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Thursday 14 June 2012

Dear LIB readers: Should I have the baby?

A mail from a LIB reader
Hi Linda my name's C. I'm 20years old from Anambra state. I'm faced with a dilemma and I would like the advise of your readers. My parents are separated. I grew up with my mom and my dad lives in the UK. Early this year my mom died and my dad started making plans for me to come over to the UK when I found out I was pregnant (3months). I told my dad about it that day and he suggested I get rid of it cos it would jeopardize my chances of going to the UK and my future. I'm confused cos I've always hated abortion and my boyfriend's a fresh graduate still searching for a job. If we decide to keep this child, we'll have money troubles. I already love this child and I don't want to do anything I'll regret. Pls what do I do? Should I have the abortion and travel to the UK by the end of the year or have the baby (due in January) wait for sometime before I travel?

172 comments:

Anonymous said...

Nobody can make this decision for you its a decision you have to make for yourself cos whatever it is that you decide you live with it forever.and if abortion is your option you have to get it done fast after 3 months its very risky.God be with you

Anonymous said...

Abort it ! Why bring the poor baby to life to suffer? Don't miss ur chances of going to the u k and ur so call boyfriend can wait or join u letter! Shikena .

Anonymous said...

Pls have ur baby, kids are blessings and d Lord will see u thru.

NecFix said...

She's already on the right track by wanting to keep the baby & travel later. She should follow her heart. She's young and has a bright future ahead of her. Her dad has no option than to accept her that way. Goodluck to her.

Galore said...

Aabeg Hv Ur Baby.....This Might Be the Only child U will ever Hv in ur entire Life........Keep the baby.........the deed has been done already........

Anonymous said...

At 3 months the baby is already to old to be aborted n u can hv complications,go on,hv d baby,God'll mk things ok for u

Anonymous said...

Children r a gift from God no matter d circumstance surroundin their conception,pls havin a child will b a better future than goin 2 d UK u'll c. It might b a lil hard in d beginnin but its gets better n can b quite rewardin

Unknown said...

Pls dear don't get rid of that child.Certain times we need to make choices of life not for our sake but others.i believe u can make it through the hard times

Anonymous said...

Pls don't have an abortion, instead,consider other options like adoption if you're concerned about the baby's future.

Anonymous said...

Michael says...
My dear you should have the child. You never know what he/she will become in future. I'm sure you will find a way to survive. Why secure your future in UK and not have peace of mind of the abortion for the rest of your life. It's a serious dilemma and I hope you make the right decision.

Anonymous said...

There's no difference between the end of the year and january. Wait till january, then travel abroad. If your dad says you won't join him abroad if you have the baby, then he doesn't love you..x

ETHAN said...

Ve ur baby darl.children re precious gift from God n babes come with a blessing.

Anonymous said...

Have d baby swthrt. God will definitely perfect other plans

Love said...

Please look at it from a Jesus point of view. Where there's life there's hope. Yes it might be tough at first but "this (the hardship) too will pass" and you'll have your precious child forever.

Trust me! no amount of abroad, away, jan, etc is worth having an abortion. Are you ready to live with the guilt all your life? Besides, what if you're not able to have another child after Precious?

Anonymous said...

True the decision is left for you but i will advice you to keep the baby especially if your guy is the responsible type. Pray hard cos wif God, you can never go wrong ~Martha~

Anonymous said...

Y didnt u think of this whilst u were eating the forbidden fruit???mtchewwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!u called the piper,now pls dance to the tune.Uk ni,Uk ko.If ur eye see wetin dey this UK,u wud know that aving this precious bundle that didnt ask to be brought into the world o,is the best thing u cud ever have done in ur entire life(mybe)it wud be tough but u will always sail thru.

Anonymous said...

My dear keep your baby; and if u speak to ur dad and he understands you have your child in UK; and work towards a brighter future for both of you.

If you have the baby in Nigeria who are you leaving the baby for? Then secondly is ur Dad willing to file for the child?

Be smart and take ur traveling to the UK and having a baby as blessings God has given you. Ur 3months depending on when you travel u can still file.....Do Not Abort the baby, cos u don't know 2morrow.....

Anonymous said...

3 months is pushing it. Talk to your dad and other people who love you and you guys should decide on what to do together. I would keep it if I were u. You don't want to risk possible complications from an abortion at this late stage, especially with those quacks they call doctors in Nigeria.

Plus since u already say u love d baby, u will probably regret it in d future. Going abroad is not always what It's cracked out to be.

Anonymous said...

Well said.....@Galore where u carry your Mouth go.......You,,,@Alicia and @Gbenga,,Una don run Go bah,,,we don Use Our Mouth here Pursue Una.......Welcome......

Anonymous said...

U Anambra pple can like 2 f«^k anyhow sha.How Old r u d@ u don quickly carry belle,instead of u 2 be pursuing ur first degree now u don use hold ursef down..U want ur boyfriend 2 take care of all d bills abi,d@'z wen u go sabi love well well,cuz wen ur hubby go work nd cum dey use all d ontop u with all oda responsibilities showing by d side cuz he also ve 2 take care of his folks darris wen he'll start showing oda side of him.Don't kill ur baby ooo cuz d@'z wrong in d sight of God.Wen u go2 London w@'ll happen 2 ur boyfriend? I hope now u realise u took pregnant just at d wrong time cuz if ur boyfriend was competent 2 take of u,u two r supposed 2 raise ur first child together.I'll advice u stay in Nigeria and ur dad should help u financially till ur boyfriend is ok.Also u better get something doin even if t'z any rough job just to survive .Also u don't need 2 appear @ d UK embassy 2 get ur VISA bt dey do beta scrutinization wen u get 2 Heathrow which might turn bad..No vex bt na advice u ask 4 nd I can't be sugar coating u..Linda no do ojoro ooo,oya plzz sha post ma comment.(Lady G noni*winks)

Grace said...

Plz my dear I want U to just av d Baby... The Lord God is gonna c U through all these... God is with U... Plz be strong

Anonymous said...

&y r u so -ve minded? Hu told u, ur bf can't get a job next month,2moro, next2moro.. U r aren't due till jan.. Be +ve pray2God! D UK will always b dere&u'll defo v d opp2go dere more tyms dan u can think of! B prayerful abeg.. January loun loun.. U r already saying d child will suffer.. #hian

brownymj said...

Have the baby my dear. And remember that uk is never gonna run away. Its always gonna be there waiting for you until the right time. Good luck.

deekay said...

3months is too old in my opinion. I suggest u have the baby. Hopefully u will be lucky and get a council house and benefits for u and the baby. It won't be that hard. Your boyfriend can then come over ....who knows he might be lucky and get work permit. Then again it might not work out this way. But your dad should not be advising such. Na wa oh!! Or is he just being realistic??? Wait oh, what's ur relationship with him like? Hope he's not looking forward to extorting u when u come to the UK ...without belle that is, so u can work crazy hours while he keeps ur money Hmmmm. How much do u love this guy? How much do u want to have his baby? Please do what u feel is best. The way I'm seeing it u hv already bonded with the baby and an abortion will eat u up. U might never get over the guilt. Choose wisely. *hugs*

sexylove said...

H̲̮̲̅͡п̵v̲̅ε ur baby o,dont let anybody sweet talk u into things u might regret later,well...talk with ur dad aπϑ tell him know about ur intentions of keeping ur baby,also seek for his forgiveness aπϑ undestanding cuz he is †ђξ only one u gat left, aπϑ am sure he wuld understand...although †ђξ deed has already bin done buh please dont make a repeat of †ђξ same mistake especially if u αƦε̲̣̣̣̥ not ready for it...i wish u well, cheeeeeerrsss!!!

Anonymous said...

am sure your father takes care of you because he is capable of doing that. why bringing a baby you cant take care off? anyway the decision is yours but if i were you, i will focus on my future before talking about babies. you will certainly have plenty in future when you find your fit. Besides you cant predict your boy friend , some guys might not want a particular thing but since they dont want to hurt you, they wont say their mind.

Anonymous said...

Now, this depends on how financially settled ur bf is, i dont advise bringing a baby to the world to suffer, u obviously aint capbale of meeting that baby's need. I also dont advise abortion at this stage, cuz its dangerous.

Anonymous said...

D deed has been done. I don't advice u abort it cos asides frm complications, u will live wit guilt all d days of ur life. Besides, u.k isn't running away, if ur dad can't understand dt u cnt terminate dis preg, den u wud v to take a bold step. Pls, sum pple v aborted d only child dey might ever have, pls pray abt it, tell God ur predicament, evn though u v sinned, HE forgives and listen, and d Holy Spirit wud direct u. In my opinion, kip d baby, it will be very tough buh help will always come. Besides, dou u made a mistake buh I believe and hope it fits into this context dou, that God doesn't give u a load u can't carry. Take it as a test. And after dis, please give ur life to God, tell ur pastor, sensible pple and am sure u will be aii. God be wit u and d unborn. Stay blessed.

Anonymous said...

Where are ur relatives?like ur mum's sisters,etc?anyway my dear,its gud that ur dad wants u to come over to the Uk etc but i don't rily understand ur own stance with the father of this unborn baby?are u thinking of a future with him?do u love him?what is he saying about both of u,ur future together,the baby?These questions qre imp n crucial at a time like ds.Abortion will always leave u felling guilty.Abortion is synonymous with murder my dear,forget all the high tech names n excuses these days.That child has a destiny and that is why God allowed it to take position.I wud give anything today to take back the hands of the clock for the 'Murder'i committed whilst in Uni back in Naija but i know God has forgiven me already but inspite of that,the guilt comes once in a while.Pls,go ahead and have ur baby...God always makes a way as long as u keep looking up to him.It is well.

lam said...

Wateva U̶̲̥̅ wana do is ur biz! Buh wateva U̶̲̥̅̊ do young lady dnt dare touch dt innocent and grt child. No one forced U̶̲̥̅̊ †̥o have sex. U̶̲̥̅̊ are jst 20 and uve got a life ahead of U̶̲̥̅̊. Young lady forget UK U̶̲̥̅̊ can go anytym. Dem no go close UK gate. U̶̲̥̅̊ are welcome anytym U̶̲̥̅̊ get dre. Have ur baby cos dt child is def a blessing. Takia of urself.

Anonymous said...

SUPPOSING YOUR MOM ABORTED YOU IN ORDER TO TRAVEL TO THE UK; HOW ABOUT THAT?

Prov 6:16-17

16 THERE ARE SIX THINGS THE LORD HATES,
seven that are detestable to him:
17 haughty eyes,
a lying tongue,
HANDS THAT SHED INNOCENT BLOOD,
NIV

Anonymous said...

SUPPOSING THAT YOUR MOM ABORTED YOU IN ORDER TO TRAVEL TO THE UK; HOW ABOUT THAT?

Anonymous said...

Please have the baby,I found my self in similar situation (but wasn't given options of going to the uk. Today I have a gorgeous baby boy ( he will be 2 in November)and with him, my life has been blessings all the way. At times i imagined if I had settled for abortion, I wonder what my life would have been probably full of regrets. For the financial aspect, you will be so surprise at how God will handle that for you thats if you believe cos He did it for me.

Anonymous said...

please abortion isn't an option and life is not all about going to England.Don't start what you cant finish,sex is meant for married people only dont let 5mins enjoyment ruin you please dear,the lord will uphold you.

Anonymous said...

What sort of father advices his daughter to abort regardless of d situation?xplains y he was serparated 4rm ur mum....anyways,I'd advice dt u kip ur baby ooo.....also,there is absolutely nothing in d uk dt u shld b runnnin to cos pple dere r comin bk home...pls follow ur h@ and kip ur baby...Ur baby wld bring forth favour way...it may nt b ez @ d beginnin buh trust me,wif God.....ud b just fyn n u wnt regret kipn ur bundle of joy.....xoxo

Anonymous said...

plzzzzzzzzzz kip the baby, lack of funds is temporal and trust me, dat baby will bring blessings and good luck to u n ur guy.

temi said...

Pls don't give this type of advise. Who says she can't go to UK if she remains pregnant.

Y say so called bf without knowing how their relationship really is.

C, i don't know if u are still in school but keep ur baby and make sure u cont with your studies, he is your Dad, he should be willing to support you financially, for your education and your studies. Just move on with or without your bf's support. Although i pray he supports you even if not financially.

Pls be wise and seek God.

siye said...

The best thing is to have the baby,your dad shud be able to support you if he truly loves you. Take heart, it'll all work out.

Anonymous said...

Abortion is very wrong,u can have d baby and put in a home or something.most importantly it offends God.who makes everything possible in our lives.

ebony said...

pls, u do not hav to cum here for advise jst go do wateva u lyk and shut d f*k up. Mtchewwwww

Anonymous said...

Miss C. I would advise you to keep the baby. I'm a child that was saved from an abortion. I learnt about this later in life, and I give glory to God. You never know the plans God has for that child. That child my dear may save your life in the future. This is what my grandmother told my mother when she pulled her from the clinic. Grandmum was right o.
If the boy is ready to marry you then I don't see anything wrong in it. Couples struggle and make it.
If both of you are committed you will make it.
As for your father, he's lying darling, having a baby will not hinder you going to the U.K. unless he'll refuse to take you there.
God placed that child in your womb while others are still looking, that child has a purpose just as you have a purpose in life.
You love your baby already, darling continue to love your baby, that child will love you back for giving him/her life.

Janded said...

Keep. Trust be livivng abroad is more challenging than having a babe.

Anonymous said...

Have d baby my dear. Goin abroad is not always wat we tink it is. Ur dad should understand dat its risky 4 u 2 abort d baby. Besides I don't blive in abortion. God will c u thru dear. Emma.

Anonymous said...

See ur mouth like abort! Foolish idiot, cos of UK, u αяє telling her to abort a child she wants. Did ur mum abort u? Foolish adviser. How  wish ur poor mum aborted u. IDIOT!

Anonymous said...

please abortion isn't an option and life is not all about going to England.Don't start what you cant finish,sex is meant for married people only dont let 5mins enjoyment ruin you please dear,the lord will uphold you.

Olatunji said...

Money is not everytin in life just leave the baby let d baby come enjoy the life..... UK is not visa for making it in life

Anonymous said...

Hav ur baby dear,God will c u thru

Anonymous said...

My dear abortion is highly regretable plSs do not do it...I was ur age wen I frst did it nd I regret it 3yrs on...pls don't ....u wd feel guilty all ur life....as 4 d idiot sayin y do ppl lyk fucking as if u r worse

Anonymous said...

You have received some amazing advice here...keep the baby and trust God for the best. When the child is a lil older and is ok to travel, then go ahead to the UK to continue ur studies...if your bf is still interested and I pray he is, then he should try to get a visa to the UK. Maybe he can do his masters there and get a reasonable job. God bless!

Anonymous said...

@ Anon 7.55, u are very stupid , if u don't have anything nice to say just STFU, why call on anambra pple as if you or your sister have not done it before , the person that gave birth to you, didn't she do it b4 u were conceived abi u come like Jesus Christ, u are such an ignorant fool, look at who is giving advice, pot calling kettle black, thunder fire dat ur mouth, Linda post dis comment cos I don vex. Mschewwww.....

Anonymous said...

I pray oluwa 2 help u guys mk d right decision and 2 bless u guys both financially and otherwise......and ma dear try and talk 2 ur dad....there is no way u cn justify abortion in d sight of God....i pray u mk d rite decision.

Anonymous said...

U must be an idiot for generalising anambra girls.if u cnt advice sum1 witout snide remarks keep ur filthy trap shut!!

Anonymous said...

i used to think abortion was the way to get rid of an unwanted pregnancy but after 3 months, o babe u av been slow and it's too late now, u got to get on with it, is ur guy ready to get married to u, forget all about money for now.the baby will bring feeding money from heaven. i hope ur man is standing tall beside u in having the baby, if not, u still gonna have the baby but it will be tougher

James said...

I think you already know what to do here. An advice is something you want to hear after making your own decision. The choice is yours. I'll suggest using contraceptive methods in future if you don't have enough self control to maintain abstinence at age 20.

@WhySoSerious?
I think the dad does have an option if he wants to accept her or not

Iwalewa said...

@ 2nd anoymous, june 14, 07:38, imagine such a very devilish advice that she should abort d baby. Dont u just av human feelins. U are so shortsighted and unexposed dat u so much value Uk dan human life. U didnt even fink abt d complications involved. Ajegbodo e n wa eni kunra abi. Young lady, i just want to advice dat u kip d baby, so dat u wont end up biting ur fingers. God ll provide 4 u.

Anonymous said...

My exact tots! Why wld a father say sumtin soo cruel. Pls my sister keep ur baby. Besides at 3mnths its risky to abort. God be wit u.

Israel said...

have the baby, because you may live to regret aborting the child, besides you never know what the child would become in the future.

Anonymous said...

Don't have an abortion, take it from someone who did it for a similar reason and am still regretting it after 3yrs.

Anonymous said...

#whoHurtYou?

Israel said...

Have the baby, because you may live to regret it if you abort the child, in addition, you do not know what the child would grow up to become.

James said...

See all of them saying "Keep the baby, keep the baby." We all know you'd have visited quack doctors to use bent hangers to destroy your foetuses. Hypocrites!

If the child is below 28 weeks, I suggest you get to a good abortion clinic and eliminate it. Why make the child suffer when he comes in? Would you not feel pain in future if you encounter problems with the kid in future knowing fully well he was unplanned for?

I rest my case. Bottom line: Abort it. It's not too late. Waiting until it is born to give it up for adoption is impossible as evidenced by the fact that 88% of women who plan to do so end up going against their words.

I advice you candidly not to bring this child into suffering. You can have many more when you're ready.

Anonymous said...

My exact tots! Why wld a father say sumtin soo cruel. Pls my sister keep ur baby. Besides at 3mnths its risky to abort. God be wit u.

Anonymous said...

U must be an idiot for generalising anambra girls.if u cnt advice sum1 witout snide remarks keep ur filthy trap shut!!

Anonymous said...

Y will u call doctors in nigeria quacks?cos u live abroad?u re a big fool!I guess u don't knw wat its like to spend 7yrs in skuul n some non entity will refer to u n ur colleagues as quack!u re a very big idiot for dt statement!may amadioha visit u ds nyt.mtschewww

banke said...

dose saying ave ur baby den go abroad... wat happens to the child's relationship wiv his/or her father... unless she's willing to take her bf along afta aving d baby. My advice is u dnt ave to go abroad to make it.. pray for ur bf to get a good job and nurture ur child. Maybe wen d child's old enuff u can den move abroad.

Anonymous said...

Lin my comments plzzz

Anonymous said...

Chai see as una dey vex 4 Anon @7:55pm bt na true talk dat person yarn oo..Miss C don go fuck anyhow now she look 4 advice wey she no seek b4.Sha don't go and abort ur baby ooo..And next time u learn 2 ZIP_UP..

Anonymous said...

my wife-to-be is currently at d UK and it was similar probs that made her Dad took her and all her sibling to the UK when her Mum died...... Since 2003 we lost contact buh God brought us back together thru facebook when i was doing my NYSC last year May 2011, now she would be back in the country so we can put all things in place..... Pls keep the Baby if ur Dad wants u to come by january after ur baby u can tell ur bf and keep contact if u truely love him......Eleska Uki

TONIX said...

keep the baby, u can always ravel but u cant have the same baby again
i made my girl friend to abort for me and i am still wishing i didnt do it.
abortion is bad an d evil , pls dont dont do it.

Anonymous said...

@ C, pls have the baby. I did abortion in 2010 because I wasn't ready though not @20yrs but I still live with the guilty till today. Look for something to do to survive you will be amaze how God will bless you. Pls say no to abortion.

Anonymous said...

There is no discussion of imagining if your own mum aborted you. She was married, ready and prepared for me before I came. She had enough self-control to be abstinent.

Anonymous said...

I will like you to think about this very well. 1. Abortion is Murder in the sight of God. 2. Your pregnancy doesnt stop you from travelling to Uk, even if you dont travel this year, you can still travel next year. 3. Everything in Life happens for a reason so its how we face it that defines who we are. God bless you. Tunde.

Woman of Virtue said...

Hmmmnnn,I won't support abortion.jux be prayerful God will make a way.

Buh wats d assurance dat ur bf is dependable???or u won't end up being a single moda.anytin can happen 2 unions like dis...#fear of d unknown

If a father shld say sometin like dat,well I can't judge

Anonymous said...

Hey sweet...plzzz stay off abortion cos it doesnt pay. What really pays is bringing that cutie into this world.... One day u gon reap d fruit of ur labour and trust me its gon b lovely and God wud bless u loads.

And also at 3months, u ar risking ur womb and life.

As for d BIG MOUTHED, POORLY THINKING FELLOW that is critisizing Anambrarians....first of all tell me ur state and I'd tell u something evil and stupid abt it...

secondly I know dat at 20 u'v carried out series of abortion without being aware.....cos I bet u don't know dat wen u dispose a condom, ofcourse with its content(semen) dat u are killing a soul....OLODO
**chynell**
(Lin ds is my first tym o...pls post my comment)

Anonymous said...

Pls have the baby..God will provide.. just believe in him and he will not disappoint you..

Anonymous said...

@Anonymous June 14th 8:54pm. Don't be stupid. Abortion is illegal in Nigeria except it is meant to save the mother from harm to her health.

Due to that, good doctors don't perform abortions. Quacks do. I live abroad but that isn't why I'm using the term "quacks." Good Grief! I am a little proud of my country. Why throw insults that aren't backed?

isha said...

Many people are looking for children. I won't advice you to have an abortion. If you can handle it, carry your baby to term and give it up for adoption. Then, carry on with your future in the UK, etc.

May God bless you with more kids when you are ready and able.

Anonymous said...

My daughter,

I really like your courage in making your worries open, I have given you 100% wise because I know what you are passing through. Your most adorable partner being your Mum is not there to lead you on this critical time. I really don't want to write much. Since you said THIS WORD ...I already love this child and I don't want to do anything I'll regret.

Kindly note that I have gone through the comments people have posted on this blog as an advice to you. Reading the comments will give you more deep sense of confused thinking. But I want you and I to do this simple mathematics, with the saying of all the posted comments about your case, Kindly READ THE FIRST POSTED COMMENT and copy it to a note pad, Then READ THE LAST POSTED COMMENT and copy it to a note pad. Read them and make a choice. But all I will tell you is that London is not safe. (Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain)


visionorg2000@yahoo.fr

Anonymous said...

abortion, is murder. just have this at d back of ur mind. Take responsibility for ur action.

Anonymous said...

its better u keep ur child becos
is A gift from GOD.IS A SIN TO ABORD A CHILD.IF UR FATHER LOVES U . HE WILL SUPPORT U,,BUT MAKE SURE THAT UR BOYFRIEND AND HIS FAMILY LOVE AS WELL,,,ENGLAND IS NOT A FUTURE FOR ALL,,FROM SWISS

Unknown said...

Why can't she have it both ways?Have the baby and go to UK. It works. Sometimes we put limitations where there should be none.
tobechidaniel.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

Sweetheart, please keep the baby, retrace your steps back to God and everything will work out together for good. Just believe God, read the bible and go closer to God. He will reveal the truth to you.

Anonymous said...

JamesJune 14, 2012 8:44 PM

Jeez!!!!! You are such a cold-blooded creature! How dare u encourage ladies to abort pregnancies as advanced as 28 weeks! I'm sure u are a guy(from your name) that's why u can open ur mouth and spew rubbish! Wait till u give borth to your own daughters and give them your sick advice!

Miss C darling, pls keep d baby! U really dnt wanna look back in a year or 2 and regret u aborted! Moreover, a 3 month pregnancy is risky to abort! Keep d baby. God will make it possible for u to provide everytin d baby needs. Goodluck with everytin

Anonymous said...

For the first time ever Linda, I have read your readers being thoughtful and kind to a post. I am a single mother and know that its the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I wish my daughter's father was around to see our wonderful creation....even if he were a fresh graduate. London will always be there C, even if its not at the end of the year or in January. Think of all the women praying, fasting, crying, begging the Lord for a child. And then of all the joy the gift in your womb will one day bring you. In this tough world that is Nigeria, my 3year old's smile is probably the greatest and only joy I experience every single day. She is my reason to live. In 6months time you if you decide to stay and have your baby you too will have sense of joy and a reason to live in our bleak harsh world, Nigeria. Good luck and God bless you.

PS: You know what? You asked us and we have advised you. Please, please update up and tell us what you decided.

PPS: Please remember that at the end of the day its your decision. Get on your knees and ask the Lord. He never guides his children to the wrong path.

deekay said...

Some people's mentality!! How can u generalize a group of people like this?! Pathetic. Anyways I don't see what poster was hoping to achieve by saying what state she's from. It's not like it makes any difference. Well, doesn't to me anyways!

Anonymous said...

MY DEAR U.K OR USA,CANANA ARE NOT FULL OF ROSE YOU CAN BE IN NAIJA AND MAKE IT IN LIFE.HAVE THE BABY IT MAY BE HARD BUT ONE DAY YOU WILL SURE GOT THERE. TELL YOUR DAD YOU WANT TO KEEP THE BABY IF WANT TO HELP YOU LET HIM HELP YOU IF HE DID NOT WANT TO HAVE FAITH IN GOD. IN LIFE WE MAKE MISTAKE IS ONLY GOD THAT IS PERFECT THAT WHAT MAKE HIM GOD. NEXT TIME PLEASE PLAY SAFE. BY DOUBLE OMOBA

deekay said...

In my opinion giving a child away is just as bad as abortion, if not worse. Eurghh!!!

Anonymous said...

Typical Daddy girl situation.....you better grow up fast and have your baby and if you love your boyfriend and he wants to marry you then move on with it!...money problems will always come.....love doesn't!

Inspireme said...

life is not always what it seems.your plans for the future will become non-existent if you die during the abortion or womb is tampered with.God always has a better plan, your dad's plans notwithstanding. sorry about the loss of your mum.

Dora's Mum said...

@anon 7:38pm.u are so dumb and I blame ur poor mother for bringing such an idiot to live,she shud have aborted u while u few weeks in the tummy.I feel sorry for your impoverished life n person,u seem to think the "Uk" is all we've got to life abi...she and that graduate can make it and also travel to the moon if they deem it fit,meanwhile go on ur bruised knee and pray u are blessed with children when and if u ever get married...oops,and a reminder,Children are a gift from the Almighty(bt u sound like a curse sha)!

Inspireme said...

life is not always what it seems.your plans for the future will become non-existent if you die during the abortion or womb is tampered with.God always has a better plan, your dad's plans notwithstanding. sorry about the loss of your mum.

Anonymous said...

nobody has the choice to choose a baby's fate. the baby has the sole right to his/her life, it is called murder if you deny him dat. Travelling to the UK or anywhere doesnt decide ur fate or destiny either. Whatever decision u are making ,pls never opt for abortion. I promise u u will surely surely regret it, cuz any misfortune or unfortunate event in ur life, u will just attribute to things like this u didnt handle rightly, not even mentioning wot might happen during the course of the abortion, it is still the same God who provided the opportunity of ur going to the UK dat controls all those. Kindly explain to ur dad on the consequences of wot he is asking u to do, he should understand being ur dad. goodluck in ur endevours and sorry for ur mum's loss

Anonymous said...

PLS!!! Dont kill the baby.

sugarbabe said...

C,plz do not listen to all dis old cargos talk ooo. U hv 2 do d abortion cos u v a great future ahead of u nd u are still young. If ur mum were alive what will she tell u 2 do. Abortion is not a bigdeal. The question u shld ask urself at dis point is 'are u ready' if u have to think about an answer then u are probably not ready. See listen 2 ur dad. Ur boifrnd is still 2uu young nd i dnt think he is ready. I know some1 dat had dis problem nd hers was 4months she got rid of it nd now she's doin very well in chevron. The thing is dat she's no longer with dat guy,she's engaged to another guy that evn respects her more. See I am young like u nd giving u d best advice. Jst look 4 a good doctor,it doesn't evn take up 2 10mins nd it doesn't hurt based on my frnds experience. If u love dat child u wouldn't wana suffer him or her. U v a whole lotta responsibility like hospital bills,food,clothes,etc.

Anonymous said...

You have already confessed with your own mouth that you want the baby. So keep it and never ever contemplate abortion.

Anonymous said...

You have already confessed with your own mouth that you want the baby. So keep it and never ever contemplate abortion.

enclaved said...

u shouldn't abort the baby, uk will definitely come. Moreover, there is more to life than loosing a chance of going to uk.You never can tell what God's plans are for that unborn child. my dear born your pikin..... wetin dey the uk self???????......

Anonymous said...

At the end of the day the decision is yours. Make a decision that will not hurt you or cause you emotional stress. You stated that you already love the child you are carrying & I think that statement right there should lead to your decision. U.K. Visa has Is now east to obtain, if your dad is a legal U.K. Residence, he can help you & your child enter the U.K. Or why not try entering the U.K. Before giving birth? That will be better for you and your child.

Anonymous said...

do not abort.. UK ain't going any where.

Anonymous said...

Hmm dis is tough,gf juz pray nd ask God †☺ lead ‎​Ɣ☺ΰ.If ‎​Ɣ☺ΰ abort nd die ko nd ur future nd life is @ stake too myb ‎​Ɣ☺ΰ nd ur bf shld sit nd hv an hrt †☺ hrt discussion let him tell ‎​Ɣ☺ΰ his plan Fϑя ‎​Ɣ☺ΰ frm dere ‎​Ɣ☺ΰ wld knw wat †☺ do.

Anonymous said...

@Ebony why are you mad? Please be nice. Have the baby honey, God will take care of you and him in a miraculous way.

Anonymous said...

Wow this is the height of inhumanity. Its not about the best hospital. Some go to the best hospitals for abortion for their "unplanned" babies but when they finally plan to have babies, they're not able to. Nobody with a conscience should encourage abortion no matter the circumstance, you could regret it in future.

Anonymous said...

PLEASEEEE For God's sake, DON'T ABORT THE BABY. The UK your dad is taking you to is not also a bed of roses and going to the UK doesnt mean your hustle in life ends automatically. There's a lot of people in nigeria that are a LOT BETTER than their folks in the UK. Kids are all a blessing from the Lord and in no time, Your boyfriend/fiancee will soon have a job and you all can go to that UK later at your time and pace. PLS DON'T ABORT, I take God beg you

Anonymous said...

@anon June 14, 8:54pm. Return to sender. Keep deceiving yourself. U r d big fool and idiot. U think u r d only one with a medical degree abi. Were u trained to perform abortions in your med school? Oya, lie. I stand by what I said. A lot if doctors in Nigeria are quacks. They kill people everyday cos half of them have no clue. Even in d US, most doctors are not trained to perform abortions except you are an ob/gyn or in some family med residency programs. Even with that, if it goes against your beliefs u r not obligated to undergo d training.

Who is the fool now. You are a quack! Idiot. Stupid liar. I'm still waiting to hear who trained u and your colleagues on how to perform abortions in med sch. Especially since it is illegal. Unless u want to tell me u r an ob/gyn. Wait for Amadioha, he is coming for you tonight.

Anonymous said...

i have a life experience i want to share with you, i got a married to my wife and we had our first child, a baby boy through Cesarean and within the space of 4month,unexpectedly my wife got pregnant again and we were afraid what people will say, most especially my mother in-law and decided to abort the child, having fear that the life of my wife may be in danger and we approached our doctor but he advised against it and i made up mind to keep the child and face my mother in-law squarely, she threatened to deal with me or troubled me so much that i become afraid , saying she will deal with me if anything happens to her daughter, but kept to my stand, thank to the encouragement of her first daughter who stand by me.
We asked God for forgiveness and prayed to him for safe delivery, lucky she delivered safely through Cesarean, we had them only two of our children and have not had any others even though we have tried without any success and the particular child today is my joy and my happiness, She has given me so much joy that i remembered all that i went through those period, I gave God the glory if I have done that them, I would have had only one child and will be regretting it today,
Please keep that pregnancy, it may be the only child you may have in life, think about, you can travel any other time if possible go over there with the pregnancy. God will give you the encouragement.

Anonymous said...

I can imagine how many abortions you've encouraged in your lifetime Mr. James. Take my advise; seek God's mercy now...

Unknown said...

Ma dear have the then give it up for adoption cos if u abort cos of all these silly excuses then u are nt serious.
When u decided to sleep wif ur bf without a CONDOM u were ready to hv this baby.

Anonymous said...

Don't compare or judge. People are created with different finger prints. The deed has been done but the innocent should be allowed to have life. Abortion isn't the best option.

Anonymous said...

QF
Girl abortion is so wrong, DONT DO IT...dt baby has a ryt lyf,dont deny him dt cos u wont be able to live with d guilt even if have 20more children later. Kip d child and wateva it is dt u'r afraid of will definitely xpire,it cant be 4eva.

James said...

Anonymous June 14, 2012 9:44 PM

I will not have a daughter that can not control her lustful desires. She will also be smart enough to make sure her husband or whatever uses a damn condom which is inexpensive. Trade 5 minutes of enjoyment for a lifetime of unplanned stress? Nah!

By the way, you're quite ignorant. I'm telling you what is accepted both in the U.S and U.K. If a foetus is below the age of 28 weeks, it can legally be aborted.

James said...

Sorry not 28 weeks but 20-24 weeks.

Anonymous said...

please DON'T ABORT YOUR BABY. Trust me, I'm speaking from experience. Only God is the giver of life, and if he allowed it to happen, TRUST and BELIVE that there is a bigger reason and blessing for this. You may not see through all the "distractions" (traveling to the UK...etc) now. Think about that innocent child who will LOVE YOU UNCONDITIONALLY no matter what you do and don't do. It's very easy for people who haven't had the privilege of experiencing the miracle(s) pregnancy/chidbirth/motherhood to immediately scream ABORTION. Once you've carried a child for 10 months and the child is born, from that first cry and the moment you look into the child's eyes, your life will be changed FOREVER. I faced a similar situation, that i why I can AUTHORITATIVELY speak on this issue. Your chid will be a BLESSING in your life. Whatever you have planned for your life or think your life is going to be pales in comparison to the BLESSINGS you will receive from GOD once you decide to do right by him and the gift he has blessed you with. Please just know that nothing on this earth is worth the life of your innocent child. I KEPT my baby and now my baby is the SOURCE OF MY JOY, STRENGTH and BLESSINGS! God will see you through my dear, please be strong and TRUST Him.

Anonymous said...

Next time,learn to use a condom

Anonymous said...

going to london does not guarantee a great future.
have your baby,your dad would not turn his back on you.

ebony said...

nice? ther's no sentiment here. wen she was havn sex who was there? pls, we gat beta thngs to attend to.

Anonymous said...

@sugarbabe(Youngito wey no go old); i weep at ur comment and for u.....so chevron is much more better dan a human life...ehhh.
U don't know what it means killing a helpless one dats y u run ur mouth ds way.
Do u know dat ur 'friend' might end up not having kids or as soon as she gets married and has kids, everything in her possesion might collapse..... Don't u think? Think about d future...... PLS BE MATURED
**CHYNELL**

Anonymous said...

Abortion is a sin b4 God,and its 3mnths gone already,pray 2 God and c wat he wuld do in ur life,if ur father really wants 2 help den he shuldnt let pregnancy stop him,if he takes u 2 d U.K u can have ur baby der.

Anonymous said...

you answered the question already,if you are matured enough to have sex and get pregnant,i think you should keep it but don't forget,you stand alone because the stress of this baby would/could or will tear you and your so called boy friend who doesn't know that gold circle is just 20 naira to break up.now is still the early days,the heat is yet to come.the lord is your strength.please confide in other family friends and aunties who understand,if you dont have,na God go fit save you ooo

Anonymous said...

My neighbour just died from abortion. If you are in doubt, come to 19, shasha road, akowonjo, lagos state.. Ask for Iya Mariam and hear what her neighbours would tell you. Or better still, call me on 08066561306 when you get there. My dear, for your sake and your future, keep the baby, God will make a way for you.

Anonymous said...

My dear i know how hard it is because ur caught btwn liking the child already and what your dad said!... First of all it's 3months gone to delicate n complicated @ this stage. I was 18 when i first took in and i removed it some thing i regret ever doing!.. The guilt is still hunts •̸Ϟﻉ till present. My advice to you. Call your dad up and have a talk with him make him see reason's with you. U̶̲̥̅̊ may abort it n move on like i did but you can never know what 2mrw maybe. Please don't. Keep it you'll ve reason's to be thankful and grateful afterwards. God be with you in what ever decision you finaly make. Becareful n be wise.

Anonymous said...

My dear first off, I had 3 abortions in my 20s... out of Gods mercy I have 2 wonderful children now. But I can't tell you how much i wonder about those babies and if i took the 'right' decision... Infact, it has taken me years to get over the trauma and guilt and if I had to live my life over I would have had them and loved them... The pain never really goes away... I say KEEP your baby, just be strong. God bless!!!

phy said...

it depends on the type of visa you are travelling with. if it is visiting visa then you may think of going early so that your bump will not show buf if you are going as a dependant on your dad then it does not really matter. i say have the baby but plan properly for your travel. i do not see how having the baby will hinder your progress in the UK. but maybe go and see a lawyer and talk things through about your visa. .

Anonymous said...

MY dear Children are our heritage and fruit of the womb is a reward. Pls keep the baby and travel later. You never can say the good lucks the child can bring to you. what after the abortion u travel out, get married years later and not able to conceive or damage ur womb in the process of abortion. PLS keep the baby!

Coded said...

Would you rather kill someone to live?

Anonymous said...

why did she get pregnant in the first place? didnt she know her bf's condition before getting preggerz

Anonymous said...

thou shall not kill !!!!!!!
UK is always there waiting for you to come or you can even go over there give birth....
but don't indulge yourself in any form of atrocity.

Coded said...

Would you rather kill someone to live?

Bamz said...

Thou shall not abort the baby! Have ur baby first...Since is ur dad, he should be ready when you are ready.

Anonymous said...

pls im 27 yrs old i got pregnant last yr and i had issues wit d father ,he said i shld abort it,bt i refused andmy mum is dead also ...bt now im so glad dat i had d baby ..my baby is a blessing frm God..hv bin doing it alone and God has bin helping ...seriously im a living testimony and i thank God.....pls my dear dont abort d baby im begging u wit all my heart....linda i beg u in God's name post my comment...God will definitely help you out...

meg said...

i have had good and of course bad times but the best thing that happened to me is been a mom.dont know how people are able to abort and go on.d mistake has been done but make up your mind to be strong with or without your boyfriend and d uk trip abi life, its tough people who survive this life. have your child, work if u have to and trust God for the best. dont abort d baby, u will live your life regretting it.all the best.

Anonymous said...

PLEASE HAVE THE BABY FIRST. YOU MAY NOT SURVIVE AN ABORTION SINCE YOU ARE HAVING ILL FEELINGS ALREADY. YOU CAN MAKE AN ALTERNATIVE ARRANGEMENT TO TRAVEL LATER. PRAY GOD GIVES YOU BOTH THE MONEY NEEDED TO TAKE CARE OF THE BABY. ALL THE BEST

Anonymous said...

My dear, been there done that. Please have that baby, it is the most difficult thing I have ever done but the minute found out I was pregnant, I knew I was keeping it. It will be very difficult but your child will bring you joy. I simply cannot imagine life without my child who is now almost 3.

Chikaka said...

You already know what you want to do which is to have the baby, so do just that.

Anonymous said...

Ignoramus! I am sure u have neva stepped outside nija dat is why u can tell someone it is better to abort their child to live in london. My dear girl HAVE ur baby, a child is more rewarding than cleaning/carework!

Sisi London said...

Plsssssssssss from someone who has lived in the UK for 10 year that place is a hell hole!!! Do not have an abortion, it is not worth coming to the UK for. That child might just be the Oprah Winfery of her generation.
God gave you that life don't commit murder!!!

Sisi London said...

Plsssssssssss from someone who has lived in the UK for 10 year that place is a hell hole!!! Do not have an abortion, it is not worth coming to the UK for. That child might just be the Oprah Winfery of her generation.
God gave you that life don't commit murder!!!

Anonymous said...

Sweetie pls kip de baby.dere no dufference between december and january. Abortion can do a whole lot to u. And u might never be a happy person after de abortion. So my love keep dis precious gift of GOD

Her royal gistness said...

keep the baby. Many women want children but cant get. fertility decreases with age, weight gain, diet changes and many other things hence you might not be as fertile as you think and may never get the chance to have another one.

Anonymous said...

Come to the UK,have the baby and I'll adopt the child....male/female,it doesn't matter.
My address is 5 carshalton road,Sutton.Surrey.SM1 4LD.UK
Hope to hear from you soon.

Anonymous said...

Oh Shattap you!

Anonymous said...

Chevron?like really?is that the motivation?
You're as dumb as your name...pitiful!

Anonymous said...

UK is a rubbish place anyway!

Anonymous said...

Pls give the baby up for adoption.someone is offering to help you.i have copied and pasted below

"Come to the UK,have the baby and I'll adopt the child....male/female,it doesn't matter.
My address is 5 carshalton road,Sutton.Surrey.SM1 4LD.UK
Hope to hear from you soon."

kind anonymous....God bless you

Anonymous said...

Dats a mother-in-law from hell.
Why pray for forgiveness?what did you do wrong?
It beggars belief that your mother-in-law would interfere in your home....dats right I said it..she's an interference!
Good on you standing you ground.

Anonymous said...

Sisi London tell am jare...London where 14 year olds dey push pram with pikin up and down the street?
Place of no self respect,murders,paedophiles....name it,It's here mate.
Keep the child or send it to me,I'll take charge.

Anonymous said...

Who says its all rosy here in the UK??? My dear, you stay back have your baby and continue with your life. It's probably d consequence of the action you committed.
By the way, what good father will say his child should commit an abortion? it shows to me that your father might not even be into clean business. Stay strong babe, u can live without your father, be determined , you'll come out strong and who knows what great person your baby will be in the future? what if you'll never have another after aborting this one?

Anonymous said...

I hardly comment on this blog but this time I will because this is really close to home.

You situation sounds like the dilemma I was in. It was a choice between aborting and going for my masters, with even someone to sponsor my complete masters in the UK (as my parents did their part for my undergraduate in the US already). Also the father of the child was not financially sound yet, actually lemme put it this way "he claimed he was broke".

I decided based on ethics...and I didn't abort her. Now I'm so glad I did not abort her. My baby is 5 months old and she's the best thing that ever happened to me. It wasn't easy: parents and family will get on your case like never before, the father barely supports her which is really tough, I didn't get to go for my masters (but I now have a job that will open a way to that and that allows me to bring my baby to work as well). It's not going to be an easy road, but nothing will take your joy away when you meet your baby for the first time.

If you truly repent from your sins of fornication, and ask God to forgive you and see you through, you will see that God will work for you. The only Being that will be there for you 100% is God, so I suggest getting close to him if you want to have this kid.

I repeat...IT WILL NOT BE EASY, BUT YOU WILL BE GLAD YOU HAD YOUR CHILD

Anonymous said...

hi sweetie if ur gona hv an abortion do it for the ryt reasons not n ot bcos of UK london or were ever no dey run u can always go no be 80yr old man graduate so frm uni lag......think abt this decision very well luv n i no u prob luv ur boo n frm ur story it doesnt seem like his shying away frm responsibility so his prob a gud guy...but his still very young so mk this decision independent of him respect his opinion but think abt ur self n child cos men re like Nigerian weather u can nvr predict them sunny in d morning storiming @ nyt. God b with u.

Anonymous said...

Don't ever touch the baby bcos you could not say who you would be left with later. I pray nothing bad will happen to daddy but come to think of it, if something unexpected happens to him, you will now loose the two. Be very very careful. Do not and never think of abortion. God will be with you and give you broad knowledge of my comment.

Anonymous said...

GENNY BABY OO BABY OOOO. I LOVE HER.

Anonymous said...

Anybody advicing you to abort the baby will remain guilty if you abort it`~~

RC said...

When u dispose of a condom with its contents u r killing a soul???? Which pastor did u hear that from? Pls don't misinform people who may not know any better. If she had used a condom in the first place she wouldn't be in this quagmire!

Anonymous said...

lady G pls shut up madam holier dan thu which one b anambra ppl for d matter i b Edo o so no think say i b igbo na e mk me dey talk but na statments like that dey cause wahala abi u no no........she done mess up yh we no d ? now is wats d way foward not rubbing it in her face it cud be u, ur sister, child it can happen to anyone d fact shes preggers doesnt mk her irresponsible it cud hv even bn her first.

Nonya said...

Tales by moonlight...

Kids: Aunty please tell us a story

Aunty Nkem: Okay kids. Once upon a time, there was a tortoise......

Yawn yawn

Anonymous said...

@ sugarbabe gosh ur such a waste i feel so sorry for ur family am sure uv aborted so much na d hospital dey call u to remind u to come do ur monthly routin.....pls listern to the old cargos they might b old but they hv seen life and no wat dey re talking abt.... and just so u no am just 22yrs old so am also young but wise enough to no better than to disrespect my elders.....sugarbabe ni bitterbabe ko better go n do smtin with ur life o other than ur monthly donation of feutos.......madam lind if u no paste this comment i wud not comment again on ur blog cos u nvr do

Charles said...

Just remember that the 'It' in question is a living,breathing human. In less than 9 months it will become a 'Junior', 'Jenifer'or 'John'. So, please, keep your baby. If your father loves you, he will help you take care of the baby. Moreover, you don't need UK to have a feature.
Its not going to be easy but at least you know that you are doing the rigth thing. Trust in God and he will suprise you.

dave_gino said...

Dilemma you say? your life is gonna be worst than that if this baby is aborted. Do not say i didn't warn you. *I see more than you can. so heed to my .....*

Nothing special about UK. whatever your pater gotta do for you over there can as well be done in Nigeria.
Please i beg you in the name of God do not attempt abortion. as i said earlier *I see more than you do*

Anonymous said...

God has a way of turning a bad situation to a good one as long as we live in obedience to his words. Have your baby and God will provide a job for your boyfriend so that he can look after both of you.However, ensure that he does the right thing first and that is taking you to the altar to legitimize your relationship

Anonymous said...

God has a way of turning a bad situation to a good one as long as we live in obedience to his words. Have your baby and God will provide a job for your boyfriend so that he can look after both of you.However, ensure that he does the right thing first and that is taking you to the altar to legitimize your relationship

babe said...

Please have ur baby, DO NOT ABORT IT, u'l regret it.

Kay said...

My dear I had an abortion abt 4 or 5 years ago nd till today I still regret it ... D guilt is sooo painful cz all I keep thinking abt is wat d child wud look like now, so pls just ave d kid uk can wait

Anonymous said...

Abortion always hurts! Never take the life of your own baby. Have it and I am not saying it will be easy but it will be worth every bit of it in the long run.
I will keep you in my prayers.
Luv
Vivi

Anonymous said...

Abortion always hurts! Never take the life of your own baby. Have it and I am not saying it will be easy but it will be worth every bit of it in the long run.
I will keep you in my prayers.
Luv
Vivi

Anonymous said...

Have your baby sweetheart!!! i see no reason why or how the baby would hinder your progress in the UK... The baby will bring you good luck... Either way, your dad will accept you!

Anonymous said...

Please my dear, don't abort it

Anonymous said...

keep the baby i m sure god wil provide a better future 4 u.u could go to the uk but secure nothing good 4 ur future.PH

Ama Ajunwa said...

Please do not abort the baby. Its good a thing you can still travel to the IK after you must have put to bed. You aren't not gonna have any problems by keeping the baby rather you will if you abort it.

Can you think about if you die in the process of aborting the baby ??... UK you wont go again, your father you wont see, baby and boyfriend gone. There are many colletral damage to the abortion so dont do it.

Anonymous said...

My Father always told me, before he died, to always do what I feel is right. If you have a very solid relationship with your dad, as in he is very understanding, and would support you, then you keep the child. do what you feel is right for you, follow your heart. God bless.

Anonymous said...

Really why cant you travel with the pregnancy do they submit pregnancy test result with Visa application form, I suspect ya father and if you cant who says you will have a better life in the UK, abegiiii

ifyody said...

Swtie, pls keep d child. If ur dad says u cant come over coz of the baby. Then u and the father should stay back and hussle. Money problem is just for a while. who knows u guys may have Heaven's open doors before or when the baby comes.

Anonymous said...

this child might offer u more than travelling 2 d u.k in d long run

chituru said...

please,, have your baby. There is always a way out with God ok? i emphatize with you dearie.

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