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Wednesday 28 November 2012

Dear LIB readers: Should I tell my husband that my sister is actually my daughter?

From a LIB reader. Quite long...enjoy...:-)
I currently live in the UK and I am married to the most loving guy that I can ever think of, trust me I have been around so I know the attribute of the word "most loving guy" though all is not perfect at the moment but the dilemma now is that I am stuck between my mother, myself, my husband and our four months old baby and I really think I have made a very serious mistake courtesy of mother and all her advice.
I have known my husband for close to 12 years and of which have been married now for 2yrs. Unknowingly to my husband I had a baby for my secondary school love just after I finish my SS3 exams in Nigeria, and with the help of my mother we were able hide this from everyone apart from my immediate family because my then boyfriend denied the pregnancy and my mother did not want word to get out the her most precious teenage child has become pregnant. 
 
To cut the long story short, I gave birth to my first baby girl in a very small town in one of my mothers numerous friend's village, and my mother flew me abroad shortly after, and my baby was given to an Orphanage home near Port Harcourt run by again one of my mother numerous friends.

Anyway, that was such a long time ago now cos I am now a hard working girl living in the United Kingdom with a very good job at a blue chip company, and my baby girl Uju who is almost 13yrs old was brought up at the orphanage until she was six years old, then my mother who had moved to Lagos return to PH, and adopted my little girl and even till today my little girl doesn't know her mother she think my mother is the God sent woman who rescued her from the Orphanage and she is a good girl, she lives with my mum in PH as my  junior sister and she calls me her elder sister.

I forgot to add that a childhood history is very similar to this, through my childhood I think my mum had at least four husband or live in partners, I have four siblings and only the two eldest are apparently from the same father, and all our fathers abandoned us and do not want any thing to do with us even to this day after establishing contacts with them when we grew into adults, my mum says they were all bad men but now that I am much older I am beginning to doubt, she has always told us that our father absconded when they was no money but that was until she started telling us who our real father is, I only knew mine two years ago and I have made contacts but my real father is not interested at all, even to meet me or talk on the phone talkless of my mum, but my mum said that he has always been a bad man and that it is because she loved all of us that made her bring us up all alone by herself when all the men in her life left for dead.

As I was saying, in my early childhood I also was sent to the orphanage till about the age of four years before I was brought to a new house with my mum and siblings and we were calling my mum "aunty" because she had told her current boyfriend/partner that we were her own younger siblings and she had lost her own parents and was charged with the responsibility of looking after all five of her younger brothers and sisters (three girls and two boys).  Things became OK for a while until my mum's boyfriend found out and accused also her infidelity, my mother's boyfriend who we used to call Uncle threw all of us in the street in the full glare and jeers of the whole neighborhood, that day remains one of the most embarrassing days of life till date. 

My eldest brother once told me that they have had to deal a lot more than myself in regards to my mum lies being found out that my own father whom I never really knew also threw all of us out the house because our mum was found out of the same lies and that was why I was sent to the orphanage because they were homeless at some time, and that half of the people I called my uncles then were actually our mum's sleeping partners and they (my elder sibblings, I am the last btw) used to hear when they were having sex with mum, and if they tried to confront her that mum used to beat the hell out of them and send them out to look for food and not return until they have money for food and school fees.

The funny thing is that I have sat down and looked at my mother life and I do not want to have that kind of life, today my mother can be said to be very comfortable but I do not think she is very happy, I think she is very lonely and unhappy though knowing my mum she will never admit and its the same with all her numerous friends, they are all sad and unhappy with their current situation, some have been accused of their husband's death to take over properties, the others either their husbands have left and never returned or nonchalant to their well being, then with all their children being totally disrespectful to them, all having problems in their own lives, its either one is in jail in a faraway country or the other one has been jobless for ages or still no husband after countless suitors would come, have numerous failed marriages or its either one thing or the other and out of all my mothers children I am the only that seems to doing OK, and this is mainly because of my husband, he has always been there for me  from when I arrived in the UK every other person including my siblings agrees except my mum and she has always been trying to cause trouble between myself and my husband saying he is not good for me and that he is using me even after having a baby for him who is just four months old now, my mum is indirectly telling me to leave my husband of two years that me and my four months daughter will be better off without him and that I will have grave consequences in the future if I do not leave him on time that I will always find someone else that will love me more.

Please readers tell what I should do, should I tell my husband that the little girl that I told him was my younger sister in Nigeria is my daughter or should I keep mute, please don't forget the first daughter does not yet know that I am her real mother. I know my husband very well and I think he will never forgive me nor will he forget and the way he acts sometimes makes me think he may already have had heard some of these stories about my mum because he has always been a very respectful person but now he doesn't have any single respect for mum and sometimes extends to myself, I know his trust for me has greatly diminished that makes me think he is still in this marriage only because of our four months old daughter, I am beginning to think he may be suspecting some things especially with my mum's background because its like he can see through my mum and I am also beginning to think that is the reason that my mum is trying to break us up before the truth comes out to save me from the kind of embarrassment she received the numerous times that she was found out. My mum may be a lot of things but I still love her dearly and I think I will still always love her.

I know telling my husband  this will greatly hurt him, but I don't want to hurt him that much also I don't want to lose him if he finds out or should I just enjoy while it lasts, last time I have similar situation like this was when I was in the university  but then we were just lovers, I cheated on him numerous times though he never caught me red handed but sometimes out of the blue he starts throwing hints here and there that only if he knew of my affairs that he would know of such things and I could not help but confessed to him, this damaged our relationship for a very long time and he was out of my life for a while then things returned to normal, he forgave me because he thought I told the whole truth and no secrets, he made me swear that I am not hiding anything else from him, the way he said it was almost like he knew about my past but I took a gamble and did not spill, he just smiled and said I love u then we got married shortly afterwards. He loves our baby girl so much that I am afraid the truth will deprive this young baby the enviable love of her father when the truth comes out, just like I myself lost out on my fathers affection due actions of my mother and I do not want this to continue to my daughter. Please honestly what should I do.

243 comments:

1 – 200 of 243   Newer›   Newest»
fifi said...

Yea, u r right linda, Extremely long.

Well, u know what they say about the truth: it sets you free (or it puts u in more trouble than before) tell him n be prepared for the worst.

Goodluck (not the president)

Anonymous said...

For christ sake???????????? Trying to catch my breath! What a story! I think u are like ur mum. So u cheated on him several times and he still married u? That means he really loves u. So telling him about your child wouldn't change anything! Just tell him and get it over with!

kemsugar said...

this is a tough one, but if ur hubby wl understand u can tell him.. God will see u tru.but linda dis ur story de like Ghana film oh....lmao

Anonymous said...

U need to see a pastor.I tink dere's sth out of d ordinary going on in ur family

its me said...

Nawa oooooo,u need God in ur life mehn.seriously!

BLOGLORD said...

Honestly, take him out one cool evening, tell him how he is been the best thing thAt has ever happened to you and as such u cant bear to hide anything from him then spill... tell him the truth!
it is well hun.

Anonymous said...

I really feel for u n frm ur confession u wnt to be a good n loving mother. We all ve secrets dt we cudnt wnt to share n I understand where u r comin from. I will advice u pray abt it n then tell ur husband ALL the TRUTH. Let d will of God be done!!!

Anonymous said...

i HONESTLY TINK U SHLD PRAY ABT IT AND TELL UR HUSBAND....BUT KNW DAT IT WLD BE HARD & HE WLD GIVE U A TOUGH TYM,BUT WIT GOD HE WLD FORGIVE YOU. bCS MY FEAR FOR YOU IS THAT YOUR MOTHER IS A DANGEROUS WOMAN N SHE CAN USE IT TO BLACKMAIL U LATER IN FUTURE CONSIDERING THE FACT THAT SHE DNT EVEN LIKE UR HUSBAND....JUST IMAGINE HOW DISASTROUS IT WLD BE IF HE HEARS FRM UR MOTHER....MY HEART GOES OUT TO U REALLY...BUT DO D RIGHT TIN N TELL HIM N GOD WILL TAKE CARE OF D REST,,,,JUST TRUST GOD!

Anonymous said...

Linda, wateva happened to 'editing'?. It was hell reading thru dis post.

olami said...

Dis is super story*yawns*

Anonymous said...

What you need is a good publishing company or idumota film maker! Goodluck

Anonymous said...

To break the chain. I will say pray about it and if you feel it is the right thing to do, then tell him. it is much better than him finding out from your mum or any of her friends.

Anonymous said...

linda get an editor looong story .....my eyes are hurting i beg*angry face*

Anonymous said...

Truth is bitter... 'But you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free'
Much as it looks alright to let sleeping dogs lie, you are better off telling him. I he truly loves you he will accept your past and you will free yourself from the bondage of lies and deceit.

SHANTELL said...

Hmmmm! Am speechless

niku said...

NO HELP SO COMPLICATED

ZOELANDA said...

Please learn to use ur punctuation marks, dey r very important. I really do not understand d story..
2ndly, Aunty Linda i have bin unable to comment with ma phone, pls am i d only 1 facing that challenge?

Anonymous said...

Yes tell your husband. cos that's the best thing to do.

Jeffiejay said...

You have issues. You need God. There might be a curse on your family. Talk to your mother and the family elders. god help you. Amen.

Anonymous said...

Dear sister, I suspect that you are under a generational curse as it appears to be a kind of evil cycle of adultery and promiscuous lifestyle in ur family line. I suggest u deal with this prayerfully and with a lot of wisdom too. Get a copy of prayer rain by Dr.DK olukoya and pray prayers that break the yokes of generational curses and evil family patterns.Futhermore, let ur husband know about it, God will see u thru. Will be praying for u dear - From ur friend in the school of prayer

Anonymous said...

Sha boo! At this point keep ur mouth shut!! If ur ready to move on, tell him. Ur marriage will surely end. Nothing worse than denying ur child. Anyone who does this can even kill.

Choko Milo said...

This one be like Nollywood script (Living in Bondage Part 3)

Anonymous said...

one thing is certain,he will leave you.Do not assume he does not know about your mother,he does and just waiting to get evidence and you are gone

scorpion said...

Erm...how do I say subtelty say this.. Err..ok!...HOE-rrible Liar! Like wtf were u tnking. U better keep your dirty little secret to yourself before you scar the girl for life. Just go for a confession or something to ease your guilt. What the dude doesn't know wouldn't kill him, leave it that way.

lopzy said...

my dear is better u tel d truth now before it wil b too late. cos if ur hubby should find out about ur daughter himself, am tellin is goin to be like livin in hell. and all d tins u're avoidin wil surely come to pass. but if u open up to him no matter how it hurts, if he truly luv u he wil 4give u. is just a matter of time.do u think dat ur daughter wil take it lightly wit u? thank God ure workin @least u can take care of ur family....so i sugest u tel d truth cos only it wil set u free.

Anonymous said...

You & your mum needs Jesus.....Your mum obviously dnt want a happy home for you & you guyz feel you are smart. Dont worry its jez a matter of time †Ñ’ξ truth will come out. You better be honest with your man & let him love you for you instead of dis lie u living.
....@seglon

Anonymous said...

Please tell him.....the end!

Boladale said...

In life there is something we cannot choose, and that is the kind of family we are to be born into. Also there is nothing new under the sun, but I will advise you as a Christian to pray and seek the face of God before meeting your husband. Fast for like 3 days ask for God's mercy and tell God to give you a new beginning; pray that God should touch the heart of your husband before you meet him. Meet with your husband but don't start downloading every detail about your family. Ask for his forgiveness, and please don't go back to your vomit again. I pray God will have mercy on you.

Anonymous said...

Pls pray fervently about this and am very sure God ll direct you.It's well with u amen.

Anonymous said...

this is so sad. but always remember that honesty is the best policy no matter what! please tell him! tell him! tell him! tell him! i think he already knows doe but its way better if he hears it from u. tell him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i'm tired of shouting. please just tell him

Anonymous said...

This story get as eee be ooooo... Too much inconsistency, almost like hollywood movie. Anyways stop all the lying at the end of the day the chicken will still come home to roost. You will be found out at the end!

nekkyville said...

Dis is quite a srios mata..like mother like daughter.u were even cheatin on him..hmmmm.all I can say is first get ur finance 2geda nd urself too alongside ur children.coz he sure nids to no d truth bt its a hard blow so xpect a terible reaction coz he isn't Jesus christ.he cud send u away,or he cud mk u suffer for a yl til tins come bak to normal.so get prepared.nd u beta act fast else if someone else tells him,u r doomed nd dere wudnt b room for amendment.takia

Anonymous said...

tell him, its beta to let it out now dan leta, please tell him!

Nwa mekiri sense said...

i am so confused. dont know what advice to give u.

Unknown said...

Please, tell him and face it now and have peace. If you kip it to yourself and enjoy it while it last, i am telling you that that thing you call enjoyment will be pains all through when you r suppose to enjoy the secret. Pick courage and tell him. and face the music now.

Anonymous said...

This is a very sad story indeed.. I think your mum is to be blamed for all these. As a mother she didn't set the right example for her children and getting pregnant in ss3 was also careless from u. I think u should tell ur husband about it before he finds out by himself.. Think about your 13 year old daughter too.. Don't u think she deserves to know the truth? You should really act fast before it's too late. @thameslegend.

Unknown said...

Wow! That's a very sad story. But I think you should tell him. It's possible that he already has hints about ur past or might even know about ur past. Who knows? It's possible that he is just giving u time to tell him the truth. My advise to u is to tell him to whole truth. It's better for him to hear it from u than to find out about it from someone else especially ur mother.it would hurt him but try to win his heart and trust back. I belive God would help u

Anonymous said...

I'll adive dat u pray 1st, den call ur husband and explain everything to him, sparing no detail. He will b mad but if he loves you so much, he'll understand. Afterall, its ur past, he'll understand if he loves u well enough.
Lucy

Anonymous said...

bullshit story

Anonymous said...

I feel so sorry for you really don't know what to say

Anonymous said...

Dis is really hopeless. My advice to u is to b rily nice 2ur husband. Make him see d reason he married u all ova again. Den spill d bean. He wud surely forgive u wif time. If u don't, he wud prolly find out leta so its beta he hears it frm u. U mite b shocked he wudnt even react d way u fink. He mite jes accept it nd go on. Jes act right.@funkiedipsy

Anonymous said...

this is serious, but i think you should tell him the truth bcos no matter how long u hide the truth, it will still come out one day.....if u are meant for each other, things will surely come back to normal. u too will be free from guilty conscience and ur daughter will be happy to know dat u are her mother NOW and not "LATER when d truth comes up and she will have to hate u for d rest of ur life and dis will leave u miserable for d rest of ur life....its better to say d truth and put the devil to shame and again, seek Gods guidance on dis, pray fervently and believe God is in control. its better for ur husband to hear it from u than to hear it from someone else, he will think that u are d devil itself.

★★PRINCE CHARMING™★★ said...

I don't wanna give you a lecture of what you have to do and the reasons why you have to do it but all I have to say is "TELL HIM EVERYTHING!!!"
He deserves to know and surely things will work out.

MJ said...

Chai Linda, u no dey edit? Madam, tell ur hubby exactly what u have said here! Yes, he'll be hurt but if he truly loves u, he'll understand.

Anonymous said...

Tell him the truth! Lies always have a way of coming out & the results are usually fatal. The earlier he knows & coming directly from you,the better. He would be very angry,but trust me,he will end up forgiving you. Don't mess up your life with lies! Lies never yields anything good!!!

Anonymous said...

*Yawns* Too damn long. You should have realeased just part1 today.

Anonymous said...

no tell m abeg
www.naijaexposed.com

Unknown said...

it indeed is very complicated. i think you should pray, get closer to God and help your mum get help too. with God everything will be ok. maybe not at first but eventually.

kendra said...

Oh my God,this is kinda messy! But I sincerly fink u should tell him.. That was something that happened years before u met,u didn't want to tell him then but right now u really need to tell him and face whateva it is that comes out with it...

Telling him now would help decide where the marriage stands. Tell him u both need to talk. Sit him down and tell him u want to tell him some stuffs and u don't know how he's going to react but u just feel the need to let it off ur chest.. When u done sharing the whole story with him,watch his reaction and know what next to do.. But its better u tell him than him figuring it out..

As for ur mom,u can't help but love her,that's why she's ur mom but u need to let her know there is a line she can't cross when it has to do with ur marriage.. Let her allow u manage ur home,or does she want u to have different fathers for different babies like her?...

I pray the Lord give u strength during this time cos u would be nEeding it and I pray the grace of God holds ur marriage..

MINE said...

Sweetheart, first you must tell ur husband d truth not minding wat wld happen cos u love him. If he eventually find out it wld be worse knowing aw he feels abt ur mum already.N sorry, but u av to keep away from ur mum nt cos she is a bad influence.

Sally said...

If you truly love him, you have to tell him the truth before he finds out and it will be very bad for you if somebody that's not you tells him... Remember this, nothing is ever hidden, the truth always comes out... Like you said, you had that child when you were young, you are not that person anymore, you have a better life and your husband knows you now.. Yes he will be very upset when he finds out but he deserves to know the truth about the woman he loves...

MINE said...

Sweetheart, first you must tell ur husband d truth not minding wat wld happen cos u love him. If he eventually find out it wld be worse knowing aw he feels abt ur mum already.N sorry, but u av to keep away from ur mum nt cos she is a bad influence.

Anonymous said...

Tell him the truth! Lies always have a way of coming out & the results are usually fatal. The earlier he knows & coming directly from you,the better. He would be very angry,but trust me,he will end up forgiving you. Don't mess up your life with lies! Lies never yields anything good!!!

YUSUF GIWA said...

The truth is bittter but it can help you to go a long way. You have to say the truth before he tell you the truth. A painful action from him today can make you to have a happy home with him...... the pain is on the short run while the hapiness is for in ternity that is if you have to say the truth before he find out finally. As for your mum

Anonymous said...

The earlier the better, pray and seek the face of God, confess to God and make sure you repent n surrender totally to Jesus then He will surely see you through. You just need to tell your husband.

Anonymous said...

I advise that you tell your husband the truth because what you fear the most might happen if you don't.Furthermore I need you to pray that God will break every evil re-occuring event in your generation cos clearly,this is generational until you stop it with PRAYER.The Lord will help you ma.

Anonymous said...

Remain in your marriage.

queen bee said...

wat an uncoordinated write up full of grammatical and spelling. Errors!.......Linda dey help edit na,Haba!!
Nyway madam poster,don't even try it,telling ur husband,cos men don't like truth at alllll.........

Eg.D day u tell a man u'v had a D&C he leaves u,but will end up marrying a gal dat has done it 10times but kept her secret!!......play d game dia way!!....a word is enuf for the wise.!!

Morning Glow said...

wow.... sad to say but your mama is a very crazy woman and the cause of your very many problems. Cut the lie web now and tell that man the truth, cause i bet he will find out sooner or later, which will be much worse for you.
MY ADVICE: cut the lie web, TELL THE TRUTH & deal with the consequences. Don't be like your sadly, bad mother and keep running from consequences. LIVING HONESTLY IS ALWAYS THE BEST.

femi said...

I think first of all if you do not go, find a good small bible believing church and start attending. U need the word of God in your life and prayers. That's the only way you can survive this tangled web u and ur mum have created.


Do u really think your mum has changed if u do not, then u need to get your daughter back with you ASAP. Although I understand the impoprtance of preserving your marriage but sometimes everything just needs to come out into the popen then u can truly repent and become a better person. I'm not saying go tell him right now cos he'll surely leave u consoidering ur history with him. Turn to God for guidance on how to tell ur husband. I hope no one is going to judge this lady and call her names. She has made mistakes but no one is sinless. Be constructive.

My dear get ur daughter back, u have already messed her life up so make it up to her and with diligence and hard work u can show ur husband that u have rlly changed.

Anonymous said...

Oga..this is a tricky situation..moreover I think even if ure not gonna tell ur husband,ur child has to know ure not her sister that ure her mum..a 13yr old girl shld be able understand this and save from more traumatic experiences...I feel u shld tell ur husband cos if u hold in it and d truth gets,u might end up losing him in end..this is tricky and I feel sorry for u

Eya Ayambem said...

First and foremost, you are not the only Nigerian with a long story Ok? Shit happens!

Next is, you are in biiig trouble already! Tread carefully so that you don't end your marriage. Does your husband have any friend he holds in high esteem? Are you friendly with that person? Can you trust him? Then, you need to go confide in the person first and let that person be there when you talk with your husband, BUT, let him pretend like you have not spoken with him. This one is bigger than you two. This friend of his will still be the one to talk sense into your husband if he tries to dump you.

When confessing, say even the one you have not written here. Free your mind OK?
Do not try to do it alone.

Your daughter should know only after you have sorted things out with your husband. For now, let the poor girl be!

Anonymous said...

Hmmmm this story is long o, pls tell him.

Anonymous said...

For how long do u intend to hide the truth from him, it is better to tell him, before he hears it from someone.

Anonymous said...

Hmmmmmmmmm dis 1 na serious matter ooo like mother like daughter .if U̶̲̥̅̊ tell him D̶̲̥̅̊ truth now ,D̶̲̥̅̊ trust È‹̝̊̅§ totally gone .I pity U̶̲̥̅̊ cos U̶̲̥̅̊ might end up broken up wit him

Dee said...

U'VE DISCOURAGED ME WITH THE QUIET LONG HAHAHAHA, DIDNT EVEN START IT. GOOD LUCK TO HER THO.

Anonymous said...

take the bull by the horn, confess ur sins to ur husband and if he is urs he will forgive u

Anonymous said...

hmmm i think u need to change like accepting christ seriously
pray and pray so that God can go ahead to settle things on ur behalf before you tell him
am like 80% sure he knows about it but just waiting for your bucket to get filled before he spills like crude oil hehehehe
Fade

Anonymous said...

pls madam,,, tell him n set urself free from God's wrath..

Anonymous said...

A relationship built on lies will definitely crumble like a pack of cards. you need to look at the life of people who you take advice from. are they any good?? sometimes mothers don't know best! i think you need to sit with your husband and have a heart to heart talk with him to find out exactly why he has had a change of attitude and try to make your relationship work. BTW, some things are better of left unsaid......

Anonymous said...

waoh! long story der,i think u inherited a bit of ur mom"s character. needless to say, there is no secret that stays hidden forever,i think u should go ahead and tell him,u also nid to prepare to tell ur daughter cos ders nothing as bad as she finding out herself later but first deal wiv ur husband and let him realise u av made mistakes and want to come out totaly clean and need his help. he will find out sooner or later and that will be unforgivable with worse consequences. be ready for the worst though and thankfully you have a job. you also need to take your daughter away from your mother so she dosent learn her bad ways. lastly you nid to pray this is not a generational curse and talk to man of God about it cos i see a pattern developing. success.

Anonymous said...

If you want an honest advice then let me give you. from your experiences so far, you can tell that every lie you told has a way of coming back to hunt you so why bother keeping it. if you love your husband as you have said, then tell him, but this time, tell him the whole truth cos the bible says 'only the truth shall set you free'. i know its going to be hard but take a bold step in the right direction and God will make things right. do it now that your baby is not old enough to be cut up in the mess. also tell your older daughter the truth. dont end up like your mum - lonely. i beg you in the name of God just tell your husband and hand over your marriage to God and do it nowwwwwwwww!

Anonymous said...

Nne one thing is certain,he will find out...I dnt knw how pple do it,weather they permanently leave their ears in your bedroom but word will always get out..me sef I am as confused as u r,if he has lost respect for ur mum then he has heard things and more he shall hear..Damn the consequences,tell him now bfor one evil relative tells him..if he throws u out..fine..its a chance to start on a very very clean slate,if he doesn't throw u out and I hear say u no worship am,I'll come throw u out myself.

Anonymous said...

My dear I think u shld open up 2 ur husband n tel him everythin cos a similar fate awaits u if u decide 2 follow d footsteps of ur mother. It is well

Anonymous said...

Welllll dear I share a diff dad wiv ma bro bur ma Mum was very sincere about it Right from Time n wen ma mum stoopped seeing ma Dad wen I ws in Primry sch she didn't date anibody we Lived in our house like a 1big family!Bcos your mum's life n marriage wasn't perFect doesn't mean yours won't be soo move away from your fears n be sincere to your husband let it be the truth Cosed a minnor fight not a major figHt!Ma step sisters MOm to didn't just have ma dad aS her hubby bur todaay ma steps sisters r hapili married one is gonna celeberte er 21St anniversary this year sooo try and movee above your fears you cnT be like your mum iF you choose not to the bibble eveN says wE will be greater than our paarents!I will neva wnt to make the mistakes ma mum made marrying a man @20 whom she suffered domestic voilence from him for 8yrs tho he had all the money!But she's soo happy now cos wE are kids are graduates n doing well n she's married To jesus!Sooo stories are diff am sure your gonnna learn from your mistakes and from your mums but the best thing in this life is to live a sincere and opened life n reltionship esp wiv youR Husband also Pray To God to give You directioNs on how to go about it Don't hide the truth Spiill it out and all will be well!Make sure yur marriage wOrks noobody even your Mum has the rigHt to destory yur marriage be Prayerful andd alll will be well!

Anonymous said...

Na una sabi,ashawo mummy and daughter.hisssssssssssssssssss

Anonymous said...

hABA YOU DO NOT LOVE YOUR MOTHER AS YOU CLAIM. JUST ASK US ABOUT YOUR DAUGHTER AND THAT WILL BE JUST FINE. Remember all your mother did was just to make you children fine if you ask her, though she is wrong please love and forgive her. concerning YOUR HUSBAND YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD HIM THE TRUTH FROM THE ON-SET IF A MAN TRULY LOVES YOU HE WILL MARRY YOU CHILD OR NO CHILD. BUT as it is now tell HIM AND BE READY TO BEAR WHATEVER COMES AFTERWARDS. THANK GOD YOU HAVE A JOB.

Anonymous said...

Wao just short of wards. Is better u let him no now cos wit d way ur mother is doing she can easily tell him. Jst 4 her 2 accomplish her mission. Gud luck

Nicholas said...

I'm hoping you are one pretty woman. cos that will be your get-out-of-jail -free pass. Do the right thing and don't live the life your mum lived.

Laide said...

"What a tangled web we weave when we seek to deceive". This is a long response, but please read on.

It is unfortunate that you have gone so deep in this mess. It is unfortunate the things you have to go through in your childhood. From what you have said, you have suffered a lot from the wrong choices your mother has made, and have lost a lot of things that you will never get back. However, you are now an adult,and you are able to break this cycle. Doing the right thing is not always easy, but you should start by telling the truth. Would you like to be lied to by your husband for 12 years? You should probably not expect anything much from your husband, given your past history of cheating.

But more important than your husband is revealing the truth to your daughter. She is living her life based on a false identity of who her parents are, and probably imagines daily what her real mother was like, not knowing she is the one she calls "big sister". It is only a matter of time before the truth comes out, due to the number of people that know about this. Who knows, she might overhear this from a conversation.

Besides her need to know the truth is the fact that your experiences are quite similar. You felt bad when you found out who your real father father was a few years ago and wished you had known the truth earlier. Why put her through the same thing?

Also, it will only get harder with age. She is still at a fairly flexible age where she can better deal with the fact that she has been living a lie, compared to when she finds out at age 20.

So, the summary of all this is to come out with the truth. I understand it is a difficult thing to do, but this is the best you have it. Someone said,"The only thing worse than you lying to me for a year is adding two more years to it". And frankly, don't expect anything more from your husband. If he divorces you, you quite deserve it, but he might forgive again. But come out with the truth and be free. What is the point of going through the bondage of hiding all this, and the truth still comes out at the time when the stakes are even higher.

Finally, I encourage those commenting not to pass judgement and pronounce death on her. But who are we to judge? "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone". It is easy for us to judge the situations of others without having walked a mile in their shoes.

Anonymous said...

genuinely confess all ur sin to God n ask 4 his(God) forgiveness den tell God to take control in every step dt u will be taking. so 4 u not 2 experience what hppen 2 ur mother, let ur husband know how bad u re filling inside u 4 keeping such secret frm him den tell him frm beginning 2 d end of everything dt concerns d girl. tell him the truth and let God intervain. wish u d gud luck.

Unknown said...

Explain, everything without holding anything tiny details back. 'Cos soon or later, He'll finds out and believe ♍ε̲̣̣̣̥ ‎​Æ”☺ΰ would wish ‎​Æ”☺ΰ had told him earlier.

Anonymous said...

Welllll dear I share a diff dad wiv ma bro bur ma Mum was very sincere about it Right from Time n wen ma mum stoopped seeing ma Dad wen I ws in Primry sch she didn't date anibody we Lived in our house like a 1big family!Bcos your mum's life n marriage wasn't perFect doesn't mean yours won't be soo move away from your fears n be sincere to your husband let it be the truth Cosed a minnor fight not a major figHt!Ma step sisters MOm to didn't just have ma dad aS her hubby bur todaay ma steps sisters r hapili married one is gonna celeberte er 21St anniversary this year sooo try and movee above your fears you cnT be like your mum iF you choose not to the bibble eveN says wE will be greater than our paarents!I will neva wnt to make the mistakes ma mum made marrying a man @20 whom she suffered domestic voilence from him for 8yrs tho he had all the money!But she's soo happy now cos wE are kids are graduates n doing well n she's married To jesus!Sooo stories are diff am sure your gonnna learn from your mistakes and from your mums but the best thing in this life is to live a sincere and opened life n reltionship esp wiv youR Husband also Pray To God to give You directioNs on how to go about it Don't hide the truth Spiill it out and all will be well!Make sure yur marriage wOrks noobody even your Mum has the rigHt to destory yur marriage be Prayerful andd alll will be well!

Laide said...

"What a tangled web we weave when we seek to deceive". This is a long response, but please read on.

It is unfortunate that you have gone so deep in this mess. It is unfortunate the things you have to go through in your childhood. From what you have said, you have suffered a lot from the wrong choices your mother has made, and have lost a lot of things that you will never get back. However, you are now an adult,and you are able to break this cycle. Doing the right thing is not always easy, but you should start by telling the truth. Would you like to be lied to by your husband for 12 years? You should probably not expect anything much from your husband, given your past history of cheating.

But more important than your husband is revealing the truth to your daughter. She is living her life based on a false identity of who her parents are, and probably imagines daily what her real mother was like, not knowing she is the one she calls "big sister". It is only a matter of time before the truth comes out, due to the number of people that know about this. Who knows, she might overhear this from a conversation.

Besides her need to know the truth is the fact that your experiences are quite similar. You felt bad when you found out who your real father father was a few years ago and wished you had known the truth earlier. Why put her through the same thing?

Also, it will only get harder with age. She is still at a fairly flexible age where she can better deal with the fact that she has been living a lie, compared to when she finds out at age 20.

So, the summary of all this is to come out with the truth. I understand it is a difficult thing to do, but this is the best you have it. Someone said,"The only thing worse than you lying to me for a year is adding two more years to it". And frankly, don't expect anything more from your husband. If he divorces you, you quite deserve it, but he might forgive again. But come out with the truth and be free. What is the point of going through the bondage of hiding all this, and the truth still comes out at the time when the stakes are even higher.

Finally, I encourage those commenting not to pass judgement and pronounce death on her. But who are we to judge? "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone". It is easy for us to judge the situations of others without having walked a mile in their shoes.

Anonymous said...

don't tell me if you want to keep your husband, i sure wont stay

Anonymous said...

don't tell me if you want to keep your husband, i sure wont stay

Anonymous said...

I think its best you tell him d truth now before he gets to know its better than way at least he wud try to forgive you unlike when he finds out he wud jus get angry and what U̶̲̥̅̊ trying to avoid wud now happen.

Anonymous said...

My dear..I read ur longspeech,! Pls I beg u..tell him d truth,bt dnt tell him directly, snd sme1 dt u kw he listens to..some1 dt u kw if he/she says "sitdown" he wud.snd dt person,..it wud stl b ugly yea..bt I bet u..ul stl have ur husband @ d end, if u choose not u, ul b fyn, mayb 10,20yrs.bt I bet u..wen d truth comes out,ul regret it.TAKE MY ADVICE,nd b happy,! PLEASE PRAY! GOD LISTENS! I BET U.m no saint, bt I'm a testimony!xoxo..

Anonymous said...

Maam,tell ur husband. Its a 50-50 chance uve got. I will also advice that you keep loving ur mum but keep her at arms lenght. Cis

SempeMaster said...

Jesu.

Prayer
Counselor
Pastor/Parent/Respected elder that can intervene
Your husband

In that order. May God help you and you shall not turn out like your mum because at least, you are willing to be honest. God will make your husband regain trust in you. All the best! xx

Anonymous said...

Please DO NOT listen to your mother's advice. You have found true love which is a good thing. be contented with the man you are with an stop assuming or imagining situations. I think you shld just tell your husband the truth in a manner that he will listen and forgive you. Take intentional concious steps towards not being like your mother. Tell and prove to him that you are a different person from your mother and you want him and your daughter to be happy if he'll look past d issues you had in your past and give you the benefit of the doubt. Hopefully it'll work. Either ways you'll do the right thing by letting him know

Anonymous said...

Long story, culdnt even finish reading. Sounds too fake #justsaying

Anonymous said...

Please i will advise that you should do everything humanly possible to keep and protect your present matrimonial home. If not you might end up with your mothers experience. Since your 13yr old daughter is not living with you and lucky enough the girl know you as her sister. pls be carefull.

Anonymous said...

I think is better to find a way to tell ur husband now before he hears it from another source. from ur mum's attitude is likely she will tell him if u refuse to leave ur husband as she advices u. He will surely forgive u. Make a move now b4 is to late. best wished.

Tinwa

The Realist said...

Wow. What a story. I dont know if I should feel bad for you because of your difficult upbringing or feel bad for your husband because of the secret you have been keeping.

If I was your husband, I would want to know the truth instead of being kept in the dark. The truth would however have unpredictable consequences on your marriage, and your relationship with your daughter.

If I was in his shoes, I would be upset, but I would not end the marriage because of the love we share, the child between us and the fact that this happened before we met. I woud however not be able to trust you for a long while. That is something you would have to build again. If he really loves you as much as you say he does, he will stick it out.

Dele said...

Egbo ju

Temitope said...

Wat a story,it will b beta if u tell ur story as it is to ur husband n break all ties with dis ur mama. Ur mama wants no gud relationship for u i bet

shile said...

Wow.... U are ur mother... To not be 100% like her.. Tink u shld tell him and wateva coms outta it.. U take it as ur destiny.. Above all tell the truth so not to end up lik ur mum.. Of wch I guarantee 80% ur gonna end up like her... Dis Jst patethic!!

Anonymous said...

my dear i really feel for you, but no matter how sad it is, sat him down the tell him the truth abt u,ur daughter and may be sketchy side of your mum, if he trully love you he will stick. than letting him find out later it will be so bad. he will feel u can even kill and bury him alive. only the truth can set u free. pray about it, b4 you start. its had thou but do it, and believe God.

Anonymous said...

Urgh this is so fucking long! Na novel? From what I've read sha .. Moral of the story 'The apple doesn't fall far from the tree'

Anonymous said...

my dear, it s gd u no dt u ve a bad mother, hweva u realzed on time, seck d face of God 1st & then tell him cos definetly he ll find out 1 dy, ur mum may even be d 1 dt ll expose u b4 him ,so i implore to tell him, but, on his hapi mood,

Anonymous said...

Is this is all? You are not the one who killed Dele Giwa???!!!

Anonymous said...

Akuko akalia. Chai. See biography. But your mama na big time hustler o! (No offence) Just passing by.

Anonymous said...

To be honest, U should have told your husband before marriage. But now you are married u should let him know. The truth about lies or hidden secrets is it will be revealed someday. the most important thing is to remember you are not your mum and every decision you make will only have a direct impact on your life. Tell your husband the truth. it is best he hears it from you and noone else. NB not sure you should tell him the tales about your mum. Regardless of how your mum lived her life you husband is subjected to respect her. Disrespect should be a no no. They dont have to agree but he definetly needs to respect her. Most mum do anything to protect their children but the decision that was made while you were younger was your mum's mistake not yours. Every decision you make now is your responsibility.

Anonymous said...

Now u blame ur mother 4 wat? Was she d 1 dat told u 2 have unprotected sex or wat? Or did she tel u 2 get pregnant? Pls blame urself n leave ur mother alone. Stop lookin 4 who 2 blame. Rubbish

Anonymous said...

I advice you to tell your husbnad. Respect will become 0 if he ever finds out #MyTwoCents

Anonymous said...

Now u blame ur mother 4 wat? Was she d 1 dat told u 2 have unprotected sex or wat? Or did she tel u 2 get pregnant? Pls blame urself n leave ur mother alone. Stop lookin 4 who 2 blame. Rubbish

Anonymous said...

Now u blame ur mother 4 wat? Was she d 1 dat told u 2 have unprotected sex or wat? Or did she tel u 2 get pregnant? Pls blame urself n leave ur mother alone. Stop lookin 4 who 2 blame. Rubbish

Anonymous said...

OMG what an annoying long story i got a headache reading it but the truth willl set u free u should have told him the truth before getting married to him, its still not late good luck

Anonymous said...

You should have saved yourself all this troubles by telling your husband the truth right from the beginning. Its not gonna be easy but TELL HIM.

Anonymous said...

Firstly, u need to break away from the spirit of Like Mother like daughter... Then ask God for direction, u did not build ur marriage on truth, so it can stand d test of time... Move closer to God, He only can direct you rightly

Unknown said...

Chai!

Anonymous said...

My dear I will advice u tell him if truelly he loves u he will accept the child and still u,my mom made that mistake she denied to her lovers and she asked me to call her aunty since my childhood now am 22,and I don't knw my dad,I have been living with no parental Love all my life,every child needs parental,Love and to be honest with u am ready to 4give my Mom if only she will tell ppl that she gave birth to me,I wish I can call her Mom just once.so its hurt a lot ur baby needs U and pls be proud of her.# aunty Linda I go beef u ooo u no dey post my comment, why?

gray smiles said...

hi, it most be very hard for you and I say that honestly. People make decisions that they think is best for them at that moment but sometimes you have to think of what is best for others. Do you want your daughter to be raised up by your mother? To maybe dopt the same morals your mother has? It will hurt you, even if she doesn't know you are her mother and it might be too late to help her.
Also, as for your marriage, secrets always come out and even though it will hurt him when you tell him, imagine how much more it will hurt if he finds out much later and from the mouth of someone else, perhaps your mother.
Tell him and tell your daughter too, don't take away the option of them being able to have a real, strong, honest and loving family from them. Your daughter is a big sister now, let her have that.
If you think it will be hard to say the story twice, bring both of them together and tell them the whole truth, don't try to blame it on someone else, tell them what drove every action you took.
Good luck! you will be fine and much happier. Maybe not at first, it will be sooo hard at first, but you will be raising your new baby in a secret free environment. Finally pray, you will be surprised.

Amiga said...

Na wah o, this one pass me abeg, ya mamam is truly something and you are a chip off the old block.

Anonymous said...

Dis is very complicated, u hv to trust ur husband enough by tellng him all these stories. If he truely loves u lyk u said. It suldnt be a prob

Anonymous said...

Boy!
This is a very serious issue.
Wow!!!!!
Honey, first, you have to come clean with your husband. If u don't then you and your mother will be one and the same.
Second, you have to tell your daughter that you are her mother. Eventually she'll find out and thing will look/get ugly.
Lastly, you love your mother; that is a sure thing but u need to get the fact her. She has lived her life! She lived her life choosing to make her own choices whether good or bad. This is your time. This is your marriage. Be the best u can be. Be everything good that she wasn't.
Remember the old saying, "nothing can be hidden under the sun". The earlier u come clean the sooner you deal with whatever mess that the truth might bring and the better you'll feel about yourself. Keep your mother out of ur marriage. She's already ruined all of hers.
Trust in God's love.
All the best dear

James said...

Like mother like daughter. Shio!!!

Add that to poor grammar and you have a retard.

Anonymous said...

Sincerely, I will advise you forget you ever had a child and move on quietly with your marital life and working hard towards your marriage been successful and happy as it once was.
Concerning your mum's threats to your husband, please you will need to play along and try cutting the relationship and communication gradually. Thank you

Tunji said...

My dear, if truly u dont want to live the way of your mum its better u let ur husband know the truth before he find out himself, I believe he will forgive and forget, you will only experience hardship for a while and continue to enjoy. Please tell him.

imodupsy said...

Please u rili nid 2 hav a deliverance 1st cos I smell *Generational curse * here.You nid 2 tell d truth too no matter wat!!God will surely see u thru in Jesus name

Anonymous said...

My advice; tell the whole truth and explain how difficult it has been for u. Good lucky.

Anonymous said...


My God!!! bt y on earth shld u keep that kinda tin from ur husband?so u mean u actually lied in front of God on the altar wen u were saying i do!Gosh dats so bad of u k, pls u dnt need any advice to kw it is bad, and u have to go tel ur husband ok...

BONARIO NNAGS said...

My dear 1st I wish to salute ur humanly spirit of not aborting d baby u had out of wedlock,secondly for trying to fashion a life different from what u had while growingup and to be a mom better than what u had to ur children.
My advice is dat untill love is tested,its worth is not yet proved,dis is a test of ur husband's love for u. It won't be easy but its bettwr u let him know now tnan when he finds out himself. Ur mom has proved capable of acting Brutus in dis case,in d sense dat her desire to see d end of ur relationship may lead her to let d cat out of d bag, just to throw spanner into d relationship. I wish u d best of luck.

~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA3310

tonia said...

Sorry to say dear bt u r just like ur mother better tell ur husband d truth b4 he finds out from an outsider.

Anonymous said...

Hey there, that is a very touching story. However, you have to do the right thing. Whatever is happening is obviously a spell that has to be broken. u need to tell your hubby and deal with the consequences. Live with the truth than die in shame and deceit. My uncle had a similar story and his wife didnt tell him until the boy was 21yrs old. They are still together. As long as you face the truth and get it over with, the more peaceful your life would be. This is my first time leaving comments on LIB so take it and run with it.
PS: U need to pray without ceasing

Towncrier said...

Too long joor . Chaz B or Labe orun things

Anonymous said...

hmmmmm dis is very sad! your mother affected your life negatively. you have to tell your husband before it gets too late. you might lose your marriage but you will have peace of mind. God will help u raise your kids. Pray to God for directions.

Tunji said...

My dear I will implore you to tell your husband before he find out himself, if truly u dont want to live you mums way. I believe he will not want to loose u after u use ur own mouth to tell him the truth, u will only experience hardship for a while and everything will b fine again. Pray for God forgiveness first.

Anonymous said...

prayed with a fasting be serious about it 1st that God should forgive you and secondly, God should soften the mind of your husband.that God should not allow anything to scatter ur marriage. possibly discuss it with your pastor too. before telling ur hubby because if he knows on its own the situation might be worst.

Unknown said...

Pray about it first then tell your husband.

Dayo said...

Tell him,if he finds out later,especially from someone else(and he will cos nothing can be hidden for long),it will hurt him even more.Now,abt ur teenage daughter,don't u think she deserves to know that she is not an orphan? No matter what,she did not ask for this and I think it is really mean to treat her like that,with u,it's just ur father dat doesn't want anything to do with u,with her,it is betrayal from both her father and mother,in short,the entire family.Do you really want ur kids to say the same thing about you that you are saying about your mum? If not,then rectify it now,u are already 13years late,don't drag it anymore.

Anonymous said...

SORRY MY DEAR

Anonymous said...

You need to tell him. Consider the little girls situation, her thinking she doesn't have a mother.
Also if he doesn't find out now, he will surely find out later which will be greater problems for you. The earlier the better.

Anonymous said...

So sad, linda is not home!

Anonymous said...

1st of all let that bastard daugther of urs knw her father pls introduce her to her own father, u are trying to protect ur second daughter for ur husband not to deny her love yet u are denying ur own 1st daughter her fathers love and even ur own love too cos u said she dnt even knw u are her real mum and thats too bad pls mk her knw u are her mum and that she belong to that family nt adopted and pls dnt tel ur husband since tings are nolonger d way it use to be b/w u too cos frm d look of tings i tink his already fade up with u and d mariage just looking for a single reason to dump u so if u just break d news to him he wil have all d reasons he need to dump u tho u knw him better than we do so u knw what to do but pls mk that 1st daughter of urs knw her own dad gudluck and neve forget to tell God dis story of urs tho he knws but always remind him he wil do somthing.

Anonymous said...

God wil see u 2ru.bt pls tel ur hubby.its d best option.

Anonymous said...

No u r not

Anonymous said...

frm d look of tings very soon ur own daughter is going to write about u just d way u wrote to us now especially if she finds out frm somwhere else that d family she tink adopted her is her own real family and that her anty is her real mum while her adopted mum is her grandma she wil neve 4gv all of u infact if she ever tel her own story to d world people wil render curses on u cos dis is wickedness.

Anonymous said...

If the foundation be destroyed wat can the rightoues do, PRAY and REBUILD a fresh foundation, always remember ds will involve demolishing the structure on the bad foundation. But dts safer dn allow structures on a Bad foundation to live on, it will surely fall too but more disastrous. Ask victims of last collapsed building in Lag, Noise wld av been much if Lagos had done d demolotion itself. U already building a bad foundation for ur 2 children,like ur mum did for u. For there sake, Collapse all now, and REBUILD on TRUTH, Godliness and SINCERITY, Don't b selfish here, Ur husband action may b unpredictable, but u will be saving ur Children future. STOP the Cycle(Generational curse as some will call it). Pray well well. Ready for anytin from Husband. Its the foundation we dealing wit, structure on it will go with it. God guide u.

NEKS said...

I jus tire!!..I kept scrolling,hoping I had gotten 2 d end,but 4 where,I no fit abeg?..wait a minute,if ds chick is claiming 2 reside in d UK,den dey probably speak pidgin ova der,cos her grammar,almost cracked my lens...
U shldnt get in2 marriage wt secrets such as dis one,U hav 2 tel him sooner or later except U ,U are in a better position 2 know d date dat wld b beta,howeva don't leave it 2 long

Unknown said...

Nna mennnnnn!!!! Nne your story dikwa ecyclopidic. If na so u wan take tell ya husband abeg skip some boring points and get straight to the point. Try and smoke some weed the day you intend to do this. that way, you'd speak from your head cos dis one no be heart matter. you fucked up! Big time babes.... you knew all these while about your past, your mum's way of life, your father, and your sister actaully being your daughter and you claim you love your husband yet not enough to tell him (or have told him) for 12 years of your pathetic life the most important thing.... the truth! say that young girl wey e de see for your mumsy house na really your pikin!(Hilarious when stoned).Should he leave you, know you brought it upon yourself and not your mother. You had the opportunity(Plenty)to tell him the truth but decided against it. A happy relationship and home is always based on the choices we made in the past and those we make everyday. I feel sorry for you because this same mother who you tried protecting when you had the opportunity to speak the truth is the same woman that will ruin you.
I am an advocate for Love. I strongly belive it is not called the greatest commandment for no reason. If you love someone, why would you lie to that person and for that long? would you want to be lied to? I bet if the tables were turned from your school days he would have stood no chance no matter how hard he would have tried to win you back. worst is you as d woman even without evidence will raise fire and brimstone by the words you'll say. So same way you would have felt is the same way he would feel when you present your matter. Only difference........... He might smash your face in. Not for your sister being your daughter but that you have kept him miserable for 12 years! Also know that young girl whom you have deceived all this while one day someone will tell her the truth about who her real mother is.Usually, always in a fight or quarell with someone, maybe at school or somewhere. somehow she will know the truth will look for you one day after all, you found your real dad didn't you?
You deserve what is coming for you both from your husband and daughter.
That said, I also suggest as many people have that you start fasting and praying. If you don't believe in God you better start now. The bible says when in trouble Pray. I concur cos you truly are.

Good Samaritan said...

Whatanepicstory.

Chop Chop said...

I go tell my papa oh!. Good luck.

Teacheridara said...

The truth always prevails. http://idaraumosen.blogspot.com/2012/11/what-is-responsible-for-mans-sexual.html

Anonymous said...

please can we stop name callin and cursing as well. if u go thru a psot and dunno wat to say or comment, pls kindly read d post and leave d commet for dose who have something nice to say. Linda, some of ur bloggers need to mind deir words. # now let d name callin begin#

ibrahim bello said...

This story sha sounds like naija film sha...lmao!!!anyways first of all you need to invite God into your life and that of your family by calling someone higher in the spirit than you,i.e a pastor,someone like Matthew Ashimolowo.He through the leading of the holy spirit can tell you on what to do.On the other hand,pray and change from your wreckless lifestyle.Sorry,and God help u aii...

Anonymous said...

The crucial factors I'm gonna add to telling ur husband n daughter is to be prayerful n apologetic no matter what!! I'm sorry I did this, there is no excuse enough to justify my actions!! Give both time, don't get anger or defence!! Relax, let God work on them!!! Doing this, is securing the future of ur beautiful daughters!! Remember One time, LOVE is not emotion!! It's an act!! So no matter what happens after telling them, never react with ur five senses which re responsible for channelling emotion!!! Jesus loves U!! Confess that daily n in time of difficulties!! Arise n shine cos the truth has set u free!!

Anonymous said...

Part of the movie(release date:2017); I eventually did not tell ma husband of my daughter and my relationship wit ma mother got worse and she wanted me out of the marriage, One day ma husband called me and told me to pack my luggages and leave his home, I persuaded him wt I did bt insisted I shld ask my mother, Then I knew ma mother had told him evrytin, my then 13 yrs Old (now 18) discovered the truth abt being her mother, ahe was disappointed to have bn raised as an orphan by her her family, left d house disappointed and has nt returned, I heard she's wit one of her BF(older to b her father tho). Pls wt do I do now, to stop ds cycle, b4 my daughter get pregnant for this man. Madam to stop this seasonal film at this point. REBUILD ur foundation. Be the brigde.

Anonymous said...

S/o to li. Y'all read www.pizzletainment.com Madt blog.... Tell your husband....

Anonymous said...

Linda, leave ds epistle matter and get us better gist, d chat between gloria mba's husband and thelma ozzy smith av been released! U never hear? Trust me, u dnt want to carry last for dat gist

Anonymous said...

Better yet, if you cannot talk to your husband face-to-face, maybe you should write to him like u just wrote this, since it expresses everything.

mz irene said...

abegi if i hear dah u tell him.youll juss ruin ur home for nuffin. my dear kip ur secret cos wah he doesnt know wont kil him.....abi do u fink its all his secrets dah u no?

Anonymous said...

First of all, i am disgusted by all the idiots that are insulting the lady and calling her and her mother names!! You fools how are you sure you are your fathers child?? how are we sure the woman you call mummy is really your mummy??big fools!! and to those looking for good construction and bad English God punish you!! If you know you don't have any advice to give, shut the hell up!! Nigerians are hypocrites sha ahan!! *sigh* I feel so sorry for you but sincerely the only way out is to come out with the truth. God is your strength.

Anonymous said...

Your mom is d cause of all your problems. I think u should come clean to your husband (u should have done this b4 u got married to him). Tell him everything. Keep no secrets. Tell about your other daughter and about ur mom (everything she's done). Beg him to forgive you for not letting him know all this earlier. U would be surprised by his reaction. Lies are hurtufl and so is lying by omission. Don't allow yourselff end up like your mom and her friends pls. Don't deny your child her father cos when he does find out (if u don't let him know urself, he 1-"" leave u. Think about this and pls pls do not listen to your mother. I think she's cursed or possesed in some way. Btw, have u eva thought about that other little girl u left behind who thinks u r her "sister"??? Have u? That's absolutrely selfish! I'm a single mom and I would neva think of lleaving my child for any guy or pretending he dsnt exist just so I can get married. Stuff like that always comes back to hunt u. And remember, men could always leave u but ur child stays with u 4eva

CHI

simple baby said...

if you read through this post you are unemployed.DONT ARGUE

Anonymous said...

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Uloma said...

i know this babe personally actually: wow this story is actually true o but she's not Nigerian though and i also know she will never tell her husband the truth. save ur comments

Anonymous said...

Pls Pls, pls, take a fast for a few days, pray and get a pastor who will stand with you when you eventually tell your husband. You need deliverance prayers, a break from that life style not to reoccur in your life or that of your children. And you need to take your daughter ASAP from your mum, so you can instil some values in her to avoid a repetition. God will touch your hubby, and all will be well. Dont forget Pray and fast. Linda pls post my comment.

Anonymous said...

Abeg sell the story to idumota marketers. U better tell him cos he will still find out. He will stay if he loves u. It wasn't ur fault. Blame ur mother.

Anonymous said...

My dear, in my opinion, you have to prayerfully deal with your fundation and break that evil family pattern. In fact you need deliverance. And your mother also needs deiverance. Then you surly have to tell your husband because he will surely find out in the long run... There are good churches were you can go for delverance programmes in te Uk such as MFM and VIctorous Pentecostal Church. It shall be well with you. The heart of men is in God's hands and God will touch your husband to forgive you.

Anonymous said...

tell him the truth but expect unpleasant reaction coz it's painful,if he's prone 2 violence tell him in an open place lest he kill u, make things right with ur 1st daughter don't feel let down we all make mistakes but don't repeat it again.

Anonymous said...

dz person can think. she should ryt a script

Anonymous said...

Anonymous: Is it a true story or a fiction? If it is a true story, tell your husband the truth and go for deliverance because it is a spiritual matter that needs to be addressed supernaturally.

Unknown said...

Sis., I dnt buy to the idea of 'seeing the pastor' believe majority of them would make the case worst... Just pray and follow your innermost conscience... #Absolute Truth!

Kindly, visit >> http://chiboychuks.blogspot.com

Martins (GlossyMart Tech Gadgets 07037317400 or 08116202737) said...

Sometimes the truth hurts;but what I assure you is this,if u decide to tell ur husband the truth,just begin as of then to plan for another marriage cos he must surely break up with you but another thing there is that if it is the will of God for your marriage to continue,nothing then can put assunder.so just tell him the truth and get urself prepaid for the worst cos there is nothing that can ever be hidden under the sun...wish u luck

Miss Michelle said...

Oh dear wre do I begin. I think u should tell ur husband the truth trouble is already lurking in the corners it's beta he hears from you than from sumone else. As for ur mom there is a saying misery likes company. Dnt live ur mother's life, live urs she has lived hers. Its time to break away from ur mothers shadow. And also get on ur knees n pray to God to save ur marriage from the storm that is coming, u will survive it what doesn't kill u makes u stronger my only prayer is that ur husband is still standing by ur side at the end of it all. Gud luck

Vera's blog said...

Tell him and get it off your shoulders
www.verashortstories.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

This is a very difficult one,the truth will set you free.also I will advise you to go on ur kneels before God,ask God to go before you and touch the heart of your husband.your marriage will work if only you say the truth and shame the devil in your mother.also tell him every thing regarding you and your mum and that we love him and doesn't want to loss ur marriage .be ready how to face his change but trust God to amend his heart to love you more.gooddluck

chiamaka said...

hi linda, this story is long and it is still practised in nigeria today
well my advice to her is she should try and talk to her husband with her mother and family members by her side ,but there should not talk at once because the husband will think they acted the whole thing up
i hope this work but first and foremost pray about it and those postpone it ,it make telling him much more difficult
please follow me at chiamakaigbudu.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

Fine story!, firstly what is your decision on this matter? secondly, are you still in the business of sheating on your husband? thirdly are ready to give your life to Christ or to keep with yourself and remain in bondage?

With the way things are, your husband knows nothing, but your conscience can hurt you to death.

I cannot prescribe any solution for you until you give answers to my questions above, but the fact is that GOD is a mercieful God if only you are ready for him to have mercy on you

Unknown said...

i advise her to tread carefully and with prayer.
she should not postpone telling her husband and she should try and talk to somebody her husband holds at high esteem maybe his parents who will understand and ask for forgiveness.
one question if you tell your husband that the girl is your daughter,what of the girl herself ?Are you going to tell her too?

Anonymous said...

Please my Dear,
Give u love your hubby and ur marriage, pls discuss ds wit ur pastor after that he will advise you on what to do, Please u really need to avoied ur mother dont let her still ur happiness and joy from you, ur hubby is all you have, Remember the Bible says we should treat others as we want others to treat us, Just go ahead tell me, for the sake of your honsty God will stand by you and all will be well. Goodluck.

Anonymous said...

Well, i think you have your mothers heart, still cheating on him while he was there for you. Are you sure you are not still flirting or you think he had heard of you and your mother's past, for that reason you want to tell him. Do you think that the best way to hook him is by giving him a baby.
Well, my cousin had a gal friend that had a daughter @ 17, immediately the gal noticed that their relationship is getting very serious, she told my cousin that its good he know her past b4 he hears it from somebody else. Today they are happily married and living in US with that her first daughter.

For your case, 12 years is very long time for you to tell your partner that bitter truth of your life. Well, tell him and take whatever you see b'cos you deserves it.

ekele onuoha said...

Its better to tell him and expect the maximum consequence of being a single mother.

Ogechi said...

I can already see the movie on DVD staring patience ozorkwo as the mother, tonto dikeh as d daughter, jim iyke as the husband, Pete edochie as one of the men who kicked ur mother out.......directed by Charles novia, marketed and distributed by......51 iweka rd onitsha......grab your copy NOW!!!!!!!!!! Lol

BLOGLORD said...

Anonymous 3.09pm, that is ehnnn!!!!.... i can imagine how the daughter would feel knowing that her own blood (mother and grandma) put her in an orphanage home. like they are ashamed of her. that part is really dis-heartning. God knows i can never do that to my own child no matter the circumstance.
anyway the did is done. babes, please let ur hubby know of ur daughter and go and reclaim ur daughter. Of course he would be angry, do not expect him to smile and pat u in the back saying 'its ok baby', give him time to heal...even ur daughter but hers won't be as bad as ur hubby's. the time is now. tick tick says the clock, what u have to do, do quick. the earlier the better.

Ur mother has such a negative influence on ur life. her ways are terrible, sorry to say. a typical woman who runs after material things at the detriment of family bond n love. She has destroyed her life now she wants to destroy urs. sad!

Anonymous said...

Very sensible comment.God bles u..

Anonymous said...

Tell him. Rada he hears it 4m you dan find out later.
Sheila

Anonymous said...

all you need to do is pray to God about it

Unknown said...

Forget all these plenty advise, that man don dey look for excuse to run, don't give him the reason. Enjoy d marriage as long as u can, save enough money in case d shit hit d fan or come down to naija , beef up yourself (so many babalawo out there) carry afose go talk to am

Anonymous said...

God Forgive your mother, ur family is so complicated menh. Thank God for mine.

nella said...

This essay lacks organisation and mechanical accuracy... not to mention the grammatical blunders and poor use of punctuation marks!

Unknown said...

Enjoy d marriage while it last, save up Enough in case he finds out, make it right with ur daughter. many women only finds out of their husband's escapades after his death

Anonymous said...

I seriously don't understand that part about her mum! It's so confusing.......

Anonymous said...

THIS IS A PERFECT NOLLYWOOD STORY. *YAWNS*

Anonymous said...

Zinnia:

There is more to these acts than the ordinary eyes can see.

kourt said...

Geez.....am i reading a boring book or someone's true life story?for some funny reason i feel the story is either a lie or very much embellished...so i find it hard to give an advice.Goodluck in whatever decision you end up with.

Anonymous said...

well done for not aborting the child in the first place .
tell your husband the whole truth,the truth is always better than lies. whatever is the outcome , you have to accept it , all you know is that u have cleared your conscience and its left for him to forgive or not forgive you .
Be right with God Dear, you need his grace now more than ever.
Make efforts to rebuild a relationship with your daughter as her mum , gently please, dont force yourself on her, give her time to adjust to you as her mother , you also have to tell her the whole truth to enable you start on a clean slate

Anonymous said...

life is about choices..the question is can you live with the choice you make? you need to pray and think about the girl you've deprived motherly love and also the man that married you even after you cheated on him...he's God sent...how many men marry girls shortly after they cheat on them...the answer is hardly...so think carefully and do the right thing. as for your mother she strongly believes you are just like her and wants the best for you even though you cant see it. most mothers have done worse so yours isn't any different. mothers are the guardian angels you can see. don't be too quick to judge cause you never know the amount of disaster she sees coming...what she can see sitting down even if you climb a tree you wont see it.

Anonymous said...

Gosh! b4 now i didn't believe things like this could actually happen, i use to think they were all fairy tales, hearing u mention PH, Lag nd UK makes me feel like am dreaming. God, what kind of world are we living in? look, my advice to u is that, it doesn't matter if u loose ur husband, u just 've to set things straight up right now, tell ur husband the truth while u can and don't make the mistake of listening to ur mother again. For God's sake, u re too matured to be making dis kind of mistake in ttis 211st century. i am short of words.

Anonymous said...

There is one simple question you have to answer yourself! If the shoe was to be on the other foot how would you feel?
He who comes to equity must come with clean hands!
This is not a matter of prayers, all you need is courage, honesty and the faith that this guy does actually loves you and that you also love this guy unconditionally. Don't forget that honesty and trust is the greatest foundation of any relationship.

Anonymous said...

Hi,i think its very clear to you that your mum wants you to live the kind of life she lived.the truth is better said than lies which will catch up on you later.if you truly love your husband and kids then tell him the truth and i believe if he really loves you and care about you,he will forgive you.put it in prayer to God first by asking him to forgive you and that He should take control of your husband then go to him and tell him all the things you have been hiding for 12yrs.God will see you through.it is well!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

This is like the story of a star? Many years ago, the media said she had a kid and later she gave the impression that she was childless. E get as e bi o.

It is too late to tell him unless you carry him to church and ask a pastor to beg him on your behalf. The church would preach forgiveness etc. To just tell him could lead to the end of your marriage.

You took him for a long ride. His family may be the ones to bundle you out of his house like a fool.

Many women have done it and were out at last. I have also seen women who hide such kids from their in-laws with the consent of their husbands in order to get married.

Anonymous said...

I don't have an advise for you 'cos I've never been in your shoes or even imagined anything of the sort. I can't even judge you. All I want to say is I feel deeply sad for you. May God guide you in whatever decision you make.

Anonymous said...

U have to tell him but b4 u do that pray and seek counsel from ur Pastor and the Holy Spirit will guard U.

Nigeria Jobs said...

This is really complicated but I still think you should talk toy your husband about it, if he had loved even when you cheated then i don't think he will stop loving you now that you have a lovely baby that he adorns and by God's grace your family will stand firm.

Shalom.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like Super story. And very disjointed

Anonymous said...

Sounds like Super story. And very disjointed

Anonymous said...

my mum always says , d truth will hurt for a short time. but lies will hurt a loooonnnng time. allow him his anger time when u tell him. but surely he'l respect u for d truth. who knows ur mum may hav another plan .then ther'll b no excuse for not tellin. all will b well eventually

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