I'm married, my husband is a cheater, I told him pls use condoms and he agrees. I also cheat on him...its 50/50....everyone comes back home, life goes on. All my 3kids are his....we no longer want children....he thinks I'm the best by accepting his cheating attitude. My marriage is sweet, sex perfect, we are rich. I remember last year during our holiday to yankee I caught him sleeping with a white girl in our Miami hotel when I went to drop our kids with my sister. He apologized and as usual I vexed and I forgave him...and as usual I took revenge and I slept with a waiter too. Vengeance is sweet. I'm loving my marriage peeps. He trusts me, he cant catch me. I've spoken, abuse me if u like. I'm happily married.I know someone who's doing this exact thing. He cheats on her, she cheats on him. She says she does it for the kids, that if she wasn't cheating on him too, she would have walked away from the marriage a long time ago. She said the cheating was so much, she was constantly miserable, depressed and had a lot of self-esteem issues. She felt it was her fault until one day she realized it wasn't and paid him back same way. Now she cheats every time she knows for sure that he cheated. And she said her marriage has never been sweeter or her life better.
This can't be the way to go. Or could it? What's your thoughts on this?
96 comments:
No way, two wrongs have never and can never make a right. inside them, they truly know they aint "happily married"
its a sin...so i dont think its right
Well, all I can tell this person is that she should remember the saying," it's a man's world" and especially in Nigeria! So, once he finds out, and he would sooner than later, she is out on the street with nothing!
2 wrongs can't make a right but hey! i dnt blame her.i see myself doing the same thing too. but hopefully i dnt come across an acute cheater of that nature
Dat is one crazy cycle. They both deserve themselves and i wish goodluck. God forbid i find myself in such a situation.
All I can say to Sophia Tchidi is WOW! Did she really say this?She's really bold to wash her dirty laundry in public. I'm sure Tchidi's attitude would have pushed her across the wall. Anyway, e get as the arrangement dey!
Strangely, if one is not looking at it from the religious point of view, it is the perfect cure for divorce. I agree with her because each time I go into a new relationship and it ends in heartbreak, the cure, for me, is usually to immediately get into another relationship. This way, it hurts less. Presently, I caught my fiance cheating and because I have a sugar-daddy alongside, I easily forgave him when he begged. Some may say it's immoral but remember that morality is relative. What is wrong for one person may be right for another.
Its not the best way, but it sure keeps the marriage together as long as she doesn't get caught.if not she will die of heart attack and the man will move on.
I'm sure the same person you know, must be the one who left that comment on your blog. The day her husband finds out he will kick her out, and take another wife shikena....she go become single parent, and those guys she is sleeping with will say goodbye to her...
The hottest part of hell is reserved for her more than her husband. What exactly do you 'moralistic' dimwits call cheating? A man screwing around is natural. Thats how God made it. The African man is a serial polygamist. Modern day restraints more by the hypocritical Western way of life has spoiled evrything. These so-called Westerners try to sink it into the minds of Africans that you have to stick to one woman yet they are yanshing themselves man to man and saying to be gay is ok! Like idiots, African s will follow follow. What do you call cheating, I ask you? Nonsense! We just have millions of women suffering from a psychological disease known as 'is her pussy better than mine?'. As for me, I am going to bang all the women who as much as give me a 'come on' smile and nothing go happen. Oh...by the way, I am single but woe betide the woman who will marry me and still go out to cheat because I am doing it. I will set her toto on fire with Magun. Rubbish!
I also know a few couples that are doing it. They call them open marriages. Personally, i can't do it.
I believe a relationship cannot be healthy or fully satisfying when there is cheating involved. No matter how much the woman cheats on the man as revenge, she is still hurting inside, especially when she is doing it for revenge and not for fun. So I find thos comments silly. Also, it is hard to leave a marriage were a man is cheating because of the love of your kids. its best to pray about it and leave it to God or if you cannot handle it, its best to leave.
A man who continues to cheat on his wive does not respect and love her, so for a woman to do the same back as revenge is deceiving herself. there is still a lot of pain that she is trying to hide.
please if I'm wrong, let me know
This is a NO NO!!!. Not the way to go at all......... Why are they still together? This is so wrong.....WRONG. God forbid i find myself doing this!
This can definitely not be the way. No matter how much the person who's doing the revenge cheating consoles themselves, there'll always be something pinching their mind, making them miserable. Please if it reach like that, and one has to do tit-for-tat cheating in marriage, just walk away. Hmm...
Since Linda took this topic from a Nollywood thread, what about the Nollywood actresses who cheat big time? I live in Lekki and used to live in VGC and my eyes have seen abominable things. Im a married woman by the way. Should I mention names? KHN, SD, MC, IE...or the serial 'runs' actreSses like TD,HA,RS,UJ,OO,RD,BA,GN SO and many loose bitches in Nollywood. I have no iota of respect for these so=called stars.
@anonymous 09:02,
plz its not Tchidi Chikere that wrote this. it's a comment made by another person on a post about her and her hubby
I read this post earlier on today and i was in shock! I thought about it throughout my journey home... back from work, logged on to my computer and i am really happy linda brought it up!
This two individuals are psychologically ill and deserve to be single! If the husband doesnt end up having a love child, one of them will contact an STD and infect the other.
WHAT FILTH!
@anon 9:34pm are you forreall? mehn girls we need to be careful who we get married to. we need to be prayerful and vigilant...hmmn
I think its hilarious how both men and women are so OK with ignoring the issue when a man cheats - but when a woman dishes out the same thing then it becomes ohh women are different from men, oooh women are bitches (mind you it is women calling other women bitches).
Cheating is cheating whether you are male or female (since when do we give men the pass at cheating so that women should sit at home and wait for HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases).
What is good for the goose is good for the gander. If that is how they have decided to live. Live and let live.
I know so many married nigerian women in the US who go out fighting women that their husbands are cheating with - not knowing that their men are out there spending money and begging, crying for these women to be with them. LOL. You sit at home and wait for the diseases oh!
This world was designed by the so called 'white people'(tho I work for them) so that we humans can be monogamous. But in the real sense of it, it is natural for humans to have multiple partners. It is so natural and it is human too. Look back to the Bible, or Quran and there are many instances where prophets of whom we adore today do have multiple partners. Even today, we can trace the news to the Tiger woods media Maradona, to Arnord the Cali governor and so on. If you can get a partner that would agree to it and both side plays safe, then marriage life will be as sweet as honey. Well, the idea of getting married to one person for your entire life is dying off. I am not a married man, but I am successful. I am only scared of hooking up with the wrong woman that will hunt the rest of my life!
Lets judge from the mathematical aspect:
Negative Husband x positive Wife = Negative marriage.
Positive Husband x Negative Wife = Negative marriage.
Negative Husband x Negative Wife = Positive marriage.
The choice is yours ppl!
there is nothing wrong with a woman sleeping around, if men are doing it why can't women do it too
When some people drop their caveman way of reasoning, then this whole marriage issues could drop. I cann't believe someone still address African men as serial polygamists in this 21st century! You can as well drop technology & go live in a cave, hunt animals and feed on live lizards,after all thats how it was 'back in the daayzz' ! You cann't have it both way !
I cann't believe another commentor thinks the woman should be scared of being thrown out on the streets without nothing, in this day & age when women are equally contributing financially or even the very breadwinner of their family ! Where the heck have you been? Did you just drop in from 1950!
Gush ! Quit the excuses & 'back in the days' wimpy talk and focus on the present & discuss rationally, the kids are the ones who bear the brunt of all this at the end of the day.This double standard thing is on the rise among married women who are cheated upon, and most of them are never caught,women have to be the most discreet beings on earth!
AND NO I DON'T SUPPORT CHEATING FROM ANY PARTY, IF YOU HAVE TO CHEAT, REMAIN SINGLE & SLEEP AROUND AS U WANT,THAT WAY U DON'T HURT ANYONE.
You cann't expect women to fold their hands/clap for their husbands while they cheat on them, not for long, all that will soon change in years to come in Nigeria.
These 'back in the days' mentality is what peps most men to lack self-control & think their birthright to cheat. Wake up, its 2011 !
I'm a guy and I want to tell all ladies and women that your looks, being in "love", loyalty, your goodness and all can never stop a man from cheating.
The only thing in the world that can stop a man from cheating is true, genuine love and fear of God...and this exists, take my life as an example...
Being a "fly" single guy in Lagos, I've been in the thick of it. I had a high libido and I couldn't go more than two weeks without being sexual active.
But do you know that right now I've been celibate for about three years. Yes no sex. No masturbation. and I'm not gay. In about a period of 7 months I went from very sexual active to zero, in 2008 till now and I'm still very much attracted to women. How possible is this?
Well the same thing you've been hearing, Jesus. I pray you don't turn off this post because you think these over bearing "born-again" are repulsive. Take a little time for once and read/listen this...
I agree there are fakes everywhere, fake pastors, fake Christians but think about this...Nothing can have a fake without the original existing somewhere. There's nothing like a fake "N2,000" bill...get it?. The reason you have fakes is because the originals do exist.
I didn't come hear to brag because I'll simply miss it the minute I think it's by my power. My sexual impulses are still there, I'm still attracted to pretty, slim and very curvy ladies (yeah that's my spec), but the difference is, the Grace released into my life because of a daily intimate walk with Jesus, the self-control that's been made available to me through the Holy Spirit.
Listen both married and single people, No human being can possibly satisfy all your human emotional and self significance needs and nothing in this imperfect world can ever do that. Look up to Heaven. You can truly live a satisfied and content life despite the trials and imperfections of this world. Only at Jesus' right hand are eternal pleasures forever more.
Now if you truly surrender everything about who you were so you can get to know the Almighty, and you put all your trust in Him, and walk intimately with Him in full obedience...right from courtship into marriage, THERE IS NO WAY ON EARTH and even in Heaven that HE will allow you to have marry the wrong person if you're not yet married...and He can heal your marriage too if you obey and can truly BELIEVE.
If you're unmarried and you have a truly deep relationship with your Maker, you hear from Him steady so there's no way He's going to allow you marry the wrong person!
When I get married, I believe the only relationship my wife may have to compete with is my relationship with Jesus, cause my personal times alone with the Lord are precious and are what keep me going.
But then again without that relationship and my constantly nurturing it, I'm simply like the rest, hidden relationships, browsing the girls and ladies I'm attracted to, being "bored" with my marriage, uncontrolled desires and all the deceits of this world and the devil.
People the REAL thing exists.
Find it in Christ.
People will always try to justify their actions with some retarded idea,
. Revenge is a stupid reason to cheat on a cheater. It stopped being a marriage ages ago. They are practically room mates with benefits. I have no idea what drives people to thinking it is reasonable to cheat. I can only pray I don't fall into such reasoning
People will always try to justify their actions with some retarded idea,
. Revenge is a stupid reason to cheat on a cheater. It stopped being a marriage ages ago. They are practically room mates with benefits. I have no idea what drives people to thinking it is reasonable to cheat. I can only pray I don't fall into such reasoning
This is one of the most crazy things i have read on this blog and mind you they both deserve themselves. I wounder who would be the 1st to bring in STD and design themselves with it. They would both die if they do not change their evil ways or did they think that their children don't know what they are doing let them not be deceived as the children would do exactly the same as their parents since their parents did not see anything wrong in it.
Where the hell are we heading ehh what a lot of crap!! Linda beware please don't ever try this when you are married and confronted with something like this okay my 20 kobo advise!!!
Shiiiii....its wateva meng LOl.... Wateva works lol
This is definitely not the way out of this issue..I bet they are not happy with their marriage..they are just trying to console each other..
The only person that is truly happy in that situation is the husband (and i guess all those guys that the wife is sharing her body with). If she were really feeling fulfilled by her revenge cheating- she would just be cheating. As it stands she's only cheating to "get back" at the husband and that kind of activity is bred out of sadness, anger, and desperation to regain control.
99.9% of men cheat..pscssheeeeeww.
God bless those who do not cheat:)
Silly chicks thinking their man is faithful..urgh!
Its wrong, like totally wrong.
Anywayz Linda check out the Beyonce Fela inspired video for Run the world (girls) on her vevo channel.
Girl the african dance at the start is damn swaggerlicious, its Epic, massively amazing video
Fiercely!
@ Anonymous May 18, 2011 9:34 PM you are such a fool and it is disgusting that men like you still exist...no sweetie Hell is made for the likes of you!..So you can dish it out but you can't take it? I feel terrible for any woman who is desperate enough to marry a pussy made bitch like you...You have serious low self esteem that is why you have to prove your manhood by sleeping around you dog!...
@anon 9:34,you're an idiet pshew,@rare poster God Bless you,*kisses on your cheek*for that comment
Hell NO! There's no way it makes any atom of sense.. this is marriage for crying out LOUD,not a freaking child's play.. i really hope its piece of fiction..
@Rare poster GOD bless you! U took d words out of my mouth, NO u did a better job.again GOD BLESS U!
most Nigerians r hypocrites,most of d people who ve thrown stones at sophia are doing d same thing,i know Sophia personally n i know she was doing runs when i met her n i was shocked when i found out she was married with 2 kids,but then i stopped judging her when i met her husband,tchidi is a dog,i personally know a couple of my friends hez been with,he sleeps with actresses promising to make them stars,n guess what he doesnt strap on like his wife warned him,i am not married but i know from being in relationships that d only thing that cures anger n disappointment from a cheating partner is vengance,if i get married and my husband cheats on him,we wont fight or quarell about it,i would nicely find myself a hot dude who can please me too,basically its called an open marriage,will smith n jada pinket r in an open marriage n they r happy,why should it be a man's world?GOD dint create Adam and Eve n Eva,he gave Adam one woman.didnt God know Adam was a man?i think if women give their men a dose of their own medicine they would calm down on their loose pants...cheat on me ,i cheat on u,throw me out,doesnt matter coz i would ve ma own money anyways,the era of being a housewife or a kept woman is 2000 n late,if women r independent n can stand their own d men would think twice about their actions.mscheeew
I AM MARRIED AND I AM VERY BUSTY WITH A BIG BEHIND. I FOUND OUT WOMEN LIKE ME IF WE DO NOT CONTROL WHAT WE WEAR,MEN OUTSIDE(AFRICAN MEN ESPECIALLY) WILL MAKE PASSES AT US AND TEMPT US. I CAN NEVER CHEAT BUT I HAVE A FRIEND SAME SIZE LIKE ME THAT CHEATS CAUSE HER HUBBY CHEATS ON HER LIKE SHE SAID.MEN SEE HER AND CANT TAKE AWAY THEIR EYES BUT SHE THINKS OF WHAT THE HUBBY DOES WITH THE HOUSEMAID ONE DAY SHE CAUGHT THEM PANTS DOWN AND SHE GIVES IN TO SOME HUNK DUDES SHE SAYS TO ME.HER HUSBAND ISNT AWARE THO EXCEPT ME THAT SHE TOLD.SHE SAID SHE FORGIVES HIM WHENEVER SHE CHEATS.
Rare Poster....You said it all!
I'm married...and i can vouch 1000% that my husband has and will most probably never cheat on me.
I consider myself very lucky...why God would look at me -- my past life and give me such a man. But i did ask for that spec exactly. I have managed 2 bars in VI and i see what men do,,,and i asked God specifically not give me such men i see on the streets, in the club and all.
I have to say that sometimes.,,,he can be boring...he's usually work, home, food, laptop, xbox (we play together) as opposed to me who is...music, club, dance, groove, outside outside...
But i thank God. I would like to plead with ladies to shine your eye very well before marriage to avoid such situation. There are many good brothers looking...just that you will have to look very well.
I said I won't comment on ur blog again, but can't resist this post. I doubt the victims here (the women) are truly happy. U can fool others but not urself. No marriage is ever perfect, trust me. I'm married to a loving husband, but it ain't no bed of roses, anyone that tells u otherwise is a big fat liar.
Rareposter did justice to this one, u're so right on point. To the victims, the answer is in the Bible...the book of life.
http://therealworld-therealworld.blogspot.com/
@rare poster,was actually looking for a nice way to say all that without sounding 'too spiritual',i just hope that we all will have a deeper relationship with God,then all these crap would be avoided and dealt with.i have friends who ring it into my head everyday that i wld NEVER find a guy who wouldnt cheat,but mehn,Fela Durotoye no be man?Pastor Sam Adeyemi no be man?
Two wrongs can't make a right, period!
Marvel
@Dith, thank you for dishing it out on "Anonymous May 18, 2011 9:34 PM"! I was like wth??! Is he for real??
@Rare poster, God bless you on your walk of celibacy till you get married.
My response to this post is as obvious as the question itself, their marriage is doomed. This is the reason i subscribe to divorce once a partner cheats and the other finds out and CAN"T get past it, WALK! Take a hike before you ruin your life and someone else's..
No, like seriously... Can we like get married already??! *blushing real hard*
P.S. Linda, perhaps you wana play Cupid? I promise to make you my Maid of Honor!
@rare poster, i've been a born again christian since i was 16. I married my husband as a virgin at 24. Twelve years into our marriage, he still cheats on me. And he is an evangelist. Christianity has nothing to do with this biko. Men cheat because it is in their nature to cheat. End of
@ Anon May 18, 2011 9:34 PM you stupid small sha!. Is that what your holy book tells you. Fornication is fornication be it a man or woman. Take bribery and theft for example, because it has become a norm in some parts of the world does not make it right or less of a sin.
@ Mrs O, Christianity has NOTHING to do with it...Don't be deceived.
The heart and the spirit is the Koko....anyone that claim to be a christian...but a true christian is the one who studies the Word and OBEYS! anything short of that is story.
So you better be asking yourself if your husband is truly truly saved. Read 1 Timothy 3
Qualifications for Overseers and Deacons
1 Here is a trustworthy saying: Whoever aspires to be an overseer desires a noble task. 2 Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, 3 not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. 4 He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full[a] respect. 5 (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?) 6 He must not be a recent convert, or he may become conceited and fall under the same judgment as the devil. 7 He must also have a good reputation with outsiders, so that he will not fall into disgrace and into the devil’s trap.
Thats the truth....anything short is story.
I am with you Rare Poster. The Grace of God is enough for us. Having an intimate relationship with Him is the only key. That others are doing it does not make it right. Fornication and adlutery are still sins
@Mrs. O, I'm sorry your husband as an 'evangelist' still cheats on you. Contrary to your notion that christianity has nothing to do with being faithful, you couldn't be more wrong mhen.
I'm a 25-year-old female and I will not settle for that which my Father in Heaven has not prepared for me. It's a simple rule actually... A man that fears God, his Maker, the Creator of the universe will not cheat on his wife. PERIOD!!!! I say fear God, and everything else will follow, and this same rule applies to women too.
Good for you that you have been saved since you were 16. But ask yourself this... Did you really wait to hear from God when you married your husband? Were you certain within your heart and soul that that you followed God's will for your life? I don't know jare, before I start sounding like a preacher. And please, I'm not judging, attacking or condemning you or your marriage.
It just sucks that you think christianity has nothing to do with this. Like I said, A MAN THAT LOVES AND FEARS GOD WILL NOT CHEAT.
P.S. I'm still in love with Rare Poster o!
Linda have you heared?
" HEAD OF THE INTERNATIONAL MONETARY FUND RESIGNS AS HE WAS ARRESTED IN A NEW YORK HOTEL FOR RAPE"
MEN ARE FUCKING DOGS!
@ May 18, 2011 9:34 PM
That senseless comment of yours def is a joke abi?
I feel like seeing you, tieing you to a tree and smacking you.. note my word "smacking" i use that word because it is only used for kids.. your are mature in age but your brain needs to be washed with thick bleach. Foolish boy!
And PS , when you get HIV, make sure you come here and share you story! Silly! it is natural for men to cheat my big round ass!
i was caught cheating recently and i really felt bad about it . My girl friend called me and whispered "when would you stop cheating " ..words couldn't come out ..... i really don't support pips cheating but i wont say its right or wrong for any 1 to cheat . 2 wrongs don't make a right and the thought of her cheating just to payback is just SAD !!!
i got this off a friends FB status "personally, i pray God gives me a faithful husband...but if he is unfaithful ... i pray he is respectful n would never embarrass me with his infidelity " ....i think this is better than d 2 parties going on a shagging spree
@ Anon 1.00am, you are actually the one in the dark and read a lot of magazin. I wrote the comment about being thrown out on the street and yes, in Nigeria, we women were not built to be financially and emotionally independent and that is a fact. All this feminist crap you are writing na story. And do you know the truth, here in the US, a couple of friends of mine who are not Nigerians say they want to marry Nigerian men because the take care of their women.Point is, like I said before, she will be out on the street on her arse with nada!
@mrs O
Ur hubby is one of d fake christians around looking 4 who 2 deceive & u shld know dis if u truly r a chriatian. Ur hubby is nt past redemption unless u have given up on ur maker who loves u more dan life itself
@Anon 9.34
A man screwing arund is nt natural & dat is nt how God made it, so dnt even try 2 justify ur disgusting actions & opinion. Screw arund all u like after all its ur life bt rem dat wat comes arund goes arund.
@rare poster God bless you for that comment. most of my friends keep telling me that i can never find a guy that wouldnt cheat on me. i have always known that if your life is hidden in Jesus, any man that marries you must first go through jesus christ to get to you. i know and believe that faithful guys exists my dad is an example i can vouch for him! i tell you.
@Erm .. i don't think @mrs O is wrong ...even if d marriage is blessed by God ...it doesn't mean there wont be trails (husband treating etc ) its how it is handled that matters
Abegi!!! ... everybody wants 2 believe their father is faithful ......**yimu**... ask ur mother n she will tell u what she has been through !! life isnt always written in black n white .
in Nigeria its at the funeral you actually know how many kids a man has .....
@ANONYMOUS 10.23PM
RE: Should I mention names? KHN, SD, MC, IE...or the serial 'runs' actreSses like TD,HA,RS,UJ,OO,RD,BA,GN SO and many loose bitches in Nollywood.
I CAN GUESS SOME OF THESE INITIALS O!!! You mean these so-called celebrities cheat? I'm really shocked at KHN sha o, behind the plenty innocent smile...
Fascinating!! I gues you get what you put out. How can anyone say each partner sleeping around is fine. Why get married?. To say the husband can use a condom........my question is would he. Sometimes maybe but I doubt if all the time. Shame what some women would tolerate for the sake of money. Might as well be a prostitute at least they call it what it is. Now I understand the high prevalence of HIV in Nigeria now.
Look like every other thing in the world, women cant beat men at it. The only thing a woman can beat a man at is childbearing (this is because nature has made even the average man a competitive being by nature). Shikenah. so for this lady to say she wants to keep up with her man is just a load of bull. There are underlying things here that she isnt telling us.And really they can divorce or have and open marriage if its taht bad. havent they heard of swingers? but make dem do am for obodo oyibo o cos naija as a society isnt that open. theres nothing more i can say on this sha...the end justifies the means i guess. who am i to judge her or her husband when they didnt come to me for advice? REAL TALK
This is just the hard truth. It is also what happens when the love and fear of God is removed from the marriage.The head of the home is fully to be blamed!!!
And it IS rampant especially in a country like Nigeria where double standards and blatant hypocrisy prevail. Its a matter of clean chop mouth and continue their holier than thouism..
I always find it extraordinary that it is assumed that women are the sole upholders of virtue, to be placed on a pedestal and remain unsullied by the hands of a man or men. Well they surely can do it, and have done it, and have varied sexual appetities just as much as men do.All this talk of men being so sexual so helpless that they must be unfaithful is crap as women have the same needs! If they can control it,why cant the man?
Selfcontrol is innate in every adult!!
If our society accepts that men can cheat so shamelessly and in the same breath look at divorced women with a'funny way' e get as e be! Does anyone really think it wont hurt the woman?? It hurts and such hurts manifests itself in such women in so many ways..they seek comfort and reassurance in places they shouldnt!!
Faithfulness should be from both spouses else why get married??
It's all downhill when morality, self control and spirituality is removed from the topic of sexual relationships..
I pray for more faithful and truly God fearing marriages to stand the test of time. Cus marriage is meant to be a blessing!!!
Mena
http://efemenaoreoluwa.blogspot.com/2011/05/bullying-and-bulliespart-1.html
Rare Poster, there are lots of men out there like you. The men that say we should accept cheating as a man's nature are the weak ones that have 0 self-control. Ladies, sorry to say but you speak from YOUR experience. How are you going to sit and generalize all men? All men cheat, really? Have you been with all men? You married a man that cheats, I really empathize with you but that does not mean all men cheat. Don't be fooled by the "I am a pastor" label or the "eye-service" that some people do. Look at their true character. Every person that has been cheated on can look back and see some traits that point to the possibility of their partner cheating.
Just because you were cheated on or just because you are a chronic cheat does not make it a universal thing. Its unfortunate that educated people like Dr. Chinedu DDS can come on here and spew such archaic nonsense (it is the white man that designed monogamy? Chinedu where did you get your DDS training biko?)
Seek God's grace, that does not mean you will not be tempted but it means you can fight the temptation. If you believe in something else then try and control your self. Do you eat everything that is placed in front of you? No, because you will get fat and/or die of a disease from your overeating. Same thing, you do not pounce one every opportunity that presents itself to you.
I prescribe to the Bible and It says a man and his wife. There is a reason why it is one man, one wife. The beaucoup tales of scorned lovers, both the rightful lover and the mistress or mister (what do we call the male sidepiece) shows that most of us are not equipped to share our lovers.
Ladies o, there are good men out here...I am sorry that you married a cheat but don't project your experience onto everyone else. To the guys that cheat, just because you can not keep it zipped does not mean there are men that don't act like dogs.
This is a very good topic, am a married woman for over 20yrs and my hussy has cheated on me for uncountable times, am not happy with him but he thinks everything is okay, l do not love him like l use to,am not financially balance l would have moved on with my life. sex with him is not very good but l still as him for it sometimes just to satisfy myself or masturbate sometimes. Am tempted to sleep with other guys, l still find it hard to believe my childhood love will go this way, l uses to believe he was the love of my life. Am almost 40yrs old l want enjoy myself before is late.
i.hate.it.am.a.christain.makes.no.sense.to.me.chi.germam
@LINDA THIS IS VERY WRONG, WHY WOULD YOU USE MY COMMENT AS A POST......THIS IS BAD HABA!!!!
FOR ALL OF YOU TALKING, ITS NOT AN OPEN MARRIAGE, WE ARE HAPPILY MARRIED......MIND YOUR BUSINESS
madam we should mind our business abi?since u n ur husband already know wht ur doing is extremely shameful and stupid,not that i blame you,but i wonder what values youteach your children.
Anonymous 2.48 - we should mind our business? lollllllllllllllll!!!!!!!!! I'm sorry but i'm laughing so hard i'm rolling on the floor. You made it everyone's business when you chose to wash your laundry out in the open, so suck it up and move on!
Ify - abeg read before you comment - the post was not about Sophia! but you've already managed in one breath to call her a runs girl etc. Na real wa.
@Ify and Rare Poster: I dey una two in certain ways.
I personally don't subscribe to physical and emotional abuse and I believe once a partner cheats and one can get past it, it's time to QUIT and move on.
My self-esteem ain't that low for me to stick around and suffer.
Ladies need to work for their money 'cause that's the power most men have over them.
"Leave the marriage and you'll be broke for life".
CONDOM DOES NOT PROTECT ONE FROM AIDS, HIV AND ALL OTHER STDs- Please tell these stupid folks. 2 wrongs makes nothing right.
I have a feeling Rare Poster goes to My church (Christ Embassy) judging from what he wrote...Thats the spirit bro. keep it up.
DEN watt is marriage made 4. i wonder watt life will be in de next 50 yrs, if parents & married people re freely living dis way, d most annoyin part is telling themselves these lies
1- i cant help it, i have to cheat
2- my marriage is better cos i cheat after he cheats.
3- i cheat to save my marriage.
wat lies, the earlier they fetch the truth strike it hard on the head and never go back to the rubbish(cheating) the better for their children
Mr Rare poster, i love your sincerity God bless you and may God bless me with a genuine heart for God so that there would not be drama here and there
Use your Imagination to protect yourselves!
Make una dey mix juices from different partners dey deceive una self.
The mouths you kiss have been places, poluted with viruses - you can catch all sorts by kissing - grow up.
Condom no dey protect from giving heads people. Chlamydia and other nasty infections can be transmitted via sucking the same mouth that has visited the 'evil diseased and infected forest'.
That is extended swinging and proper sodom and gomorah. Make una no make God vex eeeh.
He is a Holy God but there is a limit. Not everyone gets the loong rope and second and third chances.
Not every sick person gets cured supernaturally or by medication. some of them dey go eeeh.
Dont be deceived and think enjoyment comes from cheating back???
Anything that never TRULY satisfies is a trap and calls for wisdom which is why you have over eaters and therefore Obese and over-sexers, players and playeresses.
Una shine una eyes eeeh.
Yes I don add some words to the dictionary but point made!!!
there are many factors to this thing. first thing that crossed my mind - let's lay aside right or wrong, fact is that if this woman's husband catches her, he will instantly forget how she has been forgiving him. its the fact of life not a defense of men.
secondly, i salute rare poster.
3rdly, mrs o - christianity has everything to do with it. Evangelist is man's title, i hope u know that. And u yourself being a born again christian, u jumped the gun and u know it. God might not have given you that husband of yours and even if he did, by default, that doesn't mean that it's acceptable - it just means that ur husband has refused to deal with something that should be dealt with. A lot of times, christians like to say - well what can i do about it, its the flesh.
lastly two wrongs do not make one right and most importantly, honor God in all your actions and cheating (even if u are pushed to it) dishonors him.
Thank you.
Most women are vulnerable and would not cheat without a reason. This woman obviously feels that this is the best way she can handle the heart break her husband dishes out. There are other ways obviously but sometimes, its best not to judge people in her situation.
for those holy-than-thou sanctimonious-people taking a shot at mrs O. keep your freaking gutter mouths SHUT!
agree with the commentator MENA UDOKO, as for the IDIOTIC anons that says he would set her toto on fire with magun....YOU ARE A BLOODY FOOL! It hurts huh?
well, to such couples, i wish them good luck because the law of karma would come calling someday and YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN ON JUDGMENT DAY, so why take phensic for someone else headache?
REVENGE IS BEST WHEN SERVED COLD! IN A WAY IT SERVES MEN RIGHT FOR TAKEN IT FOR GRANTED THAT WE CAN CHEAT AND GET AWAY WITH IT!
There are many mistresses talking here from comments i had read, and for the writer of this comment telling Linda that it was wrong of her to use your comment as a post, you should know that you don't bring an ant infested wood into the house and expect that Lizards would not follow to make a feast from it!
this is all very scary especially for unmarried women like me who still harbor hopes of finding a guy who wont cheat. Especially since I'm keeping my virginity for my husband.
@rare poser thumbs up!
ok first off to that ignorant person saying those who think their fathers have never cheated on their mothers are deceived (yimu)....
LOl eya I'm guessing your father cheated on your mom so now you think everyone's father is like yours??? That's really ignorant!
I can sit here and tell you that my father has never ever cheated on my mom and he does not have any nonsense child outside of wedlock! You should see how my dad treats my mom! Like a QUEEN!
I judge every guy that approaches me by my dad's standard which is why I say I doubt I will ever get married because all this boys nowadays are yeye people. My dad treats my mom like a QUEEN that she is and wow you should see! lmao and no my papa never cheat on my mama and my mama treats my papa with so much respect. In fact you should see how my dad treats I and my siblings too!
So sorry ehn, my own papa never cheat on my mama. Is it BEANS??? lol
P.S My dad is a pastor :)
The most genuine solution here is from rare poster...yaah !
All this marriage talk is beginning to scare me lik crazy.
Dear Lord, lead us all the way thru !
IB please DO NOT EVER vouch for any one. There is an Ibo saying that you can only vouch for the baby in your tummy and never for the one you are carrying on your back.
My sister's has a friend whose husband works 9-5pm, trusts him as she said. He leaves for work at the right time and is back home at exactly the right minus PH traffic time. However he cheats on her during office hours. How do I know? Caught redhanded twice with his girl at a supermarket. Not my sister's business to tell his wife, can't be guilty of breaking another person's marriage.
My family are family friends with the wife of the pastor banker who had children outside marriage. She could swear he would never look at any other woman outside but we all knew he was a dog, but who could tell her? Unfortunately she found out in the worst way.
I pray you do not get the shock of life when you find out things that men get up to. God have mercy on us in Jesus name
Before nko? who go say im mama soup no sweet ehn? ANONS MAY 19TH 11:03a.m
it's people like you that get so heart broken when the scales fall from your eyes and would get nervous break-down.
pastor ni, pastor ko? ur mama tell you anything? such holiest -than-thou attitude pisses me off! mschewww...why won't you treat you all as queen and princeses when you feed fat on the tithe and offerings of brainwashed congregation! *double hiss*
@ Anon May 18, 2011 9:34 Pm.u re a big FOOL i don't knw people like u still exist.pls if anyone see him on the way shot him twice.
This is Anon 9.34pm May 18th. Those of you insulting my comments, una father! Let me tell you some more home truths; sleeping around, sowing wild or tamed oats, philandering etc is all part of human nature. Is it the man who 'cheats' as you call it(rubbish term, if you ask me) who is the problem or the women out there opening their legs for him? This is the cold hard truth y'all; variety is the spice of life. Man will never stick to one pussy, no matter what. He will do it in secret and all you pastors and pastors wives and daughters can take that to the cleaners. If only you knew what that Pastor does in his sepulchre after yourv morning devotions, you will cringe! While not sounding vulgar, let me give y'all a simple analysis of a woman's 'thing', as it relates to men (and you should thank me for this because not many men will be bold enough to 'open up' to you this way): what drives men to look outside their marriages or girlfriends is the adventurism in sex. A 'good' wife may become a monotonous sexual partner somewhere in the marriage and a man's primitive 'cave man' urges will begin to play up. At that point, he wants VARIETY and it doesn't matter if that variety comes with only one woman. He just has to 'do the do'. After that 'do', its up to him if he wants to continue with that woman or with more women or to stop. But a line has been crossed. Some with consciences( I beg make I hear word!) will go back to their wives and girlfriends and form 'good boy', like some of all these Pastors children and wives have been commenting. ( Oh, by the way, 'Rare Poster', nice one, you liar! I know your types; forming good boy when the church sisters are in between your sheets! Na una full church pass...and the easiest women to 'do' are in churches because no one dey fear God again. Its hard to get into a muslim lady's pant, I swear. But so-called church sisters, as long as you form good boy and are in a quiet corner, they all come running for your dick) Where was I ? Ehen, this is no chauvinism, in case you ladies are thinking so. This is REALITY. And those of you 'pleading the Blood of Jesus' and other sanctimonious stuff you scream as born-agains, I ask you, why would a true born again sister or brother visit Linda's page and begin to comment on worldly things? Una nor know christian blogs to visit? I am a Christian myself but I am a realist too. God forgives us all our sins but he expects those who pretend to be holy to be wholly holy! Una go say I have a problem; una get una mouth I get my dick, abi? Y'all self-righteous pharisees will watch all the raunchy music videos, even as Christians, with your kids too, and dress in worldly attires, cleavages and all and expect your man to be faithful to you when other women are dressing the same way like you? Rubbish. Word of advice: your husband or boyfriend's dick has an expiry date in your toto before it goes to another shelf. The libido of man can never be contained. Ogbono soup and okro are slimy but they are never the same, how dem sweet is up to the taster. I can give you all more tips on the 'sexual psyche of a man' and I will too..if Linda posts this. And you should post this Linda, whether you are appalled or not. It will help you as a single lady searching for the right man..wait sef...you know na..you had an 'inspirational' experience if I remember right? Cheers
arrant nonsense na the man i blame. sebi na cheating she no like abi, he should marry all of them the traditional way. if all of them are wives it will no longer be cheating...cantakerous insolence
There's nothing like "Men r polygamous by nature". Cheating is a ting of GREED n both the men n women r guilty of it.
Cheating is just like wanting to taste all the bottled water that has ever been made cos u have a feeling that at some point one will taste different cos of the bottle's design. But unfortunately, it never does n u keep tasting n keep getting disappointed till someday u return to reconcile with ur tap water at home and live the rest of ur life regretting ur act of FOOLISHNESS.
So, they're both living a life of FOOOOOOOOLISHNESSSSSSSS!!!
For Anon 10:51a.m May 20th-----Now that you finished writing your lazy excuses for cheating or possible cheating, now let me give you the real truth. Are you ready? Here it goes......The dick you have came from someone. That someone knows how to use it. Now because AIDS, HIV,STDS ARE REAL!, He has put skills in place to help you handle your prick when it dey itch you to go taste any women that give you a chance. His name is God. Na him hold the manual to what to do with your dick. I didn't say read bible ooo. I said go ask the owner, the provider of your amu(dick) what to do when your prick is itching. He knows it will itch. He didn't give you Men what you can not handle. Cheating is just being plain lazy. That's the easiest way out for you Men. Make una face God. I fear for una ooo. Una Men dey difance towards your creator. You Men think say na only una God give task? Men just going around doing lazy work and giving excuses. Do you men think your creator is fool or what? You better be careful with all these BS excuses you wrote.
@Anon May 20 4:38
Thank you so much for taking the words out of my mouth.
For those who keep saying that polygamy and cheating is inbuilt in men, please answer truthfully - how will God judge you? Will He judge men differently from women? Will He excuse your cheating because 'you were made that way'?
If that's what you believe, good luck to you...carry on!
And as for those who use the excuse, 'I'm staying for the children', please stop fooling yourself! If you want to stay in a marriage for whatever reason - societal pressure, lack of financial independence, shame, hypocrisy, 'love' then please stay but don't use children as an excuse.
Children are more resilient than we think; they'd rather have happiness than unhappiness and they can cope with most things. A lot of adults you see today are damaged children walking around damaging others because of the skewered view of marriage that they grew up having - miserable parents 'staying together' for them. The children did not ask for this so don't use them as an excuse - your fake, hypocritical and miserable marriage cannot make a well-turned out child.
Stay if you want to stay but don't use your children as an excuse!
@ Rare Poster: God will bless you abundantly......3 years!...wow...God will bless you. By God's grace you will continue to be the salt that this evil world needs. What an inspirational and uplifting post. Very rare. Oh have i said God will bless you :)
Where exactly did Sophia Tchidi Chikere say this because I read her recent interview and while she did hint at some things... I saw nowhere that she actually said these things posted here verbatim. Where's the source? We really don't need any more NFC type revelations.
Rare Poster please I gbadun your vibes and values. I am a single christian sister and I am interested in knowing you, if you are interested my e-mail is omoooba@gmail.com
YEAH! SEE TOASTING LEVELS! ANONYMOUS DON EXPOSE HERSELF BECAUSE SHE DEY LOOK FOR VIRGIN MAN! I BEG! THERE IS MORE TO MARRIAGE O! EVEN IF HE SAYS SO {PLEASE DON'T BELIEVE ALL WHAT YOU READ IN BLOG-COMMENTS!} WHY EXPOSE YOURSELF ANONYMOUS?
A MAN MIGHT NOT CHEAT BEFORE MARRIAGE BUT CAN DO AFTER IT DUE TO MANY REASONS: PASTORS ARE NOT LEFT OUT! SO BE CAREFUL SISTERS, MARRIAGE INVOLVES A LOT APART FROM SEX-INFIDELITY!
TO THE POPULAR ANONS OF MAGUN, I THROAWAY SALUTE FOR YOU, *OYA SEE MY YANSH COME DO NOW*..MSCHEW! AIDS IS REAL YOU HEAR?
Rare Poster said IT ALL! Jesus is the WAY! the TRUTH and LIFE!
What a terribly flithy world we live in!
God is our only saving grace! TURN TO HIM NOWWWW!
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