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Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Dear LIB readers: How do I survive my ex-boyfriend's wedding day?

I woke up to this email this morning...from a LIB reader
We have a three year old son together, my ex and I were together for six years until we broke up April last year. I was hoping for a reconciliation because I still love him but he met another woman late last year and their introduction and traditional wedding is this Thursday and Saturday. I didn't even know they were serious like that because he was still a part of my life. He treated me like he still loved me and totally hid his plans from me until the last minute. I am angry and devastated and do not know if I will survive this weekend. Short of killing myself, I don't know what else to do. Please share this with your readers, I need help.
Sad situation. Please she needs advice...

258 comments:

1 – 200 of 258   Newer›   Newest»
summzie said...

Na wa for you o,you want to kill urself bcos ϑf a man,U̶̲̥̅̊ already knw its over since last year,U̶̲̥̅̊ ddnt just get used to it but now start getting used to it darlyn,he I̶̲̥̅̊s̶̲̥̅̊ gone for good..you just pick †ђξ pieces ϑf your life and move on,you will surely meet a better guy Đ‎α̲̅T̶̲̥̅ will treat U̶̲̥̅̊ lik a queen very soon,so dnt let that weigh you down..let dem go on wit their weddding things..just stay away from where U̶̲̥̅̊ will get †ђξ news ϑf their wedding

Anonymous said...

Well,that hurts so much,but you just need to face reallity n move on..cos he doesn't love you as much as you thought.you'll surely find sum1 that loves you out there..this could be a blessing in disguise you knw...

Anonymous said...

He has obviously moved on. So shud u.

Anonymous said...

My dear, before u do anything that u would regret, think about ur son. As for what you baby daddy did, it's just something guys do. They form Love for you whereas they are planning their marriage. Move on, yours will find you. Take it that you weren't meant to be.

chioma ajoku said...

Put evrything in prayers.Mayb he wasn't meant for you.take urself out for a treat and look up to God.God wud send you that man that is for you.take it easy dear.It is well

Professor X said...

You were together for six years and had a child together and he didn't marry you but he's marrying someone he just met late last year? Its hard but you must hear it. That relationship only existed in your head. You were clearly just a passig phase that produced a child. Please do not kill yourself. We win some and lose some. Move on. Yeah I know its easier said than done but you must try. Think of your son. Turn to God. I know it seems unlikely right now but trust me, in the end all will be well. Goodluck.

Anonymous said...

learn to love ur self... 4get about him and move on... dnt do any thing stupid.... jst endure and move on... time heals all wound

Anonymous said...

This is d reason why I find this trend of male celebs knocking women up, highly irritating. Like wtf! Guys STOP Branding the chics you know u won't marry at the end of the day. Leave her alone or date from a distance so she can explore other options. This is an act of wickedness. In any case, to the poster, try to pull urself 2geda, attend d wedding and pull a WEDDING CRASHER stunt on his stupid ass.....Or do the Steph Idahosa style in RELOADED.....that's my own advice for u.

Anonymous said...

Dats y its good 2 always make ur feelings known 2 sumone u love b4 its 2 late. U wr 2 comfortable wif him visiting and all. U shud hav told him u still loved him. I'm sure he loved u too. I know it won't b easy but plsss TRY. I feel ur pain. I wudda b hurting so bad if it wr me!
But if I was u honey, ill tell him how I feel abt him and d marriage b4 thursday. Try ur luck, u neva know!!
Billie jean

Anonymous said...

Hmmmnnn... Mi dr gal, I fyl yhr pain. Buh havin a child wv him for 3 yrs wvout him marrying yhu shd hv bn a signal dt he dsn't want 2 marry yhu. Its painful I knw, buh life mst go on. If yhu kill yhrsef, what abt yhr child? I knw yhr spirit wl nt rest leavin d poor child whn yhu stl hv d chance 2 b thr 4 him/her. Be strong 4 yhr child, just go stay wv yhr frnds so dt they cn cheer yhu up. Atleast 4 now, avoid staying alone. Look up 2 God 2 b yhr help in weakness, yhr cmfort in sorrow... He sure wl see yhu thru...

Mr Hyde said...

He's gone, start getting used to it, u can only see the guys chasing u wen u stop chasing him. So brace urself, take ur son and move ahead.

Anonymous said...

Well in this was yankee,you could stop wedding and sue him for making u feel like he was still inlove with you hahahaha i watched it on drop dead diva,now that its naija my dear its called watch out for part 1-2 and 3 you cant do much or maybe tell him you still love him or maybe on wedding day lie that someone bad happened to your son *bad idea* or ehm you know what,Kill the other bitch, smh or watch lifetime movies and find solutions or ehmm attend the wedding and fall epilepsy or ehm my dear its called GiveUp.com the boy is not yours so find a new man.i really tried helping

Anonymous said...

HE'S DEFINITELY NOT YOURS MY DEAR. IT'S JUST BN WRITTEN THAT U'LL HAVE A VHILD TOGETHER. HIS DECEIT SHOWS HIS DISRESPECT FOR YOU. I CAN'T TELL YOU NOT TO HURT COS I KNOW WHAT U'RE GOING THRU BUT ONE THING IS THAT ONCE THEY'RE MARRIED, U'LL GRADUALLY GET HIM OFF UR MIND. A SIMILAR INCIDENT HAPPENED TO ME BUT WITHOUT THE CHILD AND I WAS DEVASTATED FOR YEARS BUT CAME TO THE SHOCKING REALITY WHEN HE GOT MARRIED. MY DEAR,PLS JUST TRY TO DO STH FUN THIS WEEKEND. START PLANNING TODAY SO THAT U WON'T HAVE THE CAUSE TO BE LONELY COS THAT'S WHEN U CAN DO STH SILLY. JUST TRY HARD TO BE BUSY OR HAVE FUN FROM TODAY. TRY TO BURY URSELF IN WORK OR STH, TRUST ME, IT WILL BE DIFFICULT BUT U'LL SUCCEED IF YOU PUT UR MIND TO IT AND PLS HAVE LOADZ OF FUN. HANG OUT WITH FRNDS. GO STAY WITH A VERY GOOD FRND WHO CAN HELP YOU THRU THIS. PLS DON'T HURT URSELF COS HE'LL STILL BE HAPPY WHEREVER HE IS SHOULD ANYTHING BAD HAPPEN TO YOU. THINK ABOUT UR CHILD AND FIND SOLACE IN HER OKAY. GOD WILL SEE YOU THROUGH.

jamar said...

i may not know how it feels,cos av not been in your shoes before,but i can only imagine your pain.what i can say to you is,hold on and be strong,you will meet a man that will love you for who you are.channel your energy to your son and show him love.the guy obviously doesnt deserve you,and always believe that all things work together for your good,believe me,ur son is a gift from God,just love him and tryn to forgive the man and love yourself so that u can attract healthy love from others.stay well dear.

Anonymous said...

Don't kill yoursef ova a boy cuz he ll bring a (his) girl to your funeral. No point, it isn't worth it.

Anonymous said...

commit suicide pls.

laura said...

Dying solves noffin,he is still gonna get married anyway.So dear suck it up n move on cos he clearly has moved on.its not gonna be easy bt its d only way.trust me,iv bin there.

Sufosa said...

I empathiez with her but she can't force him to love her. He may love her in a different way as she is the mother of his child. He will always be in her life. Thats the best she will get. she should try to heal and open herself up to another relationship. There is someone out there looking to love her and make her his Queen.

Anonymous said...

You just have to move on my dear,u can't do anything about it,once dere is life dere is hope,put it in prayers something better is on its way,all hope may seem lost now but hold on,

Anonymous said...

God is your strenght dear, pls just try and be away for the week, go enjoy yourself with friends or family (like a vacation or someting) and pls be strong strong dnt even think of harming yourself coz you still have people who loves you. I will pray for you #this is why I hate long relationship with passion# let God be the judge

Anonymous said...

This is what u r going to do.Pretend u r happy 4 hm.Be nice to hs would be bride.Thn hire assasins to eliminate hm at d altar,right b4 he says I do.POW and d bastard slumps n dies.Mk sure u r at d church so no-one ll suspect u n u gt to relish ur victory whn u see d agony on d face of d bitch who stole hm 4rm u.There.Good luck.

Gaia said...

My dear, eti e melo (listen very well with your 2 ears)... Do NOT harm yourself in ANY way!!! You have your child to live for and as painful as it is if you do kill yourself, SHE will raise him and who knows how he will be treated??? I was in a similar situation though I didn't have a child for my ex but I was pained nonetheless. Today, i am happily married with children of my own... Men will come and go but your child will always be with you... Be strong, this 'pain' too will pass, the sun ALWAYS comes out no matter how hard the rain!!!

Anonymous said...

Move on dear! Get on with your life. You'll meet someone new.

Anonymous said...

Pele...¶ can imagine. He probably didnt wanna tell you cos he felt you won't take it well,but guess what he has moved on and if there's one thing u really need to do now,it's moving on to


b

Anonymous said...

Go and hug a transformer madam.Were u still having sex with him?See,if a man has moved on,aint nothing you can do but to move on too...all the best.

Anonymous said...

Its a very sad story and may God heal your heart.. But if it was meant to be it would have.. You gave him a child, your body and your heart but still he chose to be with another... Can't you see that God just delivered you from a future of hurts and pains... If he loved you genuinely he would have stayed no matter what. So forget about him and move on with your life no grudge against hime.. You'd still find love but only if you believe and move your heart on from this guy... There's nothing else you can do but forgive him and live your life happily from now on...

adebola said...

You don't have to be their for their wedding if you don't want to be there,but plz killing yourself or whateva you want to do is not an option,plz think of your son before you make any decision

adebola said...

Linda you never post my comments why?

Anonymous said...

Am very sory dearie, bt please just move on with ur life, if he rily loved u he wuld have married you, after all u had a child 2geda and dated fr 6yrs!
Jst pray 2 God 2 give u strength uld need thru this tough time! Remain blessed!

Dr. G said...

Listen ladies men don't appreciate women who throw themselves @ 'em. Your worth vanishes when you do that. I'm a man so I know. There's nothing you can do because he's moved on to the next victim so move on too & get a life while at it.

Judith said...

Much as I'd like to empathise with her, has she asked herself what will become of her child or is she so concerned & consumed by herself that she's forgotten she's responsible for someone now?
Life will & always continues, she needs to continue with her life & nurture the gift of the child she has. I understand how painful it is & how hurt she must feel, trust me I do as I've had my fair share of heartache/heartbreak but God is faithful! Ur very own man will come along soon & until he does keep living life!

SAMIE said...

Ah! Since last year? 3 words my darling! Life goes on! You guys were never meant to be so have faith in God and your husband will surely come your way soon. Sorry!

Anonymous said...

ha, she wants to kill herself over man when she has a child to live for? She needs to refocus her energy abeg.

Anonymous said...

Awwww, sorry dear, you need to move on,don't let him eat his cake and have it, I'm sure he's gonna come back and tell you all sorts of lies and ask you to be second fiddle,move on, find another man,its not the end of the world.

Anonymous said...

psweeechhhh!

cindy said...

If you knew u still loved him why didn't u tell him. Chances are he loved u too but felt u didn't love him anymore since u didn't voice out when he started dating someone else. Its also possible u feel like this now only cos u know he is now permanently out of reach. Some people are like that; they let someone go and still do not want the person to move on. Its called holding on to what you feel is familiar. But u know what? Finders keepers baby!! You snooze, you loose. Move on with your life dearie, there is someone out there waiting to love u. Only next time, make sure u say what's on ur mind cos except the person is psychic, he won't be able to read ur mind. Best wishes..

Anonymous said...

my dear such is life, you should move on he was only treating you nicely becos u r d mother of his child notin more. in life we should accept certain challenges n make the best of ourselves not allowing pple to mock you,cos dey is a man out dere who will appreciate n care for you much beta, for wat is not meant to be cant be. if he loves u so dearly he would have reconciled wit u than carrying on into anoda relationship. the signs were dey but u chose not to see dem. u could survive it all d while he has been dating this lady,aint u alive its becos u heard abt their marriage plans u want to kill yourself(kill your self nau)dont forget you have a wonderful child to carter for if u decide to kill yourself remember u have given anoda woman the license of taking care of our first off spring. pls try n move on if a man can treat u dat way he dont deserve you cos he will also do so to the next even though he wouldnt get seperated from is marriage but is attitude n behaviour wouldnt change

Anonymous said...

Hii dear, there are so many women that have been in your shoes. You wouldn't die I can assure you. Try to find comfort with friends and family who love you or do something fun with your son this weekend. Then focus on making yourself better career wise, spiritually financially etc. Your happiness should not be tied to an human being. Focus on God

Anonymous said...

you need to accept the fact that he has moved on, though it hurts but you cant change things anyway, because his mind is made up already. just pray he still takes care of you and your child's up keep!

Anonymous said...

Oh dear, Sorry girl. Please don't do anything to yourself. Think of your child. She comes first. it is unfortunate you didn't get the time to get over him before he is marrying another. But believe me, it is not to late to get over him. You can start today. Let him go little by little. Let him go to allow the blessings in your life to flow and come to you. Let him go, to allow the man who will be a blessing in your life to come your way. You can survive this situation. He is not the blessing meant for your life and you are not the blessings meant for his life. Let him go, so yours can come to you. Please do not question why he was still being caring and loving towards you, even when he knew he was going to settle with another,a lot of men do that nowadays. The thing is that most of us women need to learn to let men go once they jump into another relationship. Please believe me, when I tell you, you are not the only one who has been thru what are experiencing now. A lot of women have been thru it and survived. So you will be okay. grieve if you need to, but do not harm yourself. You will marry someone better than your ex; but first you have to let your feelings for you ex go and open your heart to the blessings in your future.

Anonymous said...

Hii dear, there are so many women that have been in your shoes. You wouldn't die I can assure you. Try to find comfort with friends and family who love you or do something fun with your son this weekend. Then focus on making yourself better career wise, spiritually financially etc. Your happiness should not be tied to an human being. Focus on God

Anonymous said...

My dear I no it is killing because I have passed through that ordeal before but In my case I had no child for him but I went out with my for twelve years, mor than half of my live I lived on earth. He was everything to me, then he got some girl pregnant and decided to marry her, I thought I would die but I didn't dear, I will tell u wat I did to survive him on d wkend of his wedding, I mourned him like a dead man, I buried him in my mind and ever nice then, he has remained dead to me. That was a year ago, am now planning my marriage with d most wonderful man in d world, I give God thanks everyday for not making me marry d idiot. My dear look on the bright side and alws remember dat this too shall pass, it alws dose. Don't kill urself for a looser, will see y God removed him frm u someday.

Anonymous said...

awwwww darling ds is so sad....but guess wot? every broken heart can be mended if u allow God do d work. u cnt possibly kill urself. ur 3yr old son needs u, ur family needs u, ur frnds need u, and above all, God needs u. tell Jesus to take d wheel in ur life and sit back and watch the wonder u'll become. 've bn heart broken b4..jst ds yr even..i thot 'll neva survive it but i did and 'm happy nw..cos i knw d future holds better things for me.

Temilade said...

baby girl,I'm very sorry u av to go thru dis.but,remember life goes on.killing urself is out of d questn,u nid to b dr 4 ur son.just pray hard to God 4 d grace to get over this.take ur mind off him TOTALLY! & wit time,u'll HEAL

Anonymous said...

I totally understand what u are going thru I was bitter, angry n depressed for months but it gets beta killing urself will not stop the union so u need to pull it 2geda for the sake of ur child, friends n family that love u. Start ur steps to recovery today its a long n difficult road but u'll get thru it so u can enjoy a healthy relatnsp once again. Dnt do what I did take anger, frustration, fear of rejection n fear of not bn good enuff to the next reltnsp cos men see those things n categorize them as baggage n u dnt want to start a new reltnsp on dat note. I blive God has beta plan for us n will give us someone beta n more deserving of our love.

Anonymous said...

As much as it is tempting to say,u shudnt have had a baby with him before marriage,or call u silly for hanginin on to ur hope, I know better babygirl,in aretha franklins voice "a rose is still a rose,baby girl you've got the power,he can leave you,and try and break you,but you have the power" its hard I know,but take your life into your own hands,if your not d praying type,please pray in however way you know how to,God sees our hearts and hears every prayer no matter how unconventional.you will be amazed at how much pain can go away from just the singular act of talking to a higher being.pick yourself up and live for your child.self pity and depression kill.prayers and best wishes are with you.

Deyinka Onabanjo said...

Get over it. If u die over a man it doesn't stop him frm gettin married. U wil only make ur child suffer cuz nobody wil take care of d child beta dan u.

coco said...

My dear u chose to hav his baby out of wedlock,there is little or nothing u can do now cos its too late,he obvioulsy loves d other woman more i know its hard and u feel very hurt but u hav to come to terms wit it and let go.cos now u are just his baby mama!

Anonymous said...

Honey,don't kill urself.no man is worth dying 4!move on.I understand how it feels.find strength in Godbe calm.what's urs will come,

Leema said...

What can you do Hun,sometimes life is sad. One thing I know for sure is yours will come, obviously his mind is made up prolly why he kept it away from you. I can't give u d best advice all I can say is 'jide obi gi aka' be strong , do not try to disrupt or cause any trouble, surround your self with people that genuinely love u if that helps, or lock urself in ur room n ve an alone time, whatever makes you better. Pray to God to shield your heart n compensate you with yours. Hugs.

Anonymous said...

My dear, with time you will heal. Your life is far more precious and think of your beautiful child who needs a happy mum. You will soon find someone else who will wipe your tears away.

Olu said...

You know what you should do. Go to the spa and relax, get a nice massage.

Bitterness and unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die. So all these emotions are killing you, while your ex is celebrating his life.

You have a child. Look at all the things in your life to be thankful for. Give thanks. Play a CD of songs and gbedu jare. Speak great things into your life. Words have power.

He did't tell you earlier cos he know you would react this way.

Move on, clean break. Don't call him or reach out to him. Allow yourself to heal. Love yourself. Smile :)

Your life is not defined by any man. It is defined by God and the choices you make.

Oya wrap your hands around your self and give your self a hug.

Kisses and Hugs

Anonymous said...

I’m so sorry to hear about your situation. I know how devastating and demoralizing it can be. I happen to be someone who can relate more than most because I found myself in a similar situation. The difference is I don’t have a kid with him.

So, how did I get through it?
- I prayed a lot for God to give me the ability to forgive him (holding on to the bitterness and resentment will do you know good).
- I prayed for God to heal my broke heart
- Seek emotional support from trusted friends that won’t judge you or tell you to just get over it. Better yet, seek godly counsel.
- I had to realize that it wasn’t meant to be because if it was I would have been the one he wanted to marry
- I had to come to realize I actually dodged a MAJOR bullet – I don’t want to be with a guy who has the ability to mislead someone to that magnitude while committed to someone else.

I’ve come to understand that human emotions are complex, but making life decision like whom you want to spend your life with is actually very easy. He probably does love you – you’re the mother of his child. I don’t doubt that you hold a special place in his heart. However, he’s just not in love with you, which he obviously is with the girl he decided to marry. Don’t feel sorry for yourself. You’re allowed to cry and mourn the fact that there is no reconciliation, but don’t dwell on it too long. Focus on God and your child and God will bring someone else along. Trust me!! Someone that will be beyond what you ever expected and will make you thank God that you never married your ex.

With that said, for this coming weekend don’t be spend your time alone. You’ll drive yourself nuts if you do. Spend time with your friends and family. Then on Monday, look at the pictures on FB or wherever, cry, pray and move on. Life goes on!! Yes, I still think about my ex sometimes, you can't just erase all the years you spent with the person. For you, you have a child to worry about. I’ve come to learn that my destiny is never tied to someone who chooses to walk away from me. I’m a living testimony that God really does give you what is best for you if you trust Him. You need to do this for the child you have together. You can't have a healthy co-parenting relationship if you're still in love him. Good luck and I wish you the best!

Anonymous said...

i always advise people to make motions to correct arguments and fights.esp when you dont think you are ready to move on. Pride should never have a case to play in these situations. First you need to accept this and try to be happy for him. You also need to discuss the care of your child and that should be of utmost importance. Lesson learned here is to be patient and cheerier so that Mr Right isn't scared off again. But Finally Just get on your Knees and Pray to the wonderful counsellor.

Anonymous said...

I know some of what u r feeling if not all.When I experienced heartbreak,I took comfort from God and great friends i had around.Believe me,i might hurt like crazy now but it shall pass.Take heart,be strong,hang in there.It's not the end of the world.Taking your life is not an option cos no one is worth taking your life over.Besides,it doesn't solve anything.Talk to ur close friends and family,don't stay alone,thinking.Doesn't help. God bless u dear,i pray He gives u the strength to hang on.Amen.

Anonymous said...

i feel strongly you should move on, if he has a baby with u and he wasnt still excited on spending the rest of his life with you, den why push it..i had a similar situation but baby wasnt involved..we had an issue and before i knew he had gone to pay bride price, i was staying in his house, i wept like my world has crashed.But today am strong,am married, my hubby adores me and God has been faithful.its tough, but my darling its his loss and your gain..God is up to something, just trust in him.cos dere is this peace wen u run to him

Anonymous said...

Eyah! She should just take it and move on! She would meet her own man.

Anonymous said...

My dear. Wat is meant to be urs won't be another's. So I suggest u leave the vicinity for a while if u can but if u can't just be prayerful. For d weddin weekend. Keep urself very busy. Distract urself by having a lot of fun somewhere else. Before u know d moment is over but ur life won't if u don't end it!

Anonymous said...

Lyntroy says......
i'd rather u thank ur God cos u dont know wats in stock for u,yes it hurts but my dear a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage,i've been in that situation were my bf broke up wif me for some oda gal,and my dear i tell u it was the best tin dat happened to my life cos i had to brace my self and work hard,am doin very gud financially i have a lovly job and am in love wif a wonderful sweet and charming guy wos been beggin me to marry him now,so galfriend on that weekend of there married take a trip out of were u r,go have fun wif ur friends cos ur mr right is waitin for u somwhere.cheers

Chikaka said...

Sentiments aside, chin up & please move on. You will find your own husband!

Anonymous said...

Move on. Please try.

Anonymous said...

My dear, I suggest you deal with it because there's nothing you can do. I know it is hard but you can do it. Remember that you have a young child who needs his mommy. That should be your priority. If you can leave town for the weekend and have fun with your son, please do it! Life is too short to worry yourself over a human being. God will comfort you.

Anonymous said...

Well, its a really sad situation but I don't think is worth killing urself. If it was God's plan 4 u guys 2b am sure u will b in a different position nw; but its nt cos he has sum1 far beta. Meanwhile how abt ur son?

Anonymous said...

take it 2 God in prayer he alone can gv u peace of mind, meanwhile try 2 occupy ur mind wit oda things, hang out wit family nd frnds den attend church programmes it wil help...

DELTABABE said...

My dear, please move on... Itz going to be difficult but u ve to move on. Don't even think about taking ur life cos no man is worth it. He isn't the one for u, ur husband will come. Please make sure he takes care of ur child even as he is married. God Bless U.

baba basil said...

My dear, you have to do everything possible stay far away frm the whole scene, wish ur ex the best, take a vacation or sumtin, hang out wit good and fun loving friends. Do this frequently for sumtime and check out.

Anonymous said...

having a son wit him makes it more difficult u hv 2 try nd move on, get over it. i knw is nt easy bt try 2 take ur mindset off him, find anooda frnd dat wil b dier 4 u, sme1 u can share ur pain wit nd u can lean on. it wil help a lot...

Anonymous said...

Just let it go. All you have to do is think of your son. Who will take care of him like you would? No one.

Anonymous said...

I totally understand how you feel.been there myself with my ex.but u have 2 b strong 4 your son.if u commit suicide who takes care of him?anoda woman?No,u r stronger than u think trust me.I think this is d time for u 2 seek God and He w surely heal u.it is a slow process but u will get there.all the best dear.

Daisy

dgurlnxtdoor said...

U broke up wif him 1st; so I c no reason y u shd fink der wd b any reconciliatn. D bst u cn do nw z move on wif ur life, @ least do t 4 ur 3 year old son.

RONKE said...

it is easy to say 'just move on' but my dear, get ready to have the two worse days of your life. Try and get occupied, dont see any pictures until later and finally allow yourself cry a bucket. There is a reason why u guys broke up a year ago, favour awaits you and i pray for you that it wouldnt be too long.

Anonymous said...

Carry on with ur life,u will meet someone who will eventually love u,also pray nd wish them well.

Duke Emeka said...

Well its ok to be Hurt but you have to be strong for U̶̲̥̅̊ and ur son and move on, send him a congrats message and try to forget him. U̶̲̥̅̊ have a responsibility, ur son.

Anonymous said...

Babe from ur story I have a feeling you were playing with time when you had issues with him.This is a lesson for us all if you truely love a guy and you know he has feelings for you too learn to humble urself and go back to him with apologies even if you feel u are right moreso u guys have a child together but it is the milk has been spilled already brace urself and move on you cant kill urself o live the best of life and love will surely find you again this from a girl to a girl be strong its not easy but if you can take a trip this weekend and be back refreshed like I said Love will find you again.takiaaa

Anonymous said...

Babe, it's obvious the guy has moved on. You've separated so you shouldn't expect him to tell you all his plans.
So pick up the remaining pieces of your live and move on too.

Anonymous said...

but dat ur ex is wicked his been wit u 4 6yrs, hv a son nd yet no marriage all he can gv u is heart break, met a girl in months nd already walkin her down d aisle.... bbz get OVER HIM, HE AIN'T WORTH UR TEARS. dnt shed ur blood 4 no man. pray 2 GOD

Anonymous said...

Girl,the milk is spilt,please no tears,try to move on. But make sure u demand for ur child support,even if u have to bang on his door and embarrass him everyday to get it. All is well. I've had many ex's gettin married but dat doesn't make me less a woman,and so are u?

darealgem said...

Girl,the milk is spilt,please no tears,try to move on. But make sure u demand for ur child support,even if u have to bang on his door and embarrass him everyday to get it. All is well. I've had many ex's gettin married but dat doesn't make me less a woman,and so are u?

Stephanie Oduenyi said...

My dear, you have to take heart, its not worth killing yourself for, trust me, all you need do is try and have a word with him,let out all you feel, hear him out and let go, your man will locate you, to LOVE is NOTHING, to be LOVED is SOMETHING and to be LOVED by the one you love EVERYTHING.....that's pure, you need to be strong for your son...he alone shuld be able to give u a reason to LIVE, dnt forget that, TRUST ME HE HAS A SON WIV YOU, THE FIRST PRODUCT OF HIS MANHOOD, YOU STILL DEFINITELY HAVE A BOND WITH HIM, AND HE STILL HAS THAT SAME BOND WITH YOU....cheers!!!!!

kel said...

Its very painful, however i say let it go, if he has found someone he trully loves, let him Go, Get rid of any bitterness and give God the chance to give you the one that will love u trully. It wont be easy, but this will be a new journey of self discovery, u will realise that u are stonger than u think. Be strong darlyn, God bless

Osamagbe Asemota said...

Sorry darling
He has done what he chose to and has decided to be with someone else
Please try and move on
You could call up a friend who understands the situation and spend the day with her -not a him!
And she could also stay over the night so u don't think about it..
Then again, you need to tell yourself that he's doing what he is because he chose to ..and not because there is something wrong with you..and if he's marrying someone else there isn't anything you could have done about it or can do now because u already have a son for him..if that didn't hold him down, nothing else save juju which we all know is bad will..
So cheer up and best believe there is someone out there who will love you and your son as well..

KC Okere said...

The choices we make...

Darling, your ex-boyfriend will never stop being a part of your life since you have a 3-year old son together. However, he has chosen to be with someone else which is quite alright but unfair (and in my opinion, irresponsible...but that's just me).

I know how you feel. You just want to die and leave the sadness behind because it is eating you up. But if he didn't choose you, he doesn't deserve your blood. His new wife will not let him give you the expected "minute-of-silence" in which, you assume, he might right regret his choices and actions. The truth is that your death will not change their honeymoon plans.

I have just one advise for you. Run to family and loved ones, and stay with them until you recover. Elsewhere in the world, you would have been recommended to a head doctor for therapy. But your family can give you all the therapy you need, if you let them know the source of your sorrow. Feel free to mourn your loss and let it all out dear. Then shake it off, and move on. If love never finds you again, love your son with all your heart and teach him how not to treat a woman.

You also need to start each day, live through it and end it in prayer. It is not something you should do as part of your day... let your day have meaning because you are constantly in conversation with God.

The thing with times like this is that THEY WILL ALWAYS PASS.

Stay alive for those who love you and need you in their lives day and night...Styl Plus.

Anonymous said...

Taking your life is not an option and I must say selfish of u to think like that. It hurts believe me when I say I know, But you have to stay strong if for nothing else, for the sake of your son. Find solace in him, you are responsible for him right now, teach him how to treat women so that he does not end up putting more women the state you are in right now.
On a lighter note, there are many fishes in the ocean but only one fish is meant for you. Your ex bf was not the fish meant for u

Anonymous said...

he broke up wit u nd found himself sme1 else 2 marry... dat means he thinks u r nt gud enof 2 b hs wife bt u r gud enof 2 b his baby mama!!! move on wit ur lyf cos dat dude no send u.... any1 dat can cause u so much pain does nt value u, so therefore isnt worth u..

Anonymous said...

LIFE MUST GO ON, ONE ADVICE TO YOUNG LADIES, NEVER ALLOW A MAN TO SPEND SO MUCH TIME WITH U IN A RELATIONSHIP WITHOUT DEFINING IT!

Anonymous said...

pride was her..y sit bck if u still loved..u shld hv simply swallowed your pride n made subtle,timely moves to reclaim your territory n guard it wt xter

Anonymous said...

he will be happy to see you break down but dont give him that benefit. just be strong, i know its not easy and you are hurting but tell yourself i will be strong and i will put my energy on taking care of my child. you heart will heal with time and he dsnt deserve u anyways

Anonymous said...

Its really heart breaking bt my dear u have 2 move on. I knw it wont b easy bt 2 b candid since he has moved on without even looking at what u once shared i advice u let it go. U shld gather up urself n ask God 2 help u. I will recommend u try n get TD Jakes message on let it go.

Anonymous said...

Better kill yourself.. mtchewww.. which kind stupidity be that? why will you even get pregnant for a man who has not married you? Have u not heard that it dont work anymore for guys -tying dem down with belle? HE DOES NOT LOVE YOU. MOVE ON!... or you can further embarrass yourself by going to the wedding and causing a scene. nansense!

MAMA PUT said...

So sorry to hear this love. Honestly, your story brought tears to my eyes and I said a prayer for you. If you don't want to attend, you don't have to. What I would advise is that you do what you WANT to do. If you feel you must speak with him, do so. E.g you can express your disappointment/betrayal to him. He should have told you he was getting married earlier and you still loved him and thought a reconciliation was possible. If you feel this won't rob you of your dignity, do say but if you feel you will regret it, don't!! All I will say is, clock is ticking, don't wait until it is too late and don't do any action or inaction that you will regret. God be with you. Let His will be done. AMEN

Momen said...

Mehn am just short of advise in this but that your ex get heart ooo...Had a son with you, close to you but never mentioned his wedding. Too Badt.

Christy said...

It's painful especially when you have a child for him, i suggest you get ur mind of it and get ueself busy on that day. Do takia

Anonymous said...

I think she didn't do her home work very well. She allowed pride to overrule her sense of reconciliation

Anonymous said...

killing urself is not solving any problem, if u die 2day, my dare life goes on, the couple will live their life to the fullest, but think of som1 u re going to hurt, ur only child, i guess his/her luv wil compliment the feelling u re having 4ur ex. cheers

Anonymous said...

Be strong, like all things, it will come to pass, u will also meet someone else and life will go on. Twice I went through that, each time felt like the end of the world, but i cried to my God and He listened to me. I moved on, although yet to get married, but I am so over them. Hang in there, u have to put your son before your feelings. Absolutely no man is worth a woman's tears talk less of life, so take that thought out of your mind and heart, if u kill ure self, he wouldn't even feel nothing, and just continue with his wife. Also, when he comes back, (they always do, becoz after a while, men always get bored), better not have him back, tell him to go back to his wife. my 2 cents!

igbinedion said...

my dear dont kill yourself, life goes on

Anonymous said...

my dear dat is hw men behave, men r d most selfish specie on earth, dey only care about hw dey feel,hw 2 satisfy themselves nd wat makes dem happi. just move on wit ur life, God wil compensate u!! God will gv u sme-one better, dat guy is nt urs he is nt meant 4 u, God wil give u ur own man dat wil treat u right nd make u happy always..

Anonymous said...

If you dated for 6 yrs and you guys didn't get married nd he met another lady within a year and planning a wedding with her, dt should tell you something. It wasn't meant to be.
Why on earth would u even think of dying, u have a baby dt loves u unconditionally and looks up to. Thinking of death alone makes u a selfish mother. Brush yourself of, give yourself and your baby a fantastic life and in all your ways, acknowledge God.

anonymous mee said...

it will not be easy but pray to ur God and hold him hard. God may be saving u from problem but u dont know it. just let go. cry if u want but talk to yourself and encourage yourself. if he was meant for u he wont leave u after 6yrs and marry someone else. 10 years down d line you may look back and thank God he did not marry you but it all depends on hw u handle it. i left my husband of 7yrs but in just 4months i have a good job with a lovely car and just registered for my masters.u cant understand what i went thru there but i can smile today and i know there are beta thns ahead for me. heard hes remarrying already and i wish him well bc i have my kids,job and a future full of hopes.its a closed or sealed chapter for me. tough times never last but tough people do. get up and fight for your future.

Immanuel said...

Oops!Short of killing yourself, you dont know what to do? and you have a son?...abegabegabeg, aspire to be the best at being a great mother and you will see that your happiness never really depended on the coward of a man anyway.

Anonymous said...

my dear its not the end of the world, matter of fact he just opened a more fruitful life for u, cause you will meet ur bone of bone and ur flesh of flesh that will love u and ur child....so no worries,go rejoice with him cause he will come do same for u.

Anonymous said...

It is well with you dear, but i believe he had made his choice and you should also make a choice of living and moving on. Please keep yourself in company of family and friends who knows abt this situation and please dont forget to PRAY ALWAYS. May God bless n help u IJN...Amen!

Anonymous said...

This is painful men are wicked sha av always said it that the devil created them if any man replies me with insult i will fire u back kmt. Firstly have u spoken to him about this so called wedding? Also why did u guys breakup? Anyway u cant stop the wedding and dont kill urself please cuz u will have better days ahead. When i am going tru a very painful period i hold on to 1peter5:10 but may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Chirst Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen and settle you. And so shall it be for you. But babygirl am sorry to say it that this is ur own suffering timw but you too will smile *hugs* but men are evil sha mtchewwwwww

Anonymous said...

Mary....
Sad story but such is life…. You just have to move on with your life and try to be happy while you are at it . You cant force someone to be with you .. Same thing happened to me, spent 6years with a guy, we broke up and shortly after he was marrying someone else from nowhere.,,, All those years down the drain . It was heart-breaking , I cried myself to sleep for many months but the days got better and 2 years later I met someone and happily married now..I was like a stalker, looking at his wedding pic on facebook…It wasn’t funny oooo… but we thank God for where I am now. Some don’t have a happy ending , some do..
But the great lesson , no need fighting for someone who doesn’t want to be with you , it ends up in misery because whatever shit the person gives you , you will take (see Annie, tuface wife)…. Totally not worth it

bgigi said...

Poor woman, she if she leaves close to his place, she should take a trip, she and her child, to a very far place where she can cool off, if she is christian, she should read her Bible or her Koran if she is muslim. she should surround herself with close friends and relatives, then pamper herself(beauty treatments)take her son to play grounds or shopping. the main ida is to keep busy so that the "sucker" wont be on her mind all day.

stacy said...

Ok. U gonna kill yourself because your ex is getting married to another woman. Hmmmmm.. One word- stupid. Advise: get ur acts together.. And find a new man.

Anonymous said...

Seske said: I can totally relate to your situation my dear 'cos I've been there. I know its hard but life must go on. You can't keep holding unto what will never be. He obviously doesn't love you enough to put a ring on it. Suicide is definitely not the way out so please dnt even think about it. God haS big plans for your life and your son will grow up to be a great man. Ignore people who'll come here to say negative things. Look to the bright side of life and you'll discover that You have a lot to be thankful for. God will never leave nor forsake you. Your man is just around the corner and he will love you regardless of what has happened. God bless you.

Anonymous said...

I knw its not easy but pls 4get him and move on with ur life. He is not worth dying for and does not deserve u. Concentrate on taking care of ur son. God will give u ur own husband who will love u and ur son
-Abimbola O

AnAngryNaijaMan said...

Sister,

If you were with this guy for donkey years, had a child with him and he did not marry you, he never intended to marry you, period. Stop deceiving yourself about a love that is unreciprocated and move on. I feel sorry for ladies that get used like this as guys dey harsh at times. Get together with a group of really good friends and go and have some fun. The Lord will heal your heart and bring joy into your life, just let him do it.

bgigi said...

she should take a long trip, surround herself with family and friends, pamper herself(beauty treatments), read her Bible or Koran,take her son out, maybe shopping or just visiting, atleast it will keep memories of the "sucker" at bay and give her other things to think about

Anonymous said...

I'm rily sory dear, I knw wrds cnt do much at a tym lyk dis, but al I cn say is dt u shud try n move on, difficult as it mayb dough, but 4 d sake of ur son nd d gud it do to u evntually. Its apparent dt he has rily movd on witout u in his picture. My advice to u is dt u shud let dwn ur hair, look urslf in d mirror n tel her u dsrve beter, n if he didn't see dt al dese yrs den clearly he ws blind n he's nt worth d heartache. Som1 who wil appreciate u n ur son wil turn up wen u least expct. He'll treat u lyk his queen n ur son lyk a prince dt he is. Wish him well n ask d father of all comforts to comfort u. 6yrs 2geda wit no commitment, tells u he nvr lovd u n wouldn't evn aftr marriage. So tnk ur lucky stars u dodged a grenade(bcos bullets @ dis point wud ve been an understatement). Cheers
Miss Eno

deb said...

This is so sad, killing yourself is out of it. try pull yourself together and face reality life goes on.

Anonymous said...

There's nothing she can do about it. You can't make the heart feel what it does not. This should be a lession to other young gals out there who think having a child by a man who isn't your hubby makes him yours when in actual fact it only diminishes your value. Its obvious the man had no intention of marrying her, I mean their baby is 3yrs old already. She shld take it as a lession learned and move on, who knows, she might find someone better. Spend the weekend with your family and friends, take your mind off it cos there's nothing u can do about it......Meggy!

Anonymous said...

Move on

Anonymous said...

I feel you oooo, i was dating a guy who for many years he refused to marry me..so I carried my legs waka go and married someone else and I am happy. A year later he finally married to someone he dated only for few months. Even though I am someone else MRS, the thing pained me no be small .It is never easy, especially with a kid involved. It does get better sha, for now you will think you can not over come the pain but time heals all wound.

Pick up the pieces of your life and try to move on. Some people with a kid still find someone else who marries them and treat them well. Hold on to God and God will make a way for you

Anonymous said...

My dear you'll pull through! You'll get through this and come out stronger!! Remember your son and all those esp. Family that love you. God's grace will shine in your life and your own will come very soon, be string girl. You can do this!

Anonymous said...

U and ur ex were together 6 whole years..with a child..he didn't marry you. Within the space of 7/8 months,he meets a lady,courts her,and marries her.

Point:He didn't think u were marriage material.and I don't think he was ever gonna marry you. Move on. Leave town or something this weekend. Above all,pray for strength from God. U will survive,cus time heals all wounds. You hav a child you need to be strong for.

And I'm a firm believer in prayer.I hav seen so many results that came from prayer for me not to believe.Pray for emotional healing,and ur own man to come..and any other relationship that comes ur way,for ur own Good,Leave sex out of it.

That a man sleeps with u does not mean he loves u or will maRry u.infact,a man who is for real,wil stay,wen u say no to sex,n wil not waste time in making his intentions known.

God bless you and keep you.

Anonymous said...

AGAIN I WOULD SAY THIS ...I WOULD NEVER UNDERSTAND WHY GIRLS/WOMEN LIKE TO GET PREGNANT......THERE IS NO REASON, LOTS OF PROTECTION OUT THERE...UNLESS YOU GOT RAPED, THATS OK.......BUT STILL...THAT YOU ARE IN A LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP, DOES NOT MEAN HE WOULD MARRY YOU...BE PROTECTED ALWAYS!..DAMN...TAKE HEART ..ITS THE LITTLE BOY I PITY .....

Anonymous said...

First&foremost u must understand d fact dat dz guy ain't a defining part of ur life,yes,he might be a major part of d story of ur life,nothing happens without a reason,hw abt looking on d bright side dear,wat if he had reconciled wt u&a couple of yrs down the line leaves u again.dnt u c dz as a blessing&a season to get ur life back together.never u forget however,dat u r not alone in dz,first countless individuals have gone thru far worse traumatic experiences,second,nothing was/is wrong wt u.u r a great person!lastly,God's waiting for u to let him tk over ur worries and handle dz situation.dunno wat u value/believe,but i serzly know He's able to turn dz 'round for ur good&yes dear,u cn survive dz weekend&d next and d next after dat,remember,evn if for nothine else,u gotta stay strong for ur son and show him what a loving mother u are.He has a life ahead of him.Make it worthwhile by d seeds you sow or ur actions he sees.You cn rise above dz& make sense wt ur life.most importantly,LET GOD!!!

worl said...

still dnt knw y women put themselves thru unnecessary stress over men dt told dem its over...pls dust urself up...he's not gud enuf 4 u...there's a man out there for U....jst last week a man frm south-south was looking for a barren woman to marry...abeg dont kill urself over anybody!!

Anonymous said...

He obviously has moved on and played you while at it. Sure it hurts but you will get over it. You have your life to live and there is your son to also take care of. Ride out the hurt and move on with your life. A beautiful future awaits you even though it does not appear so right now because of the pain you are going through. This too will pass. Take care and God bless.

Anonymous said...

Pele o, been in that shoe . It was not easy at it , me stuck with a kid and then been a single mother why he parades the whole town with her. Na to take one day at a time, one step at a time . That’s the only advice.

No kill yourself, no man is worth it sha. My kid is 7 years, I am still not married but my son brings me so much joy and now I am at peace with what happened. I try to be cordial with him but have little or no contact for my sanity sake.

Anonymous said...

woooooow, i can totally relate to dis, was with my bfrd for 0 yrs only to find out last month that he just had a baby by anoda girl. sad rly sad

DEBY said...

My dear so sad thou, but you have to be strong. Remeber noboby has the right to make you feel bad without your persmission. I advise you try as much as possible to forget everything about the boy. I know it will be i bit difficult for you but please be a strong woman. Focus on the future and forget about the past. BE COURAGEOUS! BE BOLD!!! DON'T LET HIM DETERMINE YOUR DESTINY.

Oluchi said...

My dear lady,
Firstly,one thing you have to understand about men is that they are more logical beings than we are;hence they make logical decisions.A man will love with his head and not with his heart or his dick contrary to popular belief.We species on the other hand love with our hearts which put us at a disadvantage and makes it easier for us to be taken advantage of.That is why we have to make extra efforts to try as much as we can to love logically too.When you see the wrong pointers,you move foward.No sentiments.When a man closes his eyes and his heart,he does not look back so why should you?

Secondly,a man CANNOT be forced,coerced,or cajoled into marrying someone he doesn't want to.Not even with pregnancy these days.It NEVER happens,EVER.Even if he is drugged or jazzed-wont it wear off.as soon as it does BAM!the unwanted woman is out the door.

We truly live in a man's world.I can't imagine how it hurts right now,but i know it does.you've committed the first blunder by believing his cock and bull for 6 yrs,no problem.Now its time to correct that and move on.
Close your eyes,believe in your heart that he took a one-way flight to the moon and mourn him...Yes,mourn your loss.Wear black,cut your hair,do whatever it takes to pourge him out of your system and MOVE ON.

The idiot is flexing with his wife to be.Better get your grove back for your u and ur son.dont sit there crying and mopping when your true love is right there and you can't even see it.You'll love again,but this time wisely.

I've never been hurt or ditched before(luckily) and i'm not a feminist.i'm hapily married with two kids but i've learned some things and i'm grateful.That's why i thought to share.

Anonymous said...

When you kill yourself, who will look after your daughter? It's over in his mind and he has moved on. It's usually easier for a guy. I think you need to move on too. Go out with your friends,help someone do a diff task, do something that will keep you busy. Time heals, right now will hurt but the day will come and go. Focus on your life and daughter.

Anonymous said...

How can you kill urself over someone that obviously doesnt give a hoot about u? killing yourself wont postpone his marriage, talk more of cancelling it. Haba! move on with ur life ok? forget him. instead of crying, channel ur energy into doing someting like work or business and strive to be the best u can be. so that weneva he sees u even from a distance he will be suprised at how happy and successful u are and he will die a hundred times knowing that u are incredibly happy without him. all the best dear.
Incredible Bella said so!

Anonymous said...

My advise to you is to go to LOWES or Home Depot and buy shovel and rope. Use the shovel to dig your grave before hanging yourself with a rope.I am not exactly sure that the living will have the time to waste burying you. Just make sure you hand over your son to him before killing yourslf. Nonsense
--Gbenga

juliet igboekwe said...

1st of all if u both are legally married and there is o divorce then that marriage cant happen.

2nd of all u cant force someone to love u even if u kill your self u would only devastate your kid's life and put him in the hands of another woman(that's if she is nice enough to carter for him) while your ex would move on wit his life.

you both have been separated for over a year that already is a ground for divorce.

isis said...

This is really sad, I think u should confront him and demand reasons 4 his actions. I pray God gives u a man that deserves u.

Anonymous said...

aawwww sorry hun:)

Anonymous said...

For 6 yrs wt a son. Mehn some guys are heartless sha. He even hid d wedding date frm her. My dear I'm sorry to say ds but dating a guy for more dan 3 yrs and he's not sayin anythin abt marriage nd u re a graduate dat means d guy isn't ready to settle wt u. He was jst satisfyin his pleasures. It beta to move on wt ur life, it hurts but time heals nd God ll definitely send someone beta for. U can't force a man to marry u wen he doesn't want u. I jst wonder Y ppl waste der time in a vry term r/shp wen its not gonna lead to marriage. . Some men re wicked sha.

Anonymous said...

Wow!dis is serious i tink u sud avoid seeing him for now but mk sure ur child has contact with his fada,put him behind you...and pick the pieces of ur lyf 2geda u nid to moveon and stay away from frnds dat will tell u bout how the wedding went...bin in such situation b4 but we neva had a child dou...

Anonymous said...

Jst blive in God...d bible makes tells us dat He's luv 4 us is an evalasting one..I knw its nt easy bt pick up ur self..life is 2 short,He wasn't meant 4 u..if he ws nufin wud hav stopped it..d bible says God knws d plans He has 4 us,is of gud 2 giv us a future n a hope.So I will advise u 2 dwell in d tins of God n ur own man will cum..tink of d child u hav..killin ursef is not an option 4 u rite nw,cos d life u hav is not ur own...U hav 2 answer 4 it b4 d Lord..

Anonymous said...

Did u guys talk about marriage b4 avin a baby 4 him?if yes?every disappointment is a blessing.if no wellll..dats d meaning of baby mama.take heart all dsame

Anonymous said...

This is very sad! But my advice to you is: FORGIVE HIM & MOVE ON with your life. It will hurt you for sometime but it won't kill you. You are a Princess and deserve someone better. He will surely regret the day he left you.
If i were you, i will attend his wedding to see things for myself and make sure he sees me. I bet the picture of your sad face will hurt him forever. Let his conscience judge him.

Roli said...

Been there Sweetheart (well, close).

My advice is to go to church and offer thanksgiving with an elaborate komole dance and a hefty offering. Thanksgiving for a mighty deliverance from a wicked and spineless man.

Whenever you think about him, rejoice because God has shown his love for you by delivering you from a lifetime of misery.

Then make up your mind to focus on God, your child and your career (no more fornication) and at the perfect time you will be blessed with your own husband. An original correct man like mine *wink*

Amarachukwu said...

2 things; why did u break up? why aren't you moving on also? My gut tells me for him to have moved on means you were the problem in the relationship. Anyway, don't kill yourself. you can still find love but if you don't, you have your kid. We should all learn to work and build our relationships while we have them. No need crying over burnt beans!!!

Anonymous said...

Plz plz forget him ok...jst work vry hard for u nd ur baby..u can actually live witout dis dude,if he ever loved u,he would av stayed wit u no matter wat transpired..nd if u both are actually meant for each other he wudnt be getting married dis Saturday(que sera sera)so plz Move on lyk the Strong nd powered woman God made u to be...U av a Great baby to takre of so...Dat should be ur priority ryt now..not some ass whu dsnt even knw u exisst ryt now..Doubzeee

Queen Esta said...

Eiyah!...it's a pity buh u av 2 stand on ur feet and be strong 4urself and son.dis is a lesson 2 evry young person!neva sleep wif a guy dat is nt legally married 2 u and if u av a baby 4 ur fiance or bf,don't be quick 2 call d relationship a quit.dear,accept ur fate and move on wit ur life,ur husband is on his way okay

Anonymous said...

Its sad but its the way some guys are. They won't tell you they are not sure of you because they are scared of hurting you and just lead you on. It would be better if they would just say all they have in mind.
And she may have over extended what was supposed to be a 'casual relationship'
She should forget him and move on, something better will come along.

Uchechi said...

Na your fault to take-in when there are condoms. Simple

WhySoSerious? said...

Dear lady in love, Of course you love him, but He has moved on. His love is now with someone else, not you. You may be feeling jealousy, anger & resentment (which are normal), but he's chosen someone else & you need to deal with it. If he really loved you, he should've made ways to come back to you. He didn't even mention his upcoming marriage to you, that means he can't even be a good friend! I think he doesn't deserve you for starters. Pls kindly move on and find someone else. It may be the hardest thing to do, but when you do, you'd realize it will be for the best. How can you find true love if you don't let this one go? You're off the hook to find someone who deserves you. Don't let your past mess up your present/future. You also don't need to contact him, cos that would be fruitless. Instead, cut all contact with him & get over it. It will take time, but it will get better, I promise. Now let go. Good luck

Anonymous said...

I think this woman should move on just like her ex has moved on!

Anonymous said...

Pls move on, he's obviously over you

Anonymous said...

Move on my dear!

Anonymous said...

Cry me a river build a bridge n get over it. You r sitting here feeling sorry for yourself n this guy is moving forward with his life. You hv a child with him.... Yes. But u never want that child to be the only reason he's with you. The only person preventing YOU from moving forward is YOU. Find someone who loves YOU n wants to be with YOU becuz HE is deserving of YOU... Please know YOUR worth...

Sorry if I came off a little harsh

Anonymous said...

What were you guys doing together for 6 years without tying the knot? Sista, you failed to define your stand with this guy now someone else has done that. its not the end of the world;yes he is your baby papa but my dear you need to move on with your life.if you kill yourself who will take care of your kid? think about it.Joan

Ebere said...

Well, in as much as she didnt state what caused their break up last year april and why they didnt make up,i believe the guy didnt want to marry her for reasons best known to him, its painful but u just have to move on, maybe u two are never meant to be, u just have to move on with ur life, killing urself will be the worst mistake ever so dont talk about that.

WhySoSerious? said...

Dear lady in love, Of course you love him, but He has moved on. His love is now with someone else, not you. You may be feeling jealousy, anger & resentment (which are normal), but he's chosen someone else & you need to deal with it. If he really loved you, he should've made ways to come back to you. He didn't even mention his upcoming marriage to you, that means he can't even be a good friend! I think he doesn't deserve you for starters. Pls kindly move on and find someone else. It may be the hardest thing to do, but when you do, you'd realize it will be for the best. How can you find true love if you don't let this one go? You're off the hook to find someone who deserves you. Don't let your past mess up your present/future. You also don't need to contact him, cos that would be fruitless. Instead, cut all contact with him & get over it. It will take time, but it will get better, I promise. Now let go. Good luck

Anonymous said...

If he wasn't Man enough to tell u that its over, then he isn't man enough to marry u and it simply means that u deserve much better.
I will say that u summon up all the strength that u hv and be strong for u and ur children.
Don't ever think of ending ur life becos of A MAN,please, wen there are millions of men out there looking for a woman to love.

Meeolu said...

This might sound too ordinary for the circumstance you find yourself but believe it's the best and only thing to do.

I humbly advise you make peace with yourself and draw your strength from God and your child. It's a time to reflect cautiously on some mistakes that you have made in the past and move on. It's important you don't take it hard yourself and desist from taking any rash decision at this time.

If you believe in destiny then it's good you realise he's not destined to be your husband and not the end of the world. It's always better not to start a journey that will end in divorce and believe such a man that hasn't shown you who he truly is will very likely make a u-turn even if he ended up marrying you.

Trust me there are more matured men out there who will show you love and take you for who you are. Those are the likes of men you should pray to meet from this moment. However, they will come calling only when you see the positive side of this situation and you plan out the best of it.

Show the most of love to your son, let him be your best friend and make our good Lord your new foundation and all will be well.

I leave you with the scripture in Psalm 20. True love will find you and remain with you, you shall be victorious.

luch said...

my dear sister, u dont have to ruin urself simply bcos ur ex-boyfriend wants to get married to another lady.
If he realy loves u, he would have gotten married to 3years back, when u had a son for him.
this shouldnt be the end of the world for you, so many ladies have seen worse situations and are still holding up well.
God will not let u down, and will give u the man he has destined for u.
stay blessed

shadie said...

Tell him the wedding cannot hold,@least not this weekend,go and scatter the wedding.lmao

Anonymous said...

My dear,
find a friend and family to talk to just believe one thing that there is someone special for you out there,you got one joy that NOBODY can take away from you which is your lovely son the next president of American. if a man or a woman dead because of a man or a woman millions of handsome and lovly lady will match on his or her grave. you can not hold a guy or lady down because of a child if he want to stay child or no child he will sure stay, it work in the past that you can hold a guy down with a child but it no more working. it already in the picture only that you did take note, many guys did like abortion this day that why it keep silent about the pregnancy when you have, in term of relationship lady got a lot to do it take two people to make a baby is only one person that will carry the pregnancy no condom or pill NO SEX. if a guy want to married you it will marry you before a child come up a lesson for everybody it getting out of hand in U.K e.g tuface,bob marly son and story go on have a nice day dear. by omolomo

Naomi said...

Dats life Girl, unpleasant situations are bound to come,dis is one. u wil survive it, jst get closer to God for comfort, ur better days are ahead, be strong.

Terrell Owens said...

For a start: Killing yourself should be off the table, that will just complicate things further.

2. Consider taking significant time off work if you're working and spend that time (including the wedding weekend) with people that you love and care for the most (obviously not including him)

3.Cut yourself some slack and allow yourself time to grieve (yes grieve because the pain you feel can be really strong) and it will take time.

4.Finally, when you're able to see a little beyond this pain and things (may take weeks who knows how long)... you MUST go get yourself another man!

Anonymous said...

Just don't do anything harmful to urself. No guy is worth it.

Anonymous said...

Really sad story but she has to be strong Ƒό̲̣̣̣̥r̲̅ her SON,he's all she's got. The heart of man is really wicked. With time, she'll HEAL.

timmexsexy said...

just need to move on with ur life, if he is not meant for u there another person out there for u, God will be with u and ur baby

Ayodeji said...

You move on. I hope you can take care of your son by yourself. Just in case he decides to shirk his responsibilities regarding your son. If he was with you for 6 years and didn't marry you, he simply doesn't want to marry you. Move on.

On the wedding day, surround yourself with your true friends and family members. Remember he has chosen his path and now, it is time for you to do the same. After the marriage, he will come back to keep sampling what you have been steadily supplying him with in the last six years: sex. I hope for your own sake and that of your child, you will close up shop Remember he could have married you. But he chose not to.Sexing him will not make him change his mind. I hope you know that.

Be blessed.

Anonymous said...

If you kill yourself because of a man, girl he won't even mourn your death for a week. He and his new wife would even be glad that you're no more around, cos you are tied with him forever because of your son.

Most of us have gone through the same situation you are in or even worst and we survived. I can't begin to tell you my story,this page will be full.

I'll advise you that on that thursday, wake up in the morning & thank God, play your fav song and dance (you can cry too, it is allowed) before headed to your job. At lunch, eat the best meal you can afford and do something extraordinary.

On saturday, ask a friend to follow you to a spa and shopping trip and buy a nice cloth or shoes you've been trying to buy. am not sure if they accept return in nigeria, cos if you don't like it anymore after taking it home, you can return it.

OR most of all do someonething special, things you haven't done before for yourself and son to take your mind off it. even though is just for that moment.

At this time, you need your family and friends around you,cos it will take you a while to get over this.

Best of luck and God's wisdom.

summer said...

I can totally relate to your situation love but wats not meant to be is not meant to be.....i no he's a big part of your life considering the fact u guys have a kid together but ppl come into each others lives for diff reasons, he has gvn u a kid dat u shd always thank God for but its probabaly not meant to go further.....if you can, get ur frnds to tk u out that weekend u guys can travel anywr n just relax n try n have fun.....in the mist of ur tears try n thank God cos he knows best tell him to gv ur own man dat wud luv respect n protect u a man that u wnt hv to fight for after all if God forbid smtin happened to him u wud still live ur life yh? So b strong gal shit happens a broken relationship is better then a broken marriage n what dnt kill u always makes u stronger.it is well.

Anonymous said...

Thank god that you did not marry him. Move on with your life. Assess yourself. What do you lack? If it is education, get on a course and get a career.

I know a man whose woman left him to marry a rich man and he wept and wore that he would become a billionaire. Today, he is full of money. He has married another woman and has kids. The runaway woman had a kid for him.

Men prefer to marry other women for several reasons. He does not love you at all. He is just a baby father to you. Stop crying, be strong and move closer to god for comfort.

aprill said...

y do u say u love dat man when after d breakup,u did notin to get him back??? u jst folded your hands n watched him creep into d arms n panties of another!!!do u think that having a child wt him would would garantee 'HAPPY EVER AFTER N ETERNITY'?..naaaaaa!!girlfriend,it doesnt work dat way.most men would rather EAT THEIR CAKE N HAVE IT!.you dont love him enough n he doesnt love u either!!!i guess u major concern is ur kid.girly,get a grip of urself,go clubbing wt friends,give urself a nice spa treatment,jst pamper urself n hav fun through the weekend....i bet uld soon meet MR RIGHT n den,the difference would become so clear to you.

Vicky said...

Dear friend: you have to let bygone be bygone..............do as if u are happy for them and don't let dis weigh u down bcos your ex has a reason for doing wot he did........show them dat u are not the weak person they use to know

Anonymous said...

Sweetheart you should be jubilating and thanking God. Psalm 34 says in all things thank God you don't know what he has taken you out of. You have a beautiful child a true blessing from God and he is enough reason to live for. I don't doubt in the least its difficult and heartbreaking but hold on BE STILL AND KNOW THAT HE IS GOD. Don't have a pity party, to drown your sorrows don't get your girlfriends together and relive the past, put all your trouble to God. If you have to cry cry it cleanses your soul and HOLD ON you'll have a testimony. God Bless you

Anonymous said...

My dear lady, pls for d sake of ur son. Pls dnt harm urself,dnt jeopardize ur son's future coz of 2day. U'r strong,u can do it, u can survive. Occupy urself by reading d bible. Sing and dance unto d Lord. HE wil comfort u and make u strong. D Lord is ur strenght. God bless U!

sexylove said...

Is it really worth it to kill urself becuz of a guy? NO!! Pls dont do it cuz no man is worth it...well i understand ​Ơ̴̴͡w hurt aπϑ angry u αƦε̲̣̣̣̥ buh time wuld heal ur wounds, βε̲̣̣̣̥ prayerful aπϑ H̲̮̲̅͡п̵v̲̅e faith in God cuz there is nofin dat he cannot do.....still on still, dats what normally happened wen a guy did'nt do †ђξ necessary arrangements like marriage before getting u pregnant in †ђξ first place, take heart sogbo,tis well

Anonymous said...

That's too bad. Next time close your legs. It'd have been much easier to accept without a child

Anonymous said...

Babe dis is not a new story,it happens on daily basis...all u need do is to 4give him nd move on with ur lyf.He is blind cos he cnt see wat God has deposited in u.

Anonymous said...

C ur mouth lyk lmao.. Sm1 is in ds kind of situation and u'r cracking jokes. If its u or ur sista it apnd to,will u lmao?

Ode oshi

Anonymous said...

U cannot read. Where does it say daughter? Abi u won give am belle ni ode kmt

Anonymous said...

God bless you!!!!!! This is the answer to go with, see why you went thru what you did! So you can be a blessing. You really do know the way. I've never been there before, but with other struggles, praise is the way to go, seek God and all else is aDded. God bless

Anonymous said...

It is better to have loved and lost than not to have love ay all,dnt kill ur self,it aint worth it,make sure u̶̲̥̅̊ re wit ur kid and in company of ur loved ones dis weekend,it happens nd only God knows why,take hrt babez nd live for ur son. Herbee

Anonymous said...

Oh please put a sock in it. Did she sound like she didn't know it was her fault. You really shouldn't be judging when its not like you're blameless. If you can't help someone don't worsen their situation

Anonymous said...

Nobody or nothing on this planet is worth dying for, it will hurt you for sometimes but I bet it and am sure you get over it with time . Your son is the most important part of your life now, he needs you , gal search within there is still much to live for than a man who is wicked and callous!

Naomi said...

I feel your pain dear.Unfortunately if you have a child with someone even and get divorcedmale or female and they are active in the child`s life.They will always be a part of your life.
Dust yourself up,pamper yourself,surround yourself with family.cry if you need to.but please don`t say bad things about your ex while your baby is present.
This too shall pass,You might meet someone sooner than you thought.
You need to grieve and heal properly..
Hugs and kisses to you.

Anonymous said...

Sister, you need to do a thorough self-audit and seek to find out the reasons why he dumped you. This is very very important, so that the next guy will not toll the same line if the fault is actually from you. I say this because, we are always quick at blaming the guy without first finding out his reasons. For the fact that you had a son for him does NOT guarantee anything. Just move on with your life and try to work on your shortcomings. Who knows that might just be the problem.

Anonymous said...

there is no need crying over spilled milk, my dear think of him as a lost bed of roses and move ahead wit ur life don't even remember d time u've wasted wit him after-all u ve a kid.and pls d useless guy might want to come back to u on the pretense of wanting to check on his kid please chase him away and don't even consider it, think of him as a heartless and cruel bastard who considers u cheap or why else would he leave u for another after u had a kid with him.

MY TURN said...

You see dear, reading most of the comments you see people say they have been through similar situations. Its hard and VERY painful i know, trust me i have been there.In my case he almost duped me, when i found out he was getting married.Thinking i was giving my "Future husband" some millions to buy me a car asheeeey oloshi ogbeni demola adewunmi(went to OAU Ife,lives in Abuja) wanted to use my money to do wedding.If you know how i even found out it was JUST GOD.Babe move on like someone said he won't mourn you more than a minute.As BASTARDS plenty out there so are good guys.You'll get a good one by God's grace for now be a good mother and don't let your son grow up to be as beastly as his father.

Anonymous said...

take hold of yourself,let go and move on he is not worth killing yourself for,remember your son he needs you more.

Anonymous said...

take hold of yourself,let go and move on he is not worth killing yourself for,remember your son he needs you more.

Anonymous said...

why are men this wicked ehhh??? well to the lady go on a vacation on those 2 days to have your sanity otherwise you might do sometin you would later regret

juliet igboekwe said...

1st of all if u both are legally married and there is o divorce then that marriage cant happen.

2nd of all u cant force someone to love u even if u kill your self u would only devastate your kid's life and put him in the hands of another woman(that's if she is nice enough to carter for him) while your ex would move on wit his life.

you both have been separated for over a year that already is a ground for divorce.

Anonymous said...

Girl, I've been in your shoes before so I totally understand where you are coming from. Truth of the matter is that if he really loved you so much, he wouldn't wait 6 years to propose to you, even after you had his son. You stated you broke up with him last year April and you still haven't detached the feelings you have for him. No matter what, he'll still be in your life because of his son. So it's not the end of the world just yet. Phew!

When my ex left me for another woman, I thought I was going to pass out. It took me almost a month to heal, eventually I got over him. But guess what? I found my hubby right after. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I'm so blessed to have such an amazing hubby. Funny, now my ex is the one looking for me everywhere. I WARNED my friends never to give him my new number.

Please sister, no guy is worth killing urself over o! Don't try it. The guy has moved on so should you. But I believe with tym you'll eventually get over it. You'll laugh a good laugh in the future when you see him (cos that's what I do whenever I see my ex). You'll say to urself, this is the guy I wanted to kill myself for? Hisssss! lol

As soon as you let go off him, BAM!!! The right guy for YOU will appear from no where.

The only difference btw ur case and my case is that, I didn't have a child for him.

So my dear, cry it off because I know eventually you'll get over it. A lot of us, have been in the same situation but we've moved on for the better, we are now the one advising you. That's the same way you'll advise someone in ur situation in the near future. The irony of life!

xxx

Anonymous said...

"Tow the same line" nt "Toll the same line".

Anonymous said...

Idiot.I hp u laugh dat ass off until it deflates.What is funny anyway.Do u knw what it means to lose d one u love?Do u realise hw much it hurts to watch d one u love be with another?Clearly u dnt otherwise u wld ve known it is no laughing matter.

Anonymous said...

Hahahahahahaha.U r so mean.

Anonymous said...

YES!!!! It will be painful but try hard to endure because of ur child. Put this in ur mind "NO MAN IS WORTH DYING FOR"

Ruth Richards said...

So you want to kill yourself? Pls, Sista it might be painful for now but the best way you can get ahead of this is to do something that you enjoy. You have to tell yourself over and over again, no matter what happens I am going to enjoy life and enjoy it to the fullest. You were born into this world alone, God never said that your happiness is dependent on another man but in Christ alone. So you know what, if you have not received Christ, do so now, that the beginning of the journey to freedom. Visit this site: www.rhapsodyofrealities.org and read some wonderful articles that will give you a new perspective in life. Love you and take care.

Anonymous said...

proffesor X i like your analysis on this ...my thoughts exactly.....

Anonymous said...

So how do u intend to do it?Gunshot to d head?Hanging urself frm d ceiling fan?Poison?I learnt overdosing on prescription drugs is one of d easiest ways to die.U ll just slip away.So hv ur pick.D man I loved left me n married my best frnd.I live less than 3 kms away frm thm.Their kids attend d same sch as mine bt in all my pain,anger,resentment n agony,it never crossed my mind evn once to commit suicide.Why shld I give thm dat satisfaction.I hv a family who loves me.Why shld I cause thm pain?Cry,scream bt find a way to move on.Thr is more to live than being with hm.U ve a son to live for.A child who needs u so pls dnt be selfish.

Anonymous said...

Linda u r beginning to annoy me seriously.I tk my time to type n post comments which u never post.What da hell is wrng with u.SMH.

Anonymous said...

THIS IS THE PRICE YOU PAY FOR HEEDING LINDA'S ADVICE TO HAVE SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE. SIN HAS A PRICE.

Anonymous said...

U know when d Pastor says "if anyone knows any just cause why these 2 shouldnt be joined together"...thats your moment dear use it wisely!!

Anonymous said...

my dear, you are more than that. u cannot suffer bcos of an idiot that calls himself a man. i knw it is not easy, bt, u will scale tru. enjoy ur child. ur real man is coming. some one that will be crazy in love with u. tkia.

Anonymous said...

Move on girl and start thinking like a man... did u depend on him financially that can make it hard to move on.... I hope u post this Linda loo

Anonymous said...

My ex tried to hide his wedding date from me until he could tell me personally that he was getting married. We had broken up but still close. For some reason he thought I would be hurt when I heared....guess what.....I WAS DEVASTATED. I was also too proud to tell him how I really felt about him. He wanted to know if I would be at the wedding and I said NO. He was at my house the day before the wedding to ask if I had changed my mind on attending. I refused to speak with him. He got married. On his wedding day I drove to a hill that overlooked the venue, sat in my car looking at all the canopies, and I wept like I have never done before in my entire life. 8 months later, we were back together, NO JOKE. He couldn't bear being away from me and so did I. We now have a child together. I love him. I love him so much. I should have said this sooner. Its easy for people to say "move on", but when it comes to matters of the heart, even a stone cold human being becomes "akamu". I have no advise for her. I just have my story. There are sometimes no happy endings, but you have to be happy! I CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY!!

Anabel said...

Anon 8.27, u are not a serious human being. See u cracking jokes over something serious! Anyways, swt heart, be strong and don't kill urself. Its rly gonna be hard but just look upon ur child as d memory of a cherished love. Build ur life and pray to God for strenght. U will survive it. Many have been there and are happier today. Plssssss don't attend the wedding. Let them be. Visit here more often cos we at LIB love u so much n u'll always smile after reading comments....xoxo

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