONE IS SAYING KEEP SHUT AND MOST OF YOU AINT BLAMING THE WOMAN..MY ADVICE TO YOU GIRL TELL YOUR SIS AND MAKE HER UNDERSTAND YOU KNOW WHAT SHE IS DOING AND YOU MIGHT EVEN ADVICE HER AND SHE MIGHT COME BACK TO HER RIGHT SENSE..TAKE AM SOFLY OO CUZ THIS ISSUE PUT A BAD TASTE IN THE MOUTH

Anonymous said...

ONOME says........
Your sister is doing something really really terrible and she deserves to be "punished":(
WHO THE HELL MADE YOU THE PUNISHER???

Mind your business and leave her to sort out her marriage the way she deems fit,She is not your child nor does she need guidance from you that is being housed,fed etc by her and her husband.You are not happy about this terrible thing she is doing,then walk away from their house.Marriage is technical.Dont be the one to do "marriage counsellor"

Just my own take.Your sister is something else.

Frenchie said...

Lol you are very funny!
What do you know about commitment, fidelity or marriage? Nothing at all! Trust me but you'll learn in time!
You describe your sister with crude words you're actually bitter and jealous of her because you feel she made a good marriage and is being ungrateful. So your brother in law is rich, good to your family, a good christian and has never done any wrong. Plus he even gives your sister and YOU lots of money. He is buying you period! And he certainly knows his wife’s flaws better than you.
Don't be deceived by appearances!
What make you think you know him well? Didn't you write he is travelling a lot? What if he is cheating too? What if he has children and a wife somewhere else? You sister might be aware of something she never told you.
Instead of acting all self-righteous and jealous you better start minding your business. Besides if you tell anything to your brother in law he will throw all of you out of his house. In that case I hope you have a plan B. Where will you get money?

Nonya said...

Tales by moonlight...

Kids: Aunty please tell us a story

Aunty Nkem: Okay kids. Once upon a time, there was a tortoise......

Yawn yawn

Anonymous said...

Dodoyo, and who told u her family is d only one on earth goin tru dis?

Obie said...

Women are quick to claim victims..dey are just as sexist as men...maybe even worse!

Anonymous said...

FROM THE COMMENTS YOU CAN TELL THE PEOPLE TELLING HER TO KEEP SHUT ARE THE KINDA WIVES THAT CHEAT ON THEIR HUSBANDS, LATER YOU PPLE WOULD SAY ALL MEN ARE CHEATS..( I AM A WOMAN).....I AM SORRY FOR YOU PEOPLE....GIRL TALK SOME SENSE TO UR SIS...SHE DOESNT KNOW WHAT SHE HAS

Anonymous said...

Oponu! Scatter which home? Did u nt read d part whr she said her sis actually plans on leaving her husband n gettn half hs property! Is d married woman nt planning 2 ruin her marriage alry! Mumu

Anonymous said...

Nsogwu, chai!!!, maturity is actually not by number of yrs. My dear ur sis is just reasoning like a 1st yr student in d university. Hw can she let sexual excitement rub hr off hr marriage? Pls just let ur sis know dat a bird at hr hand now worth 13 million of dat kind she is running afta in the bush. Ekewu cha gokwam

Anonymous said...

a few things to consider

1) you have been there for two years thus you don't know what the relationship was like before.

2)He is an older man right? what if he is one of those Mr "keeping up appearances" dash everybody money and smile so the don't second guess me? what if hes got his own skeleton in hos cupboard

3)Hard to belief but it may even be an open marriage. I mean what if he knows and he is waiting for a full cup?

4)I hope you have not become pre-ocuppied with their lives! because you say you saw a letter and Im sure the letter was not kept in the open where her husband could also have seen it. "you went to look for evidence and you found it abi?Jewo!
4b) I know you may feel bad for holding the truth, but search yourself and ask the real reason why you want to tell! Then look for a better approach. I don't advice that you tell your parents just yet. they would rather hear of marital trouble from the horses mouth. in fact, if they decide to ask her "ngbo, your sister said.... o tan fun e oh!

5) forget about the handouts uncle is giving you. what did you plan to do on arrival upon the USA? Education, Job.. do something, volunteer work?, be your own self! so that if anything sele, you fit stand

6) telling her husband should never be your first option, many resons why
I) our sister is your own blood, your personal person you should ask God(if you believe) to give you an opportunity to open up to her. You wont believe why she does some of the things she does,I don't think it is outright rebellion especially when she has 3 kids. You don't know if the man married her as a trophy wife"
II) if no body believes you, na you go look like the devil so dont earn yourself the home wrecker tag

7) I know how you feel, been there before! Just support and love the kids as much as you can. it seems like their dad is not alays in the scene.

8) try not to change towards your big sis "love the hell out of her" pray for love cos it may not come easy. Go out of your way to make conversation, complement her, this will make her more secure and open around her.

9) Don't think of yourself as an "about to be hero". "If i tell, i would be helping him"... the truth is many people have different ideas of what marriage should be and hat commitment is. You don't know your sister and her husbands idea so thinking you will save the husband because he is a good person may just be your wrong judgement"

10)If they have a problem with what either of them is doing, let it come out from their own mouths. pray for God to work something out! the age old saying that no one can come in between a marriage is always right! your help in telling him may just destroy the family" entire family" including the innocent children

I am not asking you to not tell the truth if the opportunity comes.. please do but just change your approach, check your motive! sit and think, don't be hasty to make history or save the day, have a good plan that will result in little damage

stay strong baby and don fall in love with your uncle and start to save the day , ahem :) this is a common pity party move. beware of it. hold yourself.
find a hobby
occupy :)
peace

Anonymous said...

I think you should narrate to your sis a story about a certain married woman who is cheating on her husband who is so good to her. From her response you'll know what is going on in her head and I believe that way you'll know what next steps to take. Good luck but no matter what please don't tell her husband. There are kids involved and you don't want to ruin their lives.

Tonye.

Anonymous said...

Whether u tell or not, u sis has alrdy made up her mind 2 leave her husband n part wit half of hs wealth. Jst turn a blind eye 2 d thns ur sis is doin, cuz if u tell on her ur whole family may blame n hate u 4 breakn up a marriage d@ was alrdy headn 4 d rocks. Dnt b d 1 2 ruin ur sis marriage! She's alrdy doin it herself.

Anonymous said...

A word is enough for the WISE. Please, just look the other way. If yawa bursts, your ass is out on the street with your sister and her 3 children. Do you want your nieces/nephews out on the street? Answer naw! Leave it alone and Let God do His job dear.

Anonymous said...

Lol...do u know what the guy is doing behind her back?....am not saying she is right but you don't put ur mouth in people's marriage.nothing is hidden under the sun.just play the fifth baby

Anonymous said...

shut up ur mouth, amebo! na u dey the marriage.you want to scatter anoda persons marriage. let ur sis do the telling jare.

Anonymous said...

No offence but as the first to comment, you are such a retard. So cheating and scheming to rip off an innocent guy is cool right? Remeber, Karma is a bitch that never forgets your address.

sugarbear said...

*confused state* I v neva been so unable 2 give a suggestion. This one is hard oo.. What I suggest is for you to act like u dnt stay with ur sis cos if u were nt in yankee with her,she ll still be doing all of dis stuff nd whateva happens at d end will happen. So act like u see nuffin. If eventually her husband finds out,ur sis will have to dance to d music. Jst save ur money,steal money frm ur sis cos if u dnt she ll giv 2 her bf den get ready for d worse. Get urslf a job.

iamfascinating said...

Its truly not your business, best you can do is pray.If you feel the need to talk, talk to your sis only and better dont sound judgemental becus you are not walking her shoes and your perception of her hubby or her maybe totally wack. Pray and start to get your own money. Free bed and board maybe clouding your thoughts too. Get empowered. It is well,


Olay Regenerist, Likas soap and Diana Stalder Papaya soap now available at www.thestunninglady.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

I think you should just keep it to urself, there's a big chance tht it will backfire in ur face if u mention it to ur brother in law. Its a lose lose situation if u confront either one of them tbh. Jus let it be and pray about it... :-)

Anonymous said...

Lmaooo great advice smh!

Deyinka Onabanjo said...

Lwkmd @tule tule!!!

Anonymous said...

Wow onome so ur this daft afterall! Ahahaha dummy.. My dear tlk to ur damn sister !! If she doesn't listen then just wait and see what karma can do!

Anonymous said...

Olodo did u see any names there? Or is she d only 20yr old wit a sis dat has 3kids in the whole of America?

Mcfreezy said...

Lyndalicious, I know u will not post my comment , nawti gurl!!!! Anyway my comment is simple, just obey the word of God which says that "wot God has put together let no man put asunder". There r a lot of secrets btw husband and wife that third parties are not privy to. U don't know how they lived before u started livin with them. For all u know d husband might be aware of her excesses but turned a deaf ear cos he has his own runs in 9ja! He might even have a medical condition that has made it impossible for him to get it up in bed! Just know that in marriage all is not always as it seems so my dear just stay out of it. Even though I do not support wot ur sister is doin, just let it be and God will surely expose her. If u can't handle it then move out but for ur own good pls don't rock the boat. Good luck!!!!

Anonymous said...

This is a very sensitive issues nd if not carefully handled it will tear the family apart, but I will advised that ur brother in law should know but not directly from u,if there is a way u will drop any of the evidence that u have to proof this matter for him to see it that will settle the whole issue so it will look as if he discovered it by himself, but again make sure that ur sister should not know u have such evidence and don,t confront her cos if u do and in future if the husband discover she will say u told the husband and if u tell the husband some how he will let the whole family know that u told him. any how God will protect and help u cos he sees ur heart.

Aston said...

honestly, do u think her husband wont know these things? she may think she's playing a fast one on the guy but I'm sure deep down he knows her and what she is capable of doing. i think you shld not get involved, but shey u know one day when it comes out, they will say u nu all this while and u dint say anythin to any one. Madam just chill and look away mehn thats all! Its too controversial to want to expose ur sis except u set her up! indirectly.

Anonymous said...

Find a way to let the cat out without anyone knowing it was you. ur sis na winsh o

Anonymous said...

Don't interfere in other people's marriage. Full stop! Is that what brought you to America?

Anonymous said...

LMAO MAXIMUS HAHAHAHAHAHAAHHA HOLD UR LIPS PIM!! HHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

loisy said...

I cant believe u said that! Even though i believe families shd strongly be nuclear, dis case is not one for u to say what u did? so she's wrong to notice her sister's cheating, and sayin it makes her a bad person? Na wa o!

POSH SAID... said...

MMMMMMM...*CLEARING MY THROAT*. I REALLY DO UNDERSTAND U, BUT WHAT MATTERS NOW IS UR CONSCIENCE, THE RIGHT THING TO DO AND THE BEST WAY TO REMOVE THE BURDEN FROM UR SELF.

FIRSTLY, U HAVE TO TALK TO YOUR SISTER IN A POLITE MANNER, GIVING HER REASONS TO SAY NO TO SUCH DIRTY LIFE,

SECONDLY, YOU HAVE TO LET HER REMEMBER THE REASONS WHY SHE MARRIED THE MAN, WHY SHE FELL IN LOVE AND HOW LOVING THE MAN IS.

THIRDLY, IF YOU WANT THE BEST FOR YOUR SISTER NEVER DISCLOSE THE DIRTY ACT TO YOUR IN-LAW..IF NOT...UR OWN DON END BE DAT OOOOO...NT JST WITH YOUR SIS BUT WIF FAMILY N FRIENDS.

JST PLAY YOUR OWN PART AND LEAVE THE REST TO GOD BY PRAYING COS DATZ D MAIN REMEDY TO YOUR SITUATION.

Anonymous said...

you mean involve the whole village in this matter what a stupid piece of advice is this? She should talk to the sis then of it bears no fruit, tell the man full stop! Pastors wife aka the main gossip nko? Hisssssss!!!

Anonymous said...

Dis is my advise for u...dnt u dare tell her husband plus u need to tink more abt ur sister 1st b4 her husband bcos she's ur sister.I once played Mr. nice guy by tellin my best friend a secret all because i want d best for him. I regret tellin him afterwards, To let u knw we r now enemies. So dnt dare tel him if u dnt want to regret for d rest of ur life.

Anonymous said...

Keep your mouth shut and look for a job so that when they separate or what ever you can fend for yourself.

Anonymous said...

DIPLOMATICALLY ADDRESS UR SISTER IF YOU MUST... BUT YOU BETTER NOT TELL HER WHAT HER HUSBAND IS DOING..OR THEY WILL BOTH TURN AGAINST YOU...MOST MARRIED PPL DONT WANT TO HEAR THE TRUTH..THIS IS BIGGER THAN YOU...UR GOAL SHOULD BE TO MOVE OUT OF THEIR HOUSE...

nunulicious said...

1. get concrete evidence. 2. either speak to your sister or a neutral third party that she respects...preferably someone who is elderly and discreet. 3. reaffirm your love to your sister and play the moral responsibility card...she's a mother, married woman etc and perhaps this is some middle age kind of crisis 4. if all this fails, keep quiet and hold your peace or 5. speak to your mom about it. That is what i would do.

Anonymous said...

I dont know nythin bout this but i believe in d saying 'hurt me with d truth but do not satisfy me with a lie'.now put urself in d shoes of d man.wud u not want to know this kind of info.d only prob i see here is that its u dat has to deliver d bad news of which with discreetness n intelligence that can be avoided.when uve accomplished that.u then pray that the man makes the ryt decision.never cover up sin.

Anonymous said...

QF
Jst advise her to change and wateva she decides to do wit ur advise is entirely her bizness. Dont interfere in their marriage else ull be burdened wit d consequence of outcom 4d rest of ur lyf.

Jay O said...

Keep family OUT of it. How can you talk to her husband without talking to your sister 1st. Pray and ask the Holy Spirit for the right words and approach your sister out of love. It is NOT your place to shout at her, if you approach wrongly, it can get confrontational and she can be very defensive. Have a meaningful discussion with her. If all else fails, approach your pastor (if you have one), and one that can keep it all personal.
Dont get too many ppl involved, whether na other fam members!

Anonymous said...

Don't mind the babe lol

Anonymous said...

Now that's the best Advice so far

Anonymous said...

Don't mind the babe lol

Nosa said...

JUDGE NOT, THAT YE TOO MAY NOT BE JUDGED!!!

Your sister is an adult and is making her bed, allow her to lie on it. Learn from her how you do not wish to live your life but She has extended a hand of help and support to you... do not repay her with wickedness. PRAY for your sister that she will see the error in her ways...BUT MIND YOUR BUSINESS and do not make her regret her decision to help you.

Try to develop a very solid relationship with your sister and maybe she will confide in u but whatever the case DO NOT PLAY GOD WITH 5 LIVES. BE WISE...IT IS PROFITABLE TO DIRECT.

Btw, y were u snooping through her phone now you have a burden on ur heart... u really should not have done that.

Anonymous said...

Chai! Women! Thank God for LIB exposing naija women for what they really are - hypocrites!

If it was the hubby banging one small opeke, we would have read tons upon tons of curses and insults on the man. But see our ladies advising the OP to 'mind her business' and hush up her sista's iniquity. Some are even justifying her act b/c the hubby could not meet her sexual needs.

Women! Your name is hypocrisy! Am sure most of you are adulteresses too.

Anonymous said...

snd an anonymous msg 2 a close frnd of her husband so he can be tipped on wat is happening and nobody will av an idea dat its was u. shikenah

kome said...

Nice one Simja!I totally agree with ur first suggestion and I strongly believe she will adjust....

kome said...

Abi o?to ur last sentence....

Truth Hurts said...

young lady,me thinks you should tell him.lets look at dis from anoda perspective,the guy she's whoring herself to,if his sister presented this same story to dis blog,dis same people advising you not to tell will advice her to announce ur sisters name on every radio station just to protect the guy's wife(lets assume he has one).i hope you get my drift.what does dis have to do with"tule tule".someone is cheating on her husband and some are saying the sane person is trying to break her sisters marriage.d marriage is already broken,just d husband dat doesnt see it yet.may we all not have to contend with the issues of a cheating spouse,anyone who says Amen to dis prayer wants you to tell your sisters husband.he has bin good enough.you'll always sort yourself out eventually but you would have done the ryt thing and ur conscience would be clear.

Anonymous said...

PRAY AND KEEP PRAYING. IF YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO PRAY, YOU HAVE TO LEARN IT NOW. PRAY AND ASK GOD TO CHANGE YOUR SISTER AND SAVE HER MARRIAGE. EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE WITH GOD.

Anonymous said...

I'm VERY SURPRISED at how many people said "keep your mouth shut". That just shows the lack of integrity among people today.

Not saying anything doesn't change the truth. Young lady, I will advise you to speak to a pastor if you know one. The Bible says there is safety in the multitude of counsel. Not just any counsel from these comments but seek godly counsel. I wish you all the best.

Anonymous said...

My own advice will be for you to confront your sister, let her know that you know what's going on. Have a heart to heart talk without threats or blames. Remind her of the good things she has in her life- a loving husband and beautiful kids. Help her to see what she stands to lose in the whole situation. She is obviously blinded by her sexual desires. The other guy might just be using her to pay off his college tuition. Also, I know how obligated you feel towards your sister's husband, but do not make the mistake of telling him. Because when the storm blows over, you will be blamed for breaking up the marriage. In the mean time, start looking for a job and a friend to put up with.

Anonymous said...

My own advice will be for you to confront your sister, let her know that you know what's going on. Have a heart to heart talk without threats or blames. Remind her of the good things she has in her life- a loving husband and beautiful kids. Help her to see what she stands to lose in the whole situation. She is obviously blinded by her sexual desires. The other guy might just be using her to pay off his college tuition. Also, I know how obligated you feel towards your sister's husband, but do not make the mistake of telling him. Because when the storm blows over, you will be blamed for breaking up the marriage. In the mean time, start looking for a job and a friend to put up with.

Anonymous said...

I agreed wiv u becos sooner or later d hubby will find out nd u r nt in d position to tell ur broda inlaws.frm wot ve read she's already carry away wiv wot she's doin nd Everyday is 4 d thief one day is 4 d owner. But pls call ur sista nd advice her.Good man is hard to find nowadays. She shuld appreciate wot she have b4 smbdy else will take it frm her. Also, r u sure u dnt want him too???? D way u emphasis his generosity...becos i dnt trust girls of age they can do undo.

buzz said...

Lol....d elder sis wud know, but other parties can only suspect

Anonymous said...

Don't tell. If u do, the Beginning of an End would come and trust me..... The fight is b/w u nd ur sister.

Temple

Eze said...

Serious dilemma here! First of all if you notice any wrong doing and you let anyone die in his or her wrong doing, God will also hold you responsible.(I have forgotten the scripture but its in the bible).Try and talk to your sister about the evil she is doing ,she is your blood sis,be open to her,you are family, BUT do not snitch OR play undercover make her husband find out by setting a scenario up, acting ignorance.To be honest your sister is EVIL, pure Jezebel tendencies. Telling the husband will destroy her marriage rather find ways of saving it.

Anonymous said...

9jadeltapikin... 4 me fine a pastor or a true coundellor Τ̅☺ tell dat will bring her Τ̅☺ other n anoda Ȋ̊§ better U̶̲̥̅̊ do ds thng early cos even d guy might b a 419 boy that will wnt U̶̲̥̅̊я sister Τ̅☺ divoce her husband collect part of d husband property then he swindle U̶̲̥̅̊я sister α̲̅πϑ run away then U̶̲̥̅̊я sister will βε̲̣̣̣̥ satuck S̶̲̥̅Ơ̴̴̴̴̴̴͡ d earlier d better U̶̲̥̅̊ voice out.

temi said...

Anon 7:58pm. I can't believe you. Am amaze at your comment. Haba.

I will advise she shouldn't tell her husband or anyone but find a way to advise her sister in a way that won't upset her.

Anonymous said...

If truly that guy has bn good to ya family and to your sis then I think u need to let him know .If u want to let out the truth be ready for the consequences, anything that happens to you is the price you need to pay for that KIND MAN and I know for sure he will appreciate it .

Anonymous said...

De Myk says U asswipes re saying he shld keep shut... pple will be hurt....U want to break a home?....blablabla blobloblo. All these because it's one you- A woman and not a man- cheating. By the time she's thru with her plans, won't pple get hurt? Or would there still be a marriage. Bloody baggers. #hisss#

LALICIOUS said...

TONI,why u isulting him/her,,,its d truth,if she wasn't in her home,she wont become a detective,going thru her sister's privacy'phone,letter
,,,do u kno anytin abt their sexual life?? Mayb her hubby Ȋ̝̊̅§ ogbolo,,,,money can't buy sexual satisfaction so she needed 2 get it else where lolz
Or she Ȋ̝̊̅§ no more inluv wiv her hubby,,,its A̷̷̴̐͠ tin of d hrt!
Or its A̷̷̴̐͠ phase 2 make her life more exciting
Hmmmmmmmmmmmm shld I advice u let her b?? NO!!! Cos she wnts 2 divorce her hubby becos of an ass fucker,,
Talk 2 her,advice her 2 cont wiv d relationship but keep her marriage cos of her children dat she wll soon get ova d boy nd dat she shld thank U later 4 d advice.....yeah'rollin my eyez'
If u or any1 tries 2 force her out,things might stir up,,cos she believes she luvs d guy...? no

Anonymous said...

It seems like you are jealous of your sister and you secretly want her husband!If you really love your sister, prayer for her and leave it in God's hands.

IT IS NOT YOUR PLACE TO TELL THE HUSBAND...REMEMBER, YOUR SISTER IS THE ONE THAT MADE YOU SEE AMERICA!LOYALTY GOES ALONG WAY....PRAY FOR HER!!!AND ALSO YOU CAN SPEAK TO HER ABOUT IT.

I ALSO SENCE THAT YOU ARE NOT CLOSE TO HER. YOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE THOUGHTS OF BETRAYING YOUR SIS! THE WORLD DON FINISH SHA.

Soti said...

Just write your sis an anonymous letter and tell her you know what she's and that you'll report her to her husband if she does not discontinue the relationship, and if she still continues, that means she doesn't care about being exposed. So, that's your cue to also write an anonymous letter to her husband and report her. #Shikena. Cheating on your spouse is wrong, whether male or female; especially if the said spouse has done nothing wrong to warrant such.

Anonymous said...

Her sister is cheating on her husband and shez not cool wif it,and u r calling her names.u r disgrace too womanhood.

Mr Kogberegbe said...

Na wah for this babe o! With all dem accolade you're throwing at your sister's husband, I suspect say you don dey eye your sister husband or the man don dey touchlight your website...lol. Looks like you can't wait to take her position in that house. Be truthful... I don't believe it's the man's "niceness" that makes you wanna tell but you wish the man was your man and you want him badly. Haba!!! Your sister is your blood and you shouldn't plot her downfall, instead call her to order and inform your parents about the happenings and start consulting God on her behalf. Save your sister's marriage and not put asunder what God has joined together. Every marriage has its own challenge, you could have done worse if you were in her position. Let him/her without sin be the first to cast a stone...

Anonymous said...

Like many others have said: keep your mouth closed.

At nearly three decades, I've come to realize that I should never, ever, EVER put myself in the middle of someone else's relationship. Even if I'm invited to mediate a problem, I hesitate ooo...

This story as narrated is very tricky/messy. Therefore, mind your business so things don't blow up in your face.

Your brother-in-law is not stupid. If he's not suspicious now, your sister's secret will come out sooner or later or she'll come to her senses.

In summary:
1. Close your mouth
2. Get a job so you can support yourself
3. PRAY

***Lush

Soti said...

All of you saying she shouldn't report her sister so she wouldn't "break her home", did y'all read the part about her sister wanting to "divorce" her husband, get half of his money and elope with the said bf? That means, she, the sister, is already ready to break her happy home just for a mere 6-inch (size open to dispute). If she wants to break her home because of a man, she should leave with nothing cos she deserves nothing. It is one thing to cheat on your spouse and it is another thing to slander him/her in front of your lover and plan to break your home because of him or her, cos that boy might still end up damaging that woman's life. Secondly, i'm very sure if any of you were in the husband's postion, male or female, you would like to be kept on the know about such atrocious activity going right under your nose, wouldn't you? It means that woman never loved her husband and possibly married him for his money, which most of ladies and gentlemen are guilty of today, Thirdly, the husband is old right? What if he ends up dying of a heart attack or if possible stroke, because of what she's done? What would y'all say? THINK ABOUT THAT BEFORE YOU START RANTING.

Anonymous said...

LOL@ tule tule. where do u guys come up wt such funny stuffs???

Anyway, it would be crazy to tell ur inlaw or a friend to threaten ur sis like a dumb reader suggested! its a no brainer, cos u'd be shooting urself i d foot.

i had an issue wt my sis, not like urs though, but had to do wt infidelity of some sort, which involved my sis. I spoke to my sis first about it, but after awhile, i spoke to my mum, and everything was sorted. IT HAS TI STAY IN THE FAMILY!

Anyway, speak to ur sis, or better still write her a letter, cos being 10yrs older, u myt not be able to rly speak to her. so write her a note, and instruct her to tear or burn after reading! let her know how you feel.

Take good care.

Anonymous said...

Linda.goog morning where's my comment

Nekky said...

pls don't mind ur business cos dis is ur sister u are talking about. don't tell anyone(mom, dad, friend, cousin, brother in law) just yet. pray 1st then in d most respectful and subtle manner,tell ur dear sis that u r in the know. beg her in the name of anything that matters to her to desist from her evil ways. tell her that u might be younger buh u certainly know dat d consequences of her actions can be drastic and she'll live to regret it if her hubby shld ever find out. let her think about her children,d rare gift of a hubby God has blessed her with, your parents and in laws. let her think of how disappointed everybody will be if they find out. let her not forget where she's coming from and whatever she thinks she has wiv d younger guy is emphemeral and it won't last. but whatever happens,i don't think its in ur place to let d husband know but if u feel dat he shouldn't know den threaten ur sis that u'll tell not just her hubby buh the entire family and darn the consequences. i just pray she realises her mistake n make changes b4 its too late. meanwhile i hope u didn't use the real facts in telling d story like ur location,d number of kids ur sis has n all that. anyone who knows u can easily put 2 and 2 togeda. cheers girl

Anonymous said...

God will take control

Anonymous said...

Talk to your sister 1st polity, tell her u know wats up. Αñð dat she should behave her self or u will let d cat out of d bag, ask her if she thinks she can ve a future with her flet. Tell her to come back to her senses or both ΰя parients αñð her husband will hear d full gist. Threten her 1st

Very Gud Badt Guy said...

Reminds me of one time I had some issues with my gf & which made her to start giving audience to one of her toasters. Guess wat I did? I got a new sim card & sent her a text msg, impersonating a female & warned her that if she doesn't leave my bf alone I'll bath her wit acid, since she's decided to join d numerous oda gals dragging him wit me. Lol. Mehn it worked like magic, I spoil d guy runz, she ran frm d guy & came back to me fully. Lol. Now dat waz a cool way of goin abt it without her knowing I was involved. There's nothing people fear more than d unknown. My dear I'd suggest dat u get an anonymous email addy & send ur sis an email impersonating anoda female, make her feel u got all her details & her husband's details, she'd be scared to death. Even make her feel u hv pix of dem in d act & threaten to blackmail her... Jst do wateva wud scare d shit outta her, I tell u, she'll beg God if she eva gets outta dis one, she won't cheat again. Dat way, ​u'll achieve dsame feat without being openly involved & without bringin in her husband. Best of luck...

Anonymous said...

All you lying and cheating Nigerians can't even give genuine advice.On Sunday you will all pack your bags and go and speak in tongue in Church.in fairness I don't have a solution but I think you need to talk to your sister first b4 you take any other action period.

OnPoint! said...

Here lies the problem with Nigerians...! dis lady asked for advise and all dese clueless people are here calling her ode, why? for having a conscience? i bet some staff of DANA wer shouted down wen dey complained about dat flying coffin and was cautioned not to blow d whistle and pray! even wen God has allowed us to see d wrong and find out a way to right it...sad...
my der ders a reason why God allowed you to know about ur sisters silliness, talk to her about it, advise her and tell her dat dat young boy will end up taking dat same house she's planning to take from her husband from her... grow a brain some of dese LIB readers...! if dis lady was her sister-in-law wld u still advise her not to do anything? dats why i alway advise nigerian men to quit looking for a very young wife cos as time goes u'll be old and boring for ur young wife, not even money will make u interesting...!

Anonymous said...

More wisdom to u dear.u are great

chituru said...

common guys, you cant possibly be insulting someone who just poured her heart ot here, due to confusion pls!!!hw can u say she shld 'mind her business'?dats being very insensitive.
Please, my dear the best advice is that u shld look for the best way possible to tell ur sister. u need to apply wisdom here ccuz wisdom is profitable to direct. we can only hope that she listens to you. once you've done that, leave the rest to God, cuz he always knows what to do.

Anonymous said...

Pls no insults here,everybody send in there problem here so why I u calling her ode.. If u don't have an ansa,read and pass abeg.. Some people can be annoying ten much

Anonymous said...

My dear, what is at stake is how best to save your sister. I have gone through what everyone had written and all i hear is leave your sister to self destruct. She had been, and is still nice to you save for her actions that you now know of. My advise is that you walk up to your sisters husband, sit him down and tell him you have something to tell him about your sister. If he truly is the man you said he is, he will feel pain, betrayed and whatever adjective you can come up with to describe his disappointment. However, he will want to save his marriage, whatever is left of his integrity and lastly his wife whom he loves. Tell him everything you know and ask for his help in saving your sister. Perhaps both of you can hatch a plan to catch her in the act, then she will be sober enough to listen. But until she is caught, its just your words against hers. The good thing about it all is that even if you are thrown out of the house and you do not have a job to fend for yourself, your conscience will set you free and you will be happier than you will ever be if you lived in that house without sharing what you know. The truth is better than a lie or its copy.

Anonymous said...

All of you saying she should shut her mouth. Imagine if you thought you had a perfect marriage and your sibling knows your husband is cheating on you. Would you want tour sibling to tell you or just keep shut?

Olubabafemi:D said...

So, even if something had happened between the couple before the sister came into the picture.....then ADULTERY could be judged!

#I know you are a woman who's been doing that for long and I pray that your hubby catches you, slides your throat and dump your "rubbished" Vgay in the Lagos lagoon.#

insensitive commenter.

Anonymous said...

Mind your own business and shut the f**k up! Talk and be thrown out. You may find yourself at Murtala Mohammed Airport in Lagos via deportation.

Why did your sister's husband marry a young woman that he cannot satisfy sexually? That is the price most men like that have to pay.

I am aware that my sister-in-law is cheating on my brother but I can never tell him because it would ruin their marriage and people would blame me. Why did he marry a sex mad woman that is not his age group? She once told me that he spent too may hours working.

Sex is the root of all evil. Most modern Nigerian women would do anything for a man that can lick them clean, unlike some old fashioned Nigerian men that think oral sex is dirty. Oral sex can drive a woman crazy. Money is not everything.

Anonymous said...

Jst send ur bro-in-law an anonymous msg stating evrytn&teln him to talk with his wife to ammend any issues btwn them.

Olubabafemi:D said...

Oh!
If the MAN hadn't been so good to their family....I am sure it wouldn't have bothered her. Yes!

The husband is already a 'dead-man-walking-unconciously' all over the streets.

He may be poisoned sooner than expected!

He may be shot dead in something that looks like accident OR attack by unidentified gun men!

He may be set-up and sent to "so-many-years" in jail till God knows when!

He may get affected with incurrable ailments; STDs OR even HIV ( A death sentence )!

She might even loose her life on the process of being PROMISCUOUS!

LIB advisers, think about the above and send comments again.

## I uncomment my reserve ##

Anonymous said...

If u mix lust for love, I hope to God u don't treat ur husband or wife that way someday. The sister has 3 kids for a man she calls her husband and a distraction comes along the way nd u call it love, cos even the person involved is stupid enough not to realise she is throwing away her future. Not men alone think with their dicks, women also think with their cunt, clear example is dis case.

omotayo said...

well,i tink wisedom is profitable to direct.thinking abt d repacausion of your decision will,help make d best decision.i feel u are not in d position to tell d husband what is going on,and to talk to ur sister u may also be putting ur sef at risk of been tron out.but u can talk to some one elderly or mature that u knw she respect and would listen to.that person can help put her in order.is just funny dat u dont knw d value of wat u have until u loose it.i pray she dosen't regret her actions.also u have a responsibility to pray hard for her.she needs it.all d best dear.

Anonymous said...

AnonymousJune 15, 2012 7:58 PM

U r a very dull child. How u scaled through sch is what am yet to understand that's if u finished gan. Did u read d story at all senseless idiot.... If u knew u didn't have anythng reasonable to say outta ur dead brain y d fuck didn't u just shut ur dirty trap ode.... Don't know how ur ansa tally with this.... Didirin oshi ode agba jati jati.... Mchewww

Anonymous said...

First all what happens between a man and a woman other people dont know. Ur sister husband might be showing u people what he wants u all to see only ur sister really knows who she married, i say there is no smoke without fire. My father was a pretender to the world and my mum endured all his wicked ways and did not tell anyone she endured cos in their generation that is what they did, he was older and very manipulative.Your sister is from this generation we are not a patient generation we are all about self happiness, so ask her dont condemn or judge and also make sure ur motives are clear towards her husband

READ ME PLEASE said...

Hypocrites and liars as usual in LIB!Double standards as always by women activist

I don't know what you are going through now, because i am not in your shoes, but i could read the sincerity and love from your letter.

When it comes to relationships, i have learned not to interfere because when or if they settle, you will be left with the towel hanging or called a jealous person who wants to break a relationship so that she can have the man. This is the stark truth.

My advise, since you are so worried, call your parents and let them know what is going on and leave it at that. PLEASE DON'T LET YOUR SISTER KNOW, YOU ARE AWARE OF HER AFFAIR! You will be putting yourself in danger! Love can make some people do crazy things! Then get a job to make your money, because anything can happen.

The man is no saint himself. He frequents Nigeria? He has a skeleton in his cupboard. You are just 20years, still very young and naive in relationship matters.Please don't bite the finger that fed you. Be at peace nothing is ever hidden for long, let her make her own stupid mistake and live with the regret all her life. You have done your part by letting your Parents know and posterity will judge you fair.

LET YOUR SISTER MAKE HER OWN STUPID MISTAKE AND LIVE WITH REGRET ALL HER LIFE!

Allyberry said...

PHewww!!! Took my time to read all ur comments,some of U̶̲̥̅̊ are not only foolish,stupid Α̲̅πϑ heartless but u are dumb,what if this man in question is ur brother,what if it was U̶̲̥̅̊.after he has worked Α̲̅πϑ laboured hard for his money taking care of his "so called wife" Α̲̅πϑ her family,D̶̲̥̅̊‎​ good he gets in return is D̶̲̥̅̊‎​ wife f**king anoda small boy,if that was D̶̲̥̅̊‎​ only case it won't βε̲̣ that much of a big deal,but she intends divorcing him Α̲̅πϑ taking half of his hard earned money.she's a fool †̥ even think the boy in question will settle down with her,I'm sure all he wants is her money †̥ see him thru college.how can she keep her mouth shut Α̲̅πϑ mind her business?my dear my advice is that u talk †̥ ur sister,Α̲̅πϑ not the husband.maybe she'll tell U̶̲̥̅̊ why she's doing it Α̲̅πϑ den U̶̲̥̅̊ guy can take it frm there,Α̲̅πϑ make her knw dis guy won't settle down with her Α̲̅πϑ he only wants her money Α̲̅πϑ he's paying her back by giving her a GƠ̴̴̴̴̴̴͡.̮Ơ̴̴͡D f**k.Sex isn't everything Oº°˚˚°ºh.All D̶̲̥̅̊‎​ best in watever decision U̶̲̥̅̊ make.

Anonymous said...

Seriously girl... Ur situation is a tight one. I suggest u just sit on d fence and let Nemesis boomerang on who is wrong between d duo. Meanwhile ask God to forgive u for concealing such revelation. But u gat to stay out of it. I luv u dis much and dnt want u endin in deep shit.

Woman of Virtue said...

Keep ur mouth shut buh continue 2 pray!

kryptonyte said...

Bullshit story!

OLIKAEZE said...

Truth is bitter they say,but is better said than not.
Let your sister know that what she is doing is wrong,but do it with love and concern so she does not see you as a threat to her marriage,then pray for her so God restore her sanity and faithfulness and total commitment to her Husband ,marriage and kids.
all the best

Anonymous said...

Look at u... in America parent throw there kids out not to talk of common sister ...

Anonymous said...

Even if the husband is cheating.. do two wrongs ever make a right?

Anonymous said...

NA America oooooooo

Anonymous said...

If you had proof that your sister's husband was cheating on her would you tell? I suspect the answer is no. So what are you going to gain by telling your sister's husband that she's cheating on him? They're feeding you and clothing you. They didn't bring you into their home to destroy it.If you abhor your sister's lifestyle, start saving money, rent your own apartment and move out ASAP.

Sweetheart, there are some secrets you should take to the grave. I don't know how old you are. But it's something you'll learn as you grow older.

How do you know your sister's husband is a saint? Do you live in his head or follow him around to be absolutely sure that he isn't cheating on your sister as well? And how do you know he doesn't already know your sister is cheating on him? My point is that only two people really know what truly goes on in a marriage - the husband and the wife.

Please mind your business my dear. This is the wrong time for you to be a moral crusader. Don't involve your parents, his parents or any outsider. They all have secrets as well. They aren't saints and neither are you too.

Remember that blood is thicker than water, no matter what. Your loyalty should lie with your sister.

Anonymous said...

U hit the nail on d head,best advice I've read so far.

Anonymous said...

BROS, JUST WRITE AN UNANIMOUS LETTER TO YOU SISTER AND THE BOY FRIEND TO WARN THEM,LET THEM KNOW ALL U HAVE SAID,AND THREATEN TO TELL THE HUSBAND IF THEY DONT STOP IT

Janie said...

WORD maximus... Shikena

Anonymous said...

Hey Guy!!. first ignore all bullshit from here. See, lets face some FACTS. 1. If lies lingers for 20yrs, 1 day the truth will show. 2. Anything that goes up must come down. 3. You cannot cover smoke, it will come up one way or the other. 4. Every day is for the truth, one day is for the owner. See all my stories lies on one fact and that "TRUTH" can not be quantify. Fine, truth hurt, truth kills, truth endangered, truth betrays but at the same time truth prevails over ALL THINGS, truth heals, truth saves, truth repairs, truth makes a nation great, there is nothing and i mean nothing that can be compared with truth. One funny aspect of truth is that, everybody is afraid of it because it is the truth. If i were in your shoe, this i will do.

1. Pray over the matter,
2. I will so much pretend & join my sister in the act, maybe theres something lieing underneath that i dont know,
3. I will mingle with her to know her secret, (if you want to catch a monkey, you have to start jumping like one).
4. I remember sometimes ago, when i was trying to stop my brother from smoking, i had to join him to the extent that i was almost getting addicted myself before i could make him stop.
5. Dont think about telling her husband. (if you do, probably the house will scatter and i am sure u are not going to marry your sister and she may not even forgive you for life.)
6. You can save her soul in a more diplomatic way.
7. Try to know why your sister is cheating. (i think there is an underlying reason/motive behind every action) am i wrong?.
8. While mingling with your sister as pals, try ask him some serious questions in an unserious way, and before you know it, she will reply a serious anwser in an unserious way before she could realise what is going on, you have all the reason.
9. Now having been equipped with the motives, you can know exactly how to handle the situation from there.
10. Above all, ask God to direct you, because one of the reason you are there may be to correct things and not scatter it.

God help you.

Am Segun.

Anonymous said...

Best advice so far!! Stay out of it!! The husband might even know about it,u would only make it more awkward!!! Mind your bizness!!!

Anonymous said...

You're a good and thoughtful person. And i know you're in hard place, choosing between what is right, and what is loyalty. However, that's your brother in law, and those children of theirs are your niece and nephew, you are a family and a family who can deal with issues together. Your sister is young and is bound to make mistakes, but it is important that she recognizes those mistakes and changes for the better and for her family. If in her note she claims to be divorcing the guy, the kids are already at loss. So you should gather evidence that can not be denied, and sit the husband and your parents down and relay the information to them. Talking to your sister first will just make her sneak around more and be mean and cold to you. You need to involve your mother. The disappointment from you mother would make your sister see just how wrongly she is behaving. It will open her eyes to see the extremity of her defilement of their family and home. Three kids is not a joking matter and she needs to stop robbing her children of a happy home. If you don't tell, this will be a something you will have to live with for the rest of your life. You're not a friend, you're a sister, an aunt, a sister in law, and a daughter. You're family, and for that reason, this is why you can not hide this secret any longer becuase you're defiling all those titles and what all those titles call you to do. I know this is going to be very hard, but you know what is right in your heart, and as long as you always keep that in mind, you will be fine. I am 21,and live in the u.s as well,when reading your story, i really tried to put myself in your shoes, despite how ugly and hard the situation might seem now, just remember there is no mountain you can't overcome with God on your side. You will be fine, you're brother will be fine, and you're sister will come around. I'm sorry you have to deal with this, but the issue can't be resolved, unless the issue is recognized. And when that happens, you can just step away and let them do the rest.

Anonymous said...

First of all you are in a deep shit yourself for finding out your sister's little secret. Your position right now is an arkward position. Is not a position I would like to be. Secondly and most importantly for your own interest and for the interest of your sister, her husband and your entire family, I advise you to keep the little secret to yourself even though is not a secret anymore for publishing it on Linda's blogg. think for a min if your sister read this blogg or your sister's husband read this blogg it won't be hard for them to figure out who you are talking about. Now you have stayed with your sister in US for 2 years without paying any bills you own her that little secret. Now is time for you to find your own life go find yourself a job and move into your own appartment or get into schoool of some sort to pursue your career. This is the only way you will appreciate why you should let sleeping dog sleep. Spare your sister and yourself the trouble. If you ever find the need to tell your sister at some point in your life that would be after you have moved into your own appartment and get your life together. This is very important don't listen to any other advise more than this is the best advise for you. Stay blessed and wish you good luck.

djmedrics said...

Linda, I love the fact that you put real-life challenging stories on here and you love to hear the voices of your readers. On reading this sad story it came to my notice that some of this voices you wanna hear are not good for the public IMO. Instead of condoling her, some people are throwing the fact that they are helping her and brought her to USa so she should keep shut. This is why Nigerians gets all this shit we get, instead of finding solutions to our problems, we mostly hide them in ourselves. We have to move forward if we want to be a great nation. This story is a hard one that need guidance from ABOVE.

Anonymous said...

In not wanting to act like a judge of morals here, ofcourse am not even qualified but I must confess that I am disappointed at a lot of comments here suggesting that people are in support of this woman cheating on her husband. I wonder what our values have become. Even if this younger sister of hers is intimidated into not doing anything. I believe that if the husband is true, her evil will find her out. I think her sister should tell her that If she is in love with someone else and happier with that person, she should set her self free, leave her husband, go & be with the one she claims to love.

Anonymous said...

Mr man!you better keep your mouth shut.let's imagine your sister has been begging her hubby over the years to give her oral sex and have anal sex with her and he refuses to,now,she's found a young geezer to give it to her the way she likes it,you want to break her boring marriage by spilling the beans!let's also imagine you had a brother and not a sister,and your brother had a girlfriend,bla bla bla and was basically doing the same thing(s) your sister is doing,will you tell his wife???please allow you sister face the music when she's caught,that's if she's ever caught...and your sister kinda sounds archaic!why is she writing a letter to her loverin this age and time,when she can 'sharpely' send an email,chat with him on BBM(and even send a voice note) or even yahoo messenger!ahn ahn!pshewwwwww

Anonymous said...

you better keep your mouth shut.let's imagine your sister has been begging her hubby over the years to give her oral sex and anal sex and he refuses to.now,she's found a young geezer to give it to her the way she likes it,you want to break her marriage by spilling the beans!what if her hubby knows she's unfaithful and can't be bothered cos he KNOWS he can't satisfy her sexually!let's also imagine you had a brother and not a sister,and your brother was having an affair,bla bla bla and was basically doing the same thing(s) your sister is doing,will you tell his wife???please allow you sister face the music when she's caught,that's if she's ever caught...and your sister kinda sounds stupid!why on earth is she writing a letter to her lover in this age and time,when she can 'sharpely' send an email,chat with him on BBM(and even send a voice note) or even yahoo messenger!pshewwwwww....THE BOSSLADY

Jibz said...

Definitely none of your business, what are you doing going through your sisters phone anyway? That's a breach of her privacy. If I found out someone went through my phone I'd be so mad and I'd never even consider any advice coming from that person, how can I trust you knowing you violated my privacy?.
Think about it, if you confront her you will have to say how you found out.
Like most posters have said, leave it alone its not your duty to play God

Anonymous said...

Makes sense; she's between the devil and the deep blue sea. You pple already calling her names, she is a young girl for crying out loud! My dear, God will give you the wisdom you need, but more impotantly, think of how to move on with your life indepenet of your sister, if you are in school, do your best so you can either get a job or come back home.

CHIBUZOR IGWAH said...

Linda see …eh… I am not just a fan ooo! But a brother who loves you much, so please try and post this Bikokwa….. Yes I know is too long but many have to know the source of their troubles and way out.

@ the issue on hand. What your sis truly needs now is highly spiritual deliverance because what is happening to her is not ordinary but devil at work which is all to ruin her life. Having seen several cases even worse than hers I put it to you in actual fact that she doesn’t have knowledge of what is happening in her life for now. You can only be looking at her with carnal mind but she is going through a lot spiritually.

And for you to confront or overlook her like many advised here. Take note, she may possibly get the wrong idea and choose to fight you in order to overawe you as her younger one. In that case, I suggest you contact any member of your family most special mum or anyone you know that can talk to her and then explain everything to the person. Please, you need to do that right now for the interest of your sis life particular and to protect her marriage before the enemy would succeed in plans against her in which that before she realized it will turn out to be too late.

Based on my eyewitness thus far, HER PROBLEMS WOULD POSSIBLE BE FORCES FROM THE MARINE KINGDOM SPIRITUAL HUSBAND SPECIFICALLY AND A VERY JEALOUS ONE THAT WILL LIKE TO MESS HER MARRIAGE UP AND USELESS HER WITH THE WAY SHE IS AFFECTED NOW. Of which blaming will do her no good because she is not herself, in its place, she needs support from all and sundry that cares for her.

Now, the only way out is prayers support because all she need is deliverance that will disconnect her from the evil spirit which make her not to have any more affections for her husband, also tormenting and pushing her to do all sorts of the rubbish things she is doing now. I want you to understand that it is not all that easy for your sis to ignore her lovely kids and such a caring husband of hers which she cannot afford to lose in her right senses for someone she barely knows which is to prove to you that her problem is not ordinary. I can also assured you that if possible you meet the husband he will still confirm to you the challenges he is facing both financial, fiscal and spiritually at the same time as the wife would be refusing to sleep with him or do anything that will make him happy. And so, the man is becoming extinct of which I will tell you that divorcing is not even the best way to go rather than both of them need deliverance.

CHIBUZOR IGWAH said...

There’re many broken homes and divorces everywhere in an issues or worst like this. Even when the marriage can be approve from heaven, but because of the demon like what is happening to your sister succeeded its way in-between the couple the husband and wife will be affected and there will not be peace in the home anymore. Regardless of how good either the husband or wife would be and choose to be bearing the pains due to love one might have for another yet cannot solve the problem until deliverance takes place in their life. Thus, all servants of God are not supposed to be approving divorces in marital issues because in every situations God will still have something to say. Even a lot of so called men of gods are having their own marital issues but they will be covering up to avoid it from affecting the church which is their means of survivals.

I am glad about your good sense and I thank God almighty for you’re been around her at this point in time as your present with them will matter a lot. Like I said the family is in trouble and it is not issue of counseling rather they need deliverance.

These are the works of a "spiritual husband or spiritual wife" and it needs to be CASTED OUT with true power and authority in Jesus' Name. It affects peoples in dissimilar ways such as to continue marry and remarry yet unable to have a settled home, spirit of fornication that is inability of sexual control and also stealing but would have yourself to regret at last, disappointment in marriage and failure at the point of success, childless or cease of menstruation, masturbations, young once who have pleasure in dating married men or women and have no feelings for singles, difficulties, telling lies, fighting your spouse unreasonably which is spirit of anger, eating, swimming, flying, making loves and wet in the dreams etc.

So, if one is having any of these problems and you might have prayed and fast a lot between goings from one church to another in search of solutions but keep find yourself doing the same things that are contrary to your wishes. Then what you need is nothing but a true deliverance, and for you to understand the source of your problems and important of deliverance in your life with genuine power of God in order to get yourself free out of those silly things irreversibly you need to Watch this link below:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAKgfHAe8xc

Anonymous said...

FIND WORK DO, OR COME BACK NAIJA PERIOD! IF U WANT PUT MOUTH 4 HUSBAND & WIFE MATTA NA U SABI!!!

Anonymous said...

Hello my dear, I am a lady too and I understand what you are going thru, please open an email account with a fake name, then send a mail to your sister threaten to tell her husband if she refused to stop dating this useless guy, then do a mail to her husband tell him to be carful that his wife is cheating on him, please don’t tell the man what she is doing, just tell him to watch out for his wife’s steps and behavior. I hate this attitude of hers, how can a married woman be having affair (Anal sex) damnit, she can transfer diseases to her husband in this act, even if her husband is not satisfying her cant they seek medical advice 2geda, some women needs to be treated badly. She does not deserve the man at all. Women pls, what is our integrity if we open our private part to non husband, it is shameful, and disrespectful. God please help me, I never pray for this and I know you are the supreme God that will not make this taught ever come to my mind.

Anonymous said...

Let me share my experience with you. My neighbor wife was cheating on her husband. I confided in her brother-in-law who was my friend, thinking he will tell his brother, i don't know if he told his brother or not, but from the way he answered me, i suspected he won't tell him.
Many years down the road, they are still married, have 2 children who are in the university and they are both active in the church. I then realized how immaturely i acted.

Please, stay out of it. You can tell your mother or father, which ever you are close to, and turn a blind eye. Whatever she does, just remember KARMA is a bitch!

THE SENSIBLE ONE said...

Hey advice seeker.

I think you should tell your sister you know what she is doing. But rather than threaten to expose her, ask her why she is doing what she is doing.
From my perspective she is having a mid-life crisis and doesn't want to accept the excitement and burning passions of youth are behind her.
Try and make her see that slacker she has picked up is only using her. Ask her if she buys him stuff and sends him money? I bet you the answer is yes. He is a predator.

I am not saying that yours sister's feelings or mental state excuses her behaviour, but it might help you better understand her.

Try and help her salvage the marriage and family.

take care

Anonymous said...

I do not know if this is real but my dear, if you are sure of this then I would advise you to tell her husband. You will find peace in your heart, all these talk of stay away is not right. Imagine if the guy was your brother, what would you do? Would you keep it away from him to say you do not want to destroy their marriage? You sister is carried away and wicked, she does not deserve him. Best you break the marriage before it breaks him down, after all she has future plans to break it herself selfishly. For the good sake of GOD, say the truth and damn whatever gift, shelter and money you are getting from them. Let is always be known that you told the truth no matter how bitter it was, she was not even discrete enough. Forget all these cheap comments of her likes telling you to keep shut for beneficial reason, only God can make you what you will become. It is best you tell the husband about it because it will get worse than you think, act fast…. GOD is watching!

Anonymous said...

Some people talk with their mouth and not their head, all i can say is God need to rescue this world because things are getting out of hand.. My dear try and talk to ur sis first and let her see reason that is in lust and she will will regret her action now or later, is she did not heed then talk to ur mom about this.

Anonymous said...

Herr husband definiitely knows,I've been in a lot of these akward situations.1 of my sis even divorce her football husband cuz I found out he was cheating,I was 17 I told my mom n older sis who later told her.i'd threatened him myself,now my sis hubby is a serial cheat I've stayed in the same country as dem for 5yrs and I don suffer their fightings and all buut truth his a woman having anal sex he should know its his wife iif they fuck he will know especially anal,my advice to u,don't tell any1 anything let them be,if things go left then take care of their kiids because truth is u can't do shit to save the situationMarriages are deeper than you thiink my dear

Anonymous said...

My advice? Get on your knees darling girl... Pastor Bimbo of the blessed memory once counselled someone in your shoes to do just that and I saw the wisdom in that. Personally, when I come to difficult family situations like this, I seek the face of God. My dear, pray and pray hard!! God will grant you not only wisdom to handle the situation but a way out. Who knows? Your prayer might make your sister change for good or even bring an end to her clandestine relationship. Telling the husband will be counterproductive because, your sister may confess, pretend to have changed for a while, kick you out of her house for almost ruining her marriage and then achieve her evil desire. So be guided, my dear and pray earnestly for a change of heart for your sister and for God to handle the situation for you. Don't go and do God's job for him. Infact, you are wrong to have posted it on a blog page. This matter should have been taken in the confidence of a pastor's counselling office. I heard this letter on radio yesterday too. Just stop with the broadcasts, already. It will do more harm than good.

fifi said...

please mind your motherfucking business ass kisser you are going to ruin her marriage. speak to your sister and make her see how much her husband loves her instead of running to him. think before you act

Femiluv said...

I say don't say a word and also pray about it and ask God to take care of the situation.

About the job issue, I know being a student can be tough (tougher if you're on an F-1 visa, etc). Been there, done that. If you can't find a job, don't sit your behind down at home for the next 4 months over summer break.

Get a volunteer position in your field of study. Volunteer experience is also work experience. The job market is getting harder by the day and you don't want to graduate from uni with nothing tangible to show on your resume.

Anonymous said...

ANGELA CHEATING ON ME? THANK YOU JUSTINA FOR THIS MAIL. I VE BN WONDERING MY WIFE'S CHANGE OF ATTITUDE FOR A WHILE NOW, HER SHARP AND SUDDEN RESPONSES WHEN HER CELL PHONE RINGS, HER KNACK FOR DASHING OFF UPSTAIRS TO ANSWER CALLS, HER LATE HOME COMINGS, AND UNEASY EACH TIME I'M HOME. I'M SERIOUSLY CONFUSED AS TO WHAT TO DO NOW 'COS OF MY KIDS. I DO NOT WANT THEM GROWING UP IN A BROKEN HOME, ONLY GOD KNOWS I'VE BEEN A GOOD HUSBAND, FATHER AND FRIEND, CARING AND PROVIDING FOR MY FAMILY, HOW DID I GO WRONG? I NEED TO VE A SERIOUS DISCUSSION WITH HER THIS NIGHT WHEN SHE'S BACK. PLS I LL LIKE COMMENTS ON THIS TO STOP TO AFFORD ME THE TIME AND OPPORTUNITY TO THINK. THANK YOU ALL - CHARLES

Anonymous said...

Pls read my comment! Its sad that your sister wants to throw a diamond away to pick up a stone especially since u've made her hubby out to be the best thing since sliced bread, I've been in a similar situation, left a wonderful man to chase shadows, now I have nothing!
Cut to the chase, sit your sister down in private (preferably not at home) let her know you've found out, hear her out, don't accuse her as it will only make her more obstinate. tell her to give herself a break from both men to clear her head and try to one last time to make her marriage work. if she doesn't heed your plea, talk to someone else who she trusts and respects to have a word with her (dont tell ur folks yet). And above all ask God to help her open her eyes before she throws her marriage away. if all else fails then you can tell her husband.

Anonymous said...

EM...SEE MY DEAR THERE IS A SAYING THAT GOES THIS WAY: SEE NO EVIL ,TELL NO TALE.UNFORTUNATELY YOU VE SEEN THE EVIL AND YOU MUST TELL THE TALE.IF YOU REFUSE TO TELL YOU VE FOREVER SOLD YOUR INNOCENCE AND WOULD BE PLAGUED BY GUILT UNLESS YOU LEAVE THAT HOUSE.SINCE YOU VE NO OPTION OF LEAVING,THIS IS MY ADVICE:DO NOT TELL ANYONE I REPEAT,DO NOT TELL ANYONE.GET A LINE,PUT UP A CALL TO YOUR SIS.IN DISGUISE TELL HER YOU KNOW ALL ABOUT IT.THREATEN HER TO CONFESS TO HER HUSBAND AND CHANGE HER WAYS OR YOU WILL TELL HER HUSBAND,HER PARENTS AND DESTROY HER MARRIAGE BEFORE SHE HATCHES HER PLAN.JUST LET HER KNOW THAT SM1 KNOWS HER ESCAPED.BY SO DOING YOU WILL FREE YOUR MIND A LITTLE,MAYBE SHE WOULD EVEN COME TO YOU IN CONFIDENCE.AFTER THIS ,KEEP YOUR MOUTH SEALED WITH STRONG TAPE.

Anonymous said...

Two wrongs makes us even

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