Dear LIB readers: I found out after I married my wife that she had a son | Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog

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Saturday, 25 July 2015

Dear LIB readers: I found out after I married my wife that she had a son

From a male LIB reader
I married my wife after dating her for a year and a half and she felt the need to hide the fact that she has an 11 year old son, a son she had in secondary school. She only told me after she gave birth to our first child. She showed me his pictures and said she wanted to come clean. The boy lives with his father's relatives and has never lived with her. All the years we have been together, I never saw the boy. She hid the fact that she was a mum from everyone, even me. I feel betrayed. If I'd known she had a son, would it have made a difference? To be honest I don't know but it's hard to trust her as I don't know what other secrets she's hiding. I've moved out of the house temporary to get my thoughts together. What should I do? What would you do?

181 comments:

Davido's driver said...

Too bad

Unknown said...

Hmmm

Elixir said...

Hmmmmm... forgive her but not now. She no try at all.

AbokiDaWarriBoy said...

Pheww, I can't trust that woman anymore after hiding such deep secret, well take ur time $ have a rethink, but all in all forgiveness is very crucial,cus even God forgives!

Unknown said...

Dats wat some Desperate girls do if They want to Settled down

Anonymous said...

She will kill you one day... you better divorce her

Anonymous said...

Go back to your home...
Dis your matter no get head
Go home, she will apologize to you

nnukwunwanyi said...

Go back home,she is a good woman and was just scared u would leave her if she told u before marriage.....

Unknown said...

This is not a big deal....just forgive her and I'm sure that if she had told u abt her son, u wouldn't have married her. U give excuses abt how wide her p***y is. Or u call her 2nd hand. Chill.

Lady C said...

But at least she came out clean not DAT u found out urself,so u nid to forgive her.

Unknown said...

Forgive her n move on,it will difficult to trust her but marriage us for better or worst

Anonymous said...

Ogbeni return home. Wat u shd ask is dis, what would she do if d tables were turned around? I bet she'll stay. In btw- if u divorce her who says d next woman wil giv u peace? Nt supporting ur wife bt lik a yoruba adage says' ori bibe ko ni ogun ori fifo' i.e when u have an headache, cutting off ur head is nt a solution.

Unknown said...

Running away won't solve d issue face ur fears as a man and go home talk it out and move on we ve some issues going on in life so just be grateful u ve a child and a step one to think about

seyi crown said...

Am sure she's scared, do u knw how many relationship she as lost jst bcos she as a son. Sure she love. Settle it wit her plsssss

Anonymous said...

Just forgive her she is mad but I guess she was cear of loseing you.

Unknown said...

Hmmmmm it's a tough one,but jst tak tins easy with her,I think she was afraid to let u knw be4...jst tak it easy with ur decision



....Love@linda

BONARIO NNAGS said...

Phew! Nawao this is one huge issue, how could she have hidden such from you.
I quite understand how you feel, it will be very difficult to trust such woman again.
Please find a place in your heart to forgive.

~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA LUMIA

hrm paul ojeih said...

Yeah she did mess up, she nevr should have done dat.i don't really know if u can trust her again but common dude show me who doesn't have a skeleton in their cupboard.she owes u a major apology but common men bury the hatchet

Unknown said...

Keep calm Jesus is lord

Anonymous said...

Abeg go back to your wife! Forgive her, she would do the same for you.

Unknown said...

I understand how u feel but supposing ur wife had told u she is got a son probably u wouldn't ve accept to marry her or if ever u over looked it and accepts maybe ur family wouldn't have so in order not to loose u I guess that was why she kept it a secret then for you not finding trust in her anymore, that is normal because u feel betrayed, my dear plz forgive her nd when you've put urself together u can go back to the house because as for now I knw u re upset with her. Mind u there are no more secrets she is keeping from you, guess these was kept a secret in order not to loose u.

Unknown said...

Go back to your wife oooooooh, forgive her nd be happy wt her abeg oga

Unknown said...

Mumu u de run from ur trouble. Better kip moving away from the house. Wt of ur own numerous secrets, so her being sincere finally is now a crime? Abeg talk another thing biko

Unknown said...

This kind of thing cannot fly like that, she kept this secret long enough so she can get married and then come clean, that's a dick move. You have to let her go. She is full of secrets

Unknown said...

Fucking idiot. Stay with your wife. Moving out of the house is going far. Do you really love your wife? Children are blessings. That was her past. You are her present. This your reaction is the reason she didnt tell you in the first place.

Unknown said...

Sorry dear.. why she no tell u


Linda can't wait to see u marry

Rosemary A. Chidi said...

She was scared of loosing u that's y she didn't tell u before u married her i guess, just forgive her if u lv...talking abt not trusting her anymore cos of keeping secrets,u too have secrets,everybody does..so just forgive n forget

Mihearty said...

It's very wrong to hide anything from your partner especially issues like this. The woman is not meant to be trusted because she has sold her trust. Just find a place in ur heart to forgive her.

Unknown said...

Forgive her.. Remember for better or for worse...

Unknown said...

Pele......

Temi said...

You dnt hv choice man, d best tin 2 do s 2 go bk home, sit ur wife down and settle everytin, lettin her knw dat if u find out leta in d future dat she s still hiding anytin 4rm u, u hv no choice dan 2 divorce.

Unknown said...

Your wife has really got a huge gut to have kept such a huge secret from you.
Such woman can kill bro, not trying to be mean here, but that's the gospel truth.
Bro, get baq your son and runaway for your life.

Unknown said...

Obviously she is having more of those secrets and this just the beginning.. women and their duality, God help u find peace bro that's all

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Oghie Nas said...

For me, dat she had a an 11yr old child isnt d problem, that she hid it frm me fir more dan 2yrs is... den u begin to ask urself hu to trust... gonna b difficult but u can pull tru.

Unknown said...

Chai! there is God ooooo!
The DOOR please.

Unknown said...

Pray to God

Dreezy the quidnunc said...

Kai..

ary said...

Does the fact that she had a son change how you feel about her?! Would it have made a difference if you had known from the onset? I understand that you feel betrayed but put yourself in your wife shoes, we live in a very judgemental society, where widows are seen as sex mates not wives, where single moms are abhorred as no one is willing to train another man's kid. My point is she had a good reason IMO to hide her son from you, I am not saying she did the right thing just saying that she was looking out for herself.

NaijaDeltaBabe said...

Dis is quite deep. But give her a second chance

Unknown said...

she is now ur wife or your dick is clicking for another person out there.
#sad indeed#

Anonymous said...

Marriage is for life...sort ur thoughts out but u should have a talk with her...let her know how you feel. Try to build your relationship past it. All the best.

Unknown said...

You do nothing

Anonymous said...

U av moved out already n r still asking wot u shud do

naija dj said...

Bros, you better consider that relationship carefully. A woman who can scheme and cover up so well is normally bad news. What else is she hiding? What else will she hide in the future? Even if you manage to forgive her, there will be serious trust issues that will make the relationship hellish. Break free while you still can!

ANYA IKENGA said...

U are lucky is only 1 pikin. Cosmetics now makes it easier 4 women to cover stretch marks and now a lot of them have unimaginable secrets.

Unknown said...

Too bad of her dear but u still need to 4give her. Every woman would want to do same just to save her courtship. Since she's still fruitful just 4give her. No 1 knows what that 11 year old boy will become tomorrow.

Unknown said...

Accept her 4 who she is...... but she can't be TRUSTED TOTALLY!!!

Unknown said...

Accept her 4 who she is...... but she can't be TRUSTED TOTALLY!!!

The Janet Adeosun said...

If she had told you, you'd probably have had issues with continuing your relationship with her. Though she should have told you still. Better move in... Its not a big deal.

The Janet Adeosun said...

If she had told you, you'd probably have had issues with continuing your relationship with her. Though she should have told you still. Better move in... Its not a big deal.

Unknown said...

Eiya! It hurts! Firstly, why would she keep that away from you in the begining? Such stories tears marriage apart cos the hubby won't believe her woman again!

Ask her why she kept it away frm you & the father of the baby. That shouldn'τ spoil what you both share cos I knw it hurts as a human. Embrace the baby & move on, he might bring blessings to ur new home, who knows?!

A.K.A LIB'ier

Anonymous said...

i honestly think you should get back with her, i'm pretty sure she hid it away from you cause of the love she has for you

Anonymous said...

Sorry man, she thought you will leave her if she let you know the truth, go back to your wife and sort things out.

Unknown said...

Do you really love her? If so, you have married her already. Forgive her and get back to the house ASAP. The bible calls them "weaker vessel". Simply understand that. No perfect human being anywhere in the globe. Good luck.

Unknown said...

Its an act of betrayal on her side, but if she feel remorseful about her betrayal, give her another chance pls.

Unknown said...

Try and forgive her and also know that she hide it from you bcos she know that you will react exectly how you are acting now and she didn't want to lose you so prove her wrong and forgive her and also always trust her bcos she is you wife.











Linda I take God beg you waiting I do you self abi we dey drag boy friend, post my comment hhmmmm

Dazzlnbeau said...

Just forgive her nd go bck to her!! Atleast she ddnt abort d baby, she's humane after all

Unknown said...

You dull big time.. didn't you notice from her breasts? Didn't you check her Tommy? A marriage built on lies has the right to be divorced. Even a church will approve divorce if you cannot take it. Because she lied about a thing like that then she can't be trusted.

facebook said...

If i were you. I think i will do nothing but forgive her since she is the one that disclosed it latey. If you have made investigations and grabed this findings your self, it would have been seen with different perceptions. She waited untill she bare u a song, its all because she cant read your mind and cant predict what your action may result if reviewed. I see her as a lady that loves her husband and wants to protect her marriage against unseen action which has 60% tendencies of producing negative results. She loves you. Just forgive and caution her not to keep secreats for you.

Unknown said...

ehmmm dis a serious Issue.....but God 1st
I will advice u kip UR wife n over look it.....but make it clear to her wat she did really touch u.....
#Godbless

Unknown said...

1. She's wrong to not tell u but if u love ha, let it slide since she told u herself, u dd not find out, mayb she was scared of loosing u.

Unknown said...

Ping me 2bd9c50a if u are a distributor of apple and grapes. Fabulous offers await you

Addyogiri.blogspot.com said...

I know is hard but you have to forgive her, she was scared of loosing you

Unknown said...

Hmmmmmm. Simply let her know dat u don't apr8 wht she d and dis marital issue is not good reason to move out of d houz. So embrace and luv ur wife so dat she gain ur attention.

Anonymous said...

Well it's so weird, yeah! Hiding it for that long is bad indeed. But just try and understand her reasons before you take any action, for example, I am a single girl, and an only child, my mum persuaded me to give her a child before I marry, cool, I had two sons in my 2nd and final year in the university, that is like 4 years ago. But do you know after then, before I enter any relationship, I normally tell the guy about this first before everything. But I realized that, each time it's either the guy leaves (with my secret ofcourse) or most times will continue dating me out of sympathy, you know, out of 'I don't want to leave now so she will not say I left because she had kids' stuff. Even when I no longer want the relationship, you know this kind always asking after your kids, you know unnecessary concern over them and meanwhile I am on my own here, the kids don't even know I am their mother sef and my family will never allow them to live with me or disturb me. So I decided that before ever I tell any man am dating bout them again, we must have dated to engagement stage, at least I am now very sure.. .so you see, but why I am not supporting your wife is she hiding even unto marriage... it's even a ground for divorce in some churches.. I don't support that at all. Also if nothing is changed, you love her all these while and everything about her, her son is not an issue, not like they are disturbing you over him, then why not? Move on with your life dear, after all its her past, (we all have, including you). but make it clear to her that you will not tolerate such in your marriage ever again.. . So she should come off every other secret delight have had before now.. Best wishes.

Unknown said...

Hmmmmmm. Simply let her know dat u don't apr8 wht she d and dis marital issue is not good reason to move out of d houz. So embrace and luv ur wife so dat she gain ur attention/affection.

Bagan said...

Its hard to take in her confession at this time of your lives together. Relationships are built on trust, openness and true love, when one is bridged then there is a problem. She might have hurt you alot, that is were forgiveness comes in, love takes over. Maturity in love relationship is not how much you were/are hurt, but how strong you are to take and give love with your head high and move on. Moving out might not really be the best. Be strong if there is love from the start. Best of luck.

Anonymous said...

Tough love

Unknown said...

Hmmmmmm. Simply let her know dat u don't apr8 wht she d and dis marital issue is not good reason to move out of d houz. So embrace and luv ur wife so dat she gain ur attention/affection.

jedd said...

forgive nd go bck to her.she ws probably scared ull leave if she told u earlier

Anonymous said...

sorry man

Do You Have A Big Tummy? Get In Here for solution!

Anonymous said...

sorry man

Do You Have A Big Tummy? Get In Here for solution!

Anonymous said...

sorry man

Do You Have A Big Tummy? Get In Here for solution!

TheRealAkon said...

How many married women know about their husband illegitimate children out there?

Unknown said...

Hmmmmmm. Simply let her know dat u don't apr8 wht she d and dis marital issue is not good reason to move out of d houz.

So embrace and luv ur wife so dat she gain ur attention/affection and b a lovely hubby to her. Case close!

Unknown said...

God I dnt knw wa to say!

Unknown said...

Hmmmmmm. Simply let her know dat u don't apr8 wht she d and dis marital issue is not good reason to move out of d houz.

So embrace and luv ur wife so dat she gain ur attention/affection and b a lovely hubby to her. Case close!

Unknown said...

Na for here wey linda say bcoz a gal told his husband to be dat she did just 1 abortion wen she was 19yrs and D gal call off D marriage.......... Come to talk of having a son........ Guy am a man, but men r something X. U would have left her if she open up to U,,,,,,,,, just go on no big deal............

Anonymous said...

You do not hide things from people you claim to love. That is not love, its deceit.

Anonymous said...

Lol the man never said she lied....he said SHE DID NOT DISCLOSE THE FACT THAT SHE HAD A SON .....get it now? Now to the man in question....Pls forgive her n enjoy marital bliss .....i think dere wasa story here ystrday of a lady who confessed to a guy she got engaged to dat she had an abortion at age 19.....not that d abortion ruined anythin but d guy dissolved d engagement cos of that .....ur wife didnt tell u cos she was afraid dat myt hav been her case as well

Unknown said...

Just 4give nd 4fort.

Unknown said...

Hmmmmmm. Simply let her know dat u don't apr8 wht she d and dis marital issue is not good reason to move out of d houz.

So embrace and luv ur wife so dat she gain ur attention/affection and b a lovely hubby to her.

Forgive and pardon her...
Case close!

Unknown said...

Yeye u noor well.lol

Unknown said...

Just 4give nd 4fort.

Anonymous said...

What's your problem shebi she has a kid for you? Thank your God for at least she can conceive. What if she didn't conceive then your start running after Alfa and prophets even native doctors, she's better than all this single ladies out there that you don't know how times they had D&C.

Unknown said...

Its a tough one. I knw you're hurt, but forgive her. Its a test of ur character. Reassure her and let her knw that u still beliv in her. Make it work bro

Arsenal Fan said...

Shut up you goat!

Naija Babe said...

Pls forgive her. She kept it from u cos she doesn't want to lose u.

Unknown said...

Hmmmmmm. Simply let her know dat u don't apr8 wht she d and dis marital issue is not good reason to move out of d houz.

So embrace and luv ur wife so dat she gain ur attention/affection and b a lovely hubby to her.

Forgive and pardon her...
Case close!

Unknown said...

Hmmmmmm. Simply let her know dat u don't apr8 wht she d and dis marital issue is not good reason to move out of d houz.

So embrace and luv ur wife so dat she gain ur attention/affection and b a lovely hubby to her.

Forgive and pardon her...
Case close!

Unknown said...

Hmmmmmm. Simply let her know dat u don't apr8 wht she d and dis marital issue is not good reason to move out of d houz.

So embrace and luv ur wife so dat she gain ur attention/affection and b a lovely hubby to her.

Forgive and pardon her...
Case close!

Anonymous said...

Truth b told, u also v some secrets u aren't bold enough to share. She didnt tell u for fear of ur reaction. Appreciate her for telling d truth, it shows sh loves u n is not proud of her mistake. She tell u wahala, u use ur hand find out trouble.. Wetin u guys want sf. Forgive her and build ur marriage.

Anonymous said...

What of the ones you born And the throw away for you? Did you tell her? Mr carry your cross and stop finding fault

Gracejay said...

Must be an Ibo man and woman..Our culture makes us hide so many things other cultures discuss easily. What's wrong with telling him she had a child was that he would walk away like he just did...Yeye man! QED

gucci said...

It is very unfair 4 u 2 mk dis useless statement, where is ur conscience? Some of u need 2 tink bl4 u open ur vocal cavity, dat lady was only scared of loosin him, and since she came clean herself I see no reason 4 him 2 divorce her, a child is a blessing weda gotten out of wedlock or odawise, he shld embrace d child cuz u neva knw where his blessing will come in future

AbokiDaWarriBoy said...

Bro if u have any brains . Dissolve the marriage . If a woman can hide something as important as that from u then certainly she doesn't deserve u n it's quite possible that she's been lying about everything . Get rid of her quickly before it's too late .

Unknown said...

She made a grave mistake by not telling u earlier. I guess she was scared to loose u, even that shouldn't be an excuse. Find a place in ur heart to forgive please. And as for trust, she has a lot of convincing to do to be able to earn that again.



#TeamBlessed#

AbokiDaWarriBoy said...

Bro if u have any brains . Dissolve the marriage . If a woman can hide something as important as that from u then certainly she doesn't deserve u n it's quite possible that she's been lying about everything . Get rid of her quickly before it's too late .

Unknown said...

What a pathetic situations, forgive her, and continue with ur marriage, give her one more chance.

Nky said...

What she did was very wrong, guess she felt insecure that you will leave her the moment you knw the truth abt her son. But please find it in your heart to forgive her.

lamidun said...

U had 2 kids for your mother? This is the weirdest thing I have ever heard of. So did you sell your body to have them or did you get sperm donors or use innocent men

AbokiDaWarriBoy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Unknown said...

Go back home nd 4gv her wat if she had aborted it nko I believe d reason y she didnt tel u was bcos she felt u ll leave her once u found out she has a son plss 4gv o.

Unknown said...

Too much of nollywood. She thought about d possibility of losing you if she had come clean b4 you both got married. That's life for you! I don't think she has other secrets so nothing spoil.


OKORO UPGRADED**

Unknown said...

She FUCKED up Big time by not telling u b4 the wedding.
Bloody Cunt.

Unknown said...

Like say d mumu no go run if she had told him b4 wedding dat she has a child? Guy better go home osiso!!!

lyte said...

Honestly the fear of your reaction now is what made her keep the secret. I really don't see her as a bad person, she was only looking out for herself. Do you know how many rejections she must have had because of the revelation of this secret. It's always easy for a man with kids than woman. I once had a friend that revealed to the fiance then that she had a child out of wedlock. Before you can say jackrobbenson he took to his heel even his mother that was full of her praises suddenly became her enemy few months to the wedding o . Abeg my dear am not saying what she did was good but try and understand. Find it in your heart to forgive her and you'll be surprise everything will be ok. God bless.

Anonymous said...

U'v said it alll my sister. so my candid advice 2 him too is for him to go back home&talk it out with her,life goes on.I appreciate your coming out to share your personal experience,thank you!

Unknown said...

God would lead you through on dis. Linda take note!

Unknown said...

God would lead you through on dis. Linda take note!

beckymabz said...

There's nothinq u can do. Afterall there's child btw u two. Go back hom & 4gv her. She's ur wife. Havinq a child befor is not a disease. She's jex scared of d rltnship btw u too, datz Y she kept it 4rm u. If she had told u abt it before marriage, wil u av marry her? She wanted d right time & dat was d right time she told u. U jex need to 4give her. Though it wil be hard 2 trust her back but with time u wil surely do coz she is honest. If she's not honest, she wouldn't av told u abt it & u wil nvr knw

Anonymous said...

Omission is betrayal. The whole essence of being married is trust!! Dissolve the marriage immediately and take custody of your kid.

Unknown said...

All you advisers easier said than done. Ya all shouting forgive! Forgive! Forgive my sh**ty a**. Throw that bitch out of your house

Anonymous said...

Guy I don't see any big deal here.tnx God she evn told u.do u knw hw many girls out dr dt are single mother's?u may even be a father of whc dy hid frm u.can u swear dt some babes u dated in d past did nt hv an abortion for u?abeg go carry ur wife nd stop being childish.

MAZI said...

I invited a pastor for prayers in my house because of some things that were happening. During the prayer session my wife started confessing a whole lot of stuff I didn't know before marrying her. I am still shocked till today, I cannot kill myself because as a Christian I know the consequences but I am praying for natural death or by accident.
I have lost trust and faith in the human race, my dogs are more worthy of my love and affection. All you kids giving advice here sure don't know what it feels like especially if you lived a clean life expecting to share your life with the same type of person. Tufiakwa.....

Unknown said...

True talk @ Gucci

Anonymous said...

jackson......is dis u?

Unknown said...

Mumu...which 1 is not now??? please forgive her and move on!

naija dj said...

Lol! D truth wey I talk pain u well well? Silly women that want to eat their cake and have it!

Toronto Finest said...

She is capable of killing. But wont tell u to div oo

Unknown said...

Okokobioko. ..idikwa very risky!!!Linda take note

Anonymous said...

This one is mad ooooo. Haba!!!! So that's the best advice u can give the man? Salifu bokoharam, please get thr fuck out of here, what happened to forgiveness

Anonymous said...

What about her own family? Didn't you meet with any of them before marrying her? and no-one was responsible enough in her family to tell you the truth before marriage? I know a guy -the same thing was going to happen to him. But as soon as his girlfriend became pregnant and the wedding had already been fixed, her grandfather sat the guy down and told him the truth-that his wife- to- be already has a child out of wedlock!. He was very angry at first, cancelled the wedding and all sorts, but much later on, he forgave her. They still got married -and he adopted the first child as his own.
Not many men can do this-it all depends on the love and the willingness to forgive. Think it through well. It is true that a woman who hides this from you is capable of hiding so many other things. But then , who doesn't?? If you slept with another woman who gets pregnant for you, wouldn't you hide it at first?

MEREZE said...

My current girl has told me all her sins before we started dating, she isn't painting herself as an angel,and I am falling in love with her everyday, because she is real and hides nothing from me. Its better you embrace someone with a sinful past than embrace someone who paints herself like an angel.Many naija girls r lying whores, there are only a few left with integrity.

Anonymous said...

Anon 11:14- why are you thinking of death? And what do you mean by you lived a "clean life"? You say you are a Christian? You are not. Because if you are truly a Christian, you would consider the One who whilst you were even yet a sinner, died for you. If you lose faith in human race, then what should God do? So stop feeling so self righteous because you heard your wifes' confessions. If God was to reveal to your wife things in your family history affecting your lives right now you will be on your knees begging her to stay. What is the matter with you?

Latest Online Information said...

I once had a friend that revealed to the fiance then that she had a child out of wedlock. Before you can say jackrobbenson he took to his heel even his mother that was full of her praises suddenly became her enemy few months to the wedding

Jetty Lawrence said...

Pls go back to ur wife. Would you hv appreciated it if she had lost her womb in d processing of aborting the baby? If she could tell u abt dis, I don't think that she can be able to hide any other from you but that will be only if u give her an open arm to come in. Pls accept her back and u'll live happily with her for the rest of ur life.

D'Expendabl said...

@ nnukwunwanyi... I agree with γ̲̣̣̥♡̷̴̬̩̃̊u̶̲̥̅̊

Lord of Ish said...

People saying she was scared to lose you are selfish fucks just like your wife. Doesn't ur own happiness matter? If you do not want a woman with a child out of wedlock, no one should force it on you or worse still trick you into it. I would divorce the woman because for me she crossed the line but if you want to forgive her, go ahead. You'll earn a lot of praise in Heaven becos all these idiot men coming here to tell you to forgive her would not raise a hand when their families throw the woman's things out. As for the ladies supporting her, you're all like minds so no surprises there.

**The world is full of betrayal**

Anonymous said...

So? Is that not a good sign that she's fertile and can bear you more sons? She loves you and was scared to loose you that's why she didn't let you know initial. If she has the child out of wedlock, then that shows she's brave enough to have accepted her mistake and has a good conscience for not aborting the baby. If she was once married, make sure she's divorced and free from that old marriage. Accept it and move on man, it's nothing

Anonymous said...

Too bad! But there is no cause for alarm here since there is already a bound btw so I suggest 4giveness

Anonymous said...

My brother you are talking about the boy she had before she married you which you did not know about. I am not worried about that I am worried about the child you said she just have for you. Do you really think that child is your child. That is what you should be worried about because you might just be raising another man`s child. That is women for you my brother. "My people say close your mouth when you are chewing your food".

Unknown said...

Would u hv given dis advice if it were to be a man dat erred?

Unknown said...

Hmmmm if na man commit dis crime now hmmmmmmmm women voice no go dey sound like dis ooooo.

Anonymous said...

My guy, get yourself another woman, impregnate her. After 5years let your wife know you have another kid too and see what she would do. Whatever she does is what you should do to her too. She thinks it's easy to hide such secret abi? Make I tell you the truth, you never get wife. Na prostitute u get

Unknown said...

Fuck her up!!

Anonymous said...

If she had told u den nd it wudnt av mattered to u..... Den y shud it matter to u now??? Because she dosent know what will happen if she had told u dat was y it took her so long.. Nd now dat she has.. Y re u upset... Nobody from her family re even bothering u about it or re they?? Please go back to her bfor u loose ur love with her don't allow sumtin minor destroy your marriage... Dnt 4get its FOR BETTER FOR WORSE.. No mata d weather u shud always be together...

Anonymous said...

If she had told u den nd it wudnt av mattered to u..... Den y shud it matter to u now??? Because she dosent know what will happen if she had told u dat was y it took her so long.. Nd now dat she has.. Y re u upset... Nobody from her family re even bothering u about it or re they?? Please go back to her bfor u loose ur love with her don't allow sumtin minor destroy your marriage... Dnt 4get its FOR BETTER FOR WORSE.. No mata d weather u shud always be together...

Anonymous said...

If you were in her shoes what would you have done with such secrets? Now that you know the truth regarding the son, you have to both sit down with family members and discuss this and find out if there are any skeletons in her cupboard -

How you choose to deal with her truth is something you have to handle all by yourself - Nobody can be you for you.

God strengthen you both in your marriage - No every woman wants to be rejected as a baby mother

Unknown said...

Pls,forgive her and adopt the child if the father of the child doesn't want to accept responsibility.

Unknown said...

Ur very right my dear. God bless u for diz comment

Anonymous said...

Divorce her Biko!! She's a lying, scheming b***** She had it all planned out from the day she met you. SHE DOESNT LOVE YOU, SHE JUST WANTED MARRIAGE, like most Nigerian desperadoes. If she truly loved you, her conscience and love for you would not allow her to enter marriage with such secret.She thought it this way, I'll get him to marry me, after that I'll make sure I have a child for him, that way he is hooked! He can't leave me because we have a child together,then I'll confess and free my conscience before my son's father's people find out and expose me or some other person.

She DOESNT LOVE YOU AT ALL.That kind of woman can kill you. She a schemer! A horrible one at that. You should be worried of what she might do in future. If you're going back to that marriage, watch out for your life, protect and safe guard your properties et al, you don't know what she gat up her sleeve. So tomorrow if you die, Godforbid oo, she will now distribute your child/children all over the world, abandon them and start posing single all because she wants a man and to avoid stigma of single parenthood?? Is it worth it?? You should even ask her how comfortable she feels allowing her son grow up in her constant absence, just because she wants to marry and avoid the shame of single motherhood??? Abeg that woman is bad news!!!!!!! Better watch your back. Any unwed woman that separates herself from her child in a bid to marry and avoid stigma is a witch and should be bailed from! Her type can murder and cover it up! In orthodox churches, this is grounds for annulment and there's a good reason why! The marriage was built on lies, hence no foundation! This should also apply to men! Biko I cant type again. I have said enough!

Anonymous said...

Divorce her Biko!! She's a lying, scheming b***** She had it all planned out from the day she met you. SHE DOESNT LOVE YOU, SHE JUST WANTED MARRIAGE, like most Nigerian desperadoes. If she truly loved you, her conscience and love for you would not allow her to enter marriage with such secret.She thought it this way, I'll get him to marry me, after that I'll make sure I have a child for him, that way he is hooked! He can't leave me because we have a child together,then I'll confess and free my conscience before my son's father's people find out and expose me or some other person.

She DOESNT LOVE YOU AT ALL.That kind of woman can kill you. She a schemer! A horrible one at that. You should be worried of what she might do in future. If you're going back to that marriage, watch out for your life, protect and safe guard your properties et al, you don't know what she gat up her sleeve. So tomorrow if you die, Godforbid oo, she will now distribute your child/children all over the world, abandon them and start posing single all because she wants a man and to avoid stigma of single parenthood?? Is it worth it?? You should even ask her how comfortable she feels allowing her son grow up in her constant absence, just because she wants to marry and avoid the shame of single motherhood??? Abeg that woman is bad news!!!!!!! Better watch your back. Any unwed woman that separates herself from her child in a bid to marry and avoid stigma is a witch and should be bailed from! Her type can murder and cover it up! In orthodox churches, this is grounds for annulment and there's a good reason why! The marriage was built on lies, hence no foundation! This should also apply to men! Biko I cant type again. I have said enough!

Anonymous said...

Take it easy, there is notin worth dieing for

Gabby said...

This is a hard one and I don't envy you at all. If I'm in your shoes this is point we will part way and I will do a DNA on the child she claimed she has for me to be sure he's mine period.

destinysweet said...

U re so immature! Plz go up

Anonymous said...

If she told you Mr Man you wil not marry her and that's the mistake some many men do and we have some many families without children becos the ladies have aborted severally in order to appear clean.Please forgive her and move ahead.

Unknown said...

She is afraid of loosing you if she tell you the trueth,place forgive her and come back to the house

Unknown said...

Forgive her and move on jor!!!

otunba said...

Person ask for advice politely but your rude, uncouth, igbotic self opened your advice with insults!
Wow which cave do they breed people like you?!

Anonymous said...

@juliet why should linda take note?

Anonymous said...

You are a very sensible man Ugi

Anonymous said...

Pls try to count on her good sides. I don't think she mean to betray you. Guess she loves you so much and wouldn't wish to loose you. Secondly,find out the circumstances that led to the birth of that child. It could be that the man abandoned her. Pls forgive her.

Anonymous said...

LINDA BIKO NU POST MY BCOMMENTS.IV BIN TRYIN FOR LIKE 2 YEARS NW

Anonymous said...

Double standards is all I see on this Blog
The Marriage is based on lies so it Null and Void

Anonymous said...

She trapped him...she is a Fraud

Anonymous said...

I di very stupid..

Anonymous said...

I di very stupid. ..

Unknown said...

What if she had aborted the child .n takes her time to conceive u will call her barren .are really innocent .u want tell me u have no secret .holy ezenwa.

Anonymous said...

U aren't d first to have a bad experience so suck it up and stop been silly. U don't even sound like a christian with the kind of things u wrote. What do u mean by clean? Only Christ is clean! Go and sit down a beg!

Anonymous said...

for better or for worse

Golda Awosika said...

Dat is a dangerous expectation. I ve learned to not expect anything frm ppl so high dat i wud be devastated, if dey do otherwise. Jus fgiv ur wife, dnt let her be d reason u do not enter heaven.
#*karlishah *

Golda Awosika said...

Move bak home and forgive her. 4gvness is everything in marriage
#*karlishah*

Unknown said...

Marriage is for better for worse.

And this is like the worse part.
Deal and go back.

Unknown said...

Sum of y'all should really think b4 contributing..most ladies here r talking bs..saying she didn't say cos she was scared to loose him...dats d height of desperation..d point here isn't here coming clean @ dis point in tym..she's only coming clean now cos she feels she has d dude trapped with their own kid but dat shouldn't be d case..m sure if most ladies commenting here had dis dude 4 a kid brova....divorce wuld be d next thing on they agenda..ma bro ama 4give but trust me a lotta things would change in dat marriage...it can neva b d way it was

Mandy said...

Well said bro, .....mr man I hope you are reading this. Go back to your wife!

Unknown said...

God bless u for this.

Unknown said...

Thank u so much Seyi for this comment.

Anonymous said...

Well said Mide. Muyiwa

Anonymous said...

I really feel for this situation but my grievance is the fact that she had this issue well calculated. She waited to have a child for him b4 telling him. That's really unfair n selfish...it doesn't show luv anymore it's as good as using juju charms to hold ur husband.

Anonymous said...

@gucci. It's called BUCCAL Cavity not VOCAL cavity.

Anonymous said...

Watch her. She can kill. A mother that can deny her child for selfish reasons is a scary person. Watch your back.
Royal Priesthood, how old are U?

Okey said...

@Anon 1.40, whoever you are, i'd love to buy you a drink. Best comment/advice ever!!

AMI said...

I don't blame her. I lost one cos I told him the truth early enough.
Forgive her, move back into the house, ask her if she has more secrets and forget that you his surprise ever happened. Work on ur marriage, she was only scared of losing u.

Anonymous said...

I had a rethink, was wondering when vocal cord became vocal cavity.

omotara said...

Remember the man too is after one.. i'm sure he will also want to remarry with one child already and he will be expecting another woman to marry him with the child bah? Think before you give unrealistic advice mr naija dj

Anonymous said...

What she did is the height of betrayal. God will give you d grace to forgive cos its not easy. Half of the ladies in Nigeria are baby mamas to one guy or d other, who will marry them?

Unknown said...

She felt if she tells u when u were dating, u will not marry her. Pls forgive her

Unknown said...

Gbenga Paul Summarises it........
My sincere advice is that U should be her hero, that one man that means the world to her, that man that knows Ur wife is rotten but U completely see her to be amazing.
Go back home and give her a surprise reward for telling U the truth and let her know she's the best, U have accepted her whole heartedly that nothing of Man will break that oath U swore before God and the world.
No one is Good
Only God is good
Finally marriage institution is for better for worse.

God bless you!
Josephndohose@gmail.com

Unknown said...

There's no one good except God.
Surprise her for telling you the truth with a gift reward.
Be that one man that means the entire world to her
That man that sees her completely amazing even when U know she's wronged U.
Be that man that cannot be found in the entire world
Be her hero
Give her the opportunity to be proud of you
Tell her she's the best
Don't let anything of Man break that oath U swore before God and the world
Marriage institution is for better for worse
God bless you!

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