Dear LIB readers: Should I give my baby up for adoption? | Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog

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Monday, 18 June 2012

Dear LIB readers: Should I give my baby up for adoption?

From a LIB reader:
My parents are Nigerians, so  I am a Nigerian by nationality. However, I was born and grew up in the United States. I am presently in Australia though, because I school here. I have a very big problem and I need advice, but I will try to make is as short as possible. I have a boyfriend and we have been together since my high school. I am a christian and I don't believe in premarital sex. Also my parents are pastors. I had kept to this rule for the 20 years of my life. Unfortunately, sometime earlier this year, some unforeseen things happened and my boyfriend and I slept together.
My parents always use me as an example to our family friends and they always talk about how they are so proud of the fact that I am keeping myself for marriage. Anyways, the unfortunate thing wasn't just that we had sex, but I also got pregnant. Abortion is not an option for me because I am strongly against it, but my friend here has a suggestion for me. She says I should keep the baby, give birth to it and take it to an orphanage home here in Australia before I go back home. This sounds like a perfect plan because I don't plan on going home anytime soon. So by the time I go home, nobody will know what happened. Do you think I should do what she advises and go back home pretending like nothing happened? Or should I tell my parents and carry the baby back home? Facing the embarrassment, ridicule and scorn from family friends, church members and people who look up to my parents?

On the other hand, my boyfriend thinks I should keep the baby but that whatever happens, I shouldn't say he is responsible. Please advise me because I am seriously considering dropping the baby in the orphanage.
Thank you so much. Please publish this, I really want to have the opinion of a lot of people .

211 comments:

1 – 200 of 211   Newer›   Newest»
Lilspicer said...

No even tryam is a special gift from GOD ur boyfriend na him help u carry am for nine months..mtchew(omo-iwo)says so...via his newly acquire blackberrybold:5 not second hand ooo

Anonymous said...

My advice to you is to take the baby home. For more follow Sarah Pastor T D Jakes daughter on Twitter. She will counsel you wella!
http://personalstuvs.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

I believe you should inform your parents of your circumstance and also let them know the option you are considering? If you boyfriend is telling you not to blame it on him then know he would not be there for you and the baby so at the end of the day you would have to look up to your God and your parents.

Be strong!God has a reason for everything

Anonymous said...

D guy is indirectly denying it. Best u let ur parents know n face d wrath sooner than later.

Anonymous said...

Whatever you decide to do, dump the boyfriend first.

Dr. Pinch said...

Well, welcome to the world of fun my dear. What ever has an advantage also attached to it is a big disadvantage.There is nothing like a child don't abort, don't give him/ her up for adoption. Forget the shame cos we all make mistakes and believe me your parents won't kill u they will be disappointed but that will be for a while. That baby might turn out to be a big blessing to you tomorrow you never can tell.

Nedu20 said...

my dear i feel ur pain...

It's unfortunate but a blessing too...
Keep the baby and take ur baby home if u can care for him or her...

Embarrasment? Talks??? All these are bulshit... And 1 thing is, the baby is bigger than all these things... It's just a matter of time, how u can endure this small time or make a decision that will hurt u tomorrow, or d one u'll regret all ur life... This is life for u and u have to start living it...

Just imagine ur parents telling u they gave u up for adoption because of the embarrasment u'd have brought to them... For me i'd look u in ur eyes and tell u i wish u died wen giving birth to me... The joy of a mother is what she went through while bringing up her baby(babies)...

Take care

EMEKA said...

MY DEAR MY HUMBLE ADVICE, IS DONT GIVE UP A GIFT AS CHILD TO ON KNOWN PEOPLE TO TAKE CARE, IN YOUR FATHER CHURCH PPL LINE UP PRAYING FOR A CHILD FOR YEARS MAYBE. GOD GAVE U ONE, YOU SHOULD TELL YOUR PARENTS AND TAKE PROPER CARE OF THE BABY. THE SHAME YOU AVOID TODAY WILL SURE HUNT U DOWN TOMORROW IN MORE EMBARRASSING WAY BOTH TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY AND CHURCH MEMBERS UR CONSIDER Y, IN FACT CONSIDERING YOUR STATUS IS SELFISH, BELIV ME SELFISHNESS LEAD TO MANY SINS, THAT BABY IS PRICE YOU PAY FOR CARELESSNESS, IF YOU DONT DEAL WITH IT RIGHTLY NOW, YOU WILL UNHAPPY FELLOW FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. SEEK COUNSEL TELL YOUR MUM FIRST SHE WILL ADVICE YOU BETTER, BUT RULE AGAINST GIVEN UP FOR OPHERNAGE EVEN IF YOUR MUM OR PARENTS ASK YOU TO DO IT FOR THE FACE OF CHURCH MEMBERS OR THINGS LIKE. BE WISE IS CROSS CARRY IT ALONE YOU HAVE A BETTER LIFE AHEAD.

Anonymous said...

Dis is a serious case, but be dat as it may, nobody is above temptation, its what state of mind u r in dat determines whether u fall into it or not. You have fallen into it,so d 1st thing to do is for u to go to God in prayer and ask for forgiveness,den pls tell ur parents oh. this is very important. As u say they r Pastors, they should know d place of forgiveness n forgive u den bring ur child home for dem to help u nurse. Dat child is in ur life for a purpose. If u abandon dat child for someone else to adopt, u will regret it your entire life. Regardless of watever, kip ur child in ur family. N pls dat ur boyfriend is a MEGA COWARD. Dump him for good n pray for someone dat is not an agent of d devil (becos he was one) dat wil not try to thwart God's plan for ur life agn. May d Lord help u to make d right decisions in Jesus name. NB. pray b4 u break d news to ur parents

our decisions dont count said...

My grandpa was a millitary judge and he died as a governor,my mom had me at 15,my aunt got her out of the abortion room,she had me *I can't tell the story in full because people might know me* but fast forward 18yrs later my granny's raised me,I knew they were my birth parents all my life.today I am grown in my ealiest 20's making a name for myself,trying to find my place in the world,find who I really am myself,people call me a liar for fucken stupidness yes I am a liar bcuz my whole life is been a lie because of greed,my relationship with my mom is sister type,now how does this relate to you.

My dear,its your life,your decision no1 on this blog can make that decision for you ever,I will tell u if I was in your place,I will have my baby and keep my baby because u never know tomorrow,what joy that kid will bring to u tomorrow,what people will say,should not matter ever,what people will say has. Killed so many babies,so many dreams,so much I can go on and on but your mom. And dad should not act perfect because they are pastors,prior to being pastors they fucked,pastors lie,cheat have secrets so do those neighbours so do I and the whole world has done something bad but a baby is never a bad thing.Let it be ur decision mami

Dr. Pinch said...

Welcome to the world of fun that's what you get lol

Dr. Pinch said...

Welcome to the world of fun that's what you get lol

jenny-coco said...

1.girlfriend, abortion is not an option at all, u cud lose ur life in d process so dont heed to ur friends advice.
2. i strongly think u shud tell ur parents, the worst that cud happen is that ur dad would despise u for a while, but with time, he would eventually forgive, ur mom wud understand and give u all d support and love u need during this period. so please tell them.
3. if u eventuall tell ur parents, then there is no need to give the baby up for adoption, if u doo, trust me u will forever regret it.
4. dump that shit ass boy friend of urs, if he is saying u shudnt mentiion to ur parents that he is responsible, then he is that wicked and heartless, get rid of him and move on with ur life..but make sure he contributes to the upkeep of that baby, dats all.

goodluck dear. it is well

Anonymous said...

A baby is a gift frm God. Your parents may get mad but they will definitely get over it with time. Plz, plz, and plz again.... Let ur parents knw.... Get registered for antenatal, take care of ur baby n u, pray to Gos n it will b alright in d end!!!

Anonymous said...

please keep ur baby or u might forever regret u gave him up. also we all make mistakes, and u have made urs and the way u handle it makes u a beta person. evan if ur parent are angry wit u, i bet u they will leta 4give u. u even reside in a gd environment that allows u to train ur child.another issues is dat even ur boyfriend wants to c how u will handle dis situation if you give d baby up he will neva 4give you and will even leave u 4 good. so i will advice you to call him and have an heartfelt discussion with him on how both of u will come together and raise the kid, and if he is nt interested pls laeve him and move on wit ur life so u can take care or ur baby.

EMEKA said...

MY DEAR MY HUMBLE ADVICE, IS DONT GIVE UP A GIFT AS CHILD TO ON KNOWN PEOPLE TO TAKE CARE, IN YOUR FATHER CHURCH PPL LINE UP PRAYING FOR A CHILD FOR YEARS MAYBE. GOD GAVE U ONE, YOU SHOULD TELL YOUR PARENTS AND TAKE PROPER CARE OF THE BABY. THE SHAME YOU AVOID TODAY WILL SURE HUNT U DOWN TOMORROW IN MORE EMBARRASSING WAY BOTH TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY AND CHURCH MEMBERS UR CONSIDER Y, IN FACT CONSIDERING YOUR STATUS IS SELFISH, BELIV ME SELFISHNESS LEAD TO MANY SINS, THAT BABY IS PRICE YOU PAY FOR CARELESSNESS, IF YOU DONT DEAL WITH IT RIGHTLY NOW, YOU WILL UNHAPPY FELLOW FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. SEEK COUNSEL TELL YOUR MUM FIRST SHE WILL ADVICE YOU BETTER, BUT RULE AGAINST GIVEN UP FOR OPHERNAGE EVEN IF YOUR MUM OR PARENTS ASK YOU TO DO IT FOR THE FACE OF CHURCH MEMBERS OR THINGS LIKE. BE WISE IS CROSS CARRY IT ALONE YOU HAVE A BETTER LIFE AHEAD.

Abhulimen Oseghale said...

Hi, look i read the story and it sounds like every other one. look getting pregnant is no bog deal, yes i agree it wasn't planned but you gotta accept it, the father should stand by you know matter what, you guys can make great parents. its your seed, give it life and love it. forget what people say or think. Am serious. don't do something you will think and regret for the rest of life.

Anonymous said...

gone thru ur article, well i fink u shud let ur family know bout ur baby, or bout u being pregnant. u dont have to go home tho, if u thinking bout the embarassment. damn d consequences n tell ur parents, dey'll never disown u, but they surely b angry n dissapointed. people will def talk bout it, dat is very normal.
finally DONT GIVE UP UR BABY FOR ADOPTION...... u r not d first single mom n u wont b d last. n trust me u dont wanna regret ur actions in future.

Anonymous said...

Dis is a serious case, but be dat as it may, nobody is above temptation, its what state of mind u r in dat determines whether u fall into it or not. You have fallen into it,so d 1st thing to do is for u to go to God in prayer and ask for forgiveness,den pls tell ur parents oh. this is very important. As u say they r Pastors, they should know d place of forgiveness n forgive u den bring ur child home for dem to help u nurse. Dat child is in ur life for a purpose. If u abandon dat child for someone else to adopt, u will regret it your entire life. Regardless of watever, kip ur child in ur family. N pls dat ur boyfriend is a MEGA COWARD. Dump him for good n pray for someone dat is not an agent of d devil (becos he was one) dat wil not try to thwart God's plan for ur life agn. May d Lord help u to make d right decisions in Jesus name. NB. pray b4 u break d news to ur parents

Anonymous said...

You have to ask yourself a very important question; Why don't you want the baby? Is it because of what people will say or is it because it will disrupt your study/plans. If its because of what people will say, f***k them cos they will surely talk. This is a decision only you can make because you have to live with the consequences. Giving your baby up is the easy way out and I understand why you might want that option and really I can't judge you for that especially if you can't provide and take care of the baby. But if you want to keep your baby, it is hard work and you have to let your parent know so that they can support you. It will be difficult, you might even be out of school for a while but believe me you will never ever regret keeping your baby.

joy ojay said...

Hmmmmm, this comment e no eazy o.
Assuming you are here in Nigeria, I would have advised you to keep the baby, But you know the way of life over there is so different.

Again, the boy does not want you to mention his name, so what will you tell the baby in future?
Right now your parents are not there with you but they are still your parents so let them know what is happening , even if you are going to give the baby up, these are Nigerian parents.Inform them before you start any process. they will not expose you 'cos you are theirs.

For the boy, have nothing to do with him any longer. He never loved you. Do not go through this all alone, inform your parents OK.

Anonymous said...

Dis is a serious case, but be dat as it may, nobody is above temptation, its what state of mind u r in dat determines whether u fall into it or not. You have fallen into it,so d 1st thing to do is for u to go to God in prayer and ask for forgiveness,den pls tell ur parents oh. this is very important. As u say they r Pastors, they should know d place of forgiveness n forgive u den bring ur child home for dem to help u nurse. Dat child is in ur life for a purpose. If u abandon dat child for someone else to adopt, u will regret it your entire life. Regardless of watever, kip ur child in ur family. N pls dat ur boyfriend is a MEGA COWARD. Dump him for good n pray for someone dat is not an agent of d devil (becos he was one) dat wil not try to thwart God's plan for ur life agn. May d Lord help u to make d right decisions in Jesus name. NB. pray b4 u break d news to ur parents

Anonymous said...

You are more concerned with what people will say and what they think of you and your parents? than the motherly love and care your child needs and what she would think of you when she grows???? Go out there and see women that would do anything to just have their own child!
My dear, u won't be the first neither the last. Mistakes happens, but if u manage it well, the same people that rejects u will someday not do without you!
Look at Genevieve Nnaji's story and learn. The same thing happened to her in her teens but today she is a world's star and she said the best decision she made was not to give away her child (through abortion or adoption) and her girl is the best thing that has ever happened to her..you see!
if you give up your child for adoption, think of the kind of foster parents that may end up adopting her from the orphanage home, who knows if the foster father may be a pervert or something that may be abusing her sexually when she grows up ( if a boy, maybe introduce him to hustling, drugs and all that). Babe think twice. keep your baby, God will give you the grace to takia of her and when you return with your little child at the right time, look into your parents eyes and tell them "the sex i had was a mistake, but this little golden child i have here with me is not a mistake! You can either accept us or reject us, the choice is yours". No parents in their right senses would reject you and your baby.
From a concerned heart full of love for children.
Linda better post my comment cuz u never do! Don't let me take it personal with you this serious Monday morning!

MAXIMUS™ said...

Between "shouldn't say he is responsible" and "dropping the baby in the orphanage"...YOU LOST ME! For starters, your bf's statement should be all the writings you need on a wall, boldly saying 'I love you, but I don't love you that much'.

Second of, dropping a baby? You don't drop a baby like it's some piece of unwanted furniture!

Lastly, giving your baby away to the orphanage isn't 'A GAME PLAN'. It's not a joke!

Go HOME to your parents little girl before you do some irreparable damage to your life

Anonymous said...

Abeg linda this ur "FROM AN LIB READER" stories are becoming boring jo.what advice will they get here that will help their life? If u don't have gist tell us about Kim kardashian instead.if u like dnt. Post my comment.

Anonymous said...

I think you should keep the baby and tell your parents trust me you won't regret it.

Anonymous said...

Dear pls keep the baby and bear the enbarassment NOW. U don't want to have to go thru d future karma. Its a b*t*h

Anonymous said...

U r a christian, u hv committed fornication which is a sin, abortion a sin,hypocrisy a sin. To make urself clear n pure again, beg God 4 mercy, ask d fortitude 2 face ur parents, come out clean 2 them... U will b far beta, dnt hide this plsssss, trust me....

Anonymous said...

Keep the baby, ur not d first this would happen to n ur won't be the last.. Keep the Baby, so far there's enuf money to take care of it

JULES said...

sister u did d right thing by ruling out abortion. However u seem to want to give d child up for adoption bcos u're scared of wat ur parent's reaction will be. trust me dearie, one day ur parents will find out d truth so y not face dem now. U are not d first person to experience this and this will also teach ur parents a lesson dat which is -only speak for urself, u cant speak for another person. Even d bible says he dat thinks he stands, let him take heed less he falls. As a christian, remember dat God is always with u.

julie says so
inside range rover evoque

Gkay said...

Your parent know best. let them know. Any decision you make will be based on your emotion and feeling and advice from your friends will be based on their limited experience. i think you should let you parent know, tell them u are sorry for disappointing them and tell them you consider giving the baby up for adoption. whatevr u say, let them know. they might get angry, shout, but they are in the best position to help guide you so you will not make a decision you will regret for the rest of your life.
People will have an opinion of u, u cannot change that, every1 has an opinion, it is only what you and your creator thinks that matters most. Just learn and pray to do the right thing from now on. Move forward..

Anonymous said...

Keep the baby as you don't know what that child will be tomorrow. What if this is your only opportunity to be a mother. And you need to check your bf becuase if he is trying to hide instead of saying he wants to take full responsiblity then he is definitely not a good person to be with. He is irresponsible, short and simple. Just keep the baby. People will talk, but not for long. If you trin the child well, he/she will be a great asset to you in future.

Anonymous said...

Waoh that boyfriend of yours is real scum. hope you are not still sleeping with him this one that ur still calling him boyfriend. Dull girl whatever happened to protecting yourself anyway the deed is done. i wish you could have the baby and give him or her to me to love and care for...

Anonymous said...

keep the baby my dear

Anonymous said...

I think you shouldnt abort it nor give the baby up for adoption. If you are feeling guilty, please go to God and ask for forgiveness for the sin and He sure will give you strength to go through every stage of the pregnancy and deliver safely, but do not give the baby up because someday in the future you will always regret it. As for your parents, if truly they are christians, hard as it may seem they will forgive you eventually, we all make mistakes but the most important thing is forgiving yourself too. Also dont have the mindset of "the baby is unwanted or unplanned" then you might not give the child the love he/she needs.

Anonymous said...

its easier said than done but sweetheart keep your child. the scorn of the world lasts but for a moment and then they move on to something else. your parents will be mad but in time will love any child that you have. thats why they are your parents. Don't underestimate their love for you. i honestly think you will be grateful for your child in your arms years from now instead of wondering where your first child is, what s/he is doing and if s/he is even okay. A friend of mine went through the very exact with strict christian pastors to boot. it was rough but everyday she says the joy she feels about her child more than compensates. Courage is doing the difficult thing especially in the presence of fear.

Anonymous said...

First you should be breaking with that guy he does not deserve you he is an arse am do mad nonsense. Well if you will be taking the child home then you should tell the truth about who is responsible. To give the baby for adoption make sure the baby is with a family you approve of. The choice is yours pray and the answer will come. I would employ you think what Is best for the baby can you provide give it a good life? Just becos you give the baby up does not mean you can't still tell your parents if you are close. I admire your courage

Anonymous said...

What is Your Parents are nigerian, I am a Nigerian by nationality blahh blahh? Who cares?

You caused this on yourself.
With all the praises your parents showered on you, I guess it should be ringing like a bell in your head everytime you are tempted.

BUT WHO AM I TO JUDGE YOU. WHO NEVER SINNED SHOULD CAST THE FIRST STONE.

I believe you should tell your parents and take the baby home. AND do tell them that is your boyfriend that is responsible. what is that nonsense of not telling your parents who is reponsible all about? they'll think you are sleeping around & that'll make it worse. He is trying to be the perfect guy & you the stupid girl. You are both at fault here.
even if you have to give the child for adoption, do it America where you are born and can probably see the baby in future. Put your shame aside & do something good with your life when you go back home.

ASK GOD TO FORGIVE YOU, ASK YOUR PARENTS TO FORGIVE YOU, AND ASK GOD TO LEAD YOU TO THE NEXT STEP OF YOUR LIFE. Stay blessed.

Anonymous said...

I guess the right thing to do is to tell your parent and they will decide on what to do next with you and your baby.
Just pray to God to give you the right directions on how you have to deal with such issue.
And remember next time you have sex, just use condoms.

devour said...

if you give d baby up after birth,how do you 4get him/her ? tell ur parents the truth n keep ur baby.how do pple go tru life afta abortion or giving up der baby witout goin crazy ?

Mayowa said...

Hello dear.

I am also a young lady in my early 20's, Christian trying to preserve myself for marriage but a few years ago i almost lost my virginity. The truth is it isn't easy at all. I believe you are a good lady, well brought up and you have a good heart... you only made a mistake. My advise to you is keep that child. Your parents and the whole society will lash out and ridicule you but in the end, you will be better for it. You will be strong for keeping that child, more responsible and a better Christian.

Remember that a child is a gift from God no matter the circumstances surrounding the birth of the child. Many women would cut off their arms just to have a child.

I believe God knows your strengths and weakness and if you ask for for forgiveness He will do so.

Talk to God, repair your relationship with Him, take responsibility for your mistake, keep your child, talk to your parents asap... and i believe God will see you through the rough times ahead.

Keep that baby no matter what! Trying to cover up your sin is a greater SIN in itself.

I pray God will be with you. I don't know you but my heart goes out to you. (i could have been the one in this situation).

Anonymous said...

Adoption is the way forward in this situation. That ur bf needs a red card ASAP. He said u should have the baby but shouldn't mention that he is the father. The hell? Girl,keep the pregnancy and give it up for adoption. God be with you.

Anonymous said...

so i really don't want to comment about the baby...because it is a thing of the conscience. you are going to live with whatever decision you make for the rest of your life so you don't want to decide based on what everybody and their mamas have to say.

what i will say though is that your boyfriend seems very irresponsible and does not seem to love you like you think he does-- because if he did, he would have been willing to go through ALL of this with you and not just be a passive observer lurking somewhere in the shadows, only chipping to give advice that he is not even man enough to handle.

Ify said...

Being that u are a Christian, then i'l suggest you take your grief to him in prayers & allow the holyspirit minster to you the best possible solution cos he alone can do that. Also, I believe you should mention your dilemma to your parents in detail & also sad or not will guide you accordingly.

There's nothing any1 can say to you right now rather than to make peace with yourself & seek your parental guidance irrespective of what the case may be. Until then, God bless u!

Abdul Kareem Abiola said...

The deed has already been done and there is nothing u can do about it.my advice to you is to keep the baby. u should have considered the consequences before u engaged in it.as for the disgrace and ridicule e.t.c.it will fade with tym. u r not in dis world to live up to other people's expectation. May God guide u through the challenges and make u overcome them

Anonymous said...

Just face the people back home. As it will only last for a while, they will sooner get over it than you getting over knowing you have a kid out there who will never know who it's parents are. God will see you through.

Anonymous said...

Come on take d baby home jor u dey yoke with ur 1st blood abi? If u abandon dat baby,dat baby no go forgive u ooo

Anonymous said...

trust me.....nobody truly cares about your business as much as you think. keep the baby and enjoy the thrill of motheerhood. better a week's gossip about you than a life filled with regret after you must have abadoned your baby.do the right thing now and leave a life that is true and free of regret. keep your baby....a saint is a sinner who fell down and got up....u will not be judged forever if u keep it, but your consience will judge you forever if you dont.it may not be an easy ride in the beginning, but in the end....u'l triumph. all the best

Anonymous said...

pls dont drop the baby bcos u dont knw wat he or she might become. just tell ur parents abt it no one is above mistake. it has already happened there's nuffin they can do abt it.

Anonymous said...

Wow, i feel bad for u, and terrible for ur folks. This is coming from someone who's still a virgin and plans to stay one till she gets married. First of all , i'll put u in my prayers because you need it. Now to my advice. I'll advice you have the baby and keep it. Children are gifts from God, and as long as you and ur family can fend for the child, then it will be a sin, for u to abandon the baby because u want to save ur parents from being scorned. You also have ur life to live. Havent u read and seen people who did this (give out their babies) and later in life regret it for different reasons? Ask God to forgive u and with time your parents will also forgive you. You're not the first that this is happening to and will not be the last. Your parents will rather have a living child that has a child than a dead child. pleas keep the baby and God will surprise you.
Your child is a gift from God,dont give him/her away.
It is well with you.

Adeyinka.

Anonymous said...

Ok, 1st of all darling... U do not refer to a baby as "it" its so wrong. 2ndly, u don't want 2 give up ur baby bcs u'l regret it 4 d rest of ur life. It has already happened. I'l advise u to keep ur beauitiful baby. Call ur mom (I said mum cuz she's d only 1 dat'l understand u nd cuz I believe mums r rational beings). I'm very glad u ruled out abortion. I hope u make the best decision dat'l benifit u and leave u without regreat.

Elokz said...

If dis is tru, your boyfriend is a bloody fool, n highly irresponsible! keep d baby n face d consequences, I bet u d world ll nt come to an end instead u ll bring into dis world a lovely baby

Anonymous said...

If you are a christian how can you even consider any of these options? Tell your parents the truth, have your baby and love him/her, life goes on. We live for Christ not for other people.

Anonymous said...

ehn you have already gotten advice, wetin you need again, boyfriend sef don deny you

Anonymous said...

keep your baby. a week of gossip and talk from family is way better than a life of regret.do the right thing.it wont be an easy road, but u'l get by.

deekay said...

Pls don't dump in orphanage instead carry the baby home. U might just change the backwards and holier than thou attitude of ur parents. No one is a saint. U made a mistake, yes, but the baby ain't no mistake. Don't choose an option which will leave u feeling guilty for ever. Oh AND DUMP THAT SORRY ASS MISTA FOR A BOYFRIEND. THISIS Y KIDS SHD NOT DATE!! THEY HAVE NO BUSINESS USING THE WORD LOVE. SINCE HIGH SCH MY NYASH. U BERRA CUT OFF THAT RELATIONSHIP.

Anonymous said...

i am also against abortions. its an unfortunate position you find your self in but children are a gift from God. you need to tell your mom first what happened and discuss with her your options, they might be very mad and upset at first but in time they will calm down and accept both you and the baby. its a common mistake young girls make. please do not beat your self up about it.

deekay said...

Mistake *

James said...

" I had kept to this rule for the 20 years of my life."

That means you're 20 years old at the moment. You can tell me you started being sexually active the day you were born. You thought you would stick to your values but when the slightest of temptations came, you had no self control. Nothing can be done about the past and you have brought disappointment to your parents.

That being said, I want to warn you that giving up your child for adoption after giving birth is no easy feat in any way. Statistically, out of the women who decide to do this before the birth of their child, only 12% give the baby up for adoption with the remaining 88% opting to do something else. It all depends on your Emotional quotient and the hormones (namely oxytocin) that cause bonding between you and your child. Good luck!
That being said

deekay said...

Virgins in long term relationships, una dey try ohh!!

Anonymous said...

My dear, the fact that your parents are pastors is the more reason why you should give birth to that child and take him/her home.
You made a mistake so what?? who doesn't?
Pastors make mistakes, sin against God and God still forgives us all our trespasses.
He without sins should cast the first stone.
http://babzeazi.blogspot.co.uk/

Kenny said...

Sorry about your predicament.You are not the first and would not be the last this is happening to. You would live to regret not keeping the baby,your parents would move on after sometime-it may be years, but they would move on. So please keep your baby(they are one of the MOST important gifts from God no matter how untimely they come.

Oyinkansola De Souza said...

serzly,people should stop insulting this babe...
Anyone can make mistakes.i think she should just keep the baby,tell her parents about it..they wouldnt bite after all the deed as bin done.and the guy that gave her belle isnt denying it...Abegiiii!!!!!kip am

Jem said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nedu20 said...

lin lin... U de use ma comment wash ur toilet???

Oyinkansola De Souza said...

kip the baiby pls...

Twaizee said...

Am a strong beleiver in God doing things in wonderful ways, No matter what, its a decision u will leave to regret, Givin d baby up for adoption or drop off in an orphanage, Tell me if that child is a Ben Carson or Myles Munroe of tomorrow, what will u do? God that gave you the child will give you the courage to withstand all the challenges the Pregnancy might pose.

Anonymous said...

Keep the baby and tell your parents the truth and the details of the father. Also mention to them how he said you should tell them that he is responsible in case if he attempts anything funny. You did premarital sex, so girl friend, face the music.

Dr. Pinch said...

Why is it that u don't post my comments? Pregnant lady welcome to the world of fun LOL. God will see u through. Your parents will be dissapointed but that will be for a while. Keep ur baby there is nothing like it, u can never tell what that child will be come tomorrow.In your next world stay a virgin cos something wey dey sweet dey kill oooo

Jem said...

I actually think you should keep the baby...All the yelling at,disgrace e.t.c will end very soon but the baby is your future.True,your parents speak very high of you,expect everything you do to be perfect.But hun,no one is perfect.U are already pregnant,What if u don't get the chance again?,What if this is a gift that would never come by again? U should keep the baby,all the disgrace will stop.And as for your boyfriend,he's a coward cause he's running away from his responsibility which he'll regret big time.It's for your own good to keep the unborn child.

man_eater said...

Dear poster,
If u can lay your hands on 'The Atonement Child' by Francine Rivers u'll get all d answers u need. Trust me

Anonymous said...

if you are sure the orphanage will provide good parents for your baby, then you can put the child up for adoption.. but i think you should discuss it with your mum first, no matter how hard it is, she needs to know. A lot of people are saying you should go home with the baby, bla bla. its easy for them to talk because they are not in your shoes. talk to your mum dear..

Anonymous said...

babe, u did the right thing by not aborting so continue. If u cld kip the baby why not be their for ur baby? forget people and their gossip and enjoy motherhood. As for ur guy, he is so childish, irresponsible and stupid, if he loves u he shd be able to stand by u in every situation.

Nedu20 said...

where ma 1st comment??? Not dis 2nd one... And na long note... I no get strenght to type it again... #sad

Anonymous said...

who is insulting the babe.. Abeg drop your comment and bounce!

Anonymous said...

Don’t give up ur baby for any reason pls, I’m a happy single mom, my only brother is a catholic priest , my uncle too & my dad a knight, I got pregnant & was very confused on what to do, my God father asked me a question? Which will I prefer, God smiling at me & saying well-done my child or people mocking me cos’ of my mistakes? I choose God smiling at me instead.
Today, I look back & there’s absolutely no words to express how grateful I’m that I kept my princess, she’s a bundle of Joy, it’ll amaze u how smart my 7yrs old is, she’s a blessing indeed. Though her dad doesn’t support me in her up keep but GOD in his own way provided for us, I’ve a good job, the love of my priest brother/family & wonderful friends. If I can make it, u can & u will, ur family might get upset but believe me, they’ll come around & give u all the support u need.
Pls be wise in ur decision, bear in mind God is watching u & he’ll never allow that which u can’t handle come ur way….Tonia

Anonymous said...

Don’t give up ur baby for any reason pls, I’m a happy single mom, my only brother is a catholic priest , my uncle too & my dad a knight, I got pregnant & was very confused on what to do, my God father asked me a question? Which will I prefer, God smiling at me & saying well-done my child or people mocking me cos’ of my mistakes? I choose God smiling at me instead.
Today, I look back & there’s absolutely no words to express how grateful I’m that I kept my princess, she’s a bundle of Joy, it’ll amaze u how smart my 7yrs old is, she’s a blessing indeed. Though her dad doesn’t support me in her up keep but GOD in his own way provided for us, I’ve a good job, the love of my priest brother/family & wonderful friends. If I can make it, u can & u will, ur family might get upset but believe me, they’ll come around & give u all the support u need.
Pls be wise in ur decision, bear in mind God is watching u & he’ll never allow that which u can’t handle come ur way….Tonia

Anonymous said...

The only thing I read on here is that you want to give up your baby because you want to keep up some false appearance of purity? I am not an overtly ‘religious’ person but who would you rather please? Your parents, society or God? If your parents love you as much as they should, they would understand that mistakes are made sometimes. Getting pregnant is not the end of the world. If you had said you wouldn’t be able to look after the kid after its born I would understand but giving it up just because of what people would think that’s a no no.

You sound like a pretty reasonable person (even if you made a poor choice of a boyfriend). Do you really think you would be able to live with the knowledge that you gave up your kid for adoption. That every time your parents praise you for keeping yourself you wouldn’t wince remembering your best kept secret? In the end its your choice anyway it’s your life but don’t live it for other people. Live for yourself. If you do decide to put up the child for adoption let it be because that’s what you want to do and not because you need to keep on impressing your parents.

Cloyd N.D.U said...

Plz plz plz don't abort the baby.
My mum wud gladly take both u and the baby in, especially d baby plz.

Anonymous said...

okay wait...pause it ryt der wat do u mean by unforseen things?like a tsunami or hurricane.u wanted to keep urself till marriage yet u had sex with protection n didn't even deem it fit to seek help aftawards to avoid getting pregnant.if u can keep the pregnancy to term,u can as well keep it n tell ur parents about it.but i need to knnow ow many tyms u had sex with ur boyfriend abi na once d tin turn to belle.

Anonymous said...

I can imagine your predicament

Uche said...

Some of dis opinion flatters,is it like most didnt read d girls msg b4 dey reply?....Well my words 4 u are;it hurts to see ur biological child when grown & assume him or her self to be an orphan...it's very clear that if dat child grows up to be a star,u wont devoid ur self creeping & crying only to make d child know u r d Mom,bt u must know d child will be so disappointed in you,so wot i tink u shuld do is;Accept d fact u are a big Disappointment/Regret & a mare to remenbr bcus u shuld have known u are an instrument of study 4 many,get rid of ur disgraceful boy friend,call ur mom or dad whom ever u thought will give u a beta listening ear,sincerely plea 4 d 4gvness b4 telling wot ur intension are...u shuldnt consider how hard or painful words u might get cause u deserve even more dan just that....Anyway,no body is all dat perfect,just like i know u r still learning!..Dis all i've got 4 u,thou am Disappointed in u cause u shuld have been more Wise having in Mind ur reputation...Regards Uche....meet me on facebk on''Nwofia Uche'' if u wish.

Uche said...

Some of dis opinion flatters,is it like most didnt read d girls msg b4 dey reply?....Well my words 4 u are;it hurts to see ur biological child when grown & assume him or her self to be an orphan...it's very clear that if dat child grows up to be a star,u wont devoid ur self creeping & crying only to make d child know u r d Mom,bt u must know d child will be so disappointed in you,so wot i tink u shuld do is;Accept d fact u are a big Disappointment/Regret & a mare to remenbr bcus u shuld have known u are an instrument of study 4 many,get rid of ur disgraceful boy friend,call ur mom or dad whom ever u thought will give u a beta listening ear,sincerely plea 4 d 4gvness b4 telling wot ur intension are...u shuldnt consider how hard or painful words u might get cause u deserve even more dan just that....Anyway,no body is all dat perfect,just like i know u r still learning!..Dis all i've got 4 u,thou am Disappointed in u cause u shuld have been more Wise having in Mind ur reputation...Regards Uche....meet me on facebk on''Nwofia Uche'' if u wish.

olatunji said...

my dear,u c der is no problem without a solution itz jst tat u need to compose urself and b strong.take ur baby to ur parent to avoid problems in future cus nobody can tell if u re gonna av anoda one or not.plz tink deeply b4 u take a move.i pray may almighty allah be wit u and deliver u safely(amen).god have reasons 4ur pregnancy ..

chi said...

please can i adopt him/her?

Anonymous said...

Why didn't you use protection? In this day & age... You grew in America so I assume you have been taught about the consequences of unprotected sex & now you are contemplating about dumping your child in an orphanage. Personally I can't give my child up for adoption...well except if is an open adoption( I could still keep intouch with the child from time to time)

Vick O said...

MAXIMUS Gbam!!! I die 4 ur comments mehn. You too dey make sense die...

Anonymous said...

Good thing happen to bad people and bad things happen to good people. but good people become bad when they try to hide the bad things that happen to them.

which is more important in christianity, what the people are saying or what God is saying? if God has forgiven you, who has the rights to withhold that against you?
"There is now therefore no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus" Christianity is not about people-worship but God-worship.
Do the right thing. 40, 50 or 60 years from now you will still remember this incident no matter what, the memories will never go away. but you have the option of deciding now if you'll smile or regret your actions each time you remember. God's love mercy is not based on your previous good works and thus cannot be stopped by one or many mistakes/sin.

Anonymous said...

i want to talk to you from the same christian upbringing you had... there is no difference between an abortion and denial. If you ever drop that cute innocent baby in an orphan home, then you are denying the baby as much as you deny the creator whom we read loves little babies alot. Do not make a mistake that will haunt you for the rest of your life. I will advise you to take the shame and rejection for the sake of this innocent child whom never forced you into your unwanted sexcapade with ur little livered bf. Talk to your parents and they will accept you just the way you are, you will be the one to reap these fruits when its all ripe in the nearest future

Ec said...

I know ul say ya'll easier said than done.but no one has the right to judge u.only God almighty.u never know what they too do behind closed doors.I jst found out dirty secrets abt my pastor n even people I look up to,this life is deeper than the surface.pipl I stood as sinners before them.this baby is a gift from God somday ul look at him/her and thank God deeply.thats all I hv to say.and I pray u tk heed.

Amarachi said...

You better keep the babay and dont give it out pls.where are you in Australai because i live in Sydney as well and lives in Mount Druitt,western surburb.I will like to see you if possible

Anonymous said...

The same thing that happened to you happened to me 7 years ago (I was also 20 at the time). I was in the UK so there was no way for my parents to find out. I won't bore you with the long details but fast forward to present day, I have a lovely daughter (who is the best thing I ever did). I'm married to her father now we waited 2 years after she was born just to be sure. The point is it might seem really bleak but God can turn things around for you. Your boyfriend may not be all that bad, he might be just as scared as you. Tell your mum, she will be disappointed but she will be compassionate. In a few years time you will look back and thank God, you choose to keep your baby. Good luck

Urerime said...

Honey! no! dont abort and dont give that child up, your parents anger will only be for a short time. sweetie if you give that baby up you will regret it for the rest of you life. no one is perfect. and your boyfriend is such a jerk for suggesting that you lie about him being responsible, so sad you lost your virginity an irresponsibly person like that. i pray God helps you.

Urerime said...

Honey! no! dont abort and dont give that child up, your parents anger will only be for a short time. sweetie if you give that baby up you will regret it for the rest of you life. no one is perfect. and your boyfriend is such a jerk for suggesting that you lie about him being responsible, so sad you lost your virginity an irresponsibly person like that. i pray God helps you.

sexiest said...

babes, 1st n foremost..enrol ur boyfriend in a zoo to live with monkeys..then call ur mumy n tell her everytin n wat u intend to do..am sure she will want u to bring ur black ass home, DO NOT give ur baby up for adoption, no try am at all..dont wori with time all will be well, by this time next year, u will be thankin linda n her commenters for the advice they gave u..pele..it is well....msg sent on top of obama's bed inside white haus..

Galore said...

Anon 12:41.....haaaa siddon dere.....U neva kno say person fit sleep wt Man once make she get belle........For the lady,,pls keep the baby,,u neva can tell if thats ur last.........Dont gv it out for adoption no matter what.......And for ur boyfriend,,he is not serious.....,he does not want to claim responsibility,,Why?...bcos she has hidden agenda........

Anonymous said...

I would advice that you tell your parents about this. Believe me, they will be angry but no one rejects a baby when he comes to life. The shame is for you to bear now but when the baby comes, they will accept him. If u decide to drop this child in an orphanage, you will live with guilt and what if u never have the chance of getting pregnant again.
Have your baby and keep him please. Time will heal all wounds. Remember, a lot of pple are looking for what u want to abandon.

Eniola said...

@beebabe.... na wa for you oo. After you don judge the girl finish, u kon dey ask "who am i to judge" SMH for you!

Anonymous said...

Shut up all you ignorant girls.. I think you should consider abortion but then the boyfriend of yours is a big fool.. via google chrome browser

Woman of Virtue said...

1.Dump d guy
2.Don't put up d baby 4 Adoption
3.Be prayerful
4.Don't tell ur parents until afta u av given birth(talking frm experience)dis is gonna reduce d humiliation + ur mum will be d happiest
5.Pray dat God shld redirect ur life if ua already on d wrong track.
6.Be happy, nobody holy pass jaree.May God forgive us all.buh make sure u dump d guy+pls strive hard abt ur studies.It is well wif u!

Anonymous said...

The truth is,your parents will be disappointed, they will shout and almost kill you..but your mother especially after a while will accept the child as her grandchild ..your dad will come to terms with it, time will heal the pains,wounds and disappointment.a good mother will not throw her child away,meaning your mum will always love you..

That child could be the ONLY one you were destined to have(I pray u have more when you get married) but you never know these things.children are blessings from God.

What you should concern yourself most with is atoning for your sins and begging God to take you back. People will forever talk,good or bad..

So my dear,have your baby..after about a year or 2 go back home and tell, your parents. Believe me when I say they will still love you.

That child will be a bundle of joy and blessings to you. As long as you can raise the child,PLEASE DO NOT GIVE IT AWAY..

I know a friend who Gave her baby out for adoption, kind of temporarily cos of the same fear of going back home. Her mum came to visit,she told her..her mum gave her all the shouting and everything you can think off. Before she left back home,she went to see her grandchild and even dropped money for her birthday that was coming up..

Time heals everything and every wound ..
God bless you..

Anonymous said...

it's beta to abort the baby, than to give it for adoption to cover up your hypocrisy.
PRES

chike said...

first of all, go on ur knees and sincerely ask God for forgiveness. U hv sinned by committing fornication. God wil forgiv u provided u ask wit sincerity.
Secondly, seek God's face here. R u a catholic? If yes...go befor the blessed sacrament...lie down thr and cry to God. He will speak to u and tel u wat best to do.
A child is a gift from GOD. Do not wori abt ur parents. Truth is, they wil b disappointed wit u for a while. Wen d child coms, i assure u dat u and d child wil b welcomed home.
As for ur boyfriend...sit him down..ask him his plans for u and d unborn child. If he aint ready to be responsible, pls put him behind and cari on ur life. U wil b fine without him.
U sure wil marry in future. Every woman has her husband...unles u dont want to.
Dont giv away ur child. U wil regret it for d rest of ur life.
Also, dont b deceived dat ur parents wont kw u put to bed. They wil. It wil show on u..physically and psychologically.

Anonymous said...

Please give the baby to me. Will gladly take it off your hands. Leave here in the US. I am sure there are a few of us who won't mind adopting the child.

Just let us know. I will check back in case you respond

Anonymous said...

Pls tell your parent about your pregnancy, and since you have realised your mistake, sincerely go before God and repent, God is a merciful and He will surely forgive you and restore your dignity back.

reisbee said...

to keep the baby or not is ur choice, think it over but dat guy u call a boyfriend........

Stacey said...

This is ultimately your decision to make cos you are going to live with it for the rest of your life.
But my 2 cents, call your parents. Tell them EVERYTHING, including your spineless boyfriend's part. They would shout, yell, cry, etc. But at the end of the day, they'll calm down and you all can figure out the best thing to do.

Good luck.

skibochi!! said...

Nigerians can adviiiiiccce!! ahhhn ann! see the long thread o!

Anonymous said...

My first advice is please dump ur boyfriend, he is obviously not a responsible person. Also if you wanna give the child up for adoption let it be for the right reasons and not because u dont wanna face the shame. if you honestly know you cant take car of the child now, then give it up otherwise, train up your child and God will see you through. I also think you should tell your parents. Their love for you isnt based on what you do right or wrong or at least it should not be, so please tell them. I wish u all the best. God bless.

tunmi said...

I take it that you did not use a condom. If so, I'd suggest getting a blood test to screen out STDs.

Second, I would have suggested you get an abortion since you cannot or won't be able to take care of the child. But since you do not want to do that, you MUST tell your parents.

You were brazen to have sex, you gotta be bold enough to tell your parents. And since you're having this baby (I can't tell if you are still pregnant or have already had it), I suggest visiting a ob/gyn and taking your prenatal medicines for the baby.

Tell your parents and take good care of the baby, while it's in your womb. With your parents and that spineless boyfriend of yours and yourself, you must talk to your parents. I cannot tell you what to do but if I'm going to go as far as carry a baby for 9 months, adjust my eating habits and undertake some sacrifice for 9 months for a baby, I would keep it. Fortunately, the US and Australia have options for single mothers.

Anonymous said...

Hahahahahaha , that got me laughing hard .. Soooo funny , na real Tsunami :))

Anyway , to the question .. Keep the baby , I was in a similar situation n I kept it , was it hard ?? A BIG YES ... The sleepless nights , crying baby ( mine was a crier) , sneers behind ur back ( she nor marry) , no support from the daddy , it was difficult ... How did I get thru it .. God , he has been there for me every step of the way , Blessings upon blessings , my life changed for the better , amazing career , support from my wonderful family , and my boy,an Amazing gorgeous child , things he comes up with cracks me up , just thinking about it , I can truly say I am blessed . Should I have sacrificed this beautiful bundle of joy to fit into the status quo ? All for what ppl will say ? I thank God for helping me with my decision making . You won't see it now , but a year down the line , you will be thank God every day .

Anonymous said...

Don't give d baby out for adoption bcos u won't see it again and it will hunt u forever. Don't tell ur parents, it will brake them down . Look for a good chritian, narrate ur story and pahaps, he will keep d baby till u r ready . Goodluck.

NUBIAN QUEEN™ said...

whats up with all these pikin going to school in Aussie...my cousin who also goes to school in Aussie had a baby and it was two years after the birth before we found out and it was by accident too...please inform your parents their undersanding may shock you...you don't want to be looking for your long lost child down under 20 years down the line

Anonymous said...

Dont worry ur parents won't do anything and will end up spoiling ur baby. They will be glad u didnt kill him and heap more coals of fore on ur head.
Many adopted children r like lost souls eap abroad where they can be placed with families of a totally diff skin color abd ethhnicity. Many dO not know where they are coming bc they dont know where they r coming from. Dont bring everlasting confusion to d future generations of obe of ur descendants

Anonymous said...

Dump that stupid boyfriend ASAP!!!
Which parent are you most close to? If its your mom, go talk to her and tell her everything and then she'll know what to tell your dad and how to calm him down.
Allow them to guide you on the next decision to take.

Anonymous said...

Ur problem is simple..HV UR BABY! I hv mine&she brings me joy,don't care abt what people say.

EBMBTB said...

Ah ah, Fatima, is that you?

cobinson said...

my dear, i'll be very frank with u. u av tasted it and it was sweet, be ready to bear d consequence albeit not alone but with your boyfriend.
children are special gifts from God, SO DONT EVEN THINK ABOUT ABORTION COS IF YOU EVER DO DAT, U'LL INVITE D WRATH OF GOD ALMIGHTY IN YOUR LIFE LIKE HELL. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

FACE THE SHAME AND ALL D OTHER PERSECUTIONS IT WILL BRING YOU;IN LATER YEARS, YOU'LL BE PROUD TO SHOW D WORLD THAT YOU ARE D BABY'S MOTHER.

THAT SIDE IS UNLIKE HERE SO D ARRANT NONSENSE YOUR BOYFRIEND IS VOMITING IS HORSESHIT. JUST GO AND REPORT HIM TO D APPROPRIATE AUTHORITIES AND LET'S SEE IF HE'LL BE MADE TO OWN-UP OR NOT. STUPID BOY.

Dee dee said...

Whatever the pressures that drive us to make certain decisions, after all is said and done we have to live with the consequences of our actions. Is it worth giving up your child so that people don't talk? What if that's the only baby you'll ever conceive? What if your parents had given you up for adoption for one reason or another?

When my friend ( in her thirties) got pregnant by her boyfriend her mum (very troublesome and manipulative woman) cursed and called her every whore descriptor under the sun. All her family told her to abort the baby...why? Because they didn't like her boyfriend (waste of space to be honest). But she ignored them all and had the baby boy, and guess what, her entire family love that boy to death. From the day mother and son were released from hospital the baby sleeps with his grandma until he needs to be breastfed by his mum. I know you must be scared but don't let what people think make u unhappy for the rest of your life...and find yourself a better man.

Grace said...

my advice is for you to keep it.
my Little sis had same challenge, my parents are so strict so after hiding for 5 months my family got to know. we encouraged ourselves and expecting the baby with great anticipation.
my mum is scared of the public ridicule and finance of training a child at this phase of their life, she wants to force the baby daddy to assume responsibilities but if he refuses we all gonna look to God to take control.

please do nuture the child and keep it and for your health register for antenatal when its time.
Goodluck.
am praying to get married fast cos i want to have my baby and hold him in my arms, look at his tiny eyes and adore him.

Anonymous said...

Lilspicer aka omo-iwo, you don kolo! You've started a trend on LIB. I look forward to reading comments ending with via...
*whiterose*

Anonymous said...

I advice you to take your baby home to your parents. Fine, if your boyfriend does not want to be mentioned, that will not be a problem. Your child is a gift from God. Forget the ridicule today, i promise you will laugh and enjoy it in future. I know your parents will feel let down by you but I am sure in no time they will adjust to it and will be thankful that you did not commit fornication and murder. You will be fine. Think of the life you will subject your child to at the orphanage. You may never be happy all your life if you give that child up. Please keep the pregnancy, have the child and go home with the child. That child might be the channel all your blessings will flow through. Be wise.

Anonymous said...

Linda, Linda, Linda, how many times have i called you? This is another cock and bull stories.... i pity those who cant differentiate wheat from chaff

Miss pepe said...

Pls keep ur child,a child is a gift from God..don't do what ull regret 20yrs from now.your parents can't and won't kill u (akin fi omo buruku pa fun ekun je).the lord is your strength

Anonymous said...

Abeg bring the baby come I know of a couple that have been married for ten years no pickin. Contact me sharp sharp.

Anonymous said...

My advice for you is to have that baby & NEVER give away your child.
It also happened to me too & considering my very strong religious family background, the thought of abortion strongly overwhelmed me in order to avoid the shame.
But God saw me through.
Whenever the thought of abortion came, I ran to God &he helped me
It was tough but God saw me through
He will see you through too
My baby is grown now & he's an amazingly caring young boy
PLEASE LET THIS CHILD LIVE & DONT DASH OUT YOUR FREE GIFT FROM GOD COS YOU ARE BLESSED.

Ingood Shape said...

please dear evry one has said the right thing, keep the baby, you will thank God u did keep him in the future, wot eva ridicule u may pass thru now is nothing compared to the guilt u will carry for the rest of your life if u give it away, plz keep it, its ur flesh and blood tnx... Blogbebe

ONYEDIKING said...

@Lilspicer ur a funny guy just keep it coming.....and for ur bulk sms go to www.lowprice247sms.com and ur will be able to send sms @LOW PRICE

Anonymous said...

Ode! BTW means By The Way.. Not between.. Between is btwn.. I don't see where 'between' fits in your comment Mr--S Maximus. Una too dey abuse abbreviation.

tosan O said...

I understand your major pain,the fact that your parents are gonna be dissapionted and they have boasted about you,my dear its already a baby,tell your mum 1st and she would find a way to tell daddy,its only gonna take few months of talk,maximum 3mnts and every one will take it as fate,trust me you will be glad you have the baby in few months from now,just be strong okay and dump that silly ass you call a boyfriend pls,you are 20 and you know who is responsible for your pregnancy...*smiles* good enough for you,I'm a also a mum and I'm a year older than you,I have a son who is 6yrs old,my dear you know what that means,take my bold step sweetie and that kid will give you a reason to smile. *wink*

Anonymous said...

Lwkmd oooo this lib wont kee mi

Anonymous said...

Lmao @ looking for unborn child down under lmkm

Anonymous said...

I strongly believe the only reason you should give a child up is if you don't think you be a good mom, or you don't think the child will be raised in a healthy environment. Shame lasts only a moment, the joy of raising a child lasts a lifetime.

#HeWhoHasEars,LetHimHear# said...

Mehn!!!!!!!! Pple can advice o...and d funny thing is dat most ladies here saying she shuld not abort dat its a gift from God has done 1 or 2 abortions b4..#una knw una self ooo#
My Dear my best advice for u is to keep ur baby, tell ur parents abt it and get married to ur BF #shikena#
Dnt listen to all dis pple saying u shuld drop ur BF. Will dey be d father of ur baby?????? Hmmmm single mother its not a joke ooo, to find anoda guy after havin d baby sef nah wahala, girls wey never born b4 sef never get BF not to talk of after 1.

Anonymous said...

I think you should share this news with one of your parents whom you are close to; the one that understands you better. I say this because ur boyfriend has indirectly denied ur pregnancy (I hope you have dumped his arse by now, he is not good for you). It is okay that you did not meet your parent's expectations of you. Sometimes we make that mistake. You missed one, forgive yourself. I'm sure your parents have another expectation from you(that you will come to them if you are in trouble). You have a chance to live up to this expectation. The idea of giving up the baby for adoption is good if you can't take care of the baby. The idea of giving it up and go home to LIE ur behind of to your parents indirectly is very wrong. Nothing hidden stays hidden forever. FYI your soon to be ex-boyfriend will tell, trust me.
Let it go that you have messed up and now all the people that look up to may not look up to; all the eyes that looked at you as a good girl may now be looking at you as a wayward girl. It is okay. Maybe you are not meant to be and live up to their expectations. God has a different direction he wants your life to go. You're still worthy. No go loose your more of your worth and values because of people's expectations.
Please be smart and talk to one of your parents(the one that understands you better).
Gudluck

Chy...

Anonymous said...

My dear,am sure its cz u've not had d child u fink its easy to giv ur child away,am sure by the time u go through labour pain nd come out d love 4 dt child will suppase odas. Keep the child tk it home. Ur parent will be disappointed u knw bt its 4 a wyl.

concerned said...

i think you should call your parents and they them, am sure its going to be a nerve wrecking experience, they might shout at you, curse or even decide to disown you, but know this keep ur faith in God and he'll show u a way out!also pray and begin to search for a source of income incase you decide to keep the child,children dont come cheap you'll need money to take care of you and the baby, sometimes we make mistakes......but to God they might just be mistakes but a way iof showing his glory, he'll make streams in d desert for you dear! even if you do decide to give you child up for adoption, its not a bad decision but ensure you can trace that child or the child can trace you in some years, becos no matter what that child will have a piece of your heart, also do a research about the best adoption agencies around that take good care of children and give them to good parents too, God be with you in this trying time.

Anonymous said...

sometimes i wonder y pple get to worked up abt wat pple say,the honest truth is this,there is nothing new under the sun.My cousin was in a worse situation.In her case,the father of her baby was married and dint want to av anything to do wit d baby+she was in nija(no escape route),to add insult to injury,my aunt and uncle held key posts in the church.It was tough, it was humiliating......but now dis child is d best tin d@ has happened to d@ family.Fine tongues would wag but eventually pple will get used to it.I see d glow in the eyes of my cousin wen she looks @ her child and blive me,u can't trade d@ for anything in d world.

Unknown said...

We all make mistakes. Even your parents have skeletons in cupboard. Please God, not ur parents. Your baby loves you, keep him. If u hide d truth, it has a funny way of showing up in d future. Thnx.

Anonymous said...

My dear girl,abortion is not an easy journey to embark on,my advc is u keep this lovely gift God has given 2 u,u dnt knw wht good dis child will bring u 2morw,and 4 all u knw ur parents will feel hurt embrased n all no doubt but ur their child n so will gain bk their luv n 4gvnes,4get bout wht pple will say n all dat crap,they wnt live ur life 4 u plus they n their children are no better than u,pls keep this child,it wnt b easy buh God will b wth u 4 doin d rit thing,I'm talking 4rm xprnce my dear frnd so I knw very well wht u goin thru,2day I am happy wth mine,so pls b wise.also, ur BF has given a gud reason not 2 trust him so u knw wht 2 do about him,if he was man enuf 2 sleep wth u n woman enuf 2 chicken out on u wen u need him then u knw he does not deserv u my dear,pls B WISE.

dScR?Be said...

GIRL! LISTEN!!! TAKE YOUR BABY HOME!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

My advise for you is to call your mum narate the whole thing to her and take the baby home with you.If you leave the baby behind and think you can live a normal life after,my dear it will hunt you down especially with the fact that you are a christian.Please dont do what you will live to regret...

Anonymous said...

Well,it's such a pathetic story and I empathize deeply with her. let her not attempt to drop her child for adoption just bcos she does not want her parents and ppl back hopme to know. that would amount to covering her sins and the bible he that attempts to cover his sins would not prosper. I am alluding to the bible because she confesses to been a christian. she has taken the first step needed in forgiveness by refusing abortion. she should first talk to her pastor/mentor and then call her parents explaining to them what happened. she should ask for their forgiiveness and show true penitence. I bet her parents would forgive her and God would also if she is sincere about it. as for the guy, she should flee from him. he does not love her, if he does, he would not say she should keep the baby but not reveal he was responsible. he enjoyed the act but loathe the implication. too bad. as for the baby, let her keep it and raise her. having a child of wedlock is not the end of the world. what matters is to raise the child properly and make sure she does not repeat her mistakes.

dis geh said...

Am single and having my baby in months, my mom is a pastor in mfm. But not for once have I thought of gettn rid of my child cos ve never been pregnant in all my 25yrs. I see it as a blessing and a shame to me. Ppl will always talk but I don't care about them I care about me and my child. My dear its not as bad as u think, your parents will learn to accept it just as my mom has done. As for the boy, let him also share in the responsibility, u can't let him off the hook so easy afterall u didn't get pregnant all by yourself. TELL UR PARENTS ASAP!

Anonymous said...

What happened has happened. All you need do is tell your parents the truth. Though it will hurt them but with time they will forgive and forget. Please have your baby and give him or her the best. There is nothing wrong with been a single mother. You are not the first and won't be the last. Com'on girl, you can do it!

Anonymous said...

Sweetheart:
1. Keep the baby, that's for sure
2. Let them know who is responsible
3. Do not give that baby up for adoption because God has His way of blessing us even at a time we don't think or feel it's right
4. Draw closer to God and he will be your guide
5. At the end of the day blood id thicker than water... So your family will get over it!

God bless you and your baby, Amen!

Anonymous said...

U must b a very big goat 4 talkin lik that...u dat is talkin r u a honour 2 ur folks?,u just open ur mouth n talk yaaaaa,na u holy pass abi,girly in question dnt alw talks lik dis get 2 u ok?,dius just so u knw dat nt evrybody is sane.msheewwww

Anonymous said...

Keep your baby, inform your parent and let them suggest what to do. Period.

Anonymous said...

Face all the embarrassment or whatever names u call it. All are just for a while but please, do not play with that child God has giving to you because he (the child)is the bird at hand.Talking from experience. As for your boyfriend he never loved you from day one.I expected him come out and share the pain because you guys are in this mess together

faevur said...

k. ds is my 1st time of commenting on LIB but i think u shd take d baby home; it's easier to give d baby up but u'l live d rest of ur life wondering "what if...", "where is my baby...", "is he/she still alive...",etc and thats not worth it. brace urself and expect the worst but it'l be for a while. hang on no matter and hold on to GOd cuz 1ce u've asked Him to forgive u, He wil not judge u. good luck. PS: that boyfriend of urs is soooo not worth it!

Anonymous said...

girl you must first accept you messed up,then prepare your mind for the things people and your parents will say and you know what be numble enough to accept it, cause you deserve it. AND THEN watch as it all fade away. you have to tell your parents,for abortion and going to the orphanage, after reading this dnt let it cross ur mind again, cause you actually going to ve dat baby 4 keeps.

Anonymous said...

this story is incomplete and no b one day job. you done dey take banana since. you dey skin dive siince e d sweet you. nevertheless i think you shud tell your fam will be hard at frst but you will be fine happend to my frnd

Anonymous said...

tell your, parents you'll be surprised how understanding even the most strict parents can be, trust me on this, my parents are ministers too so i feel the pressure, just tell them...you never know if you never try..kk hun take care of the baby and thanks for keeping it :)

Tostie said...

Aint nothing new under the sun love. Its better you take the baby home now because nobody is perfect. The baby is God's given gift and you don't want to regret this action in future. Goodluck and Congrats!

THE REALIST said...

im disgusted by most posts here...nig peeps naaa una have sex pass!! every gal thatS CLAIMING virgin here congrats to you it does not secure a bright future..a good man..and heaven.there are so many other things involved so y are u all carrying it on ur head!!..pls stfu its just sex and itas eASy to have if we ur under pressure consistently..most babes judging her have not realy been exposed to this..so neva judge!..plus babe i feel ur pain..its ok to be pregnant but i feel if ur less than a month there are harmless pills that are legal in the us that u can use and have ur regular period..its as good as nofng kuz its not a feotus yet..above that have ur kid hunny..and if possible go MIA for a while and text ur family the neews...trust me theld look for u and love u so dearly.

THE REALIST.

Anonymous said...

I want to put this straight to you. Australia is not Africa everything is documented so even if you give up the baby now ...Trust me in yrs to come your family must find out one day. If GOD can forgive us why can't your parents forgive you.

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