I have three children with my wife. Two of our children are girls and the last who is just three years old is a boy but I have noticed that my wife treats him differently from his sisters. She's not patient with him and smacks him whenever he does something wrong instead of correcting him in a loving manner like a mother should. She also talks to him harshly. If I hadn't seen her give birth to him, I would have thought he was adopted. I have asked her many times why she treats him differently but she says I am just exaggerating. I knew this was getting out of hand when I contemplated getting a camera to see how she treats him when I am not around. That is his mother not his nanny so I shouldn't be scared to leave him alone with her but the sad truth is that I am. What should I do?
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Saturday, 29 November 2014
Dear LIB readers: My wife doesn't like our son
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Get the camera, then get a DNA test. Chances are the kid is not yours and she sees him as a reminder of her mistake. There is not much you can do anyway but to keep a closer eye on them 2.
Get s DNA test done on all three children first. If all three are your children, then you can start thinking of how to go about it
Is it possible? I never hear dis kin tin b4 biko
Amakadarlyn@yahoo.com
dna test .He might not be your son .
Maybe ur not d father of d boy dats y she hates him n angry about it. Go fo DNA ASAP
She may be mad at him cause he ain't yours , so do a DNA TEST
keep cautionin her she wil change
Was his birth traumatic for her? Or did she av post natal psychosis? U shd both see a therapist or try talking to her in a very tender,loving manner
My dear your matter tire me, you sure say na you get the pikin? You sure say na you give her the belle? . CHI.
maybe shez suffering from depression....you need to sit her down nd talk to her
visit my blog
www.glowysofiscated.blogspot.com
Maybe dats nt your child...it might be another man's child,she got from an affair or by mistake and she's pouring her anger on him!!
I am dearly sorry for this but can you find out from her if you are the true father of the child or may be DNA might be the solution so that you will know the exact truth.
You may be in for a shocker. But the earlier the better so that you may be rest assured all is well in your household. May God help you
It could be Postnatal Depression. She may have experienced this after birth but because she has the mentality to 'just get on with it', it's starting to affect her behaviour with her son.
Please speak to her and allow her to be free to express her feelings with you or if she can't, she could speak to a GP or a very close friend.
We wish you well
~
DNA test is required because ...
Keep asking her u might get something outta her.
Maybe his birth was traumatic painful or probably a mistake for her..... dat doesnt justify d mean treatment all d same
Na wa o
You are not the father of the boy. She is taking out her anger on the boy. Go for DNA test.
Get a DNA test that child might not be yours. He may be constant reminder of a past indiscretion.
Mehnnn
Who knows. maybe she was raped and that could be the outcome of the rape get her a psychologist ASAP.
Report 2 her parent or u find out if there's some she is hiding 4rm u
prayer na d key,....
Dna test already
The boy belongs to another man, that is what makes her sad. Whenever she remembered the consequences of her cheating...she will beat the poor boy.
Go for a DNA text. May be she cheated on you and she got pregnant for anoda guy. And she does not like the fada maybe that is the reason why she's treating him dat way
Go for DNA test to be sure you are the father. Its possible something went wrong and ur wife is now venting the anger on the innocent child.
Women n their multiple character.... **DION**
Thats a pure lie man, try another question, he can love the girls and not feel the same to his son, unless she didn't give birth to him. even at that
It's prolly cos u give d boy too much attention
There's sometin fishy abt ur wife,find out wat is wrng,cus a mother that carried her child 4 9 months will not hate her own blood.
go for DNA test to be sure he is ur son.. am sure he is not ur son..
Run a DNA test on him
Oh, stop being paranoid. The woman probably loves him more than you do. She just wants him to be a man when he grows up. And with the way you're whining about this, it's easy to see why she has elected to train your boy to be a man. I say this cos your write up there's no indication that she hits him. Grow some balls, man.
DNA TEST
Maybe you are not the father
DNA TEST
The first two daughters ain't yours... and the boy is yours. But guess what.... she doesn't love you as much either that's why she shows it to your son.
The first two daughters ain't yours... and the boy is yours. But guess what.... she doesn't love you as much either that's why she shows it to your son by the maltreatment she gives him
Strange.Have a heart to heart talk with her.
DNA test pls.....@least to be sure she's not regretting something she did in d past
I'll suggest you send him to your mum right away... She most probably might have had a bad experience with a kid brother or so.. The problem is psychological, so she will need to be able to see the boy as her own flesh and blood..
Probably u r not d father of dt boy. He myt b d result of infidelity on her part which she regrets anytime she set her eyes on dt poor little boy.
Sir I think you should go for a DNA test maybe you aren't the father, and she's guilty and angry because of it
very interesting.
Go and do dna first...
confront her
I think she needs therapy! But ask yourself this ! Does she have brothers? And how did her mother treat them! Because it might be psychological. .. My thought! Or maybe I watch too much Criminal minds!
oya go for paternity check......its still possible d guilt of you nt being the father might be eating her up...if you are sure..then maybe ur wife believes in d old african way of raising male children ..you knw...with a more strict hand
Probably dat child isn't urs n she is annoyed with herself for seeing a result of her cheating.
First go for a DNA test. then come back.
She could be compensating for his not being your child by abusing him. Get a DNA test.
It happens is all I can say because I've heard but I don't have babies so I can't fully understand because I adore children that are not even mine a lot. Please do not get a camera to watch your wife. That would be unfair. Think of how you'd feel If she does the same to you. Rather keep talking or visit a psychologist.. It could be issues of depression, a bad experience, a reminder of smthing sad that's making her act that way. Then please I hope u treat her well cos she could be taking out her anger against you on him especially if he looks like you or reminds her of u in anyway. After uv considered all this I want u 2 give her the benefit of the doubt by never thinking of that camera again. It might take a lil time 4 things 2 change tho but that's what building solid homes take.. a little patience not extreme just a little ----C21
Put a camera. This is to enable u ve visual evidence. Then check how u treat her, how d men in her life treated her(I mean her father brother etc) then u can see d pattern. She might ve been deeply hurt by d men in her life don't forget because a woman is married doesn't mean she actually cares 4 d male folks. This could b making her compulsive hostile to d child. Call her talk to her gently let her know she doesn't need to take out her pain on d innocent child. That if this continues she is only destroying another generation cos he will b a husband & father someday. Wish u luck.
From what you said, it seems she is not happy with the poor boy for a reason you dont know anything about. So I will suggest you secretly take your son to a hospital for a DNA test to confirm whether you are truly the father. So that it wont be that your wife is transferring the aggression of another man on the poor boy...
Parent shouldn't be too harsh on their kids but should koret dem in a loving manner. Get d camera installed, u neva can tell d hidden secret dat wil be unfolded
Things that we read in this blog sha.
sit your wife down and calmly ask her why she behaving that way.she may not tell you the truth.maybe she hate the father.maybe you are not the father.
He isn't ur son...ur wife is mad at d Child cuz he refuse to b aborted lmao
Bizarre! Like seriously bizarre!!! She needs deliverance o!
Nonsense,tell her to kill him PERIOD.
In this age of DNA test to confirm paternity?....don't be too sure, else u will be surprised
Kinda strange to see a mother treat her only son the way you described.
If she wasnt the "real mother" of the child that would explain alot even though it doesn't justify it.
Yes you might have seen her give birth to your son but is he really "your son"
Might sound really twisted but maybe that's why she treats him bad, could be a transfer of hate she has for the father of the boy.
Lately someone found out the children he thought were his ain't his.
Really twisted thought dat popped in my head lol
- It's H.
I have a feeling the boy is not yours and she resents the way or manner he was conceived, I suggest you do a DNA to confirm. All the best
He's probably the result of her affair with your bestfriend! Get a DNA test hun
Get a DNA test urgently,d child mit not b yours. She mit just b reacting due 2 her guilt.
ask her, cos d child mit nt be urs! just suggestn(laurenofure)
Didn't believe the story so I have no advice #onelovefromSnow#
Maybe ur not the father. My two pence.
You are not the father. The recentment is toward the father. Since she's not treating the girls that why, then the boy father is different. Talking from experience. Do DNA of all your children
Young man go and do DNA Of your son to find out if you are the biological father of your son or not,someone else might be the father of your son, maybe your wife cheated on you before been pregnant to your son and now she is not happy seeing that son as yours as she knew the truth and who the real father is, You can never trust some women, they are very secretive and wicked
Check your Son's DNA or Your wife's mental status. Something is wrong, he should be pampered since he is the only son.
She's what we call Nwa-mamiwota, she might not be enjoying what she does 2 her baby, but she can't help it. Just take her 4 a deliverance session, she needs it. EXCEPT maybe U d guy caused dat by pampering d little boy too much, so she believes d real. Training should come frm d person who is not biased (She). Or again maybe d baby is not urs (dats if ur sure she loves u enof 2 hate what's not frm u). Watch diz 3 points nd see if her behavior matches wth any.
@jessyangels4love
Do a DNA test! That child may not be yours and her behaviour may be as a result of guilt; knowing the child isn't yours.
Are u sure the baby is yours? She might have given birth to him,yes but what if u are not the father and seeing the poor boy reminds her of her past/mistake and she upset about it.
Get a DNA if it proves u are his father, then go spiritual. You never can tell. Anything is possible these days. Just saying...
It might be a psychological problem, please you both need to talk to a psychologist. Whatever you do, please don't alienate any of them
Does he look like u? Get a DNA Test done. He may not be yours and she could be angry about that?
I think your wife needs counselling.
She's probably still harbouring some past pain caused by you, Mr husband, concerning that child.
Did you at any point deny that child or nag her abt giving you a male child?..
OR
You are exaggerating because he's your only son and heir?; Igbo man mentality
Think about it!
*My R1.50c comment*
Reading this story, the first thing that came to my mind is 'women can do this out of guilt knowing the child is not yours' but am saying that in your wives case though. Just sit her down and get to the bottom of this issue ASAP.
i wouldn't know why a mother would treat any of her kids differently. Your son could be bad news for her. Get a DNA done if you can afford it.
I think you should install a camera in your home to see how she treats him in your absence.. You might be exaggerating really.... A boy-child could be a problem to handle sometimes you know....
hmm. Wat a lyf
It doesn't matter if its his own mother or not, if you think a child is being abused, then you have to take that child away from the abuser. I've seen mothers arrested for abusing their own children, and the children taken into welfare or foster homes. So don't ignore just because you feel she's his mum. Haven't you heard of women killing their own children? Please take the child away from her before she hurts him. Just get a solid prove of her actions, then call a family intervention for the child to be kept in the care of another family member. Member grand parents if possible, while you visit regularly. I'm guessing time away from him actually what she needs. That might make her rethink her action. Because kids are very fragile, and if she mistakenly hurt him in the process of harsh correction, she will say is the work of the devil.
Do a d.n.a test first. Something may be wrong somewhere.
Are you sure you are the father of the boy?just asking.
Ur wife wants to punish u n she is using ur son to do it. Pls treat her right n see her next move towards ur son
Probably, the Child is not yours, seeing the child reminds her of the mistake she made..
Honestly a full DNA test should be done to prove you are the father first. Cos if your son is as a result of an affair she probably regrets, seeing him could simply stir up old anger emotions which she lets out on the child.
Now if that states he is yours, then a full psych analysis should be done on your wife
Send the boy to a boarding school, by the time she doesn't see him at home anymore she will either miss the boy or have a soft heart for him.
Run go do DNA test maybe de boy remind her of de father she hates so much.
I usually don't comment, because Linda is in the habit of selecting comments to approve, but I'll type this anyway .poster you have to look into your wife's background, some families are known to have a favorite kid amongst all their kids and most time they pick the boys or a particular boy in the family, sometimes the first son or the last son,but what these parents fail to understand is this, the preferential treatment they give their favorite child tends to affect the other children left out,it affects them emotionally, psychologically and otherwise then tend to have this notion that they are second class citizens, and some of them take this attitude into their new homes which affect them in the long run,so that's why you have to treat this problem from the root,to avoid reoccurrence in future, sit your wife down and ask her what her relationship with her mum and dad was like,I think that would help you arrive at a workable solution. I hope this is helpful tho.
Maybe your son remind her of her first boyfriend that used and dumped her with no mercy....such is life..****QUEENMAYA*****
he is not ur baby dat is d obvious truth. get a DNA test to prove it...she is fighting the secret not d baby directly
Are u sure u are the father of that child? Supposing the child belongs to another man whom she played with behind your back, she wanted to keep the affair, but he didn't and dumped her, and she is angry at that, then the child is just a reminder that annoys her everyday hence the behavior towards the child, just saying. #ThoughtsOfAMumuBoy
Its simple kowai the child is not yours
U just have to live with it. Shez he's mum anywyz.
Shez his mum. U've got to live with it.
Have a DNA.
Maybe she wouldn't like to spoil him as the only son.
If this story is true at all, then it's weird cos a woman tend to dot on male child than a female. Or Oga father are u unconsciously priotizing hum above hus sisters?
Well may be the son might not be his i have seen this type of thing before he better do a DNA test.
Mr Man should understand that there is always a reason behind every action...unless he finds out what it is that makes the wife feel contempt for the boy...anythin he does wld nt solve anything. I just hope the Man is not exagerating all thiz finz.
if you both truly brought him to this world and she doesn't like him, then she's a witch.no matter what,as long as the child came from the woman's womb,he will be cherished.
Go for a DNA to know how that child came. U never can tell.
Psychological effect of her cheating on you, the boy reminds her of the man she cheated on u with. Get a DNA test.
Go and do a DNA test. The boy might not be yours. Hence, the aggression towards him. Maybe he reminds your wife of the Father!!
lts u dat wnt to smoother ur son wit lv,n u Dn,t lv d girls put ur priorities rite lst.Anoder thing if u fight wit ur wife alwayx she might ment it on her son or if his delivery was difficult datz anoder.But basically ur jst being overprotective.
maybe you should try talking to her and see if she will listen to you and stop treating him like that after all the boy is the man of the house after you right just give it a try and see.
Ogbeni carry camera put for house. No time.
Get the camera so she can she for herself. Go to counseling. Also speak up when you see it. I was taught that the most damaging part of child mistreatment is the fact that when no one speaks up, the child internalizes "I must deserve this". Kudos to you for being such a conscientious father! Bravo!
Go get a DNa done
Take a DNA test #elizabeth
Do a DNA test.maybe a bus conductor is the father and that repels her.
I believe u may be exaggerating. But assuming, not conceding that what u say may be d truth, please check yours and d child's DNA. He may be another man's child.
Get the camera abeg!!! Pls even mothers kill their child
You should try seat down and talk to her amicably, make her undastnd dat u don't like d way she treats her son. And if she doesn't give u a valid reason y she is doing so, maybe her parents shuld b involved. Linda wonda y u hate me so much dis is d 2000th tym I'm posting on lib and my comments goes off is it a crime to b addicted to LIB. Not fair @ all consider please
I think u are giving more attention to ur son than the other kids. Dats Why u are particular bout her attitude towards the boy
Get the camera and show her let her see with her own eyes how badly she treats him. Sometimes we need to see our own behavior to believe it. Show her and don't let her brush it off, force her to face her behavior.
And pray my brother. Pray God touches her heart.
Mr man calm down n let ur wife train ur pikin way
If e becms a yahoo or a criminal tomorrow will u be happy
U just being paranoid nd blinded by the love you have for him
Go n do. DNA test 4 d boy cos he might nt b ur product yl r conscience keeps pricking r
First off conduct s DNA test to make sure the child is yours cos she might be suffering from a guilty conscience. If the baby is yours sit her down and talk to her regarding her behaviour
Go for a paternity test
Dunno oooo.....go for a DNA test.
Maybe u r not his real biological father.
Get a camera and expose her just within ur family
DNA test ASAP. If it come out the baby is yours, then she may have a case of postpartum depression that went untreated. But I say DNA quick because the child maybe the result of something she did and she regrets...
Consider DNA TEST ASAP.....something is fishy.
Hmm
Ur Wife is a Winch....simple
She probably got impregnated by another man which she now detests and she's taking it out on the boy
Get a nanny then or probably a uganda nanny.
Ok go get a DNA test....it might be transferred aggression
thats quite abnormal but not uncommon. do try to check for other changes that occurred since she gave birth to him 3 years ago. she might be suffering from post-partum depression . also, did she have a medical condition due to that pregnancy, or she is unhappy with her body since the pregnancy. so many things might be wrong. she needs a psychiatric evaluation and then, you can proceed from there.
prayer is important too. if you know the holy spirit, let him help you. God bless your home
First thing that comes to my mind is, he probably ain't ur son. Could be the unwanted product of an affair with another man. Could be she was raped and didn't tell u, and the boy brings bad memories.
Take the boy for a DNA test..Confirm if he is yours or not..Hatred from mother to child in that manner is rare. She is hiding sometin..
She hates the boy cos you are not the biological father,take my word for it and go for a DNA,you will be shocked.she got pregnant from a fling outside of the matrimony and you found out she was pregnant before she could remove the foetus.sorry man but ask Femi kuti how e dey go.my advice for any sane man now is once your wife delivers get a DNA test to confirm you are the father before you start spending your life earnings on the child!Roger
guess u shuld take him 4 a DNA test to confirm his paternity....maybe seeing him reminds her of some1 she now dislike xo much(possibly her former liver) and she is just trying to transfer aggression to him
Zini
The boy was probably conceived with another man's sperm.
I think you are either exaggerating or you're just looking for faults to leave or have your brains examined.
I hope she didn't get the boy from another man, you need to run a DNA test. I am a woman and I don't a reason why a woman will hate her son that much.
Boy or girl, child is child and you don't know the one that will take care of you in future.
You need to find out if you are the father of that child. It could be he reminds her of her mistake. Sorry but its worth checking if you are that worried.
I will suggest a DNA test,s.imoh@yahoo.com
I will suggest a DNA test,s.imoh@yahoo.com
Well, Maybe you are not the father, and she feels guilty every time she sees the poor boy! Go get a DNA my man!!
She probably hates you and reflecting it on your son.
Check the DNA of the boy first.
Take your son far away from her she is a monster
You sure that child is yours? Just asking.....
Sure u don complain taya bfor she gave u a boy or may b she is trying to b careful so he wn't b over pampered bin d only boy + no mother will watch her child suffer
Do a DNA test Nd thank me later in d spirit Hehehehe.. Seriously, u shd tell her mom, make ona do family meeting
Plssss put a camera dere to really know.... It might be ur original child died at birth n its anoda baby... Hmmmm enough said make I wait to find out from oda LIBers
There must be something abt the boy that makes her feels some type of way.. Maybe a pain or incident that occurred during his pregnancy. Is always like that for some mothers.
Mayb he is from another man...product of rape? Or infidelity or a rejected lover...
My advice do a DNA first to establish if he is yours...
The child might not be yours, she is probably taking the anger of a one night stand that resulted to his birth. Paternitytest.com
pls do DNA testing first! i dont trust women this days. maybe he's for another man... who knows and she feels like he's threatening her existence in ur house....dunno if am making sense o but my guts tells me to do DNA TESTING
Go for DNA test, the child might b another man's child and she is taking out the frustration of what she has done on the child
Waiting for people's comment on this issue...
The boy is not ur son, simple.
Get a DNA test to confirm if the boy is yours. If the result is positive then something is bothering her real hard.
Pray
Pray
Pray
DNA test
Three kids are taxing - do you help out at home?
Could she have post partum depression?
I THINK U SHOULD TALK SOME SENSE INTO HER CUS SOMETHING IS WRONG
The child is not yours,i know this because i have been thru it before,and she maltreats him bcos she is insecure and scared that you may find out so she takes out her frustration on the little boy,take a paternity test soon,don't let her know about it.you will thank me later
The child is not yours,i know this because i have been thru it before,and she maltreats him bcos she is insecure and scared that you may find out so she takes out her frustration on the little boy,take a paternity test soon,don't let her know about it.you will thank me later
My dear,
You need to secretly take the boy to a good hospital and demand for a paternity test..
Chances are that you might not be the father of the boy.. It doesn't matter if you were present during the delivery or not..
It's possible that she hates him cos he reminds her of his real father..
Well, am just saying ooo.. You can't really say you know someone very well including their secrets, even if you are married to and living with them..
May God help you..
Oga pray about it... seriously talk to your wife about it.....
My dear u better go run a DNA test, probably the baby isn't yours so she hates seening him,maybe it occures out of one of her cheating
She probably pouring d frustration meant for u on d poor boy. U may need to treat ur wife better. She may ve a dislike for men bcos of u.
Am sure you are not the father of the child.. The mom is angry how the child came, and the biological father of the child must have done something nasty to the fucking mother, and this is a case of Transfer aggression
Pls go for a DNA test oooooo
You probably are the one pissing her off and could be that your son looks like you in terms of physical appearance and perhaps attitudinal.And since she cant attack you directly, she chose to direct it to the boy instead. So check yourself first.
Get a DNA test bro sharply!
You might as well get a DNA test to know if it's your son. She might be that bitter because she did something wrong she couldn't forgive herself for.
Go 4 a private DNA with ur son..
You need to do a DNA test discreetly. Maybe he's not your son and is a sad reminder of an indiscretion your wife wishes she could forget
Do a DNA test. He might not be yours
May be she's not happy with her self for what she had done.(The Child might not be yours)
Padi nothing should be taken for granted anymore in dis obodo Nigeria. I will suggest that you secretly take the boy to a hospital for DNA.. The boy might not be yours.
Do a Dna test before you proceed
Talk to her..and show her d video
Hmmmm...very suspicious behavior. With stories I am hearing these days, I won't be surprised if he isn't your son
Simple! Your wife doesn't love you, believe me, that boy is a reflection of you, the girls are a reflection of her. If you can set a recording device, one day you will discover her true feelings towards you. Fear some wives ooh, they would so pretend you won't even think of it. Peri peri
That's definitely not normal. If she's not willing to, then you should try and seek the help of a family psychiatrist. Tell them what's going on and see what they suggest.
Act fact before this child becomes scarred for life. Just for the fact that ur sending this to a blog shows that ur not exaggerating, something needs to be done and it needs to be done fast. A child can be abused even by his own biological parents. First, u need to Install the cctv asap.Report your wife to authorities within the family which she respects and if she still doesn't change report her to child welfare services. A child deserves to feel safe in his own home.
Oga no be you get that pikin!
Go for a DNA and check if d child is urs cos some women ain't faithful
simple
go and do DNA test for him ,then you will know why she hate him
she was forced or raped ,she hates the biological father of your suppose boy ,that is why she is directing her anger at the poor boy
her consent is killing her
What u should do is get a DNA test dat confirms is not ur child,..d child is d result of a mistake she made,so she hates him.
Is she his real mother? If yes then you have nothing to worry about. Maybe you feel that way because he is the only boy and you want him pampered.
Get a DNA test done on him quickly.
Get a cam plus she mite still b suffering from post delivery truma
Go for a paternity test.
Why do I have the feeling all this is based on you. She does not want her son to end up becoming just like you when he grows up. Try this you change in the house for 6 months and watch what happens
Bros no vex o.
Abeg go do DNA for a your children.
E fit be say na away match and she dey vent her anger on the poor boy why him enter belle.
Just my opinion o before una go chop who una no know.
Mayb she likes d gals more,dnt blame her bt bcareful too
~@iamjbankz SA to President Jonathan 2015~
Dear writer pls go and seat down. Get more busy biko.
Dis one pass me ohh..or mayb ur nat d father of d child..#mytotsexactly#
she must be a very distressd woman....nt lyking ha son ke...or maybe shez frm d mamiwater kingdom where dey prefer gurls to boys
Maybe the child is not yours. Maybe your wife is putting her anger and issues back on the boy for wierd reasons. She might see her as an outsider. I feel he's not yours
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