When her son with 'Down syndrome' was the 'only' one in his
class not invited to another child's birthday party, a mother named
Jennifer Kiss-Engele decided to write and post an open letter to the
parents responsible via Facebook. In the message, she pointed out that
her son Sawyer, was the only child in the class that was purposely
excluded. According to her, not that her son expected to be invited to
every party, but since every other kid was invited, it wasn't right to
not invite him.
After her post went viral and was shared more than 1,600
times with hundreds of supportive comments, the Parents came across it
and have now reinvited him by creating a special birthday invite. Read
her open letter after the cut...
An open letter to the parent that thought it was OK to
invite the entire class to their child's birthday except for my
son....sharing this because I think it's a valuable lesson for all and
I'm trying to educate & advocate more. ️
Hi there,
I know we don’t know each other well but my son Sawyer and your child are in the same class. I understand that your child recently delivered birthday invitations to the entire class except to Sawyer, who was not invited. I also understand that this was not an oversight on your part, that it was an intentional decision to not to include my son.
I know we don’t know each other well but my son Sawyer and your child are in the same class. I understand that your child recently delivered birthday invitations to the entire class except to Sawyer, who was not invited. I also understand that this was not an oversight on your part, that it was an intentional decision to not to include my son.
I want you to know that we don’t have an expectation of
being invited to every birthday party. In fact, when Sawyer celebrated
his birthday last year we only invited a few close friends as we wanted
to keep it small, since it was over the Christmas break. But in your
case, this is not the same reason. In fact, you have invited all 22
other children from the class except for my son. I know it’s not because
he’s mean, you couldn’t meet a happier child. I know it’s not because
he’s not fun, he has a great sense of humour and an infectious laugh. I
know it’s not because your child and him don’t get along, he’s brought
up your child’s name on several occasions. The only reason why you
decided it was OK to not invite my son to your child’s birthday party is
because he has Down Syndrome..
I am sorry that you are not informed, maybe scared, or
uncertain about what it means to have Down Syndrome. I know if you knew
more about Down Syndrome you wouldn’t have made this decision. I am not
mad at you. Rather, I think this is an opportunity for you to get to
know my son better. You see, having Down Syndrome doesn’t mean that you
don’t want to have friends. It doesn’t mean that you don’t have
feelings. It doesn’t mean you don’t like to go to birthday parties.
People with Down Syndrome want the same things that you and I want. They
want to have close relationships, they want to feel love, they want to
contribute, they want to have meaningful lives, and they want to go to
birthday parties. It may be more difficult at times to understand my
child. But the laughter and love that you share doesn’t need
interpretation..
I want you to know that I was also like you. I was scared,
uncertain and misinformed about Down Syndrome before having my son. I
was so worried that my other children wouldn’t be able to connect with
him in the same way as other siblings do. But I was wrong. In fact, my
children are closer than most other siblings are. Having a brother with
Down Syndrome has helped shape them into compassionate individuals who
know that just because you may be a little different that others, that
it’s OK. They are not afraid to help when they see someone struggling.
And they are not afraid to approach someone they might not fully
understand. In return they have received so much love and joy from
having their brother as their best friend.
Maybe you are struggling with the words to say to your child because your child did not want my son at their birthday party. Maybe you let your child decide that it was OK to single someone out. I know it can be difficult to teach our children about something we may not understand ourselves. I struggle with this as well. But this is a great opportunity and life lesson to have with your child. They will remember the time that their parent said to them, it’s not OK to leave someone out because of their disability, race, or gender. I know you want the same things for your child that I want for mine. As parents, we want our children to be liked, to have friends, and to not be left behind. And how we do this is by setting examples ourselves and encouraging them to make choices that they might not be old enough to fully comprehend. But they will look back one day with understanding and the knowledge that you have shared with them. I am certain, that with a little encouragement, your child can develop a true friendship with my son that will leave a permanent, positive impression on them for the rest of their life.
It’s only until this happened that I realized myself that
Sawyer hasn’t been invited to hardly anyone’s birthday party this past
year. The kids are getting to that age where they often only invite a
few children to their parties and he hasn’t made the cut. Other parents I
know that have children with Down Syndrome have often started the
school year by educating the class and I haven’t done that. He’s always
just been Sawyer to me and I haven’t felt the need to talk about Down
Syndrome to his class until this moment. I realize now that I have let
him down. I have let a year slip away where I could have done more to
educate families. Perhaps then we wouldn’t be in this situation. I
realize that it’s my obligation as his parent and advocate to educate
people more about what it means to have Down Syndrome and how they are
more like you than different. I now know how important it is to talk
about it and it’s something I am committed to doing a better job of.
Please know that I am here to talk if you would like. I may be a mama bear but I am not a scary person. I recognize that we all make mistakes and at the end of the day, I think we both could have done better.
Thank you,
Jennifer (Sawyer’s Mom)
Please know that I am here to talk if you would like. I may be a mama bear but I am not a scary person. I recognize that we all make mistakes and at the end of the day, I think we both could have done better.
Thank you,
Jennifer (Sawyer’s Mom)
23 comments:
heyaaaaaaaaaaaa
-D great anonymous now as Vivian Reginalds
Chai! I can imagine...
Sad.
As If he's no human. Mtcheeeeeew
Lib addict#just passing#
Happy ending
Awwww!!A proud mother am sure the parent(s) who didn't invite her son will be so ashame(d)
#SEAneverDRY
Is all of this wrinte up because of birthday party.
So touching.
Top 5 Oldest Presidents in the World
Awwwn, dis is so touching, ThankGod d parents wer remorseful..
Eyahhhh
It is not about birthday party but about accepting the physically & mentally challenged ones among us. No discrimination against them. See them as part of us.
Adorable kid! Wonderful mom. I love that she refused the temptation be angry and judgmental in her letter. I've learnt something from her today.
Not because of the party. Learn to read.
CHAII
AUNTY LINDA....
Eya....it is well
@Galore
Having down syndrome isn't the end of the world, in fact it's the beginning of a new chapter of life. I have a son that has DS, but I have learnt to understand so many things about it and also learn from many parents. Pls don't let's create a vacuum were dia isn't. It's good to b good
In a former EU country, a senior junior school teacher asked a pupil when the pupil's parents would come to school to see a school show that the pupil would perform in although she knew that the pupil's mum is a single parent.
The cruel teacher asked more than twice but the offended mum and child kept mute since nobody would believe them or see anything wrong in such malicious statements. Some people are wicked to the marrow but nemesis has a way of catching up with them. Obviously, she was trying to call the pupil a ba*tard.
Eeeeeeeeeeyah! So touching. Linda take note!
So touching
**////********************Nawa sef
Mother's love.
AWWWW IM SO TOUCHED
Eeya, this is so touching
Eva Da Diva...
Post a Comment