I woke up to this email this morning...from a LIB reader
We have a three year old son together, my ex and I were together for six years until we broke up April last year. I was hoping for a reconciliation because I still love him but he met another woman late last year and their introduction and traditional wedding is this Thursday and Saturday. I didn't even know they were serious like that because he was still a part of my life. He treated me like he still loved me and totally hid his plans from me until the last minute. I am angry and devastated and do not know if I will survive this weekend. Short of killing myself, I don't know what else to do. Please share this with your readers, I need help.
Sad situation. Please she needs advice...
258 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 258 of 258common dear, the signs would had being there, you just refused to accept it....how can you assume he loves you, assumption is the lowest form of communication, if you really loved him as you claimed, you should have told him what you wanted straight in the relationship....you cant possibly have a child for him all along, and was busy thinking all was well, anyway deed already done....he probably wasn"t mearnt to be yours, brace yourself life goes on, don"t shed a tear nor kill yourself for a man nor him, you never can tell what God is saving you from..........sometimes we re just too blind and perhaps busy chasing shadows, tell yourself you deserve better, tell yourself a man will love, protect and cherish you like a queen that you are, you don't need to beg for it, you are blessed and beautiful and deserve the best.....cheer up darling cuz life is too short anyway so why make it shorter by trying to take your own life, we shall all die one day ooooooooo
loooollll>> Mumu Anon 12:34. Didnt you also read the part of the bible that says dont judge? Nonsence
hugging you tightly. Pray to God because the comfort you seek will only come from him. We've all be hurt in one way or another. I too loved a man a few years ago and he left me only to be married a few months after. How did I get through that difficult time? I emersed myself in prayers. Support from family and close friends. The pain will lessen but this doesn't mean that you'll stop caring about this man; it just means that at some point you'll cease to care as much as you do now and will learn how to live without him. It will be a long and diffcult journey but the sun ALWAYS comes out after the rain. This will be your testimony. It will make you a better, stronger and more mentally matured person.
Focus on raising your child and being the best mother you can be for him/her.
Loooool @ Steph Idahosa style in reloaded.
What ever feeling you are having now is crazy, Look at your story again and see what you did to yourself.: years of fornication, 5 years of looking at a man with no tangible intentions, a baby out of wed luck, you even broke up for almost a year now. Did you ever attempt to talk about forever with him when you found out about your pregnancy or after that? Did you ever tried to make up with him? Sorry but moving on will work.
just pray a sincere pray O LORD HELP ME GO TRU DIS AND COME OUT STANDING STRONG and u will find strenght. God bless u
First of all...I think you stupid for having a child with a man who you not married to! Secondly I think you more stupid for even thinking of trying to end your life because of some dude! Have you thought about your child growing up without a mother? You really wanna subject your child to that?
You guys ended it in april...so yes he has every right to move on....just because his being nice to you doesn't mean he likes you and this is one way we females get it twisted!
I say it over n over again...A man knows from day one if he sees you in his future or not and trust me he might not be ready immediately you both meet but the signs are still there that he wants you in his future! But most times we so blinded with love that we take off our thinking caps!
My advice to you...pick up the pieces and move on...think about your kid and be strong...everyone comes into our life for a reason and season...you never know what God has planned out for you so never see any disappointment as a bad thing...but see this as God making a way for you to truly meet that one who's meant for you! STAY STRONG!
oh dear
COme and marry my brother. He is cute, and has a G-WAGON. He will take you to the moon, and shower you with love,,,call me on 0809ja for life. kpele o
No, on a serious note girl, put yourself together for the sake of your child,get involved in something that excites you,buy new clothes,treat yourself, appreciate yourself and ignore the guy abeg. It may be difficult, but trust me, you will so get over it in no time. Just engross yourself in something meaningful and something that will add meaning to your life.
Best wishes in the future, O.
hey dear, its not worth it, a sorry comes so you could be congratulated, this is happening so that you can praise God at the end, life itself is a reason.
It's okay to cry...and then move on. Nobody knows except you what you're going through.
http://tobechidaniel.blogspot.com/
my dear sis,u need to move on with ur life ,i know exactly wat pain u goin thru cos i ave experience such thing before but today i found a man dat love me for who i am,so my dear,pls dont put judgement in ur hands cos d battle belong to God.....u jus move on wit ur life and see their end...
my dear sis,u need to move on with ur life ,i know exactly wat pain u goin thru cos i ave experience such thing before but today i found a man dat love me for who i am,so my dear,pls dont put judgement in ur hands cos d battle belong to God.....u jus move on wit ur life and see their end...
Move on with your life joh. This is what happens when u have a child out of wedlock..thinking the guy wld marry u mschewwwww see terry G and Timaya baby mama....u r no different...dumb ass women.
some times,some woman are the one hurting them self,,some woman will be the person asking the man to marry them,,and can even go far to have a child without the man wish,,and will start also behaving like a full mans wife without even married,later u said the man hurts you,,,move on with ur life,and correct ur past mistakes,
move on hunie
Everybody has pretty much said all that I would have said to you but let me reiterate: THINKING OF KILLING YOURSELF IS A SELF THOUGHT! ONCE YOU ARE A MOTHER, YOU CANNOT THINK OF YOU AND YOUR FEELINGS ALONE, YOU HAVE ANOTHER LIFE TO CONSIDER THAT DEPENDS ON YOU AND THE DECISIONS YOU MAKE FROM DAY TO DAY.
You can and will survive this situation, it is NOT the be all end all of your life.
My dear, I feel sorry for you, but u will get through it. I was once in your shoes. I dated one asshole for 7 years, had 5 abortions for him and the idiot dumped me to marry someone else. What did I do?? I pretended I wasn't hurt and even attended the wedding. Six months after, I invited him to our usual hotel, gave him the f**ck of the century after which I gave him apples I had injected with strong sleeping pills. After making sure he had slept off, I injected him with poison. The bastard died 2 days later and I have no regrets for what I did. One word- don't mess with scorpios, they are deadly. Anyone who condemns me, your daughters will get involved with such a man. Nike
As much as the comments here may help you, i would advice you to seek professional therapy too.There online forums that help to deal with suicidal feelings www.allianceofhope.org
The guys who broke my heart when I was younger are not even worth my spending quality time with now. If I HAVE TO DO IT OVER AGAIN, THEYNWILL NOT COME NEAR ME. I AM NOW MATURED AND HAVE ACCOMPLISHED ALL I WAS DESIRING TO ACHIEVE BY MARRYING THE LOSERS. PLEASE, MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE.
You will survive the wedding if you want to or you can take the coward way out & commit suicide ( its all a matter of choice ) IMO do not take any selfish decision, you have a beautiful son that God has blessed you with so the earlier you move on & let go, the better for you. Remember the saying " when one door closes another one opens?" but most time we stay for years in front of the closed door that we fail to realize that God has already opened another door for us to walk through. So look for that door & find happiness
chei!!! this is painful o! kai! babes let me tell u what to do...that day, stay away from bb, fb or any social networks where u will see their pics, switch off ur fone, u can travel sef....and just fast and pray that day. tell God to give u ur own man..and He sure will...He is a merciful God...forget bout the punk...let him go and remember this....every disappointment is a blessing...
First, i will congratulate you for not falling a victim. God has hold you back from marrying the man. It is better for you to suffer for weeks now than to suffer for life. Honestly, some have entered into this kind of relationship and end up divorcing after 15yrs or more. Some women died in the process. Pls, erase his memory from your brain. If you think you are guilty in one way or the other and he found it hard to forgive u. He is not your husband. Your husband will always want to forgive you. Take a break from work and survive this weekend only. My dear that is the end, you will be a free person after their wedding and become a free person again. Face your work, take care of your son, take care of yourself and expect your husband. You are very lucky deary.
dnt kill urself. if u kill urself ur son might suffer. just go to God in prayersif he will be yours, he will still come bac.
Oh girl, abeg move on. Find romance novel read and cool off ya head. If you marry person wey no lof u, e go better say you never meet man for ya life. Make you thank God say the thing end before im show you reggae during marriage. I know from personal experience say once one man don hook ya mind u no go ever forget. But u go need to move on. Dat na life. Cant have it all baby. Win some lose some. Na so e be. E dey pain well well but na now ur eye go open and u go see person wey go dey beg u 4 ya love. Dat person go buy you heaven and earth and u go get power to holler when u need to. Men need to get small doubt for their mind otherwise dem go dey misbehave like ewu kporonku. Babe, E hard, but move on honey.
crash the wedding
Nna mehn. Omolomo, this ya english get as e be. U wan ki pesin?
I love this blog lol
I must say to the women folk, when will we start learning from other people's mistakes. In life, you lear from the mistakes of others. That said I agree with Olu 9:12AM's comment. Omolomo, please you need to go back to school...I see you have a problem constructing simple sentences and then Jane Igbokwe, do you get a divorce for being in a failed relationship? I could not make sense of all you wrote. In conclusion,
1. sex is sacred. It is something you share with someone who has mutual feelings for you.
2. Having babies for a guy doesnt keep him with you. It is irresponsible.
3. If you kill yourself, you would have committed another sin and you will go to hell
4. My advice for you, cry a bucket, forgive him, pick the lessons, dust yourself and give it all to God. He has a way of healing broken hearts. I still talk to all of my ex's, I am not seeing anyone but I am very happy. I do want a man but like Linda said in her interview, I am going to live once and I intend to live right. I wish you the very best in your healing process.
I am a guy and my ex got married this April despite hiding it from me,I have moved on with my life plus she is no longer looking attractive in my eyes. Life is too short to hang on to yesterday, like Jay Z says 'On to the next one....'
My darling girl, I have been in your shoes, although we didn’t have a child together, but it felt like death when I found out he was tying the knot after our several off and on reconciliations, but today, am happily married and this guy who hurts me, has professed regret for the move he made many times -too late.
So am gonna say this; you need all the soft gentle words and shoulders to cry on, cry, tears are good, it helps relieve that ache, but then after a while, the pain will diminish gradually - this may not make sense to you, but I can assure you of this.
You will meet someone who you will love you differently, but you will love, laugh and live.
So make sure you don’t do anything stupid, it’s not worth it, he would marry and you would be dead…. So who wins?
Girl dust it off your shoulder and move on.
The best ways to kill yourself is to jump of third mainland bridge, or pull a trigger to your head......what the fuck is wrong with this society today all you do is talk about killing yourself when there is a small problem. First of all Find God then your problem will be solved
Awww. such great advise for the lady. I wish her well. Rejection is very painful but in time it does heal. I pray a wave of compassion for all the ladies and men that have experienced some form of rejection IJN. Jesus loves you more than anyone.
Nanya says...die becos of a man God forbid! Girl move on, better days are ahead
Nanya says...
die becos of a man? God forbid
Girl move on ,better days are ahead
Dont erase tomorrow, just because of yesterday..(figuratively speaking)..A man dint create u..He has no right to take ur life...
hey,at least you have a child with himso you're connected for life. There you have it, shebi you love him? He's not going anywhere. After this relationship is over, you and your son will remain dere!
Wahala...
What do you mean by he treated you like he still loved you? Were you still having sex? Wake up my dear you have a child together he probably just tried to maintain a cordial relationship for the sake of his son.
I agree with professor x for him to meet someone and plan a wedding less than a year after your relationship wasn't that serious to him. You managed to ignore the signs and kept lying to yourself.
It's time now to wake up for your son and face reality. You wrote it yourself you are angry you're not heartbroken. He is gone for good. Time will ease you pain, move on with your life a better man is waiting for you somewhere.
U best make sure u survive it, wat is d meaning of that? If u die u loose twice!! Mscheewww!! Na him be last born of men? I beg no fall any woman hand wt dat kill-my-self-over-aman-shit. Pick ur self up NOW. Ps, keep d child he will make u see y u need to live. Cheers! Don't let me see ur name inside obituary oo!
go n listen to whitney houston's I didnt know my own strength and step by step!..those songs convey powerful messages!..dont let the pain consume u..Uve got to keep moving!..
Best coment hv eva red on dis blog
Lmao@ AnonymousMay 30, 2012 8:27. Sue him for mkin u feel he stl loves you! Lmao! Jst saw dt episode in drop dead diva. It can only hpn in america indeed! Anyway dear, move on ok? I was in love wt a guy I wasn't even dating, and when I found out he got engaged, I cried for days unend. We hung out a bit, and I thot there was smtin, n hoped he'd leave his girl being from d same tribe and all, but whossai... We weren't dating, never got intimate, but we kissed a lot, yet I cried for days! So I can feel a bit of what u r goin thru. Take it easy dear, you'll be fine!TC
just look at it this way,he is not marrying your best friend or your sister.However,you are the lucky one .He will in a few weeks start sleeping around,might get one or two baby mama,might come to you with i should have married you story.You are the lucky one and the the scum bastard alone.
Hi Linda,
Please tell her that someone like me is looking for someone like her who has learn some marriage lesson.
I will be more glad, if you can connect me with her.
Thanks
(Need experience lady like her)
I have been thru the same experience except wtout the baby part. he left me and got married 2 wks later n i almost died. i had no support system in place n it took me a while to pull myself together. i told myself that im crying my eyes out n looking horrible thererby making myself unattractive to future prospects whereby he is busy waltzing about town mt his new mrs. it wasnt easy n some days i felt like just giving up but gradually the pain began to heal n now im preparing to get married to the most wonderful man God designed just for me who worships the ground i walk on. now i wonder what i ever saw in that loser n actually feel sorry for his wife cos if he could do that sort of horrible thing to me wtout his conscience pricking him, he can kill u. better count urself lucky cos u dodged a bullet big time. everyday i thank God for removing him from my life no matter how painful it was at the time. the funny thing was that at the beginning of the year we broke up, my new year prayer in church had been for God to remove everything in my life that He had not approved in my life. never knew the asshole was going to be a casualty. oh well, God knows what he is doing n u will find someone n wonder why u ever contemplated killing urself over ur ex
one video that helped me a lot during my trying period is TD Jakes "Let it go". my dear, listen to it n u will understand what im talking about. every unmarried person, male or female should listen to it. its on youtube. heres the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCTUZWIo00Y
my ex got married two weeks after he broke up wt me. i almost died but i pulled myself together n now im getting married to the most wonderful man God designed for me. now i wonder what what i ever saw in that asshole n u will too. listen to TD JAKES "let it go". its on youtube, heres the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCTUZWIo00Y.
its a must listen for every unmarried individual both male or female
go to babalawo for medicine, get the one they call "eye catcher". when he sees you he will just melt. He will forget her one time. kill ur self ke? don't do that o. go and get eye catcher.
You couldnt have said it better.
Yes o. I dont even feel linda anymore.also, she posts only comments that favour her
Been There Bought the TShirt!!!! You don't say but as others have stated this sounds like a male celeb stunt! From experience they believe everyone is a FAN and should be elated if they bless u with even a sec of their time! You have had a lucky escape feel sorry for the lady he is about to marry!!! Imagine how she would feel if she knows what u do??? DO NOT ATTEND THE WEDDING maybe take a break with you kid and enjoy your precious gift then never let him get close to u again!!! He doesn't deserve u and he will beg when he knows ur gone DO NOT LISTEN!!!! Good Luck xxx
Been There Bought the TShirt!!!! You don't say but as others have stated this sounds like a male celeb stunt! From experience they believe everyone is a FAN and should be elated if they bless u with even a sec of their time! You have had a lucky escape feel sorry for the lady he is about to marry!!! Imagine how she would feel if she knows what u do??? DO NOT ATTEND THE WEDDING maybe take a break with you kid and enjoy your precious gift then never let him get close to u again!!! He doesn't deserve u and he will beg when he knows ur gone DO NOT LISTEN!!!! Good Luck xxx
OMG! This is almost my story ,minus the kid. My ex is also getting married this saturday. We were engaged to get married and that was when minor disagreements came up till it escalated into a major issue. We decided to postpone the wedding plans till we sorted out ourselves , but family and busy bodies made it look like it was an affront to cancel the wedding. I felt we will reconcile and kept telling all the guys that came my way ,that I was engaged. You can imagine my shock when I got the news of his upcoming wedding. He was seeing someone and even proposed to her, while I was holding on to an engagement ring and he didn't bother to tell me. I am hurting just like you are, so I know how u are feeling, but believe me : "This Too Shall Pass". Please do not kill yourself or harm yourself in any way try and do the things you like or anything that will help take your mind off it. I will be doing same and will be praying for you . God bless you and your child.
Pretty woman, do not bother yourself. You are so lucky that you have a beautiful son that could keep your joy rolling. Damn him, package yourself, look good and have fun baby. Life is too shot, you gat to make the best of it than thinking of Man who doesn't give a shit about your feelings. Life goes on pretty woman, life goes on!
so so sad my dear but believ me he is not yours if he was it wld ve definately worked out for u both 4get abt him n move on
move on gurl,life is too short to experiment
You have already made a mistake by having a child for him out of wedlock.
The greatest mistake you can make is if you kill yourself over him..the truth is if you die over a man,thousnad of them will pass over your grave..Get a grip on yourself girl and go take care of your child and get a better life for yourself!!!
Nooooo dont leave him, cry for hours!!!! weep all night and cut yourself with knife. He is coming back. na juju the other woman take hold am msheeeeeew(sarcastic)
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