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Sunday, 17 June 2012

Dear LIB Readers: My boyfriend might cheat with his PA

From a LIB reader:
I want to share my dilemma with your readers because I need advice. 
My Boyfriend and I have been dating for the past 5 years. I'm in my late 20s, and he's almost 35 and he has not yet proposed to me, even though we've been living together. But that's not even the issue.

I've never had reason to doubt his love or fidelity for me. I know he loves me, and he usually goes extreme miles to prove it. Like 2 years ago, he actually moved to the UK to spend a year with me when I was doing my masters. He owns his own company here in Lagos- a very successful oil and commodities trading firm, but when I was going to the U.K, he relocated with me and ran his business from there just because he wanted to be close to me. He always tells me he can't live without me, and I believe him. I love that guy to death- not because of his wealth, but because he's a very kind-hearted and funny person. And he treats me like I am the only lady in the world. I love him so much- more than anything else in the world. 

He's a billionaire, and he's also quite looking, so you can imagine. Many Lagos girls are always on his case, giving him signals and throwing themselves at him. Whenever we are at the Polo club, I notice how many girls look at him and try to gain his attention. I've never really been bothered because I know he loves me. I've always known him as a decent guy and he has never really been the womanizing type. Actually, he's very shy and quite an introvert. He couldn't even cheat if he wanted to. Plus he's a workaholic so the only priorities in his life have always been me and his work.

But things have changed. Recently, my boyfriend's PA of 6 years went on a study leave out of the country. My Boyfriend needed a replacement, and after his Human resources team conducted a series of interviews, they hired a female PA for him. I had a chance to meet her two weeks ago.

Linda, I don't like the girl. Not one bit. Even though she's polite and courteous,  she is too beautiful. She's a Calabar girl with flawless fair skin. She's a head-turner, the kind that you can't just stare at once. She's a bit taller than me, slim yet busty with a big behind to boot. She has the kind of figure the average Nigerian man likes. She's just the kind of girl every guy would fall in love with at first sight. I don't think my boyfriend can possibly resist that kind of girl, especially when she is working in close proximity with him, every time. I'm also worried because of the incentives my boyfriend has been giving her. His former PA was driving a Honda Accord as an official car. My boyfriend bought her a BMW Jeep for an official car. Linda, who gives a PA a BMW Jeep for an official car? Also, these days my boyfriend has been working late. He usually comes back home by 6 or 7pm latest, and carries on with whatever work is left from home. These days, he comes home around 11pm. I interrogated him about it last week, but he assured me it's nothing and even started getting angry when I tried to press it. I've started feeling like he's becoming distant towards me. One of my friends called me yesterday and told me that she saw my boyfriend with a lady in the Polo club having drinks. The girl described totally fits the description of his new PA.  

I fear this girl may be making moves on my boyfriend, and he may be liking it- or he may even be falling for her, because among other things, I cannot understand the BMW official car, and the late nights. It's difficult not to fall for a girl like her. What do I do Linda? I can't let this girl steal my man. Should I raise my concerns with my man and ask him to fire her and get a Male PA or something? Please advice.

210 comments:

1 – 200 of 210   Newer›   Newest»
deekay said...

Choi!! I feel sorry for u girl. I think u hv every reason to b worried. why hasn't he proposed tho? 5yrs is a lot!!!

Anonymous said...

Sorry this just sounds fake. It sounds like your typical nollywood script. It doesn't even sound sincere. It's so generic.

Linda, it's not every LIB you have to post.

Anonymous said...

How can u be living wit a man ure nt married to yet and u want him to propose...are u a fool? Dts d issue if u dnt knw...y'all end up breaking God's laws...wen kata kata burst u call on him 4 help...I no blame una...he's merciful dts y...beta pack ur load

Anabel said...

make hay while the sun shine! What are u waiting 4? Go confront him politely sharp sharp. 5yrs is not five days ooo! Scavengers in women's skin are evywhr n will grab once u turn ur back. Use ur head n d secret power of every woman. God's ur strength.

Hawt Nne said...

PRAYER IS DA KEY, PRAYER IS DA KEY, PRAYER IS DA MASTER KEY! JESUS STARTED WITH PRAYER AND ENDED WITH PRAYER, PRAYER IS THE MASTER KEY!!

SHIKENAN!

Anonymous said...

this na Vodoo story,

Anonymous said...

This story is a product of your imaginations and not real... Please don't take your readers for granted.

Anonymous said...

I don't think asking him to fire her and get a male PA is the answer. Try to get as close to him as possible, and then ask him whether or not he feels like it's now the right time for the both of you to settle down and marry, afterall you've been together for sometime now. If I may add, you made a mistake by moving in with him and living together for so long but what has happened has happened. By his response you'll know the current status of the relationship and the decision to move on to someone that loves you and wants to take you seriously as a wife will be easier to take. Money means nothing Dear, it's here today, gone tomorrow.

Anonymous said...

Living with him when he has not proposed to you. Smh

Some women are just so paranoid. Better make your case to God. It'll be quite unfair for him to fire her just because you're afraid she may steal him from you. If he truly loves you, nothing will take him away.

Anonymous said...

sorry dear but ur boyfriend is gone and has already proposed marriage to his PA...BTW what car do u drive?? think with ur head...

Anonymous said...

Only God can solve this matter...just be prayerful dear...and then you need to be firm when interrogating him.

Also try to step up your gAme look on point at all times and more importantly just be prayerful!

Professor X said...

Err.. Please what's the name of your boyfriend's company? I have a friend of a neighbour's cousin's church member who's looking for a job and would like a BMW as an official car. Thanks as you provide answers.

Anonymous said...

Well it doesn't sound real plus u did ur master in uk and ur write up English look like something my 10yrs old niece wil write. For this poor English u did not deserve a billionaire boy friend....... Jezzzzzzz u hurt my eyes

Insecurerity complex is worrying u, so if ur man has a male PA does dat mean ur relationship is seal, pls go n sit down.
So u think a male pa can't arrange babes 4 ur man and even if he get caught wit a lady he can say the babe belong to his pa and cook story up plus the d male pa will got his boss back. Men don't sell each other away like women I op u knw dat.

If u re wit him for 5yrs and no propose he might ve grown out of love n just be wit u out of pity n at the end it won't work out even if u get marry.
Am a man and knw what am saying..... Good luck. X

bisola said...

pls i expect people to be polite and just give dis poor girl an advise and if u dont have any pls just read.u people add to someones worries by some insults and abuses heaped on these people seeking advise.
like wat my mum in law will tell me,be extremely patient.but unfortunately u guys are not married so theres little u can do.but confront him nicely and tell him you know wat he's up to.even if he's not upto anything.put a bit of fear in him.he will surely come bk.(but i thot u said he's not so much into girls.dats guys for u)and also since u both are not married,give him d impression that different guys wont just let u rest.they kip disturbing u.even if na lie.trust me guys dont like dat and once he feels he might loose u,he'll put a ring on it.

Dr. Chinedu DDS said...

Very fake story. Linda if you want to make up stories, make it sound real. I always avoid this your Dear LIB readers because I never understood what it mean. Now I am confused if this story is supposed to be real or is it actually mere fiction to entertain us?

Bill said...

Woow! All I can say is dat some people are really enjoying in dis country! A billionaire at 35yrs! Am almost dat age but not even close to 1% of that wealth! God of justice where are you....as for you lady just kiss you Bf goodbye cause he is gone! He has been waiting for the right girl dat fits his wealth that's why he hasn't proposed to you even though you guys are living together! He just feels that something better is out there and from the description of the girl u just gave I think she is d one! It is d survival of d fittest! Its an unfair world! Take heart dear

Boy! Am just heartless with d advice I just gave *oops*

Anonymous said...

When he fires her den she wud b a mistress nd b free dat doesn't stop him frm cheating if he has to. Jst pray and confront him and know where u stand.

Anonymous said...

AwWwww eh ya? But why hasn't he proposed!! Jeez! He has evrytn obviously....

Anonymous said...

Mennnnnn girl you better start serious prayers.....calaber girls can be real fine ohhhh... he bought her a BMW.....do you know what that stands for? Be my wife....shikena.... you are either going to struggle to make sure the girl does not have him even if you don't have him.....because that is a biggg slap on your face ohhhh...choiii I feel for you goni...sometimes these men are just not strong.....and you have to indirectly make major decisions for them.

Woman of Virtue said...

You are on your own...Ndo!

Anonymous said...

Linda, just make up stories and u guys buy it...so sad.mschewww

Anonymous said...

i think you are just being paranoid cos u feel the girl is so hot and that makes u feel insecure... besides why hasn't he committed since its been 5 yrs, u better figure out your stand in the relationship and if he does not want you in his future then find your way.

Anabel said...

Why are many Nigerians hypocrites biko nu? Why is she living with her boyfriend? Like seriously? What do we say to people like Brangelina? What makes me laugh is that 60 percent of dese pretenders are guilty of such n even worse. If u've got no advice, let the babe be abeg......mtschew.

Anonymous said...

Wat of d man in question swings both ways,don't u think is an opportunity to buy the male P.A an escalade,please am interested,wats the mans numbers like now.

Anonymous said...

My dear you are the architect of your problems.... I mean what are you doing under his roof without being married to him..and for FIVE YEARS....O boy.
You should have made moves for him to com see ur peeps a long time ago.
Just convince him to get married to you or else hmm...hmmmmm.....sorry to say o but he'd soon get tired u(if he is not), afterall u guys aint bound by oath of marriage sooo prepare ur mind for anything. And remember PRAY ALWAYS.
**Chynell**

Anonymous said...

make sure he fires the stupid girl jare . driving BMW as a PA .. and babes , try and get married my dear 5yrs is a long time. plus, every other girl will deem him single since his not yet married , even though in a serious relationship. get him to put a ring on it. get the the stupid PA girl sacked simple..............

Bill said...

Idiot! You are insulting her of her english!! have you gone through dis one u just typed? Pot calling kettle black! Mtcheeew

Eze said...

Scared of a little competition? You said he 'might' meaning that you doubt his love.

Anonymous said...

Dear lord!ur own write up is a disaster!and u re insulting else pesn.mtschewwww

Anonymous said...

Don't ask him to sack her, u will b able to know more abt their rship wen she's closer. Confront ur man and let him know u r aware of his moves. Also try to find out where u stand wit him cos 5 yrs is a long time! If he's serious wit u, check out! Ure not his wife to start taking shit from him.keep ur mind open to other rships. D right guy will come.

Anonymous said...

Nice!God bless u.pple re so quick to judge n hurl insults.u comment makes a whole lotta sense.I wish her well too

Stephen said...

Linda, pls publish my comment. I need help from the readers.
I was born 25yrs ago to a good family who instilled good in their 3 kids.
When growing up, at age 5, I used to prefer dolls to balls. Then as the years passed by, I found myself having an attraction for both boys and girls.
Then by age 15, I had a sexual relationship(I am very ashamed about this) with a boy.
Then by 18, I realised that my same-sex attraction was higher than my attraction to girls.
The last time I ever had sex was in 2005, but I had never done it with a girl.
Then in 2009, at age 22, I fell in love with a girl to whom I was attracted. But, in order not to deceive her, I never asked her out. Knowing that, I am more gay than bisexual.
Since 2011, I have been thinking of going to a man of God for deliverance prayer, to heal me from this sickness of homosexuality. But I have my doubts. I am confused and need advice.
On another note, I believe that God creates every human being with different struggles in the world. Mine happens to be homosexuality which I'm not proud of. In some cases, it IS true that people are born gay or straight. Please, whoever reads this comment, advise me on the way forward: should I go for deliverance prayer or should I accept who I am?

Anonymous said...

Oh pls shut up since uv got nothing else to say.

Makeover by T.E.J.U said...

He hasn't proposed,u say it don't matter, how?..yoruba will say, *he done see u finish*,cook,clean,sex errything...lemme say, wat if u got Pregnant, do u tink he'l marry u and let go of this chic,I get where u are coming from, see...if HE still loves u, free him, he'l sleep with her and spend,and he'l still come back to U,coz he has gottn all he wants from the girl,that's a man for you, spend all he can to get under her skirt and suddenly she stops making sense and He's bak to u,coz He LOVES u beyond the Sex......p.s,my advice; Don't Confront him, be the bigger girl,just Hope and Pray, and Yes keep ur tabs open, all those guys that have been on ur case,my dear just keep dem on the side...shikena.

Anonymous said...

Immediately I saw Calabar girl, I had to come and comment sharp sharp. Bounce d girl if u can, take her far far away from ur bobo. He might not leave u for her but once something goes on between them, your relationship with him becomes scarred. Calabar chicks boast about how good they are in snatching other girls guys, act fast girl. Wish you the best. Now back to the story.
What's up with living with a guy for that long and no wedding bells. Be careful girl.

Anonymous said...

well i don't think you should be worried. i mean 5 years is a lot of time just ask him whether the relationship is going anywhere if its not pack your bags and leave . he's doesn't know what his got until he looses it!!!

Anonymous said...

Lmaooooooooooooo. See song o

Anonymous said...

Accept who u are. People are born gay. U.can try deliverance if it makes u feel better, but it won't work.

Anonymous said...

Wetin concern us wit ur matter nau?mtcheeew.na ur own we dey talk 4 here?

Anonymous said...

Stephen ur own is harder dan dis post oooo bet wot i wud say is go for deliverance and if dat dont work accep wo u are. But am a christian and i do not like or support homosexuality. So i would say pls accept Jesus as ur Lord and saviour and you will be delivered

KIM said...

Yea, tot so too, the story is somehow.A P.A in naija. BMW jeep. Gimme a break. Let's start looking for P.A jobs, if that's the case.

Anonymous said...

Be asking us, don't go 4 deliverance

Lilspicer said...

Lmfaooo nawa boiz of nowadays thankgod say me and my babyy still dey lik neato-c 5 and 6(omo-iwo)says so...via blackberrybold.5

Anonymous said...

U shud v just ignored his mistake. What is else person??? Mschww na ur own con bad pass

Anonymous said...

I'VE NEVER KNOW LINDA TO BE A COUNSELOR. THOSE WITH ISSUES OF THE HEART SHOULD GO TO;
http://auntieagatha.blogspot.com/
THAT IS WHERE THE COUNSELOR IS; CLICK AND SEE . . .

Fearless! said...

Your EngliSh hen,odi kwa somehow, ​​​​​​​​​​=))º°˚˚˚°ºLmaoº°˚˚˚°º‎​°º‎​=))
To think u had a go at the writer is just hilarious to me.
Ur EngliSh is poorer,hope u know!
​​​​​​​​​​=))º°˚˚˚°ºLmaoº°˚˚˚°º‎​°º‎​=))

Anonymous said...

Sorry bout ur dilema but seriously living with him is a big mistake cos he might not Ơ̴̴̴̴͡.̮Ơ̴̴̴͡ a reason to marry you wen he has already seen all the goods. Five years is a long time Ooº°˚ ˚°ºoo so my dear dis one that he has not proposed pls call him and ask him where ur relationship is heading. Just talk to him and pray. Bout the other lady, just keep praying cos even if he marries u, he might still cheat.

Anonymous said...

EVEN IN LIB'S INTRO (HOME) PAGE. SHE DID NOT TELL US THAT SHE IS A COUNSELOR. NEED A COUNSELOR? CLICK HERE;http://auntieagatha.blogspot.com/ . CLICK AND SEE . . .

Fearless! said...

So u know!lol
Never give up on love,but if he wants to go,let him go!

Anonymous said...

Bill, you are just saying exactly what people are thinking... however, babe, me I will make sure he does not end up with that calabar girl oh....if not you then definitely not this yeye ole of a girl oh.... after five years...

Fearless! said...

Bragelina are in American,this is Nigeria,we have culture!

Anonymous said...

This is another stupid girl(woman). How can you live with a man for almost 5 years without blinking. You must be insane.Foolish woman, There is nothing special in you any more. You decided to give your self to a man for 5 good years, day and night. So tell us, what do you expect from him, Proposal? You cant make claim of what did not belong to you. He is single and have every right to keep anyone he choose. Any move you make will earn you rejections before him. Beside, if the so-called PA is sexually active, your case is closed chapter. Even if you are equally active in bed, the new PA is a new wine in an old bottle. He will go for the new wine in an old bottle. Foolish idiot. A Looser.

I LOVE THIS MUSIC BELOW


"Angelina amaala mma alu alu,
Dorathy, amaala mma alu alu,
Should in case a chowa onye ga-alu ya,
I am sorry, aka m adighi ya:

'Angelina is very pretty and worthy of marriage, and Dorathy is also very pretty and worthy of marriage' But then goes on to warn, 'Should in case, (in the event) there is a search for husband for the two ladies, I am sorry I wish to have no hands in it.' In a nutshell, the message was clearly, that being chic did not translate into being a potentially good wife."

Fearless! said...

#speechless!
Uve got to be kidding me!

sakara said...

pls dont think aboout PA's like that, I am a PA too and it has never crossed my mind to date my boss, and even though i have my own car, whenever he sends me on errands I drive his cars, that was before we got our official cars, even his wife knew all these, but she never for once doubted her man, cause of d way I am, when he's expecting his babes, do u know he sends me away cause he feels he shouldn't bring himself down n my presence, but for d drink affair and d description otherwise i'll not be worried- why dont u become this girls very close friend, make her ur pal, invite her for lunch, dinner and so, those days ur man likes to come home late, hijack her for a drink, dinner or some evening get together and on those days watch d time ur man gets home, then u'll know f he's truly @ work, pls dont make a nasty decision cause u may just be getting paranoid for nothing

chichi said...

he hasnt proposed to you because you have not required him too...

why are you even living with a man in the first place?
That doesnt sound right. Maybe there is no need to propose because your already acting like a wife.

Girl you need to take action and call him to order. First of all he needs to understand that PA is trouble, and if he respects the relationship, he would let her go but still as someone says, he fires her, she becomes a side chick.

I personally think you need to move out and end things with this guy cos clearly, he is not serious. How can you be with a guy for 5years and he has not popped the question? Girls that have been dating their boyfriends for less than a year have gotten engaged, so there is no excuse for why he has not proposed. I think its pretty obvious that he does not want you as a wife and you are there playing the role of a wife. My girl you need to think with your head and not your heart, thinking with your heart is going to get you heart broken. Fine, he did all that for you in the past but you need to understand that people change. He can wake up one morning and say his done with the relationship and easily move on to the next. But its hard for us women to move on, especially when we are getting old. I think you should make hay while the sun shines. You need to take action of the situation. And what the hell is he getting mad at you for, is he insane. If you were in his postion, am sure he would flip. You need to dump his ass, and make him realize what he has lost.

chichi said...

he hasnt proposed to you because you have not required him too...

why are you even living with a man in the first place?
That doesnt sound right. Maybe there is no need to propose because your already acting like a wife.

Girl you need to take action and call him to order. First of all he needs to understand that PA is trouble, and if he respects the relationship, he would let her go but still as someone says, he fires her, she becomes a side chick.

I personally think you need to move out and end things with this guy cos clearly, he is not serious. How can you be with a guy for 5years and he has not popped the question? Girls that have been dating their boyfriends for less than a year have gotten engaged, so there is no excuse for why he has not proposed. I think its pretty obvious that he does not want you as a wife and you are there playing the role of a wife. My girl you need to think with your head and not your heart, thinking with your heart is going to get you heart broken. Fine, he did all that for you in the past but you need to understand that people change. He can wake up one morning and say his done with the relationship and easily move on to the next. But its hard for us women to move on, especially when we are getting old. I think you should make hay while the sun shines. You need to take action of the situation. And what the hell is he getting mad at you for, is he insane. If you were in his postion, am sure he would flip. You need to dump his ass, and make him realize what he has lost.

Anonymous said...

I got to admit, I laughed out loud when I started reading this. Then I thought, is this for real or just some Nollywood script? Well, all I can say is i'm very happy i'm a guy and don't have to worry about a "flawlessly-skinned" girl hitting on my, uh, 'boyfriend.'

Anonymous said...

Linda its an LIB readear not 'a'if you want to use 'a' then type >>a linda ikeji blog reader! Please you went to school and should know this gosh!!! If you use abbreviations, use the right vowels! U don't have to post this

Anonymous said...

U didn't need to insult anoda person cos u fink there write up is bad when urs is no where close to getting a pass talk more of credit.. BTW,what u said is so true,she can't get a ring from the guy anymore.. One mistake u don't do is move in when there is no sign that u own the man.. That guy is so single so if he flirts or date his PA,he's so single.. And why are u shaking when u said u knw ur boy friend loves u so much that he even had to leave his business for a year to be in the UK(even though I don't believe this story,how wud some1 with the type of company u describe leave for a year. Dangote wit a big company can't even take a day break).. Just allow him do what he is doing and if he really wants u,he will come back for u. Bt find a way to move out of the house,rent an apartment,make him get u a car and provide money for u to venture into business,that way,u dint loose that much if he leaves u

Professor X said...

*waits patiently for comments*

Anonymous said...

Jealous woman ahahahah cuz he is a billonaire ur already biting her !did she tell u her masters was in typing correct english?????? Abeg park well and faarr away from progressive people badbelle.com

Anonymous said...

If am this man, any day you confront me, that will be the end of our relationship. You are the one who pack your bag to his house, if its the other way round, he would have proposed to you.

You decided to live with him. There is no more enthusiasim on what you have in-between your two legs. He has seen you finish.

I told one girl who decided to live with me some years back that i will not marry her if she spend more that two weeks in my house. she end up spending six months.

I sleep with her sometimes 4 times a day until i get tired of her. She decided to go when she find out that i have no more feelings for her. This is the girl i love so much and was planing to marry her. But she decided to bring her self to me. My mother was so mad at her. My mother came to visit unannounced and saw her in my house and ask her to leave. My mum classify her as irresponsible. A sane lady must not live with a man who is not your husband. You can visit for atleast one week or two.

But not living with a man who is not your husband. I have no pity for some women in this category but i respect women a lot. Those who deserve my respect. Your pride is what you have in-between your legs.

Anonymous said...

Th man is an introvert. That's the point. Most introvert males lack the courage to propose, they just sit there by your side and expect u to understand they really want to propose. So u ve to put that pressure on him by politely telling him it won't be a bad idea if u guys got married now things are still creamy.

Anonymous said...

I laugh at a lot of comments here especially †̥ђε̲̣̣̣̥ ones that ask her why she is living with her bf. All ye hyocrites if u have nothing to say shut ur trap.
As u for u dear, don't confront him biko, try instead and know where u stand with him,cos he might just be taking u for a long ride of 5yrs and may not have d intention of settling down with u.
Moreover a male PA is not †̥ђε̲̣̣̣̥ solution. As for you all saying d story is fake ,must u comment? mtscheew- Palo

Anonymous said...

Lol ay d job seeker.When reading d story at some point when 35 yrs, young, oil m gas ... I thought it was Chima Anyaso.

Anonymous said...

@gay guy; Abeg go for deliverance, but know dat u can only deliver yourself and not just dat........u have to make up ur mind....i mean MAKE UP YOUR MIND... be eager to stop. It won't be easy, but u gotta try.

Just soak ur mind in tinz of christ and whenever u feel lyk having intercourse wt a guy, take walk for fresh air, engaging in positive thinking.

Also, get that gurl u love, spend much time with her, if possible tel her to help u(if possible o) depending on d condition.
**chynell**

Yemisi said...

Define the relationship, be bold and ask him questions- like y hasn't he proposed?, wots he waiting for?, afterall he's doing well and he's of age. Get answers and know where u'r heading, don't let anyone waste ur precious time.

Anonymous said...

all i can say is assasinate d girl #shikena#

Janded said...

A player is a player. You have to decide if yours is one and if so want do you want to do? Stay or leave?

Anonymous said...

THIS STORY IS ABSOLUTELY FAKE. How do you run an oil and commodity trading firm from outside Nigeria, who has a multi-million dollar business and travels for a year because of a wife who will still come back. This is a nollywood story. Study leave for 6 years is also another striking point. Linda, you don't post every story they send to you, abeg read am well.

KSmith said...

Well, lot of good like mind comment and some are RUBBISH like assuming this is a 'cook-up' story. How dare you with your arm-chair speculation.

Lady: Just pray hard to God to forgive you and make you overcome this challenge you're passing through now. Do the right thing because you have taken some wrong action. Many have already been given.

As ƒor the guy suffering from homosexuality, definitely that's not your portion. It's purely a satanic act and even common sense can lighten up a rational human mind that this is purely a wrong act. So, go ƒor deliverance. I pray God heal your heart of this bad act. Amen

George_O said...

Lol. My dear if fire starts burning a small part of your house, if you don't quench it quickly it will engulf the whole house.
Don't accuse him of anything, just request he transfers her out of the branch, that you aren't confortable with her around simple. Wisdom is profitable to direct.

Anonymous said...

ONOME says.......
The root cause of your problem girl is your insecurity.I have seen "ugly"girls marry "hawt"men with no issues about fidelity.So what is your problem???
Even if he sacks this one and employs a new secretary or cleaning lady etc this green eyed monster would rear its ugly head again.So work on your insecurities dear,and if ur man has given u reason to feel this insecure u had better make a decision before u commit ur self to another 50 years of every new employee headache.

BTW who stays 5yrs without marriage in a relationship and lives with the man to boot?You are not being wise at all.Under your nose another woman who is smart will throw u out!

Anonymous said...

i think you should step your game up!! somehow

Anonymous said...

Its time to walk away hon. Tell him that its either marriage or nothing. You need to start baking kids and there is no time left. And be prepared for heart break. Don't fight the girl don't fight him just drop your terms and move out. Tell him that 5 years is too long to be unsure. See most of my cousins did not court up to one year and their marriages are strong why because they know what they want if U̶̲̥̅̊ were married by now kids would be all over the place and whether he cheats or not you are un remove ablebut see nw U̶̲̥̅̊ can be easily expended

Anonymous said...

I am a calabar girl and honestly...While the stereotype is annoying, it's partly true. Some jazz using hungry calabar desperado hijacked my father - imagine a man abandoning his family and marriage of over 32years. God is dealing with her now- praise be to His name! They even do it to their own- INBELIEVABLE! Pray and ask for God's help.
I'm efik and I'm not in love with them! Mtscheeeew! The desperate ones are altogether too desperate for my liking. If he's yours, baby no jupiter fit take am, report her to God, sit back and watch. If he goes though, better is coming your way, believe it!

Anonymous said...

Please go for deliverance. The Lord is your strength. Nobody was born gay. That is a lie from the devil who wants to use it to steal your destiny. Please keep us updated!

Anonymous said...

Calabar girls are good at taking peoples man,so you have to act sharp and fast and why the heck would you stay in a mans house you aint married to,but I understand its love and affection though,bounce the girl though. I wish you luck

sugarbear said...

Leave his house mehn! Tell him u v 2 leave bcos after 5yrs he hasn't proposed 2 u,tell him u v 2 move on cos u nt sure of where u stand right now nd u nt getting any younger. Trust me if he loves u,he ll do anything for u to stay. Jst communicate how u feel to him. I am sure he thinks u are comfortable with the whole nt married now thing. Let him know. Plus dnt jst sit at home doing nuffin,u dint school in d Uk 2 sit at home. Go to work! Let him admire u.

Anonymous said...

idiot, 'and no propose' 'even if u get marry'

Anonymous said...

Sweetheart carry belle 4 him,that will occupy his mind.I know I'm nt supposed 2 b saying this but u r in a very tight situation

Anonymous said...

Linda you've got to stop insulting our intelligence with these fate stories. Everything is so cliche.

Anonymous said...

"keep your friends close and your enemies closer"-- i would advice you to try and make friends with the girl. invite her to lunch or something. you might be able to figure out what's going on from the kind of reaction you get from her; if she's cold or disrespectful or downright hostile to you, there's probably more to it than a boss-PA working relationship. you could also tell your bf your plans and test his reaction as well- see how comfortable (or not) he is with the idea of you guys becoming friends.

Anonymous said...

@Bisola
When i read your post, i said to myself this advise had to be coming from a girl/lady and then i saw your name and smiled,with due respect B! your advice is typical of the way women think,you know what they say...men are from Mars women are from Venus,"what if the guy had stopped loving or liking her long before now i.e before the PA?"One of my many observations about Linda's blog is that 60-80% of the people who visit this blog are the women folk(hypothetically)...i can tell by their many feminist comments however most of them don't have a clue about how men think or reason,with due respect to some fellas we think with our dicks at some times,we lose every sense of reasoning when it comes to women that appeals to our sexual fancy,and some women know this for a fact,which is why they will use their sexuality to get anything they so desire from that man,i personally get a hard on just looking at a girl inside the church and i always have to renew my mind immediately with the blood of Jesus,i don't want to that especially not inside the church but i can't help it at some times.You would have to be a guy to understand what makes men behave the way they do,the anatomy and physiology of men beyond what we were taught at Medschool.In conclusion you need to understand guys very well and don't advise the young girl to be telling the guy some other guys are chasing and disturbing her,trust me he will be sososo glad especially if he has stopped feeling the girl.

@The girl looking for advise,
In my opinion,one big mistake you made was not getting close to the PA,i mean acquainting yourself with her...you know what they say?..keep your friends close,but keep your enemy closer,that way you can strategise better and if she has a conscience,she'd probably screw your BF a few times and bone than taking him absolutely
away from you,when you become veeeeery close to her,you know everything about her,her parents,close friends,families,pastor and you make sure they all know that your husband to be is her benefactor/employer,if and when she dares to cross the line,you give her some KOLA BOOF TREATMENT.Am sure Linda&Ladun will be more than glad to publish and follow the story.By the way this my first time of commenting on your blog Linda.Do i get a Nobel price for my write up?

obinna Bina said...

Prayer???? Wat kind of prayer is dat one?? Do u tink God is a fool?? u tink God wil ans dat kind of prayer??? Prayer of a lady who has been fornicating with a man for 5yrs??? Lol...dont kn wat some of you people take God for?

Anonymous said...

Speechless..ODIKWA EGWU... 5YRZ NO BE BEANS

Unknown said...

hmmmmmm. Babeeee sorry oh!, confront your after three days fasting and prayer, and watch out what God will do for you. Also meet his best male frnd whom you feel like you too and explain bcos calabar girls are dangerous. I pity for you but God knows better.

Anonymous said...

@Make up by Teju
Fantastic advise from you
The guy in question reminds me of myself, and seriously every inch ,same status,personality and situation and i can honestly tell you that you understand men well.If he loves her he will come back home.The PA is just some runz to satisfy his libido but be careful of oxytocin..it works.

sbaz said...

Don't worry dear, calabar babes are 'harmless'.....she won't 'harm' him, only 'less' him :)

Anonymous said...

Dull babe, dats one of his side kicks he's employed as a P.A . Lets see whi gets the ring first b/w the 2 of u

obinna Bina said...

U guys should stop talkin about her 'praying' abeg. God is no fool. This lady has been fornicating with this man for 5years now, in d name of 'he is my man'.
The only prayer she can do now is to go and ask God for forgiveness of sins. As for the rship, if this story is true, she has lost the man, cos a man who cudn't propose to you when you have been with him for 5years, has seen a fault that has made him believe he cant live with the Lady.....sorry lady, learn your lessons and go find your true man.

Anonymous said...

U r in ur late 20s n a man is one of ur problems? Girl u better start makin money n get ur own place. Na wa ooo..... Wen u perform d duties of a wife, y shld he bother wifing thee properly?

Anonymous said...

lol @anon12.54pm....and @Liar gay stephen.. oooo shut it...stop distracting from the topic

Anonymous said...

Seriously? You said the man is DECENT and he LOVES you for 5years..wake up girl. Pack and move out , if he really loves let him put a ring on your finger, that is d surest way of not doing without you, otherwise its hogwash. How d ones with wedding rings don finish talk of live in girlfriend? Yes, that's what you are darling.

Anonymous said...

This story sounds fake and insincere then again if its true.....5yrs girrrl that's a long time.why would he commit when he gets errrything for free,he cnt appreciate you cos ur too available..about his PA I don't think ur billionaire boyfriend would care much for ur nagging so jus kneel down nd pray he gets over her asap nd comes bac to you if not ur on ur own............

Cee_Bill said...

Lol! X,u're definitrly high... So den,dis neighbour of yours is sure not 2 make advances 2 dat rich dude,yeah? Wuite a solution...
And 2 d troubled lady,all these might just be mere conincidences. Just relax and quit those thots and wild imaginations. Yu're jealous and its natural. I also advice you move out of his house(NB-i dnt mean break up).

sexymoi said...

All u dump ass commernters that says the story or stories we read here are fake and ficticious are just fools cos u all leave an illusion life so definitely not beliv anything. Stupid people. A lot of things happens to different people and we have some geniue people on this blog that gives advises for the worried souls. I just wrote my story now and will like to share to people to learn from and for geniue people to comment, who knows whch story will make a life changing impact on each and every of us. Babes, like some1 said, pretend like u saw them 2 togeda that's after making sure u've confirmed ur suspicion and also fake a gist of how u just met a guy that just won't let u be, I guess he's response and attitude will def give u the answer u want. All the very best.

steele said...

First to the homo, God didn't create you with the struggle of homosexuality because he absolutely detests it.

Second to the one with the 10 year old niece who speaks better english than u , oing your masters in the uk doesn't guarantee impeccable english. If you did yours there I'm sure you would be evidence of that.

Thirdly to the main matter at hand, madam ur wahala plenty. Assuming that this story is real, cos I refuse to believe that Linda will post something false, your first mistake was moving in without being engaged or married. It was morally wrong and I hope say him never see u finish. Someone said something earlier regarding brangelina but I don't wanna believe that anyone in their right senses would make reference to a hollywood couple, hollywood where a one year marriage is thought to be a very successful one.
Lemme be blunt here, your bf might be already sleeping with his PA, keep an open mind. What you should be more worried about if he's started acting weird towards you, has he been any less affectionate? If he has then you have your answer. I almost agree with the comment that says you should let him have his way with her so it will get out of his system BUT from experience calabar girls aren't that easy to get rid of, they grow on you.
And the BMW jeep? Wow! That should be evidence that he's trying to impress her, and once a man tries to impress a woman then she's got him wrapped around her fingers.

Sorry, the issues many but I done taya to type so I'll leave u with this. Pray for your union but before you do that get right with God and move out of his house and if he's really meant to be yours he will come looking for you and he will do the right thing. Billionaires could be eccentric but they are human too and if u mean much to him he will fight for u.

Anonymous said...

Keep your enemies close... Befriend her. Marriage comes when it comes, but make sure you ain't playing the second fiddle. Cos truthfully, no man is a saint. Most especially a bachelor..... It cud be that he only wants to "tap that ass"..... But then again, trend softly and wisely.

Anonymous said...

yeah ignore the proposal thing, a lot of men enjoy taking their time and some are just scared to mariages so its up to you to assure him everything is going to be alright. Firstly, you are an oloshi for not telling im to fire her. I have a long term boyfriend as well, and the minute i dont like the things he does, i tell him immediately and we both alwayss ensure that we do things that builds our trust by taking out dirty trash, that one of us feel insecure or intimidated by. From the beginning you should have told him your issue and all, you shouldnt keep things in away from each other.
AGAIN, I DONT KNOW YOU BUT AS A WOMAN YOU SHould have stood your ground from the begginning. From the beggining of the relationship if you presented yourself as a woman that takes NO crap from any man, like presented urslf like 'the minute you cheat you are out of my life, like u only cheat if u want me to go'- if u had that attitude then he wudnt dare mess up.
My advice is tht u need 2 explain ur issue to him, sit one on one and explain how u feel, then from there u will know what step to take next and if he gets angry,or just give him space, withdraw ur self from him - its not easy but its 4 the best, then u will see if he comes running bk or whether he wants a break.
Goodluck
AISHA

Osy said...

Gbam

Cee_Bill said...

Sweetheart,God's creations are PERFECT!!! Pls take note of that. So thuis brings yu to light that this problem of urs isn't 4rm God! He never created yu dat way! Yu were not born that way! Nope! All these must have built up 4rm the wrong thinz u saw,watched and got exposed to. You had ur options of accepting good or evil but apparently like pple always say-"evil tastes good".this is a simple temptation that you could have overcome. Now with this overview,you should know now that the next step 2 solving this is having the HolySpirit in you(get born again),study d bible.you could talk 2 a minister in your church who will help you with these;as mentioned above...on the other hand,you could send me a mail as I'd like 2 help.
All d best with that...

Anonymous said...

Ure jst a senseless man..infact ur brain is malfunctioning..ure insultin someone wen ure worse! U cannot even spell correctly..instead of insecurity u said insecurerity..foolish goat like u!!!okoro!madmonkey

Uche said...

Aww dear, i say ur man has gone oo.. if he is inlove with you, he will nt keep late nights knowing ure worried at home and will nt get upset when u ask questions...

Anonymous said...

Not to be a wet blanket, but for some reason I think that you've already lost your bf. It's been five whole years! And still nothing. My advice will be for you to confront your boyfriend about the state of your relationship. Give him an ultimatum: marriage or you walk out. His reaction will reveal his true feelings. Try not to make him feel cornered and don't even mention the new PA, make the discussion about the two of you only. PA or no PA you would still have to have had this conversation eventually. Good luck!!!!!

Osy said...

Correct

adah said...

Lol!! Dude ur a yeye fowl!!! Insecurity complex? Like seriously?!! Ur use of english is blindin my eyes.
My dear 5 yrs is not 5 days/months o!!! U need to be firm & know where u stand. Wish u d best!

neke said...

She should just feign pregnancy and get him to propose then few weeks before of after the marraige feign a miscarraige...shikena,you are a woman go figure how that is done!

MAXIMUS™ said...

LMAO @ "she's too beautiful"

In all honesty, for the first time ever, I have nothing to say. How can you compete with someone your refer to as "too beautiful"?

*drops dead laffin*

Anonymous said...

he left his business(which he probably uses to finance you) and came to stay with you in uk for 1year...YIMU...lies please..nigerian business men cannot do that even if you are princess diana..haba

Anonymous said...

Lmaoooooo!! Weyrey!! True sha

Anonymous said...

Right you say ur in your late 20's and he is 35. I honestly think you should have thought of this
1- u proberly met when he was 30-don't you think he as played a bit and needs to get serious
2- u moved in together gave him all the benefits of a house wife and now peps are saying u should get the ring
3- if u get the ring it won't seal the deal, my brother will carrying on playing like he did 3 yrs ago
I could go on but no time the moral of the story is you should have got ur priority checked long time ago before another lady came the work ur well educated brain. I'm sure ull be ok by urself since u've got good qualifications. Only gods advice can help not humans

Beautyo said...

Abeg shut ur mouth! Instead of offerin a solution, u ar critisizing! Nxt tym if u dnt hv any advice to give, just read n pass.

Anonymous said...

Hw can U̶̲̥̅̊ b dating sb 4 5yrs nd him never propose? No b say hm dey pursue money. Seriosly gal, ama say U̶̲̥̅̊ politely confront him nd knw wher U̶̲̥̅̊ stand. D way U̶̲̥̅̊ describe ds gal ehn, i begin 2 wonder hw lil chance U̶̲̥̅̊ gat in d ish!!!!!

Obie said...

Lol @ comments about d calabar babe..5yrs of living with a man who isn't ur husband? Is dis d latest trend? In Nigeria too? Don't even dare drag God into ur case!!..mscheeww

Anonymous said...

As for me i do not think thrz a difference in a relationship and when one is married. marriage does not open a new door. Its not all about beauty, for a man to have been in a relationship with u for like 5yrs now means thrz something he like about you, dont let that go cos he has got a beautiful PA. Men can like anything so thats not a good point. please people you cant tell which relationship is right or not. Men are like melon seeds, you dont know what is inside until its broken. Been married to him doesnt stop him from cheating or even getting a second wife. A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage. let your thinking not ruin your relationship, its absolutely normal for every woman to feel that way. Even if he cheats, he will eventually get tired of her if he truly loves you.Get closer to your man, play your role and be sweeter than ever. Get close to the babe aswell and find out more about her but carefully with your number 6. You know your man and should be able to make a man you have been with do some things to an extent, that is if he truly loves as claimed o! I wish you all the best.

Anonymous said...

Well, your case is a very common case and that's what happens when you don't ask the right questions when you are dating/ before dating. That as well, is the reason why you would live with a man for 5 years and you're still not sure where the relationship is headed.
Start asking the right questions and you'll be better off for it. Follow the link bellow to check out some vital questions you should be asking before / during courtship. cheers

http://babzeazi.blogspot.co.uk/2012/06/some-vital-relationship-questions-you.html

Anonymous said...

Rather u shut ur dumb mouth up..of cus dis a poorly written fiction!

Anonymous said...

Exactly my thought ooooo...

Anonymous said...

Lol Would you do that?!

Anonymous said...

You seem to be ruling out the fact that men are also human

Anonymous said...

WONU: Exactely why are pple alwys commentın on pple's grammar on dıs blog? Its a blog my dear en u dnt expect lında or oda bloggers to start wrıtın dıc englısh cos ı wnt to comment on a blog. Abeg whoeva u are park well jor KMT

Anonymous said...

I have questions 4 u abeg,how long hv u been living wt dis guy?hv.u ever gotten pregnant 4 him?how come @ 35 and u in ur late 20s you are living 2geda and not married?are u sure he loves u?abt the new secretary I dunno what 2 say oh.just help me answer these questions

Anonymous said...

Please look before you leap.....there is more to Love than the 4 letter words
www.naijabreakingnews.blogspot.com

Chloe True talk said...

Y he hasn't married u after 5 years? Y buy the cow when u can get the milk for free?!! D only option left for u at this point is to just ask him if he plans to marry u at any point and if he is having an affair with his P.A? But when u ask tough questions better b ready 4 tough answers. Better now than 5 more wasted years.

Anonymous said...

there is something about u dathe does nt lk but instead of telling u, he is going abt it tht way.a guy came to me two monthsbck telling me that he is willingto leave his ive in girl friend of many years to settle with me but i told him off...please leave him ansd move on, he is not the last man on earth..it is better to have a broken relationship than toend up in marrige very miserable...trust me, God will sort u out

Anonymous said...

WONU: ı just feel dere ıs nuffın paryer cannot do am nt sayın beıng gay ıs gud or bad buh ma vıew ıs dat God cannot make mıstakes en wen he created Adam he shud hv creatd a anoda man ınstead of Eve or creatd two same SEX each. I dnt dıslıke gay pple ı just feel ıts dere way of lıfe. Buh sınce u saıd u dnt lıke ıt just go on ur knees en talk to ur creator he can UNDO all wrongs. Cheers

Miss pepe said...

This story sounds really fake...Biko we r not babies and I personally don't bliv dis shitty story of yours....NEXT...Linda if u like no post

Anonymous said...

Dıs actually makes sense.

Anonymous said...

This story has elements of fact and fiction. That ur "billionare" boyfriend is yet to pop the question after shaggin u steadily for 5yrs and u playin wife most likely means he never planned to spend d rest of his life with u. Men don't usually waste time in taking the women they want to spend the rest of their lives with, off the market.
My advice, cut a block of butter with a hot knife. Confront ur man, his response to u should determine weather or not u shd continue playin house. Goodluck

nina said...

The magic of calabar girls that makes ither nija women inseure is that they are trained to be humble, domesticated, feminine, gentle, non confrontational, good listeners, good mothers, aggreable in bed and other virtues.....all women have the ability to have the so called calabar factor if they possess similar qualities....

Anonymous said...

for everyone saying d story is false, i wonder,d fact dat sometin has not happened to u does not mean it does not happen o....a lot of shit happens out there dat u cant even imagine, this story is more like very real, i ve seen it happen b4 o...now my advice, always check his phone, read his texts, for evidence, pray a lot...if u know her name, call her name while praying,do midnite if u can, it works. he is d type of man any woman would die 4 girl so u ve a lot of work to do.

bolsola said...

@ Stephen; you need to pray really hard. Homosexuality is a great sin in God's sight(which resulted in the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah). God's stance would never change on the matter as he's the same yesterday, today and forever (Heb 13:8). So you really need to seek his face. We are all created by God in his image; with women being created out of men to assume the role of partners (Gen 2:18-25; 5:1&2). The scriptures record that the man & woman were naked and had no shame. Therefore, nobody is born gay and the fact that you are ashamed shows God's disapproval mirrored into your heart as a God-image being. Open your heart to him and he will make a way for you.

As for the girl in the Story:
I'm sure he moved to London for other reasons other than you, do not be misled (probably to pursue business opportunities). I think it's quite obvious your relationship is headed nowhere, that's why he never proposed to/married you. Why should he pay for/bother with marriage when he's getting everything for free? A man with true intentions will never take advantage/use you for that long without doing the right thing. As for living with him; i guess your sojourn abroad really affected your native inclinations. It is not a Nigerian culture to live with a man without marriage; it tends to be more common with the EU/US communities. Hence i am highly surprised at your action. My parents would never have allowed such a thing!

Your concern for your BF is therefore biased as you never had him in the first place, or you lost him a very long time ago (possibly the day you moved in together). God'll provide you with your partner, so you should let him go. If he's the one, he will definitely return to you but ensure you do not repeat the same mistakes even with the next person. God requires us not to defile ourselves before marriage for reasons like this. Keep yourself according to God's word and you'll get the very best. God is not wicked, and gives us rules/regulations for our own benefit. You should thus be closer to him, as he's the only one that can touch your man's heart at this stage. The fact that you are not married puts you at a further disadvantage, as you have no stake to claim. I see no point in confronting him and asking to take your relationship to the next level as this would have happened already; had he harboured the intention from the very beginning. Use this experience as a eye opener to life's issues and understand that this was bound to happen, as the deceit could'nt carry on forever. We should be thankful for God's timing by bringing in the other lady to expose his real self. God in his infinite mercy could be trying to release you to your real soulmate or spare you the heartache of future rejection; as your BF may eventually call off your relationship for the other girl. She seems to be what he wants, since you say he's not the womanising type (despite being disturbed by a myriad of girls). So; for coming out of his shell, i guess he's been waiting for her to come along all the while.

PS: The calabar girl (whose tribe are famously known for their very sexual explorative tendencies), will probably appeal to him because she's fresh and new. She'll definitely pose a welcome challenge to him sexually as well. All those rumours you hear about them (calabar people) are VERY true. I know cos i married one (i'm Yoruba BTW). Cheers.

Anonymous said...

Hey (native) Dr, since u r so sure dz stories r made up by linda, keep avoiding them n dont show up here again with stupid comments like this

spy said...

I agree with u anon 12:20. It sounds like Linda made it up just to make up the news and to keep us busy. Infact the style of writing is soooooooooooooooo Linda.

Anonymous said...

Wen u cohabitate with a man u aint married 2,dnt eva xpet im 2propose cus e won't! e has seen every part of u n every moment wid u, so thrs nufin else 2luk forward 2.. Therfore e won't propose.. Buh pls.dnt tel ur sis anyfin! Its nt ur bisnes.. Family is family anytym! U dnt sel em owt lyk dat.. Jus liv ha n let karma tk its cause..

Anonymous said...

A family friend married a calabar chic 9months after meeting her(she wasnt preg). He dumpd his rlshp of 4.5yrs to marry this chic. Babe, dont take dt chic for granted. U need to let ur guy know how uncomfortable u feel. If he loves u d way uv described, and has regard for d rlshp, he wont do anything stupid. Abt ur rlshp, u need to get him to put a ring on it. Ur man is too relaxd...living wit him isnt helping. U just will hv to get him to put a ring on it...im hoping u r his choice of a wife too.

princess zee said...

Best reply so far...makes lots of sense

princess zee said...

Go for deliverance...oya run there now

Anonymous said...

Hey (native) Dr, since u r so sure dz stories r made up by linda, keep avoiding them n dont show up here again with stupid comments like this

Anonymous said...

Look @ ur mouth like we are nuh yet married buh ve bin livin wt him 4 5yrs...u sure are high,berra make him marry you or make urslf visible to oda guys...#proudlyacallybabe

Anonymous said...

This movie will sell ooo,let Mercy Johnson play d secretary and omoni Oboli d real girlfriend and John Dumelo d billionaire boyfriend...arrant nonsense,ashi ashi,lie lie,#sigh#

Anonymous said...

First of all, what are you doing with a man for 5 years and he is not yours? Why are you living with him? oh yeah, he is getting it regularly, and wife-up with a non wife, thats why he aint gonna propose. You should fear the calabari girl, she will steal your man because he is not married. If he is having drinks with her already, she has begun the process. Your man will even propose to her in months to come. Sit there ooo. ACT right now- Tell your man the truth about you- start with, telling him all the great qualities about you that are worth more than money and how u thought that he was that man that appreciated those qualities and gives God thanks for having you(the best thing ever to happen in is life, becos God blesses us with ppl that will propel us forward), then tell him how you FEEL about him staying at work late, how he makes you Feel by having a female PA. Ya know be smart, put yourself on a high pedal stool pass his money on the fine girl and then remind him of responsibilities to care for you by telling him how he is making you feel bad inside by being away from you and spending time with this more pretty girl. Be real, keep it real, be honest in the way that it will be effective and he will still see the positive in being with you.
And don't sit there for another year without a ring. You have to move out of the man's house. And tell him that you forgot ur values and values are that you don't live with a man who is not your husband. A man who is kind-hearted and caring like yours understands. You are giving it to him too easy. Go find your own place jor.

Chy,

Anonymous said...

Nigeria is filled with a lot of half baked Christians. All the members of the "Pray, Pray hard" party, please how does someone who is living with someone she is not married to - pray. If she walked up to you for advice is that what you would tell her. Would you not ask her to make her way right first, by moving out and then seeking salvation?

Anything goes with half baked knowledge

Anonymous said...

What is wrong with you people sef? Mose dilemmas sound like scripts from movies. They are difficult situations that is why they sound so interesting and sometimes seem unreal.
But this story sha. I believed you up until i saw billionnaire. For some reason, the story didn't just ring so true anymore.
I suggest you tell your boyfriend how you feel. You guys probably fell into a comfortable routine so he's in an exciting situation right now.
GET HIM TO MARRY YOU. IF YOU ARE WORTH IT, HE WOULD.

Anonymous said...

my dear I will advice you to win your guy back. Think of all the things that drive him crazy about you such as the qualities that made him fall for you in the first place and put them on display.

The fact is that there is a possibility he is already having sex with the calabar girl. you can try and make joke with him about how beautiful the girl is and how he is dulling you by not tapping her. Don't interrogate him about the possibility of an affair with his PA cos he will become defensive and deny it.

Aside from my previous point, you can plan dates for the both of you, a weekend getaway, dress as he usually loves, seduce him and give it to him real good and do anyother thing that you think will help.

Hope this helps. Chy

Anonymous said...

Now i know why I am practically the only one who doesnt read your blog! That you have chosen to post this....! SMH

Anonymous said...

my opinion,am so sure ur bf has seen prettier girls dan the calabar babe,if he truly loves u,he will not cheat on u with his pa,dats downgrading and uncalled for from a so called billionaire,u need to also step up ur game like some1 said,dont make him feel as if ur whole life rotate around him,let him feel as if witout u ,his life is meaningless,leave the house,ure nt married and besides its high time u start asking questions,he has everytin,y isnt he proposing,my dear i think ure a perfect option for this guy and nt a priority

Anonymous said...

Girl, u are not sharp! You spent 5 yrs living with someone that has not yet paid your bride price??? how could you? This is the problem I have with all this desperado girls. Living with a guy does not mean he will put a ring on your finger. Doing that, only makes him less pressured to marry you, bcos he feels he already has you.
He does NOT owe you ANYTHING! This means that he has the right to do whatsoever he pleases. He is not married to you and that also means that he has the right to be seeing someone else. Don't blame him for not marrying you, blame yourself for moving in with a man that has not paid your dowry.
There are different options;
getting yourself pregnant by him and that MAY make him put a ring on it really fast. (not advisable, because you might end up hating yourself) OR you can move out of his home and tell him that you no longer want to be living with him unless he makes you a wife. If the rship ends, then just know that he does not love you and was not planning on spending the rest of his life with you.
If it was me, I would move out. Money is not everything, respect and peace of mind is! Also, how are you sure that if he finally marrys you, that he will not be cheating? Now if that happens, what will u do?

Anonymous said...

But why u don't u just start ur own blog tho. Okbye!

LyricalMessiah said...

Your comment makes a lot of sense n its been d best so far...Dont mk him feel like u r desperate period!!

Anonymous said...

Stephen,

Please pray about it very hard and ask God to deliver you. You can also talk to a very close friend/pastor/ sibling about it(choose a confidant and when you feel the urge, call the person and both of you will pray about it together).

Watch what you read,/ watch on TV or movies and songs you listen to.

Lastly, make up your mind to only like people of the opposite sex. It might be difficult at first, but God will help you.

Anonymous said...

I would say u confront him wiv ur fears but before doing that you should pray and ask God for wisdom, ask Him to put the right words in ur might, but really, 5yrs and he isn't talking marriage is worrisome, I knw u love him but I will actually ask u keep ur cards open before u get into that late period and become desperate. Also remember whatever will be will be. You pray and leave God to sort out the end. Cheers

Anonymous said...

Linda....Linda, u don carry super story come from Wale Adenuga. Well sha, if the story is true then, the girl is in third position in the tournament game of fools. Stay for 5yrs doing chop me chop me for guy house without moves on why she is giving her body, spirit & soul to the guy? Now, wey one sharp Calabar girl dey run package u come remember LIB. Pray to God to revive you. #OlaGod#

Me said...

@Stephen, u need to pray, receive Jesus as ur Lord. Homosexual act is a sin according to the Bible. Read this....
Romans 1:18-28 NCV
God’s anger is shown from heaven against all the evil and wrong things people do. By their own evil lives they hide the truth. God shows his anger because some knowledge of him has been made clear to them. Yes, God has shown himself to them. There are things about him that people cannot see—his eternal power and all the things that make him God.

But since the beginning of the world those things have been easy to understand by what God has made. So people have no excuse for the bad things they do. They knew God, but they did not give glory to God or thank him. Their thinking became useless. Their foolish minds were filled with darkness. They said they were wise, but they became fools. They traded the glory of God who lives forever for the worship of idols made to look like earthly people, birds, animals, and snakes.

Because they did these things, God left them and let them go their sinful way, wanting only to do evil. As a result, they became full of sexual sin, using their bodies wrongly with each other. They traded the truth of God for a lie. They worshiped and served what had been created instead of the God who created those things, who should be praised forever. Amen.

Because people did those things, God left them and let them do the shameful things they wanted to do. Women stopped having natural sex and started having sex with other women. In the same way, men stopped having natural sex and began wanting each other. Men did shameful things with other men, and in their bodies they received the punishment for those wrongs.

People did not think it was important to have a true knowledge of God. So God left them and allowed them to have their own worthless thinking and to do things they should not do.

Anonymous said...

Linda....Linda, u don carry super story come from Wale Adenuga. Well sha, if the story is true then, the girl is in third position in the tournament game of fools. Stay for 5yrs doing chop me chop me for guy house without moves on why she is giving her body, spirit & soul to the guy? Now, wey one sharp Calabar girl dey run package u come remember LIB. Pray to God to revive you. #OlaGod#

Unknown said...

5yrs nor be beans,if u got pregnant 4 him early ur kid will be 4 yrs old,just trying to let you know that's a lot of time to loose in your life,but you are the one in the relationship,you know if you are in a messy messy or something serious,but don't get all worked up,just do the right thing and also call him and sit him down,my dear you need to know were you stand? Its either its a yes or a know. Don't be agressive. Take it easy on him,don't yell nor scream,you only do that when you get him in the wrist not elbow,but my dear be sharp and fast,they might not have any intimacy in the long run, Wish you the best.

Sandi said...

Become friends with her darling. If you see her purse or shoes, compliment her on it. Start up small chat like that. Let it lead to you guys going shopping, hanging out type stuff. And stay involved with his life not just at home but in the office too. This way you get to know the level of closeness they have, and you get to show her who's the owner of his heart or his queen. 5 years ain't no joke, she needs to understand that.

But why move in with him when you're not married? He's milking the cow for free so what's the point in buying it?? What reason does he have in marrying you? Afterall you've shown him you're perfectly fine with performing wifely duties without being his wife. So what motivation does he have to marry you?

Anonymous said...

Please come and hook me up ...he would propse to me in 2weeks

Galore said...

You mean you are both in the same house...Leaving togther and not married.....Thats what a girl get when you allow a Man to BANG you for 5 yrs wt no marriage..........desperados!!!!........My calabar girl dey cook Edikan-ikong for am........d food sweet die

GALORE said...

Come
And
Live
And
Be
At
Rest
@@thats what we do for our Men......we make them comfortable........Proudly Cally...........*Ekom doo*...Nittor EFIK kingdom

Anonymous said...

sweetie.. your problem isnt easy and to be honest, this may not end well, it isnt too late to correct some of the mistakes made but atleast you can take the right steps now and clear some of this fog, so you see where this is going or not going.
1) confront him.. nicely..
make his favourite meal, and bring up the topic sofly, tell him your fears, ask him if he would like it if you kept late nights or worked with some hot guy and paid him less attention, tell him a BMW isnt exactly the kind of car you buy as a company car especially if no one else has one in his company. pay attention to how he words his answers and from there ask other questions.

2 move out...yes, move out..tell him that you've given him 5 years of your life and its been wonderful but now you need this to be more than what this is.. so u're going to give him the time and space to decide if he is ready to take things to the next stage(marriage).. he will pick u up from your house to take you on dates and drop you back at home.you need to show him you're not scared of being alone or moving on.

3) drop in at his office unexpected... dont even call to say you are coming, just turn up, come with lunch so he wont suspect you are there to snoop. come at different times for different things on different days of the week.

4) pray, i know this should be first and its the one thing i'm guessing you've done little of, it may be hard to accept, but he may not be the man God has destined for you, so pray and fast, at the end of the day you don't want to end up with the wrong life partner even though he may seem perfect for you now especially if you get through this. take God along with you every step of the way.

deekay said...

Depends on how u say it : an el i b reader or a lib reader .....all join.

deekay said...

Na wa ohhh. Kinda harsh, dont u think? And your mom sef....smh!! Mean ppl! U didn't complain while u were shagging her mchewww. You enjoy fornicating but only if it's on ur terms. Only good thing is u told her where u stood in the beginning, so I guess you're not "all bad ".

deekay said...

Good one.

deekay said...

Hmmmm. This might just be the best comment on this topic. Hope she gets to read this.

Anonymous said...

Linda please i beg you in God's name stop making us waste few minutes of our lives please..

She's been living with him for 5yrs.The girl no get family ni

Anonymous said...

Fake boring story

Anonymous said...

i HATE calabar girls to death. A calabar girl crashed my marriage sometime ago. They are perfect cheaters. I'm planning for an indirect kill(almost done)(if u get what i mean). Firing d bitch wont help cos they'l still keep in touch. Just 'finish her' in d most cruel way#yes i said it#
and i'm going anonymous dis time

Anonymous said...

Lol, so tru! Funny thn is most of d women abusing dis woman may actually b in d same situation bt will jst 1t 2 pretend! If we investigate now u'll c d@ a lot of dem av muvd in n even redecorated n furnished deir bfs' bachelor pad.

Anonymous said...

Godbless u! I dnt knw y ppl jst assume d@ dese stories r fake! Bt dey will kip readn! Plus, r most nollywood muvees not based on wat goes on in d society?

Anonymous said...

Lol, so tru! Funny thn is most of d women abusing dis woman may actually b in d same situation bt will jst 1t 2 pretend! If we investigate now u'll c d@ a lot of dem av muvd in n even redecorated n furnished deir bfs' bachelor pad.

Anonymous said...

One question, why do we abbreviate our words in such a senseless manner? Fair enough there are universal text abbreviations that are widely used all over the world,, but men in Naija we take it to another level!!!!! I mention a few "wen, den, dat, d, av, dose, buh, bin.." absolutely ridiculous. The embarrassing thing is we think its cool when we write like this, but it's not and its only peculiar to naija, a foreigner would stuggle understanding what is written. I mean what's the rationale for substituting "but" with "buh" or "and" with "Nd" ??? If u no fit speak English stick to pigin.

Anonymous said...

He has already proposed to the calabar girl with the BMW which stands for BE MY WIFE. You need to make sure that yeye girl does not take what is yours oh

Anonymous said...

Ewu! U were there correcting som'n else for poor grammar, now u sef don tabohn! 'In American' abi? GBAGAUN

Anonymous said...

all adultery adultery that is what it is stop it.

The super sexy Calabar PA said...

BUHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I'm going to take your man and there is nothing you can do about that "shortie"

Femiluv said...

If this story is true, then I definitely think she should become BFF's with the PA. Keep your friend's close and enemies closer right.

Don't speak to ur man about it, or u'r gonna come across as the bitter partner.

What's with the pray comments? She's living with a dude for crying out. Don't mean to go all judgmental but your current lifestyle isn't in accordance with God's word.

Vivian Hulla said...

Sorry girl but dont you think is rather to late? Beacuse if he has established a relationship with her whether he gets rid of her from the office or not,they will always make out time to see. Too bad you have been in a relationship for 5yrs and the guy hasnt proposed. If he is comfortable as you claim so whats keeping him from getting married to you?. Babe, you are not smart at all. To worsen the whole issue you have been living with him. So you cook for him, serve him and allow you him sleep for you for free all in the name of love? You already assume the duties of a wife so the guy has taken you for granted. What kind of dirty love are you playing? why allow yourself to be used by a man for 5yrs? Eventually he will dump you for another babe. Too bad, you caused all these for yourself and am sure by now the guy knows your weak points and cant get married to you.

Anonymous said...

gbese re you best go apply as his new PA so that women can know he is taken and also have a bottle of acid ready to throw if dem trepass

noble said...

Ur no. 1 problem is that u r living wit a guy that has not paid ur bride price. (2)men like eat one particular thing especially wen the thing is giving free of charger. (3)pls, stay in ur on apartment & look unto God, even if ur guy is cheating on u he ll b tired one day & come back to u pls, don't fight anyone just pray to God.

Anonymous said...

To start with, BMW does make Jeep, instead say BMW SUV. Don't ever interfer with your man's biz and never you ever dictate to him when to sack somebody because of your jealousy. In faact, I will advise you to pretend as if nothing is happening and get closer to the chic by making friends with her. If you try anything nasty, you will lose the guy and the chic will win, after all you are not his wife and do not even know whether his family wiil apporove you as a wife.

Be guided!

Mr. Chase

Anonymous said...

No matter how civilized we may think we are, living with a guy who is not married to you still remains a sin. Tell me which church or culture that will support that idea. So babes, you are on the verge of loosing your bedmate cos thats what he is to you. WHy do you expect him to marry you when you are already living in his house and giving him evrything a wife will give to a husband. I hope you learn your lessons cos this calabar giel ehh, she no go leave ur man alone. BTW this sounds like a nollywood script where a very young guy has all the money, make believe.

Anonymous said...

living with the man is actually not the best thing to do but since the story is like this, i suggest u know ur stand in the relationship, know his intentions for u and i wouldn't want to conclude that living with him for 5years means u've lost your respect or your dignity cos i have a friend who lived with her boyfriend for almost 7yrs and now they are happily married and doing very well and they are the closest couple have ever known. And as for the other girl if you know how to use your power as a woman and ur bf truly loves you...mehn to hell with her beauty,men could be absurdly unpredictable though,and make sure u chase that girl away from him in all ways not just from the office. Girlll go get your man, claim what is yours, 5yrs is not a joke but remember don't nag too much just be logical about the whole thing and always remember you are also a beautiful woman and don't let any other woman's beauty intimidate you.

Anonymous said...

living with the man is actually not the best thing to do but since the story is like this, i suggest u know ur stand in the relationship, know his intentions for u and i wouldn't want to conclude that living with him for 5years means u've lost your respect or your dignity cos i have a friend who lived with her boyfriend for almost 7yrs and now they are happily married and doing very well and they are the closest couple have ever known. And as for the other girl if you know how to use your power as a woman and ur bf truly loves you...mehn to hell with her beauty,men could be absurdly unpredictable though,and make sure u chase that girl away from him in all ways not just from the office. Girlll go get your man, claim what is yours, 5yrs is not a joke but remember don't nag too much just be logical about the whole thing and always remember you are also a beautiful woman and don't let any other woman's beauty intimidate you. Linda pls publish my comment.

Anonymous said...

Sandi's adive no bad at all....never tot of frm dat angle

Anonymous said...

Sandi's advice sorry

Anonymous said...

@anonymous, June 17, 4:43pm: nice write - up but i don't think being close to the girl is the solution,in the world we are today,where sisters, best friends are snatching each other's boyfriends. she doesn't have anything to do with the girl, she has to face her bf and like u said d guy might have stopped loving her a long time ago then now is the time to know the truth by sitting the guy down or she confronts him and i think from the response and action of the guy she will know where she belongs.linda i hope you will publish this

Anonymous said...

I just hope you have not had sex with this so called 'boyfriend' of yours.

Anonymous said...

He's fucking the P.A.

Galore said...

@Linda wher my comments?.....u don start again?....No let me sue u oo.....Am serious!!

Anonymous said...

@Anonymous June 17 2:16pm,ur a complete ode,as ur quick in mentioning chima anyaso's name,u should have been quick to know that he is happily married since last yr sef.ode

Anonymous said...

My dear, itz a pity U lived wit a guy 4 5yrs wit notin 2 show for it. U made a big mistake living wit a guy witout marriage. I'll say dat der is no diff btw U and ur bf's PA(dts if shez on to ur bf). U r both cheap. + I'll also say dt itz nt in my place to judge. Bt my advice is: First, seek forgiveness of sin from God and ask Jesus to come into your life; Second, sit ur bf,tell him U v to leave his house to get yours,U cnt continue living wit him without him paying ur bride price.Ask him 2 repent of his sins and accept Jesus as his Lord and Saviour. Note:Dnt tell him abt his PA yet.U cud stir up a quarrel if u do.U shd knw who u r 2 him(whether a roomate or a wife.If he is interestd in making u his wife, he wil tell u. Third, b firm wit ur decision and carry 'em out.Neva giv room 2 emotions here,use ur brain and do d right thing. Once u'v done d right thing, I beliv every tin will fall in place by it self,den,u'll b able 2 talk abt a PA or even let go if u r sure dat he's sure u r his life companion(wife).
Rmemba,he might nt have a tin for u. U cud jt b his frnd wit benefits. B strong 2 let him go.U won't b stupid or foolish by letting him go. Jt put ur trust in God, he'll get u a man after His(God's) own heart. A man dt will cherish u till death do u path.
All d bst.
*I Pray Linda Post dis* Amen!!!

Ikenna Uchendu said...

Visit 321naija.blogspot.com for music, videos and entertainment updates

monster said...

Finally,I got u...*dancing*...S will soon propose..nice comment..d guy only bought d babe d car cuz dy *lipsealed*

cobinson said...

abeg, i couldnt agree with you more, even b4 i finished the story, i started thinking of HINTS magazine ala M AND B, so linda JCI cobinson says, dig a beta story next time, this smells 100percent of those books

cobinson said...

linda, linda, i gbadun your parole die, chei, nne, e disapint rim wayo with nka, odi onu at all at all. GBAM! d story, oburo nkegi. ibu copicat?

Anonymous said...

Linda baby, wot is the title of this movie?. * sipping heineken*
Deuces

Anonymous said...

If truly it is you miss ashawo calabar girl, leave the man for the woman who has suffered with him oh else, she does not deserve to be treated like shit cos of your greed oh.... else this fish will choke you big time!

Anonymous said...

Am a 30 year old multi-billionaire.. Am looking for a fine ass calabar bitch as P.A.!.

PRES

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