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Thursday, 9 January 2014

Dear men; what is the difference btw loving your woman and being in love with your woman?

I read the comment below from a guy commenting on the Gabrielle Union/Dwyane Wade love saga, trying to explain why most men are unfaithful. (Dwyane had a baby with another lady while dating Gabby) Dear men, please read another guy's view below and tell us if he's close to the truth..
There are more women than there are men, and whether you know it or not, "your" man probably has another woman...or two. Stop being naive to these facts. A man has to both love and be in love with a woman in order to be faithful. Majority of you have men that only love you and that's makes all of the difference.
Most men are not in love with their women. I am using men as the end all, be all because society is patriarchal and it is fitting and very true for my assessment.
Do you ever, ever hear men saying "I can't wait to get a ring!" or "I can't wait to get husbanded up!"? No. Most marriages are initiated by women as are most divorces. Society has convinced most women that the pinnacle of their existence revolves around marriage to a man and bearing his children.
Because of society brainwashing most women this way, men can generally get away with whatever they want to because they are the prize in the relationship, not the woman. What a lot of women do not understand is that they are nothing more than live-in maids, cooks, and sex partners. Of course a man can love a woman who cooks, cleans, and fucks him. But the magic is with the man BEING IN LOVE with the woman. Love and being in love are two different blurred lines and people like to gloss of this fact in order to save face and their feelings.

I think that infidelity is rampant because most men are not in love with their women. I could also argue that forcing most people in monogamous relationships also creates infidelity, but I do not feel like explaining all of that right now. Anyway, yes, the "being in love" part of relationships do not last long at all. Do you ever hear people say "The spice is gone"? or "I'm bored in our relationship"? Yeah, that's where these sayings come from.

245 Comments:

  • At 9 January 2014 at 18:42 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    1st to comment.whoops

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 18:43 , Anonymous duchess said...

    Well said

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 18:46 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    I'm a woman and this is almost spot on.

    "Society has convinced most women that the pinnacle of their existence revolves around marriage to a man and bearing his children. "

    The above in quote is so true.when we start to treat ourselves like we are THE PRIZE,then most probably,the men will treat us as such.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 18:46 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    confirmed...GBAM!!!

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 18:46 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    So which is which ?

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 18:46 , Blogger Cute G said...

    Though I'm not a man.Bt in the *thought of a man*,loving ur woman is doing all necessary thing u would ordinary do for someone u like.like providing whatever she wants nd making her comfortable.Being in love has to do wt intense emotions for her that U"ll be willing to make sacrifices for her.You see her as part of U,not just doing things to please her bt doing wt deep feelings for her.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 18:47 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Fact.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 18:47 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Wow....
    Very true.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 18:47 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Ok, most of what he said I think its true though I'm not a man oo. BGM

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 18:49 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    So which is better Lynda? "Being in love or loving" ? Cos d last paragraph of d story is abit contradictory.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 18:49 , Anonymous Mcphallus said...

    *yawns* pls lend me a knife, wanna slit my wrists, boring-ass writeup

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 18:50 , Blogger ONYX GODWIN said...

    Cheap excuse 4 unfaithfulness....and i dnt think Dere is a diffrnce btw loving and being in love... u cant b loving sum1 if ur nt in love wit d person...e perhaps meant caring for...

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 18:51 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    I'm afraid this is true...and I'm a married woman.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 18:51 , Blogger ginasky said...

    True talk Linda. I don't why most men are unfaithful.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 18:53 , Anonymous MISSPERFECT said...

    Don't get it twisted,is d same thing.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 18:54 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Almost true.however the line about love and being in love is all,crap.just another reason to cheat.I'm female and I don't think I can be with one man for the rest of my life.so I think its a personal thing and not necessarily a gender thing.the only thing holding women back is the culture.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 18:55 , Blogger anita anwana said...

    Oya guys roll in the comments

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 18:56 , Anonymous ms k said...

    Beautiful piece I totally agree wit him.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 18:56 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    I call the (excuse my french) "BULLSHIT FLAG" on that one. Whaaaaat? Really? This is an excuse gor men to cheat. Listen ladies out there, please do not let one iota, not even one syllable of this retarded man's jargon (s) enter your ears. We women are a prized possession. We are not sex object and cannot be used and dumped because you have an insatiable appetite for infidelity. Oooh the nerve of this guy! Lawd have mercy, im gonna go for a walk. I cant believe people like this are still among us.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 18:56 , Blogger Ajanaku oluwakemi said...

    Very true!

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 18:57 , Blogger SLEEKREEK said...

    Men will always be men.....

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 18:58 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    We'll said

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 18:58 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    i dont totally agree with him..bur i guess i wil keep my opinion to myself bcos this love thing is so twisted....popcake

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 18:58 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    We'll said

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 18:58 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Its self explanatory,Being in love with ur woman and Loving ur Woman......Linda,Linda,linda!!!!!!!!!........Captain Black!!!

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 19:03 , Blogger bella okon said...

    This guy should explain further.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 19:03 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Rubbish talk.... Please help mii ask the writer who men cheat with ???? No be woman ???? What does that tell you..... Please men and women are the same or beta still women are even worse.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 19:04 , Anonymous TES said...

    "Love n be in luv in order 2b faithful"these words are good but not true I believe a man can lv n be in love n still b unfaithful...der's jst dis tin abt men that they can''t even explain..bt I strongly that wit a high level of self discipline and the grace of God unfaithfulness can be avoided.#FACT#

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 19:06 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Shit talk. Fix ur life ur so ignorant about what love means.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 19:06 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    strange though but tru

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 19:07 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    I agreed with him! However,what really matters most now is CAF African footballer of year award ceremony not love stuff... Has Mikel lost to Yaya Toure? Hehehehe.... I remain loyal,GGMU..
    -Yemoh

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 19:07 , Blogger Pweetyuche said...

    Choi! I laff in swahili.oya umu nwoke,xplain yaslves because I'm personally going 2 organise "We dnt want men in our lives" crusade. Ladies get ready o.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 19:07 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    point(s) of correction linda, "your women" not "your woman", lol.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 19:07 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    point(s) of correction linda, "your women" not "your woman", lol.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 19:09 , Anonymous O.N.E said...

    I totally agree. This guy hit the nail on the head but if we all know being in love is fleeting doesn't that go to show that fidelity is dependent on more than just being in love with someone. women too need to be in love with their men as well as love them so it works both ways. So just because u didn't catch her stepping out on you doesn't mean she is in love with you and someone else isn't rocking her world. Life has taught me that it is a lack of respect not love that makes people cheat. Respect for God and respect for your partner.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 19:10 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    So stupid! It isn't valid joo.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 19:11 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    I totally agree with ds guy

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 19:11 , Anonymous Ann Marie said...

    I kinda agree to wat he is saying. societal pressure on women to get married is causing a lot of havoc

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 19:13 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    A man is naturally tuned to have multiple women, and a woman is naturally tuned to be faithful to a man, that is why as of now, the principles of marriage as taught by western culture is contrary to the biological functions of a man. It is high time we redefine marriage the way our Ancient African Fathers and Mothers understood it.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 19:15 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    I got ho's, in different area codes. But don't get it twisted love is a beautiful thing---- between a man and his women, lol

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 19:15 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    i kinda agree...i love my bf because of all what we have been through but am i inlove with him? NO...and i think he feels d same way about me. i know he wont leave me not because he is in love with me but because he has searched and he knows that most gals will show him pepper except me, its so sad cuz its really a mans world.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 19:16 , Blogger TEEDEE said...

    Hmmm cant help but agree he is kinda right

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 19:17 , Anonymous Gee said...

    "Society has convinced a woman that the pinnacle of their existence revolves around marriage to a man and bearing his children"- so friggn true. I totally agree wit all he has written

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 19:18 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Can the church say Amen......this is nothin but fact, hate or accept it!

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 19:20 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    I'm pained witin me cos am a married woman wit 2 kids.EBY

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 19:20 , Blogger bonita bislam said...

    Yea I agree wt him.to be in luv wit means its a mutual tin buh 2luv sm1 is a one sided tin nd it dsnt stand d test of tym.I tink its important 2hv both#ma opinion

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 19:21 , Anonymous hugo babe said...

    Wow,this guy is so right it's left for we women †̥ stand our ground and make sure we dont subject ourselves †̥ the maid this guys said.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 19:21 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Nawaaoo! Finally being in love n loving someone is entangled somehow, loving d persons acts like sex, cookings, worth and being in love wt d person is their personality, d way Dey handle issues, reasoning, IQ and their heart. Dats my contribution. Celine

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 19:23 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Word , take it or leave it .

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 19:25 , Anonymous Gregggy said...

    Some elements of truth in it.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 19:26 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Loving your woman is a continuation of being in love with your woman, U could love your woman at a point that you stop being In-love with her and a woman has the topmost power to make his man keep loving her. Everyone gets bored of something, most especially when both couples aren't best-friends whiling In-love with each other.My words are simple but use this "To make your love-life last forever without broken marriage/relationship make sure you be the best-friend of your partner, act stupid once in awhile, joke alot with your partner and surprise your partner with things that are memorable" #FISCOG

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 19:26 , Blogger jbankzE said...

    Vry Correct nd diz discribz our Naija ova Ego'd men.....try 2 luv a lady Rit

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 19:27 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    the whole point is muddled up because the writer like so many of us have lost the true meaning of Love, from your explanation I will want to suggest that the first is supposed to be the real thing and which is what is required of us all and the latter unfortunately is what we see every where today, which i will call lustful desire, which fades away after satisfaction or lack of satisfaction thereof. Lot of us go into relationships not with true sense of love but for one thing(reason) or the other we are lusting after in our prospective partner. Infidelity is simply an issue of lack of character and indiscipline. Reason for infidelity to me will be:
    1.Humans wants (I mean all sexual desire)are insatiable, its is left to you to discipline yourself.
    2. Selfishness
    3. The Trend of seeing our partners as instruments for self and sexual gratification instead for relationship, partnership and companionship.
    the most painful part of this is that the ladies are as guilty as the men but want to put the blame on men when the Power to correct all of these lies within their reach. No matter how much you desire an Expensive commodity, you will only go for it when you can afford it. When our ladies become expensive and valuable as it use to be things will be better. Just some few years ago when i was growing up, I know how excited I and my male colleagues use to be when we see just the lining of our female classmate undies, and how bad they feel knowing that we saw their undies. Today we are no longer struggling to see the linings of a lady's undies we have become tired and bored with the entire stuffs. 2ndly, How could you cheapen yourself to the extent of reducing your self or allow yourself to be reduced from been Beautiful to be SEXY. someone calls you SEXY and you are happy when you have just been reduced to an Appealing Sexual Object or figure by that individual. You have finally agreed that what will make you appealing or acceptable is when you expose your vital parts, your selling point is no longer how intelligent, discipline, hardworking, caring and mature you are but your selling point and the part of you that now receives all your attention is HOW SEXY YOU ARE & LOOK. Normally is is what we are suppose to see and know after paying the price and in the bedroom but unfortunately this has become what we see and know first even before know you and on the street. NA WA OH,WHO REALLY IS TO BE BLAMED?

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 19:28 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    So true! Guys can be really stupid at times. I know a guy who loves is GF but is clearly and madly IN love with another girl but he doesn't want to be the bad guy and end things with his GF. I think he is being foolish because marriage is for a life time, why miss the opportunity of being with the person you are in love with for a lifetime and marry someone you just love??? I know for sure that this guy will continuously cheat on his GF. Guys!!! Go for the girl you are IN Love with anytime because that feeling lasts a life time and you will be a better husband, dont listen to what people will say because they won't be there years into your marriage when you can't even stand five mins with your wife because she bores you. Enough said!!!

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 19:30 , Anonymous ANITA said...

    being a lady is kinda difficult..the society make us look desperate and for that men use us and sex machine and baby factory...am not gonna fall for that;yes am not in haste

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 19:30 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Linda u lov ur mum and siblings but u can do without seeing them for a while, but ur in lov with the man u wana marry( I know there is som1) and u can't do without him for as long as u wud ur other family, that's kinda how it iss with men too.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 19:30 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Speechless

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 19:31 , Anonymous Nwa Aba said...

    Loving is continuous, being in love is presently

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 19:33 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Nna meeen! D guy is veri correct joor. We "men" no truly well who wil love sincerely n honestly. Society curse on women is "marriage"thinking is d solution 2 der life answer. QUESTION-"is marriage d final. bustop 2 happiness" ...oh pls. Abi na

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 19:34 , Anonymous Okocha said...

    Mehn...this dude yan ooo
    Linda,take time analyse this exposition...the are weighty,indeed!
    I feel he's more 75% right...what's ur take,on the issue?

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 19:35 , Blogger tammy asin said...

    All men cheat maybe not in the early stage of marriage after 10 to 15 years later but they must cheat that men for u

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 19:36 , Anonymous Gee-nius said...

    ah know ahm young and all... tin is, with all the shit ve seen happening dz days... ah cant help wondering if True love exists anymore... and weneva ah thnk it... the answer keeps comin bak as NO... -___-

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 19:39 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    The idiot got no clue to what he is saying! To love and being in love are the same. He is just bullshiting and spewing rubbish trying to find a loophole for cheating. Am sure he is one of the men that cheat on their wives...

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 19:41 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    I agree to some degree,women should have an open mind,a man can be unfaithful at some point! That those not mean he does not love u. #Roselle#

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 19:42 , Blogger joy said...

    He has said it all as a woman I feel so sad because I have never looked. At it at this angle.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 19:45 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    The guy that commented on this is obviously gay.......... Let Fashola catch you!

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 19:46 , Blogger Eric Uroh said...

    True
    10points

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 19:47 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Hmmmmm watz he is sayin makes a lot of sense. As an African/nigeria woman, to tell u guyz the truth I dont expect my husband to be 100% faithful coz I don't want to die of BP bfor my time. So I don't check his pone and all dat, I just trust him, love him, pray for him and give him his space. So that I will leave very long. Man wahala kills faster than witchcraft......"Lols

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 19:48 , Anonymous Brezzy said...

    truth

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 19:50 , Anonymous may b said...

    Yea am a girl bt dis is true tho I dnt agree wif d end, wen ur in luv rili in luv its 4eva... Cos dat person bcomes a part of u, bt wen u luv or r infatuated u always wonda bou wat ur missin, n den d cheatin starts bt maybe we nid a bit of d societal brainwashin to kip us on a leash! Remember hu ate d fruit first. Today women r bcomin more liberal n trust me, a woman invented sensuality, wanton n all dat so jst imagine, if all d "sex" words b associated wif us, wat we can do if we go beserK lyk men tend to do! Anyway, am all 4 marriage wif d rite person @ d rite tym, swimming pool rules: no rushin, shoving u no d drill!

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 19:51 , Blogger abigail kryashun said...

    I think it works both ways o

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 19:53 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Hmmm same goes to women,we love to have 1 or 2 sweet guys around aside our bfs. chauvinistic fellow mtchwww

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 19:53 , Blogger Olaniran Nasir said...

    When a man sacrificed his true love for materialism, that's when he comes up with this hard-luck tales.
    When you truly love someone, you are not only in love, you fall in love deeply for him/her.
    No difference. Love is not static, it grows. One progresses in love by falling deeper in love with his/her partner.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 19:53 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Na wa o, this love thing has turned into rocket science. *smh

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 19:55 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Err..*clears throat*, I'm not standing to dispute this guy, but pls talk for urself and ur friends. "MY MAN", has just me as his girlfriend, I'm not bragging, he's in the 1% of guys that keep just one woman. We have been dating since I was 22, I'd be 25 this year and we are planning a christmas wedding. He is in love with me, as he has been from the day we met. He professes love to me every millisecond, he says, its not because its a habit, but cos he wants me to be reminded that I'm the best thing that happened to him. He is the 1st and last person to speak with me everyday for almost 3yrs nw. The spice has not and will never die. He asked me to be his girlfriend on the 23rd of may and on the 23rd of every month, we are reminded of that day, but kinda have a special day on every may 23rd (2yrs nw). He says he can never forget the 1st day he met me as he fell for me only hearing my voice from outside (I walked into a restaurant with my friends). He is a christian with love, respect and fear of God. He is the only man I have ever truly loved. I can go on, but for the decency of time and space, so Mr. guys-do-not-stay-in-love-for-so-long-and-cannot-keep-only-one-woman-blah-blah-blah, it will do u a lot of good to drop ur armour of cockiness and ask God to guide and direct ur life and path as He created ur missing rib, if u haven't found her, say so, and stop blabbing rubbish!FLIPA

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 19:57 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    This writer brings up two separate issues, a man who isn't in love with his wife vs a male chauvinist who doesn't nurture his relationship because he believes it's a woman's job. The remedies for a man who isn't in love with his wife are different for one who doesn't respect women, regarding them as hybrid maids and fuck buddies.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 19:58 , Anonymous Sahnzylyn said...

    Well said,'the society has convinced most women that the pinnacle of their existence revolves around marriage to a man and bearing his children...'This is soooo true.the society has really dealt women a great blow which is passed down from generation to generattion,such that no woman is regarded and respected no matter her social status or accomplishments if she's not married. A married man cheats on his wife with reckless abandon and is applauded by his fellow men but a woman dares not even think of doing same,as she would be disgraced and even sent packing from her husband's house..this is a double standard really. And the most painful part is that it is her fellow woman who would help in sending her packing.A woman is trained not to be too ambitous so as to not scare men away from her...any man who is scared off by a woman's success is a weakling and not worthy to be called a man...period!! I'm so pissed off right now.Linda,if you like,no post my comment as usual..nonsense!!!

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 19:59 , Blogger josykay said...

    So true..dey are definitely two diff tin & its rily sad sha cos wen u av jst one phase 〇ƒ it lyk lovin witout rily being in love,it somtimes makes d love ache on d side 〇ƒ d woman! Bt it doesn't chnge d fact dat we stil av men who do d both bt unfortunately dey are rily few..very few! Ladies beware!!!

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 20:01 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Iv been crushin on u lately linda!!wish I'll b d 1 2 put a diamond ring on that finger of urs

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 20:01 , Blogger josykay said...

    So true..dey are definitely two diff tin & its rily sad sha cos wen u av jst one phase 〇ƒ it lyk lovin witout rily being in love,it somtimes makes d love ache on d side 〇ƒ d woman! Bt it doesn't chnge d fact dat we stil av men who do d both bt unfortunately dey are rily few..very few! Ladies beware!!!

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 20:03 , Blogger Soledayo said...

    I love you means i want to see you happy even if it's not with me.

    I'm in love with you means i want to be the sole provider of that happiness.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 20:04 , Blogger Stephen Ikiyei said...

    I can't really tell the difference btw both but for a man to stick to just one reason and not cheat on her depends on just the woman he has relationship with but the standards he has built his life on and will to stand on it no matter the temptation... For me i build my life on the standard of God's and its a personal (me an God) thing.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 20:04 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    THIS IS AN AFRICAN/BLACK PEOPLE THING. WHICH LEADS BACK TO OUR CULTURE AND BLIND LOVE FOR RELIGION.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 20:04 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    He made a point , women are so crazy of getting married not minding if d guy is in love with her.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 20:04 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    I totally agree with the poster. As a married woman, I can't see myself cheating on my hubby cos am so in love with him and my kids. My conscience will definitely judge me and put me in a situation that i wouldn't want to be. Men don't totally love majority of us, no matter how hard you try to be sexy, pretty, romantic etc. They still have the urge to see what is out there for them to taste. It takes the special grace of God and the dwelling of the holy spirit that will make a man not to cheat whether married or single.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 20:04 , Anonymous Chikaka said...

    Isn't this similar to what Babyface Edmonds said?

    What is love anyway? We all have different interpretations of love. Most of us have a warped idea of what love is.

    If people understood the spiritual implications of infidelity they would stay loyal.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 20:04 , Blogger chemmywalata walata said...

    Lmao dis dude just want to be recognized he is not making any point as far as I am concerned he just talk cock n bull story how can u say dat being in love with someone n loving someon aint d same lol he shud park well joor

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 20:05 , Anonymous joke said...

    Hmmm!

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 20:06 , Anonymous Amarachukwu said...

    Men oya make una answer ooooo,biko

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 20:07 , Blogger Jerry D'poronsi said...

    Logical question. Loving your woman means having a high degree of likeness for or attraction to her. Being able to slowly build that likeness and attraction without deciet or manipulation is what it means to really BE IN LOVE. There's a very thin line between the both of them. Some people can tell the difference, others lack the sense of discretion to understand.

    ~~Success Has No Limitation~~

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 20:09 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    This is a bullshit excuse for infidelity. And I'm a guy.

    Mscheeew. Like there are no faithful men anymore.
    Quick question. Who do d unfaithful men sleep with? Goats? Of course, women. So, it's definitely not a gender thing. And all this 'being in love' crap is just a bullshit excuse to condone cheating.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 20:11 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    finally a man that agrees that there is a difference between loving someone and being in love with them. while i may not agree with his tale about that being the reason y men cheat there is a difference between the 2. when u love someone you care about them and will probably do anything for them. being in love encompasses this but also goes further. when you are in love with someone, you life basically revolves around that person, you wake up and go to bed thinking of them and so much more

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 20:12 , Blogger Cintetic said...

    Being in love is emotional while loving someone may just be an act of sex or trying to get something from d opposite sex

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 20:13 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    I'm a woman and i totally 100% agree with this guy! Very sad predicament we woman have found ourselves. However, 2 can play d game! *wink

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 20:15 , Anonymous Patricia said...

    Linda, in my opinion both are almost the same, that's because the difference is infinitesimal and this minute difference is relative to each man. A man who loves his woman is more likely to be in love with her, and has a lesser probability of cheating. While one who feels in love with his woman has a higher tendency of cheating because he might be mistaking infatuation for love and we all know that infatuation doesn't last very long. This is where the statements about being bored in the relationship comes in. So you see both states that you mentioned are relative; it depends on the individuals involved, the nature of the relationship and the true feelings of both parties.
    It's a very detailed comment from the LIBer, however it's inconclusive as to the best way to balance out "loving and being in love". My deduction from all he's written is that, whether or not a man loves his woman and/or is in love with her, there's a high probability that he'll still cheat. This is really discouraging, I understand that the writer wants to give women an insight on how it works for men, in this regard, but his failure to proffer a suitable solution, that can help reduce this possibility will further heighten the feeling of mistrust and insecurity that some women in relationships and marriages currently experience.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 20:15 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    First of all, a man can love more than one woman but can only be in love with one woman... Being in love can go beyond looks or character.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 20:15 , Anonymous dhobiz said...

    The write up is confusing,jst a silly excuse

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 20:15 , Anonymous June said...

    Ladies, when you are dating; 1. Ensure he's ready for a family least u end up a sex toy. 2. Ensure he likes you enough to want to always talk/see you. 3. DO NOT impress a man into liking you, cos u may get tired & change, he'll likewise change. 4. Does he nag you or correct you over certain things? 5. Does he support you in any way? 6. Does he admire you, appreciate you or proud to show you to his friends & families? 7. Does he atleast respect you? 8. How much time do you spend together in a day/week/month? 9. Does he speak to you about his problems/progress? 10. Be sure to consider all the above cos what you do/allow now will always continue.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 20:17 , Anonymous Tee Cutie said...

    It's all indiscipline, you're to love the one you marry.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 20:20 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    I totAlly agree wit dis dude and yes am a woman.....i jst pray if God Eva decides 2 we come back agn,let all men b women nd let all d women b men....payback is a fucking bitch

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 20:20 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    it's only When a man has the spirit of God he can be faithful, truthful and loving to his wife. Because the real Love is of God. Love is God and God is love. I know someone who loves his wife so muc but, he still cheats on his wife. And the kind of love we practices now in the world. We always want something in return. Love is a sacrificial act to someone who doesn't deserve it. Just like how God sent his son to die for us ( as sinners).

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 20:23 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Well said MISTER.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 20:24 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    very well said.that is why its so hard to please a guy cos he feels d world evolves around him.and when d girl feels hurt ppl start talking.guys please learn to appreciate one woman and one woman
    only.make her feel secure and important.and for the ladies..stop kissing the feet of men hoping thats d ticket to matrimony.if he really loves you enough he wil take u to d altar at d ryt time.
    elle.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 20:25 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    I'm still looking for this guy to make a point.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 20:27 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Hehe. Guys pls speak

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 20:28 , Blogger osujichijioke said...

    I am sure Being in love with your woman and loving her are both different things. To love a woman involves those things she does. She cooks well, she cleans well and she is also good sexually to the taste of the man. Here the man loves the woman because of these acts. Being in love with the woman encapsulates loving her and much more. Being in love means loving the woman in totality, both the things she knows how to do and those she is not good at. You meet a girl or another woman who exudes the aura of sex and maybe she will probably give it to you better than your own woman, you do not give in to that temptation because what is binding you to your woman is that you are BEING IN LOVE with her. Being in love also is spiritual, it is strengthened by the fear and love of God. It is enough for the couple even when the man thinks that there may be better woman out there for him compared to his wife, girlfriend or partner. Being in Love is exactly what makes us not to swap our own mothers despite their shortcomings. When a man translates and transmits this type of LOVE to his woman, then faithfulness is never a problem. Would we ever cheat on our mothers, I mean literary. Never!!!
    Again, I do not agree to that fact that men are the prize in a marriage. Forget what the society stereotypes, WOMEN are the ultimate prize in a marriage. Yes, the society puts pressure on them, no doubt about that, but this us due to their nature, anatomy and physiology. They are built to help the man but this does not make them everything but secondary compared to men. Women are the ultimate prize, the resource, the producer , keeper and resourceful. This is the reason why the Good Book says that "He who finds a wife, finds a good thing". Infidelity is an act of weakness, and act of those who are confused. I agree, there are a lot if women, and so there are multitude of confused men who are ready to cheat in their wives, girlfriends and partners just because they are weak and are only in love with their women instead of being in Love and also loving them.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 20:28 , Anonymous Meks Constantine said...

    Oh well.....

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 20:29 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Well said.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 20:31 , Blogger mercy macauley said...

    Hiaaaa!!! Akuko. Never thought of it though. Lols.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 20:31 , Blogger ♥ ȊƦȋƺȟ ƘƦȋϻ ♥ said...

    Yea I tink dey guy is rite,dere re 2 diff tyn 2 b in luv wth ur woman nd 2 luv ur woman d@s y guys dnt value deir woman cos al dey nid is d sex nd d luv is realy nt imprtant nd we d lady dnt realy mind cos we tink out hv a husband we re nt complete..

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 20:33 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Lol! No comments. Hehehe

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 20:34 , Blogger anita olanma said...

    Amagimu ife dis post putara.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 20:34 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    so true, no man's faithful and every man on this earth cheat, God forgive me, even pastors or imams, i know some ppl will disagree to this, but the saying that ***the best way to save your marriage is to cheat*** is always true, cause men gets bored of same routine, and women are always too relaxed to realize this and look for a way to spice their relationship up, every man knows the main girl in their life, i'm saying this because as good as i think i am as a guy, i find myself cheating, my friends does it, my married friends do d same, so i think it's in the gene, but if the man doesn't get carried away like melaye, it can make the relationship grow better provided u don't get caught or carry it on ur head like hoody

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 20:34 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    First to comment miss linda pose my comment abeg oooo
    I total agree this reality abt relation nd marriage tingz aka .... Hazzy

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 20:35 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Men are complex beings!!!!!!! #okbye

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 20:35 , Anonymous Shuga said...

    I'm a lady but he's got it spot on......ladies feel getting married is d be all and end all,especially in africa....we r brought up to think that getting married is being fulfilled in life...and that makes dem jump into something that may not be right...don't know abt dem other ladies,bt for someone as independent as me,,,,,,,,I leave it at dat :D

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 20:37 , Blogger fase oluwafunmilayo said...

    Hmmmnnnn.... He's not only close to the truth but he's saying Nothing but the Truth itself... May God deliver us Women from Men like Monsters!

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 20:38 , Blogger Sannomkingz said...

    'I love u' is a General term,
    'I'm in love with U' is just the main Phrase every woman thinks the man means when he says'I love U"...if only alotta pple know the difference......

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 20:38 , Anonymous Valerie said...

    A man can love many women. His mother, daughter, friends. To love someone is to care about them, to be interested in and affected directly or indirectly by their actions. However to be in love with a woman is a whole different ball game.To want to be with someone forever in a rather intimate setting. To have a special emotional and physical connection with someone. A man can love many women but can only truly be in love with one. Think about this; you can love your daughter, but not be in love with her. Unless you're a twisted wierdo,that is.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 20:41 , Anonymous tayo said...

    I agree with this guy...society has made us accept that if as a woman you have all without a man,uve failed.especially in africa.I wld prefer to stay single if I have my way sha.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 20:41 , Anonymous Soso's momma said...

    Hmmmm... I'll just wait for the men to comment then.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 20:41 , Anonymous zuliat said...

    I totally agree wv that bcos if a man iz in love wv his woman then there iz nothing missing buh if he only love her probably 4d cooking,sex,or dressing, mehn datz out of point cos anoda woman iz waiting

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 20:43 , Blogger Tunde Ogunbitan said...

    Here are some things you need to remember about being “in love”:
    • “In love” is a euphoric experience.
    • “In love” is an illusion and counterfeit of real love.
    • “In love” is not better than “love”… It’s, actually, the lowest form of love because it’s not a conscious choice to love.
    • “In love” is an emotional high (much like taking drugs or drinking).
    • “In love” takes you over. Thus, you will often “fall” for the wrong person.
    • “In love” takes no effort. Real love requires effort.
    • “In love” is usually associated with someone trying to heal from wounds or terminate aloneness on the hearts of other people.
    • “In love” keeps you blind and will limit you in getting to know someone.
    • “In love” means you made a decision to fall in love by forgetting to learn how to love.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 20:43 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Hmmm!! I'm a lady and I love this fact. Thanks.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 20:45 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Yea dats a true talk if ℓ̊ can say Ў♥̸̨u α̲̅я̩̥̊ε̲̣̣̣̥ definitely right thanks a lot

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 20:46 , Anonymous Paul said...

    This is spot on!!! I couldn't agree less. We love but we are never in love. To be in love is to be immersed in the person. You don't have a reason for it but to love is just an affection for a thing or more in someone. Guys that are in love are the ones we think are under a spell..

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 20:48 , Blogger Bamidele Abiona said...

    Well said.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 20:52 , Blogger cynthia ikwueto said...

    Hmmmm! True talk

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 20:54 , Blogger Ijeoma Okafor said...

    Me b female. It's just his opinion. Some women ain't slaves,maids and live in partners, there are listeners. Just having someone listen to u,helps alot. Maybe dis guy talkn is a slave driver. Agreed love and being in love are two different things. Its left 4 u the ladies to find out which 1 u b.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 20:59 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    When you love someone, you care about them and you want only the best for them. When you are in love with someone, you cannot imagine your life without them, they make you complete.You can love many people in different ways all at the same time but you are only IN love with one person at a time.Being "in love" is usually a euphoric feeling, usually towards a particular individual.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 21:02 , Blogger Tunde Ogunbitan said...

    A simple definition of “in love” would be a euphoric experience based in emotion, with two falling aimlessly for someone they don’t know. Falling “in love” is not love at all. We do not fall “in love,” we grow to love. Real love grows over time and it is not based on an emotion, but a choice. So, if someone believes love is a choice, it’s impossible to believe being “in love” means more than “loving” someone. The entire concept of being “in love” is based on emotion and being on ‘Cloud 9’ when we first meet someone we really like.

    You see, every relationship will pass through the “in love” phase in the beginning and stay in that phase as long as the couple fails to seek true growth in the relationship. Typically, though, the “in love” phase will last between 2-24 months (and even longer for secret love affairs). In the “in love” stage of love, people will do and say anything to keep who they love happy, but the actions are purely based on emotions. Being in love is a temporary place in the early stages of the relationship, but to grow to deeper levels of bonding we have to move out of it at some point and grow into “love.”

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 21:04 , Anonymous Saucy said...

    Bullshit!!...First of, I'm a man and that assessment is solely his personal opinion and doesn't not translate to a general view. Being in love is a state of mind, while faithfulness is a mandate. You make up your mind to remain faithful regardless of the adversity but you have no control over who or what you're in love with. It is a transient state, you get to the place of love and you remain in love or out of love. While being in love consumes you and helps put focus on your object of affection (your woman), saying you love your woman and then cheat on her is an oxymoron. You can't cheat on what you love. It's either you're in or out.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 21:08 , Blogger emmah okocha said...

    Lmao

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 21:10 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    My sister dat's so not true! speak for ur self, not every woman out dere wants to be with two men at the same time.

    #That happy sister!

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 21:11 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Ok epele o

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 21:13 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Well said bruv....well said

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 21:14 , Blogger shilly2k2..... i think i know Naija and i say so... said...

    Well written piece,i think i think i agree with this guy to some reasonable xtent,no man ever faithful xcept he is pretending i have done that verification as well. Men r polygamous in nature they not satisfy with a single woman.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 21:16 , Blogger Ijeoma Okafor said...

    Tunde, ur last option ain't true.u don't make a decision to fall in love by forgetting to learn ow to love. U do not choose who u fall in love with. U can choose who u want to be with not luv.if u in love with sum1,u go d extra mile 4 DAT person.u do things freely from ur heart, u do not need to learn ow to luv. Maybe, that person is trying to get sumtin 4rm d other person, so u learn ow to luv, if not .....

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 21:16 , Anonymous Soul said...

    t is not society oooo. It's in the Bible. Therefore a man shall leave his mother and father and cling to his wife and the two shall become one body... Go ye into the world and multiply... and y'all know y'all ain't supposed to multiply without being married as it will be against God's directive of "thou shalt not commit adultery". Inugo?!

    P.s - just as a man is feeling like a gift and all, women too are. What women don't know is that no matter how much money a man makes or if he's out there feeling like Hugh Hefner or Flava Flav, he is NEVER complete until he has a WIFE at home... that is what completes and makes a real man. and y'all know every man wants to be known and addressed as a real man. That aside, women, biko, when a man has wifed you, please, be a WIFE (definition - a married woman; a man's partner in marriage). Don't become a marriage akunakuna or onye na'gba nilo. Be a wife to that man. Please. Signed - a fellow woman.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 21:18 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Love ur comment.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 21:19 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Linda bia, let me reveal it to you. Wether in love or just love, every man is programmed to want to sleep with other women, period. Sex for men has little to do with love, its is a manifestation of the inate desire to procreate. Nature does not want men to fall in love oe in love because it limits their abilities to seek different women to procreate with.

    If a man is in love or falls in love and his wife dies early or rejects him, he may not have to desire to procreate. Nature took care of that by making men less emotional about sex. Every man deals with the temptation to sleep with different women on a daily basis. Discipline, restraint and the costly consequences of infidelity keep most men in check.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 21:20 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Gbam!

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 21:23 , Anonymous I AM BEAUTIFUL said...

    You are DECEIVING urself.Or should I say dat ur 'perfect' boyfriend is a PSYCHO.watch it girl.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 21:24 , Anonymous I AM BEAUTIFUL said...

    Abeggi GET LOST.Can u afford a diamond RING?

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 21:26 , Blogger emmy oly said...

    _____________
    |/ |
    | =))
    | / \
    | 
    | / \
    |  
    ___|___ laff don hang me 4here Ooº dnt tk Ȋ̝̊̅t personal we knw ♈ōϋя man L♥√ U̶̲̥̅̊ , pls tel D̶̲̥̅̊α̲̅τ̲̅ 2 children, jst pray D̶̲̥̅̊α̲̅τ̲̅ charm kip lasting

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 21:26 , Blogger omenah said...

    Na wa o ur comment long pass the post!

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 21:27 , Anonymous I AM BEAUTIFUL said...

    You are DECEIVING urself.Or should I say dat ur 'perfect' boyfriend is a PSYCHO.watch it girl.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 21:30 , Blogger omenah said...

    Na wa 4 dis ur pix o,it looks like u bleach d tip of dat tin.......lol

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 21:30 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    K

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 21:39 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    U don kolo wit luv,abeg free d guy,u ar so insecure dt why he is pledgin is luv evry millisecond

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 21:47 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Shut up!

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 21:51 , Blogger rose agbai said...

    please future husband take a good look at this ring, i love it so much.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 21:53 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    I'm a guy but what this guy has said is nonsense. Like any other thing in life, if you don't make up your mind to do or not do it-and with God helping you-you'll fail. Same rule applies to being faithful in a relationship.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 21:55 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    You make sense brother

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 21:57 , Blogger Don Chocho said...

    Firstly, I'm a man and although women are more than men, I do not accept that men are the price in a relationship.

    I always tell people my ultimate relationship quote; "A MAN CHOOSES WHOM HE MARRIES...A WOMAN CHOOSES WHOM SHE SLEEPS WITH."

    To love or be in love is the same. No difference. Do not let people that don't understand love brainwash u. Both statements are exactly the same. However, when it was discovered that a person can love more than one person equally (such as having 2 or more kids), but should only be with one, in the case of marriage (monogamy), both statements were now seen to mean different levels of love.

    Fact is, love has no spectrum. There is nothing like 'love a little' or 'love a lot'; you either love or u don't.

    Being faithful in marriage requires respect and obedience; not just love.

    You do not cheat on your wife/husband because u don't love her/him, but because u don't respect the vows u took and the laws of a christian marriage.

    This is why u find people cheating but still say they love their spouse and in fact, that is why they try not to get caught in the first place.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 22:02 , Anonymous 1 mbano Lady said...

    You've said it all! The panacea to these problemsis to sieve some of all these western ideologies et all. Let's revamp our lifestyles n embrace our culture. Thanks 4 your enlightenment and I can't agree with u less.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 22:04 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Wow..I really do love this...it just opened my eyes. Yes I agree with him, there's a differenc between being in love nd loving some1.. Right now I think my boyfriend is no longer in love with me, but he loves me..sad tin.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 22:05 , Anonymous nma said...

    Not all men cheat biko.i'v been married for over 10yrs&my husband doesn't cheat, trust me I know what I'm saying. He still helps in domestics at home, cooks,takes care of the children more than I do.spends every second of the weekends with us&is very religious&romantic.i thank God everyday for blessing me with a man that loves me&is in love with me

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 22:09 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    FOOL!!! Go slit ur wrists nah, ur waist sef join! #whocares!!!

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 22:11 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Can I just say how much I love you right now. .spot on!

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 22:15 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    You're hilarious!

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 22:26 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Ode ...u didn't actually comment!

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 22:33 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    My dear it is oo..i used to date a guy 4 a year plus and we were madly inlove and we were so close.we had one silly quarrel and we broke up out of pride he refused 4 us to settle..as at 2013 december he must av gone like 3months into his new relationship..he sends me text dat he misses me etc and he can't love openly again..blah blah blah..den I told him it is not about getting married is about staying happily married and he said leave am jor happiness will come...I can tell u dat most men are not in love with their wives..true talk

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 22:34 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Pls be ancient..dash me ur phone,trek,walk around in goat skin..smh..shut ur mouth jor

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 22:38 , Blogger cherish george said...

    I dunno wat to say sha

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 22:42 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    This comment is so on point. Well done

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 22:50 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    A woman is NOT naturally tuned to be faithful to one man. Society imposed that on women. Just watched a show where a woman confessed to cheating on her husband over 100 times. Even in reference to our ancient African culture, I know a part of Ebonyi state where the women were the ones who used to be polygamous in those days and not the men. Men just use this baseless ideology as a silly excuse to justify cheating.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 22:51 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Who is the guy that commented Linda. Pls tell us his name!!!!! See knowledge oh. I have been telling my ex that I was bored of the Rship. No wonder. I'm not in love w him. Shit I don't even love d mofo. New year new man. Keep it moving.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 22:59 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Being in love mean to get smone heart while loving mean shows care from ur heart to smone u av married

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 23:07 , Blogger Eros Papi said...

    Still on the "Ogbono and Okro soup" matter.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 23:09 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    If I knew this guy I would give him a perfect hug, cos he just said the whole truth without mincing words. Men are fickle like that. You can love a person with all your heart and not be in love with them. Being in love is a whole different level and it transcends sex and whatnots, it's a permanent state of euphoria and perfect happiness. That's where the saying 'love is blind comes from'. Hilary Obiorah

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 23:23 , Blogger etochi21 said...

    Very true bRo...

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 23:23 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    This makes absolutely no sense. I haven't read anything this self contradicting and self defeating in a while.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 23:26 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    U really need 2 go bk 2 JSS2

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 23:35 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    1000+ likes for this comment. Women, don't let d devil's agents tell you, you can't have a faithful man.

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 23:36 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    I agree wiv him 2 a very large extent, d way girls behave this days wen dey ve a bf or a husband is like their world has been completed which is not suppose to be,u were not created for marriage,marriage was created for u,wen ladies stop seeing men as God then men can begin 2 fall in love with them #my opinion
    @UA

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 23:36 , Anonymous mosumola4love said...

    Dat is the true yan of the talk..take it or leave it...

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 23:45 , Anonymous Alloy Chikezie said...

    Linda dear! I really am not making sense from all that, but what I can say is that loving a woman or loving ones wife those not actually prevent a man from cheating, cos it those not actually stop a man from noticing other beautiful women, or admiring them, so the men who are not guided by the grace of God, go ahead to cheat, but the man with the grace of God those not act on his desire, or act on the admiration of that woman its only the grace of God that's just guiding and helping men, or should I say married couples

    Also when a man cheats on a woman or his wife, it doesn't actually mean that the man does not love his wife, he might love his wife but still cheats, that's why most men can have "maids or sexual partners outside their relationship" but can not or are not willing to replace their wife with such women.

    Infidelity is something that is common with most men, its a spirit, its not ordinary, its controlling spirit driving by flesh, a desire for the flesh, while most men have decided to make effort to be faithful and God's grace sustaining them, some men can't stop being unfaithful, such people needs prayer and God's deliverance

    I am not encouraging any man to be unfaithful and claiming u still love your wife, but I think women should pray for their man, their husbands and couples should also pray together, encourage one another, and help each other to be faithful, probably with showings of love, encouraging each other verbally and otherwise, and not shying away from their sexual responsibilities as couples.
    So couples should always work together cos they are no longer two but one, meaning one blood, one flesh, one heart, so whatever is in the heart of one should be in the heart of the other.

    Men love your wife and women respect your husband, that's the divine command

    But their is actually no reason on earth that is enough for one to cheat on his partner or be unfaithful, no reason at all for a man to cheat on his wife, it is totally unacceptable and highly irresponsible



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  • At 9 January 2014 at 23:46 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Its d same thing abi? Do you love ur father? R u in love with ur father?

     
  • At 9 January 2014 at 23:48 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    All these late marriage ladies supporting what d writer said, pls shut up! "It is not good 4 a man to b alone, i ll make him an helpmate" was it d society or african tradition dat said it? Don't look 4 ur man, then when u r 50 u start looking 4 another woman husband dat u ll shamelessly take to d hotel to ve sex with u.

     
  • At 10 January 2014 at 00:00 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Anon 7:27pm, may d Almighty GOD bless u 4 dat comment. U've said it all, I mean.. If we have guys dat reason d way u do, dis world wud b a beta place. Guys cheat, dats correct. All guys cheat, dats a lie from d pit of hell. There are still very decent guys around, u just av to look in d right place. Like attracts like, if u are nt a decent girl, how wud u expect a decent guy to come ur way. So plss ladies stop sayin der are no decent guys. By d way, I'm a lady. Ubby.

     
  • At 10 January 2014 at 00:04 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Mumu! That's what you hot out of that?

     
  • At 10 January 2014 at 00:06 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    @ soul; we've heard you.... Man-slave/sex object....

     
  • At 10 January 2014 at 00:07 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    God bless u 4 dis write up, I couldn't agree any less.

     
  • At 10 January 2014 at 00:08 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    I read a few of the comments. I am a woman also.tbh, there is a difference in loving someone then actually being in love. Hmmm u just might be in a relationship where your partner isn't in love with you, but only loves you. U.o.e.n

     
  • At 10 January 2014 at 01:29 , Anonymous Swaggs isimemen said...

    @ anonymous frm d former post wen she's said she's having Affair wit a man who hv 7 month pregnant he dump, there was anonymous who comment @ 1:11am, who said dat her sister dated a guy after leaving her sister he started dating her own frnd again frm there d guy cam 2 her asking her out, I want 2 tell u dis dat guy is a devil nt only devil he's a irresponsible entity animal dat's leaving among humanbean don't dat him don't even get closer 2 him delete he's phone no frm ur phone fast fast nd tank linda blog 4 helping many nigerians 2 see light I don't want u 2 tank me tank God who send me 2 read ur comment nd learn abt life is nt all guys u see driving cars re good or 2 date or 2 marry my dear be 4 u do anything just ask nd learn take care bye

     
  • At 10 January 2014 at 01:31 , Anonymous Swaggs isimemen said...

    @ anonymous frm d former post wen she's said she's having Affair wit a man who hv 7 month pregnant he dump, there was anonymous who comment @ 1:11am, who said dat her sister dated a guy after leaving her sister he started dating her own frnd again frm there d guy cam 2 her asking her out, I want 2 tell u dis dat guy is a devil nt only devil he's a irresponsible entity animal dat's leaving among humanbean don't dat him don't even get closer 2 him delete he's phone no frm ur phone fast fast nd tank linda blog 4 helping many nigerians 2 see light I don't want u 2 tank me tank God who send me 2 read ur comment nd learn abt life is nt all guys u see driving cars re good or 2 date or 2 marry my dear be 4 u do anything just ask nd learn take care bye

     
  • At 10 January 2014 at 02:00 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Is the writer trying to tell us that Men are dogs and lack.self control? If u love your woman enough ,trust me.,u wont cheat,forget about that senseless book called quran,Men should stick to one wife and be faithful,ive been married for 15 yrs and my wife and children are doing great......God didnt create a Man to behave like a Dog!

     
  • At 10 January 2014 at 02:14 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Love is all about compromise.

     
  • At 10 January 2014 at 02:20 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    It's nt contradictory; merely stating fact. That is y he said earlier in d piece, u need to love n also be in love. That is d best, the only necessary n sufficient condition for.....watever....blah blah

     
  • At 10 January 2014 at 02:49 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    E.g, I try to love her though shes a bitch and sleeps around with any man she sees because shes the mother of my kids...But am not in love with her

     
  • At 10 January 2014 at 04:49 , Blogger Phaeton Phoenix said...

    Lol, I am not hating o but chances that your man is either a pathological liar, or a bisexual (being even more downlow gayet than you would ever know) are very high. You must be thoroughly naive for a Nigerian woman. Check him properly because many women have no idea who they are really dealing with. I don't dispute the fact he does not love you or is in love with you, I am very certain he is, but, technically, your man will NEVER cheat on your and that is because he is sleeping with men. Lol. A real man would never promise you such high level of faithfulness. A real man likes other women. In fact you should fall in love with a real man that tells you he is human and can make a mistake, not the liars.

     
  • At 10 January 2014 at 05:01 , Blogger Phaeton Phoenix said...

    As much as I agree with the man who wrote this I also believe he ignores the fact that our society is slowly shifting to a lesser former of a patriarchal society and indeed this theory now swings both ways for women too. Women are human beings and biology and society are two different things. There are many women that cannot stay faithful to theirmen as well. There are many women that in a blinks notice would walk out of a failed marriage and take the kids along without thinking twice. There are many women that now opt to be in open relationship . He is indeed right but do not be confined by the African way of thinking that thought many of us to believe a woman comes second. Some women rule their homes, and some men are even found hoping their wives are the ones who do not cheat on them.

    That said, ladies listen up. If your man promises you heaven and earth that he would never cheat on you, believe me, chances that he is wrong for you are very high. Also, chances that he is a master at the art of telling lies or that he is simply gay too are even higher. Many of you will never even have a clue. A real man would and should never admit that he is more than a human being to defy laws of nature. It is entirely natural to want other things when you know you already have what you want. This goes both ways too for men and women.
    My heart indeed goes out to many of you women out there who indeed are clueless and have perfectly faithful husbands. Yes, technically he has and will never cheat on you. That is because there are other men he is involved with. Lol.

     
  • At 10 January 2014 at 05:04 , Blogger Phaeton Phoenix said...

    So can you imagine your life without your significant others?

     
  • At 10 January 2014 at 05:26 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    I love you already! Am married and I have a bf, kapish

     
  • At 10 January 2014 at 05:54 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Nothing can change that. It's the way the human race is wired. Society is a reflection of the human behaviour

     
  • At 10 January 2014 at 06:44 , Blogger TopeAdenle said...

    Loving your woman is appreciation, genuine fondness, seeing her as that
    partner......... but being in love is a function of that emotional CHORD, similar to Mother and Child, it ties the man to his woman, he won't cheat not because of religion nor because of low sex drive, he simply wont, because the first and only female he thinks of, every time, even in the period of sexual want or (new) desires is his woman.

    To a man in love, his woman is the only ideal woman but a few of us men enjoy this.

    Where I disagree with the Dude with the comment is that we don't think we are the PRIZE, Naah, unless the successful ones, that when our arrogance makes us have such ideas, we simply end up marrying the available blinded by convenience, beauty, sexual expertise and other flimsies.

    Deep down, even as we smile at the wedding seat, we know that, the woman/bride is what We want and not THAT woman We need.

    Let me give an example of loving a woman and being in love, I was in the lobby of a hotel once, and this married man was flirting with the receptionist (beautiful young miss by the way) I was few feet from them, then he suddenly says ooh! My wife said she needs X-item, then he leaves abruptly and out of the hotel he went, came back 20 minutes later, went to his room and was back in another 20 minutes to continue with the sweet faced receptionist.

    He loves his wife no doubt, he left the girl hanging immediately he remembered his wife's request, he however, didn't stay back in the room with his wife because the chord was missing, he chose the first floor and not because of the array of fine whisky.

    Another example.....I love my female friends, I mean, I will drive an hour to meet them in their hour of need, I will even have a go at the pie if the ones I am attracted to offer (smiles), then the question is, if the best partner is a friend, why haven't I married one of them??

    Because I love them but not in love with them!

    Peace

     
  • At 10 January 2014 at 06:48 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    I guess the truth stings but you'd rather choose not to accept it

     
  • At 10 January 2014 at 06:52 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    I am a married woman...and i have taken my time to study men, women, love, marriage, ur comments and the world. First of all i will like to correct two devil inspired doctrine! God did not create men to be ''polygamous'' in nature...as a God of justice he did not create them so to purnish them. That will be contradictory! Paul simply xplaind it that ppl commit sins as a result of their own desires that can be controlled by choice!...Secondly, to love and being in love may be different as being in love goes with passion and desires...love is a much deeper and true meaning of what we all want..and thats what the good book uses ''love'' being in love fades in most marriages and relationships.. While loves may starts right there...most importantly marriage is not for every1 but only those wo r ready to face the challenges of sticking to 1 woman by fighting against temptations the devil brings ur way as a matter of fact paul say it is a good thing to stay single so as to focus fully to the work of God. What ever u do here note that it's the only reason why you are on earth. While the agent of the devil send his ppl to deliver piece like this, we must correct such messages as its discouraging to women and encourages men to cheat the more! Love and marriage is a very beautiful thing and its more enjoyable and less disturbing shared with 1 person. Note that, lack of respect for your spouse and absolute no fear of God is the reason for cheating! So for those of you who want to enjoy their marriage or relationship follow me on twitter facethefact@facethefact2 or facethefact on facebook or better still send me an email on facethefactng@gmail.com with your worries! written by facethefact.

     
  • At 10 January 2014 at 07:00 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    One thousand likes for this comment. Very well said sir. Zeme

     

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