I've been married for a number of years now with four children and I was a very faithful wife until a few months ago when I discovered that my husband was having an affair with a close family friend. He had cheated on me many times in the past but this particular affair was the last straw. I decided to pay him back. It was supposed to be just that one time, but the affair has been going on for a few months now. My husband has started noticing my constant absence from our home and my distance from the marriage. I've also become very good at lying about my whereabouts. The issue right now is that despite the fact that I love my husband, I feel no guilt whatsoever. I've never even made any move to stop the affair. Does this make me a bad person? Is there any woman out there who can help me make sense of this? I didn't even know I was a woman capable of this. Why don't I feel guilty or care that I'm betraying my husband?