The phones no longer ring By Reuben Abati | Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog

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Saturday, 25 July 2015

The phones no longer ring By Reuben Abati

A very interesting article by former President Jonathan's spokesman, Reuben Abati. Read below...first published on Sunday Vanguard
As spokesman to President Goodluck Jonathan, my phones rang endlessly and became more than personal navigators within the social space. They defined my entire life; dusk to dawn, all year-round. The phones buzzed non-stop, my email was permanently active; my twitter account received tons of messages per second.
The worst moments were those days when there was a Boko Haram attack virtually every Sunday.

The intrusion into my private life was total as my wife complained about her sleep being disrupted by phones that never seemed to stop ringing. Besides, whenever I was not checking or responding to the phones, I was busy online trying to find out if the APC had said something contrarian or some other fellow was up to any mischief.

A media manager in the 21st century is a slave of the Breaking News, a slave particularly of the 24-hour news cycle, and a potential nervous breakdown case. Debo Adesina, my colleague at The Guardian once said I was running a “one week, one trouble schedule”.

There were actually moments when trouble knocked on the door every hour, and duty required my team and I to respond to as many issues that came up. Top of the task list was the management of phone calls related to the principal. In my first week on the job, for example, one of my phones ran out of battery and I had taken the liberty to charge it.

While it was still in the off mode, the “Control Room”: the all-powerful communications centre at the State House tried to reach me. They had only just that phone number, so I couldn’t be reached. When eventually they did, the fellow at the other end was livid. “SA Media, where are you? We have been trying to reach you. Mr President wants to speak with you” “Sorry, I was charging my phone. The phone was off.” “Sir, you can’t switch off your phone now. Mr President must be able to reach you at any time. You must always be available.” I was like: “really? Which kin job be dis?”

The Control Room eventually collected all my phone numbers. If I did not pick up a call on time, they called my wife. Sometimes the calls came directly from the Residence, as we referred to the President’s official quarters. “Abati, Oga dey call you!” If I still could not be reached, every phone that was ever connected to me would ring non-stop.

Busy bodies who had just picked up the information that Abati was needed also often took it upon themselves to track me down. My wife soon got used to her being asked to produce me, or a car showing up to take me straight to the Residence. I eventually got used to it, and learnt to remain on duty round-the-clock. In due course, President Jonathan himself would call directly. My wife used to joke that each time there was a call from him, even if I was sleeping, I would spring to my feet and without listening to what he had to say, I would start with a barrage of “Yes sirs”!

Other calls that could not be joked with were calls from my own office. Something could come up that would require coverage, or there could be a breaking story, or it could be something as harmless as office gossip, except that in the corridors of power, nothing is ever harmless. Looking back now, I still can’t figure out how I survived that onslaught of the terror of the telephone.


Of equal significance were the calls from journalists who wanted clarifications on issues of the moment, or the President’s opinion. I don’t need to remind anyone who lived in Nigeria during the period, that we had a particularly interesting time. The Jonathan government had to deal from the very first day with a desperate and hyper-negative opposition, which gained help from a crowd of naysayers who bought into their narrative. I was required to respond to issues. Bad news sells newspapers and attracts listeners/viewers. Everything had to be managed.  You knew something had happened as the phones rang, and the text messages, emails, twitter comments poured in. The media could not be ignored. Interfacing with every kind of journalist was my main task.  I learnt many lessons,  a subject for another day.  And the busy bodies didn’t make things easy. 

If in 1980, the media manager had to deal with print and broadcast journalists, today, the big task is the dilemma of the over-democratization of media practice in the age of information. The question used to be asked in Nigerian media circles: who is a journalist? Attempts were subsequently made to produce a register of professionals but that is now clearly an illusion. The media of the 21st Century is the strongest evidence we have for the triumph of democracy. Everybody is a journalist now, once you can purchase a phone or a laptop, or an ipad and you can take pictures, set up a blog, or go on instagram, linked-in, viber etc. 

     All kinds of persons have earned great reputation as editors andopinion influencers on social media where you don’t have to make sense to attract followers. The new stars and celebrities are not necessarily the most educated or knowledgeable, but those who, with 140 words or less, or with a picture or a borrowed quote, can produce fast-food type public intellectualism, or can excite with a little display of the exotic -Kadarshian, Nicki Minaj style.  But I was obligated to attend to all calls. The ones who didn’t receive an answer complained about Abati not picking their calls. 

My defence was that most editors in Nigeria have correspondents in the State House. Every correspondent had access to me. There was no way I could be accused of not picking calls, and in any case, there were other channels: instagram, twitter direct message, email, and media assistantswho could interface with me. But this was the main challenge: while in public office, people treat you as if you are at their mercy, they threaten to sabotage you and get you sacked, every phone call was a request with a price attached,you get clobbered; you are treated like you had committed a crime to serve your nation. Relatives and privileged kinsmen struggled with you to do the job - media management is that one assignment in which everyone is an expert even if their only claim to relevance is that they once had an uncle who was a newspaper vendor!

The thinking that anyone who opts to serve is there to make money in that famous arena for primitive accumulation partly accounts for this. And that takes me to those phone calls from persons who solicited for financial help as if there was a tree at the Villa that produced money. Such people would never believe that government officials don’t necessarily have access to money. They wanted to be assisted: to pay school fees, to settle medical bills, to build a house, purchase a car, complete an uncompleted building, or link them up with the President. Everybody wanted a part of the national cake and they thought a phone call was all they needed.  If you offered any explanation, they reminded you that you’d be better off on the lecture circuit. Businessmen also hovered around the system like bees around nectar. 

But what to do? “Volenti non fit injuria,” the principle says.  There were also calls from the unkind lot. “I have called you repeatedly, you did not pick my calls. I hope you know that you will leave government one day!”.  Or those who told you point blank that they were calling because you were in the position as their representative and that you owed them a living.  Or that other crowd who said, “it is our brother that has given you that opportunity, you must give us our share!”

The Presidential election went as it did, and everything changed. Days after,  State House became Ghost House. The Residence, which used to receive visitors as early as 6 am, (regular early morning devotion attendees) became quiet. The throng of visitors stopped. The number of phone calls began to drop. By May 29, my phones had stopped ringing as they used to. They more or less became museum pieces; their silence reminding me of the four years of my life that proved so momentous. On one occasion, after a whole day of silence, I had to check if the phones were damaged! As it were, a cynical public relates to you not as a person, but as the office you occupy; the moment you leave office, the people move on; erasing every memory, they throw you into yesterday’s dustbin.  Opportunism is the driver of the public’s relationship with public officials. 

 Today, the phones remain loudly silent, with the exception of calls from those friends who are not gloating, who have been offering words of commendation and support. They include childhood friends, former colleagues,elderly associates, fans, and family members. And those who want interviews with President Jonathan, both local and international - they want his reaction on every development, so many of them from every part of the planet. But he is resting and he has asked me to say he is not ready yet to say anything. It is truly, a different moment, and indeed, “no condition is permanent.” 

The ones who won’t give up with the stream of phone calls and text messages are those who keep pestering me with requests for financial assistance. I am made to understand that there is something called “special handshake” and that everyone who goes into government is supposed to exit with carton loads of cash. I am in no position to assist such people, because no explanation will make sense to them. Here I am, at the crossroads; I am glad to be here. 

155 comments:

Vivian Louis said...

Okay...

AbokiDaWarriBoy said...

*yawns*

BONARIO NNAGS said...

Hehehehe you ended the piece without dropping your number, drop your number and imma call you.
Reuben some days are like that, this life is a pot of brown beans, enjoy yours while it lasts.

~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA LUMIA

pweti said...

lol, actually funny

Anonymous said...

Properly written ...great job sir Abati.......ede.ozed@yahoo.com

ROYAL PRIESTHOOD said...

Seen

Davido's driver said...

Nice one

Chris Aimakhu said...

Na so life be. Once you are not important to others.....No one knows you.

OGUNDIRAN OYINDAMOLA said...

Dat is power 4 u, Adesina is in d shoe now, best of luck 2 him

dumebi said...

Abegi!!!!!!!!!!!!

money maker said...

Very interesting

@MEETDREALEVANS® said...

PARENTAL ADVISORY
***adult content***




Heya, I know exactly what his saying, your head just want to explode....

Anonymous said...

Figure it by looking at your bank account..mtchew

Odibe Blessing said...

Lolz a very interesting article indeed$$$$

AC£S said...

christie benjamin said...

It happens when you're a VIP.....

Anonymous said...

You are indeed a wonderful man, a man of honour

Anonymous said...

You are indeed a wonderful man, a man of honour

Anonymous said...

Staging a comeback small small. If only your hands weren't soiled..... otherwise oga leave story. Hope they collected back the permanently charged phone you were given.

Anonymous said...

Power is transient and most people are fair weather friends always looking for where the grass is greener



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Juliet Iwuno said...

Funny indeed. Dats life for you. Linda take note!

ed DREAMZ said...

a.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said..
.
Lolx.... Yu suffer shah nobi lie....
.
.
***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***

GALORE said...

Oga sir...get busy

Stop this noise

Notice.me.or I quench syndrome


@Good luck EBELE Jonathan is busy already...do same




@Galore

Juliet Iwuno said...

Funny indeed. Dats life for you. Linda take note!

Juliet Iwuno said...

Funny indeed. Dats life for you. Linda take note!

Mihearty said...

Excuse me???? Why these explanations? Don't tell me you are just seeking for attention abi u ar looking for work. Hmmmm some pple has time sha

anita gold said...

Nawa ooo

anita gold said...

Nawa ooo

Anonymous said...

Whose business

Anonymous said...

Reuben Abati SHUT UP!!!!!

Miss bee said...

This is a very interesting piece straight from the heart .Hope we will till her more of this experience nice one.

Jerry Anogwi said...

No more calls just as ur name is fading away..

femmedy said...

Kk... at least, u now receive few calls daily. U av done ur bit.

irabo bobby fera favor said...

Lol, Eyaah Oga Reuben Abati. Which kin job be dis crack me up! Lamo!!!!!!!!!!!!

T.bag uche said...

congrats then

Deejay Focus DjFocus said...

I pity you but that's the troubles that comes with the job & the money hahahahahahhhaaaaa but wait o have you return your own loot if not & you have it pls to avoid jail return it sharp sharp jail will not fit you o

Anonymous said...

This reminds me of d tv series"scandal"..cy being the chief.of staff making sure that every thing is in place for the president.
Olivia pope battling sandals and also making sure that everything that has to do with the presidency is in place...Ruben it is well.

Anonymous said...

VERY SILY TALK BY REUBEN ABATI. YOUR PHONES WERE ALWAYS RINGING AND MINISTERS WERE STEALING A MILLION BARRELS OF OIL PER DAY

charles Ifeco said...

I have always love this man. Honest,courageous and full of wisdom.I wish well in your other endeavour Kudos!




~Charles Ifeco~

Anonymous said...

And this is interesting to Linda? The most corrupt, negligent and despondent administration in Nigeria history! What's amusing about what REUBEN said. Rubbish

Henry Eze said...

What a sweet write up, if u didn't read this piece and went straight to the comment section then u are a worthless piece of shit.......God i want to be this good someday

Henry Eze said...

What a sweet write up, if u didn't read this piece and went straight to the comment section then u are a worthless piece of shit.......God i want to be this good someday

Anonymous said...

i remember d days when abati was editor of guardian newspaper. his articles came up every thursday. o how i loved 2 read his articles but right now im not so sure. i hate him and all he represents now. his integrity? must be dead....

Anonymous said...

Couldn't even finish reading this rubbish. Reuben Abati is an idiot who pretended to be an intellectual. People like him, Okonjo Iweala, Edwin Clarke, Doyin Okupe, Fani Kayode, Asari Dokubo are among the idiots that fooled Jonathan with hypnosis, making him dull when he thought he was active. They sang lullaby for him making Jonathan feel wise while he was quite foolish.They slowly killed Nigeria and brought that Dummy into CBN and left the treasury empty. Reuben should simply fade away. He never answered serious calls anyway. Only those once oiled with fat from the Aso Rock Kitchen. Ask those who knew him before he joined the rat race.

Micheal Lawson said...

Well when your used and dumped,nobody associate with you anymore,its because people wanted favour from you thats why they where busy calling your phone,it dont last long tho,so deal with the real situation now,power is not meant for you forever!

Gabby said...

Except that you pass through Patito Gang but you did not allow Patito Gang to pass through you while you were at the corridor of power. All the Patito Gang ideal were never noticed in your actions. What a shame?

Kachi said...

Hey yah! Now a yesterday's man. Enjoy your life, Sir.

Anonymous said...

I use to love this man articles in those days when am still in Nigeria.His articles are so interesting and critical of the government of the day.I use to go to an elderly friends office on a daily basis in those days because I couldn't afford to buy guardian those were the extent of my religious commitment to Nigeria and anybody that tried to write objectively in those days of military administration in Nigeria.Now ,I still wonder how I did not lose my life through those frequent riots and protest during the annulment of Abiola Kashimawo Moshood election.I remember weeping like a baby when the election was annulled.I remember how I went ballistic when Abiola died in custody and the mopol went after us with live bullet and tear gas.Is a miracle am alive anyway. Looking back now ,am really so sad that Rebuen Abati lost his voice. What it takes for evil to thrive is for the righteous to shut it's mouth in the face of recklessness in the land.Years later, I made it to England,I was shocked by the advancement,Till today I still weep for my countrymen and women who comes from poor background like myself.And I used to wonder which way Nigeria?But am also glad I never lost my life like some folks in the riots of those days ,because we have nothing to show for it.But I just wish Rebuen Abati should keep quiet and enjoy his money silently and spare us the useless detailed of the dirty job he took up.There more decent jobs that comes with such hectic schedule.I now know there so much people that push pen to get attention and be part of our collective problem than solutions.Thank you.

chimaobi simeon said...

#smiles! It's in job experience. U served ur oga very well and I always admire u and ur dedication. May God elevate u to more important positions

Ofilispeaks.com said...

which kin yeye article be this...I was waiting for something deep. Nah so so ring ring ... abeg joor!

Anonymous said...

And so was that not what he was being paid for at the time ......Nigerians and there petty chat.kmt

Anonymous said...

When u dey chop d money wey follow am, u complain?

Anonymous said...

That is the life of public office holders.

Anonymous said...

If only phone calls could give us as much money as u have we would rather be glued to our phones.

hrm paul ojeih said...

Abati Abati u use to b a noble man truthful and concise but since u dinned with d devil things av changed.least I forget do u still go to the residence

SonOfAbraham SonOfAbraham said...

#Story4dgods..... U will soon be Probed! #NaTurnByTurn

Ife Olaleye said...

Well, I did enjoy your article. It feels odd to have a position of significance and then give it up, it feels as if a part of you has been taken away. But don't worry you would get used to it.

Anonymous said...

## CRaze dey Worry you this man ## Mr indomie brain

Chikaka said...

Ha! Ha!!

Anonymous said...

Your wife complains of your phone ringing at nite....which of your wives because they are 2 in number

Anonymous said...

I love how he ended it in that figure of speech . Indeed a journalist! Unlike them Linda. Here I am at crossroads.. and I'm glad to be here.

austine urom said...

Lolz intrestin

Anonymous said...

Your wife complains of your phone ringing at nite....which of your wives because they are 2 in number

NMaa said...

I read all and I learnt a lot. Very interesting

Anonymous said...

Abati is now one of the men of yesterday. To borrow his words

Anonymous said...

Abati is now one of the men of yesterday. To borrow his words

Anonymous said...

I enjoyed reading this piece...

yugo said...

stingy man

Anonymous said...

Well, ur ph still rings nd u r complaining. i think u shld b ignored totally. What d'u think, when u spent all these yrs "Licking Ass" nd defendinding the indefensible. Anyway, being the mgbati man u r, u shld have changed gear immediately, and sing the praises of Buhari. It wld have surprised no one b/c that's how u have been thro all these yrs. Who knows, Buhari might have considered u so u can keep recieving ur calls.

golda awosika said...

Indeed no condition is permanent
#*karlishah*

Suleiman aisha said...

Wow! Honestly for first I have found Abati's article interesting. No condition is permanent bro.

gentle said...

To be honest...m happy too you are there. Just rest and take care of Jonathan well. Even if I dnt say it often, jonathan's my fav president...if only he was more strong willed, he might have been every one's best too...well tribalism aside. No matter, I still like him.

smt 042 said...

Oga Abati , dat position is a juicy one , if yu did not assist people while yu were there . It's a big time shit ! My guy yu made money , owo , kudi , ego , dollars , pounds , euro n naira . Don't lie here !

Anonymous said...

Rehabilitation process starts! What a shame.

Anonymous said...

Abati, you just dey start. Its now time to pay for your (mis)deeds in office.
Welcome to the real world!

Attah Andrew Attah said...

sumary pls..

Anonymous said...


Rueben Abati....storrrry to the Gods.
You are seeking attention for all i care with your very dry write-up. EFCC is waiting for you on your arrival from your short course at the University of Oxford to recoup all the monies (Dollars) you wired abroad. You forget that anything that has a beginning must have an end. You got to palace and forgot you source (your constituency) now you are out and seeking attention. You have no hiding place you fag. We are all waiting for your arrival.

Anonymous said...

This is life for you

Anonymous said...

Mmmmmmmmm, true talk

Ndubisi Tochukwu said...

Dats human being 4u, once u re of no use to dem anymore,dey discard u.

Ndubisi Tochukwu said...

Dats human being 4u, once u re of no use to dem anymore,dey discard u. Nice piece though.

Anonymous said...

I lost all respect for Abati about 3 years ago. He was part of Jonathan's problems. He could have helped by being sincere with Jonathan. I couldnt be bothered to read all this rubbish.

Anonymous said...

Beautiful piece, u can only get this from Reuben Abati.

Ifeoma Ekesiobi said...

Interesting article.. People surround and choke you when you are in power but once you are no longer there, they forget you like you were never there..

GABBY SPEAKS BLOG

Anonymous said...

WICKED MAN ONLY GOD WILL JUDGE YOU FOR ALL YOUR LIES AND NOW YOU WANT OUR SYMPATHY ..NEVER ...LET YOUR CONSCIENCE EAT YOU

Anonymous said...

WICKED MAN ONLY GOD WILL JUDGE YOU FOR ALL YOUR LIES AND NOW YOU WANT OUR SYMPATHY ..NEVER ...LET YOUR CONSCIENCE EAT YOU

Anonymous said...

NO ONE IS INTERESTED IN YOUR TALKS-JUST SHUT YR UGLY MOUTHS,U,JONATHAN AND ALL YOU OLES AND JONAS CRONIES,YOU ALL WERE DIPPING YOUR HANDS IN NIGERIA
ACCOUNTS AS IF THEY ARE YOUR PERSONAL AND FAMILY PROPERTIES-BUHARI IS COMING FOR U ALL-THIS YEYE GUY-ABATI DOESN'T PICK CALLS-GO AND HIDE YOUR MOUTH-
NO CONDITION IS PERMANENT

Anonymous said...

Ole! Now that he is irrelevant. He sold his credibility and integrity for money. You still need to tell us abati where you got the cash from as a journalist to buy the 3 mansions you have in Abuja. Innocent Ko, innocent ni.

NaijaDeltaBabe said...

Everyone is now a writer

Anonymous said...

Please have SEVERAL seats. Idiotic product of a corrupt administration.

Anonymous said...

Nice piece Reuben, it is well with you and our ex President Jonathan, history will prove him right. What a gentleman! What a man of honor! Go thee well, Jonathan

Cornelius Chukwu said...

Experience the best teacher, who feels it knows it! You are welcome home Oga Abati.

Anonymous said...

Hmmmmmmmm

Anonymous said...

the irony of life…all i pray for are people who would stay with me till the very end not fair weathered friends or opportunists.

Anonymous said...

Wow is all I can say. Friends of the office...it is an official job

Chidinma Okereh said...

Lol

Olamamasblog said...

You are missing the spotlight.....

Seyifunmi Meg Ricketts said...

So in short, mr money changed my ideas and values, What exactly are you trying to say?
Because this is the most scattered write-up I've ever read in my entire life.
Jus going about beating the bush....

Mtchew. No more power, seeking for refugee with us.
Shebi we said it will end.... so ki wa nii story?

Anonymous said...

Hmmm oga u try o, so mk i finish ds story? OK i end for everyone is a journalist. Summarize the rest mgbok



HOL

Anonymous said...

But u made money sha.

Aremo Oriola said...

Very stupid man. He was lecturing in the English dept of OSU while I was a final year student in another dept.
As by divine arrangement again, we both found ourselves working with The Guardian Press, but different dept but still discussed issues of interest.
Once he was appointed as special assistant to the president on media issues, he totally forgot all na Barrack dey outlived soldiers. All his colleagues, even including Prof Utomi, he forgot all of them. no one in guardian has any thing gud to talk abt him.He abandoned his first wife in Lagos with a restriction order never to come to abuja.And married another wife. He ignored even his fellow people from his Ago-iwoye. Insulted Obasanjo even though that one self no better pass.
Few months to the end of Jonathan's govt now, he came back trying so hard to walk his way back into people's life.
People shd learn that, that position you holding today isn't forever. Some were there before you, and some would be there long after you gone!

Aremo Oriola said...

Very stupid man. He was lecturing in the English dept of OSU while I was a final year student in another dept.
As by divine arrangement again, we both found ourselves working with The Guardian Press, but different dept but still discussed issues of interest.
Once he was appointed as special assistant to the president on media issues, he totally forgot say na Barrack dey outlived soldiers. All his colleagues, even including Prof Utomi, he forgot all of them. no one in guardian has any thing gud to talk abt him.He abandoned his first wife in Lagos with a restriction order never to come to abuja.And married another wife. He ignored even his fellow people from his Ago-iwoye. He Insulted Obasanjo even though that one self no better pass.
Few months to the end of Jonathan's govt now, he came back trying so hard to walk his way back into people's life.
People shd learn that, that position you holding today isn't forever. Some were there before you, and some would be there long after you gone!

Kalu Geena said...

Nice Piece...No Condition Is Permernant Indeed!

Anonymous said...

God bless you. God bless GEJ. God give Buhari wisdom and bless him too. God bless Nigeria. Zee

Meenora said...

Nice article, I must say. I wish you the best in your future endeavours!

Valentina Okologho said...

y will d phones ring wen ur master lose d election

Henry Werigbelegha said...

Well written

Valentina Okologho said...

y will d phones ring wen ur master lose d election

BEKEE said...

Before nko

chukwukadibia said...

Nice

Ifechukwu Chioke said...

Long story

Anonymous said...

Mmmm, deep. Pp see u as d office u hold nt a person.

HonsylGlobal.Com said...

Old fables.

LAURAAUJ KAHI said...

Nice one but still loads of cash is involved so far politics is involved. No condition is permanent

Anonymous said...

PLEASE, REUBEN GO BACK TO YOUR JOURNALISM PROFESSION. AS YOU RIGHTLY POINTED OUT "NO CONDITION IS PERMANENT. TAKE A CUE FROM ADENIYI WHO IMMEDIATELY WENT BACK TO HIS JOB AT THISDAY NEWSPAPERS.YOUR STREET TALK ABOUT EVERYBODY BECOMING A JOURNALIST, IS MERE ELITISM. EVREYBODY CANNOT BECOME SA MEDIA TO THE PRESIDENT. MY PEOPLE HAVE A SAYING THAT "THE FEATHER OF GOVERNMENT JOB IS OFTEN PLACED AT THE BACK OF THE HEAD, SO THAT WHEN IT FALLS OFF, YOU CONFIDENTLY MOVE ON.YOU EARNED HUMONGOUS EMOLUMENTS AT YOUR FORMER JOB WHEN GUARDIAN NEWSPAPERS WAS OWING YOUR COLLEAGUES SALARIES.YOU CAN AFFORD TO ASSIST THEM.

Anonymous said...

The last bit is really funny- special handshake!

Anonymous said...

Lol

Anonymous said...

Welcome back sir, we missed you. I was scared you will not return,.....to writing.

Anonymous said...

Mr Abati welldone.

Dr Odama. said...

Suddenly, Abati became a yesterday man.

KATO said...

How can you imagine when the pay was right and more than enough, remember when I would deny myself other things so as to be able to buy the Guardian Nwsp just cos of your column. Was disappointed in that your mission to serve. You used to tell other Presidents but chose not to tell your master when it mattered most, you're part of the reason why GEJ failed. Go Reuben, please go!

Ikemefuna Kingsley said...

Nice one Mr Reuben... You really did a nice job!

Mr President must be able to reach you at any time. You must always be available.” I was like: “really? Which kin job be dis?”... LWKMD

Anonymous said...

I like how I could create a mental image, while enjoying this piece that summarizes his 4years of service.

No condition is indeed permanent.

Abati, enjoy the freedom.

Lola.

Cyril Ossai said...

Amazing. This man is simply intelligent, I admired his works, responses and opinions all tru the years. He was always on top of his job.

chloe said...

#word#

Anonymous said...

Fuck Abati. He's now a yesterday man

Anonymous said...

Fuck Abati

dare timothy said...

How do you mean Cross. Road Mr Abati, you should be thankful that you are not assassinated during or immediately after your tenure, you don't have to seek for any office in these current gov. Go back business you have invested in, and see it grow, let your family enjoy u, and your creative writing....

willywonka said...

Well articulated.....more powers to your elbow .#NoEasyJobs

Anonymous said...

My friend u were one of our problems, u dint know how to do ur job. The only job u were good at is eat and sleep that was why you got fat while ur principal was getting slim.

Endydecency said...

Nice piece. Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown, its not easy anyway and every way.

MR NI'I said...

past tense

Anonymous said...

Thank God GEJ is gone for GOOD (of Nigeria). U and Doyin Okupe were participants in fostering that terrible administration, which is unfortunate.

Good luck in life and may your conscience guide you accordingly

Anonymous said...

Tru talk word of wisdom Mr SA media

Stephanie Ikolo said...

Sweet relief. This is the same feeling GEJ tried to express when he said "I was in prison for 16 years". The freedom of being free from office is so sweet you could taste it in your mouth.

Sena Job said...

Hmmm....na so life be

treasureborn said...

hello Mr Reuben...your story seems heart warming but i bet you knew someday it will get to this ! my opinion sir and i mean no disrespect ,i feel you trying to reach you to Nigerians(who are really hurt abt the administration which you took part in)to feel sorry for you and let go off the grudges! my advise Mr Reuben...we are all humans and its very okay to ask for forgiveness as soon as we realise our mistakes , talk to God first and ask him for forgiveness before speaking to any man and i also will advise the next article should be title MY SINCERE APOLOGIES TO ALL NIGERIANS ....my opinion sir -

Iwezu Joy said...

Interesting Read...

Iwezu Joy said...

Interesting Read

Anonymous said...

Next he will tell us he is broke and that Jonathan's people did not steal anything. And that he did not steal anything.
Shut up hypocrite Nigerians lost you long ago. You should actually relocate to Otuoke.
Ode!!

Ikuku AmStrong said...

Hmmm. Wow. This piece is "masterly", artfully done. His is truly very good.

Anonymous said...

What a sweet fool you are. You see an ego maniac weeping for no longer being worshipped and you celebrate his dung? Those that were close to him could not reach him once he entered Aso Rock. Why should they call the idiot now? Look for something sour if this is what you call sweetness cos Reuben is all sour now.

Ikuku AmStrong said...

This piece is "masterly", artfully done. He is truly very good.

Anonymous said...

Has he declared his asset? He should just do that and then fade away. No serious Nigerian wants to read his poop any more.

folorunso @folorunSOFT said...

I think this article should be published on all the dailies.This is very very interesting. Full of humour though, but more of life lessons. And yes, properly written! This line cracked me up like crazy "On one occasion, after a whole day of silence, I had to check if the phones were damaged! " LMAO ... Nice piece Reuben and God bless you in your future endeavours ..

Anonymous said...

So this is a Very Interesting Article? Actually I thought it was very Sexy. Thank God for Kleptocracy, Nigeria's version of Democracy.
Actually Reuben Abati, Doyin Okupe, Fani Kayode, Okonjo Iweala, Alison Madueke, Wike Onyesom, Godsshame Orubebe, Patience Jonathan, Gods will Akpabio, David Mark, Segun Obadanjo, Ibrahim Babangida, they should all be in prison with Badluck Jonathan. They all derailed Nigeria when they had opportunity to serve. By the way when is that CBN Governor from Zenith Bank going to resign?

Anonymous said...

Interesting piece lol. It's a cold world outchea...

Chidinma Eze said...

lol@'Abati oga de call you'.......wetin dem wan call u for again na oga?

Anonymous said...

He needs to rediscover himself. His writing is not a compelling as it once was. Mediocre stuff.

Aremo Oriola said...

Yeye man, go ask your oga Jonathan whether him own phone too still dey ring. If him phone no ring like it used to, who you be wey your phone go come ring. Ask Jonathan if him former ministers sef still dey call am.
As your already know, na Sai Buhari phone people dey call now, even Angels fr heaven. I tell you even if Jonathan call Obama now, na Obama laundry man dey answer Jonathan's call. Yeye, useless people them.

Anonymous said...

"My wife complained the phones were distrusting her sleep....." Can some pls ask the guy formerly known as Reuben Abati which of his 3 wives, 2 long term mistresses, 2 main side chics and retinue of quickies - which if them was he referring to as "my wife"?

The earlier he knows we stopped caring about what he's got to say from the days of Abuja land allocation - and that's before his appointment as GEJ's spokesman. His conduct in government has ensured his place in the dustbin of history and he should stay calmly and quietly there and watch how's things are now being done with integrity.

OJAY

I B M bolubantin said...

A very nice piece...
I was totally captivated...
Made me felt like I was a special assistant to the president on something...
Posterity will have you to thank for...

Anonymous said...

👍

Anonymous said...

One word 2 describe a dumb ass like urself " STUPID" & dat is putting it mildly!!!!

Anonymous said...

No Amen 2 dat prayer o!!!! Dere is nothing good about being a sycophant!!!!

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